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1
00:00:01,797 --> 00:00:03,367
Who do you think he's talking to?
2
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:05,367
IRS. He's begging them to audit him.
3
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,196
No, no, no, he... he's leaving
himself a voicemail.
4
00:00:07,265 --> 00:00:09,699
"Hey, there, buddy. You're doing
a great job. Call me back."
5
00:00:09,758 --> 00:00:11,868
No, it's his ex-wife.
6
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,136
Look at him:
7
00:00:13,204 --> 00:00:15,631
that forehead crease,
those clenched butt cheeks.
8
00:00:15,701 --> 00:00:16,634
Mia, right?
9
00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,213
The schmancy pants human rights lawyer?
10
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,062
Yeah.
11
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,932
- Hello, ladies.
- What's up with Mia?
12
00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:22,879
- How did you...
- 'Cause I've been there.
13
00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:24,414
And your butt cheeks.
14
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,383
- So, what happened?
- It's not a big deal, just...
15
00:00:27,452 --> 00:00:29,819
Mia postponed her visit
to come see Sophie.
16
00:00:29,888 --> 00:00:31,334
- Yet again.
- Aww.
17
00:00:31,389 --> 00:00:32,600
It's gotten to the point
where I can't tell Sophie
18
00:00:32,663 --> 00:00:35,564
that her mom's coming to visit her
until like, literally the day before
19
00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,200
because Sophie gets so bummed
every time Mia flakes.
20
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,035
Not that that guts me every time...
21
00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:44,573
How are you processing the divorce?
22
00:00:44,642 --> 00:00:45,941
- Where are you on anger?
- Not great.
23
00:00:46,010 --> 00:00:47,576
- Uh-huh.
- Honestly.
24
00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:49,244
But she and I decided
it'd be best for Sophie
25
00:00:49,313 --> 00:00:50,979
if we always kept it really positive.
26
00:00:51,048 --> 00:00:52,581
And... And honestly, I'm not angry.
27
00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:53,615
Honestly. Honestly.
28
00:00:53,684 --> 00:00:54,717
- Honestly.
- Honestly?
29
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:56,151
- Honestly.
- Well, this is a disaster.
30
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:58,220
I just got stuck chaperoning
the field trip
31
00:00:58,289 --> 00:00:59,521
to the marionette theatre.
32
00:00:59,623 --> 00:01:00,923
- Ahhh.
- So fun!
33
00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:02,424
I'm terrified by those puppets,
34
00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:04,860
with the bobbing heads,
the herky-jerky limbs,
35
00:01:04,962 --> 00:01:06,428
the lifeless eyes.
36
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,763
Good God, man!
37
00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:09,131
Are you okay?
38
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,200
Jack was up all night again.
39
00:01:11,302 --> 00:01:12,634
What am I doing wrong?
40
00:01:12,737 --> 00:01:13,769
Well, what's your bedtime routine?
41
00:01:13,838 --> 00:01:15,871
- I give him a bath...
- Good.
42
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:17,639
...then we split a couple milkshakes,
43
00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:19,408
tease that stray dog that comes by,
44
00:01:19,477 --> 00:01:20,976
then he watches me dance
to a strobe light,
45
00:01:21,078 --> 00:01:22,478
and then I snuggle him all night.
46
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:24,747
Oh. My. God.
47
00:01:24,815 --> 00:01:26,815
You still haven't
sleep trained Baby Jack?
48
00:01:26,884 --> 00:01:28,217
Hold up!
49
00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,419
There's another thing
about babies I don't know?
50
00:01:30,488 --> 00:01:32,354
Look, sleep training is where
51
00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:35,090
you teach your child
how to sleep all on their own.
52
00:01:35,192 --> 00:01:36,325
You put them in the crib
53
00:01:36,427 --> 00:01:38,527
while they're still awake,
and you leave,
54
00:01:38,596 --> 00:01:39,862
and you do not pick that baby up,
55
00:01:39,964 --> 00:01:41,330
no matter how hard they cry.
56
00:01:41,398 --> 00:01:43,132
It's how they learn to self-soothe.
57
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:44,466
But you won't be soothed.
58
00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:48,637
Find your thumb, baby!
59
00:01:49,807 --> 00:01:51,406
You people are idiots.
60
00:01:51,475 --> 00:01:52,608
When Emma and Amy were babies,
61
00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:55,043
I would just yell
"Sleep!" and leave the room.
62
00:01:55,112 --> 00:01:56,278
It's about being tough.
63
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:57,446
That's why women are no good at it.
64
00:01:57,515 --> 00:01:59,148
- Okay, then.
- Excuse me?
65
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,349
What did you just say?
66
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,351
What? It's in your chromosomes.
67
00:02:02,419 --> 00:02:05,554
Women are, uh,
biologically unable to resist
68
00:02:05,623 --> 00:02:07,923
the sound of a baby's cries.
69
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:09,591
You were born to nurture.
70
00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:11,059
That's why God gave you two pillows.
71
00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:13,262
Wow. Okay.
72
00:02:13,364 --> 00:02:14,329
You know what?
73
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:15,631
Just to prove to you that,
74
00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:19,334
Gasp!, a woman can get
a wittle baby down,
75
00:02:19,403 --> 00:02:22,538
I bet I can sleep train
Baby Jack in one night.
76
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,006
Ooh.
77
00:02:24,074 --> 00:02:25,808
Oh, now, this is getting interesting.
78
00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:26,809
What's in it for me?
79
00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:27,976
If I can't...
80
00:02:29,146 --> 00:02:30,479
...I...
81
00:02:30,548 --> 00:02:32,714
will chaperone the marionette theatre.
82
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:34,116
- Oooh!
- Puppetry is so dope.
83
00:02:34,218 --> 00:02:36,852
- Don't say "dope."
- But if I can...
84
00:02:36,921 --> 00:02:38,620
I get ten minutes alone
in the sample closet
85
00:02:38,689 --> 00:02:40,022
at your dermatology office.
86
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,623
Ahh, The Closet of Youth?
87
00:02:41,692 --> 00:02:43,458
Who do you think you are? Jenny Aniston?
88
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,494
I'll tell you what... you're on.
89
00:02:45,563 --> 00:02:47,763
I'm gonna put that baby down
so hard, he never wakes up!
90
00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:48,797
- Angie!
- That's a lot.
91
00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:52,534
- Oh, that's even too far for me.
- Not like that! Sorry, Miggy.
92
00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:53,669
Miggy?
93
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:59,169
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
94
00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:03,287
Make yourself at home, homey.
95
00:03:03,312 --> 00:03:05,679
Are you sure you're up for
watching the big kids at my place?
96
00:03:05,781 --> 00:03:07,614
I mean, you've never watched
all of them at the same time,
97
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,577
and...
98
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,384
...Graham can be...
99
00:03:11,486 --> 00:03:12,786
a little emotional.
100
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:15,088
I-I-I never know if it's
because he's being bullied
101
00:03:15,190 --> 00:03:17,123
or if he's just crying
over a soup commercial.
102
00:03:17,225 --> 00:03:19,392
Listen, I know you guys
think I'm some dummy
103
00:03:19,494 --> 00:03:21,094
who can't even
sleep train his own baby...
104
00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:22,329
No, we don't!
105
00:03:22,431 --> 00:03:24,064
- Mm.
- Fine, we do.
106
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:26,599
But, hey, we also think
you can't do other things.
107
00:03:26,702 --> 00:03:28,001
Look, I got it.
108
00:03:28,103 --> 00:03:29,636
Matter of fact, I have a whole plan
109
00:03:29,738 --> 00:03:32,472
that'll change the face
of babysitting forever.
110
00:03:32,574 --> 00:03:33,940
Check this:
111
00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:36,242
Pizza. And. A. Movie.
112
00:03:36,345 --> 00:03:38,178
What?
113
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,446
- You cracked it.
- Word.
114
00:03:39,548 --> 00:03:41,214
Oh, snap.
115
00:03:41,316 --> 00:03:42,849
Okay, you have one minute
before this baby
116
00:03:42,951 --> 00:03:44,784
starts screaming
for the next fifteen hours.
117
00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,553
Bye, Jack!
118
00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:50,490
Oh!
119
00:03:50,592 --> 00:03:51,558
You're forgetting Graham.
120
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:53,226
Oh. Oops.
121
00:03:53,328 --> 00:03:54,894
It'll be easier to keep track of
them when there's more of them.
122
00:03:54,997 --> 00:03:56,062
- Makes sense.
- Yeah.
123
00:03:56,164 --> 00:03:57,430
- G-Money, let's go.
- Bye, Mom.
124
00:03:57,532 --> 00:04:00,166
Good luck with whatever it is
you're trying to prove.
125
00:04:01,136 --> 00:04:03,403
All right, you little goober. Let's do this.
126
00:04:03,505 --> 00:04:05,071
Listen, you,
127
00:04:05,173 --> 00:04:08,908
you're about to have
a really bad night, okay?
128
00:04:09,011 --> 00:04:11,311
But just know whatever happens,
129
00:04:11,413 --> 00:04:12,846
I'm right outside that door,
130
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,381
doing the People Magazine
crossword puzzle
131
00:04:14,483 --> 00:04:16,282
because other crosswords
are too hard for me.
132
00:04:17,319 --> 00:04:19,652
God, you're a weirdly cute baby.
133
00:04:19,755 --> 00:04:21,888
I don't like it. I don't trust it.
134
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,890
I'm not gonna pick you up.
135
00:04:25,794 --> 00:04:27,227
Night, chubster.
136
00:04:27,329 --> 00:04:28,228
See you in hell.
137
00:04:29,664 --> 00:04:32,365
Poppy, a surprise visit
and a beau blanc. Why?
138
00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:33,900
One of the perks of owning a wine store
139
00:04:34,002 --> 00:04:35,635
is getting my friends drunk wholesale.
140
00:04:35,737 --> 00:04:37,504
That's so nice. That's so... it's so...
141
00:04:37,606 --> 00:04:40,006
Uh, now's not a good time for me.
142
00:04:40,075 --> 00:04:42,175
Yeah, I just, um...
I'm just doing some...
143
00:04:42,277 --> 00:04:44,377
There's an adult party in that room!
144
00:04:44,446 --> 00:04:45,945
And I know you're not
asking for specifics,
145
00:04:46,014 --> 00:04:48,481
but it is very sexual
and it is very safe...
146
00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:50,283
Oh, Will, what is this?!
147
00:04:50,385 --> 00:04:51,851
My baking...
148
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,219
It's just a little banana bread!
149
00:04:53,288 --> 00:04:55,055
A couple loaves. Ten, fifteen.
150
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:57,424
- It's like forty!
- It's exactly forty. Good eye.
151
00:04:57,492 --> 00:05:00,527
Will, please tell me that you
have drugs or something in these
152
00:05:00,629 --> 00:05:03,663
because that would be less crazy
than what I'm looking at.
153
00:05:03,732 --> 00:05:05,732
Nope. No drugs.
154
00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:07,500
Will.
155
00:05:07,602 --> 00:05:09,402
William.
156
00:05:09,504 --> 00:05:10,437
- Billy.
- I'm fine!
157
00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:12,138
I'm not crazy, okay? Ju...
158
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,773
Things... get tough with Mia
159
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,708
and... I do some baking.
160
00:05:15,777 --> 00:05:18,912
Look, after my divorce, I was angry.
161
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,414
I'm talking
Beyoncé-circa- "Lemonade" angry.
162
00:05:21,516 --> 00:05:23,083
- No...
- Yes.
163
00:05:23,185 --> 00:05:24,551
But I worked through that.
164
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:27,387
And working through that made
me the woman that I am today...
165
00:05:27,489 --> 00:05:29,856
Beyoncé-circa- "Everything is Love".
166
00:05:29,925 --> 00:05:32,025
God, I wanna be Beyoncé-circa-
"Everything is Love".
167
00:05:32,127 --> 00:05:33,159
We all do.
168
00:05:33,261 --> 00:05:34,160
How did you do it?
169
00:05:35,831 --> 00:05:36,896
- Volleyball?
- Mm-hmm.
170
00:05:37,966 --> 00:05:39,666
I'm sor... Really? Volleyball?
171
00:05:39,768 --> 00:05:41,034
Look, I tried everything:
172
00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:42,602
woodworking, snorkeling,
173
00:05:42,704 --> 00:05:45,271
screaming really loud into a jug.
174
00:05:45,373 --> 00:05:46,473
And then, one day,
175
00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:48,575
I picked up Rory from
a ribbon dancing class
176
00:05:48,677 --> 00:05:51,177
at the rec center, and there it was...
177
00:05:51,246 --> 00:05:52,512
volleyball.
178
00:05:53,748 --> 00:05:55,348
I'd found my home. My people...
179
00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:57,083
Oh, no!
180
00:05:57,185 --> 00:05:58,409
Poppy?
181
00:05:59,229 --> 00:06:00,320
Co... Relax, Gerald!
182
00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:02,689
I'm just here to support
my friend, Will.
183
00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:05,291
Lookin' strong, Cassidy.
184
00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:07,694
Are you sure it's okay we're here?
185
00:06:07,762 --> 00:06:09,028
Um, it's a legal grey area.
186
00:06:09,097 --> 00:06:11,498
But let's get that anger out! Hmm?
187
00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:13,833
Yo, pizza!
188
00:06:13,902 --> 00:06:14,934
No one saw it coming,
189
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:17,604
but the game has changed, y'all.
190
00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,038
But we always have...
191
00:06:19,141 --> 00:06:21,107
Shhh. Just let him have this.
192
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:24,377
Hey. What's up, Insta-Graham?
193
00:06:24,446 --> 00:06:26,446
Something happened at school.
194
00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:32,485
Sometimes, life is so beautiful.
195
00:06:36,024 --> 00:06:39,058
Everybody's been calling me
"Butterfly Baby."
196
00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:41,661
Even Bunny Ears,
and she's my girlfriend.
197
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:42,665
That's cold-blooded.
198
00:06:42,731 --> 00:06:45,098
I keep telling you: just move.
199
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,033
Huh. Zillow says Boise's hot.
200
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,968
I don't make sense in Idaho.
201
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:51,638
Okay, guys, guys,
let's just eat our slices
202
00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:53,373
so we can fire up Child's Play.
203
00:06:53,441 --> 00:06:55,808
I haven't seen it, but it's
about a kid and his doll.
204
00:06:55,911 --> 00:06:57,010
Sounds sweet.
205
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,412
- Yeah, we're not doing that tonight.
- Huh?
206
00:06:59,514 --> 00:07:01,648
We invited Bunny Ears over for a party
207
00:07:01,716 --> 00:07:03,249
so Graham seems cool again.
208
00:07:03,318 --> 00:07:04,684
- You did what?!
- What did you do?!
209
00:07:04,753 --> 00:07:07,020
Miggy, you're basically our age.
210
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,122
We like you, but we don't respect you.
211
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:10,590
Enjoy the party, kiddo.
212
00:07:10,692 --> 00:07:12,258
Ah!
213
00:07:15,764 --> 00:07:17,730
I left something on the stove.
214
00:07:22,437 --> 00:07:24,871
Please, please stop crying, baby!
215
00:07:24,973 --> 00:07:27,740
Being sad at night is just
part of the human experience.
216
00:07:27,842 --> 00:07:28,808
Get used to it.
217
00:07:29,911 --> 00:07:30,810
Maybe I should just...
218
00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:31,978
Nope! No, I'm not.
219
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,846
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
220
00:07:35,317 --> 00:07:36,849
Ohhhh, yes.
221
00:07:36,952 --> 00:07:38,785
Oh! That's the good stuff.
222
00:07:40,222 --> 00:07:44,157
Ooooh, looks like Mommy Angie's
Postmates is here...
223
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,560
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
224
00:07:47,662 --> 00:07:49,128
I knew it!
225
00:07:49,231 --> 00:07:50,363
Oh, guess what?
226
00:07:50,465 --> 00:07:52,498
I heard that the marionette show
227
00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:54,367
is circus-themed!
228
00:07:54,469 --> 00:07:56,002
You know what that means?
229
00:07:56,104 --> 00:07:57,503
Puppet clowns!
230
00:08:01,198 --> 00:08:03,127
Miggy's place is
even worse than I thought.
231
00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:04,814
How do people live like this?
232
00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:07,715
No! The bet was for
one night, not one try!
233
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,823
I get another shot!
234
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,079
Oh, just give it up now.
235
00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:11,347
It's nothing to be ashamed about.
236
00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:12,872
Women are just softer creatures.
237
00:08:12,942 --> 00:08:15,175
No! I can do this!
238
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,677
T-That was just my warm-up.
239
00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:17,945
I-I'm out of practice.
240
00:08:18,047 --> 00:08:19,313
Here.
241
00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:20,914
I'm gonna go outside, get hyped up,
242
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,350
try to catch a squirrel
with my bare hands!
243
00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:27,398
I'm sorry.
244
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,923
I've... I've forgotten your name.
245
00:08:31,627 --> 00:08:34,094
I'm Dr. Douglas Fogerty.
246
00:08:34,163 --> 00:08:36,563
All right, Will, so, you're
just gonna hit the ball
247
00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:38,966
- and talk to me about your ex, okay?
- Okay.
248
00:08:39,068 --> 00:08:40,868
How often does she see Sophie?
249
00:08:41,837 --> 00:08:44,037
Well, Mia's doing very important work!
250
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,839
So, it's not her fault!
251
00:08:45,908 --> 00:08:47,307
But last year,
252
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:49,576
she didn't see Sophie for six months.
253
00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:50,844
Was that hard for you?
254
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:52,946
A little.
255
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:54,514
Spike the ball.
256
00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,550
Go ahead. You got this.
257
00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:57,784
Yeah.
258
00:08:57,853 --> 00:08:59,853
What else about Mia?
259
00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:01,922
But then, sometimes,
she'll show up without warning.
260
00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:04,057
Like once, Sophie and I had to cancel
261
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,793
our wild and crazy spring break
trip to Colonial Williamsburg.
262
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,128
And I bet you planned it
for a long time?
263
00:09:08,197 --> 00:09:10,597
I thought of it when she was three.
264
00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:12,165
- Oh, and then last year...
- What happened?!
265
00:09:12,234 --> 00:09:14,067
...she switched up the holiday
schedule at the last minute!
266
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:15,636
Come on, I bet you just loved that!
267
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:16,637
Do you know what it was like,
268
00:09:16,705 --> 00:09:18,772
eating a 12-pound turkey by myself?!
269
00:09:18,874 --> 00:09:20,707
It was extremely sad, Poppy!
270
00:09:20,809 --> 00:09:21,875
Extremely sad!
271
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:23,777
- Aah! Yes!
- Okay!
272
00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:25,045
Yes! Okay!
273
00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:26,346
- I get it now! Let's do this!
- Hey!
274
00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:27,547
How we do this, shirts versus skins?!
275
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,216
No, no, no, no, no, no!
It's... It's... It's day one.
276
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,317
Can't stop now, Poppy.
277
00:09:30,386 --> 00:09:31,318
You have any idea how long it's been
278
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:32,753
since I've had this big a release?
279
00:09:32,821 --> 00:09:33,921
- Hey. Will Cooper.
- Yeah, Will, everybody knows
280
00:09:33,989 --> 00:09:35,389
how long it's been
since you've had a big release.
281
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,957
But take it easy, okay?
282
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:38,325
Hey...
283
00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:39,860
it's me, Willy C.
284
00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:41,094
Hey. Will Cooper. How are ya?
285
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,296
How's it going? Will Cooper.
286
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,830
Hey, what's going on, guys? How are you?
287
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,232
- Let's have a good, clean game, okay?
- All right, dude.
288
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,366
All right, don't take it easy
on me just 'cause I'm new.
289
00:09:46,468 --> 00:09:47,834
Will, your shirt's on backwards.
290
00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:49,069
Let's volley!
291
00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:02,115
Dude, you heard me promise your
mom I could handle babysitting.
292
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,717
You gotta tell those girls to go home.
293
00:10:03,819 --> 00:10:04,685
Dude, no!
294
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:06,353
If I cancel the party,
295
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:09,056
I'll seem even less cool
than I do right now.
296
00:10:09,158 --> 00:10:10,590
Can I be honest with you?
297
00:10:10,659 --> 00:10:11,558
Kid to kid?
298
00:10:11,627 --> 00:10:13,460
I am not a k...
299
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,963
Sure, go ahead.
300
00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:17,364
I thought things would be different
301
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:19,266
when I got a girlfriend,
302
00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:22,102
but I-I'm still the boy
who runs and hides
303
00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:23,637
every time the school janitor
304
00:10:23,739 --> 00:10:25,439
comes up from the basement.
305
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:27,674
- Miggy?
- Yeah?
306
00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:29,042
You're the coolest guy I know.
307
00:10:29,144 --> 00:10:30,610
Oh, it was just pizza.
308
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,714
Can you help me be
a little bit more like you?
309
00:10:33,816 --> 00:10:36,683
You know, get that swag?
310
00:10:36,785 --> 00:10:37,751
Oh?
311
00:10:39,288 --> 00:10:40,620
How much swag we talking about?
312
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,788
How much swag can you give me?
313
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:42,990
How much swag can you handle?
314
00:10:43,092 --> 00:10:44,291
How much swag do girls like?
315
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,759
Oh, the girls like all the swag.
316
00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:48,295
Then I need all the swag, Miggy!
317
00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:49,730
I got you, Graham!
318
00:10:50,699 --> 00:10:52,399
Unh!
319
00:10:56,505 --> 00:10:58,205
I recently read a group of rabbits
320
00:10:58,307 --> 00:10:59,740
is called a warren.
321
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:02,776
Tough crowd.
322
00:11:02,878 --> 00:11:05,679
Yo. Bunny Ears.
323
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,749
Cool.
324
00:11:08,817 --> 00:11:10,484
What's the juice box sitch?
325
00:11:13,355 --> 00:11:15,355
You tell me, shorty.
326
00:11:19,061 --> 00:11:20,560
Woo!
327
00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:23,296
Ugh, I just went full raccoon
on the neighbor's trash.
328
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:26,633
Better wash my hands
before I hold Baby Jack...
329
00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:27,734
wait, where is he?
330
00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:29,336
He's in his room.
331
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,537
Asleep.
332
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,638
No, you didn't.
333
00:11:31,707 --> 00:11:33,673
I've outsmarted yet another baby.
334
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:34,941
But... I... How did you...
335
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:37,077
I-I was only gone for a few minutes!
336
00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:39,212
You really just went in there,
said "sleep"
337
00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:40,480
and then walked out?
338
00:11:40,549 --> 00:11:42,282
I told you. Men have cold hearts.
339
00:11:42,384 --> 00:11:43,784
We're terrible people.
340
00:11:43,852 --> 00:11:45,185
That's why we're very good at war,
341
00:11:45,254 --> 00:11:46,987
advertising, and sleep training.
342
00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:49,122
L-Look, don't beat yourself up here.
343
00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:50,223
You're a softie,
344
00:11:50,325 --> 00:11:51,925
just like that sweet kid of yours.
345
00:11:56,899 --> 00:11:57,831
What did you just say?
346
00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:59,766
I-I... No, you know what I mean.
347
00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:02,569
Y-Y-You and Graham are...
348
00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:04,171
sof-softies.
349
00:12:04,239 --> 00:12:05,705
Look, i-it's not his fault.
350
00:12:05,774 --> 00:12:07,274
He-He's being raised by a lady,
351
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:10,377
he doesn't know anything else,
was my... point.
352
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,546
This just got real.
353
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,980
A-A-Alright, l-listen.
354
00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:15,082
Calm down, okay?
355
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:16,349
I shouldn't
have brought the kid into it!
356
00:12:16,418 --> 00:12:18,585
Have fun with the marionettes!
357
00:12:18,687 --> 00:12:19,886
No, wait... i-it's over.
358
00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:21,388
I w-won. The kid's asleep.
359
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,689
Angie?!
360
00:12:22,758 --> 00:12:24,791
Angie?! You don't wake a sleeping baby!
361
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:26,760
That's one thing
everyone on the Earth knows.
362
00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:29,062
I... got this.
363
00:12:29,131 --> 00:12:30,097
Okay, you know what? Fine.
364
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:31,531
You're on your own.
365
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,899
Oh, no, Baby Jack!
366
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:34,568
I accidently woke you up!
367
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:38,805
Hey!
368
00:12:38,874 --> 00:12:41,141
I didn't realize you were
on a strict spike diet.
369
00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:42,509
'Cause you just ate my spike!
370
00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:45,178
- All right, hey, hey, Willy C.
- Hey.
371
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,580
Hey, maybe one game...
372
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,215
ooh, is enough, huh?
373
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:49,416
No way, José!
374
00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:51,551
- I haven't felt this good in years.
- Okay.
375
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:53,398
Look, my calves are popping.
376
00:12:53,453 --> 00:12:54,688
- Poppin'.
- You sure you don't want to come in?
377
00:12:54,756 --> 00:12:56,790
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm done with all that.
378
00:12:56,892 --> 00:12:58,825
I am done with rage.
379
00:12:58,894 --> 00:13:01,128
Yeah, I-I just think of Ron
as a medium-good friend
380
00:13:01,196 --> 00:13:02,662
who has a striking resemblance to Rory.
381
00:13:02,731 --> 00:13:05,065
Ha! God, I wish I was like you and Ron!
382
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:08,368
If my ex got Sophie a phone,
I'd be furious.
383
00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:10,704
Uh, w-w-what are you...
what are you talking about?
384
00:13:10,806 --> 00:13:12,172
You didn't know?
385
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:15,008
I-I'm sorry. Sophie's been
talking about it all week.
386
00:13:15,077 --> 00:13:16,643
Ron bought Rory a phone.
387
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,546
In fact, Rory just texted me
my Zillow Zestimate,
388
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:21,915
and I'm up 3%!
389
00:13:21,984 --> 00:13:23,683
Ron got Rory a phone?!
390
00:13:23,752 --> 00:13:24,985
I'm so sorry. I thought you knew.
391
00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:26,720
Is there anything I can do?
Are you okay?
392
00:13:26,788 --> 00:13:28,388
Nope, but I'm gonna be. Ball!
393
00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:09,396
Out!
394
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,198
- In! That was in!
- What?! Are you blind?!
395
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:12,789
We can't go down this road again, Poppy.
396
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:14,883
- But we are!
- You're already on the path, Gerald!
397
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,524
- Let's just get back in the game, okay?
- Call it in!
398
00:14:16,602 --> 00:14:18,438
Hey! Hey, Gerald! What's black and white
399
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:20,073
and doesn't know how to ref volleyball?
400
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:21,074
- Gerald!
- Gerald!
401
00:14:21,176 --> 00:14:22,573
Please, this is a volunteer thing.
402
00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:24,144
- Get down from that chair!
- If you don't... then we'll bring you down!
403
00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:26,221
- No, don't.
- Then we'll bring you down, Gerald, huh?!
404
00:14:26,292 --> 00:14:28,237
- Whoo-oo!
- You disrespect us, we disrespect you!
405
00:14:28,322 --> 00:14:29,764
- Yes! Take that!
- You're gonna eat net, Gerald!
406
00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:30,784
Take that!
407
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,285
Eat rope!
408
00:14:32,419 --> 00:14:34,920
Enough with the crying.
409
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:39,159
Hey! Sleep, baby!
410
00:14:39,261 --> 00:14:40,527
Wait.
411
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,862
Let's just see how Uncle Douglas did it.
412
00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:48,643
♪ Danke schoen ♪
413
00:14:48,737 --> 00:14:52,739
- ♪ Darling, danke schoen ♪
- He picked him up?!
414
00:14:52,841 --> 00:14:55,190
- ♪ Thank you... ♪
- That monster.
415
00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:00,741
Dude.
416
00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:01,934
Dude.
417
00:15:01,997 --> 00:15:03,530
I think it's safe to say
418
00:15:03,599 --> 00:15:05,832
that this night got away from me.
419
00:15:05,901 --> 00:15:07,401
You having fun at least?
420
00:15:07,469 --> 00:15:09,836
No, not really. Who am I kidding?
421
00:15:09,905 --> 00:15:12,839
I don't have the head shape
to pull off this hat.
422
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,785
I guess when it comes down to it,
423
00:15:14,854 --> 00:15:17,655
the two of us can only be
the dudes that we are.
424
00:15:17,757 --> 00:15:18,923
Right.
425
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:20,791
You're a terrible babysitter...
426
00:15:22,395 --> 00:15:25,029
...and I'm a complicated young man.
427
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,164
And if people don't dig
what you're selling,
428
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,734
they're not worth having around anyway.
You know what I mean?
429
00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:30,735
Yeah.
430
00:15:32,572 --> 00:15:35,239
Graham, what is this?
431
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:37,541
Please tell me it isn't yours?
432
00:15:41,814 --> 00:15:43,114
Yes, it belongs to me.
433
00:15:43,182 --> 00:15:45,549
Graham. No. You're going
to have to live abroad.
434
00:15:45,652 --> 00:15:47,051
It's okay, Rory.
435
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:51,956
The lion is mine,
and his name is Mr. Roar,
436
00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:54,458
and he hunts and eats bad dreams
437
00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:57,428
and yes, I do find
butterflies beautiful!
438
00:15:57,497 --> 00:16:01,098
And if that makes me
a Butterfly Baby, fine,
439
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:05,336
but this Butterfly Baby
wants you out of his house!
440
00:16:05,438 --> 00:16:07,505
It's over!
441
00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:11,008
I. Have. Never.
442
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:13,344
Come on, Bunnies.
443
00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:16,080
I'm proud of you, Graham Master Flash.
444
00:16:16,182 --> 00:16:17,548
Unh!
445
00:16:17,617 --> 00:16:20,551
Wait! Those girls can't leave
on their own! They're seven!
446
00:16:20,586 --> 00:16:23,826
A fifth wife is a special person,
447
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,456
- and I...
- You cheater!
448
00:16:27,193 --> 00:16:28,125
Angie?!
449
00:16:28,227 --> 00:16:29,794
Hiya, Douglas!
450
00:16:29,862 --> 00:16:32,196
I saw you pick him up on the monitor.
451
00:16:32,298 --> 00:16:34,632
You... lied.
452
00:16:34,734 --> 00:16:37,101
Is anything about you real?
453
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:38,869
Is this even steak?
454
00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:41,572
Mmm! Oh, boy, is it ever!
455
00:16:41,641 --> 00:16:44,008
M-May we speak privately, please?
456
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:44,842
Here.
457
00:16:44,911 --> 00:16:46,644
If he cries,
458
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:49,246
don't be afraid to do skin to skin.
459
00:16:51,384 --> 00:16:53,684
You picked him up!
460
00:16:53,786 --> 00:16:54,719
Ha ha ha ha!
461
00:16:54,787 --> 00:16:57,354
I just yell "Sleep," my ass!
462
00:16:57,423 --> 00:16:59,824
You're just like me!
A big, old sack of goo!
463
00:16:59,926 --> 00:17:02,727
- O-Okay! Fine! Fine!
- Why did you go out of your way
464
00:17:02,795 --> 00:17:04,762
to make me feel bad
about my parenting skills?
465
00:17:04,831 --> 00:17:07,898
Because I didn't want you
to know that I'm weak, too.
466
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,034
I'm soft as summer butter.
467
00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:12,837
I wanted to be tough on the
girls, but I was outnumbered.
468
00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:14,638
Do you understand? I-I...
469
00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:15,773
One time...
470
00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:18,476
...I breastfed them.
471
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:25,316
Neither one of us
472
00:17:25,384 --> 00:17:27,885
are as tough as we want people to think.
473
00:17:27,987 --> 00:17:30,187
But I can keep the secret if you can.
474
00:17:31,324 --> 00:17:32,990
Then I have a confession to make.
475
00:17:33,059 --> 00:17:35,092
You're attracted to me.
I know. It's the height.
476
00:17:35,194 --> 00:17:36,761
It's... It's very primal.
477
00:17:36,863 --> 00:17:39,163
I think you're right about Graham.
478
00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:40,431
I think I messed him up.
479
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,333
- Oh, come on.
- No, it's true.
480
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:46,103
I was young and alone and tired,
481
00:17:46,205 --> 00:17:48,272
and I did all the things that
you're not supposed to do.
482
00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:50,708
I picked him up. I snuggled him.
And now look at him.
483
00:17:50,777 --> 00:17:54,011
He's... a 4-foot-tall mush ball.
484
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,382
Hey. Your kid is amazing and sensitive,
485
00:17:58,451 --> 00:18:01,218
and makes me a card every time
I get a kidney stone.
486
00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,920
Plus, you wanna know the truth?
487
00:18:02,989 --> 00:18:05,756
We would like to think that
there is some direct line
488
00:18:05,858 --> 00:18:09,059
between what we do
and how our kids turn out.
489
00:18:09,162 --> 00:18:11,762
But you know what? It's a crapshoot.
490
00:18:11,831 --> 00:18:15,633
We do what we can,
and who they end up becoming...
491
00:18:15,735 --> 00:18:17,201
it's up to them.
492
00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:19,537
Wait. So, you're telling me
that I can do
493
00:18:19,605 --> 00:18:22,406
whatever I want as a parent and
it doesn't matter whatsoever?
494
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,408
Not exactly the takeaway
I was hoping for,
495
00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:26,944
but whatever makes you feel better.
496
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,679
Well, in that case,
497
00:18:28,748 --> 00:18:31,048
I'm gonna need you to show me something.
498
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,584
♪ Danke schoen ♪
499
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,986
♪ Darling, danke schoen ♪
500
00:18:36,055 --> 00:18:37,755
O-O-Okay, deeper and lower.
501
00:18:37,824 --> 00:18:39,423
♪ Danke schoen ♪
502
00:18:39,525 --> 00:18:41,959
- ♪ Darling, danke schoen ♪
- Oh, you're hopeless.
503
00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:47,031
♪ Thank you for all the joy and pain ♪
504
00:18:47,099 --> 00:18:48,599
Sway. Try not to bob.
505
00:18:48,668 --> 00:18:49,900
Huh.
506
00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:52,403
I think I'm gonna have to write
Gerald an apology letter.
507
00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:54,471
Good idea... but take your time.
508
00:18:54,574 --> 00:18:56,574
He's... not gonna be able
to read for a few weeks.
509
00:18:56,676 --> 00:18:57,708
Ugh.
510
00:18:58,644 --> 00:18:59,977
Okay, just, uh, wait, wait, wait.
511
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:02,346
I just need a second.
512
00:19:02,448 --> 00:19:04,915
- This is the toughest part.
- Yeah.
513
00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,851
You have to let the anger out,
514
00:19:06,919 --> 00:19:09,353
- but you can't let your kid see any of it.
- Yeah.
515
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:11,822
I mean, I thought I was past all this.
516
00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:14,758
Hey, man, co-parenting
is tough business.
517
00:19:14,861 --> 00:19:17,027
Normally, when you break up
with someone, it's over,
518
00:19:17,129 --> 00:19:20,564
but we will be connected to Ron and Mia
519
00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:21,799
for the rest of our lives.
520
00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:23,133
I know.
521
00:19:23,236 --> 00:19:24,802
But... I don't hate him completely.
522
00:19:24,904 --> 00:19:27,137
There were some good things
about the marriage.
523
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,607
- Mom!
- Dad!
524
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,609
Hi, buddy!
525
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,844
I missed you! Ohhh!
526
00:19:33,946 --> 00:19:35,318
- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.
527
00:19:36,401 --> 00:19:39,035
♪
528
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,234
I cried at school today.
529
00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:48,011
Oh, buddy, I'm sorry.
530
00:19:48,298 --> 00:19:51,114
Then Bunny Ears teased me.
531
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:53,083
So I dumped her.
532
00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:55,252
I don't need that noise.
533
00:19:57,389 --> 00:19:59,343
Daaaaaaamn!
534
00:19:59,591 --> 00:20:01,024
Nice work.
535
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:03,560
♪ Danke schoen ♪
536
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:07,831
♪ Darling, danke schoen ♪
537
00:20:07,933 --> 00:20:14,070
♪ Thank you for all the joy and pain ♪
538
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:17,274
♪ Picture show ♪
539
00:20:17,376 --> 00:20:20,410
♪ Second balcony ♪
540
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,049
♪ Was the place we'd meet ♪
541
00:20:23,111 --> 00:20:24,135
♪ Second seat ♪
542
00:20:26,251 --> 00:20:28,551
And he's just, "Pshhhhh!"
543
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,392
And I said, "Don't mess with me 'cause
544
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:32,555
I'm the best volleyball player of all time!"
545
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:37,594
♪ Auf Wiedersehen ♪
546
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:41,232
♪ Danke schoen ♪
547
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,268
I also threw a rager tonight!
548
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:46,643
What?!
549
00:20:46,717 --> 00:20:48,738
Does anyone here like puppets?!
550
00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:52,309
Not all at once, kids. Geez!
551
00:20:52,411 --> 00:20:54,444
"Don't come near me with that.
I'm allergic."
552
00:20:56,648 --> 00:20:58,734
"Bring on the elephants!"
553
00:20:58,781 --> 00:21:03,481
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
39155
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