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Previously on Kidding...
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00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,110
Maddy!
Piano time!
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00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:11,400
I'll take her.
4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,230
Did you hand-fuck my husband?
5
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,480
So what's your
second-favorite instrument?
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00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:17,560
ToyCo has been begging us
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00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,230
for a talking Jeff doll.
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00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,110
This year, we're finally
gonna give it to them.
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00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:22,360
We're talking the hottest
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00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,400
Christmas gift of the season.
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00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,810
In six weeks,
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I'm gonna be dead.
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00:00:27,690 --> 00:00:28,900
Vivian's not doing well.
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00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:32,520
My name is Viva Lost Pages.
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00:00:32,610 --> 00:00:34,020
What's one more Jeff?
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00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,610
There's a difference
between Mr. Pickles-san
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00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:38,020
of Japan, or Monsieur Cornichon
du France,
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00:00:38,110 --> 00:00:40,230
or Herr Gherkin von Deutschland.
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00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:51,810
Sayonara.
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00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:58,730
Katto!
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00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:10,190
Arigatou.
Arigatou.
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00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:19,770
Hai, arigatou gozaimasu.
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00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,940
Kintsugi.
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Pickles-san...
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00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,480
Whoa.
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00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,230
I see.
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00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,110
- Whoa.
- Ah.
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00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:27,560
I'm gonna need a tutorial.
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00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,150
First, what you need to do
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00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:30,940
is just tap the icon.
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00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,190
Put in the name of the person
you want to FaceTime.
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00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,310
This is gonna be awesome.
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00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:57,650
Whoa.
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00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,860
Whoa.
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00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,610
Whoa.
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00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:04,440
Whoa.
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00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,360
This is my friend Vivian.
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00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,560
She wasn't healthy enough
to make the trip.
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00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:10,860
She wanted to see the ocean.
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00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:11,860
Hello, Vivian.
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00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:13,440
Welcome to Los Angeles.
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00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,480
Whoa.
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00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:15,770
Whoa.
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00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,770
Whoa.
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00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,860
The ocean makes the sunset
look so special,
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00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:28,940
but you make it spectacular.
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00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:31,690
The sun is getting jealous.
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00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,310
You're welcome.
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00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:46,110
Dolphins!
Dolphins.
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00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,610
Do you see the dolphin?
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00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:48,650
There's a dolphin.
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00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,610
Hey.
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We need to talk
before he gets here.
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Okay.
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You first.
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00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,230
I've been thinking
about this a lot,
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00:04:12,310 --> 00:04:15,980
and I feel that...
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00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:18,520
if it would make you happier,
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00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:21,770
for M-Maddy to take piano again,
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00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,860
then she should take piano,
and I'll just deal with it.
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00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,110
Oh.
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00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,360
She seemed happier.
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00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,480
I don't think that's true.
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00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,900
Plus, she's getting
so good at clarinet.
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00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,270
- I am?
- Yes, honey.
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,860
I just think she may have
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00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,020
liked piano better,
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00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,190
and if her heart
is set on piano,
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00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:41,440
then you just... you can't change
someone's heart.
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00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,400
I think
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00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,560
piano was just a phase.
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00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:45,810
You do?
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00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:46,610
It was?
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00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:47,730
Yes, sweetheart.
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I think she was confused.
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00:04:49,270 --> 00:04:52,020
She was born a clarinet player.
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00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:54,270
Piano's just
this weird choice she made.
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00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,770
She was never really
committed to piano.
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00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,270
She... she probably wishes
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00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,400
she never took piano
in the first place.
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00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,940
Was I not good at piano?
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00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:03,900
It was awful.
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00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:04,900
Dee Dee, from now on,
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00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,270
we are strictly
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00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,690
a clarinet family.
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00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:10,060
I am committed
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00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:12,310
to making this
a clarinet family.
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00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,690
You guys need to be
more supportive of my dreams.
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00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,310
Konnichiwa.
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00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,520
Konnichiwa.
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00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:29,900
Pikurusu-san desu.
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00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:30,980
Maddy?
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00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,980
This is Mr. Pickles-san.
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00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,730
He's gonna follow Uncle Jeff
around for a few weeks
95
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,940
and then bring back
what he learned to Japan.
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00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:38,980
And occasionally babysit.
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00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:46,230
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry
Jeff couldn't host you.
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00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:47,860
His living situation
isn't optimal
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00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,060
to board guests right now.
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00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:52,480
My... English I...
Mm...
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00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,270
Not amazing.
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00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:00,810
Sado-Shimi.
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00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:10,810
Sado-Shimi?
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00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:11,940
Sou.
Sado-shimi.
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00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:12,940
Thank you.
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00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:13,980
Thank you.
107
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,480
Arigatou.
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00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,270
I have a message, all right,
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00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,730
but I don't know
if they're gonna like it.
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00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,650
We're ready to record
whenever you're ready.
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00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:47,520
Okay.
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00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:57,060
All of history
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00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,060
travels on the human voice.
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00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:03,730
Amplified, it can shear
a man in half,
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00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:06,730
sentence 2 million Polish Jews
to Dachau,
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00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:07,980
or spread the Book of Matthew
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00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,940
from Mount Zion
to a Roman river.
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Thousands of malleable minds
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00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:15,150
will rip this doll
off the shelf,
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00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:16,230
and I don't know
if they'll see it
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00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,270
as a god or gremlin.
122
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,650
But...
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00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,650
I won't drop nightshade
into children's ears.
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00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,440
Um, so, I don't think
we're allowed
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00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,270
to stray
from the approved script.
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00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,270
I'd like to,
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if that's all right.
128
00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:37,980
Of course.
What do you want to say?
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Allahu akbar!
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00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,480
Allahu akbar?
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00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,900
No, I don't like those words.
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00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:50,270
They scare the dirt off of me.
133
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,150
Well, maybe
they'll be less scary
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00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,110
if we explain what they mean.
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00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,560
Allahu akbar is an expression
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00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,440
that means
a lot of different things.
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00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,440
Mainly, it's used as a greeting,
138
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,730
like we say "Hello,"
"good-bye."
139
00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:05,560
Or... "aloha"?
140
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:08,060
That's right, Uke-Larry.
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00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,810
So if we went to Hawaii,
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00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,020
we could say,
"Aloha-u akbar."
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00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:15,650
Um... Sure.
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00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,690
Allahu akbar.
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00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:20,650
Forced to leave
their homes at gunpoint
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00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,230
and march on foot
with whatever they could carry.
147
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,310
It led to the deaths
of over 20,000
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00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,940
Indigenous Americans.
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00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:29,860
"Indigenous"?
150
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,520
Indigenous.
151
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:33,730
That means they were here first.
152
00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:36,520
The Cherokees called this
the Trail of Tears.
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00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:38,480
Oops.
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00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,230
That's right, Oops.
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00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:42,770
Even governments make mistakes.
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00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,730
Disconnect the teleprompters.
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00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,730
I did.
That's just him talking.
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00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:52,520
Grace and I
wrote him a powerful scene
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00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,190
in which Snagglehorse
goes apple-picking,
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00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:57,060
and he wrote,
"Despair is an eagle."
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00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,190
What does that mean?
162
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:04,270
Without a diverse group
of meaningful relationships,
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00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,150
we can't see certain populations
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00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,730
as actual people,
165
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,650
and we subconsciously
tune them out.
166
00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:12,480
And your depression is something
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00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,610
you should never
be afraid to talk about
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00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,060
with the people you love,
169
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,060
because if they really
love you...
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00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:20,230
They'd tell you
that Ronald McDonald
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00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,060
wants to walk our black youth
into a food desert
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00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,400
and leave them there
without their pants on,
173
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,520
because he wants
to charge you for water
174
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,360
and he wants
to charge you to pee.
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00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,690
Don't expect compliments
from an insecure person.
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00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,310
Too many people think
this country's
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00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,230
a stone-cold gray corpse,
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00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,650
but it's not.
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00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:41,060
It's a living,
breathing organism.
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00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,690
And we've got to keep kicking it
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00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:47,980
to make sure it's alive.
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00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:49,690
Yee-haw!
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00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,980
For every 90 minutes
of footage we shoot,
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00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,860
only 12 are borderline usable,
185
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,690
and that's before we cut out
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00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,650
the veiled Marxism
and songs about genocide.
187
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:00,940
Whoo... hoo!
188
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,400
The show was right there
189
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,400
beneath the surface
the whole time
190
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,270
I thought it was an end,
191
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,110
but it was just a rust
192
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:14,110
oxidized over the beginning.
193
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:21,110
Sorry.
I forgot my eyeballs.
194
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,190
Thank you.
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00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:33,110
Allahu akbar.
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00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,730
Good night.
197
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,860
He can do whatever he wants.
198
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:46,900
Say whatever he wants.
199
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,190
Maybe I want to look in a lens
200
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:50,730
and scream a little.
201
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,730
Not that they'd let me
near a camera.
202
00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:57,560
Sometimes, I... I'm Soap Scum's
203
00:10:57,650 --> 00:10:59,810
limp right hand, and even then,
204
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,650
it's obscured
by a shower curtain
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00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,690
that... I created
in my dorm room.
206
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,560
The true artist...
207
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:13,310
is both victim and warrior.
208
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,110
You speak English?
209
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,730
I'm not speaking English.
210
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,650
Oh.
211
00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,690
What makes your puppets special
212
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:44,440
is the life you put
inside of them,
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00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,060
not the people
hiding behind them.
214
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,980
What's your real name,
Pickles-san?
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00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,940
Mm, who I was doesn't matter.
216
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,770
I'm Pickles-san now,
217
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,150
always and forever.
218
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:08,980
Maybe we both like to hide.
219
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:13,020
I hide from myself all the time.
220
00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:16,360
I think that's why
I married Scott.
221
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,400
He's...
222
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,150
I didn't want to know myself,
223
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:23,650
so I chose a man
who could never know me.
224
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:28,270
He's the one who wanted kids.
225
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,980
I only exist
226
00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:31,310
for other people:
227
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,020
Maddy and Scott and Jeff
228
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:35,730
and my dad and...
229
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:41,190
It's easy to exist for them,
230
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:45,690
because I don't know how
to exist for myself.
231
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:50,270
I don't know how to want.
232
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,610
I'd rather bleed
in front of a doll
233
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:56,190
than live in front of my family.
234
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:01,900
That's how I grew up.
235
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:06,270
We are a family
who loves from afar.
236
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,900
But loving others
from afar means
237
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:11,810
what they give you in return
is always at a distance.
238
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:15,860
I'm better from afar.
239
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:18,310
I'm all scars up close.
240
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,440
You know of kintsugi?
241
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,810
Hm?
242
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,810
It is the practice of making art
243
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:28,190
by breaking something special
244
00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:31,190
and gluing it back together
with gold.
245
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,110
Your scars
246
00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:35,480
do not mean you are broken.
247
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,110
They are proof you are healed.
248
00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:40,150
Breaking is healing.
249
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,480
Kintsugi.
250
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:46,520
Kintsugi.
251
00:13:58,150 --> 00:13:59,690
I don't want you to think
that I chose somebody
252
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:01,230
who wouldn't be alive very long
253
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:04,980
because I thought we
were gonna get back together.
254
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,060
I didn't think that.
255
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,400
Usually, when your husband
256
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,730
starts dating a younger woman,
257
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:13,400
it reminds you
of your mortality.
258
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,020
Not this time.
259
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,980
I'm sorry if my actions
hurt you in any way.
260
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:23,900
Hey, I found
my next relationship
261
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,650
in a hospital hallway.
262
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,520
Maybe I led by example.
263
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:29,440
When I first saw Peter,
264
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,560
it was like watching
the "Challenger" explode,
265
00:14:31,650 --> 00:14:34,230
but you knew what you needed,
266
00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,980
and he put so much color
back in your cheeks.
267
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:39,400
Thank him for me.
268
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,060
Jeff, you know, nine times
out of ten, when someone
269
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,360
walks through that doorway,
they've just gotten
270
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,270
the worst news
that they will ever get
271
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:51,150
in their life.
272
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:54,690
So it would be best for her
273
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:57,190
if you could find a way
to convey that
274
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:59,520
her struggle
275
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:01,730
is your struggle.
276
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,860
We still have to deal
with Thursday.
277
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:11,730
I'd like you to come over
to Dee Dee's,
278
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,360
bring Peter.
279
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,810
You open to that?
280
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,110
- Yeah.
- Mm.
281
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,560
That was easier
than I thought it would be.
282
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:32,110
Whatever you need,
I'm here for you.
283
00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:37,730
The... second line
of treatment pushed
284
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,360
my white blood cell count
285
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,690
past the point of remission.
286
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:47,270
I'm in remission.
287
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,400
I love you so much.
288
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:55,230
Oh, my God.
289
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,900
I have so many credit cards
to pay off.
290
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:07,770
I am so, so happy
291
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,810
to hear the good news
about your health.
292
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,190
Thank you.
I'm... Vivian, by the way.
293
00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:14,770
I'm Seb.
294
00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:18,860
♪ "How Would They Know"
by Margaret Lewis playing ♪
295
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,400
♪ You say ♪
296
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,940
♪ Scarlet's my name ♪
297
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:26,190
Arigatou.
298
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,560
Put that back.
No, no,
299
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,110
we don't do that.
300
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,650
Oh, man!
301
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,110
I think it's a miracle.
302
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,400
If she's okay, Jeff's okay.
303
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,560
If Jeff's okay,
everything's normal again.
304
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:47,060
You think your sister
305
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,190
would let us watch
the National Dog Show?
306
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:50,810
I didn't know
you followed the Natties.
307
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,770
My nana bred two runners-up
308
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,110
and one that just plain
broke her heart.
309
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:58,520
I midwifed
the 2003 Best In Group terrier.
310
00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:00,810
I mean, I say that.
Really, I was just
311
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,520
passing through the kitchen
at the wrong time.
312
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,770
What about last year's
spaniel surprise?
313
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,900
Jaunty, yes.
Jovial, yes.
314
00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:09,560
Champion?
No, sir.
315
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,770
I feel the schnauzers
316
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,860
are under-coifed and overlooked.
317
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:16,480
Ever since the Scandinavians
started breeding them,
318
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,060
I've been thinking,
"When is their moment?"
319
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,860
Thank you.
320
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,980
My dad used to have a drawer
full of jigsaw puzzles.
321
00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,150
Now he has a drawer
full of condoms.
322
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,610
Mm, my mom thinks
I'm drinking grape juice,
323
00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:31,110
but really, it's wine.
324
00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:33,440
I'm going to start
the magic show.
325
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,730
Okay, honey.
326
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:36,310
I said I'm going to start
327
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,650
the magic show.
328
00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:41,150
Whatever.
329
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:43,440
Do you still say your prayers?
330
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:51,480
But... but... wait.
What do you say?
331
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,610
Most of America
eats turkey today,
332
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,060
but my family eats lasagna, too,
333
00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:59,770
because I'm Italian.
Do you like it?
334
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,190
Arigatou.
335
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,980
You know,
336
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:08,560
I had the best blowjob
of my life
337
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:11,270
on the bullet train to Kyoto.
338
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:17,520
Sucky, sucky.
Train, train.
339
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,860
- Hm?
- Fellatio.
340
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:21,980
Yes.
341
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,770
Here's to fellatio.
342
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,360
Blowjob.
343
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,150
Show me the charcoal under-rub
344
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:32,270
of a Swedish show dog,
and I will show you
345
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,940
the infinite potential
of canine husbandry.
346
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,060
That's right, Schnauzer.
Trot that circle.
347
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:39,190
Alvin-Britches
Dropbottom Delight
348
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:41,690
did not come to play
with you haughty bitches!
349
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,560
Vivian keeps talking about us
zip-lining through Honduras
350
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,110
and seeing the fish rain.
351
00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:52,520
You will never forget
the first time
352
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:55,150
you get kamikaze'd
by a red snapper.
353
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:57,060
Sorry, Pickles-san.
354
00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:59,150
Deirdre spent a lot of time
in Belize,
355
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:00,610
working with local populations.
356
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:01,980
Ah.
I mean, I've only
357
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:03,560
used my passport once.
358
00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:05,980
The pain meds are cheaper
in Toronto.
359
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:07,770
- Oh!
- So when
360
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:09,190
are you guys thinking of going?
361
00:19:09,270 --> 00:19:10,980
I was thinking midsummer,
right, Viv?
362
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,770
- Mm-hm.
- Could I come?
363
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,730
Will, sometimes,
364
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,980
couples like
365
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,650
to travel together.
Alone.
366
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:18,560
No, no, no.
The more, the merrier.
367
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:19,860
I want to go.
We have never
368
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,480
taken a vacation as a family.
369
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,860
We should talk about this
closer to June.
370
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:25,360
I want to go to Costa Rica.
371
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,270
I guess all of us could go.
372
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,650
Oh, whoa, I'm in...
you know, if invited.
373
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,730
And Scott could totally
plan this.
374
00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:31,770
My husband is a corporate
375
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,730
travel agent.
This would
376
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:34,060
be his Olympics.
377
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:35,650
Logistics are my aphrodisiac.
378
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,230
What if I pay
for the whole trip?
379
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,980
The Pickles take Honduras.
380
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:39,980
You don't have to do that.
381
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,400
Could we stay in another place
382
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,480
with chocolate-covered fruit?
383
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:43,610
Can I room with Grandpa?
384
00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:45,150
We make T-shirts for everybody.
385
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,440
"Out of the Way:
Pickles on Vacay."
386
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,020
I'll ask Derrell
to plan tomorrow.
387
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:49,810
Seb, this many people,
388
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,190
different last names,
389
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,810
hotel rooms?
Let me handle this.
390
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,610
I'm going alone.
391
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,650
You're right.
392
00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:02,810
We don't have to take
the whole family.
393
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:07,310
It can just be us.
394
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,860
Um, no.
I was gonna tell you later.
395
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,310
I bought a ticket,
and I'm going next week,
396
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,230
by myself.
397
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,900
I'm sorry, Jeff.
398
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:28,270
Just... everything that...
399
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,900
...changed when
everything changed,
400
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,900
and I get to start over.
401
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,150
I look at you,
402
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:37,690
and I see the man
who saved my life.
403
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:42,480
But I also see cancer
404
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,400
and... death.
405
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,770
I look at you,
you remind me of death.
406
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,810
And I have
this gift of time, and,
407
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:56,810
you know, this...
408
00:20:56,900 --> 00:21:00,060
us... it made sense
409
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,110
when time was running out.
410
00:21:05,610 --> 00:21:08,980
Now that I can...
411
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,110
plan ahead, I'm sorry.
412
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:11,560
Those plans don't involve you.
413
00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:13,770
I'm sorry.
They can't.
414
00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:21,730
I understand.
415
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:25,810
I'm...
416
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,110
happy for you.
417
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:34,400
Fuck you!
418
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,150
Yeah, fuck you!
419
00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:37,310
Fuck you, cunt!
420
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,400
Yeah, fuck you!
421
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,610
Fuck you.
422
00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:41,230
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
423
00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:42,270
Fuck you!
424
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,770
Fuck you, fuck you,
425
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:45,020
fuck you, fuck you!
426
00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:46,360
Fuck you!
427
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,190
Fuck you!
There's no chemo for dengue!
428
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:02,610
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪
429
00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:05,060
♪ And when I'm feeling low ♪
430
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,270
♪ Then I start
to think about ♪
431
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,400
♪ The happiest man I know ♪
432
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,560
♪ He doesn't mind the snow ♪
433
00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:13,860
♪ And he doesn't mind
the rain ♪
434
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:16,310
♪ But all December
you will hear him ♪
435
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,230
♪ At your windowpane ♪
436
00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:20,310
♪ A-singing again
and again and again ♪
437
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,730
♪ And again and again
and again ♪
438
00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:24,480
♪ Christmas is a-coming ♪
439
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,980
♪ And the bells
begin to ring ♪
440
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:30,860
♪ The holly's in the window
and the birds begin to sing ♪
441
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,270
♪ Now I don't take time
to worry ♪
442
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,360
♪ And don't take time
to fret ♪
443
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,480
♪ And the more you give
at Christmastime ♪
444
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,940
♪ The more you'll get ♪
445
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,310
The line
446
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,770
is "Welcome
to Pickle Barrel Falls,
447
00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,060
Viva Lost Pages.
448
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:01,310
Your new forever home."
449
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,770
Just...
450
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:09,650
give me a second.
451
00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:11,650
I can do it.
452
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,400
We don't have to do this today.
453
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:23,150
Mm...
454
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,560
We don't have to keep
Viva Lost Pages
455
00:23:28,650 --> 00:23:33,150
around if it's just gonna
dredge up painful memories.
456
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,190
A woman is gonna live.
457
00:23:38,270 --> 00:23:42,060
That's nothing short
of spectacular.
458
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:55,810
I don't really have an excuse
to come in here,
459
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:57,400
but... you can't
understand me anyway,
460
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,150
unless I'm holding a puppet.
461
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:00,030
I just...
462
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:22,310
May I tell you
the sad and sordid tale
463
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,940
of a queen enslaved by the demon
464
00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:25,310
locked in her vulva,
465
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,190
and the warrior
with a steel penis...
466
00:24:27,270 --> 00:24:29,900
whoosh...
who destroyed this demon?
467
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:30,940
Yes, please.
468
00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:32,060
Have you ever
469
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:33,310
met a new friend
470
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,060
that feels like an old friend?
471
00:24:36,150 --> 00:24:38,690
This...
472
00:24:38,770 --> 00:24:40,980
is Viva.
473
00:24:41,060 --> 00:24:43,860
A new friend.
And Viva,
474
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:46,360
this is Ennui
and Maestro Fermata,
475
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,190
your new friends.
476
00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:50,480
They'll probably feel
like old friends.
477
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,980
Do you have any books
on tartines?
478
00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:54,310
Or Mozart?
479
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,230
I feel lost.
480
00:24:56,310 --> 00:24:58,560
You're not lost.
You're home,
481
00:24:58,650 --> 00:25:01,020
and you can stay
in Pickle Barrel Falls
482
00:25:01,110 --> 00:25:02,730
for as long as you want.
483
00:25:02,810 --> 00:25:04,060
- All done?
- Thanks.
484
00:25:04,150 --> 00:25:06,520
Forever?
485
00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:09,310
That's a long time, but sure.
486
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,980
You get to stay forever.
487
00:25:15,110 --> 00:25:17,060
The great warrior fought his way
488
00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:18,900
guard by guard
489
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:20,560
until he made his way
490
00:25:20,650 --> 00:25:23,940
to the queen's tower.
491
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:26,310
But just before
she could embrace him...
492
00:25:29,310 --> 00:25:31,270
The king arrived on his horse.
493
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,860
Wait, how are you...
494
00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:34,520
Please, don't touch it.
495
00:25:34,610 --> 00:25:36,230
The old ruler explained
496
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:38,520
the door to the castle
had always been open,
497
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:41,650
and it was the queen
who had locked herself away.
498
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,610
- Where's warrior going?
- Home.
499
00:25:45,690 --> 00:25:47,110
The great warrior understood
500
00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:49,810
this was a demon
for the queen to slay.
501
00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:51,690
Anything else
would be infidelity.
502
00:25:51,770 --> 00:25:54,520
The warrior and the queen
503
00:25:54,610 --> 00:25:57,110
are not meant to be.
504
00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:01,400
Will you stay through Christmas?
505
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,190
What the actual fuck?
506
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,400
Just... keep editing
507
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,770
the stuff out
that we don't want to see.
508
00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:16,440
Until when?
The show is seven minutes long.
509
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,270
And it's PBS.
It's not like we could
510
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,730
pad it with commercial breaks.
511
00:26:19,810 --> 00:26:21,020
And what happens
when he goes live?
512
00:26:21,110 --> 00:26:22,480
How do we stop him
513
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,020
from puking his off-brand lunacy
514
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:25,440
all over his shoes,
and your shoes,
515
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,400
- and our shoes?
- Don't worry.
516
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,810
We're not gonna let that happen.
517
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:30,400
Oh, so he's not gonna host
it this year?
518
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,900
Oh, fuck.
519
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:34,440
Oh, fuck!
520
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,440
The National Tree Lighting.
521
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,730
I think it's on CBS this year.
522
00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:40,900
That'll be what,
10 million people watching?
523
00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:43,560
How did December
get here so quickly?
524
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,020
It's not about the money.
525
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,400
It's never been
about the money, Gregory.
526
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,270
It's about doing
the right thing.
527
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,270
$42,000 is a lot of debt
528
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,860
for a woman in her thirties.
529
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:03,110
She has medical bills.
This'll help her heal.
530
00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:04,650
As your accountant,
I can only recommend
531
00:27:04,730 --> 00:27:06,480
what's fiscally responsible.
532
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,310
Maybe we just pay off
the Discover card.
533
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,360
Just pay it all, please.
534
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,860
She's lucky
to have a friend like you.
535
00:27:13,940 --> 00:27:17,060
We all are.
536
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,480
Good-bye.
537
00:28:29,690 --> 00:28:31,610
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪
538
00:28:31,690 --> 00:28:33,610
♪ And when I'm feeling low ♪
539
00:28:33,690 --> 00:28:35,940
♪ Then I start
to think about ♪
540
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,150
♪ The happiest man I know ♪
541
00:28:38,230 --> 00:28:40,270
♪ He doesn't mind the snow ♪
542
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,610
♪ And he doesn't mind
the rain ♪
543
00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:45,020
♪ But all December
you will hear him ♪
544
00:28:45,110 --> 00:28:46,730
♪ At your windowpane ♪
545
00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:48,940
♪ God bless you gentlemen ♪
546
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:50,940
♪ God bless you ♪
547
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,360
♪ If you haven't got
a friendly cat ♪
548
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,190
♪ May God bless you ♪
549
00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:05,650
♪ Christmas is a-coming ♪
550
00:29:05,730 --> 00:29:07,770
♪ And the cider's in the keg ♪
36813
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