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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,498 --> 00:00:05,499 Wait, what the hell? 2 00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,901 Why are you wearing somebody's old-ass tablecloth? 3 00:00:08,703 --> 00:00:11,438 Oscar's coming over and I broke his heart. 4 00:00:11,472 --> 00:00:14,775 So I feel like, as the dumper, I owe it to the injured party, 5 00:00:14,809 --> 00:00:17,377 i.e. the dumpee, to not flaunt my feminine wiles 6 00:00:17,412 --> 00:00:19,613 in this, his time of need. 7 00:00:19,647 --> 00:00:21,381 Well, mission accomplished. 8 00:00:21,416 --> 00:00:23,383 Why do you even own that? 9 00:00:23,418 --> 00:00:25,419 It was ten years ago, it was an art fair, 10 00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:27,421 I was probably high on kettle corn. 11 00:00:28,223 --> 00:00:30,924 Wait, is all that Oscar's? You know the move here 12 00:00:30,959 --> 00:00:32,059 is to sell what you can and throw the rest 13 00:00:32,093 --> 00:00:33,861 of that crap in the river. 14 00:00:33,895 --> 00:00:35,662 Oh, great. So, then I'll be home, watching the news, 15 00:00:35,697 --> 00:00:37,464 and they'll be dragging a dead body from the river 16 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:38,966 and it'll be wearing Oscar's Imagine Dragons T-shirt? 17 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,234 How will I feel then? 18 00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:43,881 - Wait, isn't this your tablet? - Oh, yeah, 19 00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:45,883 but Oscar used to play Grand Theft Auto on it. 20 00:00:45,917 --> 00:00:48,552 I thought beating up pimps might be good for him right now. 21 00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:51,421 Fine, but he is not getting these brownies that you made. 22 00:00:51,456 --> 00:00:53,457 No, they're chocolate scotcheroos, his favorite. 23 00:00:53,491 --> 00:00:55,793 You're giving him a damn breakup gift basket. 24 00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:57,528 You think I should skip all this and just 25 00:00:57,562 --> 00:00:58,729 read him the haiku I wrote? 26 00:00:58,763 --> 00:01:00,931 Do not... I repeat, do not... 27 00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:02,833 read Oscar a haiku. 28 00:01:02,867 --> 00:01:04,067 You haven't even heard it... 29 00:01:04,102 --> 00:01:06,036 No, oh, eh! 30 00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:08,772 Haikus and scotcheroos. Crazy person. 31 00:01:13,711 --> 00:01:15,646 Hey. 32 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,714 Hey, come on in. 33 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,786 Here. This is all your stuff. 34 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,755 Okay, right to it. 35 00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:28,125 Lemon-scented and ForceFlex. Bougie. 36 00:01:30,061 --> 00:01:31,595 That mine? 37 00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:33,597 Yeah. And-and a few extra things, too. 38 00:01:33,631 --> 00:01:35,599 I-I thought you should have custody of our shared 39 00:01:35,633 --> 00:01:38,535 froyo punch card. Two more and you get a free sundae. 40 00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:40,637 Premium toppings excluded. 41 00:01:40,672 --> 00:01:42,372 Okay. 42 00:01:42,407 --> 00:01:43,674 And in your email you'll be finding a link 43 00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:45,676 to a Spotify breakup playlist. 44 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:47,110 80 minutes of songs that speak to 45 00:01:47,145 --> 00:01:48,779 where your heart is right now. 46 00:01:48,813 --> 00:01:50,514 How much of it is Adele? 47 00:01:50,548 --> 00:01:52,115 Well, I think the right amount. 48 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,750 So, all of it. 49 00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:56,453 Okay. 50 00:01:56,487 --> 00:01:58,789 - Oscar, can we talk? - About what? 51 00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:00,791 Well, you-you know I feel horrible 52 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:02,659 about how this went down. 53 00:02:02,694 --> 00:02:04,962 You feel horrible? 54 00:02:04,996 --> 00:02:06,930 I had to bring back an engagement ring. 55 00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:08,632 The guy looked at me like I was some kind of loser 56 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,601 who got his proposal shot down. 57 00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:13,637 You know why? 'Cause I am. 58 00:02:16,608 --> 00:02:18,108 Love, big, and gorgeous, 59 00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:21,111 a bear's life in the forest, 60 00:02:21,145 --> 00:02:23,680 now, hibernation. 61 00:02:23,715 --> 00:02:25,649 Goodbye. 62 00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:34,024 Oscar heartbroken, 63 00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:37,027 art fair kettle corn yummy, 64 00:02:37,061 --> 00:02:39,529 play, sad playlist, 65 00:02:39,564 --> 00:02:41,098 play. 66 00:02:43,098 --> 00:02:46,598 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 67 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,745 This goes out to all the broken hearts out there. 68 00:02:54,779 --> 00:02:57,114 And all the breakers of those hearts. 69 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,884 And to you, cookie dough ice cream, because you... 70 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,953 are the real hero today. 71 00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,692 ? I've been alone with you ? 72 00:03:08,726 --> 00:03:12,062 ? Inside my mind ? 73 00:03:12,096 --> 00:03:15,632 ? And in my dreams I've kissed your lips ? 74 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,501 ? A thousand times ? 75 00:03:17,535 --> 00:03:19,569 ? I sometimes see you 76 00:03:19,604 --> 00:03:23,507 ? Pass outside my door ? 77 00:03:26,077 --> 00:03:29,012 ? Hello ? 78 00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:32,582 ? Is it me you're looking for? ? 79 00:03:32,617 --> 00:03:35,485 Yes, it is, 'cause we're concerned. 80 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,655 Why? I'm great. I'm great. Ah. 81 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,524 Are you sure? Because you took your lunch break 82 00:03:40,558 --> 00:03:43,794 three hours ago and now you are shotgunning boxed wine 83 00:03:43,828 --> 00:03:45,762 like you just got into Sigma Chi. 84 00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:48,632 I hate seeing you so upset. 85 00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,667 There, there. 86 00:03:50,702 --> 00:03:53,270 Ah, the comfort of a mother's touch. 87 00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:54,938 Brought you a sandwich and fries. Why don't you 88 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:58,875 have some of this and a little less peach moscato? 89 00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:01,545 I don't deserve fries. Fries are for good people, 90 00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:04,581 like Oscar or Jesus or Savannah Guthrie. 91 00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:05,949 With those abs, 92 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,885 there's no way Jesus ate fries. 93 00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:12,089 Randy, did I just throw away my only chance at love 94 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:13,824 and now I'm destined to die alone? 95 00:04:13,858 --> 00:04:17,094 Probably. There, there. 96 00:04:17,128 --> 00:04:19,596 Can you pat me with the hand that doesn't have rings on it? 97 00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,965 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my wedding ring. 98 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,034 I guess you wouldn't understand. 99 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:29,740 Oh, Kat, it-it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. 100 00:04:29,774 --> 00:04:31,975 Get back on your feet and live your life. 101 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,277 - How am I supposed to do that? - Ooh! I don't know. 102 00:04:34,312 --> 00:04:36,013 But maybe first take a shower, 103 00:04:36,047 --> 00:04:38,215 because you smell like cheap wine and sadness. 104 00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:40,984 And just a kiss of B.O. 105 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,986 Yeah, get out of the house. Go get some dinner. 106 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,655 You know, after that shower. 107 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:47,591 Well, who wants to have dinner with me tonight? 108 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:50,093 Oh, tonight? Nicole and I are going on a riverboat cruise. 109 00:04:50,128 --> 00:04:51,895 Carter's working and I have class. 110 00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,964 Sheila and I are going to see Dolly Parton. 111 00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:55,232 But we could skip it. 112 00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:57,734 Shut your stupid little mouth. 113 00:04:57,769 --> 00:04:59,102 I'm sorry, 114 00:04:59,137 --> 00:05:01,671 it's just... it's Dolly. 115 00:05:01,706 --> 00:05:03,106 No, actually, this is better. You know, 116 00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:05,042 I need to get used to being alone again. 117 00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:06,676 Yeah, I'll take myself out to dinner. 118 00:05:06,711 --> 00:05:08,712 There you go. You spent 119 00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:11,048 the first 40 years of your life alone, you can do 40 more. 120 00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:14,184 In a good way. 121 00:05:17,221 --> 00:05:19,156 Hi there. Someone else joining you? 122 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:23,293 Nope, party of one. Or should I say party of fun. 123 00:05:23,327 --> 00:05:25,762 Can I get you something to drink? 124 00:05:25,797 --> 00:05:26,963 Complimentary bread? 125 00:05:26,998 --> 00:05:28,732 I'll take a martini 126 00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:31,201 and bread that tells me I'm pretty. 127 00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:33,937 Complimentary? Wordpl... I'll take the martini. 128 00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:41,635 Ooh. 129 00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:44,604 Cloudy with a 20% chance of rain tomorrow. 130 00:05:44,639 --> 00:05:47,541 Okay. 131 00:05:47,575 --> 00:05:50,210 Software update? Uh, yes, please. 132 00:05:54,248 --> 00:05:55,682 How you two doing tonight? 133 00:05:57,285 --> 00:05:59,119 I like your top. Very Meghan Markle. 134 00:05:59,153 --> 00:06:01,088 Thank you. 135 00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:03,757 Is that the risotto? I was looking at that. 136 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:04,958 How's the mouth feel? 137 00:06:04,993 --> 00:06:06,293 It's good. 138 00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:08,662 Four stars from my table-neighbor. 139 00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:13,633 - Here you go. - Thank you. Oh, 140 00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,102 Oh, she forgot my bread. Guess she's trying 141 00:06:15,136 --> 00:06:17,237 to get her steps in. 142 00:06:17,271 --> 00:06:19,172 Hey, Kitty Kat. 143 00:06:20,742 --> 00:06:22,042 Nick? 144 00:06:22,076 --> 00:06:24,311 He owns the sandwich shop down the street. 145 00:06:24,345 --> 00:06:26,313 So annoying, so full of himself, 146 00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,882 so chiseled and buff. Blech. 147 00:06:28,916 --> 00:06:31,184 Eating by yourself? 148 00:06:31,219 --> 00:06:34,021 - Uh, yes. Taking myself on a little date. - Hm. 149 00:06:34,055 --> 00:06:37,157 I'll take lamest Friday night for 500, Ken. 150 00:06:37,191 --> 00:06:39,259 Uncalled for. 151 00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:41,862 For your information, I'm having a lovely time, and... 152 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:43,697 Why are you sitting down? 153 00:06:43,731 --> 00:06:45,132 Well, 'cause I don't like eating standing up. 154 00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:46,800 Ooh, that a martini? 155 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,969 Uh, it's my-tini. 156 00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:50,904 My-tini? 157 00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:53,140 You know, that kind of wordplay might be why you're alone. 158 00:06:59,113 --> 00:07:00,781 What's up, baby? 159 00:07:00,815 --> 00:07:03,650 Oh, hey. What-what are you doing here? 160 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:06,620 In my home. Alone. 161 00:07:06,654 --> 00:07:09,056 Oh, I spilled cherry syrup on myself at the bar. 162 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,223 Max thought I got stabbed. 163 00:07:10,258 --> 00:07:11,925 That boy is so sheltered. 164 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,561 I mean, I also yelled, "Aah! I got stabbed!" 165 00:07:15,763 --> 00:07:17,130 Anyway, your place is closer than mine, 166 00:07:17,165 --> 00:07:18,598 so I came here to clean up. 167 00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:19,800 Well, how did you get in? 168 00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:20,901 Max gave me a key. 169 00:07:20,935 --> 00:07:22,235 Mm. 170 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:24,004 So, how was art history? 171 00:07:24,038 --> 00:07:26,339 Oh, dull. Two hours of impressionists... 172 00:07:26,374 --> 00:07:28,175 it's blurry, we get it. 173 00:07:28,209 --> 00:07:31,611 Well, uh, maybe I can help liven up your day. 174 00:07:31,646 --> 00:07:33,880 You want to, you know... 175 00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:39,820 Or you can vacuum that couch 176 00:07:39,854 --> 00:07:41,888 because you eat like a first grader at story time. 177 00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:45,092 What if we, uh... 178 00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,993 Right now? 179 00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:48,795 And then I'll vacuum after? 180 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:50,197 Okay. 181 00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:55,302 I'll vacuum now. 182 00:07:58,039 --> 00:08:00,173 So, yeah, Louisville Magazine wants to do an article about me 183 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,075 calling me the charcuterie cutie. 184 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,211 I mean, I didn't come up with it, 185 00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:05,412 but you can tweet me... 186 00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:09,015 @Charcuterie_QT. 187 00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:10,650 I bet you a hundred bucks this guy 188 00:08:10,685 --> 00:08:12,652 doesn't ask a single thing about me. 189 00:08:12,687 --> 00:08:15,222 So, what's going on with you? How are things at the cat caf�? 190 00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:17,357 Well, obviously, I can't pay each of you $100. 191 00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:21,128 But isn't what we have better than money? 192 00:08:21,162 --> 00:08:23,063 Did you just ask about me? 193 00:08:23,097 --> 00:08:25,065 Yeah. How's business? 194 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,967 Good. I mean, 195 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,102 kind of thought by now I'd be in a position 196 00:08:29,137 --> 00:08:32,772 to buy my building, but I did just get a new cat tree. 197 00:08:32,807 --> 00:08:35,408 I'm just gonna smile and pretend that that's not pathetic. 198 00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:36,977 And I'm just gonna smile and pretend like 199 00:08:37,011 --> 00:08:39,112 you're not a giant douche. 200 00:08:39,147 --> 00:08:43,049 I normally suck at comebacks, but that was pretty good, right? 201 00:08:43,084 --> 00:08:45,252 I am at most a medium douche. But, hey, 202 00:08:45,286 --> 00:08:47,721 buying your building would be a good investment. 203 00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:49,923 Yeah. Just, I'm starting to think about retirement. 204 00:08:49,957 --> 00:08:51,992 Plus, I could put a billboard of myself on the roof 205 00:08:52,026 --> 00:08:54,794 that says, "Yo, Louisville, I own this bitch." 206 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:58,331 By the way, where's your boyfriend? 207 00:08:58,366 --> 00:09:00,734 Um, actually, Oscar and I broke up. 208 00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:02,202 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 209 00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:04,037 Hey, relationships are tough. 210 00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:06,273 I thought I'd be on my third wife by now. 211 00:09:06,307 --> 00:09:08,375 You really think three women would marry you? 212 00:09:08,409 --> 00:09:11,411 In my mind, one and three are the same woman. 213 00:09:11,445 --> 00:09:13,880 If I can fool her once, I can fool her twice. 214 00:09:13,915 --> 00:09:15,282 And wife number two 215 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:16,783 would just go back to being the nanny. 216 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:19,152 Exactly. 217 00:09:19,187 --> 00:09:22,255 Wait, am I having a good time? 218 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,395 I am having a good time. 219 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:31,231 Rebound sex is awesome. 220 00:09:31,265 --> 00:09:32,699 Excuse me. 221 00:09:41,255 --> 00:09:43,190 Oh, dear. 222 00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:47,194 This seemed like such a good idea last night. 223 00:09:47,228 --> 00:09:49,396 Nick. 224 00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:50,931 Nick? 225 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,534 Still breathing. 226 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,437 Still beating. 227 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,472 Still taut and juicy. 228 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,610 Nick. 229 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,212 Nick! 230 00:10:05,246 --> 00:10:07,514 I'm new to casual sex. Is this normal? 231 00:10:13,241 --> 00:10:15,942 Yeah, hey, Randi, um... 232 00:10:15,977 --> 00:10:17,944 can you come up here for a second? 233 00:10:17,979 --> 00:10:19,546 Yeah, and if you've got 'em, um, 234 00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:21,615 bring jumper cables. 235 00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:25,352 Well, look what the Kat dragged in. 236 00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:27,154 Ha, ha, ha, very clever. 237 00:10:27,188 --> 00:10:29,289 Can you holster your wit and help me wake him? 238 00:10:29,323 --> 00:10:30,524 Well, what did you do to him? 239 00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:32,659 I did all the, you know, 240 00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:34,261 good sex stuff. 241 00:10:34,295 --> 00:10:36,963 Which obviously left him depleted. 242 00:10:36,998 --> 00:10:38,498 Or it was his sleeping pills. 243 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,300 It was the sex stuff. 244 00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:42,135 Look, Kat, I'm all for you 245 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,638 getting your spice where it's nice, but Nick... really? 246 00:10:44,672 --> 00:10:46,540 Trust me, I don't want people to know. Just help me 247 00:10:46,574 --> 00:10:48,441 - get him to the shower. - Okay. 248 00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,210 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Does he have boxers on? 249 00:10:50,244 --> 00:10:51,344 'Cause I do not want to start my day 250 00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:52,913 with all that flopping at me. 251 00:10:54,715 --> 00:10:55,982 We're good. Flopper in the cage. 252 00:10:58,119 --> 00:11:01,288 - Okay, just... I'll get... - All right. Okay. 253 00:11:01,322 --> 00:11:04,624 - Okay. - Ooh. 254 00:11:04,659 --> 00:11:06,493 Was he this heavy when he was on top of you? 255 00:11:06,527 --> 00:11:08,595 Actually, I was the one who was on t... 256 00:11:08,629 --> 00:11:10,154 - You know what, never mind. Just go over there. - Okay, okay. 257 00:11:10,164 --> 00:11:11,998 - Got it? - Got it. 258 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:14,167 Three, two, one. 259 00:11:14,202 --> 00:11:17,637 Oh. Uh... - Oh, wait... 260 00:11:17,672 --> 00:11:21,641 Is this your first threesome? 261 00:11:21,676 --> 00:11:23,243 Okay, new plan, new plan. 262 00:11:23,277 --> 00:11:24,611 We leave him a note 263 00:11:24,645 --> 00:11:25,712 and I tell him to go out the front door. 264 00:11:25,746 --> 00:11:27,247 That way no one'll see him. 265 00:11:27,281 --> 00:11:29,082 Okay. That'll work. 266 00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:31,218 But why does it smell like stripper in here? 267 00:11:31,252 --> 00:11:33,119 Oh, strawberry love oil. 268 00:11:33,154 --> 00:11:34,354 My mom gives it to me every Hanukkah. 269 00:11:34,388 --> 00:11:36,256 It's kosher. 270 00:11:38,125 --> 00:11:39,593 Hey Randi, can I get a coffee? 271 00:11:39,627 --> 00:11:41,061 We're out. 272 00:11:41,095 --> 00:11:42,696 You just gave some to that guy. 273 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,331 Oh, well, that guy didn't give my boyfriend 274 00:11:44,365 --> 00:11:46,166 a key to my apartment. 275 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,235 Come on, it's not that big a deal. 276 00:11:48,269 --> 00:11:51,071 Aw, well, neither is making your own damn coffee. 277 00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:53,974 Phil, can I get a coffee? 278 00:11:54,008 --> 00:11:56,977 Sorry, I'm team Randi. She scares me. 279 00:11:58,379 --> 00:12:00,447 I got you. She doesn't scare me. 280 00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:03,116 But if she asks, you got this out of the garbage. 281 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,085 Hey, Sheila. How's it going? 282 00:12:05,119 --> 00:12:06,486 Oh, I was just accosted 283 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,656 by a pack of youths begging for money. 284 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,392 Mother, those are Girl Scouts selling cookies. 285 00:12:12,426 --> 00:12:15,228 Giving them a name only legitimizes them. 286 00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:17,998 How was your evening? 287 00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:22,135 Fine. I-I took myself out, it was fine. 288 00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:23,670 What'd you do? 289 00:12:23,704 --> 00:12:25,538 Just went to dinner. 290 00:12:25,573 --> 00:12:27,107 And then what? 291 00:12:27,141 --> 00:12:28,475 Why do you assume there's a "then what"? 292 00:12:28,509 --> 00:12:31,077 There was no "then what." Back off, Max. 293 00:12:31,112 --> 00:12:33,980 I am not impressed with the customer service today. 294 00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:39,219 Uh, Kat? 295 00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:40,654 Oh, oh, this is not good. 296 00:12:40,688 --> 00:12:44,090 Hey Kitty Kat, can I get a coffee to go? 297 00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:47,494 Oh, my. It appears Ms. Silver had a gentleman caller. 298 00:12:48,796 --> 00:12:51,131 So there was a "then what." 299 00:12:51,165 --> 00:12:53,700 Katharine, I didn't know you had it in you. 300 00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:56,569 Oh, she had it in her. 301 00:12:56,604 --> 00:12:59,306 Um... what are-what are you doing down here? 302 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,274 Didn't you get my note? 303 00:13:01,309 --> 00:13:03,543 Yeah, "Last night was great. Please go out the front door." 304 00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:06,112 Not this front door. The front door to my apartment. 305 00:13:06,147 --> 00:13:07,647 A-And I didn't write "last night was great." 306 00:13:07,682 --> 00:13:08,748 I wrote "I had a great time." 307 00:13:08,783 --> 00:13:10,650 The sex was great, you know, 308 00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:13,119 and so what if the sex was great? I deserve great sex. 309 00:13:13,154 --> 00:13:14,220 Wrong front door, Nick! 310 00:13:22,496 --> 00:13:24,431 Hey, baby. You want some eggs? 311 00:13:24,465 --> 00:13:26,766 What are you doing here again? 312 00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,768 I thought I'd squeeze in a nap during my lunch break. 313 00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:30,603 Why are you wearing my bonnet? 314 00:13:30,638 --> 00:13:33,807 Oh, I didn't bring my own. I got to protect the gold. 315 00:13:33,841 --> 00:13:35,475 And my robe? 316 00:13:35,509 --> 00:13:37,477 If I'm napping, I'm taking my pants off. 317 00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:39,779 Plus, this is buttery soft and smells amazing. 318 00:13:39,814 --> 00:13:41,247 How do you do that? 319 00:13:41,282 --> 00:13:43,683 I wash it. But who let you in? 320 00:13:43,718 --> 00:13:46,052 I did. Max gave me the key, remember? 321 00:13:46,087 --> 00:13:48,555 - Wh... I thought you gave that back. - Why would I do that? 322 00:13:48,589 --> 00:13:51,458 Because I am not ready for you to have a key to my apartment. 323 00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:54,060 What's the big deal? You have the key to my heart. 324 00:13:54,095 --> 00:13:57,364 No. No, no, no, that was your lame-ass Valentine's Day present 325 00:13:57,398 --> 00:13:58,798 because you forgot. 326 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,500 I got news for you: 327 00:14:00,534 --> 00:14:02,769 your free massage coupons just expired. 328 00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,171 Carter, you can't just come over here whenever you want. 329 00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:08,174 - Well, why not? - Because it's too much like we're living together. 330 00:14:08,209 --> 00:14:09,576 Oh, and I guess that's a bad thing. 331 00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:11,811 Look at yourself. It's not a good thing. 332 00:14:11,846 --> 00:14:14,080 Fine. I'll go drain my bubble bath, 333 00:14:14,115 --> 00:14:16,516 blow out the candles and leave. 334 00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:26,751 - Hey, Kat. - What's going on? 335 00:14:26,785 --> 00:14:28,319 Can I get a double bourbon? 336 00:14:28,353 --> 00:14:30,388 You know it's 2:00 in the afternoon. 337 00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:32,356 I need a bartender, not a clock. 338 00:14:32,391 --> 00:14:34,158 I don't know what's going on, 339 00:14:34,192 --> 00:14:36,494 but this is not a good day to be a man. 340 00:14:36,528 --> 00:14:38,262 - You okay? - Yeah, 341 00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:39,830 I'm sorry. Just, life keeps 342 00:14:39,865 --> 00:14:42,033 kicking me right in my girl balls. 343 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,534 Still upset about Oscar? 344 00:14:43,568 --> 00:14:46,037 No. I mean, yes, but, 345 00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:47,538 it's, uh... 346 00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:49,173 - talking about the other stuff. - Oh. 347 00:14:49,207 --> 00:14:51,976 Is this about you and Nick getting busy? 348 00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,911 Did you tell him? 349 00:14:53,945 --> 00:14:56,881 Kat, come on, I care about you, I wouldn't do that. 350 00:14:56,915 --> 00:14:58,949 Your mother did. 351 00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:00,551 So what do I do about Nick? 352 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,486 It was a one-night stand. You do the same thing I did 353 00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:04,488 when I hooked up with your roommate in college. 354 00:15:04,523 --> 00:15:06,057 That happened more than once. 355 00:15:06,091 --> 00:15:07,825 God, I miss college. 356 00:15:07,859 --> 00:15:09,560 Yeah. I never went to college. 357 00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,229 But I had a lot of one-night stands. 358 00:15:12,264 --> 00:15:15,032 Well, I have never had one before. What happens next? 359 00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,567 Nothing. You've done everything and everyone 360 00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:18,469 that needed to be done. 361 00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:20,204 Yeah. You had your fun. 362 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:21,972 Now you just got to hope it isn't too awkward 363 00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:23,974 at your son's next parent-teacher conference. 364 00:15:25,444 --> 00:15:27,378 Well, I'm gonna see him all the time. 365 00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:30,247 Like, what do I do if he wants more of this? 366 00:15:30,282 --> 00:15:32,316 Sex moves. 367 00:15:36,088 --> 00:15:38,456 Hey, Brutus. Looking handsome. 368 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:40,224 Keep up the good work. 369 00:15:40,258 --> 00:15:41,426 Oh, what about me? I'm handsome. I do good work. 370 00:15:41,427 --> 00:15:42,526 I've been told. 371 00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:44,528 By you. Last night. 372 00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:46,430 Three times. 373 00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:48,833 Damn these sex moves. 374 00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:51,836 Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. 375 00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:53,237 Talk away, Kitty Kat. 376 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:55,873 Um, well, last night was fun, 377 00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:58,042 but it was kind of a low point for me. 378 00:15:58,076 --> 00:16:00,411 Like, this is forgetting to wear a bra 379 00:16:00,445 --> 00:16:02,279 on seventh grade picture day, and then 380 00:16:02,314 --> 00:16:05,483 this is you, like, way down here, 381 00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:07,151 below clogging the toilet 382 00:16:07,185 --> 00:16:09,153 at Captain Darby's Shrimp Boat after prom. 383 00:16:09,187 --> 00:16:11,288 Wow, awesome stories. 384 00:16:11,323 --> 00:16:13,357 You should go tell 'em on TikTok. 385 00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:16,193 Um, uh, yeah, so, I just wanted to make it clear 386 00:16:16,228 --> 00:16:18,863 that, uh, last night was a-a one-time thing. 387 00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:20,464 Okay. 388 00:16:20,499 --> 00:16:21,866 You know, hit it and quit it. 389 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,200 Yep. 390 00:16:23,235 --> 00:16:24,335 Hump 'em and dump 'em. 391 00:16:24,369 --> 00:16:25,369 I got it. 392 00:16:25,404 --> 00:16:27,204 Sex-it and ex-it. 393 00:16:27,239 --> 00:16:29,340 Yes, I'm familiar with how one-night stands work. 394 00:16:29,374 --> 00:16:30,609 Okay, good, I'm just not in the headspace right now 395 00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,042 to take a lover. 396 00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:34,912 Wow, "headspace to take a lover." 397 00:16:34,946 --> 00:16:38,349 So, Lady Chatterly's closed her bedchambers, then? 398 00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:40,251 I'll see you around, Nick. 399 00:16:40,285 --> 00:16:42,353 Hey, you want to have breakup sex 400 00:16:42,387 --> 00:16:44,555 on a giant wheel of parmesan cheese in the back? 401 00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,424 What is wrong with you? 402 00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:49,160 How does he know just the right thing to say? 403 00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:51,195 Let's do this. 404 00:16:53,532 --> 00:16:57,134 All right, the score is nine to nine, next one wins. 405 00:16:58,136 --> 00:17:01,305 One, two, three. 406 00:17:02,674 --> 00:17:05,075 Oh, you're going down, little man. 407 00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:06,177 I'm big where it counts. 408 00:17:06,211 --> 00:17:08,179 Oh, that makes me uncomfortable. 409 00:17:08,213 --> 00:17:11,449 I meant my quads. But also the other thing. 410 00:17:11,483 --> 00:17:13,918 Oh! Did you just fart? 411 00:17:13,952 --> 00:17:15,519 You know that's an automatic forfeit. 412 00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,922 No. But I think I ripped my pants. 413 00:17:17,956 --> 00:17:19,056 You want to give up? 414 00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:21,091 - Hell no. - Oh... 415 00:17:22,093 --> 00:17:23,928 Uh, what are y'all doing? 416 00:17:23,962 --> 00:17:26,197 - Working. - Working. 417 00:17:26,231 --> 00:17:27,965 Can I talk to you for a second? 418 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,234 Sure. 419 00:17:30,268 --> 00:17:32,303 I got to go change my pants. 420 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,174 What's up? 421 00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:39,376 Not much. Just haven't seen you in a couple days. 422 00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:42,313 Yeah, yeah. Uh, I've been, uh, busy. 423 00:17:42,347 --> 00:17:44,114 Okay. Well, you want to come over tonight? 424 00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:46,116 Nah, I-I don't think so. 425 00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:48,619 Are you sure? 'Cause we can have dinner and then maybe, 426 00:17:48,653 --> 00:17:50,688 you know... 427 00:17:53,124 --> 00:17:55,960 It's been a long week. I'm kind of tired. 428 00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:57,962 Okay, what's going on? 429 00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,630 I was thinking that maybe I should 430 00:17:59,664 --> 00:18:03,167 take a step back from-from this, from us. 431 00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:06,470 - Wait, what? - I... I feel like 432 00:18:06,505 --> 00:18:07,538 you've been fighting this relationship 433 00:18:07,572 --> 00:18:08,706 every step of the way. 434 00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:10,741 Is this 'cause of the key thing? 435 00:18:10,775 --> 00:18:13,010 Because we both agreed we would take this slow. 436 00:18:13,044 --> 00:18:16,213 We were taking it any slower, we'd be going backwards. 437 00:18:17,215 --> 00:18:18,649 Wow. Well, 438 00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:21,352 sorry I'm not sticking to your schedule. 439 00:18:25,223 --> 00:18:28,092 Did you put my backup pants in the freezer? 440 00:18:28,126 --> 00:18:31,295 I'm not in a joking mood. But yeah, I did. 441 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,434 Um, hey, Randi, I-I know 442 00:18:37,469 --> 00:18:38,669 you're having some problems with Carter. 443 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,371 If you think it might help, 444 00:18:40,405 --> 00:18:43,474 I do have a "trouble with your boo" playlist. 445 00:18:43,508 --> 00:18:45,543 How much of it is Adele? 446 00:18:45,577 --> 00:18:47,044 Look, I can't help it if her songs 447 00:18:47,078 --> 00:18:49,213 apply to almost every situation. 448 00:18:49,247 --> 00:18:51,715 Well, actually, it would help to talk this out 449 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:53,784 with someone who understands guy drama. 450 00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:55,719 Well, my dear, you've come to the right place. 451 00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:58,188 - I have a lot of... - Phil. 452 00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:01,525 Step into my office, darling. You can call me Dr. Phil. 453 00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:05,763 Hey. 454 00:19:05,797 --> 00:19:08,399 Hey. I'm, uh, glad you're here. We should probably talk. 455 00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:11,135 Oh, let me guess... the lady regrets her dalliances, 456 00:19:11,169 --> 00:19:14,204 both upon bed and upon cheese? 457 00:19:14,239 --> 00:19:17,308 Yes. That is never happening again. Especially not right now, 458 00:19:17,342 --> 00:19:19,143 'cause Randi and Phil are in the kitchen. 459 00:19:19,177 --> 00:19:20,611 Well, that's probably best, because 460 00:19:20,645 --> 00:19:22,646 I got a lot of work to do anyway. 461 00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:25,683 - I just came by to thank you for your idea. - What idea? 462 00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:27,217 Well, the other night you mentioned buying your building, 463 00:19:27,252 --> 00:19:28,786 so I looked into it. 464 00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:31,555 You-you looked into this building? My building? 465 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:34,525 - Soon to be my building. - Your building? 466 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:37,695 Yeah, I'm buying it. I'm gonna be your new landlord. 467 00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:41,432 This guy just found another way to screw me. 468 00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:49,300 He owns my building. He owns the room that I sleep in. 469 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:51,702 And the room he sometimes sleeps in. 470 00:19:51,737 --> 00:19:53,271 Hey, that was just once. 471 00:19:53,305 --> 00:19:55,173 Mm, I heard it was more than once. 472 00:19:55,207 --> 00:19:57,442 How'd you hear that? I didn't tell anyone. 473 00:19:57,476 --> 00:19:58,976 You just told me. 474 00:19:59,011 --> 00:20:01,179 Oh, gosh. Well, what can I say? 475 00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:03,448 It's these unstoppable sex moves. 476 00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:05,116 Yeah. 477 00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:10,121 - Here. - What's this? 478 00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:13,124 - Just open it. - Whoa. 479 00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:17,128 My own robe. Won't flatter my figure like yours, but thanks. 480 00:20:17,162 --> 00:20:19,197 Check the pocket. 481 00:20:20,232 --> 00:20:22,333 - It's a key to my apartment. - Really? 482 00:20:22,367 --> 00:20:25,136 Yeah. You were right, I have been 483 00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:27,738 - fighting this relationship. - Why? 484 00:20:27,773 --> 00:20:29,707 Look, I already pay somebody by the hour to talk about it. 485 00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,776 Just trust me, I don't want to screw this up. 486 00:20:31,810 --> 00:20:33,344 Baby, I think we both know that 487 00:20:33,378 --> 00:20:35,246 I would be the one to screw this up. 488 00:20:37,249 --> 00:20:39,050 So, you can come over whenever you want. 489 00:20:39,084 --> 00:20:40,518 Appreciate that. 490 00:20:40,552 --> 00:20:42,286 Just make sure you text me three hours in advance. 491 00:20:42,321 --> 00:20:44,222 - Not a problem. - And Sunday morning is my time. 492 00:20:44,256 --> 00:20:46,090 - Yes, Lord, it is. - And no more than two days in a row. 493 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:47,391 Are you sure you want me to have this? 494 00:20:47,426 --> 00:20:49,093 No, but I gave it to you anyway. 495 00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:52,196 Maybe I'll surprise you and stop by tonight. 496 00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:54,298 - Don't. - Got it. 497 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:58,469 One, two, three. 498 00:20:58,504 --> 00:21:01,305 - Oh, you're so strong! - Oh, geez! 499 00:21:02,508 --> 00:21:04,041 For the record, 500 00:21:04,076 --> 00:21:06,310 these are not my unstoppable sex moves. 501 00:21:06,345 --> 00:21:08,312 ? I do it big, big, big ? 502 00:21:08,347 --> 00:21:09,647 ? This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium ? 503 00:21:09,681 --> 00:21:11,582 ? I let 'em gas me up ? 504 00:21:11,617 --> 00:21:13,551 ? Only take premium, only take premium ? 505 00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:18,489 ? Do what I want, want, want, so disobedient ? 506 00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:22,426 ? Say I don't got the juice, you a comedian, ha, ha, ha ? 507 00:21:22,461 --> 00:21:24,162 ? I do it big, big, big ? 508 00:21:24,196 --> 00:21:26,564 ? So big, large ? 509 00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,533 ? Only take premium, only take premium ? 510 00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:30,368 ? This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium. ? 511 00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:40,569 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 37271

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