All language subtitles for The.Finellis.Movie.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

[Music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Here meet Tony,

a Finelli The "Once
and Future King"...

He has a golden throat.

This man was born to sing.

His agent was the "Yang"
to his Italian "Ying".

But they signed away their
lives to a big criminal ring.

Now the Dupe's
Become the "Super".

In the house he used to own.

Tony's eating "Humble
pie" She's his "Ex-".

His kids are grown.

Who'd a thought that a Finelli
would do windows and floors,

while he's knocking,
knocking, knocking

at Fame and Fortune's door.

Hello, can I come in?

Yes here's Tony a Finelli.

He takes it on the chin.

After 15 years where life
was always set on "Spin".

Lands on his feet
or on his belly.

He stands up with a grin.

So, meet Tony, a Finelli,
an American in Berlin.

Today in Germany recording
star Tony Finelli was

sentenced to 15-years
for his connections

to the mafia boss Mister Big.

That was then
and this is now.

Nearly 25 years
after he shocked

the entertainment world,
with his unexpected arrest,

the voice from
New York is back.

It's a big night for
Tony Finelli fans,

as he celebrates his World
Premiere of his new musical,

Love Will Never Die
in a pre-Broadway Tryout

at the Chicago Theater.

Join me, Barbara Bischof,
in a one-on-one exclusive

interview with the man of
the hour, Tony Finelli.

Come in.

Barbara, lovely
to see you again.

It's been a long time.

So now you're British, Tony.

I've been working on
this British accent

because I got to play a
vampire, and nobody here

thinks they got
bloodsuckers in Brooklyn.

But they've never been
to my old neighborhood.

We have known each
other a long time.

Five years go when you
started your comeback

I was the first people
to interview you.

Yes you were.

And while I'm
thinking about it,

can I offer you perhaps
a cup of coffee?

Not that I want to
make advertising,

just a little promotion.

Oh.

Your last tour was
a massive success.

How many countries
were you in?

Sixteen.

Here you are five years
later back up on top

with your name in lights.

What does that feel like?

Pretty d*** good,
I got to say.

Well, what a journey
this has been...

I'm coming home.

Open that door.

It's time to turn the key.

After 15 long years
baby I'm finally free.

There's no more waiting.

What the f***?

Where's all the paparazzi?

What are you nuts?

You called the press?

I'm getting out of prison.

This ain't the
academy awards.

Come on.

Tina and the girls will
be here to pick us up.

Let's go.

You got money for a cab??

No.

Come on.

Listen to that, birds.

I ain't heard a bird
sing in 15 years.

So what?

Even after all this time,
I'm still behind bars.

Let's try the other gate.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, I got this.

I got this.

Move.

It don't fit anymore.

What the f*** did you Tony,
you thought that was

going to work after
all this years?

Tina probably changed
the g**** lock like

15 seconds after we got
f***** sentenced.

Forget about 15, kiss my
m***** ass years.

Tina, Lola, Lina,
Daddy's home.

Daddy's home.

Tony, I didn't tell you,
all right,

but, a couple of weeks ago,

I got paper's from
Tina's low-life,

piece of s***
m***** ass lawyer.

Jürgen, why do you
curse like that?

You ain't from Brooklyn.

You're German.

German's don't
talk like that.

And this ain't
no Scorsese film.

What the f***.

Do you think I don't
know what my stupid-ass

nationality is?

When I was 13 years old,

I watched "Goodfellas"
16 times in a row.

That s*** got
stuck with me, man.

You got a screw loose.

Probably a few.

Look, I should have told you,

but the f*** divorce
has gone through.

Well give me a f**** break.

Jürgen. Oh, that mouth.

Do come in.

Hey.

Come on man.

Nobody sings that like my Tony.

Bea, would you
knock it off?

You'll wake up the dead.

Shhhh, Sta' zitto.

It's my Tony.

I love when he
sings in Italian.

Pete, what did you do?

Where are we gonna
put all this stuff?

What's the matter with you?

There was a yard sale.

It was a deal.

I couldn't resist.

It's a small apartment.

How many TV's do we need?

I was thinking about
one for Nonna's room.

Not enough salt.

Ma, don't eat that.
It's raw.

Non mangiare, Mamma.

She don't even know
if a meatball is raw

or cooked anymore.

What is she going
to do with a TV?

Yesterday, she threw her
radio out the window.

She said it was
possessed by the devil.

Come here.

Don't touch my hair.

Took me half-an-hour to
get that thing glued on right.

I had to put it on twice.

First time, I wasn't
wearing my glasses

and put it on backwards.

I looked like a squirrel
caught in a hurricane.

No, I can touch
what I want.

53 years and I know
every hair on your head,

including the ones we bought.

Wow, nice.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, so sorry, Jailbait.

I forgot you exist.

Wow, nice threads.

Must be strange
not to be wearing

a Jailhouse Uniform, huh?

My, you smell great.

What are you wearing?

"Success."

Yours or His?

Speaking of smells,

how were the showers
in jail, Mr. Macho?

Oops, don't drop the soap.

I guess you were the
"Belle of the Balls".

Well Sir, I cleaned
up the kitchen.

And I have painted the wall.

And we are done
with the office.

We're not lazy.

Ooh, take a joyride.

Now it's funtime.

I am the boss here.

Come and get undressed.

Take a joyride.

Welcome to the
playground Tony.

You are the best here,
yes I must confess.

Take a joyride, Tony.

I am the boss here,
come and get undressed.

Take a joyride.

Welcome to the playground,
it's all right.

You are my favorite.

Yes I must confess.

Oh, here's my plan, tony,
let me show you everything

that I'm planning, yeah.

It's time to leave behind
all that nonsense.

Time for pleasure.

Tony?

Tony?

Tony I'm talking to you.

You realize, that
we are divorced now.

I didn't sign no
divorce papers.

It ain't legal.

Oh, this from
Mr. Repeat Offender.

Jürgen, please inform
Forrest Gump that after

3 years of separation,

a divorce without
consent is possible.

Come on guys, knock
it the f*** off.

I wanted to see you in person,

before I signed the papers.

I wanted to look
you in the eyes.

There.

Seen enough?

Tina, you look
f*** incredible.

It's amazing what not
having a LOSER

in the house does for
one's complexion.

Really?

I thought that came from
drinking the blood

of innocent virgins.

Jürgen, please tell
the "Deadbeat Dad"

that as per our divorce
agreement, I keep the house,

but he has use of the
attic apartment.

The attic apartment??

How generous.

You shouldn't have.

I wouldn't have.

Tell him, he can see the
girls as he'd like...

but good luck with that.

Come on Tina, what the
f*** do I look like,

g**** Western Union?

Talk to him.

They're your f**** kids.

If you take my lipstick again,

I'm going to dismember your
Teletubby collection.

Look who's talking.

You're still a member of
the official Barney Fanclub.

"I love you, you love me..."

Mom.

Mom.

That may be dangerous.

Dad.

Dad.

Hi there.

Lena.

Smart girl.

She knows when
something is rotten.

Don't mind her.

You know how she is.

The "ice queen."

She doesn't have a heart,
she has Intel inside.

Why is she so angry?

She doesn't really
remember you anymore.

That must have been
incredibly difficult for you?

From one day to the next,
you were gone.

I think it was the
hardest for my family.

I mean my daughters.

Especially Lola my eldest,
she was, old enough to

sort of understand, you know,
what was going on.

But you know it
couldn't have been...

it wasn't easy for anybody.

That must have been amazing
after such a long time to

finally hold your
daughters in your arms?

You can't imagine.

You know when I was
finally got back home,

I just, I just wanted to be
the most loving father

I could possibly be,
and you know,

do all those
Father-Daughter thing,

you know, like "normal".

Thanks.

I had a really nice time.

Me, too.

What are you doing
on Saturday?

Well, I got work,
but with the right guy

I might be available.

Am I the right guy?

Give me a kiss and
I'll let you know.

Hey.

Dad.

What is this?

It's not what, who.

This is Helmut.

And what is this "Helmut"

doing kissing in my daughter
in my staircase?

Hello Mr. Finelli.

I'm a big fan.

Shut up, kid.

You're Road kill.

Put him down right now.

If you hurt my daughter,
I hurt you.

Capisch?

I'm not gonna hurt anyone.

You got that damn right.

Let's go.

I'm 27 years old,
not 10 anymore, Dad.

This is not your house and
this is none of your business.

I'll call you.

Who the hell do
you think you are?

You humiliated me.

Don't talk to
me like that.

I'm your father.

Since when?

You've been gone
for 15 years.

What are you doing
with that jerk?

I'm trying to have a life.

And he's not a jerk, but
you sure are acting like one.

Me?

What?

Come on.

All right, so maybe
I overreacted a little.

Overreacted?

You called him "Roadkill".

I just don't want
you to get hurt.

Well you're a little late.

What do you mean?

At 16 years old
I was nearly raped

on my way home one night.

That is when I needed you,
not with some sweet guy

who just wanted
to give me a kiss.

It was by Sauvigny Platz.

And it was late.
And it was dark.

I had my headphones
in and I was walking.

Why did nobody tell me?

What for?

You were in prison.

I should have been
there for you Lola.

I guess I overreacted,
with Helmut, huh?

Yeah, I think he's
scarred for life, now.

Actually, I think he
took a dump in his pants.

Sure smelled that way.

It's just that I'm not used
to seeing you like that.

Like what?

I'm a grown woman.

And he was a nice guy.

And now, you've ruined
everything again.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

How can I make it up to you?

Just stay out of
my business...

Charming as always, I see.

I guess I got carried away.

Tony, upset my daughter
again and I'll have you

carried away in a wooden box.

No need.

I'll just stand next to
you and freeze to death.

There's a course,

"How To Win Friends and
Influence People."

Enroll.

Lena, Lena my little one,

she was 5 when I got
sent to prison.

She was a high school
graduate when I got out.

You know, and then, I was
a convicted criminal.

I mean, it's not exactly
something you brag

about to your friends.

Tony, I'm a mother,
I can't even imagine

what that must have been like.

My daughter Lena,

that she grew up
without her father,

that's something I can't
forgive myself for.

Why did you stop playing?

That was beautiful.

Tony.

Don't call me Tony.

I am your father.

If you are my father,
why did you abandon me?

It's not like
I had a choice.

I got arrested.

But you didn't do
anything wrong.

For two weeks every
day after school

I went to the courthouse.

I read the legal briefs.

You did what?

Well that's funny.

You know I was the one in
prison when they talked to be

about legal briefs.

I thought they meant the
underwear that I wore in court.

You were innocent.

Said no one, never.

Would you please,
you're not helping.

Honey, there are things
that I can't explain to you

right now.

I wish I could.

Finelli, have a seat.

Agent Schmitt will be in.

If you need me I'll be
right outside the door.

So Mr. Finelli, Tony,
as you well know,

the Gamberetto Family has a big
interest in discretion.

So I would like to know
the name of the "little birdy"

who keeps singing.

This is some kind of joke?

I don't know nothing
about no stupid "Birdy."

Don't give me that.

I know that Jürgen talks
to you about everything.

Jürgen does the business.

I do the singing.

That's our deal.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Take your time, Finelli.

Take your time.

I got all night.

But at one point you
have to answer me.

Agent Schmitt,
it's your wife.

Says it's an emergency.

Okay.

I'll be back.

Like I'm going somewhere.

Prego, Don Niccolo.

Avanti.

Finelli, listen carefully.

Who are you?

Sono Niccolo
Gamberetto, Mr. Big.

Mr. Big.

You.

All right, what is this,
Candid Camera?

Where's the camera huh?

You and Manager
take the dive.

No questions.

If you open your mouth,
you're dead.

He's dead.

Tina, Lola and Lena dead.

The Manager's family dead.

You play along and the
Gambaretto Family

will take care of
you and them,

for the rest of your lives.

You know, you know
my kids names?

Tony, niente giocchi.

Do what I say and live.

Non lo fai?

Siete tutti morti.

Tony, now let's
talk about Mr. Big.

Barbara, now let's not
and say we did, okay.

This is Yvonne,
my makeup genius.

This makeup takes some time,

so she's going to
start my makeup

while we continue to talk,
all right?

Hello Yvonne.

Okay Tony.

Now back to Mr. Big.

You went to prison for a mob
boss, a ruthless criminal,

and no one really knows
what happened.

Did you cut a deal?

Barbara, next question,
move on.

Did he pay you off?

Did he pay you off?

Don't go there.

Did he make you,
excuse the pun,

did he make you an offer
you couldn't refuse?

It's not funny.

You know we had a deal.

This is not cool.

You're right.

This isn't cool.

I'm sorry.

You know, I had to
put in the writer.

You're not supposed to ask
questions about Mr. Big.

Don't say you're sorry
if you don't mean it.

You asked that
question on purpose.

You have no idea.

I had no choice.

That man, he threatened
to destroy everyone

and everything that
I ever cared about.

I walked away
from everything

that I spent a
lifetime building.

Because otherwise
everybody I ever loved

would have been dead.

Is that thing on?

You taped, turn
that thing off.

You cannot use, no, no,
you cannot use any of that.

Calm down, Tony, calm down.

This could be good for you.

No. Turn that off.

The people will finally
find out who you really are.

No.

Tony?

Earth to Loser.

I'm talking to you.

Huh?

Since you were "otherwise
engaged" most of her life,

you might like to
know that Lena

is the valedictorian of
her class and has been

accepted to attend
Harvard in the Fall.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you Mom.

And of you Lola.

Wow, Lena,
that's incredible.

Can I have a hug?

Sure:

That was strange.

Yeah, Dad she got in under
the "affirmative action" rule.

They affirmed that
she was mental.

Hey.

Hands, hands,
watch your hands.

Lola, don't be jealous.

Me?

Jealous?

Yeah.

I made you something
while I was away.

Oh, goody.

Prison Presents.

You girls must be so proud.

Daddy it's amazing.

I remember that.

You used to make up
stories for us at bedtime.

Show me your new trick,
come on.

I want to see.

Very good.

Now come on,
jump over here.

Let's go.

Boom.

Very good.

Hey, you want Bibo Bear?

Yeah.

All right, now,
let's read a story.

Come close, close,
close, close.

Let's finish where we were.

Then Gaston goes up
to Belle and says,

I'm going to use my...

No Daddy,
not this one.

Tell us the story
about the Circus again.

Yeah, the ones that fly,
the ones that fly.

You want to hear the story of
the "The Flying Finellis"?

Yeah.

Oh no.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Well aren't you two the
luckiest girls in Berlin

because I just finished
the "Flying Finelli"

Comic book, just for
you two monkeys.

All right.

Let's go.

Come on, all right.

Here we go.

"Once upon a time not
too far from here,

The Fratelli Gumba Bumba
Circus came to town.

The stars of the circus
were "The Flying Finellis"

-- Tony, Tina and the smart,

brave and powerful
Lola and Lena.

The younger sister Lena,

was fast and light
as a bird.

She dared to do the
upside-down triple flip

and eat candy corn
at the same time.

Lola, the older sister had
magical, beautiful hair

which gave her
amazing strength.

Lola could lift anything,

except this dark cloud

that was hanging over
her family's head.

The Gumba Bumba
Circus was in trouble.

Ticket sales were down.

Lola and Lena
were very worried.

If the circus closed,

what would happen to
the "Flying Finellis?"

Until one day Lena,
as she was prone to do,

came up with a brilliant idea.

Well if I had known,
how things was gonna turn out,

I would have drawn
three Flying Finellis

and a Lady Vampire.

Hilarious.

Now, would you please go
to your own apartment?

It starts to smell
like prison in here.

Here's the key.

Oops.

Come on, Dad, I'll help you
bring your things upstairs.

Okay.

Are you coming, Brainiac?

Fine.

Oh my God, what is that smell?

What the f***?

Man.

Tony.

What a smell.

What is all this stuff?

Oh I forgot to tell you.

Until last week, I was
renting this apartment

to a pet store for
their manure storage.

Oops.

I guess they
forgot to clean up.

Hell that's gross.

Jürgen.

Fury.

Don't worry Dad, I'll
help you clean it up.

Lola, you don't
have to do this.

Girls did you know
that your father's job

in the "big house" was
cleaning up the prison?

I hate my life for sure.

Wish I had a knife for sure.

Sick of cleaning,
sick of kicked.

Sick of cleaning
and sick of grit.

Oh I hate my life, yeah.

Are we having a party?

We?

What we?

There's you.

There's me and
there's the door.

Use it.

You know, your butt must be
so jealous of all the crap

coming out of your mouth.

You're pretty funny.

The "Ice Queen" melts.

No, no, no!

Three plates.

So, "Mr.

Big Shot Has Been",

how are you going
to make money now?

Mama, Daddy's
a great singer.

He should sing.

Yes, Tony should
definitely sing.

What, "Jailhouse Rock?"

I want to play my role.

You got a scene with me.

I'm acting like a beast
but you can free me.

Be fast and see I'm chasing
you so riled and smug.

Yes, it's love my
trophy cup, oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The main line.

I feel so fine.

She brings out a bottle
of a little wine.

I'm so crazy, I don't
want to get no one else.

Please take my hand
and I will do my best.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's acting me right
off of the stage.

She knows her lines and
says them in a subtle way.

I'm confident that she
will be my bride someday.

Yes it's love.

My trophy cup.

Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Melek is no longer here,

so the apartment
is yours to use.

But you'll have to
pay rent of course.

What's a Mr. Melek?

Who's that?

He takes care of the
guestrooms around the house,

and fixes stuff.

Like a Super,
like a Janitor.

What guest rooms?

Mamma rents rooms
out like Air BnB.

What the f**** is that?

Michael Jordan
has a hotel?

BnB -- Bed and Breakfast.

You left me with nothing
except all the costs

and all the responsibilities.

What was I supposed to do?

So like everyone else,
you can pay rent.

I ain't paying rent.

This is my house.

Was.

Was your house.

You got 15 years.

I got the mortgage.

Tina, I just got out.

You got to give me some time.

Time is money.

Like you Americans say,
"In God We Trust".

All others pay cash.

Tina, I'm already
working on some stuff,

but it won't happen overnight.

Wait a minute.

I just got an idea.

Mamma, Mr. Malik quit
last month, right?

Yeah.

Since Daddy doesn't have a job,
why can't he do it?

What, me, be the Super?

Wait a minute, I promised
myself after Moabit,

I would never mop again.

Remember, Daddy?

Clean up your own backyard
before you go knocking

on your neighbor's door.

Drugstore candy's
sweet but not free.

Guess you believe the
same is true for me.

Cleaning, washing
dishes ain't my future.

Time for plain talk
now between you and me.

Well I need a cat and
not a little kitty.

Because I am so pretty.

Damn, I'm fun and witty.

Now, a little bitty
guy will pretend

he don't know that you
and I we don't belong.

Tony you're old
brain's scarred.

Oh, understand me,
this is a sign.

and Hallelujah baby.

Grow up and go take charge.

You clean and don't
protest and we'll be fine.

You tend to your business.

I'll tend to mine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah.

Daddy, please take the job.

And then we can see
each other every day.

I need to talk to you, come.

What?

Just go in there.

We'll be right back.

Don't worry.

What is it?

You know, it ain't
such a bad idea

when you think about it.

We've been gone for
15 f**** years.

In the music business,
that's like dying.

Actually, we could make
more money with you

if you're f**** dead

Ha ha, very funny.

So, we're starting at zero.

No, we're starting
below zero.

What the f*** is below zero?

Negative one.

You know there's only three
kinds of people in the world,

those who can count,
and those who can't.

Huh?

Whatever.

All I know is we got
really f****** f*****

by that guinea
b****** Mr. Big.

Yeah, but I got
two left hands.

Jürgen you know that.

"Fake it until you make it."

Just f**** fake it Tony.

Take the job.

At least it will put
a roof over our heads

and buy us some time until
we get back on our feet.

Man.

I mean I would get to see
the kids every day and Tina.

That chick is as cold
as a nuclear winter man.

Yeah.

She hasn't been the same
since that girl from

Kansas dropped that
house on her sister.

So what do you say?

I don't know.

I got to think about it.

Great, come on.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

Tony's going to
take the job.

Tony, I know times were tough,
but why on earth,

did you agree to work as
the janitor in you own house.

Wait a minute, it was
your ex-wife's house.

All hell would freeze
over before I would work

as a janitor in my
ex-husband's house.

Whose idea was that?

It sure wasn't mine.

Then why did you do it?

Are you a masochist Tony?

You'll have to
ask my shrink.

Actually, if you think about it,
it wasn't so crazy.

I wanted to be near
my daughters.

I wanted to put my
family back together.

Family is important to me,
so you do what you gotta do.

Hey Girls, where
are you going?

Grandma called.

She needs some help.

Lena, where's your shoes?

Grandma's stretching
them for me.

Yeah, she used to
do that for me, too.

Do you think Nonna
has had a bath?

She always smells
like "old lady."

She's 88.

What do you expect?

Actually, she sort
of smelled that way

when I was a kid, too.

You know maybe it's
a "Sicilian thing".

Sort of like a mix
of garlic and,

nah, let's not go there.

Anyway, tell Grandma I'll
be upstairs just as soon

as I make this
hallway my own.

You fly girl.

I like how you twirl.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, Dad, Dad
stop, stop, stop.

Why?

You're so weird.

You look ridiculous.

Aw.

It's amazing how much you
sound just like your mother.

You, you used to love my
imitation of the Godfather.

Yeah, I was three.

Well, I got soul, girls.

You can't keep a man
down who got soul.

You fly girl.

You look like a pearl.

- You fly girl.
- You fly girl, yeah, yeah.

You look like a pearl.

Come on.

Sing it.

I would, I could,
I want you.

Hey, hey, aw.

Whazzup my ****?

Wait a minute man,
you can't call me that.

Tony, Tony, I can say whatever
the hell I want to say.

I mean come on, people
been calling me that

my whole life.

Now I finally met
somebody blacker than me.

Look man, you can call me
whatever you want,

but I ain't using,
you know like the N word,

you know, you.

How are you saying
I'm blacker than you?

Dude, because when you sing,
you've got soul.

All right, ugly soul,
ugly soul.

Soul, I got soul.

Soul sing, come on man.

Now wait, wait.

Come on, really, you told me
your Grandmother was from,

where is she from?

She's from Sicily.

Sicily, right.

I think about it.

She was probably getting it
on with some of the brothers

overseas in Africa, mm-hmm.

No, I don't even want
to think about them.

Man, you're messing
up my groove.

Come on, let's sing.

All right.

Got to slice.

Got to slice.

It's going to taste nice.

It's going to taste nice.

Cut a slice.

Cut a slice.

It's going to taste nice.

Oh, oh, oh.

You're killing me.

You're killing me.

I could.

I want you.

Oh, help me.

It's over.

You're crazy man.

Take me out of here.

I feel like the walking dead.

The walking dead?

That explains why
you're so slow.

Sing less.

Work more.

Wow you look amazing.

Got a hot date?

I'm going shopping.

Where, at the
"Millionaire Matchmaker?"

I just threw
this together.

Well honey, you can
throw it my way.

I don't do felons.

Really?

Well then that's the
only thing you don't do.

I just spent the last hour
fixing the turnstile

on your bedroom door.

You know it's burned out
from all the traffic.

I'm laughing
on the inside.

Don't hold it in,
you might explode.

That was a joke,
some people laugh.

Yeah, I forgot,
mummies are rust.

I don't even know
why I wrote this but

it just came out of me.

I don't know.

Hey, you know Mike and I,

we're working on a new
song last night.

You're telling me
this because?

It's about you.

Why?

It's cheaper than therapy.

Dial the number
in the pain.

But then the circus
starts again.

Don't touch that phone,
let it die.

You know I like to
watch you squirm,

you know what I mean?

I don't know why.

Hate my weakness,
it ain't me.

Must let you go,
but can't break free.

A twisted love straight
from the day two.

I've been super-glued.

Super-glued to you.

Must leave your space.

Must stay clear.

Cannot let you too near.

You're kryptonite,
a lighted fuse.

Since I met you,
I'm just confused.

I feel like the walking dead.

With a zombie heart
and you in my head.

And I ain't been
so low so long.

My life's become
a country song.

That's better than the
other word, all right.

We should do that.

Just empty rooms,
the phone don't ring.

No videos,
no Whatsapp ping.

The Twitter feed of me
and you is all dried up,

I know it's true.

You caught me in
your laser beam.

You seared my brain,
my heart still screams.

Don't want to be
alone again.

But here I am,
feeling insane.

I feel like the waking dead.

With a zombie heart
and you in my head.

And I ain't been
so long so low.

My life's become
a country song.

I don't know who I've become.

I'm so confused, want
to feel like numb.

And I dream of what
might have been.

I'm feeling so confused again.

I'm feeling so confused again.

Here is a Euro, Tony.

Call someone who cares.

Wow.

Hey Tina, Missis Finelli,
why are you having me paint

these walls again?

I mean the color
is perfectly fine.

Why are you wasting
my time like that?

Why does a dog
lick his privates?

Because he can.

Excuse me, Mr. Brown, Daddy.

Yes, yes, that would be me.

I have a question.

Why did you name me Lola?

Like Lola Finelli,

it's like a cheap
nightclub Las Vegas act.

You're lucky, your mother
wanted to call you Lodmela.

When I was a boy
in the 70's,

Lola Falana was the
hottest thing on wheels.

She was a big star
in Las Vegas,

but I can tell you she
sure did not work cheap.

And you my darling,
before you even ask,

you were named after
the great Lena Horne,

one of the best
singers of all time.

Look at this color,
this is unbelievable.

Dad, they're both black.

So what?

We're not.

I wouldn't be
so sure of that.

You know Nonna
is from Sicily.

And like my buddy Mike always
says "It's just like a hop,

skip and a jump to
Africa from there.

Yeah, we got to dance.

Please tell me that it
was love at first glance.

Please tell me that
I still have a chance.

Please tell me that
we are going to dance.

Going to dance,
dance, dance.

Going to dance,
dance, dance.

We've got to break
this hypnotic trance.

You and me are stuck
in this broken romance.

We got to dance.

We got to dance yeah.

D-D-D-D-Dance.

I got to dance.

D-D-D-D-Dance.

You got to dance.

We want to dance.

D-D-D-D-Dance.

I love to dance.

D-D-D-D-Dance.

I got to dance.

D-D-D-Dance.

You got to dance.

Alrighty.

Here we go.

Oh, oh no.

There.

We got this.

I need to think.

Here we go.

Oh no.

This is impossible.

Look at this mess.

You're fired.

You're fired.

You're fired.

You can't fire me.

I mean slaves
have to be sold.

You're a mess you baby.

Ow.

What are you doing?

Don't whack your sister.

Don't even think
about it Jailbird.

Tony, how did this happen?

Well I was working
on a new song and

I started to dance
a little bit.

You know you could
see it as modern art.

No!!

It could happen to anyone.

No, not anyone.

Just you.

You again making
a mess of my life.

Again.

Why did I agree to this?

Because you love me.

You wanna marry me again.

Because you think I'm sexy
and you want my body.

I'd rather have my teeth
drilled without Novocain.

That can be arranged.

Please you guys,
knock it off.

Help him clean up.

Tina, are you coming?

I'm gonna cook.

I made pasta.

Tempting, but I have
to watch my figure.

Oh come on, you
eat like a bird.

A vulture.

Tina, come, you got
to eat something.

You need a little
meat on your bones.

Ma, knock it off already.

She's on a liquid
diet, blood.

Tony.

Ignore him, Bea.

The rest of the world does.

Tina, you know you
are always welcome.

Like the black plague.

Tony, your working clothes
arrived this morning.

Here.

Very funny.

I'm laughing on the inside.

Dad, give me a hand,
would you?

From prison to
being a janitor,

to now starring in
big budget musical.

Your manager
must be thrilled.

Yeah, well you know Jürgen.

I got my family, you know,
then there is Jürgen.

We've been together since
the beginning of my career.

He's sort of like,
he's like the brother

I never really had.

When, you know, when
he got out of prison

he helped me rebuild
everything.

Does he motivate you?

Or do you motivate him?

How does it work
between you two?

No, No, No, you
got that all wrong.

See Jürgen is like that
rabbit on television,

you know with the
batteries in the back,

it just keeps going,
and going, and going.

Actually he's more like
a mosquito, you know,

flying around your face
and don't leave you alone.

He's like relentless.

Sometimes I like
to just give him.

I love Jürgen,
really I do.

He's in a class by himself.

And sometimes I'd like to put
him on a planet by himself.

Come on.

Come on.

Get out of my face
with that thing.

I'm starving.

What the f*** is your
Problem, Finelli?

It ain't my fault that
I got such an un-f******

believable metabolism.

I just look at that
and I gain weight.

You shovel it in,
and nothing happens.

It ain't fair.

Fair?

Nobody ever said life is
f**** fair, you stupid,

f****, singing,
son-of-a b***.

You know, with that
mouth of yours,

I can't take you anywhere.

You gotta knock it off.

B****, with that
big-ass gut of yours,

the only f**** thing
I could book you

at is at a f**** Weight
Watchers Convention.

You got to lose
some f**** weight.

Is there an echo in here?

You sound just like Tina.

You need a makeover.

And you need a therapist.

I ain't kidding.

Neither am I.

Tony, that's not f****
6-pack, it's a keg.

That ain't no f****
pushup either.

Okay, Mister Wise Guy,

if you think you can do it
better, please be my guest.

Oh yeah, I'll show
you how it's done.

This is how you do pushups.

You see that?

Yeah, look at that.

Ain't that something.

You fat bastard.

Give me that.

You're a two-faced
liar, Jürgen

and I hate two-faced people.

I'd smack you silly,

but I don't know which
face to slap first.

I know you're angry
at me, I deserve it.

But Tony is really down
and it's all my fault.

Somehow that
doesn't surprise me.

Come on, I'll make
it worth your while.

I'm an honest woman now.

I'm married.

What?

You got f**** married?

What a waste.

I guess half the sailors
in Hamburg must be on

antidepressants now.

You've always been a liar,
a cheat and a scoundrel,

but you're still a charmer.

Eva, I warned you
not to hire over.

Oh my god even when
I hear the word over,

it makes my skin crawl.

I could just wipe it.

Jürgen, meet my left
hand, Phoebe Tension.

The name speaks for itself.

Meow.

You must be a computer whiz.

You just turned my
hardware to software.

Pity, but you would
have liked that Kelly.

So please would you
do something about

the mongrel behind the bar.

Otherwise I need to
call the S.W.A.T. team

to swipe away his remains
from the sidewalk.

Phoebe.

Eve, wait, we're just getting
comfortable here, right?

Save your breath Jürgen,

you'll need it to blow
up your next date.

What about Tony?

Come on give me
something here.

"La Cage", which role?

Zaza.

Tony in drag?

He'll kill me.

Tell him to get in line.

It's an amazing part and
I need a great singer.

I think he could do it.

Besides, George has
already been cast.

You know you're quite lucky
I lost my "Zaza" this morning.

I can't do drag.

Me?

I'd be the ugliest
woman who ever lived.

I know the ugliest
woman who ever lived

in the biblical sense.

You're not even close.

Come on.

Get dressed.

You're scary.

Hey, forget it.

It ain't going to happen.

What the f*** is
problem, Finelli?

We need this gig.

I ain't wearing no dress.

Don't b***** me.

It ain't the dress.

You're f**** scared.

I spent15 years in Moabit.

I ain't scared of nothing.

But a f**** dress.

Let me tell you something,

I don't have a lot of
respect for almost no one.

But I've always
respected you.

Don't take that
away from me.

Get in the dress
and let's go.

You know, I really
need a job,

but this ain't gonna happen.

I mean, what are
people going to think?

No f**** way.

If you bail, I quit.

You're gonna quit because
of a stupid dress?

No.

I'm gonna quit
over a stupid you.

I mean all those years,
you faced everything.

The German CIA, Tina,
Mr. Big, your family,

your Kids, and you never
back down, not once.

I ain't gonna let you
start that shit now.

Jorge, darling,
start again.

Try not to move
your hip so much.

You're not a drag queen.

I've waited 60 years
to do drag, Eva.

Don't ruin my fun now.

A little glitter never
hurt anybody's career.

Just ask Cher.

Got me a fur, it's cold.

Let's go.

Stop walking so fast.

These shoes are
killing my feet.

Okay, wait, I got to
get into character now.

You know why?

You don't even know what
the f*** you're talking about.

Hey dude, you got a problem?

Hey.

That guy just
grabbed my ass.

Tony wait.

That guy grabbed my butt.

I know, I know.

Just calm down man.

Keep your eyes on
the fucking prize.

We're gonna do this.

Come on, it's here.

Just get in.

They call me Cuba Pete.

I'm the king of
the rumba beat.

You're a vision.

Oh my.

What an amazing outfit.

You think I could
borrow it some time?

Sure.

Why not?

Wow.

You're very tall.

I'm a big girl now.

What were you before?

You're funny.

Jürgen, you didn't
tell me he's so funny.

Oh!

I'm so rude.

This is my husband, Jorge.

Jorge, this is Jürgen
and Tony Finelli

or should I say
The Lady Chablis?

So you're the guy who made
an honest woman out of Eva?

I'm Cuban, not a miracle worker.

Tony Finelli?

Do you happen to
know a Pete Finelli?

Yeah, that's my father.

That's amazing.

What a coincidence.

Your dad and I were
in the army together.

Really?

Yeah, we were
stationed in Wiesbaden.

I haven't seen him
in nearly 50 years.

Yeah well he lives here
in Berlin with my mother.

Surprise.

Surprise.

Excuse me, I got to
take this call.

Be back in a minute.

You've gotta give me
his phone number.

I'm gonna give him a call.

Yeah, sure.

But you know just
between you and me,

before you contact him,

maybe want to go easy on
the glitter eye shadow.

That's like the pot calling
the kettle black,

don't you think?

Yeah, that's right.

Tony, your parents always
come up in your stories.

We are very close.

I mean they live with me.

Actually now that
I think about it,

maybe I am a masochist.

How did your parents react to
you having to go to prison?

Did they visit you?

I think if my mother
could have figured out

how to put a file
inside a meatball,

I would have been out
of prison a lot sooner.

You know, growing up,

my parents were very,
very strict.

I had to be home at 11.

I had chores, I had
curfew, you know,

the whole nine yards.

Actually, when I think
about it, being in prison

was not all that different
than my childhood,

except maybe for the showers.

I always thought my
parents were very

conservative people.

But you know they
surprised me

how open-minded and
tolerant they could be.

Jorge, come on in

Pete, good to see you.

Bea will be out in a moment.

Okay.

Whoa.

You're like
nine feet tall.

Funny, Tony asked me
the same thing.

Like father, like son.

Let me take that.

Step right in
the parlor there.

This is Bea's mother.

The kids call her Nonna.

Mio piacere, Nonna.

Where you going, Ma?

Sto scappando
prima che il nano

e il gigante provino
a mangiarmi.

Good to see you, Pete.

It's been nearly 50 years.

Jorge, I'm so sorry.

I'm a little late.

Great to see you.

You look wonderful.

Thank you, and you're
handsome as ever.

Wow.

Hello Bea.

I'm Eva.

Nice to meet you.

What the f*** is
wrong with you man?

Okay, I never meant anything,

one like him/her/it,
whatever, you know.

That's my friend Eva.

It is a SHE,
you stupid f***.

She's not only
super beautiful,

she's also a super
top professional.

That's Ricky Ricardo,
her husband, I guess.

Babaloo.

Anyway, get your f****
act together,

and get this f**** job.

Don't you embarrass me.
Sorry man.

Yeah, yeah.

Here she comes.

Tony, are you ready?

Yeah.

What a question,
He's just ever ready.

Right Tony?

Eva, is your cell guy here,

because I want to give
him Tony's tracks.

I know you can sing, Tony.

Everybody knows you can sing.

Now, show me you
can play the part.

Play the track please.

I know who I am.

I'm not your...

Stop.

I don't believe you.

What are you?

I man, you're singing
"I am what I am"

but what are you?

Well I could say
the same to you.

What's wrong, Tony?

Everything. Everything.

I, I'm here but I, I uh, I
don't recognize myself.

I don't know how
to relate to this.

When I was little,

I used to look in the
mirror every day.

I stood there for hours,

because I didn't recognize
the person who I saw.

In my mind, in my
heart and in my soul,

I was someone who was
completely different.

That's what Zaza feels as well.

I think, I think my
corset is way too tight.

I gotta pee.

Where's the bathroom?

In the hall to the left.

Need any help?

No, no.

I'm good. I'm good.

Thanks.

I'll get it.

Do you think you learned
anything from all

those years in prison?

When you are sitting
in a little cell

there is nowhere to run.

I've been running my whole life.

I think performers,
we're all running.

You know, we run
away from ourselves,

we run to bury ourselves
in some character.

Tony Finelli, becoming
a philosopher.

Who would have thunk?

Just goes to show, you
wait long enough,

miracles happen.

But when you're in prison,

there is nobody there but you.

So you better like yourself.

You better make friends
with who you are,

cause if you don't you
ain't long for this world.

When I first met Eva,

something inside
of me "clicked."

I had never met a
woman like her.

Me, neither.

The next day, I went home
and I told the kids,

then I asked Manuela
for a divorce.

You know Pete, we build
our own prisons.

When I saw how Eva
have freed herself,

I knew I had to change my life.

And your wife, your kids?

Did that seem like
prison to you?

Pete, we don't pick who we love.

We just love.

At first, it was
tough with the kids,

but at the end of the day,
they see that I am happy,

and the kinds want
me to be happy.

For Manuela it was tough.

We had been married
over 40 years.

Now we see each other
with the kids.

Time really heals
all wounds Pete.

Except that one.

I'd like to give that
Vampire a garlic enema.

So, let me get this straight.

You married to a German
woman, you had kids,

you got divorced.

You were born with a boy's body,

and now you are the most, most,

most woman I have ever seen.

This is just like an
episode of Oprah.

I'm so happy you're here.

Have some more cheesecake?

No, no, no, no, no.

Honey, if I have another piece,

my Spanx will need Spanx.

Nonsense, my angel,
you are a goddess.

Thank you for your hospitality.

You are lovely.

So are you, dear.

I hope we do this again.

Pete, I would really
love to have you and

Be as my guests in the theater.

Can I invite you
to opening night?

We'll have to see.

It's a bit difficult with Nonna.

It's like having a puppy,

except every time I
bring her to the pound,

they keep shipping
her back to us.

He just loves to joke.

We'd love to come.

Can I wear something sparkly?

I insist.

And if you need anything,
just let me know.

You can lend something of mine.

Okay.

Pete, it was so
lovely to meet you.

Tony is an awful lot like you.

Like father, like
son, always smiling.

I was really embarrassed
walking over here

dressed like this.

Actually I wanted to die.

Why?

You wore costumes before.

Yes, but I am so
ugly as a woman.

We do wonders with wigs
and makeup, believe me.

Did you get beat up a lot?

There are many ways
to hurt a person,

that don't just
involve hitting them.

I probably know them all.

At the end of the day,
being me was more

important than anything
anyone else could say or do.

Can I ask you a question?

You just did.

Don't be a wise guy, girl.

I'm trying to be serious here.

What's your question?

Was it worth it?

Are you happy?

Like everybody, I mean
I have my good days

and my bad days, but
yes, I am happy.

And, before you ask, yes,
I would do it again.

You would?

I used to stand hour after
hour in front of the mirror.

I began to project an image of

how I wanted to look one day.

Back then, it just seemed
like a far off dream.

But I held on to that
dream, day after day,

year after year, operation
after operation

until one morning, I woke up.

I looked in the mirror
and I finally saw me,

the way I had always
dreamed I should be.

I know all about
holding on to a dream.

I spent 15 years in prison.

And every day, I dreamed
about what my life would be

like when I finally got out.

And now here I am.

I just somehow didn't
imagine it in this dress.

But pink is such a
good color for you.

You think?

I think it makes me
look a bit "hippy."

Don't get me started.

I'm just a big hearted
girl with hips to match.

Who would have thunk we
got so much in common?

Can I, can I give you a hug?

If you like.

Jeez, you're like Dolly Parton.

I mean, how do you stand
up with those things?

I like to call them
Mary Kate and Ashley.

These "girls" have
brought me really far.

Are you ready to sing, now?

I don't know.

I feel like the Hindenburg
in pink sequins.

You know if I get this part,

I think I need to lose a
little bit of weight.

Somewhere, deep down
inside of me is a

very thin person
waiting to break free.

Really?

Only one?

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Play the track.

One second, one second.

Listen, I'm really sorry
for the way I behaved.

Sometime I'm an idiot.

Don't be sorry.

Be brilliant.

Hi Buddy, what's
your name again?

Nice eye shadow, by the way.

Jorge Alberto Gutierréz.

D***, not just Jorge?

You gotta give me
all three names?

What are you, Spanish?

Do you want some Vodka?

No, I'm a rum kind of man.

I know who I am.

I'm not your shy,
meek, entertainment.

See, my song is loud.

Come and sing along.

Don't be complacent.

Yes my life, though I'm witty
I still have my problems.

In my life, it's
enough if I begin,

I begin to solve them.

Cheers man.

Come ring the alarm.

He's really good.

Use all your charm.

Listen, you can't stop this man.

I know who I am and when I
look and I see a winner.

When they start to look at me.

Some say I'm fat.

I know I'm thinner.

Yes my life's full of highest
high and deeper sorrows.

Live now because...

It's a shame, really.

What the f*** are
you talking about?

The part is already cast.

Eva found some German TV star
to do it just this morning.

You'll never stop me because
I know just who I am.

F***, f***, f***.

Your manager has the foulest
mouth in show business.

Why is his favorite
expression is the f-bomb?

You know what my
mother always says?

Love me.

Love my dog.

What can I tell you?

I wanted a Rottweiler
for a manager.

Instead I get a "Shit*-zu"
with potty mouth.

Daddy, can you please ask
Jürgen not to swear so much.

I met him at the Drug Store.

He was cursing at
the pharmacist.

It was really embarrassing.

Hey I was just f**** talking.

There was no problem at all.

You know I told you, you
got to clean up your act.

Cursing is the crutch of the
intellectually challenged.

See?

You know why I curse, right?

Because I f**** want to.

Because I f**** can and
because I don't give a f***.

Come on.

And THIS is what represents
you to the world.

No wonder you're still
working as our Super.

Hey wait up, Genius Girl.

I need your help.

Oh, looking to expand
your vocabulary?

No, I'm trying to
convince your father

to get a freaking makeover.

Tell him he looks
like the morning

after the freaking night before.

Maybe our cunning linguist
is on to something, Daddy.

Whoa, cunning
linguist, holy s***.

The last time I heard that,

it meant something
totally different.

Hey, get your mind
out of the gutter.

It was a joke.

Hey, there are 2 million
chicks outside.

This coop is off-limits.

I'm not joking.

Two hits, I hit you, you
hit the floor, E basta...

Don't worry Daddy.

I never date Senior Citizens.

Ouch.

That hurt.

By the way, Dad,

maybe you could "update"
your look a little.

You think?

It's a bit like "Married
with Children".

Tony, did you miss me?

Yeah, you keep ducking
when I throw the knives.

You know, I was very naive
when I married you.

And I was very high.

Every door was open for me.

That's because people are
happy to see you leave.

Tony, why are you trying
to play a comedian?

Well, the part of
blood-sucking ice queen

was already taken by you.

How many times do I have to
flush before you're gone?

You're lucky ugly
ain't a felony,

otherwise you'd be in for life.

Lola is very upset with you.

What did you do?

I kind of lost it when I
saw her kissing that guy.

You keep this up, you'll
lose more than that,

[Foreign Language].

Huh?

I'll make sure you are
singing soprano for the

rest of your life, jailbird.

Just stay away from
Lola and Lena.

You destroy
everything you touch.

I'm just trying to
be their father.

That's like a shark trying
to be a vegetarian.

You're the only man eater here.

Tony, you are a special
kind of stupid.

If they give prizes for
dumb, you'd have an Oscar.

Oh, you're very funny.

Let me...

D***.

Man, if I could just
harness all that energy

between the two of you, I
could light up Germany.

Probably the planet.

She really hates me.

Love and hate are two
sides of the same coin.

Since when did you
become a philosopher?

I had a lot of f****
time in the joint.

I was watching that Dr.
Phil a lot.

He's actually a
pretty smart guy.

Anyway, come on, we gotta go.

Wait a minute.

I didn't have shower yet.

You don't need to, I'm
bringing you to Helga.

Helga?

You must be ze fat boy.

Nice to meet you, too.

Tony, this is Helga Brennfeuer.

She's an old friend of
mine and I want her

to be your personal trainer.

What?

You know Helga, after
15 years in Moabit,

I told you, he's
looking, you know,

a little "rough
around the edges."

You gotta get him
back in shape fast.

You will have to pay me more.

This is a big job.

Hey, wait a minute.

Helga you can do it.
I know you can.

Easier to deadlift a gorilla.

Hey, come here.

Don't tell me that this
is one of your conquests.

Oh my god.

Long story.

Lots of tequila.

Hey, why aren't you cursing?

She hates cursing.

She told me she would
kick my ass if I do.

Tony I'm scared of her.

I ain't afraid of her...

Oh yeah, trust me,

you didn't see her on the
trapeze in her bedroom.

Bam.

I know Jürgen means well.

And I really thank
you for your time,

but I don't need no
personal trainer.

No, you need a Body Transplant.

Okay, Listen, Helmut.

I don't know how many
steroids you swallowed,

but back in New York
where I come from,

chick don't talk
to guys like that.

Put on the gloves.

I ain't boxing with
no a girl/thing.

Put on the gloves and
step into the ring.

If you win, you're free.

If I win, we train.

You don't want to box with me.

I used to be a boxer.

You used to be a man, too.

But now, you are just jello.

Deal or no deal?

Give me those gloves.

Come on.

It's Tony "The Tiger"

Finelli battling Helga
"The Hun" Brennfeuer.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
fasten your seatbelts.

It's going to be a bumpy night.

These two titans of the
ring going mano a mano.

Come on fatso Finelli.

I ain't fat.

I got big bones.

So does a whale.

Get up Daddy.

Come on Daddy.

Wake up, come on Daddy, get up.

Why, what is it?

You fell asleep.

I fell asleep, I know.

I'm kind of knocked out.

Get up.

Come on big boy.

Who are you?

Are you ready to work now?

Deal's a deal.

Go, go, go, faster.

Go Finelli, go.

What are you doing?

Do you want to want
to lose weight?

Would you stop
blowing that thing.

Go, go, go, go.

Ow.

Again, go, go, go.

Are you a man?

Come on, fight Finelli, fight.

Hey.

Dad, can I come in?

Yeah, wait a minute.

I'll be right with you.

Yeah, one second.

Yeah.

Hi honey.

Come in.

I wanted to apologize.

Oh no, no.

Sweetie you don't
need to apologize.

I need to apologize.

Come here, sit down.

I have to interrupt you.

You said something earlier
on in the interview.

You said, "I can't forgive
myself because my daughter

Lena grew up without a father."

Tony, the world
has forgiven you.

You're back on top again.

How important is
forgiveness for you?

Do you think you'll ever be
able to forgive yourself?

I don't know.

You know, I was thinking
about everything

you said was right.

You're a grown woman and you
have to live your life.

It's just that, sometimes,
when I look at you,

I still see you like
my Christmas Present.

What do you mean?

Your first Christmas, I
come home after a concert,

and you mother had lit
the Christmas tree.

She put you in this
beautiful blue dress.

You almost had no hair,

but then you had a
bow in your hair.

And she set you in
this silver hat box

underneath the tree.

You were the most beautiful
thing I had ever seen.

You and your sister are
the greatest presents

I could have ever been given.

I didn't know that story.

No, how could you?

That was just something
between your mom and me.

I don't think I ever
loved your mother

more than on that day.

You used to love each
other a lot, didn't you?

I can't speak for her, but yeah.

I loved your mom a lot.

And we both love you and
Lena more than anything.

By the way, you were
right about Helmut.

What did he do?

I'll kill him.

No, nothing like that.

He just decided I needed
bigger boobs or whatever.

What?

Come on Lola,
honey, look at you?

You're beautiful.

You are perfect exactly
the way you are, exactly.

If some guy wants you
to change for him,

change the guy.

Actually, we have to go.
Jürgen called.

We have to be downtown
in like 10 minutes.

Okay.

You go ahead, I'll be right up.

I got to put my shoes on.

Well, you're supposed
to be best.

So what do you f**** think??

It's impossible.

You can't make a silk
purse from a sow's ear.

Did he just call me a sow?

Technically not, but he
did refer to you as the

auditory receptacle
of a female pig

Oh My God.

Einstein, do you have
any sense of humor?

It was just a saying.

You look fabulous, darling.

Who's your stylist?

My mom helps me out a lot.

That b****.

I hate her.

Join the club.

and Daddy stop it.

Ingy, we've got to
update Tony's look.

So do do that voodoo..."

That you do so well.

It's so frustrating.

All the good ones play
for the wrong team.

and We know.

I hate shopping.

That's your problem, Mr. F.

Ooh, F, I like that.

But I guess that's obvious.

I use the "F" word a lot.

We know.

Actually, I love ex-cons.

So "Prison Break."

You got the wrong
f**** hardware.

Sorry man.

Hardware.

Are you trying to
tell me something?

So many things come to
my wicked little mind.

Here's the proof.

God gave men a
brain and a penis,

but only enough blood
for one of them to

function at a time.

You are a verbal virtuoso.

Lola I'm shocked.

A word with four syllables
and alliteration.

A litter of what?

No, no, no.

We've got to make
you attractive to

a modern audience, Tony.

Perhaps a paper bag?

Just kidding.

Come with me dear, and
welcome to the 21st century.

You go with these first dear.

Oh my god.

When did that happen?

No, no, no, no.

Jürgen no.

This is not me.

Well of course not dear.

This has style, you have none.

And if you don't knock it off,

you ain't going
to have no teeth.

Please ask King Kong
to calm down, Jürgen.

I'm just trying to help.

Listen, I'm 53 years old.

I'm not 35.

All this crap is MTTBB.

What's that?

Men trying to be boys.

You know.

Penis Car.

Fake Tan, 25 year
old girlfriend.

I don't want to be 25 again.

Been there.

Done that.

You, Ding Dong.

Ingolf.

Get me something you know,
a little fancy but not,

hey that one.

Get me that.

I want that one.

Jürgen, girls, pack up,
let's get out of here.

I had enough.

Remember what you said
back to me at home?

What?

You're perfect just
the way you are.

Yeah?

Well same goes for you Daddy?

You're sweet.

You, get dressed, let's go.

Your new show is called
"Love Will Never Die".

Love seems to be a re-occurring
theme in your music,

in your stage performances,

even when you're on television.

Define for me, no,
for our viewers,

what does love mean to you?

Well my mother always
says, food is love.

I guess you could say I've
always had too much love

--- at least at
the dinner table.

The rest of my
life, not so much.

What, how do you define love?

That's a tough one.

Go, let's take
everything to the table.

The food is getting cold.

Come on.

Bella.

Attenzione.

Come on, Nonna.

You don't have time for
Grandma now that you're big?

Lola, when are you going to
tell me about your boyfriend?

I don't have a
boyfriend, Grandma.

No boyfriend.

When I was your age,
let me tell you,

oh, do you play for
the other team?

Bea, stop it.

Sorry, Lola.

You're grandma's been watching
too much Ellen Degenerate.

De Generes.

I try to be modern and
this is the thanks I get.

There's problem, Grandma.

I just haven't met
the right guy yet.

But when I do, you'll meet him.

And you'll bring him
over and I'll cook.

Ow.

What the f*** is
wrong with you?

Nothing.

I'm sorry.

I'll take it easy on
you the rest of

the f**** night,
okay.

Come on.

You say f*** a lot.

I don't just say it.

Hi Tina.

What is it this time,
Jürgen -- another,

uh, Daughter?

Aunt?

Cousin?

Hi, I'm Marie, his, uh,
what was that again?

Niece.

Yeah, niece.

Nice.

A brain surgeon as well.

What does Grandma
always say?

"Food is love."

What's that funny smell?

Nonna.

What's that smell?

Nonna.

Stop it Pete.

Lena, honey,
that's garlic.

We're Italian.

Food without garlic
is like a day

without sunshine.

Or gas.

Oops.

I shoot.

Tesoro mio.
Che bello.

Come ti chiami.

What did she say?

She don't remember
your name.

She don't
remember my name.

Yesterday, she tried
to chase me

out of the apartment.

She thought I was
the mailman, again.

Lower the boom,
there we go.

Really, I hear
you knocking

but no one's home.

Stop that Pete,
that's my mother.

Come on Tony,
come help me.

Yes mom.

What a mess you
made outside, Tony.

I think they knocked
you on your head

when you were born.

Ma.

Stop with him, Pete.

He's an artist,
he's not a handyman.

Why do you always
defend him?

Why are you yelling?

Because I only
got 2 gears,

"The Godfather"
and "Loud."

Stop yelling
at your father.

Now come on.

I'm not yelling,
my voice projects,

and you should talk.

You know we're banned
from Swarovski

Stores worldwide, because
your voice exploded

an entire display cabinet.

I am very resonant.

You know you get
your voice from me.

I think I got hearing
damage from you.

And I got agita from you.

I'm getting a headache.

Huh?

Come on guys, can't
you just all get

the f*** along?

Who asked you?

Butana.

Okay everybody,
shut the f*** up.

Jürgen is in the house.

And this is, uh, Marie.

Your mouth is
like a toilet.

Why don't you put
your tongue in it

and flush it.

Ma, what are you doing?

He's the reason
you went to prison.

How can you be so stupid?

Don't call him stupid.

That's my job.

It ain't so simple.

You guys don't
know everything.

That's what I'm trying
to f**** tell you, Bea.

Are you cursing
at my wife?

No f**** way.

Are you cursing at me?

Disgraziato.
Get outta my house.

Che bellissima.

O Dio.

Salvatemi!!

Vedo molti angeli.

Oh my God.

It's Grandma.

Grandma, grandma.

Ma.

Don't look at the angels.

Stay with me.

Please, don't die Nonna.

You can fart on
me all you want.

Maybe you're not made
of ice after all.

Nonna, I'm sorry for
losing my temper,

for thinking you're
playing hockey

with a warped puck.

Well, basically, for
just about everything.

Pete.

What?

If she kicks off, I don't
want her to say bad

things to the
guy upstairs.

I might need some help,
when it's my turn.

Move please, move.

What are you doing?

Move.
Who is this person

and what is she doing?

I'm a registered nurse.

Signora, mi sente?

Signora?

Le mi sente?

Va tutto bene?

Kiss my f**** ass.

You speak Italian?

Grandma.

I'm not as
dumb as I look.

The nurse didn't look
like that the last time

I was at the doctor.

She sure raised my
g***** temperature

last night.

Oh.

Oh.

My god.

Oh Jeez.

Something crawled up
inside her and died.

Nonna come on,
I'll help you up.

I'll help you.

Voi Pazzi.
Non lottare.

I don't like it
when you fight.

Yeah, yeah grandma.

No worries, come on.

Let's get you up.

Come on grandma.

Jeez, what a stink.

That's unbelievable.

Jürgen, shall we
bury the hatchet?

Really, of course, Pete.

Apology accepted,
Finelli Style.

Dad are you nuts?

Jürgen, wait a minute.

Stop.

Not my hair.

No, not my food.

Not my food.

I love that.

There you go.

You know what,
now I'm hungry.

Let's eat.

Let's eat.

Well I cooked.

What an
extraordinary life.

I mean what an
amazing story.

And you really
look the part.

It's always a pleasure
to talk with you.

And thank you for taking
time to talk to us

before your big
opening night.

There's just one more
question that I have

before I leave.

Tony, we've all read
about your divorce

and all the turmoil in
your personal life.

Tony the singer is having
and all-time career high.

But, what about
Tony, the man?

Is there a happy
ending for him as well?

Is there someone special
in your life you'd like

to tell us all about?

That's very cheeky.

I ought to bite your
neck for that question.

Of course, I can't
answer that.

Barbara, you know
you and I,

we got a very special
relationship and I share

a lot with you, but, as
stupid as this is going

to sound, I like to keep
my private life private.

Jürgen, would you
leave us alone?

I want to talk to Tony.

You, sit.

Lola wants you're here,
otherwise I never would

have ever laid
eyes on you again.

Lola loves me.

I love her.

I love Lena.

That's why I'm here.

They kept me going.

I thought of them
every single day.

Such a great
Daddy you are.

You really hate me,
don't you?

Being married to you was
like a 3 ring circus.

Engagement Ring, Wedding
Ring and Suffering.

You're Russian.

You should be
used to that.

I did what I had to do.

What you had to do was to
protect me and the girls.

Instead, you became the
"Prisoner of Alcatraz."

I did what I had to do.

So did I.

Now let's get
back to business.

You can have the Super's
job but I can only

pay you what I paid
the last guy.

That's all I can afford.

Come on.

Look around you.

Look at this place.

Who paid for all of this?

Who paid for these?

I mean those things
come with a guarantee.

I told you, I did
what I had to do.

I have a sponsor
who donated these.

He must not know you.

Certainly, I was getting
nothing from you.

But I got
something from you.

Took me 3 rounds of
penicillin to

get rid of it.

Are you insinuating?

Tony, I've seen your
little black book.

And I've seen your
little black book.

It's a size of a
freaking encyclopedia.

I mean they had to build
a wing on the Library of

Congress just to
put that in there.

Haven't you
hurt us enough?

I don't want to hurt you.

I would never
hurt the girls.

Coulda, woulda,
shoulda, but you did.

The old fire
is still there.

Shop's Closed, Tony.

Forever.

No.

I'm not so sure.

See, I'm still the
same man I used to be.

The one you fell in love
with all those years ago.

You liked it
and you know it.

You're a dreamer, Tony.

Give it up.

It's over.

You're over.

You ruined everything
for me, for you,

for all of us.

No one wants to hear a
53 year old, overweight,

washed up, convicted
felon sing.

You're just
kidding yourself.

It's all I have left.

I lost you.

I lost the kids.

I lost my name, my
money, my reputation.

I lost everything.

All I got is that dream.

And if I give up on that,
I might as well be dead.

That can be arranged.

Bite me would you.

Bite me?

That's the best
you can do?

Oh, grow up, Tony.

Just finally grow up.

You're nothing.

You're no one.

You're nothing.

You're no one.

Tony, I know this is
really f**** small.

But this is all I was
able to get on

short notice.

We got to start
somewhere, right?

Yeah, you're right.

I rehearsed the
band this afternoon.

They're ready
for you man.

Okay.

Go get them.

Good evening Ladies
and Gentlemen,

we have a very
special guest tonight.

He hasn't been
onstage in 15 years,

but now he's back.

So please, welcome
Mr. Tony Finelli.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

It's been a
really long time.

It's nice to be back, and
thank you all for coming.

I wrote a new song
just for tonight.

It's called
"Here I Am Again."

I hope you like it.

Okay, hit it boys.

You're nothing,
you're no one.

That's all I ever heard.

I wondered will
it ever change?

Running in circles,
year after year.

No exit, but who
was to blame?

I looked in the mirror,
fingers point at me.

The dawn's come time
to change this game.

And not it's time I say
to you that here I am.

The same man that
I used to be.

I've had my
escape you see.

Now that's let me pay.

Here I am.

The same man that
I used to be.

Now everything has
changed for me.

Yes, I paid the
price I had to pay,

but finally found my way.

I am here to
stay forever.

I was down but
I stood up today.

My fears are locked away.

So listen when I
say, here I am.

The same man that
I used to be.

I found my escape you see
and I have set me free.

Here I am.

The same man that
I used to be.

Now everything has
changed for me.

Yes, here,
here I am again.

Yes, here I am again.

Here I am again.

It's how it should be.

I won't say goodbye.

I will take your hand.

You'll be in my arms.

Love will never die.

You're the one for me.

There's a purpose
in my step.

There's a power
in my hands.

I've known my share
of fear and doubt,

but wouldn't
change my plans.

Never looked to where
you're turn my back.

I never cut and ran.

I stood my ground
and fought.

Nearly 25 years
after he shocked

the entertainment world,
with his unexpected arrest.

When it comes to
making bad decisions,

I've always been
first in line.

With his
unexpected arrest,

the voice from
New York is back.

I got a Doctorate
in bad decisions.

That's better, huh?

He had an amazing
singing career,

gone in the
blink of an eye.

We will be talking about
that and much more.

Wait a minute.

I got a gold medal
in stupidity.

That's the best one,
don't you think?

Cut.

Why?

Come on.

The love of your life
gone in a second,

your own flesh and blood.

You left your two
young daughters

all alone for 15 years.

Your money, your career,
your reputation all gone.

What can I say?

When it comes to
stupid decisions,

I got an Oscar.

But you reached
for the impossible,

and now you're
back on top again.

Tell us, how did
you do it?

Maybe some of them
stupid decisions

wasn't so stupid
after all?

And now you have a
blockbuster movie.

What is it all about?

What movie?

What are you
talking about?

Jürgen?

Did we make a movie?

Tony Finelli starring
in "The Finellis" Movie.

Like my father
taught me how.

For the giants
all around me.

Took the hits of
what fall down.

Come to think,
you see me crying.

If I do,
you'll never know.

No matter what,
I keep on trying,

I'm a man that's
how it goes.

I'm a man who walks
in the darkness.

Come a man
who's high with mine.

I tell you, nothing
could ever stop me.

I'm a man.

I'm a man...

Enough with the
food throwing.

[Indiscernible
discussion]

No hard feelings,
come on.

Come on.

I'm a man.

I'm a man.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull