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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,358 --> 00:00:06,439 Gah! Now? 2 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:09,148 You want to know what happened last week now? 3 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,481 Jesus, what are you, on drugs? 4 00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:13,731 Fuck, oh... ow, okay. 5 00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,814 I'll tell you what happened last week. 6 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:19,272 Call me a fucking lawyer, that's what happened last week! 7 00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:21,231 Okay? You got that? 8 00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,397 You're making a big mistake! 9 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,314 You're looking at the future site 10 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,350 of Sunset Brooks Senior Care, phase two. 11 00:00:27,353 --> 00:00:28,856 Is this the thing Whitford sucked you into? 12 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:30,397 Whitford didn't suck me into anything. 13 00:00:30,399 --> 00:00:32,397 I invested in a limited partnership. 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,065 Ah, so you can only lose all your investment, 15 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,190 - which was how much again? - $100,000. 16 00:00:37,192 --> 00:00:39,272 Why do you have two phones? 17 00:00:39,274 --> 00:00:41,940 It's for my mother. It's an international phone. 18 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,898 Your mother's Patty? 19 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,773 - Patricia, yeah. - Bullshit. 20 00:00:45,775 --> 00:00:46,956 You don't believe me? 21 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,592 You want me to call her? 22 00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:50,772 Hey, looking for Vicodin? 23 00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:52,356 Always. 24 00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:54,190 Undo this belt, and I'll... I'll get it. 25 00:00:54,193 --> 00:00:56,097 No, I don't think I should do that. 26 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,272 Oh, come on. 27 00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,439 You think I could actually get out of here? 28 00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:02,940 Oh, God! 29 00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:06,356 Say you're sorry, Timmy! 30 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:07,815 Say you're sorry! 31 00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:15,481 I set fire to a van, 32 00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:16,772 and in doing so, I turned 33 00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,648 what I intended to be a movement of love 34 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,014 into a movement of anger. 35 00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:22,019 I was crazy to let it go as far as I did. 36 00:01:22,022 --> 00:01:23,356 Truth is, I am bipolar. 37 00:01:23,358 --> 00:01:25,433 I plead not guilty by reason of insanity. 38 00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:27,106 What? 39 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,456 Order! Order! 40 00:01:40,822 --> 00:01:45,438 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 41 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,940 Hey. What you doing up there? 42 00:02:58,943 --> 00:03:00,951 Putting away my stuff till I get back. 43 00:03:00,954 --> 00:03:02,564 Hand me those bags. 44 00:03:02,566 --> 00:03:04,481 You decide what you want to do today yet? 45 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:05,998 I could call in sick from work. 46 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:07,939 Well, I don't think I want to do anything. 47 00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:09,511 Ah, come on, we got to do something. 48 00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:10,761 It's your last day of freedom. 49 00:03:10,764 --> 00:03:12,356 Nah, I think I just want to 50 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,940 hang at the house. 51 00:03:13,942 --> 00:03:15,522 You heading into the shop today? 52 00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:17,272 I got a job as a sober companion 53 00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:18,606 for the next couple hours. 54 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:19,764 Hey, uh, how about we ride 55 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,217 the El up to Wrigley when I get back? 56 00:03:21,219 --> 00:03:22,725 Beat the shit out of some Cubs fans? 57 00:03:22,728 --> 00:03:25,105 Yeah, I don't need more time added to my sentence. 58 00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:26,951 What's a sober companion? 59 00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:28,990 I'm babysitting some rich lush, 60 00:03:28,993 --> 00:03:30,592 making sure they don't drink. 61 00:03:30,595 --> 00:03:35,093 Anybody who can't stop drinking on his own is a pussy. 62 00:03:35,096 --> 00:03:37,190 We could take you to a gay bar and get you laid. 63 00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:39,231 Pretty sure I'll get laid a lot in prison. 64 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:40,983 Yo, what are we doing today? 65 00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:42,534 My new lady and I are supposed to go 66 00:03:42,537 --> 00:03:44,358 work out, but I could cancel it. 67 00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:45,601 He doesn't want to do anything. 68 00:03:45,603 --> 00:03:47,193 What? You don't want to steal a car, 69 00:03:47,196 --> 00:03:49,694 or drop bowling balls off a freeway? 70 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:53,355 I'm good. 71 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,439 Liam, get your ass up. Need help. 72 00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:58,356 What's up, Frank? 73 00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:59,731 Met a woman. 74 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,481 Crazy as a loon, 75 00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:03,106 made my heart stir 76 00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:04,787 and my loins moist. 77 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:05,814 Ew. 78 00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,689 She's on a 72-hour 79 00:04:07,691 --> 00:04:09,231 eval at the psych ward. 80 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,397 Her name is Ingrid Jones. 81 00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:13,439 Want your opinion of her. 82 00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:15,272 - Why me? - 'Cause, 83 00:04:15,274 --> 00:04:17,898 you're the only little kid left who still needs a mommy. 84 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,564 Rest of them are already cooked. 85 00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:21,231 Can't. Gotta hang with Ian. 86 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,564 Seriously, guys, I'm good. 87 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,959 I just want to veg at the house, 88 00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:26,813 eat a shit-ton of White Castle for dinner. 89 00:04:26,816 --> 00:04:29,106 I spent many a day in prison. 90 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,981 It's a walk in the park. 91 00:04:30,983 --> 00:04:33,295 Three squares a day, lots of friends, 92 00:04:33,298 --> 00:04:36,355 free gym membership, and all the books you can read. 93 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:38,564 I suggest Ulysses. 94 00:04:38,566 --> 00:04:41,065 Shall we? 95 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,023 No, go. Go. 96 00:04:44,274 --> 00:04:46,065 See you later, Taraji. 97 00:04:48,108 --> 00:04:50,272 Liam! 98 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:52,998 Hey, uh, 99 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,686 how come you don't want to do anything? 100 00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:56,647 I'm about to spend the next two years of my life 101 00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:57,856 in fight-or-flight mode. 102 00:04:57,858 --> 00:04:58,940 I just want one last day 103 00:04:58,942 --> 00:05:01,689 where I feel safe and relaxed. 104 00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,483 Oh, okay. 105 00:05:03,486 --> 00:05:04,628 Sure? 106 00:05:04,631 --> 00:05:06,023 Yep. 107 00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:08,606 I guess I'll go to work then. 108 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:10,148 I'll be back for dinner, all right? 109 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,148 - Yeah, see you at dinner. - Okay. 110 00:05:26,584 --> 00:05:28,198 Have you seen these inglenooks 111 00:05:28,209 --> 00:05:29,356 and these lead windows? 112 00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,731 Did you see the second bathroom? 113 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,065 We could each have our own. 114 00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:33,535 Dibs on the black-and-green-tile one. 115 00:05:33,537 --> 00:05:34,940 What's the rent? 116 00:05:34,942 --> 00:05:36,856 It's $3,000 a month. 117 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,481 That's crazy. 118 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:39,606 - We can't afford that. - Sure we can. 119 00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:41,190 You're gonna get at least 1,000 bucks for 120 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:43,481 renting your place, and I'll cover the rest. 121 00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:45,769 No, then it'll feel like it's your apartment 122 00:05:45,772 --> 00:05:47,412 that I'm just tippy-toeing around in. 123 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,980 Well, you can rustle up an extra 500 bucks a month, then. 124 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,284 Maybe. 125 00:05:51,287 --> 00:05:52,314 Come on, you're gonna be loaded 126 00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:53,731 off that senior center soon. 127 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,689 Can we look for something cheaper? 128 00:05:55,691 --> 00:05:57,773 This place has southern exposure. 129 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,731 I don't even know why that's a good thing. 130 00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,190 It means this whole place will be 131 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:02,981 shit-tons of sunny in the winter. 132 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,347 Can we think about it? 133 00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:07,356 I got a meeting with Max right now anyway. 134 00:06:07,358 --> 00:06:08,773 We'll let you know. 135 00:06:08,775 --> 00:06:10,272 Okay, um, sure. 136 00:06:10,274 --> 00:06:11,522 I can't guarantee 137 00:06:11,524 --> 00:06:13,148 it'll still be available, though. 138 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:14,650 Come here. 139 00:06:19,942 --> 00:06:22,148 Mm. 140 00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:23,773 I thought we were ready to take 141 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,356 this relationship to the next level. 142 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:28,272 I just didn't realize that would be so expensive. 143 00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:30,190 Well, to get ahead in life, you have to push past 144 00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:32,483 your comfort zone. 145 00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:36,981 Okay. 146 00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:38,564 - Yeah? - Let's do it. 147 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,148 Great. 148 00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:50,531 Ah! Ah! 149 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,981 - What are you guys doing? - Survival training. 150 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,731 Kelly has a black belt in krav maga. 151 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,190 She's teaching me some moves. 152 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:02,564 All right. 153 00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:04,023 Survival training, huh? 154 00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:07,969 Yeah. Ooh! 155 00:07:07,972 --> 00:07:09,190 Ah! 156 00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:11,606 - Hi. - Hey. 157 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,439 You know what, can you guys show me some moves? 158 00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,190 - Sure. - Okay. 159 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,981 Oh. 160 00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:26,831 Go. 161 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:27,940 Go! 162 00:07:27,942 --> 00:07:29,889 - Hey, man. - Hey. 163 00:07:29,892 --> 00:07:31,391 Hey, man, thanks for covering for me. 164 00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:32,409 Yeah, yeah, of course. 165 00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:34,396 - Client's in the room now. - Okay. 166 00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:36,065 Hey, took an Ambien. 167 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,272 She'll probably be asleep till tonight. 168 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,190 Great, yeah. 169 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,231 She got a stockholders' 170 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,522 meeting in the morning 171 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:43,023 with Highland Cosmetics. 172 00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:45,648 She's their keynote speaker, Jen Wagner. 173 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,191 If she shows up hammered, 174 00:07:47,194 --> 00:07:49,689 the company's gonna drop her as their spokesperson. 175 00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:51,914 You're talking about Jen Wagner, the movie star chick? 176 00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:53,439 Yeah, that's the one. 177 00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:55,481 Uh, I didn't know she was a boozer. 178 00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,065 Everybody got their demons, right? 179 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,814 - Yeah. - I should be back 180 00:07:58,816 --> 00:08:00,606 from dropping off my kid at camp 181 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,314 around 5:00 to relieve you. 182 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,813 All right. Yeah-yeah, I got you. 183 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,566 - Thank you. - Yeah. 184 00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:20,898 Why does Paw Patrol only have one girl? 185 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,753 Shh, I'm trying to watch. 186 00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:25,772 No job is too big. No pup is too small. 187 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,250 This cartoon is sexist. 188 00:08:30,253 --> 00:08:32,065 V, when I watch with the girls, 189 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:34,065 we don't criticize Ryder and his team. 190 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,775 We just laugh and enjoy it. 191 00:08:39,316 --> 00:08:42,856 I've got something else you can enjoy. 192 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,065 See ya, Paw Patrol. 193 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,731 Let's work off these donuts. 194 00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,481 I ate a lot of crullers. 195 00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:52,356 Mm-hmm. 196 00:08:53,691 --> 00:08:55,564 Who is that? 197 00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,940 Probably a Gallagher. 198 00:08:56,943 --> 00:08:58,024 Or a Jehovah. 199 00:08:58,027 --> 00:08:59,689 I'll get rid of them. 200 00:09:04,316 --> 00:09:06,648 Sister Frances. 201 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,522 - Good morning. - Good mor... 202 00:09:09,524 --> 00:09:11,231 Please, won't you come in? 203 00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:18,023 Good morning. Have a... have a seat. 204 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:21,648 Amy brought this in for show-and-tell today. 205 00:09:24,025 --> 00:09:26,898 That's weird. 206 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,648 I wonder where she got it from. 207 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,190 The children were supposed to bring in something 208 00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:32,972 that represents their parents' love for each other. 209 00:09:32,975 --> 00:09:35,981 Most brought in hearts or pictures of their siblings. 210 00:09:35,983 --> 00:09:37,522 Amy brought this. 211 00:09:39,608 --> 00:09:40,785 I'm so sorry. 212 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,149 It'll never happen again. 213 00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:47,564 It's double-click. 214 00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,439 In order for Amy to return back to school on Monday, 215 00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:54,231 Father D'Amico has requested 216 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,644 that you come to his office today and speak with him. 217 00:09:56,647 --> 00:09:58,272 You're gonna kick her out because of this? 218 00:09:58,274 --> 00:10:00,034 We would love to speak with the priest. 219 00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:02,438 My wife and I just need to say our morning prayers, 220 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:03,814 and then we'll meet you at the rectory. 221 00:10:03,816 --> 00:10:04,884 I can take that... Or you can 222 00:10:04,886 --> 00:10:07,023 keep it as a parting gift. 223 00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:09,483 Thank you, Sister Frances, for coming. 224 00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:15,564 Hey, Fiona! 225 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,606 - Hello. - Hi. 226 00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,148 Everybody, this is Fiona. 227 00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:21,328 This is Gil, Jessica, and Sandy. 228 00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,814 - Hello. - Hey, how's it going? 229 00:10:22,816 --> 00:10:24,190 - Hi. - Please, sit down. 230 00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:26,190 So, what did the hearing board say 231 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,689 about the Sunset Brook project? 232 00:10:27,691 --> 00:10:29,439 They denied our request on rezoning. 233 00:10:29,441 --> 00:10:30,773 - Mm. - What? 234 00:10:30,775 --> 00:10:33,439 Yeah, well, we expected that. 235 00:10:33,441 --> 00:10:35,105 I did not expect that. 236 00:10:35,108 --> 00:10:36,648 What were they asking for? 237 00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,189 Traffic and environmental impact report? 238 00:10:38,191 --> 00:10:39,362 Oh, of course. 239 00:10:39,365 --> 00:10:41,189 City's gonna try to force us to do street 240 00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,648 and sewer upgrades, plus, there was a gas station 241 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:44,995 on that corner in the '20s, 242 00:10:44,998 --> 00:10:46,981 so they want to see what's underneath, 243 00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,472 and we gotta pay for it. 244 00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:50,813 Usual bureaucratic bullshit. 245 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,231 So if they don't rezone, 246 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,816 can the old age home still go in there? 247 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,608 Of course. It'll just take longer. 248 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:56,898 How much longer? 249 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,519 A year or so, most likely. 250 00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:00,231 You know, I've been using Hilford and Carson to get 251 00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:01,610 reports on my Glendale project. 252 00:11:01,613 --> 00:11:02,727 Sounds good to me. 253 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,855 How much are they? 254 00:11:03,858 --> 00:11:05,023 We can probably get all the reports 255 00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:07,564 done that we need for about 256 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:09,606 $100,000, so 20 grand apiece. 257 00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,272 Hm. You cool with PayPal? 258 00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:15,816 - Of course. - I'll write you a check. 259 00:11:15,819 --> 00:11:18,647 I don't think I have my checkbook with me. 260 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:20,481 Ah, just get it to me later today or tomorrow. 261 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:21,816 Sure, yeah. 262 00:11:21,819 --> 00:11:23,578 So it's probably time for us to talk 263 00:11:23,581 --> 00:11:24,897 about hiring a lawyer, too. 264 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,856 I can talk to this guy I know, 265 00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,522 put him on a retainer. Um. 266 00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:30,564 Should cost us about $5,000 each. 267 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,065 Nice. Yeah. 268 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,839 Great. 269 00:11:46,441 --> 00:11:48,106 Oh, look at that, someone got 270 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,813 some pretty balloons! 271 00:11:49,816 --> 00:11:51,481 The hell? 272 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:54,067 You can't visit the mentally ill empty-handed. 273 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,039 Hey, Baxter, what's shaking? 274 00:11:58,042 --> 00:11:59,564 Frankie! 275 00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,106 - Hey. - Wow. 276 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,606 Long time. 277 00:12:02,608 --> 00:12:05,689 That's because my Monica died. 278 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:07,731 - No. - Yeah. 279 00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:09,731 I am so sorry, buddy. 280 00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:11,564 Thanks, 281 00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:13,648 but it's gonna be okay. 282 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,940 Got a new lady. 283 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,272 Hey, good for you. 284 00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:18,683 And by my calculations, 285 00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:21,898 she should be finishing up her 72 hours today. 286 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,839 So my son and I are just gonna 287 00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:26,272 hunker down until she gets released. 288 00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:28,190 Wait, this is Liam? 289 00:12:28,192 --> 00:12:29,564 Yep. 290 00:12:29,566 --> 00:12:31,425 Wow. Last time I saw you, 291 00:12:31,428 --> 00:12:33,480 you must have been two years old, 292 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:35,402 just talking up a storm. 293 00:12:35,405 --> 00:12:37,231 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 294 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,683 Hey, listen. 295 00:12:38,686 --> 00:12:40,190 I remember 296 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,773 your mom's face just always lit up 297 00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:44,940 every time she saw you 298 00:12:44,942 --> 00:12:46,606 when she got released from here. 299 00:12:46,608 --> 00:12:49,190 Sure it wasn't the Thorazine? 300 00:12:49,192 --> 00:12:51,644 Hey, Baxter, could I get the, uh, remote? 301 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,025 Yeah. 302 00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:16,980 Oh, hey. 303 00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:18,148 Hi. 304 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:19,606 Hey, are you going somewhere? 305 00:13:19,608 --> 00:13:21,356 Who the hell are you? 306 00:13:21,358 --> 00:13:23,231 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm Lip. 307 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,148 Um, Philip. 308 00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:27,444 Covering for Barney for a couple hours. 309 00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:30,358 Excuse me? 310 00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,148 Hey. 311 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,148 Um, hi! 312 00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:36,397 W... 313 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:39,314 Hey, I... 314 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:55,524 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 315 00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,314 Hi. 316 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,725 Thought I lost you. Um. 317 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:15,065 Uh, hey, could you wait up? 318 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:17,522 L... I'm... I'm supposed to... To be with you. 319 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,981 My sober companion, yeah, I know, I got it. 320 00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,940 I'm just going for a little walk. 321 00:14:21,942 --> 00:14:23,689 I... 322 00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:30,898 Hey, you could slow down a little bit? 323 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,439 You seem like a nice kid. 324 00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:35,023 I just... I just need some space, all right? 325 00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:37,023 Yeah, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. 326 00:14:37,025 --> 00:14:38,856 Actually, it's a great idea. 327 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,773 See, this is like a mini-vacation for me. 328 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,065 - Mm-hm. - Got no work, no husband, 329 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,272 no screaming kids. 330 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,439 No one knows I'm in town, 331 00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,898 so I'm... I'm anonymous here. 332 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:46,856 - Yeah, I'm... - I just... I just... 333 00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:48,112 I need some alone time. 334 00:14:48,115 --> 00:14:50,940 I'm concerned you might drink. 335 00:14:50,942 --> 00:14:53,139 Don't be concerned, bunny. 336 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,023 Look, does that mean you are gonna drink, 337 00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,190 or you're not gonna drink? 338 00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:57,648 It means if I do drink, 339 00:14:57,650 --> 00:14:59,522 everything's gonna be okay. 340 00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:00,737 You've got a meeting tomorrow. 341 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,106 Yeah, in like 20 hours. 342 00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,231 Yeah, a lot can happen in that time. 343 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,231 A few drinks is not gonna kill me. 344 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:08,397 I... I'll be back at the hotel by mid-afternoon. 345 00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:10,314 I'll chug a gallon of Evian, I'll eat a pizza, 346 00:15:10,316 --> 00:15:12,272 hit the steam room, get a great night's sleep, 347 00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,773 and be as good as new for my meeting. 348 00:15:13,775 --> 00:15:16,648 Really, it's no big whoop. No one will know. 349 00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:19,231 I will. 350 00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:21,065 Aren't you a sweet Boy Scout? 351 00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:22,358 No... 352 00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:28,323 Are you serious? 353 00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,795 Hey, Barney. 354 00:16:02,798 --> 00:16:05,546 Yeah, no, everything's good. 355 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,773 No, yeah, she's still sleeping. 356 00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:08,940 Okay. 357 00:16:08,942 --> 00:16:10,564 Talk to you later. Bye. 358 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:21,439 - Stop! - Oh, my God! 359 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,356 Hey, look, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 360 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,373 - You gave me no choice. - Get off me! 361 00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:27,564 Not until you promise you're not gonna drink. 362 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:29,456 Look, I'm not getting off you until you promise! 363 00:16:29,459 --> 00:16:32,190 - No! - This is my job! 364 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,439 - To sit on top of me? - To make sure you don't drink! 365 00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:35,898 Oh, my God, I told you, 366 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,058 it's no big deal. 367 00:16:37,061 --> 00:16:38,898 Yes, it is. All right? 368 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,756 Don't fuck up this gig for me. 369 00:16:40,759 --> 00:16:42,251 My brother's going to prison tomorrow. 370 00:16:42,253 --> 00:16:44,064 I need the money for his commissary account. 371 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,689 Are you trying to play on my emotions? 372 00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:46,856 Is it working? 373 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,564 No, because I don't have any! 374 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,148 All right, well, then, suck it up until Barney 375 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,190 gets back at 5:00, all right? He can deal with you. 376 00:16:52,193 --> 00:16:53,898 What am I supposed to do if I'm not drinking? 377 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,231 Just sit in the hotel room all day, 378 00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,648 watching SpectraVision? 379 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,252 Uh, we could hang out here in the park. 380 00:16:58,255 --> 00:16:59,378 It's a beautiful day out. 381 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:00,856 You are such a sap. 382 00:17:00,858 --> 00:17:03,066 Look, just relax, all right? 383 00:17:03,069 --> 00:17:04,606 Enjoy, and 384 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,856 take it one moment at a time, all right? 385 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,906 Oh, jeez. AA crap. 386 00:17:08,909 --> 00:17:10,731 All right, fine. 387 00:17:10,733 --> 00:17:12,814 We'll just hang out in this stupid park. 388 00:17:12,816 --> 00:17:13,814 - All right. - Okay. 389 00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:15,023 Now I'm gonna get off you, 390 00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,814 but I swear, if you run, 391 00:17:16,816 --> 00:17:18,356 I will tackle the fuck out of you. 392 00:17:18,358 --> 00:17:20,023 You are so dramatic. 393 00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:22,522 Hey, look who's talking, commercial actress chick. 394 00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:25,758 I'll have you know, I have done 17 films and 4 TV shows. 395 00:17:25,761 --> 00:17:27,522 Whatever. 396 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,106 Hey! 397 00:17:29,108 --> 00:17:31,472 I'm just kidding, you little shit. 398 00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:52,106 What are you doing? 399 00:17:52,108 --> 00:17:53,524 Packing for our move. 400 00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,439 I'm having second thoughts. 401 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,106 We paid a deposit. 402 00:18:01,108 --> 00:18:03,272 We'll just cancel the check. 403 00:18:03,274 --> 00:18:05,940 We signed a lease. 404 00:18:05,942 --> 00:18:07,773 The realtor won't care. 405 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:12,148 She said tons of people are interested, anyway. 406 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,689 What's this about? 407 00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:24,651 To be honest, I smelled mold in there. 408 00:18:24,654 --> 00:18:27,235 These old apartments, they got so much water damage, 409 00:18:27,238 --> 00:18:29,481 and mold is so bad for your lungs. 410 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,898 Hm. And where's this coming from? 411 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,733 I just think we can find something better and cheaper. 412 00:18:38,363 --> 00:18:41,236 What's your excuse gonna be in the next apartment? 413 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:42,901 Excuse me? 414 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,148 You're not remotely serious about 415 00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,165 us getting a place together. 416 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,940 - That is not true. - Bullshit. 417 00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:48,106 I have a perfectly 418 00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:49,828 good apartment right here. 419 00:18:49,831 --> 00:18:51,773 Which is too small for me to move any of my stuff into. 420 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:53,050 It's not the right time for me 421 00:18:53,053 --> 00:18:54,360 to be spending that kind of money. 422 00:18:54,362 --> 00:18:55,468 Well, let me know when it is the right time, 423 00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:57,151 and maybe, I might still be around. 424 00:18:57,154 --> 00:18:58,648 Where are you going? 425 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,401 To cancel a check and break a lease 426 00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:02,939 so God forbid, we don't have to fucking live together. 427 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,190 Yo, bitch. 428 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,856 My cell, now. 429 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:12,023 No way, Larry. Ow. 430 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,253 See, wrong move. 431 00:19:13,256 --> 00:19:14,481 You just got your throat slit. 432 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,981 Ah! 433 00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:19,898 - And now you're dead. - Shit. 434 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,397 Dude, what the hell did we teach you? 435 00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:24,689 Your ass gonna get fucked up in prison. 436 00:19:24,691 --> 00:19:25,695 Run it again. 437 00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:30,890 My cell, bitch. 438 00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,479 You don't roll into the blade. 439 00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:35,313 Use your left hand to grab her wrist with the knife. 440 00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:38,231 Grab her elbow, then throw. 441 00:19:43,358 --> 00:19:44,481 You good? 442 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,606 Yeah. 443 00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:52,481 Yeah? 444 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:58,522 Ian here? 445 00:19:58,524 --> 00:19:59,981 Who wants to know? 446 00:19:59,983 --> 00:20:01,314 My name's Antonio. 447 00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:03,272 Joselito sent me. 448 00:20:03,274 --> 00:20:05,023 Oh. Yeah, I'm Ian. 449 00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:08,397 Come in. 450 00:20:08,399 --> 00:20:10,940 We talking Joselito from County? 451 00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:12,666 How's he doing? 452 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,773 Jackass got extra 20 years. Stabbed a guard. 453 00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:18,272 That sucks. 454 00:20:18,274 --> 00:20:20,231 Uh, is he still with Leo? 455 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,648 Nah, they broke up after Leo got released. 456 00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:24,429 That long-distance shit never works. 457 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,682 So what's going on? 458 00:20:25,685 --> 00:20:27,452 Joselito wanted me to give you an in-depth 459 00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:29,606 safety orientation about Beckman Correctional 460 00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:31,023 before they send you up. 461 00:20:37,358 --> 00:20:38,648 Is that my Ingrid? 462 00:20:39,942 --> 00:20:42,148 No, it's just some crazy dude. 463 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,898 What's so special about 464 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,689 this chick we're waiting for, anyway? 465 00:20:45,691 --> 00:20:49,065 Well, son, it's a great gift in this life 466 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,981 to know what you're good at. 467 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,231 And, uh, 468 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:55,522 I'm good at crazy. 469 00:20:55,524 --> 00:20:58,481 I'm a caretaker to it. Makes me feel needed. 470 00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:00,481 It's how I felt with your mother. 471 00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:04,439 Plus, it's never boring. Look at this. 472 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,231 What the hell is that? 473 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,757 Monica. 474 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,439 I was asleep. 475 00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:13,272 Decided she was gonna light me on fire, 476 00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:15,314 one body part at a time. 477 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,816 - Why? - Hard to say 478 00:21:16,819 --> 00:21:18,147 with a crazy person. 479 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:19,314 That's the thrill. 480 00:21:19,317 --> 00:21:20,601 You never know what you're gonna get, 481 00:21:20,603 --> 00:21:21,940 moment to moment. 482 00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:23,648 Thankfully, 483 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,106 she passed out before she could torch 484 00:21:26,108 --> 00:21:28,439 the rest of my body. 485 00:21:28,441 --> 00:21:31,148 I'd given up trying to find 486 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:35,481 excitement like that again, till now. 487 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,635 I'm gonna get some more of those, um, fudge stripes, 488 00:21:38,638 --> 00:21:40,309 and then I'll tell you about the time Monica 489 00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:42,190 shattered my kneecap with a pool cue. 490 00:21:42,192 --> 00:21:45,420 It was the best sex of my life. 491 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,689 That cloud up there looks like a martini glass. 492 00:21:50,691 --> 00:21:52,900 Nah, it's clearly a beer funnel. 493 00:21:55,025 --> 00:21:56,522 When did you start drinking? 494 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,731 Nine? 495 00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:00,284 Maybe earlier. 496 00:22:00,287 --> 00:22:02,065 I was 12. 497 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,314 We had a beer keg tapped in our backyard at all times. 498 00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:07,689 Grow up in a fraternity? 499 00:22:07,691 --> 00:22:08,940 You ever try and stop? 500 00:22:08,942 --> 00:22:10,898 Course. 501 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,397 Life's hard. 502 00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:14,240 Booze is my only escape. 503 00:22:14,243 --> 00:22:16,825 Why'd you hire a sober companion, then? 504 00:22:16,828 --> 00:22:19,034 I didn't. 505 00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:21,356 Highland Cosmetics did after the incident, 506 00:22:21,358 --> 00:22:23,451 where we're doing this Christmas commercial 507 00:22:23,454 --> 00:22:25,494 in the fall, and I was riding a horse 508 00:22:25,497 --> 00:22:27,214 through Central Park, and I fell off. 509 00:22:27,217 --> 00:22:28,564 Drunk? 510 00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:31,356 I was plastered. 511 00:22:31,358 --> 00:22:32,689 Course, the horse got spooked 512 00:22:32,691 --> 00:22:34,231 and took off, and guess what I did? 513 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,037 Start chasing after him. 514 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,481 - Sure. - I was wearing high heels 515 00:22:37,483 --> 00:22:39,773 and this snow angel thing. 516 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,689 Yeah. I almost caught it, and I promise you, 517 00:22:42,691 --> 00:22:44,839 - I could've, had I not puked. - Sure. 518 00:22:44,842 --> 00:22:46,342 I'm surprised you didn't see it. 519 00:22:46,345 --> 00:22:48,106 It was all over the Internet. You didn't see the gif? 520 00:22:48,108 --> 00:22:51,106 - No. - The... 521 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:53,856 Aw, man. 522 00:22:53,858 --> 00:22:55,566 Oh. 523 00:22:58,357 --> 00:23:00,189 Let's go get some lunch. 524 00:23:00,192 --> 00:23:03,106 I'm fucking starving. 525 00:23:03,108 --> 00:23:04,898 Sure, yeah. 526 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:12,425 Hey, Max. You got a second? 527 00:23:12,428 --> 00:23:14,648 Yeah, what's up? Late for a thing. 528 00:23:14,650 --> 00:23:17,662 - I need to get out of our deal. - What? 529 00:23:17,665 --> 00:23:20,313 Another opportunity came up, and I'm short on cash. 530 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,334 What other opportunity? 531 00:23:22,337 --> 00:23:24,730 Is it something I want to invest in? 532 00:23:24,733 --> 00:23:27,898 I'm not allowed to say, but I gotta act fast. 533 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:29,397 Are you kidding me? 534 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,495 You bullied your way onto my project, 535 00:23:31,498 --> 00:23:33,065 and I can't get in on yours? 536 00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:35,022 I'm sorry. My hands are tied. 537 00:23:35,025 --> 00:23:37,231 So how can I get my money out of the Sunset Brook project? 538 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,856 You can't. I mean, it's been invested. 539 00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,148 And the paperwork's already been 540 00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:43,439 filed on the partnership, so... 541 00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:45,397 Well, I wasn't expecting a 12-month delay 542 00:23:45,399 --> 00:23:46,998 on the senior center. 543 00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:48,740 None of us were. 544 00:23:48,743 --> 00:23:50,981 So what's the other thing? You getting a better return? 545 00:23:50,983 --> 00:23:53,981 Is that, uh... Is that why you want to bail? 546 00:23:53,983 --> 00:23:55,355 Something like that. 547 00:23:55,358 --> 00:23:57,148 Jesus. 548 00:23:57,150 --> 00:23:58,481 You know, I thought we had a good 549 00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:00,981 business thing going here. 550 00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:04,231 I scratch your back, you scratch mine. 551 00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:06,272 See how you are, Gallagher. 552 00:24:06,274 --> 00:24:08,451 All right, don't forget my 25K. 553 00:24:16,951 --> 00:24:19,481 So we have a little sex toy obsession, do we? 554 00:24:19,483 --> 00:24:21,023 Obsession? No, no, I would... 555 00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:22,350 I wouldn't say that at all. 556 00:24:22,353 --> 00:24:24,315 It's actually the only sex toy we have, Father. 557 00:24:24,318 --> 00:24:26,023 Well, I'm sure you would both agree that 558 00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:28,428 exposing Amy to this kind of depravity 559 00:24:28,431 --> 00:24:29,956 is not in her best interest. 560 00:24:29,959 --> 00:24:31,209 With all due respect, Father, 561 00:24:31,212 --> 00:24:33,939 we're not exposing our daughter to any depravity. 562 00:24:33,942 --> 00:24:35,065 Need I remind you 563 00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,443 that your daughter brought 564 00:24:36,446 --> 00:24:39,636 a massive, veiny, vibrating dildo 565 00:24:39,639 --> 00:24:42,148 into preschool? 566 00:24:42,150 --> 00:24:44,606 Now, you may be asking yourselves how 567 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,737 a pious man like myself 568 00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,648 could have such carnal knowledge 569 00:24:48,650 --> 00:24:51,731 of sexual fetishes and addictions. 570 00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,648 Yeah, no, we weren't asking that. 571 00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,356 I'm actually kind of curious. Yeah? 572 00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:57,529 Well, prior to serving God, 573 00:24:57,532 --> 00:24:59,608 I was in the United States Navy. 574 00:25:00,816 --> 00:25:02,856 You have no idea what loneliness is 575 00:25:02,858 --> 00:25:04,856 until you're trapped out at sea, 576 00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:07,775 away from home for months at a time. 577 00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:12,356 I was at a low point in my life as our ship 578 00:25:12,358 --> 00:25:14,481 pulled into Subic Bay. 579 00:25:14,483 --> 00:25:17,773 Little did I know that my life was about to spiral downward. 580 00:25:17,775 --> 00:25:19,381 As we disembarked from our ship, 581 00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:23,064 my fellow seamen and I were greeted by the warm smiles 582 00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,940 of the Subic Bay women. 583 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,689 Let me tell you, a hug from a Subic Bay woman 584 00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:29,689 can take away all your loneliness, 585 00:25:29,691 --> 00:25:33,106 especially from one woman, 586 00:25:33,108 --> 00:25:35,272 named Ming-hang. 587 00:25:35,274 --> 00:25:36,693 Of course, I had to pay 588 00:25:36,696 --> 00:25:39,313 for her companionship, but what's a few pesos 589 00:25:39,316 --> 00:25:41,148 when you're treated like a king for an hour? 590 00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:44,522 Or in my case, a few hours, which turned into days, 591 00:25:44,524 --> 00:25:46,648 which turned into weeks, 592 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:49,106 and then, eventually, my going AWOL, 593 00:25:49,108 --> 00:25:50,397 and being served 594 00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,566 a military warrant for my arrest. 595 00:25:54,691 --> 00:25:57,356 Is this $22 for a grilled cheese? 596 00:25:57,358 --> 00:25:59,814 Who cares? Get what you want. 597 00:25:59,816 --> 00:26:02,050 I'm gonna splurge and get the Cobb salad. 598 00:26:02,053 --> 00:26:03,397 Final answer. 599 00:26:03,399 --> 00:26:04,773 Oh, salad's splurging? 600 00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:06,148 It has creamy dressing. 601 00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:08,023 Oh. 602 00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:11,981 So what qualifies you to be a sober companion? 603 00:26:11,983 --> 00:26:14,314 I don't know, really. 604 00:26:14,316 --> 00:26:16,076 I mean, I've never done it before. 605 00:26:16,079 --> 00:26:17,314 Um. 606 00:26:17,316 --> 00:26:19,731 Barney trusts me, I guess, 607 00:26:19,733 --> 00:26:22,439 and I know how a drunk thinks. 608 00:26:22,441 --> 00:26:25,167 Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary. 609 00:26:25,170 --> 00:26:26,773 Are you positive it's virgin? 610 00:26:26,775 --> 00:26:29,606 It's absolutely, 100%, a virgin. 611 00:26:29,608 --> 00:26:32,190 Uh, and Coke for the gentleman. 612 00:26:32,193 --> 00:26:33,453 Let me put this tray down. 613 00:26:33,455 --> 00:26:34,809 I'll be right back to take your order. 614 00:26:34,811 --> 00:26:37,175 Kay. This is, like, an entire salad 615 00:26:37,178 --> 00:26:38,522 - on my glass. - Oh, yeah. 616 00:26:38,524 --> 00:26:40,522 Guess they have to make up for it being a virgin. 617 00:26:40,524 --> 00:26:42,389 Oh, my God. 618 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,390 Hey, you told Fred the waiter that a virgin meant 619 00:26:44,393 --> 00:26:47,725 to make it a double when I was in the bathroom. 620 00:26:47,728 --> 00:26:49,686 Fuck, I miss Barney. 621 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,190 Sh... 622 00:26:52,192 --> 00:26:54,701 Jesus Christ. 623 00:26:57,358 --> 00:26:59,272 Anyway, at first, Ming-hang and I 624 00:26:59,274 --> 00:27:02,170 just talked and made love. 625 00:27:02,173 --> 00:27:05,190 Then she introduced me to something called the Hot Carl. 626 00:27:05,192 --> 00:27:06,606 Do you know what the Hot Carl is? 627 00:27:06,608 --> 00:27:08,231 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We got it. 628 00:27:08,233 --> 00:27:10,648 That quickly led to the Dirty Sanchez, 629 00:27:10,651 --> 00:27:12,231 and then the gorilla mask. 630 00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:14,065 It got to the point where I couldn't orgasm 631 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:17,522 unless I was doing the Alabama Hot Pocket. 632 00:27:18,673 --> 00:27:20,042 Oh, that's when you defecate... 633 00:27:20,045 --> 00:27:21,740 Nope, Father. Too far. 634 00:27:21,743 --> 00:27:23,231 Oh, you're gonna stop him now? 635 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:26,190 Anyway, the next time you reach for that dildo, 636 00:27:26,192 --> 00:27:28,159 or that butt plug, or that ball gag, 637 00:27:28,162 --> 00:27:29,522 you remember me, 638 00:27:29,524 --> 00:27:31,272 an innocent seaman 639 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:33,115 just trying to serve his country 640 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:36,022 while getting choked out to the point of asphyxiation 641 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:38,397 by a Subic Bay woman named... 642 00:27:38,399 --> 00:27:41,648 Ming-hang. 643 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:43,065 Father, our penance. 644 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:44,731 Oh, yes, right. 645 00:27:44,733 --> 00:27:47,023 Um, say four Hail Marys 646 00:27:47,025 --> 00:27:48,439 and six Our Fathers. 647 00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:51,356 Thank you. 648 00:28:05,398 --> 00:28:07,230 Okay. 649 00:28:07,233 --> 00:28:09,358 - I just need your license. - Sure. 650 00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:13,524 Thank you. 651 00:28:16,565 --> 00:28:19,855 I see that you already have two mortgage loans with us. 652 00:28:19,858 --> 00:28:20,940 Yes. How long would it take 653 00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:23,023 to get more money against my property? 654 00:28:23,025 --> 00:28:25,936 - How much were you looking for? - $25,000. 655 00:28:25,939 --> 00:28:28,521 Well, we would have to start the whole approval process again 656 00:28:28,524 --> 00:28:30,356 and run a new credit check. 657 00:28:30,358 --> 00:28:32,522 We would need copies of your tax returns for the last 658 00:28:32,524 --> 00:28:35,190 two years, pay stubs for the last three months. 659 00:28:35,192 --> 00:28:37,190 Then we'll review all of your bank statements, 660 00:28:37,192 --> 00:28:39,272 just to ensure that you can complete the payments. 661 00:28:39,275 --> 00:28:40,663 After we have everything we need, 662 00:28:40,666 --> 00:28:41,731 it usually takes the underwriter 663 00:28:41,733 --> 00:28:43,814 about six weeks to approve. 664 00:28:43,816 --> 00:28:46,564 Six weeks? 665 00:28:46,566 --> 00:28:48,522 I need the money immediately. 666 00:28:48,524 --> 00:28:50,148 Well, there is an expedited procedure, 667 00:28:50,150 --> 00:28:51,612 but that will cost you 10%. 668 00:28:51,615 --> 00:28:53,314 - How expedited? - Ten days. 669 00:28:53,316 --> 00:28:55,356 Do you want to start the application process? 670 00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:56,689 Yes. 671 00:28:59,150 --> 00:29:00,231 Okay. 672 00:29:00,233 --> 00:29:02,065 So this is the layout 673 00:29:02,067 --> 00:29:04,314 of Beckman Correctional, all right? 674 00:29:04,316 --> 00:29:05,761 This is the area you want to avoid. 675 00:29:05,764 --> 00:29:07,606 Anything on the west side, 676 00:29:07,608 --> 00:29:09,814 the showers, this side of the yard, 677 00:29:09,816 --> 00:29:11,272 and these cells. 678 00:29:11,274 --> 00:29:13,065 That is a lot of area I'm avoiding. 679 00:29:13,067 --> 00:29:14,065 You'll thank me later. 680 00:29:14,067 --> 00:29:15,272 All the inmates over here 681 00:29:15,274 --> 00:29:17,773 are murderers. Murderer, 682 00:29:17,775 --> 00:29:19,940 murderer, murderer. 683 00:29:19,942 --> 00:29:21,190 Jesus. 684 00:29:21,192 --> 00:29:23,397 So this 685 00:29:23,399 --> 00:29:25,981 is the primo area at Beckman. 686 00:29:25,983 --> 00:29:27,356 All right? I'm talking about 687 00:29:27,358 --> 00:29:29,350 Disney compared to that shit over there. 688 00:29:29,353 --> 00:29:31,481 So over here, you'll get your good weed, 689 00:29:31,483 --> 00:29:34,081 your coke, your smoke, and your Snicker bars. 690 00:29:34,084 --> 00:29:35,279 Anything you need. 691 00:29:35,282 --> 00:29:37,106 Assume that anything you get from the west 692 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:38,356 is gonna be laced with some shit 693 00:29:38,358 --> 00:29:40,689 - that's gonna fucking kill you. - Got it. 694 00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:42,106 Now, back in Disney, 695 00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:43,773 is where you'll find the guys 696 00:29:43,775 --> 00:29:45,940 that give the best blowies. 697 00:29:45,942 --> 00:29:47,606 All right? There's Ralphie. 698 00:29:47,608 --> 00:29:50,003 Clean, quick, easy. 699 00:29:50,006 --> 00:29:51,522 Old Man Stewie? 700 00:29:51,524 --> 00:29:53,731 He's good. The Senator. 701 00:29:53,733 --> 00:29:55,058 Oh, and Sasquatch. 702 00:29:55,061 --> 00:29:56,522 I don't know if he's still there. 703 00:29:56,524 --> 00:29:58,023 Big Pete, Medium Pete. 704 00:29:58,025 --> 00:29:59,159 All good. 705 00:29:59,162 --> 00:30:00,606 - Okay. - Hi. 706 00:30:00,608 --> 00:30:03,065 Anybody got any cash? I need $25,000. 707 00:30:03,068 --> 00:30:04,381 What? For what? 708 00:30:04,384 --> 00:30:06,814 I gotta put more money into this investment that I made. 709 00:30:06,816 --> 00:30:08,190 What investment? 710 00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,689 I put $100,000 into a 711 00:30:09,691 --> 00:30:11,065 parking lot that's gonna be... 712 00:30:11,067 --> 00:30:12,648 You got 100 grand? 713 00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:14,648 No, the... the bank gave me a line 714 00:30:14,650 --> 00:30:16,331 of credit against my apartment building. 715 00:30:16,334 --> 00:30:17,397 That's just dumb. 716 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,065 Don't pay it back. 717 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:20,689 No, then they'll take the building. 718 00:30:20,691 --> 00:30:22,272 You could try to sell something. 719 00:30:22,274 --> 00:30:23,231 What about your car? 720 00:30:23,233 --> 00:30:24,814 It's a lease. 721 00:30:24,816 --> 00:30:27,648 I can do you a solid. 722 00:30:27,650 --> 00:30:28,773 Who are you? 723 00:30:28,775 --> 00:30:29,698 Antonio. 724 00:30:29,701 --> 00:30:31,356 He's a friend. 725 00:30:31,358 --> 00:30:33,439 Pleasure. I know some guys 726 00:30:33,441 --> 00:30:37,014 that know some guys, get you 25 grand, take a cut. 727 00:30:42,483 --> 00:30:44,148 I'm good. 728 00:30:44,150 --> 00:30:45,981 I think I figured it out. Thanks. 729 00:30:45,983 --> 00:30:47,701 Don't forget, 730 00:30:47,704 --> 00:30:50,148 I'm driving you to prison in the morning. 731 00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:52,397 Okay. 732 00:30:52,399 --> 00:30:56,148 Why is my sobriety so important to you anyway? 733 00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:58,481 It's not. My sobriety is important to me. 734 00:30:58,483 --> 00:31:00,439 That makes no sense. 735 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:02,356 Look, if I help you stay sober, 736 00:31:02,358 --> 00:31:03,856 it helps me stay sober. 737 00:31:03,858 --> 00:31:06,231 So narcissistic. 738 00:31:08,441 --> 00:31:10,731 What if I let you touch these? 739 00:31:10,733 --> 00:31:13,272 This is Highland. This is Cosmetics. 740 00:31:13,274 --> 00:31:16,316 It's nice to meet you, ladies, but I'm... I'm not interested. 741 00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:23,772 - Shit. - What? 742 00:31:23,775 --> 00:31:25,897 Barney's gonna be a couple hours late. 743 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,240 Are you kidding me? 744 00:31:27,243 --> 00:31:30,064 Look, um, I've got my brother's last dinner, all right? 745 00:31:30,067 --> 00:31:31,300 So your ass is coming with me. 746 00:31:31,303 --> 00:31:35,272 Fuck that. I am going to the bar. 747 00:31:35,274 --> 00:31:37,233 Jesus. 748 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:41,648 Two Flaming Dr. Peppers, please. 749 00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:44,065 You got it. 750 00:31:44,067 --> 00:31:45,731 What are you doing? 751 00:31:45,733 --> 00:31:47,065 Ordering us cocktails. 752 00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:48,272 Hey, she doesn't want those. 753 00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:49,564 Yes, she does. 754 00:31:49,566 --> 00:31:51,356 Well, I'm not gonna let you do this. 755 00:31:51,358 --> 00:31:54,106 You're such a buzzkill. 756 00:31:54,108 --> 00:31:57,231 It's only alcohol. Stop giving it so much power. 757 00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:59,356 It's like flavored water, for God's sake. 758 00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,856 Booyah! 759 00:32:03,816 --> 00:32:05,065 That's what I'm talking about. 760 00:32:05,067 --> 00:32:07,148 Thank you. 761 00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:09,106 Here you go. 762 00:32:09,108 --> 00:32:11,065 Come on, take it, you wuss. 763 00:32:12,483 --> 00:32:13,815 Hm. 764 00:32:13,818 --> 00:32:15,190 Please don't drink that. 765 00:32:15,192 --> 00:32:18,154 Douche-canoe, I'm a grown-ass woman. 766 00:32:18,157 --> 00:32:19,981 If I want to drink it, I'm gonna drink it. 767 00:32:19,983 --> 00:32:22,849 Hey, everybody, look, it's Jen Wagner, right here! 768 00:32:22,852 --> 00:32:23,878 Look! 769 00:32:25,150 --> 00:32:27,295 Hi. Hi. 770 00:32:28,441 --> 00:32:29,940 You asshole. Hi. 771 00:32:34,951 --> 00:32:36,858 I don't think you're gonna qualify. 772 00:32:37,983 --> 00:32:39,439 What? 773 00:32:39,441 --> 00:32:41,795 Uh, yeah, you don't have enough revenue 774 00:32:41,798 --> 00:32:43,669 to carry a third loan. 775 00:32:43,672 --> 00:32:45,148 Do you have any additional assets, 776 00:32:45,150 --> 00:32:46,858 bonds, stocks? 777 00:32:48,108 --> 00:32:49,399 No. 778 00:32:50,107 --> 00:32:52,271 Sorry. I can go ahead and push 779 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,959 this expedited application through 780 00:32:53,962 --> 00:32:55,956 and we'll see what the underwriter says, but 781 00:32:55,959 --> 00:32:58,399 I don't think you're gonna get approved. 782 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:07,529 Ah. 783 00:33:07,532 --> 00:33:09,573 You think this stuff makes us depraved? 784 00:33:09,576 --> 00:33:10,731 Fuck, no. 785 00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:12,731 Yeah, but the priest said that we're... 786 00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:14,045 Well, it's his job, Kev, 787 00:33:14,048 --> 00:33:15,242 to make us feel like shit 788 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:16,564 about having a healthy sex life 789 00:33:16,566 --> 00:33:18,233 because he can't anymore. 790 00:33:18,236 --> 00:33:22,980 When is the last time we used any of this stuff, anyway? 791 00:33:22,983 --> 00:33:24,731 Like this butt plug? 792 00:33:24,733 --> 00:33:26,564 Watching the White Sox double-header. 793 00:33:26,566 --> 00:33:28,898 Oh, yeah. 794 00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:31,564 The rain delay. 795 00:33:31,566 --> 00:33:33,814 We just need to be more careful with the girls around. 796 00:33:33,816 --> 00:33:35,231 I don't want them walking in on us 797 00:33:35,233 --> 00:33:37,648 using any of this anytime soon. 798 00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,534 It'll probably just fall out, anyway. 799 00:33:39,537 --> 00:33:40,606 Excuse me? 800 00:33:40,608 --> 00:33:42,900 Of me. It'll fall out of me. 801 00:33:46,281 --> 00:33:48,237 Let's just throw it all out. 802 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,231 Hell, no. 803 00:33:51,233 --> 00:33:53,856 We're gonna have a ceremony, 804 00:33:53,858 --> 00:33:55,942 a proper good-bye. 805 00:33:59,692 --> 00:34:01,275 Hey, Fiona, can you take the Sprite 806 00:34:01,278 --> 00:34:02,648 off this check for me, please? 807 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,108 Um, just, um, comp the whole thing. 808 00:34:37,816 --> 00:34:39,439 Fuck. 809 00:34:39,441 --> 00:34:41,689 - Knock, knock. - What? 810 00:34:41,691 --> 00:34:43,023 Sorry to interrupt, boss. 811 00:34:43,025 --> 00:34:44,653 It's Linus' birthday. 812 00:34:44,656 --> 00:34:46,689 We're gonna have a few drinks later if you want to join. 813 00:34:46,691 --> 00:34:48,564 Sure. 814 00:34:48,566 --> 00:34:51,065 Okay. 815 00:35:20,482 --> 00:35:22,897 Is that her? 816 00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:25,057 Stay here. I'll go get your medications. 817 00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:27,065 Yeah, okay. 818 00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:28,685 Hey, hey. 819 00:35:28,688 --> 00:35:30,106 Looking good, Dr. Jones. 820 00:35:30,108 --> 00:35:31,566 Thanks, Baxter. 821 00:35:36,942 --> 00:35:39,190 Uh, Dr. Jones? 822 00:35:39,192 --> 00:35:40,940 Dr. Ingrid Jones? 823 00:35:40,942 --> 00:35:42,119 That's her? 824 00:35:42,122 --> 00:35:43,856 Yes? 825 00:35:43,858 --> 00:35:45,689 We met the other day in the ER. 826 00:35:45,691 --> 00:35:47,816 You lured me in with Vicodin? 827 00:35:49,036 --> 00:35:51,950 Bitch-slapped me, called me Timmy? 828 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,116 You kissed me on behalf of Sarah Beth? 829 00:35:58,576 --> 00:36:00,326 You must have the wrong person. 830 00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:06,564 Baxter, tell Randy I'll be in my car. 831 00:36:06,566 --> 00:36:07,939 Oh, but... uh... 832 00:36:07,942 --> 00:36:10,481 Um... 833 00:36:10,483 --> 00:36:13,439 She was so different the other day. 834 00:36:13,441 --> 00:36:16,294 We really had a connection. She's so normal now. 835 00:36:16,297 --> 00:36:17,773 Well, they're always that way when they get released 836 00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:19,148 from here, Frank. You know that. 837 00:36:19,150 --> 00:36:20,416 I guess it's been a while. 838 00:36:20,419 --> 00:36:22,041 That man she was with, Randy? 839 00:36:22,044 --> 00:36:24,981 Yeah, her ex-husband. 840 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,522 Good to know. 841 00:36:26,524 --> 00:36:28,397 W-w-what do you think? 842 00:36:28,399 --> 00:36:29,622 I don't know. 843 00:36:29,625 --> 00:36:31,700 Looks like she could shatter your kneecap. 844 00:36:31,703 --> 00:36:33,660 She really does, doesn't she? 845 00:36:33,663 --> 00:36:35,204 Come on. 846 00:36:38,328 --> 00:36:40,773 - That's some bullshit! - Where's my shit, motherfucker? 847 00:36:40,775 --> 00:36:42,773 You didn't tell me we were having dinner in the ghetto. 848 00:36:42,775 --> 00:36:44,481 Hey, you had me running around the city all day. 849 00:36:44,483 --> 00:36:45,356 Least you could do is hang here until 850 00:36:45,358 --> 00:36:46,805 Barney comes to pick you up. 851 00:36:46,808 --> 00:36:50,106 Hope I don't get mugged in the meantime. 852 00:36:50,108 --> 00:36:51,773 Hurry up. 853 00:36:51,775 --> 00:36:53,816 You're gonna be late for your gang initiation. 854 00:37:04,995 --> 00:37:07,563 There she is. 855 00:37:09,983 --> 00:37:11,731 - They're leaving. - Shit. 856 00:37:16,483 --> 00:37:18,898 What? 857 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:20,481 Frank, what about me? 858 00:37:20,483 --> 00:37:23,190 Uh, take the, uh, number 16 bus. 859 00:37:26,261 --> 00:37:28,602 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, I have a better one. 860 00:37:28,605 --> 00:37:30,647 So Carl's, like, five or six years old, right? 861 00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:32,477 Enough with these Carl stories. 862 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,313 - Hey, let me get that. - No way. I want more. 863 00:37:34,316 --> 00:37:35,981 Me too. 864 00:37:35,983 --> 00:37:38,023 Wow, looks like you're the one going to prison. 865 00:37:38,025 --> 00:37:40,231 Mm, this is amazing. 866 00:37:40,233 --> 00:37:42,522 I can't believe you've never had White Castle before. 867 00:37:42,524 --> 00:37:44,731 I only eat carrots, and then I throw them up. 868 00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:46,814 Come on, tell the story. 869 00:37:46,816 --> 00:37:48,563 All right, so he's five or six years old... 870 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:50,444 Wait-wait-wait, is this the penis or the cat story? 871 00:37:50,446 --> 00:37:51,981 - Penis. - Shit. 872 00:37:51,983 --> 00:37:54,481 And he thought pee was stored in his scrotum. 873 00:37:54,483 --> 00:37:56,414 - No. - But he called it his... 874 00:37:56,417 --> 00:37:57,499 - Bubble gum. - Yeah. 875 00:37:57,502 --> 00:37:58,814 'Cause it looks like bubble gum. 876 00:37:58,816 --> 00:38:00,272 He took a screwdriver... 877 00:38:00,274 --> 00:38:02,031 - No! - Yeah. Yep. 878 00:38:02,034 --> 00:38:03,648 - Is that what that scar is? - Uh-huh. 879 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:05,438 Well, and why the hell'd you do that? 880 00:38:05,441 --> 00:38:07,733 I thought I'd save some time, bypass the penis. 881 00:38:07,736 --> 00:38:08,896 Creative. 882 00:38:08,899 --> 00:38:10,271 See? I'm a genius. 883 00:38:10,274 --> 00:38:11,564 Yeah, you're a genius. 884 00:38:11,566 --> 00:38:12,856 Did pee come out? 885 00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:14,039 It smelled like pee. 886 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:16,036 - Oh, God. - What a genius. 887 00:38:16,039 --> 00:38:17,940 Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. 888 00:38:17,942 --> 00:38:19,438 I got stuck on the El for 20 minutes. 889 00:38:19,441 --> 00:38:20,569 - Nice. - Hey, what's going on, Deb? 890 00:38:20,571 --> 00:38:22,940 Ooh. 891 00:38:22,942 --> 00:38:25,023 Yes. 892 00:38:25,025 --> 00:38:27,981 - Was it two? - Was it? 893 00:38:27,983 --> 00:38:30,023 Why is that chick from those makeup commercials 894 00:38:30,025 --> 00:38:32,648 having dinner with us? 895 00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:34,023 Oh, shit, that's you. 896 00:38:34,025 --> 00:38:35,898 - Mm. - Hey, she's also done 897 00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:38,606 17 movies and 4 TV shows. 898 00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:40,297 And nominated for three Golden Globes 899 00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:41,689 - and a People's Choice Award. - Whoa. 900 00:38:41,691 --> 00:38:42,731 You're famous. 901 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:43,773 You make a lot of money 902 00:38:43,775 --> 00:38:44,922 doing those commercials, huh? 903 00:38:44,924 --> 00:38:46,005 Hey. 904 00:38:46,008 --> 00:38:47,065 What? 905 00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:48,439 Say the line. 906 00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:50,305 - No. - Oh, you guys, 907 00:38:50,308 --> 00:38:51,898 come on, come on, come on. 908 00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:53,065 Come on. 909 00:38:53,114 --> 00:38:54,446 Come on. 910 00:38:58,399 --> 00:39:00,522 Face it. You're gorgeous. 911 00:39:00,524 --> 00:39:01,689 Wow. 912 00:39:01,691 --> 00:39:02,981 Whoo, whoo! 913 00:39:02,983 --> 00:39:04,356 Nice. 914 00:39:04,358 --> 00:39:06,356 Okay, now the Carl cat story. 915 00:39:06,358 --> 00:39:08,200 - Debs, you take this one. - Shit. 916 00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:18,522 Hey, turn off the music! 917 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:22,969 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 918 00:39:23,031 --> 00:39:27,528 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 919 00:39:27,531 --> 00:39:29,940 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 920 00:39:29,942 --> 00:39:32,773 ♪ Dear Linus ♪ 921 00:39:32,775 --> 00:39:36,856 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 922 00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:39,023 Whoo! 923 00:39:39,025 --> 00:39:40,858 Yeah! 924 00:39:42,192 --> 00:39:45,689 Ugh, I ate more tonight than I've eaten in a month. 925 00:39:45,691 --> 00:39:48,297 Hey, uh, you realize 926 00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:49,731 you haven't talked about having a drink 927 00:39:49,733 --> 00:39:51,397 since you've been here? 928 00:39:51,399 --> 00:39:53,008 I guess I felt comfortable. 929 00:39:53,011 --> 00:39:54,606 Plus, I can't drink after 7:00 anyway, 930 00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:55,936 because everyone's gonna smell it on me 931 00:39:55,938 --> 00:39:57,190 at my meeting tomorrow morning. 932 00:39:57,192 --> 00:39:58,773 Aye. 933 00:39:58,775 --> 00:40:00,814 How's my shiv looking? 934 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:02,547 Mm, sharper. 935 00:40:02,550 --> 00:40:04,230 That thing can't puncture flesh. 936 00:40:04,233 --> 00:40:06,231 E... see, look at mine. Mm? 937 00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:07,383 Oh, wow. 938 00:40:07,386 --> 00:40:10,008 Take that, you rape-y pillow. 939 00:40:10,011 --> 00:40:12,696 Uh, can I give my two cents about prison? 940 00:40:13,617 --> 00:40:14,773 Sure. 941 00:40:14,775 --> 00:40:16,272 Find a hobby. 942 00:40:16,274 --> 00:40:18,190 Makes the time go so much faster. 943 00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:19,836 Oh, papier-mâché's good. 944 00:40:19,839 --> 00:40:22,563 Easy to do with toilet paper, glue, and water. 945 00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:24,427 You learn that from one of your movies? 946 00:40:24,430 --> 00:40:25,773 Bitch, please. 947 00:40:25,775 --> 00:40:27,314 I served time. 948 00:40:27,316 --> 00:40:29,272 48 hours for DUI. 949 00:40:29,274 --> 00:40:31,314 Oh, I didn't know I was in the company 950 00:40:31,316 --> 00:40:33,689 of such a badass. 951 00:40:33,691 --> 00:40:35,481 Maybe I should go to prison, too. 952 00:40:35,483 --> 00:40:37,981 Seems like the only way I'll find a real relationship. 953 00:40:37,983 --> 00:40:39,314 That's not true. 954 00:40:39,316 --> 00:40:41,439 It is. I'm unlucky in love. 955 00:40:41,442 --> 00:40:42,857 Men, women... 956 00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:45,648 Hey, you're a special woman. 957 00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:47,940 You don't want just anyone. 958 00:40:47,942 --> 00:40:50,566 No, you... you want somebody who gets you. 959 00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:04,397 I played a lesbian once in a movie. 960 00:41:04,399 --> 00:41:06,270 - Whoa. - Wow. 961 00:41:06,273 --> 00:41:07,688 Face it, 962 00:41:07,691 --> 00:41:09,190 you're gorgeous! 963 00:41:15,274 --> 00:41:20,231 If I don't come up with 25 grand... 964 00:41:20,233 --> 00:41:22,898 I'm gonna be in default on my partnership agreement 965 00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,231 and lose 966 00:41:24,233 --> 00:41:27,108 my $100,000 investment. 967 00:41:28,858 --> 00:41:30,858 I got my car repo-d this week. 968 00:41:35,149 --> 00:41:37,521 And I'll have to foreclose 969 00:41:37,524 --> 00:41:39,898 on my apartment building, 970 00:41:39,901 --> 00:41:43,943 and my credit will just be... ruined. 971 00:41:46,316 --> 00:41:47,773 My mom and I are getting kicked out 972 00:41:47,775 --> 00:41:49,524 of our Section 8 housing. 973 00:41:52,858 --> 00:41:54,272 That sucks. 974 00:41:55,733 --> 00:41:56,942 I'm sorry. 975 00:42:04,233 --> 00:42:06,190 What was that? 976 00:42:06,192 --> 00:42:07,524 Looked like a dick. 977 00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,254 Huh. 978 00:42:23,535 --> 00:42:25,439 Bye-bye, hot pink anal beads. 979 00:42:25,441 --> 00:42:28,148 We never really used them, anyway. 980 00:42:28,150 --> 00:42:29,733 I did. 981 00:42:31,358 --> 00:42:33,272 When you were visiting your mother. 982 00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:34,481 You did? 983 00:42:34,483 --> 00:42:36,314 Oh, yeah. 984 00:42:36,316 --> 00:42:37,814 I was so stressed that night. 985 00:42:37,816 --> 00:42:39,356 I thought I lost one inside me. 986 00:42:39,358 --> 00:42:41,160 I couldn't remember 987 00:42:41,163 --> 00:42:43,431 if I started out with five or six beads. 988 00:42:45,274 --> 00:42:46,816 Good riddance. 989 00:42:50,858 --> 00:42:53,942 Someone is up there, throwing stuff. 990 00:43:00,274 --> 00:43:02,238 No. 991 00:43:02,241 --> 00:43:04,615 I... I can't. I... I... 992 00:43:04,618 --> 00:43:07,065 I have a boyfriend. Oh, 993 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:08,457 and I... I lied to him, 994 00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:11,231 and he's really mad at me. 995 00:43:11,233 --> 00:43:13,775 I might've fucked the whole thing up. 996 00:43:17,399 --> 00:43:19,274 I have to apologize. 997 00:43:45,566 --> 00:43:46,733 Hey. 998 00:43:48,150 --> 00:43:50,314 For your commissary account. 999 00:43:55,358 --> 00:43:56,782 I'll pay you back. 1000 00:43:56,785 --> 00:43:58,481 No, you won't. 1001 00:44:56,524 --> 00:44:57,940 Are you stalking me? 1002 00:44:57,942 --> 00:45:00,773 Do I need to call the police? 1003 00:45:00,775 --> 00:45:01,983 I know it was you. 1004 00:45:04,650 --> 00:45:07,190 I was having a bad day. 1005 00:45:07,192 --> 00:45:09,898 My medications were off. 1006 00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:11,731 Wasn't the real me. 1007 00:45:11,733 --> 00:45:15,190 I think it was the real you, and I loved it. 1008 00:45:15,192 --> 00:45:17,272 What? 1009 00:45:17,274 --> 00:45:19,648 You don't have anything to be ashamed of. 1010 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,399 You are fantastic. 1011 00:45:23,733 --> 00:45:25,733 I wish I were normal. 1012 00:45:26,483 --> 00:45:27,608 Why? 1013 00:45:29,192 --> 00:45:31,900 I-I don't really like that part of me. 1014 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,233 I do. 1015 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,814 Hi, it's me. 1016 00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:49,067 I'm sorry about our stupid fight. 1017 00:46:03,226 --> 00:46:04,522 You... 1018 00:46:11,233 --> 00:46:14,314 Hi, it's me. You didn't come home. 1019 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:16,522 Call me. 1020 00:46:20,524 --> 00:46:23,106 Oh. 1021 00:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,522 Oh, I can't... 1022 00:47:41,858 --> 00:47:44,065 Hi. Is Ford here? 1023 00:47:44,067 --> 00:47:46,190 Do you know what time it is? 1024 00:47:46,192 --> 00:47:47,566 What's going on? 1025 00:47:52,106 --> 00:47:53,356 Fiona. 1026 00:47:55,858 --> 00:47:57,150 I got this, Patty. 1027 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,271 Patty. 1028 00:48:00,274 --> 00:48:03,439 You s... You said Patty was your mother. 1029 00:48:03,441 --> 00:48:04,983 I'm his wife. 1030 00:48:05,942 --> 00:48:07,465 Daddy... 1031 00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:10,774 I can't sleep. 1032 00:48:10,775 --> 00:48:12,439 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 1033 00:48:12,441 --> 00:48:13,940 Let's go back to bed. 1034 00:48:13,942 --> 00:48:15,431 Fiona... 1035 00:48:15,434 --> 00:48:17,481 I'm such a fucking idiot. 1036 00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:20,148 Fiona, wait. Patty and I are separated. 1037 00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,773 That didn't look separated to me. 1038 00:48:21,775 --> 00:48:23,318 We're getting a divorce. 1039 00:48:23,321 --> 00:48:24,728 Why wouldn't you just 1040 00:48:24,731 --> 00:48:26,065 tell me that you're married? 1041 00:48:26,067 --> 00:48:27,648 We stayed together for the kid. 1042 00:48:27,650 --> 00:48:29,606 Oh. 1043 00:48:29,608 --> 00:48:32,940 Holy shit, you're a fucking asshole. 1044 00:48:32,942 --> 00:48:35,231 Fiona, just listen to me. 1045 00:48:35,234 --> 00:48:36,509 Fiona. 1046 00:48:36,512 --> 00:48:37,648 Can't believe this... 1047 00:48:37,650 --> 00:48:39,522 Fiona, listen to me for a second. 1048 00:48:39,524 --> 00:48:41,166 This is fucking... take your fucking hand off my car. 1049 00:48:41,168 --> 00:48:42,270 Don't do this, Fiona. 1050 00:48:42,273 --> 00:48:43,593 - Take your fucking hand... - No way! Fucking no! 1051 00:48:43,595 --> 00:48:45,442 Take your fucking hands off my car! 1052 00:48:45,445 --> 00:48:48,105 Fiona! Fiona! 1053 00:48:54,358 --> 00:48:55,731 Fiona! 1054 00:48:55,801 --> 00:48:57,689 Fiona! 1055 00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:05,314 Don't touch me. Don't touch me. 1056 00:49:05,316 --> 00:49:07,981 - Relax, relax. - Fu-fuck. 1057 00:49:07,983 --> 00:49:10,731 She's bleeding. She's fucking bleeding. 1058 00:49:10,733 --> 00:49:12,397 Oh, fuck... 1059 00:49:12,399 --> 00:49:14,648 - Fiona... - Fuck.... 1060 00:49:16,585 --> 00:49:18,124 Oh, fuck. 1061 00:49:18,127 --> 00:49:19,564 Fuck. 1062 00:49:19,566 --> 00:49:21,731 Fiona! 1063 00:49:29,249 --> 00:49:31,272 You sure she said she was gonna drive you? 1064 00:49:31,274 --> 00:49:32,773 Yep. 1065 00:49:32,775 --> 00:49:34,399 Still going to voice mail. 1066 00:49:37,025 --> 00:49:38,637 How about Uncle Kev drives you? 1067 00:49:40,983 --> 00:49:42,773 I'll go get my truck. 1068 00:49:42,775 --> 00:49:44,106 Thanks, man. 1069 00:50:19,108 --> 00:50:20,358 All right. 1070 00:50:22,316 --> 00:50:24,356 I, uh... 1071 00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:25,898 thought Geneva and some of the others 1072 00:50:25,900 --> 00:50:27,358 would be here, but... 1073 00:50:28,934 --> 00:50:31,397 You can only count on family, dude. 1074 00:50:35,025 --> 00:50:36,814 I'm gonna miss you. 1075 00:50:49,358 --> 00:50:51,065 Don't get too raped in there, all right? 1076 00:50:51,067 --> 00:50:52,137 - Kevin! - I'm sorry. 1077 00:50:52,140 --> 00:50:53,981 I don't know what to say in these situations. 1078 00:50:53,984 --> 00:50:55,734 How about "Bye" and "I love you"? 1079 00:50:57,358 --> 00:50:59,231 B-bye, man. 1080 00:50:59,233 --> 00:51:00,856 I love you. 1081 00:51:00,858 --> 00:51:02,356 I love you guys, too. 1082 00:51:08,775 --> 00:51:10,441 Hey, uh... 1083 00:51:14,399 --> 00:51:16,190 Thanks for being my brother. 1084 00:51:16,192 --> 00:51:18,731 Uh, never had a choice. 1085 00:51:26,233 --> 00:51:28,898 All right. 1086 00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,215 See you guys. 1087 00:51:31,574 --> 00:51:32,739 Have a good one. 1088 00:51:32,742 --> 00:51:33,754 See ya. 1089 00:51:34,983 --> 00:51:36,358 Open up! 1090 00:51:39,025 --> 00:51:40,106 Let's go. 1091 00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:20,566 Knock it off. 1092 00:52:50,524 --> 00:52:52,415 I rolled on the cartel I was working for, 1093 00:52:52,418 --> 00:52:55,023 and in exchange, guess who gets 1094 00:52:55,025 --> 00:52:56,939 to pick where he gets locked up? 1095 00:52:56,942 --> 00:52:59,065 Holy fuck. 1096 00:52:59,067 --> 00:53:01,824 Oh, hey, I got bottom, 1097 00:53:01,827 --> 00:53:03,648 so... 1098 00:53:03,650 --> 00:53:06,314 you're on top. 1099 00:53:33,567 --> 00:53:36,912 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 73879

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