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1
00:01:35,603 --> 00:01:40,603
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:09,753
Tyrone.
What blend is that bag?
3
00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,955
Winter. Oh, shit.
4
00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:14,957
Sorry, Shane.
5
00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:18,127
Please,
pay better attention.
6
00:02:18,129 --> 00:02:21,196
It's just we never had
a mid-winter blend before,
7
00:02:21,198 --> 00:02:23,665
and it's, like, why
and who cares?
8
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:26,036
I can't think about that,
Tyrone, and neither should you.
9
00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:32,740
- Good morning, Lulu.
- Good morning, Carl.
10
00:02:32,742 --> 00:02:35,211
Hey, Lulu.
Check this out.
11
00:02:44,654 --> 00:02:46,521
Are you break-dancing,
Carl?
12
00:02:46,523 --> 00:02:49,257
Yes. It's... body popping.
13
00:02:49,259 --> 00:02:51,893
[Shane] Ice! No dancing!
14
00:02:51,895 --> 00:02:53,663
Get back to work.
15
00:02:56,032 --> 00:02:57,801
[door bells jingling]
16
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,473
Excuse me.
17
00:03:04,741 --> 00:03:06,076
Excuse me?
18
00:03:09,879 --> 00:03:11,848
May I have
a large cappuccino, please?
19
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:15,085
[coins clinking]
20
00:03:16,552 --> 00:03:18,554
[cash register dings]
21
00:03:22,624 --> 00:03:25,560
Here you go, sir.
One large cappuccino.
22
00:03:25,562 --> 00:03:27,862
Thank you.
Is Mr. Danger here?
23
00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:29,866
Yeah, hang on a second.
24
00:03:38,308 --> 00:03:42,043
Hi. Shane Danger, Manager.
25
00:03:42,045 --> 00:03:44,345
Mr. Danger,
I'm Barry Ofeld
26
00:03:44,347 --> 00:03:46,682
with Human Resources
from our corporate office.
27
00:03:48,052 --> 00:03:50,720
Is there somewhere
we can speak in private?
28
00:03:56,092 --> 00:04:01,062
The reason for my visit is the company is
in the process of scaling back operations.
29
00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:04,300
This means making across-the-board
personnel cuts, Mr. Danger.
30
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:06,968
Oh.
31
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,602
Unfortunately,
we must ask you
32
00:04:08,604 --> 00:04:12,241
to relieve one of your employees
of their responsibilities.
33
00:04:12,243 --> 00:04:14,042
I will leave that
to your discretion,
34
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:16,811
but we'd like this to happen
immediately, Mr. Danger.
35
00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:20,314
- Do you have any questions?
- No, I don't think so.
36
00:04:20,316 --> 00:04:24,154
Times are tough, Mr. Danger.
Better one of them than you.
37
00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:26,890
Good point.
38
00:04:32,895 --> 00:04:35,198
Not a very good cappuccino.
39
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:38,635
If you'll excuse me.
40
00:04:42,372 --> 00:04:43,971
[door opens]
[bells jingling]
41
00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:47,075
That guy was
checking you out, Lulu.
42
00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:50,011
No, I was
checking him out, Carl.
43
00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:54,217
[laughing]
44
00:04:56,952 --> 00:04:58,921
It wasn't that funny,
Carl.
45
00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:04,859
Lulu, if you could
see me in my office.
46
00:05:04,861 --> 00:05:06,196
Certainly.
47
00:05:20,676 --> 00:05:24,446
I'm sorry. There was nothing
I could do about it.
48
00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:27,248
You can stop
going on about it.
49
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,852
I don't care
about the job.
50
00:05:34,457 --> 00:05:37,191
Oh. Someone told me today
what they were building
51
00:05:37,193 --> 00:05:38,794
behind
the hardware center.
52
00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:43,964
Oh, but I can't remember
what it was.
53
00:05:43,966 --> 00:05:45,335
[sighs]
54
00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:59,913
Oh, I remember now.
55
00:05:59,915 --> 00:06:03,919
They're putting in a state-of-the-art
fitness center behind the hardware center.
56
00:06:05,355 --> 00:06:07,823
Might have to get
my gym bag on.
57
00:06:14,397 --> 00:06:17,098
[sighs]
Thanks, sweetie.
58
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,767
Now I have to find my way
to bed in the dark.
59
00:06:20,769 --> 00:06:24,740
[man on TV chattering]
60
00:06:30,212 --> 00:06:31,747
Sweetie.
61
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,484
Five dollars for fun.
62
00:06:36,486 --> 00:06:39,353
Why don't you enjoy yourself and buy
one of those cinnamon swirly things
63
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,224
you like so much
from the bakeshop?
64
00:06:44,093 --> 00:06:47,163
I will see you later,
won't I, sweetie?
65
00:06:50,832 --> 00:06:52,435
[groans]
66
00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,774
[door closes]
[chattering continues on TV]
67
00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:03,844
[Carl] Kinda does feel like
a morgue with Lulu gone.
68
00:07:03,846 --> 00:07:07,781
- She was fun.
- Yeah, well, she got fired, Carl.
69
00:07:07,783 --> 00:07:10,117
Times are tough.
We have jobs to do.
70
00:07:10,119 --> 00:07:12,852
And this is what happens
when you don't do your job.
71
00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:15,423
So, we have
our first casualty, guys.
72
00:07:15,425 --> 00:07:18,060
Might not be our last.
73
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:29,537
You gonna have problems with your
marriage now you fired your wife, Shane?
74
00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:34,074
[sighs] No, I am not gonna have
problems with my marriage now, Tyrone.
75
00:07:34,076 --> 00:07:36,109
I have
a tremendous marriage.
76
00:07:36,111 --> 00:07:38,512
In fact, Lulu is relieved
not to be working.
77
00:07:38,514 --> 00:07:40,814
Well, I got problems,
Shane.
78
00:07:40,816 --> 00:07:43,250
My mom just got diabetes.
79
00:07:43,252 --> 00:07:47,053
I have to buy her a little scooter to get
her around, but I don't have no money.
80
00:07:47,055 --> 00:07:50,824
I'm sorry about that,
but you have to save, Tyrone.
81
00:07:50,826 --> 00:07:53,127
I save everything I can,
82
00:07:53,129 --> 00:07:56,266
and I think positive
all the time!
83
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:00,601
Okay,
I have to take a shit.
84
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:02,936
Can you guys man the shop
for 25 minutes?
85
00:08:02,938 --> 00:08:04,273
[Tyrone] Sure.
86
00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:12,446
Who shits for 25 minutes?
87
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:16,850
[man on TV]
Love me, love me, love me.
88
00:08:16,852 --> 00:08:19,387
[Shane]
Hey, nearly birthday girl.
89
00:08:19,389 --> 00:08:21,988
Can I make you
a cappuccino?
90
00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:24,157
Oh, I used to
make cappuccinos.
91
00:08:24,159 --> 00:08:26,993
Sweetie,
Mr. Ofeld said,
92
00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:31,131
"Either the both of you go,
or just the girl.
93
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:33,133
The girl's gonna
go anyway though."
94
00:08:33,135 --> 00:08:36,039
So I chose to stay, so at
least one of us has a job.
95
00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:40,106
You seem sad.
96
00:08:40,108 --> 00:08:44,578
Yeah, well, this TV
is really shitty, you know?
97
00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,647
That's what I want
for my birthday...
98
00:08:46,649 --> 00:08:49,082
a new, bigger, better TV.
99
00:08:49,084 --> 00:08:52,419
So I can sit in front of it all day
until my ass gets so fat and flat
100
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:54,289
we have to get a new couch.
101
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:58,957
Don't say that.
102
00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:01,162
Plus, we don't have that
kind of money right now.
103
00:09:01,164 --> 00:09:03,364
Not until
I become area manager,
104
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:05,901
which, I think,
is gonna happen, by the way.
105
00:09:08,671 --> 00:09:10,503
[sighs]
106
00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:12,040
Now that's
a real cappuccino.
107
00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:17,577
Maybe I should ask my brother
for a new TV.
108
00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:20,313
He's got that kind of money
in his cashbox.
109
00:09:20,315 --> 00:09:22,449
[laughs] Who? Adjay?
110
00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:23,952
Yeah, right.
111
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,158
How much money does Adjay
have in his cashbox?
112
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,596
More than what you have
in your tiny little cashbox.
113
00:09:35,931 --> 00:09:38,467
I don't have
a fucking cashbox.
114
00:09:41,636 --> 00:09:45,938
There's no way that little fuckin'
vegan has more money than me.
115
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,943
No, he does.
116
00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:51,313
[exhales]
117
00:09:52,615 --> 00:09:54,584
If anyone needs me,
I'll be in the bath.
118
00:09:58,186 --> 00:10:03,058
Oh, yes. I am the fresh
fun, goodie goodie man.
119
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:10,263
An... Evening...
with Beverly Luff Linn.
120
00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:15,001
For one magical night only.
121
00:10:15,003 --> 00:10:17,671
Beverly.
Beverly Luff Linn.
122
00:10:17,673 --> 00:10:20,442
Luff Linn. Luff Linn.
123
00:10:27,282 --> 00:10:29,382
Is that you, sweetie?
124
00:10:29,384 --> 00:10:30,918
Yes.
125
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:37,660
Sweetie, exactly how much money
is in Adjay's cashbox?
126
00:10:40,195 --> 00:10:42,664
A lot.
127
00:10:48,737 --> 00:10:52,674
Sweetie, I don't understand how Adjay
has got all this fucking money.
128
00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:55,040
He saves.
129
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:57,176
So do fucking I!
130
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,414
Well, Adjay saves more
than fucking you.
131
00:11:01,183 --> 00:11:02,317
[sighs]
132
00:11:11,593 --> 00:11:15,195
Okay, do we all know what we're doing?
I'm staying in the car.
133
00:11:15,197 --> 00:11:18,765
I'm walking in with you, Shane, and asking a
guy to take me to the grains of paradise.
134
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:21,601
And he will take you to the back
of the store to the spice aisle.
135
00:11:21,603 --> 00:11:23,403
Yes, he will.
136
00:11:23,405 --> 00:11:26,676
You will keep him there as
long as possible. Yes, I will.
137
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,145
Let's do this.
138
00:11:39,321 --> 00:11:41,723
[bell dinging]
139
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,491
How may I help
you gentlemen?
140
00:11:44,493 --> 00:11:46,759
Take me to the grains
of paradise.
141
00:11:46,761 --> 00:11:49,662
Wow, your face
is very shiny, man.
142
00:11:49,664 --> 00:11:51,533
Yeah, my family
has thyroid.
143
00:11:53,101 --> 00:11:55,235
I will take you
to the grains of paradise.
144
00:11:55,237 --> 00:11:56,605
Come.
145
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,280
This is
the highest grade.
146
00:12:08,282 --> 00:12:11,353
[Tyrone] This is the best
grains of paradise, okay? Yes?
147
00:12:13,588 --> 00:12:15,457
You don't look well,
man.
148
00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:18,525
Where's your friend,
by the way?
149
00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:21,227
Oh, he's just at the front of the
store looking for a couple of items.
150
00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:24,229
How many kinds
are there?
151
00:12:24,231 --> 00:12:26,668
This is the cheaper. This is the
cheaper grains of paradise?
152
00:12:29,471 --> 00:12:32,538
Hey! What the fuck
are you doing, man?
153
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,041
[squeals]
154
00:12:35,175 --> 00:12:37,310
Are you trying
to rob me, man?
155
00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:40,113
[gunshot]
What the fuck is going on?
156
00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:42,782
Shane? Is that you?
157
00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:45,685
Adjay!
What the fuck, Shane?
158
00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:47,754
Are you seriously
trying to rob me?
159
00:12:47,756 --> 00:12:50,289
No! Are you fucking crazy?
160
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:54,128
Okay! Now!
Tyrone, run! Go!
161
00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:04,337
Carl, drive!
162
00:13:04,339 --> 00:13:06,041
[engine starts]
163
00:13:13,448 --> 00:13:15,149
[squeals echoing]
164
00:13:30,532 --> 00:13:31,866
Miss?
165
00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:37,436
Cinnamon swirly!
Cinnamon swirly!
166
00:13:37,438 --> 00:13:39,739
Little swirls of cinnamon.
167
00:13:39,741 --> 00:13:42,842
Yum, yum, yum.
[chuckling]
168
00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:44,445
Cinnamon, cinnamon.
169
00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:50,450
[door bells jingling]
170
00:13:50,452 --> 00:13:52,354
Cinnamon bullshit.
171
00:13:56,558 --> 00:13:59,759
Who is this
fucking Shane Danger?
172
00:13:59,761 --> 00:14:02,795
He's my fucking
brother-in-law.
173
00:14:02,797 --> 00:14:06,531
He shot a fuckin' hole
in your ceiling.
174
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:11,437
Yes, and then he ran off with my fucking
cashbox with my fucking savings.
175
00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:13,141
You think!
176
00:14:14,843 --> 00:14:16,743
Fucking Shane Danger!
177
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:21,482
That's not even a fucking real name!
Stupid fucking fucks!
178
00:14:24,919 --> 00:14:28,720
So, this Shane Danger. He's
got some new monies, huh?
179
00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:30,622
Yes.
180
00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:32,758
I'm just rolling
through town,
181
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,561
and then I hear you want the monies
back from this Shane Danger.
182
00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:37,997
- I can help you do that.
- Really?
183
00:14:37,999 --> 00:14:40,332
I was going to talk
to my cousin Poony.
184
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,535
Forget cousin Poony.
185
00:14:42,537 --> 00:14:44,438
This is what I do.
186
00:14:46,373 --> 00:14:48,440
Tell me more.
187
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,609
You give me
Shane Danger's address.
188
00:14:50,611 --> 00:14:54,346
I bring you the cashbox.
You give me $200.
189
00:14:54,348 --> 00:14:57,382
You must blow out
his kneecap.
190
00:14:57,384 --> 00:15:00,522
Yeah. I promise you I'll
blow out both his kneecaps.
191
00:15:01,823 --> 00:15:05,692
Valerie! We need a pen
and a fucking paper!
192
00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:09,628
I need to write Shane Danger's
address down for this man.
193
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:13,801
[hacking cough]
194
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,679
[coughing continues]
195
00:15:34,288 --> 00:15:35,556
[parking brake sets]
196
00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:45,599
[dog barking in distance]
197
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:01,747
[exhales]
198
00:16:01,749 --> 00:16:05,684
Okay. Time to open
the glove box, Colin.
199
00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:07,020
Yeah.
200
00:16:11,092 --> 00:16:12,426
[exhales]
201
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:20,766
Cashbox.
202
00:16:20,768 --> 00:16:21,902
Kneecaps.
203
00:16:23,704 --> 00:16:28,008
[bass: dance music]
204
00:16:42,891 --> 00:16:44,892
[drum joins in]
205
00:16:47,694 --> 00:16:49,496
[rings]
206
00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:11,318
Are you the party man,
party man?
207
00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:18,455
Oh, hey, sweetie.
208
00:17:18,457 --> 00:17:20,592
You gonna let
the party man in, Shane?
209
00:17:20,594 --> 00:17:22,528
Sure. Who is he?
210
00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:25,697
I'm Colin.
Colin.
211
00:17:25,699 --> 00:17:27,534
[Lulu] Coming in
for a drink, Colin?
212
00:17:28,902 --> 00:17:30,404
Yes, I am.
213
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:37,945
[clock ticking]
214
00:17:47,155 --> 00:17:49,754
[Lulu] Why do you always
make that brown shit?
215
00:17:49,756 --> 00:17:51,725
Because
it's a fan favorite.
216
00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:55,362
Do you think Colin
will like it?
217
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,449
Kinda looks
like a shit shake.
218
00:18:18,085 --> 00:18:20,020
So how do you guys
know Colin?
219
00:18:22,155 --> 00:18:24,789
[Shane] I thought you knew this guy.
[Lulu] I don't know him.
220
00:18:24,791 --> 00:18:26,758
You told me to invite
him in for a drink.
221
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,161
You don't have to do
what I say.
222
00:18:31,765 --> 00:18:33,399
Who the fuck is this guy?
223
00:18:38,972 --> 00:18:41,172
Colin?
224
00:18:41,174 --> 00:18:42,576
Who the fuck are you?
225
00:18:45,045 --> 00:18:46,578
You stole the cashbox
from Adjay!
226
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,513
Now Adjay wants
his monies back!
227
00:18:48,515 --> 00:18:50,849
So pull out the cashbox
from behind the couch!
228
00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:53,020
Now, before I blow out
these kneecaps!
229
00:19:02,496 --> 00:19:05,196
Colin, grab the cashbox.
230
00:19:05,198 --> 00:19:08,033
Grab the fucking cashbox!
Grab it!
231
00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:09,870
- Now give me the gun.
- That ain't gonna happen.
232
00:19:11,204 --> 00:19:13,805
- Uh, uh, uh!
- Now let's go. Go!
233
00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:15,874
Move!
234
00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,574
Faster!
235
00:19:17,576 --> 00:19:18,644
Get my coat!
236
00:19:19,779 --> 00:19:21,612
Is that your car?
Yes, it is.
237
00:19:21,614 --> 00:19:23,084
Good. Get in!
238
00:19:24,118 --> 00:19:25,219
Get in!
239
00:19:28,088 --> 00:19:29,721
- Drive!
- [engine revs]
240
00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:32,023
[tires squeal]
241
00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:34,826
Lulu!
Where you going?
242
00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:37,062
Come back here,
sweetie!
243
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:41,199
She's gone, Shane, and she's
taken the fucking money!
244
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:43,801
Oh, really, Tyrone?
245
00:19:43,803 --> 00:19:46,639
'Cause I wasn't here. Tell me
what else fucking happened!
246
00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:50,775
Are we taking the
cashbox to Adjay? No!
247
00:19:50,777 --> 00:19:52,944
We're not.
No.
248
00:19:52,946 --> 00:19:56,848
And I will be asking the
questions now. Okay.
249
00:19:56,850 --> 00:19:58,783
We're going
on an adventure, Colin.
250
00:19:58,785 --> 00:20:01,886
Do you like adventures?
I do.
251
00:20:01,888 --> 00:20:03,854
Adventures... I like them.
Do you promise?
252
00:20:03,856 --> 00:20:05,789
I like adventures, yeah.
253
00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:08,193
Good.
254
00:20:08,195 --> 00:20:10,964
Are you a good guy or a bad guy?
I'm a good guy.
255
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,267
Good.
256
00:20:36,656 --> 00:20:38,256
Good evening.
My name is Lawrence.
257
00:20:38,258 --> 00:20:40,125
Welcome
to the Moorhouse Hotel.
258
00:20:40,127 --> 00:20:41,993
Thank you, Lawrence.
259
00:20:41,995 --> 00:20:43,596
We would like a room.
260
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:52,203
Oh, that looks fun. Is Mr. Luff
Linn staying here too?
261
00:20:52,205 --> 00:20:55,839
It's Luff Linn.
Two words.
262
00:20:55,841 --> 00:20:59,744
Oh, and we'll need a room
with two twins' beds, please.
263
00:20:59,746 --> 00:21:02,914
Is it two twins' beds
or two twins bed?
264
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,084
Or is it two twin bed?
265
00:21:06,887 --> 00:21:09,620
I'm not really sure about that
kind of thing. I'm just not...
266
00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:11,924
Perhaps we should ask
Mr. Beverly.
267
00:21:15,895 --> 00:21:19,229
Oh, lookee here. It looks
like you're in lucky.
268
00:21:19,231 --> 00:21:22,066
Is breakfast included?
We'll take it.
269
00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:24,304
Wonderful.
Key time.
270
00:21:27,674 --> 00:21:30,275
Magical event.
271
00:21:30,277 --> 00:21:32,946
Magical Luff Linn.
272
00:21:35,848 --> 00:21:37,415
[door closes]
273
00:21:37,417 --> 00:21:41,319
Okay, well, this is
my kind of hotel room.
274
00:21:41,321 --> 00:21:43,122
You take that bed.
275
00:21:44,824 --> 00:21:46,760
Okay.
276
00:21:49,996 --> 00:21:51,331
[sighs]
277
00:21:57,937 --> 00:22:00,106
Colin, do you think you
could give me a massage?
278
00:22:02,007 --> 00:22:04,007
Yes.
279
00:22:04,009 --> 00:22:05,678
[coughs]
I can do that.
280
00:22:12,719 --> 00:22:14,387
Like this?
Mm-hmm.
281
00:22:15,288 --> 00:22:16,888
How's this?
282
00:22:16,890 --> 00:22:18,158
Mm-hmm.
283
00:22:19,059 --> 00:22:21,394
- And this?
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:30,834
I needed to get away
from my husband.
285
00:22:30,836 --> 00:22:34,171
Aren't you worried about
people coming after us?
286
00:22:34,173 --> 00:22:36,241
Adjay must be
very upset and angry.
287
00:22:36,243 --> 00:22:39,410
Adjay would never
come after us.
288
00:22:39,412 --> 00:22:42,413
He's had terrifying panic
attacks since we were children
289
00:22:42,415 --> 00:22:44,850
because he choked on too
much breast milk as a baby.
290
00:22:46,051 --> 00:22:48,386
I didn't know that
was a possibility.
291
00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:50,256
Choking on breast milk?
292
00:22:52,124 --> 00:22:54,791
Choking on
too much breast milk.
293
00:22:54,793 --> 00:22:56,128
Mm-hmm.
294
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:02,435
Okay, that's enough.
Thank you.
295
00:23:07,507 --> 00:23:10,941
Colin, I need you
to protect me, okay?
296
00:23:10,943 --> 00:23:13,410
Can you handle that?
Yes, I can do that.
297
00:23:13,412 --> 00:23:15,513
Are you sure you don't have
any other commitments?
298
00:23:15,515 --> 00:23:18,048
No, I don't have
any other commitments.
299
00:23:18,050 --> 00:23:20,884
In fact, putting myself in harm's
way for the benefit of others
300
00:23:20,886 --> 00:23:22,755
is exactly what I do.
301
00:23:24,924 --> 00:23:26,226
Good.
302
00:23:32,865 --> 00:23:36,202
I'm going to take a bath.
Why don't you watch?
303
00:23:37,803 --> 00:23:39,171
TV.
304
00:23:43,242 --> 00:23:44,776
[door closes]
305
00:23:51,016 --> 00:23:52,319
[exhales]
306
00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:19,211
Here comes din-dins.
307
00:24:22,348 --> 00:24:27,517
- You buckled up?
- [groaning]
308
00:24:27,519 --> 00:24:30,923
Right. Let's try and find this hotel that
apparently no one knows the name of.
309
00:24:32,157 --> 00:24:33,525
[groaning]
310
00:24:45,304 --> 00:24:47,371
Have you heard anything
from Lulu?
311
00:24:47,373 --> 00:24:48,972
I haven't heard
anything.
312
00:24:48,974 --> 00:24:50,542
[door opens]
313
00:24:52,278 --> 00:24:55,381
Hello, Shane!
Do you have my money?
314
00:24:58,016 --> 00:25:00,485
No, Adjay.
Have you talked to Colin?
315
00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:03,621
Colin is
a double-crossing shit!
316
00:25:03,623 --> 00:25:06,056
Well, my wife and your
money are with him,
317
00:25:06,058 --> 00:25:07,891
so you might want
to track him down.
318
00:25:07,893 --> 00:25:11,928
Track him down, Shane?
I'm a fucking vegan!
319
00:25:11,930 --> 00:25:16,300
I'm coming every day until
you find my fucking money!
320
00:25:16,302 --> 00:25:19,003
Did you hear me,
you fat loser?
321
00:25:22,308 --> 00:25:25,543
Adjay, please leave! You're
causing a disturbance!
322
00:25:25,545 --> 00:25:27,311
Now!
323
00:25:27,313 --> 00:25:31,381
I will leave, and then
I will come back again
324
00:25:31,383 --> 00:25:35,619
for my fucking M-O-N-E-Y!
325
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,356
Aaah!
326
00:25:38,524 --> 00:25:40,890
[door opens, closes]
327
00:25:40,892 --> 00:25:42,392
Wow.
328
00:25:42,394 --> 00:25:45,027
Why has my wife run off
with a fucking criminal?
329
00:25:45,029 --> 00:25:47,097
Maybe she was sexually
attracted to him.
330
00:25:47,099 --> 00:25:50,469
I've definitely read women are
attracted to mens with guns.
331
00:25:52,237 --> 00:25:53,570
Mens?
332
00:25:53,572 --> 00:25:56,606
Yeah, the gun
is like a penis.
333
00:25:56,608 --> 00:25:59,545
Yeah, the male penis.
334
00:26:08,620 --> 00:26:10,621
Why are we buying
all these outfits?
335
00:26:10,623 --> 00:26:13,192
Because I need outfits,
Colin.
336
00:26:19,231 --> 00:26:22,332
I'm gonna be honest
with you.
337
00:26:22,334 --> 00:26:25,535
Although I don't know
quite what's going on,
338
00:26:25,537 --> 00:26:26,971
I'm having a great time,
Lulu.
339
00:26:28,707 --> 00:26:30,376
And...
[slurps]
340
00:26:32,110 --> 00:26:35,314
And you nailed it with these
cheesy onion rings. Mmm.
341
00:26:36,949 --> 00:26:39,149
Listen.
342
00:26:39,151 --> 00:26:42,085
There is an event
tomorrow night at the hotel.
343
00:26:42,087 --> 00:26:43,389
We're going to it. Okay?
344
00:26:44,289 --> 00:26:45,655
An event?
345
00:26:45,657 --> 00:26:48,057
Do you remember the man
in the plaid hat
346
00:26:48,059 --> 00:26:51,127
from the large man-shaped poster
near the hotel reception?
347
00:26:51,129 --> 00:26:52,431
Mr. Beverly.
348
00:26:54,031 --> 00:26:57,266
- Beverly's a woman's name.
- No, I don't think so.
349
00:26:57,268 --> 00:26:59,369
It is. It's a Scottish
woman's name.
350
00:26:59,371 --> 00:27:02,239
- Beverly is a man's name.
- It's a very feminine name.
351
00:27:02,241 --> 00:27:05,475
No, it isn't, Colin.
It's a very masculine name.
352
00:27:05,477 --> 00:27:07,711
I went to school
with a girl called Beverly.
353
00:27:07,713 --> 00:27:10,516
No, Colin.
Beverly is a man's name.
354
00:27:11,683 --> 00:27:13,517
[whispers]
Beverly is a woman's name.
355
00:27:13,519 --> 00:27:15,387
No, Colin.
Beverly is a man's name.
356
00:27:18,055 --> 00:27:19,123
Okay.
357
00:27:24,731 --> 00:27:26,563
Oh, my goodness.
358
00:27:26,565 --> 00:27:27,666
Mmm.
359
00:27:28,634 --> 00:27:32,135
Oh, this is so indulgent.
360
00:27:32,137 --> 00:27:34,304
I'm gonna need to do
some exercise after this.
361
00:27:34,306 --> 00:27:36,140
Ugh.
362
00:27:44,482 --> 00:27:46,516
[muffled] Can you
please wipe your mouth?
363
00:27:46,518 --> 00:27:48,220
That's absolutely disgusting.
364
00:27:59,096 --> 00:28:01,063
What are you doing?
Don't do that.
365
00:28:01,065 --> 00:28:03,034
Just get the stuff
out of the back.
366
00:28:08,406 --> 00:28:11,176
[low grunting]
367
00:28:19,818 --> 00:28:22,218
I believe we have a junior
suite on reservation.
368
00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:24,119
Yes.
369
00:28:24,121 --> 00:28:26,556
We have you
in our Loch Lomond suite
370
00:28:26,558 --> 00:28:28,557
with a balcony
and a pool view.
371
00:28:28,559 --> 00:28:31,660
Would you like me to keep the reservation
charges under Von Dongschlonger?
372
00:28:31,662 --> 00:28:33,762
It's Von Donkensteiger.
373
00:28:33,764 --> 00:28:36,466
- Is that German?
- Yes.
374
00:28:36,468 --> 00:28:39,569
Actually, my father was a German shepherd.
He looked quite like you.
375
00:28:39,571 --> 00:28:42,741
- You mean like the dog?
- Yeah, like the woof-woof.
376
00:28:43,642 --> 00:28:45,442
[grunts] Hmm.
377
00:28:45,444 --> 00:28:47,444
We are very excited for
378
00:28:47,446 --> 00:28:50,747
An Evening
with Beverly Luff Linn
379
00:28:50,749 --> 00:28:53,618
for one magical night only.
380
00:28:55,419 --> 00:28:57,121
Hmm.
381
00:28:59,858 --> 00:29:02,094
You look more like a dog
than a dog does.
382
00:29:11,737 --> 00:29:14,405
[gasping]
383
00:29:16,207 --> 00:29:17,673
[elevator bell dings]
384
00:29:17,675 --> 00:29:19,277
No.
385
00:29:31,823 --> 00:29:33,324
[exhales]
386
00:29:52,611 --> 00:29:55,814
One of those jets is shooting
water up the back of my shorts.
387
00:29:58,382 --> 00:30:00,618
Its quite
a delicious feeling.
388
00:30:06,924 --> 00:30:08,459
[exhales]
389
00:30:19,671 --> 00:30:20,706
Uhh!
390
00:30:40,726 --> 00:30:41,860
Uhh!
391
00:30:42,894 --> 00:30:53,738
Waaah!
392
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:17,628
Lets go downstairs.
393
00:31:21,632 --> 00:31:24,266
Good evening.
I'm the captain.
394
00:31:24,268 --> 00:31:26,402
What can I get
you folks?
395
00:31:26,404 --> 00:31:28,537
I would like
a Rumble in the Heather.
396
00:31:28,539 --> 00:31:30,241
And I'll have
a Rum and a Ramble.
397
00:31:30,876 --> 00:31:32,878
Coming up.
398
00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:36,645
You know, those might
have poo on them.
399
00:31:36,647 --> 00:31:39,648
You don't want to get poo
in your mouth, do you?
400
00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:42,584
Oh, no. No, we're not
eating these poo nuts.
401
00:31:42,586 --> 00:31:45,587
Here you go, ma'am.
Here's your drink.
402
00:31:45,589 --> 00:31:47,456
- Here you go, sir.
- Thank you, Captain.
403
00:31:47,458 --> 00:31:50,694
And, uh, let's get
some fresh nuts, huh?
404
00:31:50,696 --> 00:31:53,664
Poo nuts. You know
what I'm talking about.
405
00:31:57,668 --> 00:31:59,370
And here's my nuts.
406
00:32:04,041 --> 00:32:06,608
I feel like we've been
on the go for days,
407
00:32:06,610 --> 00:32:09,812
and we haven't had any time
to just sit and catch up.
408
00:32:09,814 --> 00:32:12,347
Well, I'm really glad that
we're getting to catch up,
409
00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:13,883
but we're not really
on the go.
410
00:32:13,885 --> 00:32:16,318
We're on the run.
Your brother's after us.
411
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,321
I wouldn't be surprised if he kills
me, but I think you'll be fine.
412
00:32:19,323 --> 00:32:21,557
[sighs] You know, you can be
really depressing sometimes.
413
00:32:21,559 --> 00:32:23,292
I don't find myself
depressing.
414
00:32:23,294 --> 00:32:25,296
Here's to not being depressing.
I don't think I am depressing.
415
00:32:27,431 --> 00:32:29,232
[door opens]
416
00:32:31,001 --> 00:32:32,868
Here comes Mr. Beverly.
417
00:32:32,870 --> 00:32:36,338
He makes you nervous,
doesn't he?
418
00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:38,607
And he's with his bearded friend,
and they're coming this way.
419
00:32:38,609 --> 00:32:40,709
What a lovely evening,
isn't it?
420
00:32:40,711 --> 00:32:42,644
Yes, it is.
421
00:32:42,646 --> 00:32:44,713
Oh, uh, Colin.
422
00:32:44,715 --> 00:32:48,452
Rodney.
Rodney, this is Lulu.
423
00:32:53,524 --> 00:32:56,259
[growling]
424
00:33:00,531 --> 00:33:02,664
Mr. Rodney, I believe
your booth is ready.
425
00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:04,702
Come with me, please.
Absolutely.
426
00:33:14,745 --> 00:33:17,347
He's not very chatty,
is he, Mr. Beverly?
427
00:33:31,729 --> 00:33:34,530
You know, I feel like I don't
know anything about you, Colin.
428
00:33:34,532 --> 00:33:36,031
Why don't you
tell me something?
429
00:33:36,033 --> 00:33:38,466
Why don't you tell me
the story of Colin?
430
00:33:38,468 --> 00:33:40,771
You better settle in 'cause it's
a long and interesting tale.
431
00:33:43,140 --> 00:33:45,040
Okay.
432
00:33:45,042 --> 00:33:47,442
So, my father's name
was Keith,
433
00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:50,079
and his father
was also called Keith.
434
00:33:50,081 --> 00:33:53,081
Uh, so that's two generations
of Keiths in my family,
435
00:33:53,083 --> 00:33:55,384
so it's a bit of a tradition.
436
00:33:55,386 --> 00:33:59,721
And my father had an Uncle
Colin who he loved very much.
437
00:33:59,723 --> 00:34:03,992
And he loved the name Colin and he
wanted to be called Colin himself.
438
00:34:03,994 --> 00:34:06,694
In fact, sometimes he would
introduce himself to people
439
00:34:06,696 --> 00:34:09,564
calling himself Colin
as a joke.
440
00:34:09,566 --> 00:34:12,734
Anyway, he looked up
the name Colin,
441
00:34:12,736 --> 00:34:16,505
and it meant
small, young dog.
442
00:34:16,507 --> 00:34:19,708
And so when I was born,
he thought,
443
00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:21,610
he looks like
a small, young dog,
444
00:34:21,612 --> 00:34:24,414
and he named me Colin
because I was born with teeth.
445
00:34:28,751 --> 00:34:30,087
What?
446
00:34:31,888 --> 00:34:33,090
That's it?
447
00:34:39,563 --> 00:34:42,798
That is by far the most uninteresting
story I have ever heard.
448
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,902
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
449
00:34:56,512 --> 00:34:58,914
We should go sit with them.
Come on.
450
00:34:58,916 --> 00:35:00,451
Let's go.
451
00:35:06,724 --> 00:35:08,659
[chattering]
452
00:35:12,863 --> 00:35:14,731
Oh, do you mind
if we join you?
453
00:35:17,234 --> 00:35:19,700
We haven't properly
met yet, Mr. Beverly.
454
00:35:19,702 --> 00:35:22,606
It's Mr. Luff Linn,
and it's two words.
455
00:35:28,112 --> 00:35:30,112
Luff Linn.
456
00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:32,814
Beverly, this is Colin,
and this is Lulu.
457
00:35:32,816 --> 00:35:34,617
[grunting]
458
00:35:37,087 --> 00:35:39,221
Beverly and I
are partners.
459
00:35:39,223 --> 00:35:42,590
Ah, you are...
you're partners. Ah.
460
00:35:42,592 --> 00:35:44,527
It's a platonic union.
461
00:35:45,862 --> 00:35:47,765
That sounds nice.
462
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,833
- Is it nice?
- Yes.
463
00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:53,735
I mean, it's difficult
to describe,
464
00:35:53,737 --> 00:35:56,637
but let's just say that we
love each other very much.
465
00:35:56,639 --> 00:35:58,572
Colin and I are married.
466
00:35:58,574 --> 00:36:01,776
[loud growling]
467
00:36:01,778 --> 00:36:04,181
How long have you been married for?
Two months.
468
00:36:06,082 --> 00:36:07,949
It's funny, isn't it?
469
00:36:07,951 --> 00:36:11,987
You come into a shithole town
in the middle of nowhere,
470
00:36:11,989 --> 00:36:13,989
like this,
471
00:36:13,991 --> 00:36:16,925
and suddenly everything's
very difficult.
472
00:36:16,927 --> 00:36:20,162
I have to buy Beverly
this tea that he loves.
473
00:36:20,164 --> 00:36:22,998
The Earl Grey. I'm sure
you haven't heard of it.
474
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,967
So, I went into the local
village this morning,
475
00:36:25,969 --> 00:36:29,204
and I gotta say,
it was a real struggle,
476
00:36:29,206 --> 00:36:31,007
but eventually
I found it,
477
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:35,811
and, uh, Beverly
has the satisfaction
478
00:36:35,813 --> 00:36:37,612
of getting the tea
that he loves,
479
00:36:37,614 --> 00:36:39,613
and I have
the satisfaction
480
00:36:39,615 --> 00:36:42,583
of being the one
who got it for him.
481
00:36:42,585 --> 00:36:44,821
Are you gonna put an
earring back in that hole?
482
00:36:46,123 --> 00:36:48,225
Hmm?
483
00:36:51,328 --> 00:36:54,831
- Yes.
- [grunts]
484
00:36:56,566 --> 00:37:00,004
[groaning]
485
00:37:01,105 --> 00:37:02,272
Do excuse us.
486
00:37:09,812 --> 00:37:11,912
You should put an earring
back in that hole.
487
00:37:11,914 --> 00:37:13,716
You should do
what they say.
488
00:37:25,996 --> 00:37:28,598
Let it out and play.
489
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,601
Come on, Bev.
490
00:37:34,103 --> 00:37:35,905
That's it.
491
00:37:37,073 --> 00:37:39,042
Let it out.
492
00:37:40,810 --> 00:37:43,146
Let that devil out.
493
00:37:44,614 --> 00:37:46,148
[farts]
494
00:37:46,150 --> 00:37:49,151
There she blows.
495
00:37:49,153 --> 00:37:51,155
There she blows.
496
00:37:58,628 --> 00:38:01,064
[crying]
497
00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:09,305
[sighs]
498
00:38:28,991 --> 00:38:30,958
[Tyrone]
You look tired, Shane.
499
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,795
- I hit the bottle last night.
- Me too.
500
00:38:33,797 --> 00:38:37,932
- Brenda finally kicked me out.
- Isn't Brenda your cousin?
501
00:38:37,934 --> 00:38:41,369
Yeah. I don't think she's attracted
to me anymore 'cause I got fat.
502
00:38:41,371 --> 00:38:44,306
Oh, I thought
you were always fat.
503
00:38:44,308 --> 00:38:47,810
- No, I used to be skinny.
- I think it's great that you're dating your cousin, Tyrone.
504
00:38:48,778 --> 00:38:49,879
Thank you, Shane.
505
00:38:54,283 --> 00:38:57,017
What the fuck is that,
Carl?
506
00:38:57,019 --> 00:38:59,822
It's a poster. Some bearded guy
dropped it off last night.
507
00:39:00,690 --> 00:39:02,324
Bearded guy?
Yeah.
508
00:39:02,326 --> 00:39:04,694
He looked like Michael McDonald
from the Doobie Brothers.
509
00:39:05,828 --> 00:39:07,697
Who are
the Doobie Brothers?
510
00:39:08,798 --> 00:39:11,234
Beverly Luff Linn.
511
00:39:13,970 --> 00:39:17,471
[Tyrone] It's the same black guyfrom the poster at the store,
512
00:39:17,473 --> 00:39:20,341
and that's Lulu with him
in every single photograph.
513
00:39:20,343 --> 00:39:22,743
[Shane]
Yes, Tyrone.
514
00:39:22,745 --> 00:39:26,115
It looks like they're having a
pretty great time together, Shane.
515
00:39:27,183 --> 00:39:29,116
Tyrone.
516
00:39:29,118 --> 00:39:30,985
Listen to me.
517
00:39:30,987 --> 00:39:32,722
This man is in town.
518
00:39:34,023 --> 00:39:37,458
He's having an event
at the Moorhouse Hotel.
519
00:39:37,460 --> 00:39:40,161
I don't know
what this event is,
520
00:39:40,163 --> 00:39:42,298
but Lulu's gone missing.
521
00:39:45,368 --> 00:39:46,903
Tyrone.
522
00:39:49,373 --> 00:39:54,108
We need to go to the hotel,
immediately, to see if she's there.
523
00:39:54,110 --> 00:39:55,876
Yes, we do Shane.
524
00:39:55,878 --> 00:39:58,412
We need to go to the hotel
immediately to see if she's there.
525
00:39:58,414 --> 00:40:00,414
Immediately.
Immediately.
526
00:40:00,416 --> 00:40:02,082
Immediately.
Immediately.
527
00:40:02,084 --> 00:40:03,816
Immediately.
528
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:05,419
Immediately.
529
00:40:05,421 --> 00:40:07,421
Immediately.
Immediately.
530
00:40:07,423 --> 00:40:09,290
Immediately.
Immediately.
531
00:40:09,292 --> 00:40:10,824
Immediately.
Immediately.
532
00:40:10,826 --> 00:40:12,929
Immediately.
Immediately.
533
00:40:14,297 --> 00:40:15,865
Immediately.
534
00:40:17,967 --> 00:40:19,500
Good evening.
My name is Lawrence.
535
00:40:19,502 --> 00:40:20,937
Welcome
to the Moorhouse Hotel.
536
00:40:22,104 --> 00:40:24,438
That man there,
is he in the hotel?
537
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,174
I need to see him. I must speak with him.
It's urgent.
538
00:40:27,176 --> 00:40:29,312
Sir, you're more than welcome to
wait in our captain's lounge.
539
00:40:30,912 --> 00:40:32,446
Is the captain
in his lounge?
540
00:40:32,448 --> 00:40:36,219
No, the captain is not
in his fucking lounge!
541
00:41:01,944 --> 00:41:03,946
Mmm.
542
00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:10,184
- [burps]
- [giggles]
543
00:41:10,186 --> 00:41:12,953
I love cold beer!
I gave you cold beer!
544
00:41:12,955 --> 00:41:14,988
I love cold beer!
545
00:41:14,990 --> 00:41:16,457
I gave you cold beer!
546
00:41:16,459 --> 00:41:18,592
I love cold beer!
547
00:41:18,594 --> 00:41:21,227
[whining]
548
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,000
[panting]
[sighs] Whoo.
549
00:41:27,336 --> 00:41:31,374
[low grunting]
550
00:41:33,209 --> 00:41:36,045
I know, I know.
We'll sort it out.
551
00:41:39,848 --> 00:41:42,215
[low groaning]
552
00:41:42,217 --> 00:41:46,053
[tires squealing]
553
00:41:46,055 --> 00:41:48,522
You're late, Tyrone.
What happened?
554
00:41:48,524 --> 00:41:50,557
I was worried stiff.
555
00:41:50,559 --> 00:41:53,394
He's there, Shane. They got a
life-sized poster of him in the lobby.
556
00:41:53,396 --> 00:41:55,531
He's being pushed around in a
wheelchair by the bearded man.
557
00:41:57,300 --> 00:42:00,234
Hello, Shane!
You look fat today!
558
00:42:00,236 --> 00:42:04,371
Like I said, I'm coming back
every day, and here I am!
559
00:42:04,373 --> 00:42:06,407
Where is my fucking money?
560
00:42:06,409 --> 00:42:10,880
I don't have your money, Adjay.
But do you know this man?
561
00:42:17,086 --> 00:42:19,153
Where the fuck
did this come from?
562
00:42:19,155 --> 00:42:22,589
This guy who looked like Michael McDonald
from the Doobie Brothers dropped it off.
563
00:42:22,591 --> 00:42:24,325
There's a big event
happening.
564
00:42:24,327 --> 00:42:28,194
Adjay, I found a box of
pictures of Lulu with this man.
565
00:42:28,196 --> 00:42:30,431
It was hidden
in her underwear drawer.
566
00:42:30,433 --> 00:42:32,165
That man is dead!
567
00:42:32,167 --> 00:42:33,901
That man ain't dead.
568
00:42:33,903 --> 00:42:37,237
That man is in a wheelchair
at the Moorhouse Hotel.
569
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:41,442
That man is dead!
That man fucking drowned!
570
00:42:41,444 --> 00:42:44,645
And I want my fucking money, Shane!
[squeals]
571
00:42:44,647 --> 00:42:47,048
That man ain't dead.
572
00:42:59,161 --> 00:43:00,363
Hello?
573
00:43:03,132 --> 00:43:05,399
[people groaning]
574
00:43:05,401 --> 00:43:10,169
Show delayed 24 hours
for a medical emergency?
575
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:11,474
Excuse me.
576
00:43:12,475 --> 00:43:14,708
I don't understand.
577
00:43:14,710 --> 00:43:17,176
Wait, there's Rodney.
Ask him what's going on.
578
00:43:17,178 --> 00:43:18,980
I'm going in.
579
00:43:20,248 --> 00:43:22,316
Excuse me.
Excuse me, Mr. Rodney.
580
00:43:22,318 --> 00:43:24,451
Is everything okay
with Mr. Beverly?
581
00:43:24,453 --> 00:43:27,154
Mr. Luff Linn just needs
some peace and quiet.
582
00:43:27,156 --> 00:43:28,722
He doesn't need
to be disturbed.
583
00:43:28,724 --> 00:43:30,290
Is he dead?
584
00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:32,961
I have no idea.
I'm not a doctor.
585
00:43:36,732 --> 00:43:41,401
I just don't understand why you're so
stressed out about this Mr. Beverly event.
586
00:43:41,403 --> 00:43:43,970
I realize
you don't understand.
587
00:43:43,972 --> 00:43:45,608
The thing is,
I do understand.
588
00:43:47,176 --> 00:43:48,709
[shouting] Okay, then,
you know what?
589
00:43:48,711 --> 00:43:51,578
I'm going out, and I'm
gonna feast on snacks!
590
00:43:51,580 --> 00:43:56,517
Good! I hope you feast on snacks and
you get so fat that your pants split!
591
00:43:56,519 --> 00:43:59,352
Oh, you would love it
if my pants split!
592
00:43:59,354 --> 00:44:00,556
I would!
[door slams]
593
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:04,626
[Luff Linn grunts]
594
00:44:07,295 --> 00:44:09,496
I see you're writing again.
595
00:44:09,498 --> 00:44:12,201
Come on. I'll run you a bath.
[grunts]
596
00:44:13,001 --> 00:44:15,669
[chuckling]
597
00:44:15,671 --> 00:44:18,739
[Rodney] I saw that
dreadful couple downstairs.
598
00:44:18,741 --> 00:44:21,508
They seem pretty pissed off
that the show's been postponed.
599
00:44:21,510 --> 00:44:23,411
[loud grunting]
600
00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:32,487
Well, well, well.
601
00:44:35,491 --> 00:44:39,693
Um, I think I'm gonna have
a bit of a siesta now.
602
00:44:39,695 --> 00:44:40,696
Mmm.
603
00:44:43,632 --> 00:44:47,333
You really should
start writing again.
604
00:44:47,335 --> 00:44:50,438
You write beautifully. You
have a real way with words.
605
00:44:51,639 --> 00:44:52,574
[grunts]
606
00:45:02,618 --> 00:45:04,219
[door bells jingle]
607
00:45:25,341 --> 00:45:28,611
[groaning]
608
00:45:32,715 --> 00:45:34,614
[low growl]
609
00:45:34,616 --> 00:45:37,085
Yes, I will make sure
that she gets it.
610
00:45:39,354 --> 00:45:41,356
[door opens, closes]
611
00:45:43,191 --> 00:45:45,726
I just saw Mr. Beverly,
and he looked fine.
612
00:45:45,728 --> 00:45:47,861
Exceptionally healthy,
in fact.
613
00:45:47,863 --> 00:45:51,598
And I saw magical
event posters all over town.
614
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,499
What are you
thinking about?
615
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,401
Because I'll tell you
what I'm thinking about.
616
00:45:55,403 --> 00:45:58,137
I'm thinking about how I met your
fat brother in the Laundromat,
617
00:45:58,139 --> 00:46:01,107
and I was promised
to be paid $200,
618
00:46:01,109 --> 00:46:02,875
of which I have
received nothing!
619
00:46:02,877 --> 00:46:06,345
I'm a professional!
I make things happen!
620
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:08,781
And now what do I do?
I'm just protecting you
621
00:46:08,783 --> 00:46:11,518
so that you can see Mr. Beverly
and his magic event.
622
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:16,589
And I haven't even mentioned his fat,
bearded, chipmunk-faced piggy partner
623
00:46:16,591 --> 00:46:20,562
who needs a punch right in his
tightly packed poo-filled anus hole!
624
00:46:23,164 --> 00:46:25,431
I'll pay you the $200,
okay?
625
00:46:25,433 --> 00:46:27,433
No, no, no.
It's not about that.
626
00:46:27,435 --> 00:46:29,769
It's not about the money
Ah, no!
627
00:46:29,771 --> 00:46:32,572
It's not about the money!
628
00:46:32,574 --> 00:46:36,077
Now Colin's opened his big,
hairy trap, and Lulu hates him!
629
00:46:42,617 --> 00:46:44,152
Colin.
630
00:46:50,491 --> 00:46:52,725
I have an idea.
631
00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:56,629
How about the two of us go out for
an old-fashioned night on the town?
632
00:46:56,631 --> 00:46:58,534
What do you say?
633
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:02,437
I'd really like that.
634
00:47:05,874 --> 00:47:08,407
Lets paint the town,
Colin.
635
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:09,711
[bell dings]
636
00:47:12,847 --> 00:47:15,617
Oh. I need to go
to the toilet.
637
00:47:18,386 --> 00:47:19,721
Okay.
638
00:47:31,199 --> 00:47:32,732
Oh, my God.
Why are you here?
639
00:47:32,734 --> 00:47:35,201
I found this box
in your underwear drawer
640
00:47:35,203 --> 00:47:38,604
with all these pictures of you
and the Luff Linn poster man.
641
00:47:38,606 --> 00:47:39,874
Is this why you're here?
642
00:47:43,878 --> 00:47:46,647
Let go of me!
Is he still alive?
643
00:47:46,649 --> 00:47:48,882
Because I heard
he was dead.
644
00:47:48,884 --> 00:47:51,319
Get off of me.
645
00:47:52,420 --> 00:47:55,454
Security! This man
is accosting me!
646
00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:57,525
Security! Security!
647
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,928
Ow! My fucking ear,
you fat fuck! Aaah!
648
00:48:02,930 --> 00:48:04,766
[panting]
649
00:48:06,567 --> 00:48:07,902
[groans]
650
00:48:12,807 --> 00:48:16,611
[shouting] Who the fuck
is Beverly Luff Linn?
651
00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:25,017
Oh, shit!
What happened, Shane?
652
00:48:25,019 --> 00:48:27,187
Got kicked
in the stomach.
653
00:48:29,624 --> 00:48:32,524
I gotta go get my mom
from the clinic.
654
00:48:32,526 --> 00:48:34,262
That's fine.
Just drive.
655
00:48:36,564 --> 00:48:38,733
Did you get kicked hard?
656
00:48:39,967 --> 00:48:42,270
I should've blown
out his kneecaps.
657
00:48:43,805 --> 00:48:45,673
I'm very protective.
658
00:48:50,912 --> 00:48:52,978
You put your earring
back in, didn't you?
659
00:48:52,980 --> 00:48:55,917
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I did.
660
00:48:57,853 --> 00:48:59,687
The mystery of Colin
is deepening.
661
00:49:01,956 --> 00:49:04,392
Go deeper, if you dare.
662
00:49:08,763 --> 00:49:11,499
May I indulge you
in a childhood story?
663
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:14,669
Give it to me, Colin.
664
00:49:17,370 --> 00:49:20,605
My grandmother Eileen used
to have these hard candies
665
00:49:20,607 --> 00:49:22,475
that were dusted
in icing sugar.
666
00:49:22,477 --> 00:49:24,744
They were a real treat
to be had.
667
00:49:24,746 --> 00:49:27,646
Now I'm getting to the
major part of the story.
668
00:49:27,648 --> 00:49:30,585
When I was a little boy,
I didn't like to, uh...
669
00:49:31,853 --> 00:49:33,819
do poo-poos inside,
670
00:49:33,821 --> 00:49:36,822
so I would march
into the wood for hours
671
00:49:36,824 --> 00:49:39,591
just waiting until I
had to go, you know.
672
00:49:39,593 --> 00:49:41,793
[straining]
673
00:49:41,795 --> 00:49:43,828
And I would just do it
right there in the woods,
674
00:49:43,830 --> 00:49:45,765
or I would do it
on a rock,
675
00:49:45,767 --> 00:49:48,667
or I would, um, dig a little
hole and cover it with leaves.
676
00:49:48,669 --> 00:49:52,340
But it's not the way that we want
little boys to go potty, is it?
677
00:49:53,808 --> 00:49:55,674
No, it is not.
678
00:49:55,676 --> 00:49:59,879
So, my grandmother very cleverly
decided to give me these candies,
679
00:49:59,881 --> 00:50:01,613
which I was crazy about,
680
00:50:01,615 --> 00:50:02,917
whenever...
681
00:50:04,618 --> 00:50:06,887
doo-doos would come out
indoors.
682
00:50:08,789 --> 00:50:11,590
So, whenever
I went poopy inside,
683
00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:15,761
I would run down the hallway yelling,
"Grammy, Grammy! Come and look in the bowl!
684
00:50:15,763 --> 00:50:17,563
Come and look
in the bowl!"
685
00:50:17,565 --> 00:50:20,498
And then we would all gather around
the bowl and just look inside
686
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:22,737
and count the doo-doos,
and guess what.
687
00:50:25,072 --> 00:50:26,671
What?
688
00:50:26,673 --> 00:50:29,440
She would give me
a piece of candy
689
00:50:29,442 --> 00:50:33,412
for every piece of... poo-poo
that I would produce.
690
00:50:33,414 --> 00:50:36,651
One time I got
14 pieces of candy.
691
00:50:40,721 --> 00:50:42,922
Grammy passed away
some time ago.
692
00:50:42,924 --> 00:50:45,557
She was hit in the back
of her head with a hammer.
693
00:50:45,559 --> 00:50:48,994
Okay, enough stories.
It's time.
694
00:50:48,996 --> 00:50:50,965
I'm gonna
lay it on the line.
695
00:50:52,166 --> 00:50:54,166
[sighs]
696
00:50:54,168 --> 00:50:58,504
Lulu, I may be a great deal
younger than you,
697
00:50:58,506 --> 00:51:00,906
but I think you're
the most beautiful,
698
00:51:00,908 --> 00:51:04,045
most interesting woman
that I have ever met.
699
00:51:05,746 --> 00:51:09,714
And yes, I know everybody
else thinks that too.
700
00:51:09,716 --> 00:51:12,584
But I need to know...
701
00:51:12,586 --> 00:51:14,452
and please
be honest with me...
702
00:51:14,454 --> 00:51:15,856
I need to know...
703
00:51:17,457 --> 00:51:20,560
if any part of you
is attracted...
704
00:51:22,430 --> 00:51:23,831
to any part of me.
705
00:51:38,545 --> 00:51:40,445
This is so unexpected.
706
00:51:40,447 --> 00:51:42,847
That's okay. You don't have
to answer immediately.
707
00:51:42,849 --> 00:51:45,618
Look, I'm just in a very emotional
place right now, you know?
708
00:51:45,620 --> 00:51:48,020
I just left my husband, and I
have this event tomorrow night.
709
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,789
Colin! Colin! Colin!
Colin! Colin!
710
00:51:50,791 --> 00:51:54,862
Selfish! Selfish!
Selfish! Selfish!
711
00:51:59,966 --> 00:52:01,666
[man] Crabs.
712
00:52:01,668 --> 00:52:03,003
Yummy!
713
00:52:07,474 --> 00:52:11,110
I had tickets
to the magical Luff Linn,
714
00:52:11,112 --> 00:52:14,115
but I heard he had
been delayed 24 hours.
715
00:52:17,952 --> 00:52:23,757
What makes the Luff Linn
so... magical, Mrs. Paris?
716
00:52:25,659 --> 00:52:28,028
[coughing]
717
00:52:33,634 --> 00:52:38,039
[coughing, retching]
718
00:52:44,511 --> 00:52:48,148
[retching]
719
00:52:52,118 --> 00:52:54,921
[loud coughing]
720
00:53:02,029 --> 00:53:03,630
Ah! Ah!
721
00:53:09,236 --> 00:53:11,303
Psst.
722
00:53:11,305 --> 00:53:12,806
Miss Lulu.
723
00:53:18,678 --> 00:53:20,546
Yes?
I have this for you.
724
00:53:26,220 --> 00:53:28,089
Thank you.
Good evening.
725
00:53:31,858 --> 00:53:33,825
What did
Mr. Lawrence want?
726
00:53:33,827 --> 00:53:37,729
He was just making sure
you were protecting me.
727
00:53:37,731 --> 00:53:39,099
I am.
728
00:53:46,107 --> 00:53:47,975
Gonna go
get ready for bed.
729
00:53:53,713 --> 00:53:55,015
[door closes]
730
00:54:12,732 --> 00:54:15,236
[Luff Linn grunting]
731
00:54:26,112 --> 00:54:28,012
[groaning]
732
00:54:28,014 --> 00:54:30,984
[funk music playing]
Hmm?
733
00:54:33,653 --> 00:54:35,056
Is this our song?
734
00:54:35,855 --> 00:54:37,289
[Beverly] Mmm!
735
00:54:37,291 --> 00:54:39,025
Lord,
this brings back memories.
736
00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,928
Endless nights
at the Lamb and Lily.
737
00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:45,065
First time I saw you.
738
00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:48,766
You looked very smart
with your orange hat.
739
00:54:48,768 --> 00:54:50,770
Mmm.
740
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:55,273
Right, tea and bed, Bev.
741
00:54:55,275 --> 00:54:56,874
[growls]
742
00:54:56,876 --> 00:54:59,346
[light piano music]
743
00:55:08,688 --> 00:55:09,789
[door opens, closes]
744
00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:16,394
You look relaxed,
Colin.
745
00:55:16,396 --> 00:55:18,162
Yeah, I'm just reading
about Palominos.
746
00:55:18,164 --> 00:55:20,664
They're a very
sought-after parade horse.
747
00:55:20,666 --> 00:55:22,035
Very pretty horse,
I must say.
748
00:55:26,005 --> 00:55:27,941
[sighs]
Well, I'm wiped.
749
00:55:30,343 --> 00:55:31,611
Good night.
750
00:55:32,178 --> 00:55:33,845
[sighs]
751
00:55:33,847 --> 00:55:35,982
Would you like me to read
you a couple of paragraphs?
752
00:55:38,952 --> 00:55:40,251
No, thanks.
753
00:55:40,253 --> 00:55:42,955
[light piano music continues]
754
00:55:46,860 --> 00:55:48,860
[tape player clicks]
[music stops]
755
00:55:48,862 --> 00:55:49,927
[Colin yawns]
756
00:55:49,929 --> 00:55:51,998
[Luff Linn grunts]
757
00:55:53,333 --> 00:55:56,434
[slurps]
758
00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,071
There we go.
759
00:55:58,838 --> 00:56:03,842
[light snoring]
760
00:56:28,734 --> 00:56:30,869
[water splashing]
761
00:56:45,751 --> 00:56:49,189
You look surprised.
You expecting somebody else?
762
00:56:51,857 --> 00:56:54,458
No.
No? Good.
763
00:56:54,460 --> 00:56:57,529
'Cause there'll be nobody else
performing here tonight.
764
00:56:57,531 --> 00:56:59,432
The show's over.
765
00:57:28,228 --> 00:57:30,930
Mmm!
766
00:57:33,433 --> 00:57:36,336
[snoring]
767
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,216
[whispers] Yes. Yes.
768
00:57:54,254 --> 00:57:55,919
No!
Yes.
769
00:57:55,921 --> 00:57:58,589
No. Oh, God. No.
770
00:57:58,591 --> 00:58:00,591
I'm sorry. I must have
gotten in the wrong bed.
771
00:58:00,593 --> 00:58:03,293
I like you in my bed.
It's fine. No.
772
00:58:03,295 --> 00:58:05,362
It's fine. I like you in my bed.
No, it's not fine. No, Colin.
773
00:58:05,364 --> 00:58:07,866
It's not fine.
I'm sorry.
774
00:58:11,471 --> 00:58:15,039
Actually, Colin,
I have my period.
775
00:58:15,041 --> 00:58:17,974
Can you run to the drugstore and
get me some heavy flow tampons?
776
00:58:17,976 --> 00:58:20,313
The green box.
It's an emergency.
777
00:58:21,347 --> 00:58:23,283
I'm going
as fast as I can.
778
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,320
[grunts]
779
00:58:31,056 --> 00:58:32,391
[door closes]
780
00:58:35,962 --> 00:58:37,397
[sighs]
781
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:47,137
[dings]
782
00:58:47,139 --> 00:58:48,905
[clears throat]
Good morning, Lawrence.
783
00:58:48,907 --> 00:58:50,206
Good morning, Miss Lulu.
784
00:58:50,208 --> 00:58:54,344
Can you please see that
this gets to Mr. Luff Linn?
785
00:58:54,346 --> 00:59:00,117
It must be delivered to him when his male
bearded partner is not present, is that clear?
786
00:59:00,119 --> 00:59:02,088
He will receive the
message right away.
787
00:59:03,423 --> 00:59:05,991
Thank you.
Ta-ta.
788
00:59:12,532 --> 00:59:17,269
[liquid pouring]
789
00:59:18,303 --> 00:59:20,907
Skinny little pig.
790
00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:26,009
[grunts]
791
00:59:26,011 --> 00:59:29,447
Strong coffee, Bev.
This should wake you up.
792
00:59:29,449 --> 00:59:32,048
Mmm.
793
00:59:32,050 --> 00:59:38,388
I had to haul a special someone all the way from
the armchair to the queen-sized bed last night.
794
00:59:38,390 --> 00:59:41,224
Mmm.
795
00:59:41,226 --> 00:59:44,995
Now, this may look like a lot of
food, but you should eat all of it.
796
00:59:44,997 --> 00:59:46,630
[angrily] Mmm.
797
00:59:46,632 --> 00:59:49,032
I'm just concerned about your health.
I'm not badgering.
798
00:59:49,034 --> 00:59:51,101
Mmm.
799
00:59:51,103 --> 00:59:53,604
Good morning to you both.
800
00:59:53,606 --> 00:59:55,506
My name is Kennedy Gordon.
801
00:59:55,508 --> 00:59:59,342
I am the manager
of the Moorhouse Hotel.
802
00:59:59,344 --> 01:00:03,646
- It is a pleasure finally having you stay with us.
- Mmm.
803
01:00:03,648 --> 01:00:08,318
I also wanted to check in with you regarding
our evening with Beverly Luff Linn
804
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:12,723
and whether we're all set
for this evening?
805
01:00:12,725 --> 01:00:16,394
Yes, at this precise moment, I would say we
are all set for this evening's performance.
806
01:00:16,396 --> 01:00:20,964
Isn't that right, Bev? Mmm.
807
01:00:20,966 --> 01:00:25,170
Oh, and Lawrence asked me to give you
this letter in private, Mr. Luff Linn.
808
01:00:39,151 --> 01:00:43,255
Um, please enjoy your breakfast!
809
01:00:44,757 --> 01:00:46,391
Shall we open it?
810
01:00:59,037 --> 01:01:03,173
[Lulu] So, I get up at 1:00 a.m.
to see you alone, finally,
811
01:01:03,175 --> 01:01:05,241
and you send your creepy
bearded partner.
812
01:01:05,243 --> 01:01:06,777
Why?
813
01:01:06,779 --> 01:01:09,012
Anything interesting?
814
01:01:09,014 --> 01:01:10,382
Mmm.
815
01:01:14,252 --> 01:01:18,288
Right, when you finish that steak, those eggs,
that steak on that plate with those eggs,
816
01:01:18,290 --> 01:01:21,191
the orange if you want,
and there's a boiled egg there.
817
01:01:21,193 --> 01:01:23,727
The toast, and I want you
to have the jam with the toast.
818
01:01:23,729 --> 01:01:26,630
We're gonna hit the fitness center and
loosen your hips for this evening.
819
01:01:26,632 --> 01:01:29,132
Mmm!
820
01:01:29,134 --> 01:01:32,204
[grunting]
821
01:01:36,575 --> 01:01:41,511
You're in great shape,
but your pelvis is kinked.
822
01:01:41,513 --> 01:01:43,045
[growls]
823
01:01:43,047 --> 01:01:48,086
[grunting]
824
01:01:50,623 --> 01:01:54,057
I got the... I had to go to three
different stores to get them.
825
01:01:54,059 --> 01:01:56,459
The first store said they wouldn't
have them in for a month.
826
01:01:56,461 --> 01:01:59,162
I said, "That's no use. It's a monthly
cycle." And the second store...
827
01:01:59,164 --> 01:02:00,732
[grunting]
828
01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:05,802
Listen to me, you little bitch.
We got your note.
829
01:02:05,804 --> 01:02:07,470
I told you to back off!
830
01:02:07,472 --> 01:02:09,405
You shouldn't speak to a
lady like that, Mr. Rodney.
831
01:02:09,407 --> 01:02:12,277
Shut up! This is
your final warning!
832
01:02:13,512 --> 01:02:17,482
[grunting]
833
01:02:18,683 --> 01:02:21,851
What? Are you gonna
chew me out now too?
834
01:02:21,853 --> 01:02:22,787
How about you?
835
01:02:36,234 --> 01:02:38,270
Mmm.
836
01:02:46,144 --> 01:02:47,812
Drive!
837
01:02:58,423 --> 01:03:03,426
I just witnessed two male suspicious
figures driving a blue sports coupe.
838
01:03:03,428 --> 01:03:06,831
They were wearing wigs, and when
I noticed them they sped off.
839
01:03:08,533 --> 01:03:10,266
That'll be Shane and Tyrone.
840
01:03:10,268 --> 01:03:11,436
Oh.
841
01:03:16,474 --> 01:03:18,440
[sniffs]
842
01:03:18,442 --> 01:03:20,412
Colin, do you think you
could give me a massage?
843
01:03:22,848 --> 01:03:25,784
Yes, I can.
844
01:03:31,389 --> 01:03:35,560
[humming]
845
01:03:44,336 --> 01:03:47,170
You're getting really good
at this, Colin.
846
01:03:47,172 --> 01:03:48,771
Then you won't mind me
telling you
847
01:03:48,773 --> 01:03:51,608
that I saw Mr. Beverly in the
fitness center exercising,
848
01:03:51,610 --> 01:03:53,111
and I pulled the finger at him.
849
01:03:53,778 --> 01:03:55,178
What?
850
01:03:55,180 --> 01:03:58,313
Colin, why did you do that?
851
01:03:58,315 --> 01:04:01,784
Look, I don't need you causing any more
trouble than there already is! Okay?
852
01:04:01,786 --> 01:04:04,286
Please!
853
01:04:04,288 --> 01:04:06,323
I'm going for a walk.
854
01:04:11,930 --> 01:04:13,863
[shouts]
855
01:04:13,865 --> 01:04:17,467
You will always be alone, Colin,
with that big, hairy trap of yours!
856
01:04:17,469 --> 01:04:19,404
Why is it so hairy?
857
01:04:24,676 --> 01:04:25,877
Would you like to come with me?
858
01:04:29,580 --> 01:04:31,148
I would like that.
859
01:04:32,784 --> 01:04:35,818
And thank you for the tampons.
860
01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:37,787
It was a pleasure
to buy you tampons.
861
01:04:37,789 --> 01:04:39,357
[door creaks, closes]
862
01:04:45,664 --> 01:04:48,165
Mmm!
863
01:04:50,935 --> 01:04:54,271
[groans]
864
01:04:59,511 --> 01:05:03,548
[groaning]
[groans back]
865
01:05:09,788 --> 01:05:16,360
[both continue groaning]
866
01:05:23,334 --> 01:05:25,635
[passes gas]
[groans]
867
01:05:25,637 --> 01:05:26,803
[groans]
[passes gas]
868
01:05:26,805 --> 01:05:28,671
Ooh.
869
01:05:28,673 --> 01:05:30,707
Good afternoon. Yes, this
is Lawrence, Mr. Gordon.
870
01:05:30,709 --> 01:05:35,978
I have Mr. Rodney here,
Mr. Beverly Luff Linn's partner.
871
01:05:35,980 --> 01:05:39,815
Apparently, they would like to delay
the event for another 24 hours.
872
01:05:39,817 --> 01:05:40,983
Yes.
873
01:05:40,985 --> 01:05:42,484
Okay.
874
01:05:42,486 --> 01:05:43,719
Thank you very much.
875
01:05:43,721 --> 01:05:45,388
[hangs up receiver]
Well?
876
01:05:45,390 --> 01:05:48,326
Mr. Gordon will be here
very shortly.
877
01:05:58,837 --> 01:06:00,802
Good day, Mr. Rodney.
878
01:06:00,804 --> 01:06:02,606
Lovely to
see you again.
879
01:06:04,641 --> 01:06:07,843
Now, we have
a full hotel of guests
880
01:06:07,845 --> 01:06:11,581
anxiously awaiting An Evening
with Beverly Luff Linn
881
01:06:11,583 --> 01:06:14,617
for one magical night only.
882
01:06:14,619 --> 01:06:19,858
And I am happy to accommodate your
request for another 24 hours, but...
883
01:06:22,827 --> 01:06:28,097
I am afraid there can be
no further delays after that.
884
01:06:28,099 --> 01:06:30,868
Am I being clear,
Mr. Rodney?
885
01:06:32,871 --> 01:06:34,873
Yes, you're being clear.
886
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,339
Wonderful!
887
01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:38,543
Wonderful!
888
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:44,883
Wonderful.
889
01:06:47,818 --> 01:06:49,887
[music pounding]
890
01:06:51,655 --> 01:06:52,823
[woman]
It's open!
891
01:06:54,658 --> 01:06:56,926
[music grows louder]
892
01:06:56,928 --> 01:07:00,397
[pounding continues]
893
01:07:02,867 --> 01:07:04,566
It's her.
894
01:07:04,568 --> 01:07:05,734
Are you sure?
895
01:07:05,736 --> 01:07:07,738
Of course, I'm sure.
896
01:07:08,639 --> 01:07:10,572
[scoffs]
897
01:07:10,574 --> 01:07:12,474
I have to say,
when Beverly Luff Linn
898
01:07:12,476 --> 01:07:16,480
said he had taken up with a man,
you are not what I expected.
899
01:07:17,414 --> 01:07:18,880
What are you, from Scotland?
900
01:07:18,882 --> 01:07:22,118
I met Beverly while I was
studying embroidery in Aberdeen.
901
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:28,825
I don't give one or two or 17 fucks
what you were studying in Aberdeen
902
01:07:28,827 --> 01:07:33,095
[affecting Scottish accent] or
Edinburgh or-or the Orkney Islands,
903
01:07:33,097 --> 01:07:36,066
ya fucking bushy bearded cunt!
904
01:07:38,001 --> 01:07:40,001
[normal voice]
I only pursued your request
905
01:07:40,003 --> 01:07:43,939
because that skinny little pig
ended our marriage.
906
01:07:43,941 --> 01:07:46,577
I wanted to see her in the flesh.
It's supposed to offer closure.
907
01:07:47,712 --> 01:07:50,913
- I see.
- How'd you get my number?
908
01:07:50,915 --> 01:07:55,717
Beverly gave it to me during one of our more
marinated sessions in the Lamb and Lily.
909
01:07:55,719 --> 01:07:57,719
He was suffering
from acute depression.
910
01:07:57,721 --> 01:07:59,855
He said if ever he was in
trouble, I had to contact you.
911
01:07:59,857 --> 01:08:01,425
Please don't contact me again!
912
01:08:05,596 --> 01:08:07,430
[screams]
Ever again!
913
01:08:08,733 --> 01:08:10,835
[door slams]
[music stops]
914
01:08:13,470 --> 01:08:17,875
[grunting repeatedly]
915
01:08:21,179 --> 01:08:24,915
[growls]
916
01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:27,618
[grunts]
917
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,621
[engine starts]
[music pounding]
918
01:08:32,623 --> 01:08:35,392
[growling]
919
01:08:37,228 --> 01:08:38,693
[music fades]
[sighs]
920
01:08:38,695 --> 01:08:41,197
Adjay, I've got good news.
921
01:08:41,199 --> 01:08:45,370
That guy Colin is at
the Moorhouse Hotel with Lulu.
922
01:08:46,169 --> 01:08:47,636
They should have your money.
923
01:08:47,638 --> 01:08:49,504
So?
924
01:08:49,506 --> 01:08:52,910
So, you should go there,
to the Moorhouse Hotel.
925
01:08:54,244 --> 01:08:57,079
There is something
you are not getting, Shane.
926
01:08:57,081 --> 01:08:59,215
It seems I was correct
to bring Edwin.
927
01:08:59,217 --> 01:09:00,617
Edwin!
928
01:09:01,252 --> 01:09:03,154
[bell jingles]
929
01:09:05,856 --> 01:09:08,425
I hear you have a back room.
Can you take me there?
930
01:09:10,661 --> 01:09:11,895
Sure, Edwin.
931
01:09:28,745 --> 01:09:29,980
[shouts]
[blow lands]
932
01:09:35,719 --> 01:09:38,753
[Adjay] And I want my
fucking money, Shane!
933
01:09:38,755 --> 01:09:40,190
[bell jingles]
934
01:09:45,263 --> 01:09:46,830
What happened
to your face, Shane?
935
01:09:48,665 --> 01:09:51,202
Edwin happened to my face,
you big, fat penis face.
936
01:09:56,106 --> 01:09:57,739
[all groaning]
937
01:09:57,741 --> 01:10:01,142
[music pounding]
938
01:10:01,144 --> 01:10:03,544
I wonder why
they postponed it again.
939
01:10:03,546 --> 01:10:05,015
Can we please
stop discussing it?
940
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:11,187
[music continues pounding]
941
01:10:11,189 --> 01:10:12,787
[Captain]
How are we doing over here?
942
01:10:12,789 --> 01:10:15,659
Oh, uh, I'll have the usual.
Thanks, Captain.
943
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:17,759
And for you, ma'am?
944
01:10:17,761 --> 01:10:19,894
No. Thank you.
945
01:10:19,896 --> 01:10:23,700
I'm not feeling so well,
so I'm going to go to my room.
946
01:10:25,202 --> 01:10:27,936
Maybe you're thirsty,
or hungry.
947
01:10:27,938 --> 01:10:30,271
Dehydrated
or low blood sugar.
948
01:10:30,273 --> 01:10:33,111
My God, Colin.
I just left my husband.
949
01:10:34,111 --> 01:10:36,144
Do you even remember that?
950
01:10:36,146 --> 01:10:37,912
I've been holed up
in this hotel for days
951
01:10:37,914 --> 01:10:42,150
because I'm desperate to see An Evening with
Beverly Luff Linn for one magical night only,
952
01:10:42,152 --> 01:10:44,686
and I don't know if
that's ever gonna happen.
953
01:10:44,688 --> 01:10:47,255
And for some insane reason,
I'm being called a little bitch
954
01:10:47,257 --> 01:10:51,192
by Beverly's fat,
disgusting, creepy partner
955
01:10:51,194 --> 01:10:54,997
with his little chipmunk body shoved
into his pants with his little fat legs.
956
01:10:59,236 --> 01:11:01,738
So, no. I'm not feeling
very thirsty or hungry, okay?
957
01:11:04,174 --> 01:11:06,243
[music pounding]
Okay.
958
01:11:08,378 --> 01:11:10,912
[sighs]
959
01:11:10,914 --> 01:11:12,380
[whispers]
She's having her period.
960
01:11:12,382 --> 01:11:13,783
Oh, dear.
961
01:11:15,185 --> 01:11:18,087
I had to go to three stores
to get green tampons.
962
01:11:18,988 --> 01:11:20,055
[sighs]
963
01:11:20,057 --> 01:11:21,925
Rum and a Ramble for you, sir?
964
01:11:28,265 --> 01:11:30,899
You have beautiful hands.
965
01:11:30,901 --> 01:11:33,303
These two stupid, fat hands?
966
01:11:34,237 --> 01:11:35,937
[slurps]
967
01:11:35,939 --> 01:11:37,573
I'm Paulette.
968
01:11:41,010 --> 01:11:43,212
Nice to meet you, Paulette.
I'm Colin.
969
01:11:50,253 --> 01:11:52,656
[door creaks]
970
01:11:58,028 --> 01:12:00,297
[growls]
971
01:12:04,066 --> 01:12:08,338
[choir singing]
972
01:12:15,712 --> 01:12:17,080
[door closes]
973
01:12:27,457 --> 01:12:32,393
So, it's a bit of a tradition in my
family for the men to be named Keith,
974
01:12:32,395 --> 01:12:35,196
but my father just loved
the name Colin.
975
01:12:35,198 --> 01:12:39,336
And so it came to pass that
he named me, his only son...
976
01:12:40,203 --> 01:12:41,735
Colin.
977
01:12:41,737 --> 01:12:44,239
Colin Keith Threadener.
978
01:12:44,241 --> 01:12:45,706
So the Keith's
still in there.
979
01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:47,708
[chuckles]
980
01:12:47,710 --> 01:12:51,281
Yeah, he was a bit
of a rebel, my father.
981
01:12:53,215 --> 01:12:54,815
[music pounding continues]
982
01:12:54,817 --> 01:12:58,920
You could fill me with your
stories all night long.
983
01:12:58,922 --> 01:13:00,123
[inhales, grunts]
984
01:13:02,092 --> 01:13:04,361
Well, that's really nice to
hear that at a time like this.
985
01:13:06,729 --> 01:13:07,897
Hmm.
986
01:13:10,500 --> 01:13:11,734
Colin.
987
01:13:12,502 --> 01:13:14,168
Paulette.
988
01:13:14,170 --> 01:13:16,270
Is there someplace
we can be alone?
989
01:13:16,272 --> 01:13:21,845
[moaning, grunting]
990
01:13:22,946 --> 01:13:25,849
[grunts echoing]
991
01:13:27,117 --> 01:13:29,150
[moans]
992
01:13:29,152 --> 01:13:31,787
Oh, that...
That was beautiful.
993
01:13:35,425 --> 01:13:36,792
I like you,
Paulette.
994
01:13:38,194 --> 01:13:42,031
Eh, it was good, sweetie.
It was good.
995
01:13:44,801 --> 01:13:48,102
Now... Uh-huh.
996
01:13:48,104 --> 01:13:49,504
Really good,
really good.
997
01:13:49,506 --> 01:13:51,941
Now that's gonna
cost ya 50 bucks.
998
01:13:54,477 --> 01:13:56,213
She usually
charges $80,
999
01:13:58,781 --> 01:14:02,550
but she said
I could pay 50,
1000
01:14:02,552 --> 01:14:04,851
and we ended up settling
with me only paying 37.
1001
01:14:04,853 --> 01:14:07,287
So, you had sex with a prostitute?
Yes.
1002
01:14:07,289 --> 01:14:10,091
We went all the way.
[inhales]
1003
01:14:10,093 --> 01:14:12,126
All the way up there as they say.
[scoffs]
1004
01:14:12,128 --> 01:14:13,829
Well, good for you,
Colin.
1005
01:14:14,464 --> 01:14:15,931
Good night.
1006
01:14:22,338 --> 01:14:26,008
I was a virgin,
and now I'm not.
1007
01:14:28,444 --> 01:14:33,214
I understand that! I'm
letting them know right now!
1008
01:14:33,216 --> 01:14:36,384
Valerie! You have to load the equipment
through the service entrance,
1009
01:14:36,386 --> 01:14:38,051
not the main entrance!
1010
01:14:38,053 --> 01:14:41,121
I don't know where the
fucking service entrance is!
1011
01:14:41,123 --> 01:14:43,056
I need you to follow
the signs, Valerie!
1012
01:14:43,058 --> 01:14:45,928
I can't hold your hand through this,
as much as you might like me to!
1013
01:14:47,162 --> 01:14:50,966
[snoring]
1014
01:14:53,435 --> 01:14:55,235
[grunts]
1015
01:14:55,237 --> 01:14:58,541
[groaning] Let's get this
baby seal out of bed.
1016
01:15:00,277 --> 01:15:02,479
Here's your tea.
[groaning]
1017
01:15:04,079 --> 01:15:07,149
Big night tonight. Showtime.
[grunts]
1018
01:15:08,384 --> 01:15:11,184
Okay, your vaporizer is on.
1019
01:15:11,186 --> 01:15:13,954
The sandalwood is infused
with lime and tangerine.
1020
01:15:13,956 --> 01:15:17,958
The bath salts are by the tub. The
flexing mat is under the window.
1021
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:19,996
And your breakfast
is under the cloche.
1022
01:15:23,233 --> 01:15:24,867
Are we magical?
1023
01:15:25,635 --> 01:15:27,169
Hmm.
1024
01:15:33,942 --> 01:15:36,443
Are you upset that I had sex
with a prostitute last night?
1025
01:15:36,445 --> 01:15:40,981
No. Are you gonna get out of bed?
Today is the event!
1026
01:15:40,983 --> 01:15:43,617
Help! I've slipped,
and I've fallen into the pond!
1027
01:15:43,619 --> 01:15:48,256
Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped under
the ice! Who is Beverly Luff Linn?
1028
01:15:48,258 --> 01:15:51,925
Help, I'm trapped!
Who is Beverly Luff Linn?
1029
01:15:51,927 --> 01:15:55,062
Who is Beverly Luff Linn?
Who is...
1030
01:15:55,064 --> 01:15:56,298
He was a poet.
1031
01:16:00,135 --> 01:16:03,172
Okay?
He was my professor.
1032
01:16:04,673 --> 01:16:10,380
We were a couple, and we
were passionately in love.
1033
01:16:11,548 --> 01:16:13,483
[bag rattles]
1034
01:16:17,286 --> 01:16:21,955
One spring he took me
to the exotic island of Prami.
1035
01:16:21,957 --> 01:16:27,927
There was a bird sanctuary there, and...
we had the best time.
1036
01:16:27,929 --> 01:16:34,335
All we would do is hold hands
and sing to the birds.
1037
01:16:34,337 --> 01:16:37,474
These funny little birds
with flat heads.
1038
01:16:40,109 --> 01:16:41,510
Do you know
those kinds of birds?
1039
01:16:42,444 --> 01:16:44,111
No.
1040
01:16:44,113 --> 01:16:45,481
[sniffs]
They're beautiful.
1041
01:16:48,183 --> 01:16:49,618
It was heaven.
1042
01:16:55,123 --> 01:17:00,630
But on the last day he said, "Lulu, I'm
going to take you to a secret cove."
1043
01:17:02,331 --> 01:17:06,435
We went there,
and he swam ahead of me...
1044
01:17:08,437 --> 01:17:10,437
out to this point,
1045
01:17:10,439 --> 01:17:15,040
and I remember he looked
back, waved at me
1046
01:17:15,042 --> 01:17:19,647
and then plunged deep
beneath the surface.
1047
01:17:19,649 --> 01:17:22,617
And I tried to catch up to him.
1048
01:17:22,619 --> 01:17:27,687
I swam so fast,
but he never came up,
1049
01:17:27,689 --> 01:17:31,527
and...
I couldn't find him.
1050
01:17:35,164 --> 01:17:39,332
So I went back to the hotel and
our friend Cornelius was there.
1051
01:17:39,334 --> 01:17:44,541
I remember crying in Cornelius's arms
when they told me that he was dead.
1052
01:17:45,608 --> 01:17:48,043
Drowned.
1053
01:17:50,512 --> 01:17:52,047
Probably eaten
by sharks.
1054
01:17:55,551 --> 01:17:57,419
Why didn't you tell me
all this before?
1055
01:18:00,189 --> 01:18:01,723
Because I've never told
anyone before.
1056
01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:09,198
Except for Adjay. But he's not
interested unless it's vegan.
1057
01:18:16,638 --> 01:18:19,239
I've never been in love,
1058
01:18:19,241 --> 01:18:20,409
at least
not until I met you.
1059
01:18:24,212 --> 01:18:26,981
But not the kind that you're
talking about where it's mutual.
1060
01:18:31,385 --> 01:18:33,055
Are you still in love with him?
1061
01:18:34,656 --> 01:18:36,556
Are you going to get
out of bed, Colin?
1062
01:18:36,558 --> 01:18:38,391
Are you going to answer
the question, Lulu?
1063
01:18:38,393 --> 01:18:40,462
No! Because
I'm brushing my hair.
1064
01:18:46,702 --> 01:18:48,768
Mr. Rodney Luff Linn.
1065
01:18:48,770 --> 01:18:52,772
Er, it's actually Rodney Von
Donkensteiger, but Luff Linn will do.
1066
01:18:52,774 --> 01:18:55,542
Mitch Stemp,
events coordinator.
1067
01:18:55,544 --> 01:18:57,511
Nice to meet you, Mitch.
1068
01:18:57,513 --> 01:19:00,480
I just want to let you know
everything is moving along smoothly
1069
01:19:00,482 --> 01:19:05,519
and I would like to lock the set by
2:00 p.m. today, if that's okay.
1070
01:19:05,521 --> 01:19:07,487
If that works for you
and Mr. Luff Linn.
1071
01:19:07,489 --> 01:19:09,154
Yeah, that's fine.
1072
01:19:09,156 --> 01:19:12,459
Um, I just want to confirm...
[clears throat]
1073
01:19:12,461 --> 01:19:16,630
that Mr. Luff Linn will enter
from stage left along this line
1074
01:19:16,632 --> 01:19:19,867
and then he will end up in his chair
to the right of your good self.
1075
01:19:19,869 --> 01:19:22,202
Then he'll sort of, like, go...
1076
01:19:22,204 --> 01:19:24,239
No, I get it. You don't
have to explain it. Okay.
1077
01:19:26,241 --> 01:19:28,644
Great.
Great.
1078
01:19:33,382 --> 01:19:35,684
Oh, am I looking forward
to the event.
1079
01:19:40,288 --> 01:19:44,326
It... will... be...
magical.
1080
01:19:46,762 --> 01:19:51,065
[breathing deeply]
1081
01:19:53,468 --> 01:19:54,836
Beverly, I want you
to look at me.
1082
01:20:00,408 --> 01:20:04,813
You and I both know why you chose to hold
this event in this shitbox dickhole hotel.
1083
01:20:07,716 --> 01:20:09,883
I know you know
what I'm talking about.
1084
01:20:09,885 --> 01:20:13,422
But I need to tell you
that I love you deeply.
1085
01:20:14,489 --> 01:20:17,357
You're the man of my dreams.
1086
01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:18,694
We can survive whatever this is.
1087
01:20:20,662 --> 01:20:24,833
For tonight,
the event will be magical.
1088
01:20:26,567 --> 01:20:31,807
A magical, magical night with
my magical, magical Beverly.
1089
01:20:36,178 --> 01:20:38,847
And now,
I'm gonna make you some tea...
1090
01:20:40,716 --> 01:20:45,854
and it... will...
be... magical.
1091
01:20:49,390 --> 01:20:51,557
[groans]
1092
01:20:51,559 --> 01:20:53,594
[sighing]
1093
01:20:55,262 --> 01:20:56,665
Is that really
what you're wearing?
1094
01:20:58,600 --> 01:20:59,899
You chose
these clothes for me.
1095
01:20:59,901 --> 01:21:01,768
Well, I think
you should wear a tie.
1096
01:21:01,770 --> 01:21:04,606
You said I looked good.
I don't have a tie.
1097
01:21:07,809 --> 01:21:09,675
Can't you just find
a tie somewhere?
1098
01:21:09,677 --> 01:21:11,577
I think you should
calm down.
1099
01:21:11,579 --> 01:21:13,512
I really think we should just
get down there, okay?
1100
01:21:13,514 --> 01:21:14,847
The event doesn't
start for an hour.
1101
01:21:14,849 --> 01:21:16,882
Why does everyone always have to
get so stressed out all the time?
1102
01:21:16,884 --> 01:21:18,550
Because I wanna get
good seats!
1103
01:21:18,552 --> 01:21:20,453
Yeah, I know you want
to get good seats
1104
01:21:20,455 --> 01:21:23,823
because you want to see Mr. Beverly and
his partner with his magical beard
1105
01:21:23,825 --> 01:21:26,493
do whatever they do
in their magical event.
1106
01:21:26,495 --> 01:21:28,327
Yes, I do want to see that.
1107
01:21:28,329 --> 01:21:30,897
What's so magical about
this magical event anyway?
1108
01:21:30,899 --> 01:21:35,603
I don't know. But whatever it is,
it will probably change your life.
1109
01:21:37,405 --> 01:21:39,872
He is by far the most
brilliant man I've ever met.
1110
01:21:39,874 --> 01:21:42,941
Well, that sounds like I've won
the golden ticket, doesn't it?
1111
01:21:42,943 --> 01:21:47,380
To the most spectacular evening
of whatever the fuck this is
1112
01:21:47,382 --> 01:21:51,250
provided to you by the man who
shat all over you in the ocean!
1113
01:21:51,252 --> 01:21:52,518
[grunts, sobs]
1114
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:53,585
Sorry. That's the first time
1115
01:21:53,587 --> 01:21:55,855
I've said the words "fuck"
and "shat" in a long time,
1116
01:21:55,857 --> 01:21:56,923
and they're
horrible words!
1117
01:21:56,925 --> 01:21:57,926
Well, good for you.
1118
01:22:00,294 --> 01:22:03,364
I'm going downstairs, and I'm
going to get us front row seats.
1119
01:22:22,583 --> 01:22:23,851
Happy birthday, Lulu.
1120
01:22:26,020 --> 01:22:28,520
What time is it?
1121
01:22:28,522 --> 01:22:30,522
6:50.
1122
01:22:30,524 --> 01:22:35,427
Okay, do we all know what we're doing?
[both] Yes.
1123
01:22:35,429 --> 01:22:40,699
Okay. Then let's fucking do it!
Let's fucking do it!
1124
01:22:40,701 --> 01:22:41,870
Good luck, everyone.
1125
01:22:53,948 --> 01:22:56,649
Good evening. Please
sit wherever you like.
1126
01:22:56,651 --> 01:22:58,317
Ah, good evening,
Miss Lulu.
1127
01:22:58,319 --> 01:23:01,355
I truly hope you enjoy tonight's show.
Thank you.
1128
01:23:29,617 --> 01:23:31,819
[applause]
1129
01:23:34,989 --> 01:23:37,458
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
1130
01:23:38,492 --> 01:23:40,458
Good evening.
1131
01:23:40,460 --> 01:23:43,732
My name's Kennedy Gordon. I'm the
manager of the Moorhouse Hotel.
1132
01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:47,635
[applause]
1133
01:23:48,803 --> 01:23:51,570
Well, after some delays,
1134
01:23:51,572 --> 01:23:55,743
I'm beyond thrilled to be standing
here introducing this evening's event.
1135
01:23:57,878 --> 01:24:02,147
For many of us this will be
a once-in-a-lifetime experience,
1136
01:24:02,149 --> 01:24:07,588
so please, let's just
meditate on every moment.
1137
01:24:09,958 --> 01:24:11,092
Okay.
1138
01:24:12,726 --> 01:24:20,666
Welcome to An Eveningwith Beverly Luff Linn
1139
01:24:20,668 --> 01:24:24,805
for one magical night only!
1140
01:24:30,077 --> 01:24:32,580
[applause fades]
1141
01:24:37,618 --> 01:24:42,122
[applause]
1142
01:24:44,859 --> 01:24:47,427
[music starts, drumming]
1143
01:24:59,974 --> 01:25:01,976
[drumming continues]
1144
01:25:21,996 --> 01:25:25,466
[applause continues]
1145
01:25:29,236 --> 01:25:32,006
[drumming continues]
1146
01:25:38,245 --> 01:25:40,847
[drumming stops]
1147
01:25:53,594 --> 01:25:59,697
♪ Those little ticks of time Keep on
tocking, tocking Tocking, tocking ♪
1148
01:25:59,699 --> 01:26:04,568
♪ Ticky-ticky-ticky-ticky
Tocking all the day ♪
1149
01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:09,808
♪ But those little ticks of time
Know no reason or no rhyme ♪
1150
01:26:09,810 --> 01:26:13,881
♪ They just Ticky ticky tick
tick Tock the time away ♪
1151
01:26:15,582 --> 01:26:20,285
♪ The sun picks up
Little drops of water ♪
1152
01:26:20,287 --> 01:26:25,823
♪ From the sea
As she rolls around the sky ♪
1153
01:26:25,825 --> 01:26:31,164
♪ When her hands Are falling
down She makes a little cloud ♪
1154
01:26:31,166 --> 01:26:36,835
♪ And sends the little cloud
Drifting by ♪
1155
01:26:36,837 --> 01:26:39,907
[instruments stop] ♪
Ticky-ticky Tick tock tick ♪
1156
01:26:40,540 --> 01:26:42,810
[applause]
1157
01:26:53,786 --> 01:26:59,193
[grunting]
1158
01:27:03,097 --> 01:27:05,498
Thank you. Please sit.
1159
01:27:09,303 --> 01:27:11,704
[groans, coughs]
1160
01:27:14,074 --> 01:27:16,576
When I first moved
to Aberdeen,
1161
01:27:17,910 --> 01:27:21,013
this next piece
became my shepherd.
1162
01:27:21,015 --> 01:27:25,986
It guided me away from the shame
that had trotted up inside me.
1163
01:27:28,355 --> 01:27:31,923
I'm sure a lot of you
felt the same way I did
1164
01:27:31,925 --> 01:27:35,295
on those misty moors
of Aberdeenshire.
1165
01:27:37,297 --> 01:27:40,698
This next song is
about the ocean
1166
01:27:40,700 --> 01:27:42,168
and what it means
to be alone.
1167
01:27:43,170 --> 01:27:46,740
Specifically in Aberdeenshire.
1168
01:27:50,077 --> 01:27:53,813
[playing jig]
1169
01:27:57,884 --> 01:28:01,286
♪ Why did I ever become
A football referee? ♪
1170
01:28:01,288 --> 01:28:05,256
♪ I could have been an engineer
Or a sailor on the sea ♪
1171
01:28:05,258 --> 01:28:08,894
♪ Whenever there's A fault to
find They always pick on me ♪
1172
01:28:08,896 --> 01:28:12,663
♪ Why did I ever become
A football referee? ♪
1173
01:28:12,665 --> 01:28:16,101
♪ I used to play at center half
When I was very young ♪
1174
01:28:16,103 --> 01:28:20,004
♪ Sticking out for fair play
I never could hold my tongue ♪
1175
01:28:20,006 --> 01:28:23,641
♪ The men at the top Were watching
And they quickly spotted me ♪
1176
01:28:23,643 --> 01:28:25,277
♪ They said
Now there's a decent man ♪
1177
01:28:25,279 --> 01:28:27,278
♪ We'll make him a referee ♪
1178
01:28:27,280 --> 01:28:30,848
♪ Why did I ever become
A football referee? ♪
1179
01:28:30,850 --> 01:28:34,820
♪ I could have been an engineer
Or a sailor on the sea ♪
1180
01:28:34,822 --> 01:28:38,223
♪ Whenever there's A fault to
find They always pick on me ♪
1181
01:28:38,225 --> 01:28:41,661
♪ Why did I ever become
A football referee? ♪
1182
01:28:45,998 --> 01:28:50,301
♪ Why did I ever become
A football referee? ♪
1183
01:28:50,303 --> 01:28:54,207
[applause]
1184
01:29:08,121 --> 01:29:10,156
My real name is Edmund Summers.
1185
01:29:22,169 --> 01:29:24,104
I loved someone once.
1186
01:29:27,807 --> 01:29:30,743
I loved her
with every waking moment,
1187
01:29:34,247 --> 01:29:36,115
and then I left her.
1188
01:29:41,821 --> 01:29:47,161
I have a great friend
who loves me very much.
1189
01:29:48,761 --> 01:29:50,264
He's up on the stage
with me tonight.
1190
01:29:56,302 --> 01:30:00,139
Rodney,
you're my best friend.
1191
01:30:01,841 --> 01:30:04,777
You look after me,
you care for me.
1192
01:30:07,014 --> 01:30:08,382
And I do love you, Rodney.
1193
01:30:13,853 --> 01:30:15,888
But I'm not in love
with you, Rodney.
1194
01:30:22,361 --> 01:30:24,463
I left my love
with someone else,
1195
01:30:28,968 --> 01:30:31,071
and I don't know
if she'll ever have me back.
1196
01:30:32,372 --> 01:30:33,973
She's the reason I'm here.
1197
01:30:37,211 --> 01:30:38,945
Happy birthday, Lulu.
1198
01:30:44,116 --> 01:30:46,417
I'd like to dedicate
this next song to you.
1199
01:30:46,419 --> 01:30:48,986
It's called,
1200
01:30:48,988 --> 01:30:53,226
"Mmmm mmm!"
1201
01:30:59,399 --> 01:31:02,735
[up-tempo song]
1202
01:31:05,838 --> 01:31:07,438
Wait a second!
1203
01:31:07,440 --> 01:31:11,477
- [audience gasps]
- That's my wife!
1204
01:31:13,546 --> 01:31:14,813
And it's her birthday!
1205
01:31:16,148 --> 01:31:18,284
And I want to give her
a fucking cake.
1206
01:31:27,461 --> 01:31:28,761
Happy birthday, sweetie.
1207
01:31:31,030 --> 01:31:34,233
[Rodney] I've had enough of this shit.
We're in the middle of a show.
1208
01:31:35,101 --> 01:31:36,135
[blows]
1209
01:31:42,040 --> 01:31:43,208
[Lulu] Chipmunk!
1210
01:31:43,210 --> 01:31:47,414
[grunting]
1211
01:31:51,117 --> 01:31:52,852
[grunting]
1212
01:31:58,057 --> 01:32:00,259
[all groaning]
1213
01:32:03,529 --> 01:32:05,496
[groaning continues]
1214
01:32:05,498 --> 01:32:07,399
[Lawrence] Fucking cunts!
[groaning]
1215
01:32:07,401 --> 01:32:10,136
Hmmm.
1216
01:32:11,505 --> 01:32:12,870
That's it?
1217
01:32:12,872 --> 01:32:14,538
Lulu.
1218
01:32:14,540 --> 01:32:16,240
What was that
all about?
1219
01:32:16,242 --> 01:32:18,075
"I don't know if
she'll ever have me back."
1220
01:32:18,077 --> 01:32:19,812
I meant what I said.
1221
01:32:22,048 --> 01:32:25,049
I think I did.
Maybe I got carried away.
1222
01:32:25,051 --> 01:32:28,352
I get so anxious before
these shows I can't speak.
1223
01:32:28,354 --> 01:32:30,255
All I say is "mmm."
1224
01:32:31,290 --> 01:32:32,526
My stomach hurts.
I get gas.
1225
01:32:34,093 --> 01:32:37,461
Well, we all get gas,
and then I go up there
1226
01:32:37,463 --> 01:32:40,032
and sometimes I can't remember
a word I say up on that stage.
1227
01:32:41,233 --> 01:32:42,900
So, you didn't mean it?
1228
01:32:42,902 --> 01:32:45,135
I don't know
what I mean anymore.
1229
01:32:45,137 --> 01:32:49,007
In fact, in this precise moment, I don't
really know exactly who on earth I am.
1230
01:32:53,244 --> 01:32:57,147
But what about all the
love you left with me?
1231
01:32:57,149 --> 01:33:01,921
Mmm. You see? You see?
I'm doing it again.
1232
01:33:06,225 --> 01:33:08,127
Why did you
leave me there alone?
1233
01:33:10,929 --> 01:33:13,499
When I swam past the point,
and I saw that ocean,
1234
01:33:14,933 --> 01:33:17,100
I knew I had to keep swimming.
1235
01:33:17,102 --> 01:33:19,537
I knew it was the time.
1236
01:33:19,539 --> 01:33:23,540
I know it sounds corny, but
something was calling me out there.
1237
01:33:23,542 --> 01:33:25,077
I had to keep swimming.
1238
01:33:27,346 --> 01:33:30,116
But where did you go? I
swam around the corner.
1239
01:33:31,617 --> 01:33:34,718
- I hid behind a rock.
- What?
1240
01:33:34,720 --> 01:33:37,590
Then that guy Cornelius...
Remember him from the hotel?
1241
01:33:39,023 --> 01:33:42,058
Yes.
Well, he was in on it.
1242
01:33:42,060 --> 01:33:43,362
He got me off the island.
1243
01:33:44,597 --> 01:33:46,630
I think I paid him
80 bucks to help me.
1244
01:33:46,632 --> 01:33:48,267
[Colin]
You big witch!
1245
01:33:50,169 --> 01:33:52,269
Who is this guy?
1246
01:33:52,271 --> 01:33:54,405
You're a big witch.
1247
01:33:54,407 --> 01:33:57,241
Are you just gonna poo on her
again like you did last time?
1248
01:33:57,243 --> 01:33:59,275
Colin,
stay out of this!
1249
01:33:59,277 --> 01:34:01,210
No, I will not
stay out of this.
1250
01:34:01,212 --> 01:34:06,048
I've had to put up with Beverly Luff Linn
and his shit event for the past week
1251
01:34:06,050 --> 01:34:09,453
because the woman I am in love
with is in love with him.
1252
01:34:09,455 --> 01:34:12,124
So, no, I will not
stay out of this.
1253
01:34:15,628 --> 01:34:18,695
You have no idea, Edmund,
how lucky you are
1254
01:34:18,697 --> 01:34:22,668
to even have the possibility
of loving this special woman.
1255
01:34:26,572 --> 01:34:28,273
Oh,
1256
01:34:30,408 --> 01:34:32,545
I know all too well
how special she is.
1257
01:34:36,015 --> 01:34:37,550
♪ There was a little Lubird ♪
1258
01:34:39,485 --> 01:34:41,019
♪ As little as can be ♪
1259
01:34:43,054 --> 01:34:44,723
♪ And everywhere
That Edmund went ♪
1260
01:34:46,090 --> 01:34:47,425
♪ The Lubird went with he ♪
1261
01:34:49,795 --> 01:34:51,697
♪ They went to swim in oceans ♪
1262
01:34:53,131 --> 01:34:55,532
♪ They went to walk on land ♪
1263
01:34:55,534 --> 01:34:58,037
♪ And everywhere
They went together ♪
1264
01:35:00,272 --> 01:35:02,974
♪ They went there
Holding hands ♪
1265
01:35:05,544 --> 01:35:09,314
Meine kleine Lubird.
1266
01:35:21,260 --> 01:35:25,997
Do you know what it feels like
when you simply don't belong?
1267
01:35:26,599 --> 01:35:27,466
Yes.
1268
01:35:38,743 --> 01:35:40,278
Edmund, wait!
1269
01:36:32,498 --> 01:36:35,131
[music pounding]
1270
01:36:35,133 --> 01:36:38,334
Someone drinking
a Rum and a Ramble?
1271
01:36:38,336 --> 01:36:41,172
Um, well, let's see.
Yeah, it would appear so.
1272
01:36:43,575 --> 01:36:44,542
And how is it?
1273
01:36:46,177 --> 01:36:48,279
As creamy and delicious
as the last time.
1274
01:36:50,548 --> 01:36:52,150
Can I join you?
1275
01:36:59,625 --> 01:37:02,325
Captain, I'll have two
A Rumble in the Heather.
1276
01:37:02,327 --> 01:37:03,827
Absolutely, Miss Lulu.
1277
01:37:03,829 --> 01:37:06,164
And two more Rum and Rambles
for me, thanks, Captain.
1278
01:37:07,532 --> 01:37:10,268
Going out with a bang
at the Moorhouse Hotel?
1279
01:37:11,302 --> 01:37:13,571
I'm driving out in the morning.
1280
01:37:16,441 --> 01:37:18,173
Where are you going?
1281
01:37:18,175 --> 01:37:21,177
Colin would rather that
remain top secret, thank you.
1282
01:37:21,179 --> 01:37:23,114
But Lulu would like
Colin to tell her.
1283
01:37:24,617 --> 01:37:26,719
You don't have access
to that information.
1284
01:37:34,325 --> 01:37:38,196
You should know...
that Edmund was my first love.
1285
01:37:44,436 --> 01:37:46,304
You can have other loves.
1286
01:37:51,744 --> 01:37:57,947
Two Rumbles in the Heather and
two large Rum and a Ramble.
1287
01:37:57,949 --> 01:38:01,886
[music pounding]
1288
01:38:04,455 --> 01:38:06,287
[record scratches]
1289
01:38:06,289 --> 01:38:07,225
[slurping]
1290
01:38:13,398 --> 01:38:14,933
[music starts]
1291
01:38:19,004 --> 01:38:20,371
I love this song.
1292
01:38:23,007 --> 01:38:24,375
Don't you love this song?
1293
01:38:25,743 --> 01:38:26,778
I'm not familiar
with it.
1294
01:38:27,879 --> 01:38:28,913
But do you love it?
1295
01:38:31,016 --> 01:38:34,617
[man sings]
♪ Don't come easy to me ♪
1296
01:38:34,619 --> 01:38:36,719
It's all right.
1297
01:38:36,721 --> 01:38:38,587
But don't you love it?
1298
01:38:38,589 --> 01:38:41,457
♪ To make you see ♪
1299
01:38:41,459 --> 01:38:44,696
♪ I love you Words don't come
easy ♪ Do you want to dance?
1300
01:38:46,731 --> 01:38:49,400
It's been a long time.
My moves are rusty.
1301
01:38:50,535 --> 01:38:51,669
It's okay.
Mine are too.
1302
01:38:54,505 --> 01:39:00,609
♪ This is the only way
For me to say ♪
1303
01:39:00,611 --> 01:39:01,978
♪ I love you ♪
1304
01:39:01,980 --> 01:39:04,215
♪ Words don't come easy ♪
1305
01:39:06,317 --> 01:39:09,785
♪ Well, I'm just a music man ♪
1306
01:39:09,787 --> 01:39:13,989
♪ Melodies are so far
My best friend ♪
1307
01:39:13,991 --> 01:39:17,693
♪ But my words
Are coming out wrong ♪
1308
01:39:17,695 --> 01:39:21,630
♪ And I
I reveal my heart to you ♪
1309
01:39:21,632 --> 01:39:28,370
♪ And hope that you believe
It's true 'cause ♪
1310
01:39:28,372 --> 01:39:34,677
♪ Words
Don't come easy to me ♪
1311
01:39:34,679 --> 01:39:41,016
♪ How can I find a way
To make you see? ♪
1312
01:39:41,018 --> 01:39:45,256
♪ I love you
Words don't come easy ♪
1313
01:39:46,858 --> 01:39:50,593
♪ This is just a simple song ♪
1314
01:39:50,595 --> 01:39:54,563
♪ That I've made for you
On my own ♪
1315
01:39:54,565 --> 01:39:59,835
♪ There's no hidden meaning
You know when I... ♪
1316
01:39:59,837 --> 01:40:03,072
♪ When I say
I love you, honey ♪
1317
01:40:03,074 --> 01:40:08,811
♪ Please believe I really do
'Cause ♪
1318
01:40:08,813 --> 01:40:10,748
[rock riff]
1319
01:40:20,758 --> 01:40:27,062
♪ Words
Don't come easy to me ♪
1320
01:40:27,064 --> 01:40:33,636
♪ How can I find a way
To make you see? ♪
1321
01:40:33,638 --> 01:40:37,473
♪ I love you
Words don't come easy ♪
1322
01:40:37,475 --> 01:40:38,042
[scratches, stops]
1323
01:41:07,905 --> 01:41:09,674
You know
what I was thinking?
1324
01:41:11,776 --> 01:41:14,678
Every girl needs a Colin,
Colin.
1325
01:41:15,913 --> 01:41:16,880
[Colin]
Be right back.
1326
01:41:25,857 --> 01:41:28,826
Now, Colin.
Now's the time.
1327
01:42:15,773 --> 01:42:17,607
I love you,
Colin.
1328
01:42:23,047 --> 01:42:24,015
What did you say?
1329
01:42:27,550 --> 01:42:29,786
I think I said I love you.
1330
01:42:34,859 --> 01:42:36,060
I love you too, Lulu.
1331
01:43:17,067 --> 01:43:18,736
[dings]
1332
01:43:33,317 --> 01:43:35,950
I'll tell you something, Bev.
1333
01:43:35,952 --> 01:43:40,054
This young pup'll be very keen to
get away from the shitpick dickhole
1334
01:43:40,056 --> 01:43:42,093
that was the Moorhouse Hotel.
1335
01:43:43,227 --> 01:43:44,195
There's your nibbles.
1336
01:43:45,963 --> 01:43:47,264
Nibbles, Bev.
1337
01:43:49,867 --> 01:43:51,102
Bev, nibbles.
1338
01:43:53,270 --> 01:43:55,139
Nibbles, Bev.
1339
01:43:56,673 --> 01:43:57,707
Bev, nibbles.
1340
01:43:59,175 --> 01:44:01,711
Bev, nibbles.
1341
01:44:03,813 --> 01:44:06,117
Bev, Bev.
1342
01:44:09,320 --> 01:44:10,319
Whoa, Bev!
1343
01:44:10,321 --> 01:44:12,754
Help! Help!
1344
01:44:12,756 --> 01:44:15,625
Help! Help!
We've got a death in here!
1345
01:44:16,293 --> 01:44:18,360
Help! Help!
1346
01:44:18,362 --> 01:44:21,231
This is a death scene!
Hmm!
1347
01:44:23,367 --> 01:44:24,734
[groans]
Oh, my...
1348
01:44:26,102 --> 01:44:29,904
Good God, Bev. You scared
the hell out of me.
1349
01:44:29,906 --> 01:44:31,042
We all thought
you'd died!
1350
01:44:34,345 --> 01:44:35,944
[sighs]
1351
01:44:35,946 --> 01:44:37,314
[loud] Hmmm!
1352
01:44:38,315 --> 01:44:39,783
Mmmm.
1353
01:44:42,819 --> 01:44:45,219
[chuckles]
1354
01:44:45,221 --> 01:44:47,355
[laughs]
1355
01:44:47,357 --> 01:44:50,058
[chuckles]
1356
01:44:50,060 --> 01:44:51,161
Hmm.
1357
01:44:53,863 --> 01:44:55,831
[both chuckle]
1358
01:44:55,833 --> 01:44:58,635
[music thumping]
1359
01:45:06,209 --> 01:45:07,577
[Beverly]
Mm-hmm.
1360
01:45:10,146 --> 01:45:11,681
Hmm.
1361
01:45:14,350 --> 01:45:15,852
[Beverly]
Mm-hmm.
1362
01:45:18,389 --> 01:45:19,823
Mm-hmm.
1363
01:45:38,374 --> 01:45:39,943
Mm-hmm.
1364
01:45:42,413 --> 01:45:43,813
[groaning]
1365
01:45:46,317 --> 01:45:47,717
Mm-hmm.
1366
01:45:50,321 --> 01:45:52,088
[groaning]
1367
01:45:54,290 --> 01:45:55,358
Mm-hmm.
1368
01:45:58,061 --> 01:46:00,163
[groaning]
1369
01:46:02,298 --> 01:46:03,867
Mm-hmm.
1370
01:46:06,303 --> 01:46:07,336
Mm-hmm.
1371
01:46:07,338 --> 01:46:10,073
[vocalizing]
[synthesized music]
1372
01:46:26,356 --> 01:46:27,856
Mm-hmm.
1373
01:46:30,461 --> 01:46:32,129
Mm-hmm.
1374
01:46:34,365 --> 01:46:35,932
Mm-hmm.
1375
01:46:38,835 --> 01:46:40,003
Mm-hmm.
1376
01:46:42,372 --> 01:46:44,207
Mm-hmm.
1377
01:46:46,742 --> 01:46:48,111
Mm-hmm.
1378
01:46:50,480 --> 01:46:51,880
Mm-hmm.
1379
01:46:54,485 --> 01:46:55,785
Mm-hmm.
1380
01:46:57,987 --> 01:46:59,923
[music stops]
Mm-hmm.
1381
01:47:00,957 --> 01:47:04,394
[music changes]
1382
01:47:26,783 --> 01:47:29,786
[groaning]
1383
01:47:33,389 --> 01:47:35,958
[low groaning]
1384
01:47:38,961 --> 01:47:41,431
[groans]
1385
01:47:49,405 --> 01:47:51,441
[groans]
1386
01:47:53,142 --> 01:47:56,179
[grunting]
1387
01:47:59,982 --> 01:48:02,416
[groans]
1388
01:48:02,418 --> 01:48:05,087
[grunts]
1389
01:48:05,089 --> 01:48:08,406
Subtitles by explosiveskull
101251
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