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[It's Not Easy Being King]

[Episode 8]

Drink up, Your Majesty!

You don't want to?

I'll give you a massage then!

I'm not tired or hungry. I don't have an appetite.

No appetite? Then how about...

- your appetite for me? - No, get back. Freeze.

Your Majesty, what game are you playing with me?

She has such degenerate ideas.

Game? Right! I can play a game with her and get out of here.

A game... have you played statues before?

That's what we're going to play.

When I say count to three you freeze, okay?

- Okay, okay! - One... two... three!

Good, good. This is good.

- Now it's my turn to freeze. You count. - Okay. One, two, three!

It's so fun! Your Majesty, I want more!

But... Don't you think it's boring?

It's so late. Aren't you tired?

No. Nothing tires me when I'm around you.

Your Majesty, I also want to play on the swings.

Play with me, will you? Let's swing!

Listen... I don't feel well today.

Ah, see. I've got an upset stomach.

Next time, okay? Next time.

Raincheck! I need to go.

Your Majesty, Your Majesty!

What's the deal? I'm not a tiger.

You can all go.

- Your Majesty has returned. - I'm back.

Ni Chang's was great. Good wine, good food, good company.

It was amazing.

Her skin is so white and it's so smooth!

It's just I'm not used to being in your body yet

so I don't think I performed too well in bed.

I don't know what people are going to say about you when word gets out.

What are you doing?

Stay away! I know martial arts.

I...

Look how terrified you are.

You? Performing in bed?

Do you even know what goes on in bed?

Of course I do!

A man and a woman sleep together and have a baby.

Don't underestimate me.

Really? You think it's that simple?

Then how about...

I test you?

What are you doing?

Oh right.

Just a reminder, you're shielding the wrong place.

You should be shielding...

down there.

You-- Asshole!

Your Majesty.

Forgive me. My stomach really hurts. I can't hold it any longer.

Da Xi can take my place.

- Your Majesty. - I--

- Your Majesty, I can't hold it anymore. - You--

You did this, didn't you?

I did it so I could keep an eye on you. Make sure you don't cause any trouble.

You're not afraid I'll report you to the officials?

A palace maid sneaking into the Imperial Court...

Go on then. Worst comes to worst, my head falls off. It's not my body.

Fine. I happen to like being King.

You're welcome to go die for me.

So?

Help me pursue Shao Yong!

You're still not over that?

Then let me repeat myself. I'm... not going to.

Do whatever you want.

Fine. Don't regret your decision.

Greetings, Your Majesty.

- Rise. - Thank you, Your Majesty.

- All those with-- - I've come here today...

because there is something I would like to discuss with you.

Understood.

Yesterday, I had a dream. I dreamed of a spirit.

In that dream, the spirit taught me a few steps of an ancient dance.

I haven't been able to get this dance out of my mind.

So I'm thinking...

Perhaps I should perform this dance. Get it out of my system.

And simultaneously... pass it on.

Are we having fun?

Your Majesty is so graceful. We can't compare.

- I do not dare-- - Dance with me.

Dance with me!

Come on! Come!

- Come on! - Move! Out of the way!

Everyone together, yes!

Let me go! Let go of me, what are you doing?

Shouldn't I be asking you that? What are you doing?

What do you think that place is?

It's the Great Hall!

It's not a stage for your jokes.

Have you forgotten everything I've told you?

This is too much.

Right now... I am the King. I can do whatever I want.

You'd better prepare to see me wreck havoc on your Court

unless you help me pursue Shao Yong.

It looks like I'm going to have to come up with plans

to continuously mess with them for the unforeseeable future.

All right. Fine.

Since you aren't keeping your promise...

I don't need to be considerate of you either.

Let me make this clear.

I will never help you pursue Shao Yong.

But I can help you do other things.

Such as, accidentally falling on my face whilst cleaning.

Right on the stairs.

Or spilling water over my face because I can't control my hands

while I'm holding a cup of hot water.

Or... having too much wine and prancing around the palace naked.

You don't need to look at me like that.

I know you want to thank me.

But we're so close, aren't we? Don't be a stranger.

You're threatening me!

Now we're on even ground.

If you ruin my reputation, I'm going to ruin your face.

If you're reputation is ruined along with it...

well, then it's a buy one get one free deal.

Wonderful. How brilliant.

You'd go to such lengths even though you know how much I treasure my face?

I hate you.

I hate you! I'm not talking to you anymore!

Why fight her? Now she's upset and I'm not happy either.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Princess, slow down. Wait for me.

What do you know? This matter is of utmost importance, understand?

Stupid Shao Yong.

When the Empress Dowager orders you to marry me...

I doubt you'd dare go against her word.

What I do to you then depends on my mood.

There'll come a day when you'll be afraid of going east if I tell you to go west

and you'll afraid of sitting down if I make you stand.

Empress Dowager, don't worry.

We can leave the government affairs to His Majesty and his men.

Us women just have to take good care of them.

That is what they say, but I'm the Empress Dowager.

Helping His Majesty with his work is part of my duty.

He hasn't been on the throne for too long.

Many unfriendly eyes are upon him.

This has long been a concern of ours.

Your Highness, have you come up with a solution?

I keep considering marrying one of the imperial girls off to them.

But I have yet to find a clever, quick-witted girl

in the imperial family who seems clever and capable.

Now that I think about it, however... I think I've thought of someone.

- Princess, what's wrong? - Be quiet and come with me.

Two!

Three!

- Princess, you don't look well. - Shut up. You're annoying me.

Look, it's Official Shao.

Six!

Seven!

- Princess. - Eight!

How dare you not greet me?

Princess.

That's enough.

I am afraid and do not want to burden you.

Do you have time later?

I want to talk with you.

Forgive me. I have to train the soldiers.

General, do you mind if I borrow Official Shao for a moment?

I am busy, please excuse me.

Don't run! Stop right there! I'm telling you to stop!

I knew you couldn't escape from me.

Official Shao!

Shao Yong, Shao Yong!

Official Shao! What happened?

Shao Yong!

How are you?

- Shao Yong. - Be quiet!

It looks like Shao Yong has passed out from the heat.

A heat stroke? In this weather? Are you kidding me?

I wouldn't dare.

If you're still worried, you can come to our quarters.

It is just that we're a bunch of men.

Our rooms are dirty, messy, and old.

- It may ruin your appetite. - Enough. So much babbling.

- Hurry and carry him back. - Yes.

I'm informing you, if anything happens to him, watch your heads.

Yes.

Here, slowly. Over here.

- He's inside. - All right.

The Princess didn't follow us here.

- Thank goodness. - Official Shao.

How do you feel?

I'm fine. Sorry for troubling you.

If the Princess asks, please cover for me.

Thank you, Official Shao.

- Since you're fine, I'll take my leave. - Thank you again.

- Leave us. - Yes.

Spill. Why did you pretend to fall ill?

You saw everything and you still have to ask?

I don't understand you.

The Princess fell in love with you at first sight when you saved her.

- Why are you like enemies now? - The Princess is of noble status.

- I can't mingle with people like that. - This isn't a permanent solution.

She's going to kill you if she finds out.

I'm just going to live one day at a time.

I'd rather risk faking illness than have anything to do with her.

Parents and matchmakers dictate marriage...

I don't believe you'd go against your mother's wishes

and risk being labeled a terrible son.

- Maid. - Princess, what can I do?

Find the capital's best matchmakers and bring them here..

Yes.

Princess, this is Madam Gu.

She's the one who matched the Su family's spinster.

Her match is one of the richest in the city.

No, she looks too shrewd.

What if she scares Shao Yong's mother?

Next.

This is Madam Miao.

She is the one who made the match

between the Li family's foolish son and his beautiful wife.

Why didn't you mention all the betrothal gifts his family had to send

in order to make that match happen.

Madam Miao is just all talk.

Next.

- The Princess is so picky. - Yeah.

Miss Chun Ni, what kind of matchmaker does the Princess actually want?

Not to mention, the imperial family's marriages are arranged in the palace.

Exactly! What are we doing here?

Maids.

These were prepared by the Princess as a thank you.

Whomever successfully makes the match will get everything.

Which family's son is the Princess after?

Madam Shao's only son. He is currently a palace guard. Official Shao Yong.

We're finally on leave. I'm so exhausted.

Where do you all plan on relaxing?

I'm going home to see my son. It's been a while.

I don't even know if he'll recognize me.

How great for you, you have a wife and son waiting.

I'm screwed.

Why?

My father arranged a match for me

and wants me to use my leave to come and check her out.

Isn't that a good thing?

Shao Yong, what about you?

Me?

I plan on hiding out at your homes.

Isn't that... kind of inconvenient?

Yeah, I'd planned on going to explore some nearby cities.

Why don't you just go home and talk to your mother?

Hiding isn't really a solution, you know.

That's right.

- It's him, isn't it? Yes, he's the one! - Official Shao!

- Official Shao! - What's going on?

- Official Shao! - It's over. I've got to run!

Official Shao, don't run away!

Shao Yong!

- Out of the way, out of the way. - Official Shao! Don't run!

Don't run, Official Shao! Don't run!

- A runaway groom? - Doesn't look like it.

- Move, they're back! - Don't run! Official Shao!

- I'm sorry. - What's wrong with you?

Watch where you going.

Official Shao! Don't run!

Don't run!

- Ma'am, are you all right? - Why is it so slippery?

My foot...

Princess, you've been pacing for two hours. You should rest.

- Princess. - How is it going?

All the matchmakers were chasing him down, but... he got away.

Useless! Not a single one managed to catch Shao Yong?

And they call themselves the best matchmakers?

And you people, completely useless.

Didn't I tell you to watch him? How did he get away?

Well...

Why are you still standing here? Hurry and chase after him!

- Yes, understood. - Wait.

Princess.

Stop stammering and speak.

- Men. - Yes.

I apologize for doing this to you.

I just no longer wish to have anything to do with the Princess.

Tell your Princess to leave me alone from now on.

Otherwise...

this isn't going to be the worst of it.

Do forgive me if I have harmed you or insulted the Princess.

I apologize for my actions.

Official Shao, there's been a misunderstanding!

We aren't the Princess's men. We guard the general's house.

The general is summoning you to his place.

As such, we've created such a misunderstanding.

- The general? - Yes.

- General Hao Yue? - Yes.

Forgive me. I made a mistake.

Do not worry, Official Shao.

Let us go. The general has been waiting.

Let's go.

Official Shao, the general has been waiting for you inside. Please.

All right.

Who are you people? Let me go!

Let me go!

Let me go!

- What a coincidence. We meet again. - You?

- You tricked me again. - Don't be so angry yet.

There's more to come.

Be patient. Take him.

- What are you doing? Stop! - Isn't it obvious?

Let me go!

Go.

Princess, why did you let him go?

What kind of horrible place is this?

The bed is so hard. And this canopy just fell!

I'm a Princess!

My first time is supposed to be absolutely perfect, got it?

How is that even supposed to happen anymore now that you've let him go?

I have confidence he'll return voluntarily.

Walk faster, it's almost past noon.

Princess, slow down. I'm sure it's a lie.

How do I look? Is this good?

Forgive me, Your Majesty.

Shao Yong.

I like you!

I like you. I really like you.

Think about it...

- We're going. - What are you doing?

I really really like you! Please consider it!

I... I really like you!

I...

Are you serious?

I cannot let the Ji family line end with you!

You have to learn to be gentle.

All of your actions have to emit a womanly elegance.

If you're lucky, you might even get a kiss.

["The Couple": Short Skit]

Man Man, I'm heading out. Don't wait up for me tonight.

Where are you going?

A date.

A d--

Then what about me?

Don't come back too late!

Open up.

It's not opening.

Open sesame!

Ji Man.

Open the door! Open it! Open!

- Did you miss me? - Why did you drink so much?

What, are you jealous?

No.

Let's go.

Your fault for getting so wasted.

I've noticed lately that you look like that...

Zhang... What's his name again?

Zhang Yi Jie. You look so much like that actor.

Except you're not as hot.

All right, just go to sleep.

Hey.

Next time, can you not be so...

Already?

If you still aren't going to kiss me, I'm really going to sleep.

Wait a second, you weren't--

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