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1
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,600
(THEME MUSIC)
2
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,880
(HAMMERING)
3
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,960
Are you allowed to do that?
4
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
What do you mean?
5
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,920
Put nails in the wall.
6
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,280
We can do what we like, babe. We own it.
7
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,040
Oh, yeah.
8
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,440
I can't quite believe it.
9
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,080
I can't believe we got a hundred
grand off the asking price.
10
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,160
But, then again,
under the circumstances...
11
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,840
Don't, Sam.
12
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,480
I don't wanna think about it.
13
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,600
So does that make us grown-ups now?
14
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,200
We'll be having dinner parties.
15
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,800
Talking about catchment areas next.
16
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,560
- Well, maybe we should.
- What?
17
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,680
Might be nice to invite the neighbours
round. Have a bit of a flat warming.
18
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,120
Nah.
19
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,160
Why not?
20
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,960
I don't want people treating
it like a guided tour.
21
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,960
"Ooh, ooh - let's go and look round
that serial killer's flat."
22
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,720
Bea, it's not a serial killer's flat, OK?
23
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,080
It was one dismembered body...
24
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,360
...that they know of.
25
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,360
What?!
26
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,600
I'm kidding! Look, it was a long time ago.
27
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,080
They replaced all the numbers,
I'm sure no-one really remembers.
28
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,400
I'll remember it.
29
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,360
I'll remember it every time I'm in that
bath where there's been a body chopped up.
30
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,800
Nah, they replaced the bath.
31
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:35,840
The agent said.
32
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,080
Oh, and you now believe what
estate agents say, do you?
33
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,920
I believe we've got
a quarter of a million pound flat
34
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,920
at half the price.
35
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,080
What time are you back?
36
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,120
About half four.
37
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,880
I hate it when you work nights.
38
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,040
Yeah, me too.
39
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,640
That's when mistakes happen.
40
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,800
Like poor Mr Hargreaves last night.
41
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,880
They actually told me
to prick his boil.
42
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,040
Sam...!
43
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,960
Mwah. I'll see you later.
44
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,040
Oh, for God's sake.
45
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,480
Oh...
46
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,000
(SCRAPING)
47
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,320
(RUSTLING)
48
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,520
(WHIRRING)
49
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,560
(BLENDER STOPS)
50
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,880
(DISCORDANT TONE)
51
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,480
(BALL BOUNCES)
52
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,720
- (SCREAMS)
- Beattie, what's wrong?
53
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,920
We need to move.
54
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,320
Yeah...
55
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,880
Yeah, that would be great.
56
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,280
Thank you.
57
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,920
Right, they're gonna try and get
in touch with the previous owner.
58
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,000
See if he can shed any light.
59
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,240
Babe, I'm sure it's just
because you're unsettled.
60
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,360
You know, thinking about the whole
unpleasantness.
61
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,480
You are susceptible...
62
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,960
I know what I saw, Sam!
63
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,920
I didn't put the Hoover on the table
and you certainly didn't
64
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,360
because you've never touched
it in your life!
65
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,360
Right, well, we've done what we can.
66
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,400
OK?
67
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,880
I'm tired. I'm gonna go for a shower.
68
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,480
And, uh, don't worry -
if blood starts coming out of it,
69
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,680
I promise we can move.
70
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,800
OK?
71
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,600
(DOOR BUZZER)
72
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,440
(DOOR BUZZER)
73
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,320
Hello?
74
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,920
Hello.
75
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,640
I'm David Sowerbutts,
and I used to live here.
76
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,480
Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?
77
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,680
No, thank you.
78
00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,920
Do you have a smoothie?
79
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,360
Er... No.
80
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,240
I haven't done a big shop yet.
81
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,400
Not long moved in, as you can see.
82
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,560
My mum used to make me
smoothies with a machine.
83
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:12,920
A blender?
84
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,320
No, her name was Maureen.
85
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,840
She used to live here, too.
86
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,480
These were her eyes.
87
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,200
Sorry?
88
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,200
She used to dress up
and do impressions.
89
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,560
Party nights, that sort of thing.
90
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,400
She used these for Tina Turner.
91
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:31,960
Right.
92
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,520
Well, it's very strange.
93
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,680
They've just appeared in the hallway.
94
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,840
I hate to ask, but...
95
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,080
...did your mother pass
away in this flat?
96
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,240
She did, yes.
97
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,560
But I don't like to remember
her that way.
98
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,280
I remember her being full of life.
99
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,640
(UPBEAT SNAP MUSIC)
100
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,960
- (TRICKLING)
- DAVID: We got on really well.
101
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,720
We were more than flatmates.
102
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,400
BEA: Well, you were mother and son.
103
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,120
JOHN: Oh, yeah, that as well.
104
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,400
Is that all of it?
105
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,400
I think it's dry now.
106
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,880
I know it is.
107
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,640
(PETER BREATHES HEAVILY)
108
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,560
We took an interest in each
other's hobbies.
109
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,680
Mum liked to play the Bontempi.
110
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,200
I liked learning about serial killers.
111
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,720
Did I meow like a cat
when I was arrested?
112
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,760
No.
113
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,000
Right, so I'm not Jeffrey Dahmer.
Your go.
114
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,840
Did I kill a family member?
115
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,520
- Yep.
- Wife?
116
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,560
Yeah, you're warm.
117
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,840
John Reginald Halliday Christie?
118
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,360
No. Dr Crippen. I win.
119
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,320
Crippen's not a serial killer.
120
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,480
He only killed his wife.
121
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,640
It's nothing.
122
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,880
Yeah, don't be a bad loser, David.
You were close.
123
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,000
They've both got bald heads
and round glasses.
124
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,360
Who was I, anyway?
125
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,040
Ed Gein! I should have asked,
126
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,240
"Did I dance around in the moonlight
with a silver vagina on me face?"!
127
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,120
She sounds...
128
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,720
...lovely.
129
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,800
She was.
130
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,160
We were very happy here.
131
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,520
But, then, one day,
I found out she'd caught cancer.
132
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:44,920
Oh...
133
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,000
I'm sorry.
134
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,760
Well, it's not your fault!
135
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,000
She was very brave about it.
136
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,480
There.
137
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,360
Now, I've cut you a little bit behind your
ear, but it'll scab over.
138
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,720
Thanks, Mum.
139
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,960
You're gonna have to learn how to do all
these things for yourself when I'm gone.
140
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,320
- Don't say that.
- Well, you will.
141
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,240
What did your scoutmaster
used to say to you?
142
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,920
Don't tell anyone.
143
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,440
Yeah - not that.
144
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,040
Be prepared.
145
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,600
You need to be equipped with
essential life skills.
146
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,040
I am!
147
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,960
Left, right, stalagmites, stalactites,
148
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,480
cos mites crawl up
and tights hang down.
149
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,760
OK, that's good,
but there are other things.
150
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,800
You've gotta be able to feed yourself.
151
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,000
I'll have a flask of beans.
152
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,480
Oh, you need more than that.
153
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,200
I'll leave you my recipes.
154
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:31,960
You can do carbonara -
155
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,400
which is spaghetti hoops in salad cream
with a bag of Frazzles mixed in.
156
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,520
And, for pudding, you can have me
New York cheesecake -
157
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,360
Dairylea triangle on a digestive.
158
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,480
I don't want you to go.
159
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,320
I know you don't, David.
160
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,120
And I don't want to go.
161
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,560
Let's hope it's a long way off, eh?
162
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,640
But it wasn't.
163
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,240
I wish I could kill Death.
164
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,600
Then he wouldn't be able to kill you.
165
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,360
You can't have a world without Death,
David.
166
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,040
He finds you in the end.
167
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,920
"One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
and death shall be no more.
168
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,640
"Death, thou shalt die."
169
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,440
Did you just make that up?
170
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,040
No, John Donne.
171
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,840
It's "John did", David.
172
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,200
It's "John did".
173
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:57,800
Without Mum,
things were harder than I thought.
174
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,360
She was right.
175
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,400
Argh!
176
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:08,200
I wasn't equipped with many life skills.
177
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,480
(WATER PATTERS)
178
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,840
But luckily I had a friend who
came to look after me.
179
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,440
Hello, David. I brought you a smoothie.
180
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,160
- Mango?
- Yeah.
181
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,200
Thank you.
182
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,160
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
183
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:35,320
I met Emily at my job doing
murder mystery evenings.
184
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,360
We bonded over our shared
passion for Jack the Ripper.
185
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,720
Nichols, Tabram, Chapman...
186
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,840
No, no, no.
187
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,800
Martha Tabram was not considered
one of the canonical five!
188
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,560
Oh, yeah. So, Nichols, Chapman,
189
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,960
erm...
190
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,800
NCSEK! Nichols, Chapman, Stride,
Eddowes, Kelly! NCSEK!
191
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,080
That's it.
192
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,920
You are so clever, David.
193
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,840
Thank you.
194
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:06,600
I know - let's both say our favourite
victim after three.
195
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:11,520
One...two...three...
196
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,680
BOTH: Mary Kelly!
197
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,640
I need a wee.
198
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,400
Would you like to come with me?
199
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,000
Yes, please.
200
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:30,040
She encouraged me to make a fresh start
and move on with my life.
201
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,880
I came to realise that, with Emily, I was
filling a hole where Mum had been.
202
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,320
Excuse me,
do you have any Wagon Wheels?
203
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,240
Er... Er, no. Sorry.
204
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,760
Well, it doesn't matter. I just like them.
205
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,920
So did Emily move in here, then?
206
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,240
Yes.
207
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,080
For a while, everything was fine,
and then...
208
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,240
...it all started to go wrong.
209
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,360
David?
210
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,760
Just going to the shops.
211
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,640
Haven't seen my keys, have you? Agh!
212
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,800
What's going on?
Why have you got my mum's brooch?
213
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,040
It was in my bag.
214
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,320
If you wanna keep any of her things,
I don't mind.
215
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,040
Not bothered.
216
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,720
Well, I noticed you brought that back.
217
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,680
I didn't.
218
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,640
It's OK, David.
219
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,320
I understand.
220
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,680
Your mother was a big part of your life.
221
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,080
I can see why you wouldn't
wanna let her go.
222
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,360
See you tonight.
223
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,240
(BONTEMPI PLAYS)
224
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,200
What are you doing getting
rid of all my things?
225
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,720
Mum?!
226
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,160
You know that blue cardie you got me
for Mother's Day?
227
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,800
It's currently in Wood Green Dogs Trust
with a sticker on it for 30 pence.
228
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,880
How do you think that makes me feel?
229
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,440
I'm sorry.
230
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,240
Emily said I should try to move on.
231
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,160
Never mind what Emily said.
232
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,480
I've seen what you get up to in here.
I'm disgusted with you.
233
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,440
What do you mean, you've seen us?
234
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,400
Do you hide in a cupboard?
235
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,200
I don't need to hide, do I?
I'm beyond the veil! I can do this...
236
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,800
Oh... You've got superpowers!
237
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,960
Could you go
and watch the Queen doing a poo?
238
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,440
Yeah, I have done.
239
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,680
She takes ages.
240
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:47,000
What's it like? The afterlife?
241
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,400
Well, there's different areas.
242
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,600
It's like a cruise ship.
243
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,200
I haven't got access to what you'd
call "the upper deck"
244
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,720
but I'm telling you, David,
it's much more fun down below.
245
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,400
What do you mean?
246
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,080
I've met 'em all -
Bundy, Chikatilo, Nilsen...
247
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,320
Jeffrey did his cat noises for me
last night.
248
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:05,480
He's a scream.
249
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,000
Oh, I knew he would be!
250
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,760
I can't wait to tell Emily.
251
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,640
You'll tell her nothing!
252
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,040
She's a whore!
253
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,080
She is my girlfriend
254
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,320
and I love her very much.
255
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,400
Oh.
256
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,600
And do you trust her?
257
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,720
Yes.
258
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,400
Why?
259
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:30,040
Cos I'm in this flat all day, David,
and I see things.
260
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,440
You might wanna come home early
one day - say, Wednesday, two o'clock.
261
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,000
And while you're on it,
262
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,360
why don't you ask her why
she's got two mobile phones?
263
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,880
What?
264
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,520
(PHONE RINGS)
265
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,200
Hello?
266
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,760
MAN: Oh, hey, is Emily there?
267
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,280
No, sorry.
268
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,200
Would you like to leave a mess...?
269
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,480
(HANGS UP)
270
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,040
BEA: That must have been very scary.
271
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,040
It was.
272
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:10,000
But not as scary as what I saw
on Wednesday at two o'clock.
273
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,800
EMILY: If you want to lie back.
That's it.
274
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,560
Go on, have a little suck on that.
275
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:27,520
Ooh, you are a big boy, aren't you?
276
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,120
That's it. How does that feel?
277
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,680
Nice and tight.
278
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,880
Emily?!
279
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,040
David. Why are you back so early?
280
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,640
What's going on?
Who are all these people?
281
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,760
- (ADULT BABIES WHIMPER)
- Shh! It's OK.
282
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:47,920
It's only David.
283
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,240
Me not like David!
284
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,880
Want him to go!
285
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,920
Robin?! What are you doing here?
286
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,800
Me not Robin! Me Sally-Ann!
287
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,640
Sally-Ann fwightened!
Sally-Ann go poo-poo!
288
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,000
No Sally-Ann, no poo-poos.
289
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,880
We've just changed your nappy.
290
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,080
You...you play with this.
291
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,680
Just gonna talk to David.
292
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,800
David, I know what this looks like.
293
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,960
It looks like you're having a
sex game with our ex-boss!
294
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,880
No, it's not a sex game.
295
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,840
They pay me to treat them like this.
296
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,480
Why?
297
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,160
Well, I don't know.
298
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,840
But...
299
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,680
They just like being babified.
300
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,960
For me, it's the joy of going
back to a simpler time.
301
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,920
A time when one had no responsibility.
302
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:40,120
And a few hours of being released from the
stresses and strains of adulthood -
303
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,040
it does me the power of good.
304
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,000
It really is quite harmless, David.
305
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,320
Well, I think it's disgusting!
306
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,720
I want you all to get out!
307
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,400
Out, now!
And you can take that with you!
308
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,520
David, don't throw the babies out
with the bathwater, please!
309
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,760
Mum was right.
310
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,560
She told me
you weren't to be trusted.
311
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,360
You are a whore!
312
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,560
I was sorry to hear about your mother,
David.
313
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,680
I only met her a couple of times,
314
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,320
but she struck me
as being a most formidable woman.
315
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,080
Wherever she is,
I know she'd be very proud of you.
316
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,960
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm...
317
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,880
I am proud, David.
318
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,640
Very proud.
319
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,640
After I calmed down, I realised
I'd made a terrible mistake.
320
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,880
I'd forgotten to record
Fred Dinenage's Murder Casebook.
321
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,160
As well as that, I'd upsetted Emily
and that made me sad.
322
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,640
Please don't go!
323
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,120
It's no good, David,
you can't talk to me like that.
324
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,800
I know. It...
325
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,520
It wasn't me!
326
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,760
Who was it, then?
327
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,080
Did a dog make you do it,
like David Berkowitz?
328
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,000
No, it was...
329
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,120
It was a mistake.
330
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,000
I'm sorry!
331
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,920
I only didn't mention the job
because I was embarrassed.
332
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,280
Well, you don't have to be embarrassed!
333
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,720
I like babies.
334
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,080
So do I.
335
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,160
I'd like to have a baby.
336
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,680
Shall we make one?
337
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,760
Yeah, all right.
338
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,840
But normal sized, though,
and not with a beard.
339
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,480
All right.
340
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,360
I'll stay and have a baby with you.
341
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,600
But on one condition.
342
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,640
You've got to get rid of your mother.
343
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,480
What?!
344
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,720
Oh, yeah, sorry.
345
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,160
I forgot to say.
346
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,880
When my mum died,
I kept her body on ice in the bathtub.
347
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,760
I thought I could bring
her back to life,
348
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,800
but they haven't invented it yet.
349
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,400
The ice melted, and...she went a bit off.
350
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,520
Oh, God.
351
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,200
The next morning
we gave Mum a proper send-off.
352
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:32,240
We took her to the recycling centre
behind Shopping City in Wood Green.
353
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,720
We split her between garden waste,
general rubbish and metal,
354
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,240
on account of a, erm...
355
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,200
Then Emily and I set about making
a baby together.
356
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,120
It was nice.
357
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,840
And a few months later,
Baby John was born.
358
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,880
I loved him.
359
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:03,480
I wanted to be a better father
to him than my father was to me.
360
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:09,120
September 30th 1888 saw
one of Jack's most audacious acts,
361
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,560
known as The Devil Event.
362
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,720
On this soggy, miserable night,
363
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,880
he managed to slaughter two victims...
364
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,880
We even threw him
a party to celebrate his birth.
365
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,280
Right, I'm gonna introduce you
now to Mr Bunny!
366
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,880
Do you like, erm, rabbits, little, er...
367
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,280
What's his name?
368
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,520
John.
369
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,520
John? That's imaginative.
370
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,800
You like rabbits, John?
371
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,280
This is really hard for me, you know,
with him being a baby.
372
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,560
Normally, they can reply
and get a bit of banter going.
373
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,560
Anyway, your money.
374
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,720
Er, let's get this rabbit out,
then, shall we?
375
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,600
Come on, that's it, Mr Bunny,
don't be shy.
376
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,320
Oh, fuckin' hell. Stabbed it.
377
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,480
Yep, right in the eye.
378
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,640
Another one gone.
379
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,960
Er, I'm gonna need a brick for that.
Finish it off later.
380
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,040
Anyway, do you like balloon animals?
What's his favourite animal?
381
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,200
- Monkey.
- No, fuck that.
382
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,560
He can have sausage dog,
snake or giraffe.
383
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,040
Snake, please, Mr Jolly.
384
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,080
Jelly!
385
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,160
- (BABY CRIES)
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
386
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,240
Turns out we'd booked the wrong one.
387
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:11,280
Anyway, Emily got a new job
working at an all-night chemist's.
388
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,840
Like Sam.
389
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,840
He works night shifts.
He should be back soon, actually.
390
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,040
Oh, I didn't mind.
391
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,760
It meant that
I had more time with Baby John.
392
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,600
We were so happy together.
393
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,000
Then she came back.
394
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,360
You're gonna need more salt
than that, David.
395
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,640
Mum? What are you doing back? I thought...
396
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,640
Thought you got rid of me?
No, David. I'm your mother.
397
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,920
Mothers don't leave their sons.
398
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,120
And speaking of which...who's this?
399
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,600
Baby John.
400
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,280
Baby John!
401
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,960
He reminds me of you, David.
402
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,600
Big fat simple face and a stinky bum.
403
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,760
But...we recycled you.
404
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:07,960
We laid you to rest.
405
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,680
Not quite.
406
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,800
You couldn't stop yourself, could you?
You did an Edmund Kemper.
407
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,360
Kept your mother's head...
408
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,920
...and bricked it up in the wall.
409
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,640
It was true.
410
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,800
I wanted her close by,
so she could keep an eye on me.
411
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,400
It was a mistake.
412
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,920
Hey, you'll never guess who
I met last night, David.
413
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,000
Jack.
414
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,120
The Ripper?
415
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,200
He don't like being called that,
but, yeah.
416
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,760
And he's really nice.
417
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,040
You know who he is?
418
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,440
Yeah.
419
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,840
I can't tell you, cos there are
certain protocols -
420
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,240
but, ha, you won't believe it.
421
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,760
Is it Tumblety?
422
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,280
Not saying.
423
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,920
- It's not Clarence?!
- I'm not telling you, David!
424
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,680
But there is a way to find out.
425
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,720
What?
426
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,640
Kill yourself.
427
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,880
Cut your wrists now,
428
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,280
and, in ten minutes, I'll have you
chatting away with Jack the Ripper,
429
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,000
identity known.
430
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,280
I can't!
431
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,200
Why not?!
432
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,760
I've got to look after Baby John.
433
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,200
Well, that's easily remedied.
434
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,760
Just kill the baby, David.
435
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:25,800
No.
436
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,280
You'll do as you're told. Kill that baby!
437
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,480
- I don't want to.
- David, pick up that baby!
438
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,400
Now bring it over to the stove
and we're gonna get it boiled.
439
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,400
(BABY CRIES)
440
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,720
I want Emily!
441
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,880
She's not here. I am.
442
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,960
Now drop it in.
443
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,520
Sorry.
444
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,280
David! David...
445
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,080
What are you doing?
446
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,600
Give him to me!
447
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,320
It was Mum! She's come back...
448
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,440
She made me do it!
449
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,680
Your mother is dead, David!
450
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,520
Dead! Dead! Dead!
451
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,360
Emily called the police
and told them everything.
452
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,200
About Mum, the bath, the baby.
453
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,280
Nobody would believe me.
454
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,200
I got taken away...
and I haven't seen them since.
455
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,040
But her head's still here, isn't it?
456
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,360
That's why she's not at rest.
457
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,640
I came as soon as I heard.
458
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,680
I think you could be in danger.
459
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,120
MAUREEN: I think you two
have chatted long enough.
460
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,440
It's time to do a bad murder.
461
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:07,960
No, Mum.
462
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,520
I won't do it.
463
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,000
You can't make me.
464
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,080
I wasn't talking to you.
465
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,400
(SQUELCH)
466
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,800
That's it, David.
467
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,680
It's all right.
468
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,880
We'll be together now.
469
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,320
Forever and ever...
470
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,400
...and ever...
471
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,080
Babe, are you up? How did you
get on with Mr Sowerbutts?
472
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,440
Bea?
473
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,680
So, remember, I'm gonna be back
a bit late tonight,
474
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,240
but I'll leave the radio on for you.
475
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,120
Keep you company.
476
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,720
See you later!
477
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,480
(UPBEAT '80s POP)
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