Original subtitles

dear Louis enclosed please find one bus

ticket and two silver dollars for your

trip to Michigan I'm really sorry about

the loss of your parents your mom was my

sister so that makes you family and I'll

do my best to make you feel right at

home as Einstein said life is like a

bicycle to stay balanced you got to keep

moving forward and so will we

I look forward to meeting you your uncle

Jonathan PS sorry for the stain on the

letter that's chocolate

- are you there

look at me okay

cannot see

let's top news every day

Louis I'm your uncle Jonathan are you

burning a robe it's a kimono

dictionaries oh you're serious

I like new words I think they're very

poker to do this well welcome to news

ebony or should I say salutations you

can look that one up I know it's not you

tations means no smart kid

and do you think that we're gonna be

home soon because the captain midnite

shows almost on oh you don't have to

worry about that I don't have a TV but I

do have a big poker game tonight if you

want to join do you play no intent duly

noted

ha here we are the mugging Samoan door

home sweet home do you like Halloween

oh no I keep those up year round mr.

Martin belt ah mrs. Han shits marmalade

Cyril it's a kimono you've been playing

your saxophone again madam not everyone

can appreciate the intricacies of a

free-form jazz I care what you play

you're playing at three o'clock in the

morning so I'm begging you lose this

well this is Louis my nephew

they'll be living with me you're

responsible for keeping a human child

alive that's right good evening I'll try

to keep it down around 3:00 a.m. but

them's my best jabbing hours

Wow youth that's a lot of clocks Wow

what constitutes a lot is really a

matter of personal taste for me it's a

perfect amount of clocks oh sorry

there's a deranged cuckoo in there we'll

shot with the clicks frames not far

behind hello you're Luis I presume how

was your trip this old hag is my

next-door neighbour mrs. Florence

Zimmerman I'm relieved to see you didn't

inherit your uncle's freakishly

oversized head huh says the woman who

literally looks like a q-tip oh look the

giant head is angry my god did that with

her purple skeleton just speak it's nice

to meet you Louis are you hungry

yes please Florence I'm gonna show Louis

to his room for once in your life could

you make yourself useful and whip up a

batch of those chocolate chip cookies

how would you like them sir stuff down

your throat one by one or crumbled up

and shoved into your pants ignore her

Louis you think she's smarter than me

because she's got more college degrees

I think I'm smarter than you because I'm

smarter than you

but uncle Johnson totally have to have

dinner before Milan drove cookies why

not just eat cookies for dinner they're

far more delicious I know I just we have

these house rules not miss house there's

no bedtime bath time a meal time you can

eat could you sell you throw up for all

I care you'll say things are quite

different here

oh my lures hello

why this is yours I have no idea you

know it's about the complete opposite of

real magic there's the last thing my

parents gave to me for the the car crash

sorry here yeah take that back um I have

tissue around here somewhere I didn't

realize the ball was emotional

significance was there feel free to grab

any color just you they're all the same

hold your horses your scarecrow right

calling that a poker face is an insult

to faces

Zor loser frumpy

don't beat that

oh he wins again you're hustling me you

played before I haven't I swear

beginner's luck I guess well I'm gonna

drown my sorrows and some hot cocoa you

want something yes please Florence the

night you get your own joke and die

so how long do you live next short uncle

Johnson oh we've been friends forever

ever since I came here Brandon here

actually from Paris after the war and no

to answer that look you're giving me

your uncle and I aren't anything kissy

faced their worst photonic that's right

look your uncle drives me nuts and he

doesn't always smell so terrific but

he's gotten me out of more tough scrapes

than I care to mention I've found that

all one really needs in this world is

one good friend know what I'm sure

you've got lots yeah turns all my

friends are really great

Oh dad I really miss you guys love you

hello big day first day of school how'd

you sleep

fine how did you sleep peachy like a

baby like a big BG baby okay off you go

knock em dead

Clark let's make a decision harmony

where even teams now let's play ball

maybe next time ankle biter coach fine

all right

they're with us you can't play right

sure

there is power Ford for the Minneapolis

legged I do buddy good

I vote for charming Corrigan has a vote

for pop in the drinking fountains hey

I vote for Tommy Corrigan is buffer

popping the drinking fountains please

how does he get a company a drinking

fountains don't just stand there can you

pitch

no never well I'll take what I can get

come toss me one come on what are you

doing here we're all your friends

football practice can't play can't do

anything my buddy's just warming the

bench so you're new in town

what do you live kind of this big old

place on the end of my street wait you

live in the slaughterhouse

I'm sorry what some old guy died there

now it's haunted well everyone says so

have you seen anything creepy no well

last night I thought I heard something

but it wasn't anything it's just my

uncle what was he doing no just sort of

wandering around I think he was looking

for something

he was looking for an axe it's his house

why wouldn't he know where's on axes

maybe he hid it from the police after

the last month

look I'm just trying to help us both out

you can't vote for me if you don't have

marks

yes sweetheart thank you no I missed you

so much I miss you too mom a lot

your dad and I we'd give anything to be

with you again you know that right so

how are you making out how do you like

uncle Jonathan he seems nice just what

hey it's okay you can tell me this house

is scary and Donald it's scary there's

all these clocks and I see your stuff

out of the corner of my eye and I feel

like I almost feel like that uncle

Jonathan's hiding something that's

because he is hiding something from you

I'm sorry sweetheart

but you're in danger danger danger what

do you mean you're gonna have to brave

but mom this is me on a brave

first you get the book then you get the

key keep what are you talking about do

you hear the ticking

john-boy don't go to your room I'm sorry

I had to see that what no you're gonna

ask me aren't you

well one thing's for sure the house

likes you I also don't like anything

their house is

do you know what a warlock is Lois its

voyage well I think they're a little

more than boy witches warlock now man

who practices magic a boy which are you

saying that you're a warlock

what does Gary if I was well are you a

good warlock or a bad one

now depends on what you mean by bad I'm

nice but not that good just a parlor

magician really but mrs. Zimmerman

she's nice and good damn good got a

doctor magic warm degree from the

University of göttingen are you always

wandering around at night what's that

taking in the walls you've heard that

this house used to be owned by another

warlock Isaac Ezard

and his wife Selena he passed away and

left a magic clock in the walls why

because he's a terrible Joker practical

joker put a clock in the walls to drive

me nuts

tried to drown it out with all those

other clocks but it doesn't really work

so at night I go around the house search

for the damn thing what an axe sometimes

I get over enthused I'll admit that

do you still you born a boy wait Oh No

anyone can learn they study practice

hard enough can I learn no you just did

anyone grown-up anyone there's charts

and hieroglyphs and stuff that would

stump a Harvard professor and I don't

have time to please please please teach

me please please please please please

okay have it your way

let me know when you've read all those

just for a start jack-o'-lanterns they

scare away evil and iron does too well

II repel people like bug spray and that

is why we have Iron Horse using that's

why some targets are made of iron and

how does one become a full-fledged

warlock you have to defeat an evil

spirit by using your own magic that is

absolutely right foot smells of rancid

sofa am I gonna have to defeat an evil

spirit one day

oh don't worry not for a long long time

you're perfectly safe

that's long as it's bet he used to be

Florence's had gartersnake Williams

snakes bear she tried to turn the purple

the spell backfired between you and me

most of her spells backfire these days

charms hexes wards spells evil can't

come within 20 feet of that cabinet much

less open it what's in it you know how I

said there were no rules actually

there's one rule don't open that cabinet

ever I'll toss you out on your ear you

understand this is pretty much the only

thing I'm serious about so I need to

hear you say it I understand

I think

beginning and the end Alpha and the

Omega do you hear the ticking

well I have scoured the crawlspace about

a dead mouse but I'll talk you think

reading that for the millionth time will

turn up something new no not really so

you told Lewis everything not everything

I think you should Issac may be dead but

he is still dangerous if Lewis knew the

truth oh we don't know the truth we

don't know where the clock is or what it

does except something horrible no we

can't do the responsible thing lie to

the kid

helis why do you wear those goggles

captain Bennett was purchased like these

you ever see a show

he's indomitable he's what indomitable

adjective impossible to defeat that's

what they call indomitable captain

middling I just think it might be easier

for you if you lost the goggles acted a

little more no oh good I'm just telling

you as a friend

wait friends we're friends

I should go get some supplies

tonight it's perfect Rachel what for

your first big time serious spell should

I punch it you won't believe what this

thing you do from the base to no one

like the outcome you stumble turn this

draws led into gold

wow that was really really terrible I

mean just awful you're reading it like

it's a big manual it's not what you say

Lois it's how you say it you're the only

you in the whole universe that makes

your style of magic just crazy unique

one and a hundred million kajillion so I

can give you the right books teach you

the right spells but that last 1% that's

up to you so how do I find my magic

style or whatever it is sitting there

somewhere and just have to quiet down

and listen

now it looks like you're pooping don't

know this all feels weird

what's wrong with weird weirds like the

nuts in my cookies there's the nuts that

make things interesting let me show you

what a little weird can do you dear

fetch a knife and stab me in the ears

well for a boy who loves words you're

sure to loss for them uncle Jonathan

you're way more than just a parlor

magician have a look around

right that was the most plundered

Thundercat it's one everything I don't

know the word yet but thank you I just

wish that I met you a long time ago yeah

me too

good night why didn't I

how come you left home

well truth is my father

your grandpa didn't like magic they sure

didn't like men messing around with it

we fought about it and we fought some

more until finally I just took off I was

a Black Swan of the family it's a black

sheep hmm pretty sure it's Swan that

waiting for the moment general I don't

really think she would have wanted to be

there yeah I know she missed you talked

about you all the time

goodnight uncle Jonathan I think I think

that I may be a Black Swan - well then I

guess we're a flock of swans a bevy it's

called a bevy of swans

you can control the energy if you focus

and channel it won't kill me no if you

focus then you are the conductor

watching show me what you got

not bad

theory gongs Florence last time it was

for now it's three what happens when it

gets down to one well hired in the base

but next sensible people okay this is no

time for jokes things have changed I

know Louis what happens to peace here

when it goes off he won't be because we

are going to find it we just have to

hold it together let me get some butter

flat-band Elvis

and maybe later okay and the winner of

the fourth grade class president

election is Thank You Monica make some

cookies tomorrow and celebrate the

answer be Oh cookie picnic into little

what what do you just I'll catch up

later

hey you got your cast off Joey go hit

some balls sorry

it bores me we're gonna explore a Wilder

Creek maybe another time I've got

something way better than that

oh yeah my house everyone's wrong the

notes not hunch it's magic

magic Magic's not real it is real my

uncle he's a warlock

that's why wegend I could eat your

spell's to throw a curveball dur hit

home run don't touch down every single

time cross my heart you could see for

yourself

so where is it already Eve old coat

Edge's

got you

I'll find you that purple spell just

give me a sec oh it's all there oh we're

not allowed to open it oh yeah why not I

don't know but it's my uncle's only wall

besides it's not no it's not

Derby I mean it we can't don't be such a

scaredy-cat a missus still you're

looking for

what's wrong man see no practice of

communicating with the dead or raising

them to life raising the dead now that

would be a trick it's all just weird

you're just weird is that the corgin boy

what were you two doing nothing

okay Johnson trying to play ball with me

I can't right now there's something I

need to look into later okay okay

Isaac hid the room with a hex and no one

would find means but I can't make heads

or tails of this I know about every

magic language there is the amber

deciphered the Enochian glyphs but this

really well at least I lived to see the

purple pachyderm get stumped I don't

know how much longer any of us will be

living weird beard Craig the Old Crow

must brush Haag face don't braid you

back here I'd give you a nasty wish

you've already got one okay okay look

what just this into you the omega isaac

talked about it when he died the last

letter of the Greek alphabet and in

early Christianity

it means Judgment Day

you're ranking okay you always were a

lousy liar you're lonely huh I just

wished Jonathan wasn't so busy I wish he

could spend more time with you so okay

what about Toby Toby hates me oh you can

fix that easy just show him some real

magic I can't do any real magic yes you

can with the book silly but when I told

you to find well you found it didn't you

look

you mean the necromancy book in the

library well Jonathan taught me never to

even touch oh he won't mind he's too

busy anyways take the book show thar be

a real trick he's gonna be your friend

again

I know it Harvey's a jerky now he runs

for president every year it is always

nice until the election after that

respective being him you don't need him

we could go look for spiders if you want

leave me alone okay Harvey okay you want

to see some real magic

I'll show you yeah you gonna saw lady in

half I'm gonna raise the dead

Cheryl I don't can raise the dead

watch me unless what you're scared

you need a babysitter fine but this

whole thing is just gonna be a big waste

of time

wait

Harvey Harvey

funny it is from here

well come on smart guy are we gonna wake

up how about this way the lamb means

that it's a kid screaming I don't want

to raise up a kid it's creepy that you

know that this way I think

nice trip with the both of us and no

that's you oh it's not is that it yeah I

think so

ah

for thou who sleeps in stone into clay

heed this call and rise up in to obey

trek on through the mortal door assemble

flesh and walk once more

Furby

could you put those back please

it's not creepy

who'd be crazy enough to bring Isaac is

our back

someone's suicidal the house knows he's

back can you feel it

I got talk we three piece was these

masters coming home I'm gonna need your

help on this one Florence my magic won't

be enough I'm barely qualified as it is

I can't oh I'll just mess it up I can't

do this alone

we won't have to Louis what about Louis

he's stronger than you know and one and

a half warlocks is better than nothing

just telling the truth

no he's just a boy you're the smartest

which I've ever known you can cast

spells I can't even pronounce I said I

can't I can't

I'm sorry look

Isaac is coming back and we can't let

him get inside well if your magic is

off-limits then what's the plan I can

still swing a hammer

these are crazy people marmalade crazy

people

you think these are enough to keep Isaac

out oh yes maybe I'm gonna get some more

don't come up I know I'm coming down I

need to talk to you not a great time

Lois I'm working on duty spell I want

you to stay at mrs. Z's for a few days

come on I see the horses I know

something's wrong what are you talking

about everything's fine no it's not

you're right Lois something is wrong

something is very wrong

Florence he's got eyes Jonathan it's our

friend Isaac is 'red except he's not our

friend he's very wicked very powerful

and I'm afraid he's back from the great

beyond yeah that's what I wanted to tell

when we find out who's raised him from

the dead they are going to be sorry very

sorry oh yeah they sure will look the

truth is it's not safe for you here at

least not now

so go next door Florence okay

everything's gonna be fine

mrs. Zimmerman oh I'm sorry dear what

are you doing I'm just trying wait I

stick it uncle Jonathan needs to perform

together they did everything together

they were best friends they were once

Isaac was an orphan a Jonathan a runaway

neither of them had family all they had

was magic and each other then Isaac went

away to war he was fighting in Germany

when he would m.i.a months passed

then suddenly Isaac came back home but

it wasn't the same Isaac it was

different

angry and more powerful than any warlock

had the right to be huh what happened to

him

we don't know all he said was he was

lost in the Black Forest now that is a

very old place with very old magic it

with the Brothers Grimm wrote the

histories you mean their fairy tales

now we think that Isaac made a dark

warlock in those woods a teacher who

gave him some terrifying forbidden books

one of which is so dangerous that your

uncle keeps it locked up in his cabinet

then Isaac abandoned poor Jonathan no

explanation then he found himself a

witch Selina so spiteful and mean he

married her and they locked themselves

away in the house

until one night last year Isaac

performed a blood magic ritual that

killed him was the ritual forth to make

a key a clunky of human bone we think

his wife's bones we think Isaac killed

Selena to make it uncle Jonathan said

that you were a really good witch even

better than him I was once

my magic was the toast of Paris you

should have seen me before the war i

melted salvador dali's watch one time

right of his wrist

why can't you help us

you know how magic comes from the inside

well I got hurt one time pretty badly

and even though my outsides got better

my insides never did and so now every

time I try to work any real magic it

just comes out broken now there's very

few problems in the world that can at

least be helped by a good chocolate chip

cookie me know and I'll talk now what

the other night what we did in this

cemetery we did something awful nice was

some trouble they all learned see see

there's this clock Lewis just stopped

nothing happened in that Cemetery

I can't you're scared I am too

good morning miss mr. woody I'm not

scared if you tell anyone I was there

I'll bring both your arms

in Tamil

uncle Jonathan went here

what are you doing here I told you it's

not safe I was being accountable I

suppose you were weren't you you can't

do this alone you need help and I can

help you no you can't actually I can't

cuz I know how to read this but I'm

gonna need some Ovaltine what I don't

understand you've seen this code before

yes

all right Ivan uses one just like it to

send commands who's right working

comrade who call right I've been from

the TV show always stops and decodes it

I don't believe it

three of the team sheiks pleased with

this clock Selena and I shall wipe this

filthy world clean it's a Doomsday Clock

either way it destroys everything but

not by ending the world but sending it

back to the beginning if the planet is

one Xiang Han plot then this damn thing

is the winder he's winding it back to

the very beginning of time everything

goes in reverse the grow younger and

younger until we vanish until there's no

one left

I know Isaac was strong but this goes

beyond anything I ever thought he was

capable of Knights at its blackest the

total lunar eclipse tonight

all those moons painted my bedroom what

if Isaac was studying them and waiting

for the right moment that's what the

cons are counting down to

they'll take the gumballs too

is torn blister pieces he must have been

looking for something and I think I know

what what are we waiting for let's get

rid of it

should this be melting right now too

much John the Conqueror root no not

enough goofer dust include Jonathan hmm

this is my fault

Lois you helped us you're the one who

decoded the blueprints I mean I'm the

one who brought Isaac back Lois what are

you talking about I'd open the cabinet I

use your book

I'm so so so sorry no you couldn't have

you don't know enough magic to pull up a

spell like that I just fought the

directions I bled onto the book Oh Lois

odd magic that was my one rule I know

I'm sorry have you broken I didn't mean

to so you opened a forbidden cabinet and

performed an unholy ritual on accident

Jonathan I think no wise it was evil you

never told me oh so this is my fault I

didn't say that then what are you saying

what that that were you thinking I just

wanted targeted be my friend again I

want my parents back I figured if it

works here I could go home but I don't

know I'm sorry it was a mistake you

coming here no no please please I'll

make it up to you please no this is no

place for a kid it's not safe for you

here that was wrong to everything that

it was but we're begging swans

you stay here let me know I've got a

malleus Maleficarum around here

somewhere

should help with the key go ahead yell

at me call me some names no names

not this time Jonathan that little boy

needs you but what he did

he's a child children make mistakes they

get in trouble that's why they're

children no this is not swiping a comic

book Florence this is I don't have a

choice here of course you do you could

stick it out no no when the going gets

tough you get going right for the exit

like how you ran away from your family

ran away

my dad threw me out what about your

little sister she looked up to you she

needed you and now she's gone and you're

going to abandon her only child look I

don't know how to take care of a kid how

to talk to him how to keep him safe

especially now I'm just you're scared

yes

all right I'm scared for Louis scared

he'll get hurt

well guess what genius that is the whole

point you having a child means being

scared for them 24/7 and doing it anyway

it's the whole damn job description and

I would give everything to have that job

again to have my little girl backed you

know what I do have a name for you

Jonathan barter belt you're a coward

I think I think in Sir Isaac desert

Lucy's dead he died last year

it's locked

it must be get away from the door don't

be ridiculous

stay away from her why should I stay

away from my beautiful wives

your screen isn't

she died whoever said I died said Bona

human he killed her to make some sort of

keys

I thought with me from not my bone no

that was a chunk from the real mrs.

Hammond lovely woman that is before I

killed her and took her place my wife

she has a talent for the stars I learned

from the best

hey come give your mommy I guess you

with you in my dreams I couldn't get

near that locked cabinet the charms were

too strong but you you could get that

nasty old book for me raise Isaac for me

you could do everything I wanted no you

are going to get us that clock tea

come on now you're just showing off yes

I think I know

masters of prestidigitation beloved by

the crown heads of Europe together again

I'm sure you'll remember my next trick

warms my dead heart please don't make me

butcher him give me the key you don't

have to hurt anyone just tell us where

is the clock the clock is under Alicia's

hex

you'll never find it this is over Isaac

please there must be some part of you

that doesn't want this that isn't

completely dead I was dead long before I

died we know you went through something

awful during the war we all did well on

the contrary it's where I met my teacher

are you not have been caught in an

ambush everyone is watered I've been

left for dead I stumbled through the

Black Forest for days I chanted every

spell I knew with one thought only make

me powerful enough to end this to erase

the Harz I had witnessed when I opened

my eyes I saw him he offered me

something to drink through a small price

of course

suddenly I had it the blueprints for the

clock in my mind

Tyra's day that wasn't a warlock it

wasn't even a human it was a demon

you're reckless idiot your son yes yes

Azazel to be exact the fourth Prince of

Hell oh he gave me a wonderful gift the

greatest magic trick ever I'm going to

make people disappear in the world back

until the dawn of time all that will be

left Selena and I but if you go back to

the beginning history humans it will all

you start over again no I'll make sure

people are never born this time with the

help of a friend Louis's parents won't

die in that awful crash your husband and

sweet little girl won't be killed

they'll never have existed no people no

war no Jonathan the key

performance that would be a good time

free magic of all people Florence I

thought you'd want this I know it losing

her family did to you

you're too sad and broken to work any

real magic maybe I was but now I mean

where are they

so should we just sit around and try to

figure out my giddy aunt don't worry the

teeth are made of pumpkin they can't

really hurt us

uncle Jonathan you've got to get out

you've got to get up are you looking at

your shriveled old prune I'm looking at

you dump baby orangutan mr. Spock

Lois you sorry Lois I'm sorry about

everything it's okay me too don't get me

wrong this is lovely but there's only 18

minutes to the Eclipse and they've got

the key how do we find the clock

we can't he's got a witch's hex on it

that means it's hidden from every witch

or warlock no matter how powerful not

even if Lawrence could find it there

must be something we're not thinking of

maybe I could find it I'm not a witch or

warlock well not not yet anyways but

maybe if I tried some magic that work

okay ready Luis I don't know about that

8-ball this is my magic not yours

let's go locate bar to discover the

exact place and position oh wow is weird

is made out tell me

under the boiler genius

shall we

is simmerman mm-hmm what is that

Jonathan open the door working on it

even a net so creepy

fleurs I really have to be

please I taught you everything you know

Jonathan I didn't teach you everything I

know

my

winter loose there may be trapped

I feel something

Thank You Jonathan

come with us to the tourists it's a

special can't any protect us I like you

Lewis I like being your mom

what should I do

the same goodbye say goodbye

my darling its beginning

the sands of time are shifting

is wrong

you did it it stopped the clock

do not tell Florence about the baby body

she'll never let me live it down no you

promise I swear no baby bunny more lot

secret never happened you're the best

you didn't toss me my trousers serious

well well well look what the cat threw

up

oh you fix makes beer Wow you stopped

the clock now I just wet my pants

literally Luis stop the clock

Louis you are indomitable you simmerman

I'm sorry you lost your family I'm sorry

you lost yours maybe but you want to be

a black swan with us could I be a purple

one

dealer I would like that very much

I don't want the creepy little Ron think

I want to you know what fellas I don't

really wanna play anyways

lucky shot Bruce reader right can I see

your book book I'm swimming with your

dictionary you know the word is insect

Wow cute Ruthie's she's a really good

you look like an insect I'm even as the

highest compliment that's how a ticket

who was that whore that's right a

Pottinger she's a friend she is is a

kissy face no protonic we're gonna play

the cool James Dean all of a sudden Oh

Jonathan

punch it see what this baby can do

you know Jonathan you drive like an old

grandma that's funny you look like one

guy stop you're both super old nice one

Lois

gold star