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WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en
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[Music]
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ah
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i<00:00:17.600> think<00:00:17.840> i<00:00:17.920> just<00:00:18.080> made<00:00:18.320> the<00:00:18.400> worst<00:00:18.640> mistake<00:00:19.039> of
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i think i just made the worst mistake of
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i think i just made the worst mistake of
my<00:00:19.279> life
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dear<00:00:30.560> diary
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dear diary
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dear diary
it's<00:00:32.079> been<00:00:32.320> two<00:00:32.480> weeks<00:00:32.800> since<00:00:33.040> i<00:00:33.200> ended<00:00:33.440> things
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it's been two weeks since i ended things
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it's been two weeks since i ended things
with<00:00:33.760> betty
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with betty
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with betty
two<00:00:35.360> weeks<00:00:35.920> of<00:00:36.160> agonizing<00:00:36.880> over<00:00:37.280> every<00:00:37.520> memory
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two weeks of agonizing over every memory
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two weeks of agonizing over every memory
every<00:00:39.040> text
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every text
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every text
every<00:00:41.360> letter<00:00:41.680> she's<00:00:41.920> ever<00:00:42.160> sent<00:00:42.399> me
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oh<00:00:51.440> betty<00:00:51.760> wait<00:00:52.079> um<00:00:52.480> you<00:00:52.640> dropped<00:00:52.960> this
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oh betty wait um you dropped this
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oh betty wait um you dropped this
uh<00:00:54.000> it's<00:00:54.239> for<00:00:54.399> you
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oh<00:00:57.760> um
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oh um
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oh um
you<00:00:59.840> want<00:01:00.000> me<00:01:00.079> to<00:01:00.160> open<00:01:00.320> it<00:01:00.399> now<00:01:00.559> i<00:01:00.640> can<00:01:00.719> have<00:01:00.800> it
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you want me to open it now i can have it
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you want me to open it now i can have it
now<00:01:01.039> or<00:01:01.199> later<00:01:01.440> because<00:01:01.600> i<00:01:01.680> don't<00:01:01.840> know<00:01:02.160> later
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now or later because i don't know later
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now or later because i don't know later
later's<00:01:03.440> fine
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cool
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cool
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cool
cool
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dear<00:01:31.600> elite
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dear elite
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dear elite
i'm<00:01:33.520> sorry<00:01:33.840> if<00:01:34.000> this<00:01:34.240> is<00:01:34.400> out<00:01:34.479> of<00:01:34.640> line<00:01:35.439> or<00:01:35.680> if
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i'm sorry if this is out of line or if
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i'm sorry if this is out of line or if
you<00:01:36.079> never<00:01:36.320> want<00:01:36.479> to<00:01:36.640> see<00:01:36.799> me<00:01:36.960> again<00:01:37.280> after
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you never want to see me again after
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you never want to see me again after
reading<00:01:37.840> this<00:01:38.159> but<00:01:38.320> i<00:01:38.560> can't<00:01:38.880> keep<00:01:39.119> pretending
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reading this but i can't keep pretending
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reading this but i can't keep pretending
that<00:01:39.920> i<00:01:40.079> don't<00:01:40.400> see<00:01:40.640> you<00:01:40.799> in<00:01:40.880> a<00:01:40.960> way<00:01:41.200> that<00:01:41.360> i
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that i don't see you in a way that i
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that i don't see you in a way that i
shouldn't<00:01:42.399> i<00:01:42.720> can't<00:01:42.960> keep<00:01:43.119> pretending<00:01:44.159> that<00:01:44.479> i
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shouldn't i can't keep pretending that i
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shouldn't i can't keep pretending that i
don't<00:01:44.960> want<00:01:45.119> to<00:01:45.280> kiss<00:01:45.600> you<00:01:46.000> every<00:01:46.399> time<00:01:46.720> you
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don't want to kiss you every time you
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don't want to kiss you every time you
get<00:01:47.119> flustered<00:01:48.079> and<00:01:48.320> ramble<00:01:48.720> on<00:01:48.880> about<00:01:49.119> things
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get flustered and ramble on about things
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get flustered and ramble on about things
that<00:01:49.600> make<00:01:49.840> zero<00:01:50.240> sense
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that make zero sense
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that make zero sense
i<00:01:51.840> don't<00:01:52.000> want<00:01:52.159> to<00:01:52.320> have<00:01:52.560> to<00:01:52.640> pretend<00:01:53.119> anymore
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i don't want to have to pretend anymore
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i don't want to have to pretend anymore
i'm<00:01:54.960> only<00:01:55.360> telling<00:01:55.600> you<00:01:55.840> this<00:01:56.479> in<00:01:56.640> case<00:01:56.960> maybe
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i'm only telling you this in case maybe
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i'm only telling you this in case maybe
just<00:01:58.399> just<00:01:58.960> maybe<00:01:59.360> you<00:01:59.600> feel<00:01:59.840> the<00:01:59.920> same<00:02:00.159> way
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just just maybe you feel the same way
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just just maybe you feel the same way
wow<00:02:01.680> it'll<00:02:01.920> be<00:02:02.159> mortifying<00:02:02.799> if<00:02:02.960> you<00:02:03.040> don't
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wow it'll be mortifying if you don't
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wow it'll be mortifying if you don't
anyway<00:02:05.119> i'll<00:02:05.520> be<00:02:05.680> at<00:02:05.759> the<00:02:06.000> shore<00:02:06.320> if<00:02:06.479> you<00:02:06.560> want
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anyway i'll be at the shore if you want
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anyway i'll be at the shore if you want
to<00:02:06.719> come<00:02:06.960> and<00:02:07.040> yell<00:02:07.280> at<00:02:07.360> me<00:02:07.520> for<00:02:07.680> writing<00:02:08.000> this
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to come and yell at me for writing this
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to come and yell at me for writing this
or<00:02:08.879> or<00:02:09.440> kiss<00:02:09.759> me<00:02:10.080> or
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or or kiss me or
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or or kiss me or
i<00:02:11.440> i<00:02:11.520> don't<00:02:11.840> i<00:02:11.920> don't<00:02:12.080> know<00:02:12.319> i'll<00:02:12.560> be<00:02:12.800> there
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i i don't i don't know i'll be there
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i i don't i don't know i'll be there
i<00:02:14.000> hope<00:02:14.239> you'll<00:02:14.400> be<00:02:14.560> there<00:02:14.720> too
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i hope you'll be there too
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i hope you'll be there too
you<00:02:16.480> know<00:02:16.640> what<00:02:16.720> really<00:02:17.040> sucks<00:02:17.440> diary
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you know what really sucks diary
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you know what really sucks diary
because<00:02:18.800> everything<00:02:19.280> makes<00:02:19.520> me<00:02:19.599> think<00:02:19.840> of<00:02:20.000> her
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because everything makes me think of her
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because everything makes me think of her
i<00:02:21.120> had<00:02:21.200> to<00:02:21.360> burn<00:02:21.599> one<00:02:21.760> of<00:02:21.840> my<00:02:22.000> best<00:02:22.239> dresses
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i had to burn one of my best dresses
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i had to burn one of my best dresses
because<00:02:22.879> whenever<00:02:23.200> i<00:02:23.280> looked<00:02:23.520> at<00:02:23.680> it
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because whenever i looked at it
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because whenever i looked at it
it<00:02:24.480> reminded<00:02:24.959> me<00:02:25.200> when<00:02:25.360> she<00:02:25.520> told<00:02:25.760> me<00:02:25.920> she'd
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it reminded me when she told me she'd
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it reminded me when she told me she'd
never<00:02:26.319> seen<00:02:26.560> someone<00:02:26.800> look<00:02:27.040> so<00:02:27.280> pretty<00:02:27.520> in<00:02:27.599> the
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never seen someone look so pretty in the
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never seen someone look so pretty in the
color<00:02:28.000> pink
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told<00:02:31.200> me<00:02:31.280> i<00:02:31.360> had<00:02:31.519> to<00:02:31.599> leave<00:02:31.760> my<00:02:31.920> bedroom
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told me i had to leave my bedroom
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told me i had to leave my bedroom
because<00:02:32.560> we<00:02:32.720> were<00:02:32.879> nearing<00:02:33.120> my<00:02:33.360> 15th<00:02:33.840> day<00:02:34.080> of
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because we were nearing my 15th day of
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because we were nearing my 15th day of
only<00:02:34.480> leaving<00:02:34.800> my<00:02:34.959> room<00:02:35.200> for<00:02:35.360> dinner<00:02:35.680> at
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only leaving my room for dinner at
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only leaving my room for dinner at
church
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church
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church
of<00:02:37.760> course<00:02:37.920> he<00:02:38.080> didn't<00:02:38.160> know<00:02:38.319> why<00:02:38.480> i<00:02:38.560> was<00:02:38.720> so
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of course he didn't know why i was so
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of course he didn't know why i was so
upset
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upset
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upset
he'd<00:02:41.200> kill<00:02:41.360> me<00:02:41.519> if<00:02:41.680> he<00:02:41.760> did
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he'd kill me if he did
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he'd kill me if he did
the<00:02:43.840> people<00:02:44.160> in<00:02:44.239> our<00:02:44.400> town<00:02:44.640> say<00:02:44.800> he's<00:02:45.040> the<00:02:45.120> best
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the people in our town say he's the best
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the people in our town say he's the best
the<00:02:45.440> church<00:02:45.680> has<00:02:45.760> had<00:02:46.000> in<00:02:46.160> decades
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the church has had in decades
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the church has had in decades
i<00:02:47.519> didn't<00:02:47.680> believe<00:02:48.000> it<00:02:48.480> how<00:02:48.720> can<00:02:48.879> you<00:02:49.040> preach
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i didn't believe it how can you preach
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i didn't believe it how can you preach
about<00:02:49.599> an<00:02:49.760> all<00:02:49.920> living<00:02:50.319> god<00:02:50.560> who<00:02:51.200> really<00:02:51.599> isn't
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about an all living god who really isn't
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about an all living god who really isn't
that<00:02:52.160> all<00:02:52.319> loving
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the<00:02:55.519> beach
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the beach
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the beach
is<00:02:56.879> what<00:02:56.959> reminded<00:02:57.360> me<00:02:57.440> of<00:02:57.599> her<00:02:57.680> the<00:02:57.760> most
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is what reminded me of her the most
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is what reminded me of her the most
she<00:02:59.040> used<00:02:59.200> to<00:02:59.280> say<00:02:59.440> that<00:02:59.519> it<00:02:59.680> was<00:02:59.760> the<00:02:59.840> only
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she used to say that it was the only
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she used to say that it was the only
thing<00:03:00.159> that<00:03:00.319> felt<00:03:00.480> like<00:03:00.720> home
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thing that felt like home
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thing that felt like home
betty<00:03:01.920> was<00:03:02.000> from<00:03:02.159> california<00:03:02.720> and<00:03:02.800> moved<00:03:02.959> here
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betty was from california and moved here
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betty was from california and moved here
last<00:03:03.360> year<00:03:03.519> because<00:03:03.680> her<00:03:03.760> mom<00:03:04.000> got<00:03:04.159> some<00:03:04.319> real
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last year because her mom got some real
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last year because her mom got some real
estate<00:03:04.879> job
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estate job
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estate job
she<00:03:06.640> kissed<00:03:06.879> me<00:03:07.040> here
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she kissed me here
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she kissed me here
you<00:03:08.000> know<00:03:08.159> for<00:03:08.319> the<00:03:08.400> first<00:03:08.640> time
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you know for the first time
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you know for the first time
i<00:03:09.920> guess<00:03:10.159> i<00:03:10.239> kissed<00:03:10.480> her<00:03:11.040> but
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i guess i kissed her but
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i guess i kissed her but
it<00:03:12.000> doesn't<00:03:12.239> really<00:03:12.400> matter<00:03:12.720> now<00:03:12.879> does<00:03:13.120> it<00:03:13.440> hey
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it doesn't really matter now does it hey
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it doesn't really matter now does it hey
you<00:03:14.800> came
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you came
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you came
yeah
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yeah
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yeah
i<00:03:17.519> really<00:03:17.840> hope<00:03:18.080> it<00:03:18.239> isn't<00:03:18.400> to<00:03:18.640> yell<00:03:18.879> at<00:03:19.040> me
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i<00:03:35.920> was<00:03:36.159> always<00:03:36.480> so<00:03:36.720> afraid
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i was always so afraid
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i was always so afraid
afraid<00:03:38.959> someone<00:03:39.280> would<00:03:39.440> see<00:03:39.680> afraid<00:03:40.080> of<00:03:40.159> what
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afraid someone would see afraid of what
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afraid someone would see afraid of what
people<00:03:40.560> would<00:03:40.720> think
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people would think
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people would think
afraid<00:03:41.920> that
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afraid that
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afraid that
maybe<00:03:43.599> the<00:03:43.760> church<00:03:44.000> was<00:03:44.239> right
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but<00:03:52.480> they<00:03:52.720> must<00:03:53.040> have<00:03:53.120> been<00:03:53.360> wrong
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but they must have been wrong
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but they must have been wrong
i<00:03:54.959> guess<00:03:55.120> this<00:03:55.360> felt<00:03:55.680> so<00:03:56.000> right
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i guess this felt so right
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i guess this felt so right
stumble<00:03:58.720> your<00:03:58.959> eyes<00:03:59.200> you're<00:03:59.360> just<00:03:59.519> bad<00:03:59.840> at<00:04:00.000> it
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[Applause]
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do<00:04:18.160> you<00:04:18.239> think<00:04:18.400> someone<00:04:18.720> saw<00:04:18.959> it
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do you think someone saw it
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do you think someone saw it
my<00:04:20.320> dad<00:04:20.479> would<00:04:20.799> kill<00:04:21.199> me<00:04:21.600> it's<00:04:21.919> it's<00:04:22.320> i'm<00:04:22.479> sorry
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my dad would kill me it's it's i'm sorry
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my dad would kill me it's it's i'm sorry
i<00:04:22.880> used<00:04:23.040> to<00:04:23.120> go<00:04:23.440> on<00:04:23.600> ellie
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i used to go on ellie
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i used to go on ellie
ellie<00:04:25.919> it's<00:04:26.160> fine
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ellie it's fine
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ellie it's fine
that<00:04:28.880> fear<00:04:29.120> is<00:04:29.199> what<00:04:29.360> led<00:04:29.520> me<00:04:29.600> to<00:04:29.759> her<00:04:29.919> doorstep
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that fear is what led me to her doorstep
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that fear is what led me to her doorstep
that's<00:04:31.360> what<00:04:31.600> made<00:04:31.759> me<00:04:31.840> do<00:04:32.000> what<00:04:32.160> was<00:04:32.320> maybe
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that's what made me do what was maybe
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that's what made me do what was maybe
the<00:04:32.720> stupidest<00:04:33.120> thing<00:04:33.360> i'd<00:04:33.520> ever<00:04:33.680> done
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i'm<00:04:38.400> really<00:04:38.800> sorry<00:04:39.280> please<00:04:39.680> don't<00:04:39.919> do<00:04:40.080> this
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i'm really sorry please don't do this
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i'm really sorry please don't do this
i'm<00:04:42.800> really<00:04:43.120> sorry
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
but<00:04:50.080> diary<00:04:50.800> as<00:04:51.040> i'm<00:04:51.199> writing<00:04:51.440> this<00:04:51.680> i'm
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but diary as i'm writing this i'm
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but diary as i'm writing this i'm
realizing<00:04:52.240> that<00:04:52.639> i'm<00:04:52.800> just<00:04:53.040> running<00:04:53.360> away
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realizing that i'm just running away
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realizing that i'm just running away
i'm<00:04:54.639> running<00:04:54.880> from<00:04:55.040> something<00:04:55.360> real
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i'm running from something real
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i'm running from something real
something<00:04:55.919> good<00:04:56.160> and
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something good and
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something good and
i<00:04:57.440> don't<00:04:57.600> think<00:04:57.840> that<00:04:57.919> i'm<00:04:58.080> willing<00:04:58.320> to<00:04:58.400> give
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i don't think that i'm willing to give
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i don't think that i'm willing to give
it<00:04:58.800> up
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[Music]
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look<00:05:17.840> i<00:05:18.000> know<00:05:18.240> what<00:05:18.479> i<00:05:18.560> did<00:05:19.199> was<00:05:19.440> dumb<00:05:20.160> and
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look i know what i did was dumb and
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look i know what i did was dumb and
stupid<00:05:20.800> but
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stupid but
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stupid but
i<00:05:21.600> was<00:05:21.759> just<00:05:22.000> scared
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i was just scared
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i was just scared
you<00:05:23.120> know
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you know
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you know
but<00:05:25.360> you're<00:05:25.440> like<00:05:25.600> the<00:05:25.680> best<00:05:25.919> person<00:05:26.240> i've
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but you're like the best person i've
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but you're like the best person i've
ever<00:05:26.560> met<00:05:27.039> i'd<00:05:27.199> be<00:05:27.360> like<00:05:27.520> if<00:05:27.680> you<00:05:27.759> ever<00:05:27.919> talk<00:05:28.160> to
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ever met i'd be like if you ever talk to
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ever met i'd be like if you ever talk to
me<00:05:28.400> again<00:05:28.880> but<00:05:29.039> i<00:05:29.120> just<00:05:29.280> wanted<00:05:29.520> to<00:05:29.680> tell<00:05:29.840> you
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me again but i just wanted to tell you
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me again but i just wanted to tell you
that<00:05:30.160> i'm<00:05:30.320> not
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that i'm not
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that i'm not
scared<00:05:31.759> anymore
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and<00:05:35.840> i<00:05:36.000> love<00:05:36.160> you
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okay<00:05:43.440> well
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okay well
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okay well
this<00:05:44.479> is<00:05:44.639> awkward<00:05:45.440> and<00:05:45.680> embarrassing<00:05:46.160> so<00:05:46.400> i'm
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this is awkward and embarrassing so i'm
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this is awkward and embarrassing so i'm
just<00:05:46.639> gonna
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i<00:05:57.440> guess<00:05:57.680> what<00:05:57.919> diary
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i guess what diary
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i guess what diary
that<00:05:59.919> was<00:06:00.080> the<00:06:00.160> first<00:06:00.400> time<00:06:00.639> i<00:06:00.720> didn't<00:06:00.960> look<00:06:01.120> to
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that was the first time i didn't look to
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that was the first time i didn't look to
see<00:06:01.440> if<00:06:01.520> people<00:06:01.840> were<00:06:02.000> watching
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i<00:06:05.440> didn't<00:06:05.680> care
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
so
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
you
32406
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