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WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en
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Your call has been forwarded to an automated
voice message system.
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At the tone, please record your message hey
um i just thought that we had plans for tonight
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um so hurry up one second um just call me
back uh please if you want i pee my pants
00:00:52.340 --> 00:01:01.489
ryan could you not wait like five seconds
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you have no shame yeah but clearly you do
you're hiding in here instead of pinning the
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candy nipples on the K-Stew poster
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what's up? nothing
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give me
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okay okay you do know that you deserve way
more than this committed but actually not
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crap right
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is this one that you were gonna bail on our
valentine's day plans [ __ ] what the [ __
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] you practically have to be dragged here
every year yes and every year i grow increasingly
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aware that this holiday is pointless
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expectation is the root of all disappointment
all right tell me you hate love without telling
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me you hate love i don't hate love i hate
love culture it's like totally commercialized
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and way too straight i do not buy it it all
has to come from somewhere though right like
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you don't think love like that exists at all
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maybe in the uh capitalism crazed brains of
the balls mark department can you ever be
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serious you are seriously good at distracting
from the real matters at hand no i'm a mess
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no
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you want to really make them jealous
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oh my god ryan that [ __ ] is going to rue
the day that they didn't make you their valentine
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that is so bad
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it's going to be really cute i promise
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all right your turn then uh-uh-uh-uh i don't
have anyone to make jealous anyway stop stop
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to be fair right that's not due to lack of
opportunities
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give me that give me that this for god
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oh you're escaping to the top of me oh my
gosh that was not as smooth as i was expecting
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is anything ever
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how you feeling i just
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i thought we had such a spark and like it
just means not a feeling
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plus i've grown very wary of the spark that
[ __ ] only burns down everything with it
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yeah i mean maybe the feeling is the anxiety
of projecting so much onto someone who will
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never quite be what you want them to
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fireworks to forest fire real quick
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it's like that stuff like blinds you to everything
else that's happening
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we're so conditioned to chase that feeling
but what if it only causes you to miss like
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what's happening right in front of you
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if the spark is such [ __ ] and what would
that be called
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i don't know
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you don't know you have metaphors for everything
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not everything
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i
don't know what's going on in there but this
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lactose intolerant [ __ ] ate one too many
chocolates and needs to get in there pronto
3924
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