Original subtitles

We're arriving.

Hurry.

Here we are.

Look there!

Can you see what I see?

Holy shit!

Who is that bastard who dares taking our place?

It got to be a joke.

Wait a minute little scum.

We won't miss him.

Come on, help us.

3 glasses, as usual.

- Full to the brim. - Yes Sir.

Is that yours?

Excuse me?

This car, is it yours?

I'd like to know who allowed you.

Mister doesn't live in Paris.

Who cares?

Otherwise he would know that this place is mine!

I see, I see. So I am the wrong one.

What's happening?

What do you want?

Those people are permanent,

so they have some rights.

Well, well.

I beg your pardon for damaging you privileges.

But I won't congratulate you.

We're not asking for that.

That would take the cake.

See you soon, idiot!

Listen.

I'm planning on a vengeance.

This evening, for the first time in my life,

somebody hurt me.

My little car was moved

without my agreement.

This little monster deserves a good lesson.

Cruel.

He doesn't know Ronald.

For an eye, the face.

For a teeth...

But we have to wait.

Let's be patient.

Let's be hypocritical.

Let's be another.

Let's make up our smile.

I'll get it.

Yes?

Who are you calling for?

Who's talking?

No Sir, he's not home yet.

With my smoking I'll tell him Sir.

I'll tell him Sir.

Yes, I'll tell him.

Good bye Sir.

I'll get my vengeance.

I don't know how yet...

but God will participate.

I need a miracle.

Satan is mine!

Who is she?

Amboisine.

- You know her? - A little bit.

She's cheeky.

The most beautiful butt of the city.

Admirable.

What a nice ass.

Are we going?

Let's go.

She went there.

Here she is.

Bernard, help me.

I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I don't know you.

Now that we've met, can I go to your home?

Are you living alone?

My house is too small for the two of us.

Good bye.

Wait a minute!

I said good bye.

How big is your house?

We'll see.

Admit that you're disconcerting.

I can change my mind.

Be quiet. The caretaker is redoubtable.

Saint-Gobin.

La Jugeotte.

You're crazy. My uncle's sleeping. If he wakes up, he'll cut off my allowance.

Show some tact please.

What is La Jugeotte?

My name.

You real name?

Yes, like Saint-Gobin for you.

Where will I sleep?

Here.

It's not very appropriate.

Well, aren't we friends?

Yes.

But when we sleep together, we make love.

Of course.

That's the point.

Does it bother you?

That's not it.

So what?

You're in a hurry.

Hurry up.

Are you deaf?

If my uncle come in, I'm dead.

Careful, he's coming!

You came back late yesterday.

Really?

At my age I sleep with one eye open.

This mess is probably...

Watch out, you're gonna tear my clothes.

The more torn the more fashion.

You're an early riser today, what's happening?

Well, I...

I have a lesson.

A lesson?

Yes. By the way, I need some gas.

Take a bus.

Uncle.

Are you serious?

Am I serious? I hear "Am I serious"!

Well,

how much do you need?

I don't know... 50000.

30000.

Here is...

20000.

Thank you uncle.

Don't thank me, it's a pleasure.

But no more burnout.

The miracle happened,

thank you Satan.

Not a word, lovely witch.

Hello Madam.

I'm listening to you.

What to you need?

50 stinking bombs.

I have no more.

I've just sold all I have to this man.

Maybe he will sell you some.

Certainly not.

Is it a gift?

You're an angel,

your daisy where a pleasure.

I couldn't find chrysanthemums.

What does he do?

He's fantastic.

I forgot the strawberries.

Strawberries of love.

Let's go to the other room.

I didn't know you love painting.

Here is the radio from the vernissage of the gallery...

Blessed be this vernissage

who let us met again.

I admit you impressed me.

Why?

I didn't think you could act.

Talk big, yes.

Argue endlessly in front of your friends, ok.

But be an action man...

You're too kind.

But my efficient isn't worth yours.

You're very young.

I am experienced.

Dear Ronald.

Dear Arthur.

Haven't you finished the talk?

We need to breath.

I was going to say it.

If you steal my sentences,

we'll be friends.

I invite you for diner.

We'll get to know each other better.

Here is the sun.

Nothing wakes you up better than sunlight.

Children, I got to go.

Where?

A lunch with my aunt Suzanne.

Is this also yours?

Yes.

It must be expensive.

Yes. The most expensive but the chicest.

How rich!

Yeah.

Do you know that Charlie Chaplin and Bernard Buffet have the same one?

I'm hungry.

Really? I invite you.

That's a good idea.

But not like that.

She is very elegant and cousin Henri doesn't joke with this.

Cousin Henri?

He doesn't matter. Come.

It's very beautiful.

How much is it?

It's wonderful.

150.

Here my dear.

It was made to suit you.

Yes, it's nice.

Alright,

try to seduce cousin Henri.

It's already done.

Excuse me.

Miss.

Mom.

When is the marriage?

In 2 years.

Yes, when she finishes her studies.

Congratulations.

It's a long time.

It's life.

I need the fianc�.

The fianc�, I want him.

Are you crazy?

She pinched me.

She makes me regretting my young days.

Not there.

Here, on the table.

Yes Madam.

Goodbye Madame.

Goodbye my dear.

Goodbye.

Excuse me.

Adorable.

See you tonight.

I pick you up at 6?

Yes.

Goodbye.

Henri.

Yes Ronald?

Henri, show the house to my friends.

It will be a pleasure Ronald.

Please follow me,

I'll show you the bedroom of a mathematician.

What does the cross mean?

Do you like classical music?

Massenet, Bruno, L�on Devi, Rimsky-Korsakov...

Come on, tell us what the cross means.

What?

The cross, here.

Come here and sit down.

It's funny how comfortable I am with you.

Show me what you look like without glasses.

Ok, but I can't see without it.

Who are these people?

I beg you pardon.

What are they doing?

I wonder.

Take off your tie.

Are you undressing me?

- Yes. - Really?

It's better like that.

And your collar...

Well, it's more decent.

You look American like that.

- Sportive? - Yes.

That's how I love it.

I'm going to the dining room.

Your house is very sweet.

Did you see the whole house?

How noisy.

I'll tell them to lower.

No no no no no no...

They are doing it for Rimsky-Korsakov.

I don't care, it's beautiful.

It was for you.

It's the domestic.

She is Spanish.

You have to bear their idiosyncrasy

if you want to keep them.

Ronald, sonny boy,

I really need you

for my annual donation.

You know dear aunt

that as long as it concern charity I'll be here for you.

Find me some sideshow.

Attractions that would be original.

Decorate my summer room.

You have delightful tastes.

Good bye. See you later.

Come back. Good bye.

Tell me, will you introduce me to other fianc�s?

Do you like them?

It amuses me. It amuses me.

It amuses me.

She's right, it's amusing.

Are you coming with us?

Put the table here.

Put lights. Put a seat here with chairs.

And... a beautiful chair.

Did you learn your text?

Put it there.

Find some place.

I have something to tell you.

I'm in a hurry.

How is Arthur doing?

He's fine but I have caught cold.

Blow your nose.

Do you like Beethov'?

Yes. Yes.

Tomorrow.

My dear you have to lose weight.

Sometimes I find Arthur funnier.

To each age his pleasures.

Amen.

I'm relying on you for my charity.

That's enough!

Will you shut up?

How are the fianc�s doing?

They are sappy.

Sappy!

The 6...

and the 2.

The 62.

- 62? - Yes Miss, 62.

- It's me. - Thank you Miss.

Look at that teddy bear.

A beautiful teddy bear.

Thank you in the name of the orphans.

Thank you.

Hello Mister President.

We'll proceed to a new draw.

The 5...

and the 6.

The 56.

Mister President.

Madam President?

My wife.

I introduce you to my son, a mathematician.

Nice to meet you Mister President.

His fianc�e.

Mister. Madam.

Madam President.

Let me introduce you to my nephew, Ronald.

Ronald!

Madam.

He decored this room.

Congratulations.

Yes yes yes.

Your orphans are very lucky. Congratulations.

You are their providence.

Did you invite them?

They wouldn't be at ease.

One of our poor.

Don't worry, I'll get them.

No doubt.

I'll get them too.

Mister President,

Ladies,

Gentlemen.

I thought it might be agreeable

to watch a dancing and singing show

while you are drinking your tea for the orphans.

Let me introduce you to Xavi�re Monsablon.

Who will kindly perform for us.

My glasses.

Thank you.

Jules!

Shut up.

I'm so gauche.

In a totally different style,

here is the one you didn't forget,

the one that made you dream in 19... something at the Folies Parisiennes:

here is Primprenelle... de Folini!

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, it's me.

- Look. - What?

I hope I haven't changed too much.

What does that mean?

It's awful.

Yes.

She's so old.

Oldness is waiting for us all.

Why did you do that?

To be honest.

Beauty scandalize them.

Oldness scandalize them.

Everything scandalize them.

You have to go throughout things,

because what doesn't worry is dishonest.

Mister President,

Ladies, Gentlemen.

Our show is now over.

You've understood, I hope, its meaning.

Otherwise, listen carefully.

Your charity is only countenance.

Your work is a bunch of selfishness.

You think you're appeasing your conscience with petit-four...

but you're animated by vanity.

You don't care about orphans at all. Neither do I.

They were just a way to receive your legion of merit.

So you're taking the chair,

you're happy,

you're earning a living with your work.

But you are all practical jokers,

out of fashion, ghosts, puppets, corpses!

Corpses.

I could abandon you to your follies,

your indigestions, your sins.

But I prefer to condemn you Inquisitors

to Hell and this smoke!

Here is the radio from the charity in the 16th arrondissement...

Thank you for this beautiful day.

Don't thank me, you were indispensable.

I didn't help much.

You were indispensable.

Come on.

No, I'll take her off for the evening if you don't mind.

Why?

No indiscretion please.

You don't mind, do you?

Ok, goodbye.

Hurry up, it's not that late.

What did you do?

Did you have fun?

Not so good.

Ronald is gentle, isn't he?

Hmmm...

I'm embarrassed.

I saw my uncle and I have to leave for 2 days.

What for?

Some boring stuff.

A history of countryside property.

I have to go to sign the papers.

I'll leave you the house for 2 days.

Are you happy?

Adorable.

This way.

We must have boring lives to create such things.

I find this ambiance very Roman.

Fuck your Roman ambiance.

When are the Agathes?

What?

When do we eat?

When you want to.

One second, I have something to say.

All of you listen!

Silence!

Since we are abusing the involuntary hospitality of little Arthur's uncle,

since we are drinking his bottles,

since Ambroisine didn't wait for her lover to leave to organize a party,

since we are, you and me, involved in a crime up to the neck,

let's have style to forgive our cheek.

Since all roads lead to Rome,

let's follow an itinerary worthy of us.

I want no orgy.

I forbid all gesture of love.

We are here to drink, to have fun,

to eat, to play and to break everything.

But before, let's explore the sky.

Hello Misters.

Thank you.

What do you want?

An amuse-gueule?

An amuse-gueule? What is an amuse-gueule?

An amuse-gueule is ham, rosette and then pie dish.

- That's all? - That's all.

That's ok, have an amuse-gueule and we'll see later.

- 2 amuse-gueule. - 2 amuse-gueule, yes Sir.

And after?

We'll see later.

Let the fun begin!

Come on!

He won!

He won!

Hail to the winner!

Hail to the winner.

Here is the Boribot. Is it inside?

Yes Sir.

It smells good.

It's very appetizing.

Thank you.

What is that?

- Grapes. - Grapes?

Thank you Miss.

You put some on your shirt.

- Where? - Here.

No, you must be seeing double.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Bring the dessert list please.

Good wine.

Quite good.

- Would you like some? - Yes.

Excuse me.

Animal!

How do you like it?

Good good good.

- Sir? - Do you have creampie?

- Yes Sir. - One creampie.

Here is the pie.

The creampie.

A big big piece for me.

Big.

Thank you.

Sorry Miss, I broke a glass.

- No problem. - No problem!

A rich plowman.

Feeling his death coming.

Call for his children.

Talk to them with no witness.

Be careful he said.

Give me my cuff links please.

Come here, I'll put it on.

Sometimes it's convenient to have a woman at home.

I can do without cuff links.

Alright, you're first.

Today I give you an A

but stop it.

There.

At this time little Arthur is coming back.

Oh my God.

I'm dead.

Hello dear.

Aren't you happy to see me?

Are you bored?

Are you ok?

Is it because the house is messy?

Is that all you can say?

Don't you realize?

The parrots, do you know how much it's worth?

All is not lost that is delayed.

And you're making fun of me!

What will I do?

Poor dear, don't be sad.

I beg you.

I know I'm a monster.

You're uncle will kick you out.

He'll cut your allowance.

You won't have gas to put in your car.

You won't go in holidays.

Your study is over.

You'll have to work.

It's better if we don't see again.

What?

I'm a bad angel.

Let's forget it.

I won't blame you to be a fool.

Do you know how much i missed you?

You're strange.

Who are you in love with?

Who else?

Don't, I'm the worst.

Don't start again.

After all, porcelain can be stuck again.

You're not jealous?

You should know that.

That's what I told Ronald but he didn't believe me.

Ronald?

What's so good with this guy?

Ronald?

Yes. You seem so fascinated since you and him...

You say things with a serious look.

He's amusing, amusing.

And he learn me a lot of things.

One can fall in love with a piano teacher.

In love with Ronald?

You're crazy.

It seems so. There's always a Ronald here, Ronald there...

Dear, are you sure you're fine?

There's nothing to laugh about.

This story of Ronald is making you ill.

I'm not ill.

I just wonder...

I can tell you one thing:

if I fall in love with Ronald I'll be a humpback.

Yes.

Arthur.

Yes?

You scared me,

I thought you hold it against me.

You shouldn't love me. It encumbers me, it's hopeless.

I'm not made for being loved.

You can't blame me for being a fool.

Look at this face.

He was making his cheeks red while we were in Paris.

Our Arthur knows how to live.

I'm glad Ambroisine told you about our invitation.

You're very kind.

What a beautiful crockery.

Don't exaggerate, I'm not a compulsive collector.

You're right, things have to be useful.

Absolutely, I hate uselessness.

By the way, sorry for our small party.

You know how things like that end up.

Yep.

Don't worry, I'll pay for the breakage.

Watch out, explosion!

You can see astrology and religion are compatible.

Do you have Cognac?

Look on the tray.

There's is none.

Drink something else.

No, I want Cognac.

There must be some left in the kitchen.

I'm coming with you.

No more cognac.

Maybe in the library.

Children there's only the linen room left.

Nothing in the linen room neither.

You'll do without Cognac.

I'm not lucky, I'm always the victim.

I think we should let our host sleep.

There's no hurry my dear.

We could stay until he fall asleep.

Good idea. Sing some lullaby.

And I don't really want to move.

Why don't we sleep here?

My beds are yours.

Why not.

What is it?

I was thirsty.

What if we wake Ronald with a start?

If you want.

Here is your breakfast.

Goodbye.

If she didn't exist we should create her.

We could do without this creation.

That's only your opinion.

It's my opinion.

You can live on your own.

Sometimes you are quite a jerk.

I'm sorry if sadness makes me be an idiot.

You're getting worked up with this girl.

She's not worth it, believe me.

I can do nothing. I love Ambroisine and it hurts.

It doesn't make you funnier.

It's boring.

And you know it.

And since you don't know what to do,

you making a cuckold face.

I'm not conventional enough to try to beat you up.

Yes, you're doing me a favor.

Enough Arthur.

I'll give you an advice because I like you.

Also because I don't want you to be an idiot.

Never tell Ambroisine you love her.

Act like me, seem indifferent.

It will make her react.

Then she will be the one falling for it.

A man shouldn't carry the supplies.

Neither should I.

- You don't care about the crayfish? - Not at all.

- So it will stay here. - It died of oldness.

Hey, what's wrong?

Tell me, what's wrong?

Tell me.

What's wrong?

- 2 tickets? - 1.

1.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Will you stop following me like a dog?

- Is it because of Ronald? - Fuck you!

Listen, I don't care about Ronald.

He's not funny.

Want one?

- Try. - It will be easy.

You're too disgusting. Go away I've seen you enough.

Look, this old woman on the cover looks like Arthur.

Sometimes I think you're almost a bitch.

Why?

I didn't say you're a bitch.

But you're close.

Although I like it.

You're very cruel with our little Arthur.

He's the one who's rude.

Of course.

Do you see him?

He's bothering.

What if he drowns himself?

He would never do that.

We're laughing, aren't we?

Aren't you laughing?

I think we're laughing.

No, we're not laughing?

Don't be pensive Ambroisine.

Listen to this Adagio.

Stop sulking.

My poor car...

You don't care about your car,

it's not about it.

- What is it about? - It's about Ambroisine.

- Are you crazy? - No.

I don't care about Ambroisine.

That's what you say...

I haven't seen her for 5 days.

It won't last.

1,000 Fr that you'll see her this week.

You can start economizing. And you're vulgar sentences are unbearable.

2.

Here are the lovers. Welcome.

We're not bothering you?

You? Oh...

- So how are you doing? - Wonderfully well.

Good. I'm very well too.

And you?

Oh...

We've got so much spirit today.

What are you telling me?

We're going to get married.

What?

No joke?

We're as surprised as you.

Now she has to get a good wife.

Of course I'll be the witness.

We came to ask you.

With such a news we'll drink some Cognac.

Watch out, now I'm someone respectable.

Hey, how are you doing Saint-Aubin?

Hello Sir.

Well, you didn't stand idle since philosophy.

It's a boy.

No, he's sleeping.

Well, congratulations.

I think you're on a good way.

Well Saint-Aubin, I won't hold you any longer.

Madam.

Goodbye Sir.

I'm hungry.

It's weird but this joke made me sad.

It's weird, me too.

Now you can trust me.

Sweetheart, good news: you're going to the Pyr�n�es tomorrow.

Wed, wed.

There'll still be something left.

When will you be in Cannes?

In 8 days.

Why?

For nothing.

I wanted to make sure you won't be bored without us.

See you soon.

Arthur.

My little Arthur.

You put my car on the sidewalk.

You'll pay for this.

We could live like that forever.

You would be bored after one month.

I'd be happy with you.

Yes, if we stay in Paris 10 months a year.

That's not unrealizable.

So what do we do?

What do you mean "what do we do"?

Are we getting married?

I don't know. What do you think?

What to you think?

What would be different?

- Nothing. - That's it.

But it's a lifetime promise.

That's what we were trying to avoid.

I can change my mind, can't I?

What would we live with?

My uncle is rich.

He's still young.

True.

And it's not with what he give me...

And for me? Do you think he could make an effort for me?

You don't know him.

We could borrow from your inheritance.

From who?

I don't know. Why not Ronald?

It's delicate.

He's not like that.

Still. Still...

Listen Arthur, we have to find a solution.

Money, what a problem.

Money is not vital, it doesn't make you happy.

So it's settled, we're getting married?

We're getting married.

My uncle will be very surprised.

Would you like to make a detour by Saint Flore?

I'm not sure I'll have time.

Ah?

Yes, I also have to make a detour. By Saumur.

What for?

To see my daughter.

Your daughter?

My daughter.

I have a daughter. I didn't tell you?

- Don't forget to give her the doll. - I'm not gonna keep it for me.

- Don't be late. - Don't neither.

If my uncle want me to stay a few days I won't be able to wriggle out of it.

If I arrive first I'll wait for you.

Do you love me?

Do you?

I have a hunch I do.

So kiss me.

Get into a line.

I'm not totally dry.

Hurry, come and dress up. We'll go shopping.

At last I'll believe you're in love with me.

Belief leads the world.

Dress up.

We're happy here together.

Let's go.

Ambroisine!

Ambroisine!

Ambroisine!

I'm sorry my angel, I have to go. See you soon.

Hello.

Hi.

Where is Ambroisine?

She's coming back in a few days.

- Isn't she in Paris? - I told you not.

I would know, wouldn't I?

Arthur.

You want to see Ronald? I think he will receive you.

Wait here.

"Arthur wants to see you".

Let him enter.

Do I bother you?

I have to say that if it wasn't you...

I would have had a row.

How were these holidays?

Marvelous.

Yours in Cannes?

So bad.

I branched off to Saint Tropez,

I ran out of money.

And you're marriage, any news?

My uncle was astonished but he is rich enough.

And Ambroisine?

She is in Saumur to let her family know.

It amazes you,

you didn't think you could go to the town hall.

You're wrong boy, you're wrong.

Why didn't you follow my advices?

You're hiding me something.

Ambroisine never went to Saumur.

I don't believe you.

Turn over,

I'll go out my bath.

I have a proof: I saw her in Cannes.

Do you know you're a great bastard?

He's becoming nasty. He's doubting his old friend.

Did you see her or not?

Don't shout like that.

Turn over.

Yes, I saw her.

Liar.

I'm civilized.

Come to the living-room, I have to talk to you.

Sit down.

Listen,

you'll be chocked.

I'd better tell you like a man.

Once upon a time a young man who loved Ambroisine.

Ambroisine...

don't make that face.

It's easy for you to judge. You're not crazy about her.

You're less that you think.

One day you'll forget about her.

Now occupy your mind with something else.

I believed it for so long.

You can't imagine how much.

It's my fault.

I conspired it.

I'm the only responsible.

Was it so fun to hurt me?

Ambroisine is a whim.

She like you you know.

But she like me too.

Don't you understand I love her for true?

I can't get it.

Listen Arthur.

You have to unhook before you become mad.

It never happened this way.

You'll be sad, very sad.

But one day you'll wake up and you'll be happy.

Ambroisine is mirage, a deception.

She doesn't exist.

- And there are other women. - I don't care!

Do you know where she is?

Honestly, I don't know.

One day I woke up and she had flown away.

You really don't know where she is?

Arthur,

I don't know where she is.

You know the proverb:

When women disappear,

the devil himself couldn't find his children.

Arthur where are you going?

Where are you going Arthur?

You could say goodbye.

Arthur broke the two vases in the hall.

Arthur.

Here we are, I got my vengeance.

But I don't understand.

For the first time of my life, I feel sad.

Can you understand?

No.

One year later.

See you later sweety, at the hotel.

- Can't you stay a bit? - You know I can't.

Goodbye.

What a surprise!

Ambroisine.

Let's walk my friend,

I don't want my henchmen to spy us.

Nice Matin, special edition.

Nice Matin, special edition.

Don't you kiss me?

Are you crazy? I'm married.

And I'm a seminarian.

I'm not joking.

Atomic plane crashes in Colombia: 17.000 deceased.

Don't play dumb.

You don't need to act like a clown in front of everybody.

Why?

You really don't want to kiss me?

No, please Arthur, have some behavior.

I have to hurry or I'll be late.

Are all those American for you?

They are men's of my husband.

He is the commander of the destroyer there.

Where there?

There.

Goodbye,

see you soon.

Ciao

You'll never be flighty again, Ambroisine.

You became American.

Subtitles: Tadanobu