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1
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,036
Popcorn!
2
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,031
Pancake flour.
3
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,989
- Didn't do much good winnin' the new house, Ma.
- How's that?
4
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,629
Three bathrooms
and I still can't get in.
5
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,553
You got to expect that
when you got 15 kids.
6
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,791
We should have had less kids
and more bathrooms.
7
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,553
Wash up after you finish
milkin' the cow.
8
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,756
All right, Ma.
9
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,950
Hi, Bossie.
10
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,789
Wrong station.
11
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,277
It's 6:15, and KMAF,
the farmer's station...
12
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,555
presents
"Music to Milk By. "
13
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,269
Science has proved that the
relaxed cow gives more milk.
14
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,955
Here's a musical medley to give
your cow that contented feeling.
15
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,671
Here's a letter
for you...
16
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,035
from the
Bubble-Ola Company.
17
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,192
Must be about my winning
that free trip to New York.
18
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,111
Go ahead and open it.
19
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760
All right, if you're
sure you don't mind.
20
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,310
"Dear Mr Kettle:
Confirming our telegram of the 16th...
21
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,995
"enclosed are your railroad
tickets to New York.
22
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,756
"A reservation has been made for you
at the Waldorf-Astoria.
23
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,070
"Congratulations again...
24
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,836
"on winning the big
Bubble-Ola letter contest.
25
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,833
"Your entry on
Why I Like Bubble-Ola...
26
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:15,630
"was a sincere and magnificent tribute
to our product.
27
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:20,589
"I'm looking forward to meeting
you and your charming wife personally.
28
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,878
"Very truly yours,
J.J. Schumacher...
29
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,428
"Vice Pres.
30
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,116
"P.S. On rereading
your flattering letter...
31
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:37,035
"the stockholders voted to send you
an additional prize:
32
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,829
"A ten-year supply
of Bubble-Ola...
33
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,071
for each and every member
of your family. "
34
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,071
A ten-year supply!
35
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,869
I don't know what we're gonna do
with the stuff. 'Tain't fit for drinkin'.
36
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,628
- Wonder what it is good for.
- Don't rightly know.
37
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,518
Was gonna write and
tell 'em how bad it was...
38
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,989
but I found out they don't
give prizes for that.
39
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,314
Too bad we can't
take that trip.
40
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,595
How's that?
Can't go?
41
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,513
Ain't nobody'll stay
with the kids.
42
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,639
I tried to tell 'em they ain't really wild...
just growin'.
43
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,952
Now, Ma, ain't no need
to apologize for our kids.
44
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,157
All 15 are chips
off the old block.
45
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,471
Any more chips, there won't
be any more old block.
46
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:32,235
Sure would have had
a whoop-de-doo in New York.
47
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,118
Could've seen
Tom and Kim too.
48
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,031
What's it say, Ma?
49
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,588
Beginning tonight, they're gonna
stop ringin' the 9:00 curfew bell.
50
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,511
'Bout time!
51
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,388
I always said it was
wakin' up too many people.
52
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:50,110
Hmm. They haven't caught that
bank robber, Shotgun Munger...
53
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,192
- who stole $ 100,000.
- You don't say?
54
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,236
They think he's
headin' out this way.
55
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,788
Got all the
roads blocked.
56
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,636
Oughta put up
a towel rack, Ma.
57
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,870
Ain't nobody stoppin' ya.
58
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,475
Well...
maybe after breakfast.
59
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,996
I'll have to go up to the old house
and get some tools.
60
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,073
Sure would like to have seen New York.
Sit down, Pa.
61
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,549
Breakfast!
62
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,951
Much obliged.
63
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,031
Hold it!
64
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:46,031
P.S. If you can see your way clear
for Ma and me to take the trip...
65
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,680
much obliged again.
66
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,473
There you are.
67
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,154
All right.
I'll go get the milk.
68
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,873
Pa, why are you puttin'
ketchup on your cakes?
69
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,235
It comes out easier.
70
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,354
Anybody home?
Anybody home?
71
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,996
Hey!
72
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,075
Shoo.
Shoo!
73
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,230
Ahh.
74
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,191
Ahh.
75
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,515
Howdy.
76
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,511
Who are you?
77
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,068
Pa Kettle.
78
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,469
What's your game?
79
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:47,109
I don't mind checkers now
and then if the stakes ain't too high.
80
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,156
Cut it!
What do you want?
81
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,629
Excuse me for
disturbing you...
82
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,156
- but I own this house and...
- Oh.
83
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,312
I was taking a nap. I've been driving
all night and I've got a flat.
84
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:02,029
I figured you saw the sign
and wanted to rent the place.
85
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,157
- Rent this?
- Let me show you around.
86
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,629
It's very livable.
87
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,792
Yeah, if you happen
to be a cockroach.
88
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,236
You can see for yourself
it's airy...
89
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:18,199
roomy,
mighty comfortable.
90
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,033
Make yourself to home.
91
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,714
You must be hungry,
Mr...
92
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,631
Uh, Jones.
93
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,076
What brings you
up our way, Mr Jones?
94
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,277
Well, you see,
I'm a, uh...
95
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,239
I'm a... a poet.
96
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,312
- I came up here to get away from it all.
- A poet?
97
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,630
I thought you might be
a travelling salesman.
98
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,188
Lot of them visit farms,
you know.
99
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,236
I heard stories
about that.
100
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,153
What kind of poetry
you write?
101
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,869
- Well, the regular kind.
- Oh.
102
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,873
- Like what?
- "Jack and Jill went up a hill... "
103
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,191
That's a mighty well-known poem.
You write that?
104
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,477
To be honest, on that poem
I had to cut another guy in.
105
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,552
Oh. Well, there ain't
nothing to eat here.
106
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,030
Come down to the new place
and Ma'll fix something for ya.
107
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,997
No, no time.
I'm headin' up north...
108
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,196
someplace where
I can hide out.
109
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,589
And write.
110
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,636
I need peace and quiet.
111
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,909
Plenty of peace and quiet
around here.
112
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,992
- Where you from?
- New York.
113
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,038
I won a free trip to
New York, but I can't go.
114
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,079
- You see, I...
- I got a tyre that needs changin'.
115
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,709
Lemme give you a hand.
116
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,960
I got a son in New York,
Tom Kettle.
117
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,235
Maybe you
heard of him?
118
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:52,199
- There's eight million people in New York, Pop.
- It's Pa.
119
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,590
- Sure would like to go to New York.
- I ain't stoppin' ya.
120
00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:00,231
- Can't. Got nobody to watch the kids.
- That's too bad.
121
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,712
- What's the name of this town, Pop?
- It's Pa.
122
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,633
This here's
Cape Flattery.
123
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,790
- How far are you from a city?
- Seattle?
124
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,110
That's a
hundred miles away.
125
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,077
Not bad.
126
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:19,280
I was thinkin' of writin' a poem about
a small town. This may be the place.
127
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,591
Tell me about the...
the birds...
128
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,195
the trees, the grass,
the police department.
129
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,397
- Got much of a police department?
- Just a sheriff.
130
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,995
Course he only works
part time.
131
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,993
- I think I know how you can go to New York, Pop.
- It's Pa.
132
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,311
I'll stay at your house,
write me poetry and watch the kids.
133
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,119
- You can go to New York with Mom.
- It's Ma.
134
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:48,069
- Oh, the kids'll bother you.
- Nah, I love kids.
135
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,993
As far as I'm concerned,
this is a perfect set-up...
136
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,435
Pa.
137
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,355
Thanks, son.
138
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,031
I don't like it.
139
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,396
How can we leave our kids
in the hands of a stranger?
140
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,198
How can we leave a stranger
in the hands of our kids?
141
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:18,478
- It's him or nobody, Ma.
- We don't know a thing about this Mr Jones.
142
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,473
Well, I'm a pretty good
judge of character...
143
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,439
and that boy has an honest face
if ever I saw one.
144
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,829
Take another look.
145
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,230
All he needs
is a shave.
146
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,197
Take a lawn mower
to shave him.
147
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,875
- What's his business?
- He's a poet.
148
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,793
A poet!
149
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,111
An honest to goodness poet
stayin' at my house!
150
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,156
Why didn't you say so?
151
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,593
I'm Ma, Mr Jones.
152
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,597
A pleasure, madam. You're even prettier
than your picture.
153
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,719
That's Kim,
my daughter-in-law.
154
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,553
You could fool me
anytime!
155
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,710
Pa says you're a poet.
156
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,997
Why, I, uh...
I dabble at it.
157
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:17,551
I don't know much about poetry,
but I used to recite a poem for the kids.
158
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,757
- I don't know whether I remember it or not.
- Well, go on, try.
159
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:25,356
- "Tom, Tom, the piper's son stole a pig... "
- A heist job.
160
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,069
"Tom, Tom, the piper's son
stole a pig and away he run. "
161
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:33,233
- Took it on the lam?
- No, Mary had the lamb. This was a pig.
162
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,869
"The pig was eat and Tom was beat.
And Tom went... "
163
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,713
- Now, where did he go?
- Up the river?
164
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,189
No, it wasn't up
any river.
165
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,589
Maybe he went
to the rock.
166
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,875
No, it wasn't any rock.
Oh, I know.
167
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,791
"The pig was eat
and Tom was beat.
168
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,678
And Tom went marching
down the street. "
169
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,354
- Gee, I like that.
- I'm glad you do.
170
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:59,389
It's got a moral:
"Crime don't pay. "
171
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,630
Now, get this, Louie. They're
leaving for New York tomorrow.
172
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,473
I'm givin' them the bag
with the hundred Gs in it.
173
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,154
Don't worry, they're square.
174
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,629
Hold on, Louie.
175
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,312
- I have your monthly quota of Bubble-Ola.
- Bring it in.
176
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,995
- Where'll I put it?
- Right here. Anywhere's all right.
177
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,548
They check into
the Waldorf on Saturday.
178
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,871
With their kissers, nobody'll suspect
they're carrying the stuff.
179
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,430
Shotgun, ain't this risky?
They may be smarter than they look.
180
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,397
They'd have to be.
181
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,359
I'm sending a snapshot
so you'll recognize them.
182
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,271
We gotta take this chance.
183
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,828
New York is the only place
we can shove the hot money.
184
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,070
Suppose Kettle opens the bag.
Then what?
185
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,799
He won't. I'm a good
judge of character...
186
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,111
and this ol' boy has an honest face
if I've ever seen one.
187
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,555
Call me the minute
you get the bag. Ow!
188
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,232
What happened?
189
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,313
What a collection
of brats!
190
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,951
These people are raising
their own reform school. Now, Louie...
191
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,759
You...
192
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,191
Howdy!
193
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,317
Run along and play,
little one.
194
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,879
I'd sooner drink D.D.T.
195
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,637
So, goodbye,
dear brother Louie.
196
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:38,679
And don't forget to take me
poetry books back to the library.
197
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,830
Huh?
198
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,639
Well, they're overdue
and it ain't nice...
199
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,551
to keep things that
don't belong to us.
200
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,915
Hey, Shotgun,
you all right?
201
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,432
Benjamin's underweight.
No, George is underweight.
202
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,909
No, it's Sarah. Which one of you kids
is underweight?
203
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,434
- Me, Ma!
- Oh, Billy. Of course!
204
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,351
Be sure he gets
plenty to eat.
205
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,396
And keep Rosie and Ted
from fightin'.
206
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,439
Make sure the kids have a big breakfast
before they go off to school.
207
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,637
Pa, I don't think
we oughta go.
208
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,473
- It's gonna be too much for Mr Jones.
- You gotta go.
209
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,233
- It's the first vacation you've ever had.
- Don't worry.
210
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,278
Leave everything to me.
I won't take me eyes off'em for a minute.
211
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,669
Ow!
212
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,751
Ah, Willie!
He's a rascal.
213
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,195
- You gotta watch him.
- I sure will.
214
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,555
Come on, folks.
Time to get aboard.
215
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,234
Come on, Pa.
216
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,592
Pa! Hey, Pa!
217
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,636
Howdy, Geoduck.
218
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,314
- Howdy, Crowbar.
- Mmm.
219
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,994
- Goodbye gift.
- It's a dandy.
220
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,957
Look inside.
221
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,031
Well, that's
mighty nice of you.
222
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,759
- What's it for?
- Pa take to New York.
223
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,957
Buy back Manhattan Island...
for us.
224
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,792
I see.
225
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,316
All aboard!
226
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,837
Uh, Ma, Pa. I promised to send this
empty bag to me brother.
227
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,990
- Do you mind?
- Be glad to oblige.
228
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,753
- Where'll we find him?
- He'll pick it up at the hotel.
229
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,711
All aboard!
230
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,314
- Bye.
- Bye.
231
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,399
- All aboard!
- Come on, Pa! You kids bring the bags.
232
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,911
Don't hold much
with trains underground.
233
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,719
Feel like a gopher
when you come out.
234
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,791
How 'bout a redcap,
mister?
235
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,633
No, thanks.
I'm a derby man myself.
236
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,518
Had this one
15 years.
237
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,111
Ma and Pa!
238
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,668
Oh, there's Kim!
239
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,796
Ma and Pa,
how are you?
240
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,394
- How are ya?
- You both look wonderful!
241
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,358
- Where's Tom?
- He's trying to raise money for his incubator.
242
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,752
- He'll meet us back at the hotel.
- Nice-lookin' city.
243
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,719
Pa, this is the station.
Wait till you get outside.
244
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,268
- Let me help you with your bags.
- All right.
245
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,359
Taxi!
246
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:35,715
- Taxi!
- Taxi!
247
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,197
- Taxi!
- Taxi!
248
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:51,553
- Taxi!
- Taxi!
249
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,917
Hello, Mr Masterson.
Glad to see you back.
250
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,719
Roberts, I'm staying at the club tonight.
Take the luggage.
251
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,395
Yes, sir.
I'll tell Mrs Masterson.
252
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,433
C'mon, Kim.
C'mon, Pa.
253
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,359
You can see better
up here, Ma.
254
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,751
Howdy.
255
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,949
Never mind, Pa.
The bellhops'll take care of that.
256
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,475
I could've sworn
I brought it.
257
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,677
- I'll look in the lobby, sir. Was it tagged?
- It had Pa's name on it...
258
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,591
in care of the
Waldorf-Astoria.
259
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,673
- I'll check with Grand Central Station.
- That's mighty nice.
260
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,990
Oh, boy.
261
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,957
Thank you.
262
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,072
What'd you do that for?
You owe the boy money?
263
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,991
That's a tip.
264
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,230
In New York, when people do things
for you, you give them money.
265
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,436
Don't seem right.
266
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,274
Ma's always doing things for me,
and I ain't had to give her a cent.
267
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,952
Don't stand there, Pa.
Go ahead and answer the door.
268
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,711
I'm a friend of Louie's.
269
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,360
He sent me for the bag
his brother give ya.
270
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,749
- I don't have it.
- What?
271
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,991
Well, I, I... They, uh...
What'd you say, Ma?
272
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,799
Our things haven't come
from the station yet.
273
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,838
Yeah?
274
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,957
Well, I'll keep
in touch with you.
275
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,636
I didn't have the heart
to tell the boy we lost it.
276
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,030
Don't feel good about losin'
somebody else's property.
277
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,317
- Was there anything valuable in it?
- He said it was empty.
278
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,755
If it don't show up,
we'll buy him another one.
279
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,310
Ma, that idea
is a lulu!
280
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,994
Shouldn't be
too hard to match.
281
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,392
Town as big as this
must have a general store.
282
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:45,358
Looks just like the
postcard Tom sent us.
283
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,396
Hello, Louie?
Little Joe.
284
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,789
Kettle got here,
but the black bag didn't.
285
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,836
- What?
- Just like I said.
286
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,550
They tell me the bag ain't come from the
station, but their room is full of luggage.
287
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,359
I warned Munger about this!
288
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,149
Kettle's trying to cut himself in.
He's got to have that bag someplace.
289
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:07,392
Don't let him out of your sight. He's got
the bag somewhere, and we're gonna get it!
290
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,037
- Hello.
- How do you do?
291
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,032
Don't tell me.
You're Ma and Pa Kettle.
292
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:17,317
Guess who I am. J.J. Schumacher of
the Bubble-Ola Company.
293
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,871
How do you like New York? Great city!
No place on earth like it.
294
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,428
How'd you like your trip?
I knew you'd like it.
295
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,478
How do you like
these accommodations?
296
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,155
You can say that again! There isn't
a finer suite in the Waldorf-Astoria.
297
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,198
Is this all Bubble-Ola is gonna do for you?
No siree.
298
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,670
Have we got a programme
planned for you! And how!
299
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,149
You're going to the Rendezvous Room
of the Plaza for dinner...
300
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,515
and back here to the
Starlight Room for dancing.
301
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,398
- You'll shop in the best stores
on Fifth Avenue...
302
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,756
Excuse me.
303
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,469
Come in. Put it
right down there.
304
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,790
- And pour it.
- Thank you, sir.
305
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,713
You'll see the best shows on Broadway,
the ball game, Coney Island.
306
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,519
Are you gonna have fun?
You bet you are.
307
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,388
Now, here's your schedule
and your tickets.
308
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:09,679
How much is this gonna cost?
Nothing. It's all on Bubble-Ola.
309
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,399
Know what this is?
Bubble-Ola.
310
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,552
Took the liberty
of ordering a toast.
311
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,471
There you are.
312
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,996
To the Kettles!
Long may they wave!
313
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,636
Ahh! You have no idea what
this does for your stomach.
314
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,075
What time is it?
315
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,469
Oh, gotta run!
Busy man.
316
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,475
I'll see you later. Want to hear more
about your trip.
317
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,753
- Hey, do the Kettles live here?
- Oh, Tom!
318
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,671
- Howdy, son.
- Hiya, Pa.
319
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,557
- Hello.
- Hello.
320
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,632
- Oh, hello, Ma!
- Bless your heart.
321
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,518
Let me look at you.
You haven't changed a bit.
322
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,955
- You think so?
- Well, I'd know you anywhere.
323
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,190
Oh, Tom!
324
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,271
Hello, Pa.
325
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,476
It sure is good
to see you two.
326
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,074
Sure do things funny here.
327
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,038
Back home you couldn't keep
a young married couple from kissin'!
328
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,591
Well.
329
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,398
Hmph!
330
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,358
I guess I have
incubators on my mind.
331
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,750
- Got a problem?
- About $ 10,000 worth.
332
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,594
- I can't go into production until I get it.
- If you weren't so stubborn...
333
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,478
- Look, Ma, all he has to do is...
- All I have to do...
334
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:32,076
is find the bank that
will lend me the money.
335
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,391
Sit down, Ma. I got a million
questions to ask you.
336
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:39,109
- Numbers one to fourteen, how are the kids?
- Oh, just fine.
337
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,317
Hope they're not gettin' in
that nice Mr Jones's hair.
338
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,839
Mr Jones, did Benjamin
throw his oatmeal at you?
339
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:54,357
No. I got a poor memory.
I forgot where my mouth was.
340
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,513
- Why did you throw your oatmeal at Mr Jones?
- I don't want any more.
341
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,751
I don't blame him! Since Ma left,
all we eat is oatmeal.
342
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,513
Yeah. I've eaten
so much of this stuff...
343
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,990
every time I sit down
I squish.
344
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,799
Mr Jones, maybe we'd better
get one of Ma's friends...
345
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,952
- to come in and help.
- No, no, no! I, coul... Uh...
346
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,793
I couldn't write me poetry
with too many people around.
347
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,714
I don't need help.
Benjie's a good boy.
348
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,156
This time we're gonna eat our cereal.
Ain't we, Benjie?
349
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,631
- Nope! I wanna play leapfrog.
- Not now!
350
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,918
Come on, Benjamin.
It'll put muscles on ya.
351
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,911
Open your mouth.
352
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,995
It'll grow hair on your chest.
Open your mouth, Benjamin.
353
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,716
Open your mouth.
354
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,756
Open your... Oh!
355
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,671
Somebody get me
a towel!
356
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,554
Hurry! A napkin!
357
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,192
Ow!
358
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,037
Stop it!
359
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,113
Don't nobody move.
360
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,919
I'll be right back.
361
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,879
Take it easy. I'm comin'!
362
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,675
Here's the rest of your monthly
allotment of Bubble-Ola.
363
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,070
- More?
- Every month for the next ten years.
364
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,437
- Say, that's a sweet set-up you got here.
- What was that?
365
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,796
Look at all those buttons:
Radio, television, windows.
366
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,871
Everything's automatic.
367
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,554
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
368
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,156
I told you
to stay in there.
369
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,435
- We want to play leapfrog.
- No, you're too wild.
370
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,115
- Can we play the radio?
- Yeah, anything to keep you quiet.
371
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,836
Good morning.
And now for the 9:00 news.
372
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,992
State police are still baffled by the
disappearance of notorious bank robber...
373
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,389
Shotgun Munger, who is
believed to be hiding out...
374
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,233
in Oregon
or Washington.
375
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,278
Munger is 5'10"tall,
has brown hair...
376
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,673
You don't want radio,
not when you got television.
377
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,353
The next criminal on KTJT's
"Cash For Clues" programme is...
378
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,237
Shotgun Munger.
379
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,919
- We want the television.
- Come on! Let's play leapfrog.
380
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,030
Okay, now
it's your turn.
381
00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:01,273
Shotgun Munger...
382
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,834
See the sign. It's only a buck for the trip.
383
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,878
Step right in. Just
got room for two more.
384
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,396
- See New York for a buck.
- My feet are killin' me.
385
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,233
Everywhere you look
there's more tall buildings.
386
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,595
Look at that one
over there.
387
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,668
See New York!
388
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,911
Hurry, hurry! See the Bowery.
See Chinatown...
389
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,639
and also other places
of interest.
390
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,872
Step right up. Only two seats left.
See New York for a buck.
391
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,315
It'd save a heap
of walkin', Ma.
392
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,231
It'd save my feet.
393
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,233
Why walk when you can see
New York from a comfortable seat?
394
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,198
Attaboy, Pop.
Okay!
395
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,555
- I gotta get on that bus!
- Sorry, full up.
396
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,235
- But I gotta see New York.
- It'll still be here.
397
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,116
- Follow that bus.
- It's a sightseeing bus.
398
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,555
- Follow it!
- Okay! It's your dough.
399
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,353
Folks, we're now on New York's
famous Fifth Avenue.
400
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,557
On your left, you are passing
the New York Public Library...
401
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,471
the world's largest.
402
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,518
Look at
the lions, Junior.
403
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,350
We'd like to see
the library too.
404
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,592
You're now coming to the
famous St. Patrick's Cathedral.
405
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:49,196
There it is on your right.
406
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,709
Pardon. Like to see
the Cathedral.
407
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,749
C'mon, Pa.
Let's get outta here.
408
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,354
But lady, I thought you
wanted to see New York.
409
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,908
We do! That's why
we're gettin' off.
410
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,152
This looks like
Mr Jones's bag.
411
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,629
- I don't reckon you can tell the difference.
- No.
412
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,597
- Can I help you?
- How much do you want?
413
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,717
- Eight dollars.
- You better keep your eye on this one.
414
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:34,715
You bet. Eight dollars is a lot
of money to put in a bag.
415
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,631
- Ten dollars.
- Thank you.
416
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,790
- Two dollars back, please.
- Yes, sir.
417
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,113
See the New York
"Panor-rama. "
418
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,113
What's panor-rama,
Ma?
419
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,634
Everybody knows what
a pam-aroma is.
420
00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:55,315
- Well, what is it?
- It's a place over on, uh...
421
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,868
Something where they have,
uh, kind of a...
422
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,238
- Why don't you go and see for yourself!
- I will.
423
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,029
In direct line from us
is the Empire State Building...
424
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,270
the world's
tallest building.
425
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,830
To our right, along the Jersey coast
on Bedloe's Island...
426
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,911
is the
Statue of Liberty.
427
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,877
Pa, come here quick!
428
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,713
Look! Look!
429
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,639
- The river beyond to the right...
- Look! Look!
430
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,551
Look how small
the people look.
431
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,712
Look at those little cars!
Look at the buses!
432
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,268
If you want me to look at
all the things down there...
433
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,715
why'd you bring me
up here?
434
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,109
...1,050 feet high.
435
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:01,399
I wonder how long this
would take to get down there.
436
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,436
Oh, Pa!
You shouldn't have.
437
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,911
The first bridge crossing the East
River is the Williamsburg Bridge.
438
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,514
Next, Manhattan Bridge;
and third...
439
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,637
- the oldest and more famous, the Brooklyn Bridge.
- Stop! Stop!
440
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:17,190
Ma, he took the bag.
He took it.
441
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,520
Yes, we'll just have...
442
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,958
Hmm. Took longer
than I expected.
443
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:40,109
This is a waste of time,
watching Louie's place.
444
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,430
Munger isn't gonna show.
445
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,715
- No, but the dough might.
- Nah!
446
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,075
Well, they gotta...
Hey!
447
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,792
- Little Joe.
- Yeah.
448
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,758
- Must be a pay-off.
- He's carrying a black bag.
449
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,718
The money they took from the bank
was in a black bag.
450
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,155
That's it.
Let's go.
451
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,033
- I got it, Louie. I got it.
- Good work.
452
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,759
You're right.
Kettle is up to something.
453
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,876
He gets on the bus
without the bag.
454
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,030
A few minutes later,
I pick him up with it.
455
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,793
- They must be working with someone.
- Baby, I love ya.
456
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,155
A hundred grand!
457
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:30,118
- Okay, Louie, drop the bag.
- What do you want, copper?
458
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:34,512
Just the black bag with $ 100,000
from the bank job. Open it, Mike.
459
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,068
Yeah.
460
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,150
- Hey, Sam, it's empty.
- It's just like I said.
461
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,470
Empty?
It can't be!
462
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,553
- Look for yourself.
- Well...
463
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:07,158
Uh, fellas... Excuse us.
Accidents can, uh...
464
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,708
Well, so long.
465
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,032
Hey,
what a break!
466
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,588
Are we lucky there wasn't
any money in that bag.
467
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,148
If there was money
in that bag...
468
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,312
No money!
That Kettle!
469
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,789
This is his way of tellin' us
he wants a cut.
470
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,110
Nobody does this to us.
471
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,668
That's our dough and we
don't have to make a deal.
472
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,637
Little Joe,
keep after Kettle.
473
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:34,996
From now on we meet at Tony's place.
This joint is too hot.
474
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,957
Why would anyone want
to steal a bag...
475
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,996
especially
an empty bag?
476
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,957
Pa, you're gonna have
to watch yourself.
477
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,871
Trouble ain't with
watchin' myself.
478
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,191
It's with watching
those black bags.
479
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:53,273
You and Ma hurry
or we're never gonna get a table.
480
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,675
Why didn't you make
a reservation?
481
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,035
I did, but they're not
gonna hold it forever.
482
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,839
Tom, why couldn't you
have been here earlier?
483
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,876
Why, why, why?
484
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,838
When you're trying to convince bankers
to give you a loan, you don't say:
485
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,629
"Think fast. I have to take
my parents to a nightclub. "
486
00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:15,711
We have to get another bag
for Mr Jones's brother.
487
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,634
- Do that in the morning.
- He might come tonight. We don't want to disappoint him.
488
00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:22,712
I'll get it now.
What kind of bag was it?
489
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,395
It was, um, uh... Kim remembers.
She'll go with ya.
490
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,358
- Come on.
- Bye.
491
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,238
We'll meet you downstairs
in 10 minutes.
492
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,276
- Hurry up.
- All right, son.
493
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,399
- Here it is.
- Oh, that's the bag.
494
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,597
Got to put it in the room
where it'll be safe.
495
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,796
I'll just have to keep
the cab waiting.
496
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:52,030
Uh, pardon me, buddy.
You got a match?
497
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,749
Got one here
somewhere.
498
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,717
Mind holding this?
499
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,588
I'm sure I got one here
somewhere.
500
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,149
Hey, you got my bag.
501
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,549
You know it?
You got my bag.
502
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:11,631
Stop that man!
503
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,311
Stop this thing!
504
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,311
Pa, what happened
to you?
505
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,073
He didn't wait for the match.
He took the bag instead.
506
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,755
That makes three bags.
There's something rotten in Denmark.
507
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,070
It ain't good
in New York either.
508
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:47,715
- Why can't you get a table?
- For the simple...
509
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,837
You were so slow, they
cancelled the reservation.
510
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,071
I was slow?
I like that!
511
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,952
Mr Gigi, isn't there some way
you could get us a table?
512
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,235
I'm sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
513
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,993
There will be at least
one hour wait.
514
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,389
Thank you.
515
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,789
It'll be at least an hour
before we can get a table.
516
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,757
We could go to
the Starlite Roof.
517
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,149
It'll be just
as crowded there.
518
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:18,676
Do all nightclubs
have hat stores?
519
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,751
Huh?
520
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,709
Pa, that's a checkroom.
You give your hat to the girl.
521
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:29,190
- She'll watch it for you.
- She's gonna watch my hat?
522
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,431
Do New Yorkers have a
hankerin' for hats too?
523
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,830
Give me the hat.
524
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,909
Pardon me.
Kim!
525
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,912
George, what a
pleasant surprise!
526
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,560
How's the prettiest
girl in town?
527
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,916
My mother and father-in-law,
Mr and Mrs Kettle, George Donahue.
528
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,833
- Pleased to meet you. Mr Kettle.
- Howdy.
529
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,673
- You know Tom, of course.
- Hi, Tom.
530
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,513
Those plans Kim showed me
on the incubator are great!
531
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,592
I thought you were going to
bring it down for me to see.
532
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,911
Well, I've been
tied up with the banks.
533
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,719
Don't let the bankers
cheat you. Come to us.
534
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,588
Besides, I've already got money tied up
in it: Two martinis, three dollars.
535
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,832
- Don't forget the tip.
- That's right. That's seven dollars!
536
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,549
- You're leaving so early.
- We're waiting for a table.
537
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,712
You still have that old
influence with head waiters?
538
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,110
There will be
one hour's wait.
539
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,954
There's nothing like finding out.
I'll speak to Mr Gigi.
540
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,119
- Good evening, Monsieur Donahue.
- How 'bout a table?
541
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,634
- For you and the young lady?
- No.
542
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:39,632
Tonight we have
three chaperons.
543
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:42,280
If you're not waiting
for anyone, join us.
544
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,716
- That's all I was waiting for.
- This way, please.
545
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,872
I just had
a cancellation.
546
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,791
Come on, Ma.
547
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,397
- Pa, they're waiting for us.
- Oh.
548
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,631
Maybe we didn't do the right thing
in following Louie.
549
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:11,154
- Could be a decoy.
- What do you mean?
550
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:14,198
While we're watching him,
the other mugs are busy operating.
551
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:18,592
Might be. You watch.
I'm gonna take 40 winks.
552
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,716
- That's what you think. Look.
- Hmm?
553
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,631
Little Joe
with a black bag.
554
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:24,551
Come on!
555
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,599
- I'm bringing home the bacon, boys!
- Good boy, Little Joe!
556
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:36,195
That's the bag, all right. I spotted
Kettle's pay-off man handing it to him.
557
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,875
Kettle must be working
with another mob, the crook!
558
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,077
Baby, I love ya!
A hundred grand.
559
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,909
I'll finish that for you, Louie.
560
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,434
You'll get at least
20 years for this.
561
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:03,789
Hey, Sam,
this one's empty too.
562
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,151
W- Well, uh...
563
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,754
Just a routine checkup,
fellas.
564
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,229
We'll see you
around, huh?
565
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,990
Well!
Heh-heh-heh-heh!
566
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,675
"Just a routine checkup.
See you around. "
567
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,558
Kettle ain't gonna make
a sucker out of us.
568
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,200
I'll see him myself
and I'll get that bag!
569
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,991
Thank you.
570
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:39,030
- Here's your hat, Tom.
- Did you give the girl a quarter?
571
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,475
All she give me
was our hats.
572
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,870
I think I better say goodnight.
It's been a pleasure.
573
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,191
- Kim, it's always good to see you.
- Thank you for a wonderful evening.
574
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,191
Donahue, what was
our share of the cheque?
575
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,875
Forget it. If that incubator
is all Kim claims, we'll make a fortune.
576
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,791
Why don't your bring it
to the office?
577
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,872
Why don't you cut it out? You're
interested in Kim, not the incubator!
578
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,076
Tom!
579
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,197
- I'm sorry, George.
- Don't apologize for me.
580
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:08,114
You're mixed up, Tom.
Goodnight, everyone.
581
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,156
Goodnight.
582
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,913
Ma, I'm sorry this had
to happen in front of you.
583
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,117
No use to apologize,
honey.
584
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,839
It takes a while for young'uns
to understand each other.
585
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,876
But Tom hasn't any reason
to be jealous.
586
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,758
He didn't take his eyes off you for a minute.
He's still in love with you.
587
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,879
So what? I'm in love
with you, you big...
588
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:31,032
Duckal-oof?
589
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,315
Yes!
Duckal-oof!
590
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,153
Maybe I am
a Duckal-oof, but...
591
00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:38,549
I just needed to hear
you say you love me.
592
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,871
One good thing about married
people having a quarrel:
593
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:46,431
When they make up, they find out
they love each other that much more!
594
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,750
Come on, folks.
Let's get going.
595
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,512
It's gettin' late. We better get back
to the hotel.
596
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,068
Got to get up early
and buy another bag.
597
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:04,470
I've got to check on those bags.
It's more than coincidence.
598
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,872
Look, Pa!
A horse and buggy!
599
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:14,199
Just like back home.
600
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:17,033
- We could take it to the hotel.
- Go ahead. We'll walk.
601
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,874
- Can we give you a lift?
- The walk'll do us good.
602
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,395
Goodnight.
Thanks for everything.
603
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,756
- Call you in the morning.
- All right, Tom.
604
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,758
- Waldorf-Astoria.
- Sorry, sir.
605
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:38,833
- I just go round the park and come back here.
- That don't make sense.
606
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,388
Most of me customers
are young couples.
607
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:44,119
They like to ride through
the park at night. It's dark.
608
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,078
But there's the moon
and the stars.
609
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,435
You remember.
610
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,273
Ma, how old
do you feel?
611
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:56,717
Pa, right now I don't
feel a day over 18.
612
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,150
Giddy-up, Charles.
Once around the park.
613
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,431
Never ate out of anything
so fancy in all my life.
614
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,631
Mighty handy.
615
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:18,633
When you've finished eating,
you can see how much is left on your face.
616
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,991
Answer the phone.
617
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,269
Howdy.
618
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:38,193
Hello, Kettle?
This is Louie.
619
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,271
Mr Jones's brother.
620
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,955
Let's not beat around the bush.
I want the right bag.
621
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:47,715
Glad to oblige.
Want to pick it up here?
622
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:51,156
Oh no, you don't.
I'll meet you somewhere in the open...
623
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:53,071
like, uh...
624
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,037
The zoo... how 'bout
the Central Park Zoo?
625
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,395
I'll meet ya in front of
the monkeys' cage at 12:00.
626
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,232
How'll I recognize you?
627
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,153
I'll recognize you.
Just have the black bag.
628
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:07,435
How'll I get there?
629
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:08,919
Take a cab.
630
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,798
And Kettle, be there
if you wanna stay healthy.
631
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,639
Nice fella,
Mr Jones's brother.
632
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:21,551
Worried about
my health.
633
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,632
- We gotta meet him at the zoo.
- You'll have to go by yourself.
634
00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:28,395
This is the morning
Mr Schumacher is sending me...
635
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:33,076
to the Lucien et Louise
de Paris Beauty "Saloon. "
636
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,197
Uh-huh.
Well, all right, Ma.
637
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,477
I'll meet you back here.
638
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:44,429
Ah! Gotta stop
and buy a bag.
639
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,829
Well, gentlemen, what
do you think she needs?
640
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:23,072
- I think her eyebrows should go up.
- No, no. Down.
641
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:24,639
- Up.
- Down.
642
00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:26,551
- I think...
- Madam, please!
643
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,710
I, uh, think we should
give her rosebud lips.
644
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:34,631
Bring them out.
Mmm.
645
00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:36,472
I think they should
be brought in. Mmm.
646
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,391
- Out!
- In!
647
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,869
- Out!
- I think...
648
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,439
Madam, please!
649
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,114
- I just want to say...
- Madam...
650
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,031
look how long
you've had your face.
651
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:49,076
You've done
nothing with it.
652
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,957
- They should be out!
- In!
653
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,393
- Out! Out!
- In!
654
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,311
Make up your mind!
655
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,960
Please, madam.
A lady never has to shout.
656
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,952
You can get most anything
you want from a man...
657
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,156
by just using
your feminine charms.
658
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:04,515
That's one of the things
you will learn here.
659
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,034
There is no time to waste.
Let's get started.
660
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:11,716
She'll need a new face, new wardrobe,
manners, speech lessons.
661
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:20,913
Ladies and gentlemen, Madam Kettle
will need the full treatment.
662
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:24,197
- Come, come, now.
- This way, madam.
663
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,269
Ow! Ow!
664
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:09,037
- How's it going, Harvey?
- Terrible. Lost two more monks yesterday.
665
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,714
- Poisoned peanuts again?
- Yeah.
666
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:15,998
- What kind of guy goes around poisoning harmless animals?
- A fiend!
667
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,197
If I get my hands on 'im,
I'll beat his brains in.
668
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:21,669
I'd better not
catch him.
669
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,717
Howdy.
670
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,438
Have a peanut?
671
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:37,755
Hey, don't feed
the animals.
672
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,400
Why not? I've been
doin' it all my life.
673
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,835
Try it again, wise guy,
and I'll run ya in!
674
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,920
Kettle?
675
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,833
- Mr Louie?
- Yeah.
676
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:59,797
- You alone?
- Oh, sure.
677
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:03,429
- I can handle this myself.
- You're callin' the signals.
678
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:07,638
- What's the deal on the bag?
- Your brother said to give it to you.
679
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:12,589
- You know, you don't look much like your brother.
- Don't stall me.
680
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,148
Okay, Kettle.
Gimme the bag.
681
00:53:15,240 --> 00:53:17,071
With pleasure,
Mr Louie.
682
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,628
- I also want to give you this.
- Oh, no, you don't!
683
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:22,792
You'll want the key.
Hey, wait a minute.
684
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,511
Nervous fella.
685
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,875
Not friendly
like his brother.
686
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:40,513
Why that dirty,
double-crossin' rat!
687
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,551
What'd I tell you
about feeding the animals?
688
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,596
But I didn't!
689
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,240
- He was, uh...
- Peanuts!
690
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:52,390
Poisoned peanuts!
691
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,631
You! You murderer, you!
You fiend!
692
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:58,109
- What's the matter?
- This man is a killer.
693
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,158
- No!
- I know a killer when I see one.
694
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:10,196
- Come on. Confess.
- You poisoned the animals. Admit it.
695
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,998
Why'd you do it?
696
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,992
Come on,
sign this confession.
697
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:19,915
Like to oblige you, but I'd
be puttin' my name to a lie.
698
00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,993
- Look, Pop.
- It's Pa.
699
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,677
Sign that and we'll
turn off the light.
700
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,672
I wish you wouldn't.
It feels good.
701
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:38,993
If you'd move it over here,
it'd take the dampness out of my bones.
702
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:43,039
Look, Kettle, we let you call your wife.
But if you don't talk, you won't see her.
703
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,112
- Talk!
- Talk!
704
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,829
All right.
What'll we talk about?
705
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,516
He's a tough nut
to crack.
706
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,479
Grilling a monkey poisoner.
Nice assignment.
707
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,790
If we don't break him,
that lieutenant is gonna have us...
708
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:09,271
back in uniform
pounding the pavement.
709
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,632
- Talk!
- Talk!
710
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,033
You think Munger
and Jones are the same?
711
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,317
With what you told me
about the bags, I'd say yes.
712
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,868
But we've got to have
positive identification.
713
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:35,635
- Where can I get ahold of your father?
- He's at the Waldorf.
714
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:38,837
Get me the Waldorf.
If he isn't there?
715
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,876
Probably out
seeing the sights.
716
00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:45,756
Confess you poisoned the monkeys
and we'll give you a cigarette.
717
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:49,071
Thanks, but I don't
smoke cigarettes.
718
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:52,869
You're only human. How much more
of this do you think you can take?
719
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:55,520
Admit you fed
the monkeys.
720
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,797
Sure. But they gotta
eat, too, you know.
721
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:02,714
Funny town. Get arrested
for feeding animals.
722
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,917
But people take my black bags
and no one does nothin'.
723
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:11,313
New Yorkers are the finest people ever I
see, but they got a weakness for black bags.
724
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:13,868
Now look, Kettle...
725
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,110
Black bags?
726
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,350
Black bags!
727
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:22,319
I'll be right back.
728
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,836
Is there a chance the bag with the money
being returned to Pa?
729
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,674
Very unlikely. Without it, there's no
evidence to convict the Munger mob.
730
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,796
Lieutenant,
that animal poisoner?
731
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:33,711
Don't bother me with
animal poisoners!
732
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,918
- He said he had black bags stolen from him.
- Black bags stolen?
733
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:42,118
- Is he a thin man who wears a derby?
- That's him.
734
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,760
- That's Pa. Where have you got him?
- Wait a minute.
735
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:46,671
I got an idea.
Stay here.
736
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,911
Don't worry about your father.
I've got a plan. Come on, Eskow.
737
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,036
- Hi, Lieutenant.
- Hello, Hawkshaw.
738
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,839
Gimme the keys to the
Rogues Gallery file.
739
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,639
Thank you.
740
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,837
I'd like to see Mr Kettle.
741
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:13,714
I said, I'd like
to see Mr Kettle.
742
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:15,916
You can't
see him now.
743
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,673
- But he called me.
- You can't see him.
744
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,591
Why? What're they
doin' to him?
745
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,389
I'm sorry. I can't
give out that information.
746
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,311
It's against the rules.
747
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,358
Look, you...
748
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,955
I was hoping you
could help me.
749
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,555
You know, my weakness
is men in uniform.
750
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:40,553
You're kind of...
cute.
751
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:43,029
- What's your name, big boy?
- Well...
752
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:46,999
everybody thinks it's Hank,
but it's really Horace.
753
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,789
Horace!
My favourite name.
754
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,235
Oh.
755
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,278
I'd appreciate it
personally...
756
00:57:56,360 --> 00:58:00,273
if you told me what
they're doin' to Mr Kettle.
757
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:03,318
It's against the rules,
but they're grilling him.
758
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:07,109
Grillin' him!
Uh... grilling him?
759
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,430
Yeah, questioning him.
760
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:12,910
Where, Horace?
Which room?
761
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,355
I couldn't tell you that.
762
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,796
This means a lot
to me, Horace.
763
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,839
And it could mean
a lot to you too.
764
00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:28,193
It's the door marked
"Private. "
765
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,430
Thanks.
766
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:33,796
Thank you,
Horace.
767
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,116
- Talk!
- Talk!
768
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:47,317
I come after ya, Pa.
What's goin' on in here?
769
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,517
Oh, you sure
look pretty, Ma.
770
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,558
And smell pretty too!
771
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:57,519
Mmm, never mind the sweet talk!
What've they been doin' to ya?
772
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,910
Nothin'.
It's been right sociable.
773
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,958
- I'm takin' you outta here, Pa.
- Just a minute, lady!
774
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:05,837
What about his
habeas corpus?
775
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,354
I'm takin' that too!
776
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,110
- Mrs Kettle?
- Yes, that's me.
777
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,670
There's been a misunderstanding.
We wanted to speak to Mr Kettle...
778
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,149
about the black bags
and somehow this happened.
779
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:25,631
- How'd you know about the black bags?
- Your son phoned us.
780
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:29,349
I have pictures of the men
we think might have stolen your bags.
781
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,317
Recognize this guy?
782
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,197
The absent-minded fellow.
783
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,999
Wouldn't wait for the match.
Took the bag instead.
784
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,036
How 'bout this guy?
785
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,918
Oh, that's MrJones,
the poet.
786
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,558
He gave us the bag.
787
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:46,952
Of course! How did this get in here?
He's a great poet!
788
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:51,033
I'm one of his fans! We'll get to work
right away. You're free to go.
789
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,429
Thanks. How do we
get back to the hotel?
790
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:57,308
Take the subway and get off in four stops.
C'mon, Eskow.
791
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,231
Nice fella.
792
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,674
- Come on, Ma.
- Where we goin', Pa?
793
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,797
- For another ride through the park.
- Oh, Pa!
794
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,431
The chauffeur brought this
with your luggage, sir.
795
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,351
I don't think it's ours.
796
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:18,875
That's funny. Must've picked it up
at the station.
797
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:23,112
- It belongs to Mr Kettle at
the Waldorf-Astoria. - Kettle?
798
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:24,758
Kettle. Kettle.
799
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,832
- Not C.P. Kettle!
- Who's C.P. Kettle?
800
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,992
You've heard of him.
The underwear king.
801
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,991
One of the richest men
in the country.
802
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:36,152
I've been trying to do business with him,
but he never comes to New York.
803
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:38,356
What would he be doing
with a cheap bag?
804
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:42,149
He has a reputation for
being stingy and eccentric.
805
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,789
I wonder what's inside.
806
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,917
Oh, Harold!
You shouldn't!
807
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:56,312
Money!
808
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:58,755
There's nothing
but money!
809
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:07,956
Operator, get me
the Waldorf-Astoria.
810
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:10,634
This'll put me in solid
with the old gentleman.
811
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:16,716
Answer the phone,
Pa.
812
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:27,877
Howdy.
813
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,190
Mr Kettle, I don't know
if you remember me.
814
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:33,033
Harold Masterson.
I've written you several letters.
815
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,872
Never got 'em.
816
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:37,474
Are you the Kettle
in underwear?
817
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,469
Yeah, but how
did you know?
818
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,312
Why, everybody knows!
819
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:49,148
Wait a minute.
820
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:06,395
Go ahead.
I'm back.
821
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,596
Get ready for
a big surprise.
822
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,956
I have your black bag. It got mixed up
with my luggage at the station.
823
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:15,112
So, that's what happened!
824
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,509
Mr Kettle, we're having
a little party tonight.
825
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:21,036
Come out and pick up the bag.
You can kill two birds with one stone.
826
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:24,237
What do they do to you
if ya kill 'em?
827
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,276
I got arrested
for feeding them.
828
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,318
What a sense of humour!
829
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,595
I won't take no for an answer.
My car'll pick you up at 8:00.
830
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:34,035
If there's anybody you want
to bring, don't hesitate.
831
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,953
That's right neighbourly
of you.
832
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,508
Glad to oblige.
Goodbye.
833
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:43,149
Oh, Ma!
Man found Mr Jones's bag.
834
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,835
We better find Louie
and tell him what happened.
835
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:50,071
Might as well give him the
right bag, long as we found it.
836
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:52,196
Goodbye.
837
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:59,273
If and when this bag shows up,
we've gotta be prepared for action.
838
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,636
- That's why this plan.
- I still don't like it.
839
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:05,439
- You're making clay pigeons out of my folks.
- What else?
840
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:08,956
If we told them about the $ 100,000,
they'd get nervous and tip off Louie.
841
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,430
It's the only way. As soon as Pa gets
the real bag, the mob'll move in.
842
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,351
We need to nail 'em
with the evidence.
843
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:17,352
- Who's gonna protect my folks?
- We will and you will.
844
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:21,479
- Me?
- Yes, you can be around without arousing suspicion.
845
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:26,550
- What about the kids? They're living with a killer.
- Don't worry.
846
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:29,632
I'll notify the police
and the kids'll be safe.
847
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:32,757
Is it a deal, Tom?
848
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:37,550
Okay... but I hope
it's the right thing.
849
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:48,628
Hey, I got the white ring.
It's my turn!
850
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:54,114
Stop! No, please, kids,
not again.
851
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:08,150
- Help! Let me down!
- He's got one of the kids.
852
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,708
Three men come with me,
the rest of you go through the front.
853
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,995
We're going around
the back. Come on.
854
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,509
Help! Help! Let me down!
855
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,709
Okay, kids.
We'll take over.
856
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,834
Let him down.
Nice goin', Benjamin.
857
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,957
- How'd you know that was Shotgun Munger?
- The bank robber?
858
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:35,670
- We didn't. We were just playing cobs and robbers.
- Cops and robbers?
859
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,438
Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you.
Get me outta here.
860
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,478
- Boys, get him a nice, comfortable cell.
- Thanks.
861
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:46,597
Just so long
as I'm safe.
862
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,875
Murphy, stay here
and protect the kids.
863
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,520
Brodney, stay here
and protect Murphy.
864
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,315
Follow that car.
865
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,430
Follow that cab.
866
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,989
Follow that cab.
867
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:03,911
The salesman said
to the farmer...
868
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:07,276
"If you find me in the barn,
I deserve to get shot. "
869
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,238
- Robert, they've just pulled in.
- Uh, good.
870
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,834
- We'll meet the Kettles at the door. Excuse us.
- Of course.
871
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:16,071
Victoria, go out of your way
to be nice to Kettle.
872
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:19,072
I can make a million
out of this.
873
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:29,633
Mr Masterson,
howdy.
874
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:33,429
Mr Masterson is inside, sir.
Who shall I say is calling?
875
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,637
Uh, Kettles calling.
876
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:39,553
- Won't you come in?
- Why, sure!
877
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,276
Nice place
you got here.
878
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:48,558
- Your hat, sir?
- Course it's my hat.
879
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:51,200
Haven't the Kettles
come yet?
880
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:55,512
These...
are the Kettles, sir.
881
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:58,876
Mr Kettle, I am Masterson,
and this is Mrs Masterson.
882
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:00,916
Howdy.
883
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,595
This here is Ma;
and these are my two kids...
884
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:08,434
- Tom and, uh... Kim.
- Kim!
885
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:10,397
Hope you don't mind
my bringin' 'em here.
886
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:12,914
You're welcome.
Any friend of yours is a friend of...
887
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:14,831
Charles, take
Mr Kettle's hat.
888
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:19,072
No, you don't! I ain't gonna pay
no quarter to get it back.
889
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:21,549
That's so funny!
890
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:24,473
- Isn't it, dear?
- Yes.
891
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:28,314
Uh, it's all right, Pa.
Let him take it.
892
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:32,951
- Darling, take the Kettles into the garden?
- I'd love to.
893
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:36,157
I'll join you in a moment. There's
something I must attend to in the library.
894
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:39,038
- It's right out here.
- Come on.
895
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:51,390
- I'm a friend of the Kettles.
- Your hat...
896
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,755
- In the garden, sir.
- Thanks, bud.
897
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:13,551
Friend of the Kettles.
898
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,756
- Uh, in the garden, sir.
- Thank you.
899
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,474
I'm sorry,
Mrs Masterson.
900
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:25,348
- We didn't realize your party was going to be formal.
- Harold should've told you.
901
01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:27,670
But, you all
look lovely.
902
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:30,069
That's a pretty dress
you got on.
903
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:33,596
Too bad the top wasn't finished
in time for the party.
904
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:37,309
- Uh, won't you two dance?
- Yes, thank you.
905
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,915
Excuse me. I'll see
what's keeping Harold.
906
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:44,356
You'd think she'd be
afraid of catchin' cold.
907
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,670
Caviar?
908
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:55,196
What they won't think of next!
Buckshot on toast.
909
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,959
Mmm. Tastes good, Pa.
We'll have to try cookin' some.
910
01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:12,959
- Why, George! What are you doing here?
- Kim!
911
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:15,634
- Hello, Tom.
- George.
912
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,917
I'd like to apologize for being so stupid
the other night.
913
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,992
Forget it. I have. I didn't know
you knew the Mastersons.
914
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,753
- We didn't until tonight.
- Masterson's my partner.
915
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:28,196
- He's the one interested in backing your incubator.
- Oh, really?
916
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:34,194
I've got something to tell you.
Where can we talk?
917
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,352
Let's go
right over here.
918
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:47,510
Kettle said the bag
would be here.
919
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:53,235
- The place is crawlin' with cops!
- So what?
920
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:56,676
- What can they arrest us for? Crashing a party?
- Maybe it's a trap.
921
01:09:56,760 --> 01:10:00,753
We gotta get to that bag before
they do or it's goodbye a hundred Gs.
922
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:05,391
Havin' to steal the same dough twice!
It's a crime.
923
01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:09,632
- What are we going to do?
- Sell Kettle $ 1 million worth of bonds.
924
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:13,190
$ 1 million worth of bonds?
He doesn't spend $20 on a suit!
925
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:16,238
- I told you he was eccentric.
- Eccentric?
926
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:20,359
They're fantastic! Did you see
those friends that followed them in?
927
01:10:20,440 --> 01:10:24,194
Maybe they're bodyguards.
Make sure they're enjoying themselves.
928
01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:26,271
I'll get his bag
out of the safe.
929
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:30,831
- We better tell H.M. So he'll know what to expect.
- Tom!
930
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:33,388
Lieutenant, I saw your men.
I was hoping you'd be here.
931
01:10:33,480 --> 01:10:36,517
- I tried to get you at headquarters.
- What's up?
932
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:39,160
- Masterson claims he has the original bag.
- Great.
933
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:41,151
If the dough's in it, we can pinch
the whole bunch. Where's Masterson?
934
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:44,596
- In the library.
- Lt Klein, George Donahue.
935
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,353
- How do you do?
- This way.
936
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,033
- Don't you like to dance?
- Sure do!
937
01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:07,795
- We only do square dancin'.
- Square dancing!
938
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:12,192
It might be fun.
Let's see about it.
939
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,272
- Mr Saul, can you play a square dance?
- We can play it.
940
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:21,955
- But we need someone to call.
- I can do that!
941
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:24,190
How wonderful!
942
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:27,397
Mr Saul,
stop the music, please.
943
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:29,791
Listen, everyone!
944
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:34,317
We're going to square dance,
and Mr Kettle has consented to call.
945
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:38,552
Howdy, folks. Grab your partner,
set your squares.
946
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:48,029
- Help 'em, Ma.
- All right, Pa. I will.
947
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:52,231
Excuse me, folks.
Make a square, now.
948
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:56,154
Make a square.
Come on.
949
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:59,232
All right, Pa!
Start the music.
950
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,879
Let's have a little quiet,
folks.
951
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:06,599
This is going to be
ladies' choice.
952
01:12:06,680 --> 01:12:11,834
I'll call my version
of a square dance twister.
953
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:13,592
Music!
954
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:17,070
Everybody stomp and swing
Swing 'em half the time
955
01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:20,516
Side couples split and step
right back Stand there four in line
956
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:23,558
Everybody forward and back
I'll tell you the reason why
957
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:27,633
Pass right through Say how are
you and look 'em straight in the eye
958
01:12:27,720 --> 01:12:31,156
Weave back and forth across
the set Folks, you're doin'swell
959
01:12:31,240 --> 01:12:34,630
You reach the end and turn right
back Clap hands and give a yell
960
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:37,712
If you get lost don't get
upset while the others promenade
961
01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:41,156
Swing your honey till the rest
get back And don't you be afraid
962
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:44,835
Stop right there and grab your
pardn' Swing 'em high and low
963
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,037
Swing Lulu Bell and Happy
Jack Swing your Uncle Joe
964
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:50,998
- There's the bag.
- I'll warn Pa.
965
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:55,153
Treat 'em all alike Treat 'em all
the same No cheatin' in the game
966
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:58,835
Pa, listen! That black bag of yours
has $ 100,000 in it.
967
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:01,354
Mr Jones and his brother
are bank robbers.
968
01:13:01,440 --> 01:13:03,715
- Bank robbers?
- Yeah. Look!
969
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:11,396
- Look, he's getting away.
- I'll fix 'im.
970
01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:15,519
Ma, cage that bird with seven hands
round Close in and make it tight
971
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:18,990
Someone else is in the deal
But wait, I'll make it right
972
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:22,470
Now rip and snort Go through
the rings Gee, there it goes again
973
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:25,870
Ma, head 'em off and tackle low
and kick him on the shin
974
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:29,316
Get in there, Ma and swing Grandpa
with one, two, three, you know
975
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:32,870
Give an upper cut and grab
that bag Then duck and away you go
976
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:36,236
Promenade Indian style Watch
the guy comin'down the aisle
977
01:13:36,320 --> 01:13:39,710
A dirty trick, a rotten shame
Don't worry, Ma You're not to blame
978
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:43,554
Signals nine and forty-four That's
all there is There ain't no more
979
01:13:47,880 --> 01:13:49,711
Here's your bag,
Lieutenant.
980
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:53,156
- You did a fine job.
- I couldn't have done it without Ma's help.
981
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:55,071
Ah, now, Pa!
982
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:09,669
Ah, home sweet home.
983
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:12,433
- Have a good time in New York?
- We sure did!
984
01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:15,796
It's a nice place to visit,
but there's no place like Cape Flattery.
985
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:18,599
- Here you are, Ed. Keep the change.
- What?
986
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:21,478
I learned that in New York.
987
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:30,272
Sure is peaceful like,
ain't it, Pa?
988
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:32,271
It sure is, Ma.
989
01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:40,588
Well, of all things!
990
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:42,557
Burglars!
991
01:14:44,200 --> 01:14:47,670
What are you tryin' to do,
ruin my carpet?
992
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,513
If it isn't Murphy
from the sheriff's office.
993
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:53,034
So it is.
Untie him.
994
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:56,913
What're you doin'
in here anyway?
995
01:14:57,000 --> 01:15:00,197
Sheriff left us here to protect the kids.
We're leavin'!
996
01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:03,352
He should've sent
the state militia.
997
01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:06,000
Help me clean up
this mess.
998
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:14,592
They're loose!
Put a blanket over 'em!
999
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:21,919
- Let me outta here!
- Turn on the lights!
1000
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:25,276
- Let us outta here!
- Ma!
1001
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:31,753
Ahh.
The little darlings.
1002
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:35,628
- Yep. But you gotta watch 'em.
- Oh, Pa!
79829
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