Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:34,910
BANDAI VISUAL, TOKYO FM
DENTSU, TV ASAHI
2
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,912
and OFFICE KITANO Production
3
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,615
Now, I'll move the platform.
4
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,871
Hold your breath.
5
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,378
Please relax.
6
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:36,722
Producers:
Masayuki MORI and Takio YOSHIDA
7
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,533
Cinematography by
Katsumi YANAGIJIMA
8
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,327
Lighting Design by
Hitoshi TAKAYA
9
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,844
Production Design by
Norihiro ISODA
10
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,846
Sound Design by
Senji HORIUCHI
11
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,848
Line Producer:
Shinji KOMIYA
12
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:31,777
Music by
Shin-ichiro IKEBE
13
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,406
Have you caught a cold recently?
14
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,537
Anyone in your family had cancer?
15
00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:57,595
Written, Edited and Directed by
Takeshi KITANO
16
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,309
Tell him to come himself next time.
17
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:33,839
It all began with
a gangster film like this one.
18
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,747
ÂĄ10,000 cooperation fee every month?
19
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,750
Sign the contract?
20
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,756
You're full of shit, you dirty bastard.
21
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,510
That's right.
22
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,262
You refuse?
23
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,264
Damn right, you bastard.
24
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,549
Get out of town.
25
00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:56,774
Gangster films like that
are what Kitano does best.
26
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,902
Of all things, this dumb director
27
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,029
in his interviews here and abroad
28
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:05,783
proclaimed never to make another gangster film.
29
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,619
He's used to making gangster films
30
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,954
and had some box-office successes
31
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,415
but since he said he wouldn't
32
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,459
he simply can't make them anymore.
33
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,127
That said,
34
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:20,798
showing that violent scene
doesn't make much sense.
35
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,927
In a return to
more traditional Japanese cinema
36
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:29,098
like Ozu, idolized by directors like Wim Wenders,
37
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:33,435
Kitano decided to shoot
the life of the common folk.
38
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,980
A heart-warming drama
with no violence.
39
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:44,571
RETIREMENT
40
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,667
Happy Retirement.
41
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,296
From tomorrow
you can do as you like.
42
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,717
Working for that company was everything.
43
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,095
I don't know what to do now.
44
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,180
Why? You have your wife.
45
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,558
You could do something for her.
46
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,654
Where's Mr. Takagi today?
47
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,367
We were drinking till just now
48
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,578
but he took off.
49
00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:36,373
He probably thought
you should go home early today.
50
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,435
Sure you only want tea?
51
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,021
Yes. I already ate.
52
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,733
Happy Retirement.
53
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:13,952
Where's Akiko?
54
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,787
Not home yet.
55
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,542
She's late.
56
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,879
I wonder what happened.
57
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:27,716
She always calls
when she's going to be late.
58
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,067
What's the matter?
59
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:48,153
I'll go and check.
60
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,920
Something must have happened at the office.
61
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,299
But she's not a child anymore.
62
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,118
Is something wrong?
63
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,505
Who wants to see
64
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,550
a boring film spending 30 minutes
65
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,719
on just drinking liquor and tea!
66
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:58,974
Nowadays, terms like "common folk"
and "sentiments" don't count much.
67
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:02,519
What remains
are only the filthy rich and the poor.
68
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:06,565
Anyway, that man didn't look like
a retiring, hard-working office worker.
69
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,359
More like an illiterate laborer!
70
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,571
And compared to Ozu's works
71
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,408
the film was also criticized
for "lacking class."
72
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:22,164
For mainstream appeal,
a love story is a must.
73
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:27,252
Kitano has not yet
made a tearjerker love story.
74
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,339
That's it! That's what he can do!
75
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:37,596
THE DOOR OF RECOLLECTIONS
76
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:48,023
The idea was by a screenwriter
we knew.
77
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,525
It's the story
of a man who loses his memory
78
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:54,363
and the woman devoted
to helping him regain it.
79
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,281
A story of love…
80
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,242
Remember this place?
81
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,455
I came here with my friends
when I was a student.
82
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,291
We knew from where
the JĹŤmon Period was derived,
83
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:10,379
but we had no idea
about the origins of the Yayoi Period.
84
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,047
You were standing nearby.
85
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:16,468
"It's named after the town
where a shell mound was found."
86
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,220
That's what you told us.
87
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:22,724
We were convinced
you worked at the museum.
88
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:27,813
You showed us around here
all day after that.
89
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:31,650
Only later did you tell me
that you didn't work here.
90
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,736
You were just here on your day off.
91
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:41,743
But the screenplay
was missing its second half.
92
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,912
We asked the writer about it.
93
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,123
He said he had lost his memory.
94
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:47,833
The project was aborted.
95
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,921
To begin shooting
without a complete script
96
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,341
was absolutely ridiculous,
and Kitano was again scolded.
97
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:02,764
But he didn't give up
on making a tearjerker.
98
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:07,018
Then came the story of the artist,
blinded in an accident, and his student
99
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,604
who helps him become
the artist he once was.
100
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,940
A moving love story.
101
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,317
Sir.
102
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:18,822
The rain has turned
the sky and sea gray.
103
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:24,286
We can come here on a sunny day.
104
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,462
The screenplay was flawless to the end.
105
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,340
But the production designer said
106
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:41,470
he had no idea
how a painting by a blind artist should look.
107
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,306
We discussed it, but no one knew.
108
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,891
The project was aborted.
109
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,647
Why all these films
about women so devoted to men?
110
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,984
Why not make films
about men devoted to women?
111
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,862
So we decided
to make a tragic love story
112
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,573
titled "The Chauffeur's Romance."
113
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:23,887
Your chauffeur's great.
He always waits outside the car.
114
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,682
Well, he's kind of weird.
115
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,559
I tell him to wait in the car
116
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,353
but he waits outside.
117
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,480
Makes me feel guilty.
118
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,858
Maybe he likes you.
119
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,069
How can you say that?
120
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,362
You never know.
121
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,696
That would be a problem.
122
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:42,948
I agree.
123
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,366
It is a problem.
124
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,037
We thought so, too.
125
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,706
A chauffeur-and-princess romance
126
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,708
wouldn't get anywhere.
127
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,377
Something spicier.
128
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:59,506
A crook and a boutique girl
might work better.
129
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,494
He's here again.
130
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,598
Another gangster character!
131
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,517
What we've been trying so hard to avoid!
132
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,617
What sort of films
do people want to see?
133
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,328
Looking at the world film market,
134
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:14,664
ethnic and
nostalgic pieces are popular.
135
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,501
A film reminiscing
the mid-50s was a big hit in Japan.
136
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:23,340
The 50s to the 60s
were Kitano's childhood years.
137
00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:27,677
Kitano said, "Nobody knows
that period better than me."
138
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:32,140
"I'll show you a real 50s piece."
That's how it started…
139
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:43,735
What are you doing?
140
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,403
I'm taking this.
141
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,324
That's my car. You can't just take it.
142
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,451
Someone dropped it here.
143
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,536
What? I parked it here.
144
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,165
This car wasn't dropped here.
145
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,542
The car is parked here.
146
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,294
So it's yours?
147
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,046
Yes, so please…
148
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,966
What are you doing?
149
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:06,716
You bum!
150
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:07,842
I found it!
151
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,177
I parked it here.
152
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:09,970
Gimme money.
153
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,179
What are you saying?
154
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,892
Don't touch my car!
155
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,356
Help! Call the police!
156
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,403
Hey, you snob!
157
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:30,156
I say he found it!
158
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,909
Finder gets 20%.
159
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:33,743
Nonsense!
160
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,328
I'll settle for ÂĄ2,000.
161
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,425
Scram.
162
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,880
I'll never come back to this dump!
163
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:44,939
COAL-TAR & RIKIDOZAN
164
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,071
Honey.
165
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:54,157
Don't strain your eyes.
Eat this and go to bed.
166
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,283
Thanks.
167
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,851
Making him study outside
to save on electricity!
168
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,645
To spend money on booze!
169
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,939
Why should a house painter study?
170
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,775
You paint houses
because you didn't study!
171
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,318
What did you say?
172
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,654
I feed this family!
173
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,822
How dare you!
174
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,740
I work day and night
175
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,159
to earn your booze money!
176
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,328
I'll teach you!
177
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:41,871
You bitch!
178
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,335
Masao, go to bed.
179
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,226
I'm your husband!
180
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,235
Who do you think you are?
181
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,653
Wife beater!
182
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,156
You only care about the kids.
183
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,075
I'll show you who I am!
184
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,872
All you do is drink!
185
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,917
What did you say, bitch?
186
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,008
Who do you think you are?
187
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,596
I'm your husband.
188
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:00,909
Masao.
189
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,077
I made you rice balls.
190
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,079
Thanks, Mom.
191
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,721
Back to work!
192
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,600
Come on. Back to work!
193
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,454
Who was that?
194
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,956
The junk collector's son.
195
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,791
Remember? We beat him up.
196
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,921
A challenge to a duel.
197
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,425
COME TO PIPE FIELD AT 3:00
198
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,814
Which shall I choose?
199
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,525
Hurry up, I haven't got all day.
200
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:19,279
Come on. Just choose one.
201
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,655
That one?
202
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,948
Good boy. Here.
203
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:22,991
Jackpot.
204
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,867
There you go.
205
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,703
Should be bigger.
206
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,788
You chose it.
207
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:29,539
It's big.
208
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:30,999
Five yen. Pay up.
209
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,292
Give me five yen.
210
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:35,503
A 10-yen coin?
211
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,797
Here's your change.
212
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,007
Now go home.
213
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:39,799
But I…
214
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,843
Don't complain. Go on home.
215
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:52,020
Eat that and you'll get dysentery.
216
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,188
He's eating it.
217
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,233
You're so stupid. You'll die.
218
00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:59,027
Die? Damn brats!
219
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,195
You go home, too!
220
00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:02,864
Go on. Go home!
221
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,199
I said go home. Damn brats!
222
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:48,409
I am truly sorry for your loss.
223
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,203
Please take care.
224
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,048
What are you looking at?
225
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:45,675
Go to bed!
226
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,208
Bring the Rikidozan tights?
227
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,714
All you did was paint them black.
228
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:28,176
Did you bring
the Sharp Brothers trunks?
229
00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:29,677
Here.
230
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,182
What are those? They're bloomers!
231
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:40,521
They don't look anything
like Rikidozan's tights.
232
00:24:42,607 --> 00:24:44,859
Mine aren't like the Sharp Brothers either.
233
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:45,902
They're fine.
234
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:47,403
Well, let's begin.
235
00:24:57,038 --> 00:24:57,872
Fight!
236
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:58,664
Rope break.
237
00:24:58,789 --> 00:24:59,707
Move away.
238
00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:03,252
Rope.
239
00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:04,253
Move away.
240
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,173
Rope.
241
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:13,262
Fight.
242
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:16,891
Rope.
243
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,434
I said move away.
244
00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:23,606
Rope, rope.
245
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:24,941
Move away, jerk.
246
00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:34,408
One!
247
00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:51,801
One! Two! Three!
248
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,115
What about the duel?
249
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:16,158
We'll show up.
250
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:17,535
Yeah.
251
00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:18,578
Yeah.
252
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:25,001
Where's Mitsuo?
253
00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:26,836
He chickened out.
254
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,297
He's such a coward.
255
00:26:33,301 --> 00:26:35,136
I'll kill you all.
256
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:53,863
Now what?
257
00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,824
He lives in that junk yard, doesn't he?
258
00:26:56,991 --> 00:26:58,326
Let's take him there.
259
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:20,556
Hello!
260
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:23,225
Hello!
261
00:27:23,351 --> 00:27:24,685
Coming.
262
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,858
Why are you crying?
263
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:35,071
Where did you find all this?
264
00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:39,367
This coat and guitar
are your dad's keepsakes.
265
00:27:39,784 --> 00:27:41,410
1958
266
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,871
The right era
267
00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:45,998
but the wrong place.
268
00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:49,210
Poverty, discrimination
and domestic violence…
269
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:52,088
Work instead of goofing off!
270
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:55,049
Good-for-nothing!
271
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:58,594
The bleeding will stop sooner or later!
272
00:28:14,402 --> 00:28:16,779
He said he wouldn't shoot violence
273
00:28:17,071 --> 00:28:19,407
but now he's gone too far!
274
00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:29,709
Come to think of it
275
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:32,420
the genre standing out the most
276
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:35,923
are horror flicks,
some even remade by Hollywood.
277
00:28:36,507 --> 00:28:40,594
Hey, Kitano hasn't tried his hand
yet with horror flicks.
278
00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:43,597
We decided it was time.
279
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:53,399
NOH THEATER
280
00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:05,387
For ages, we've had
281
00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:09,642
a legend about a demon
that attacks and eats people.
282
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:12,728
Well, it's only a legend.
283
00:30:13,813 --> 00:30:16,690
But about 3 years ago
284
00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:21,403
a headless body was found
and struck fear around here.
285
00:31:41,025 --> 00:31:42,610
Despite the make-up,
286
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:45,404
the face didn't look very scary.
287
00:31:45,905 --> 00:31:50,159
And the title "Noh Theater"
was horrible for a horror flick!
288
00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:54,121
And why have girls
in a school uniform and a bikini?
289
00:31:55,456 --> 00:31:58,667
Some rumored it must be a comedy.
290
00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:02,254
This scene confirms it.
291
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:08,385
Ouch!
292
00:32:15,309 --> 00:32:16,185
Ouch!
293
00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:21,440
Not again.
294
00:32:22,566 --> 00:32:24,860
That, too, was a disaster.
295
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:31,909
Kitano had directed
12 films to date.
296
00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:35,245
Only one has been a box-office hit.
297
00:32:35,663 --> 00:32:38,958
Aiming for a hit…
A new type of period piece!
298
00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:41,460
No guns! Let's use swords.
299
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,503
Swordplay!
300
00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:44,421
This will do the trick.
301
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:12,718
BLUE RAVEN: NINJA PART 2
302
00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:36,176
Hey, hold it.
303
00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:37,469
Easy now.
304
00:35:38,220 --> 00:35:39,138
Don't kill him.
305
00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:42,683
Throw him into the old well.
306
00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:43,934
Yes, sir.
307
00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:48,605
Let's see how long he'll last.
308
00:36:14,715 --> 00:36:16,341
Is he dead?
309
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:19,011
Put the lid on.
310
00:37:31,667 --> 00:37:34,461
Is that ninja still alive?
311
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:40,092
We haven't heard a sound.
312
00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:41,510
He must be dead.
313
00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:46,348
Open it.
314
00:38:45,949 --> 00:38:48,660
It turned out
there was nothing new about it.
315
00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:51,955
How could such a mighty ninja
get caught anyway?
316
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,042
Why was the attack so orderly?
317
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:57,919
And why wait,
if jumping out the well was so easy?
318
00:38:58,045 --> 00:39:00,964
Just like Zatoichi opening his eyes!
319
00:39:01,089 --> 00:39:04,968
Someone suggested:
why not shoot "Zatoichi 2"?
320
00:39:05,552 --> 00:39:07,387
That was aborted.
321
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:16,188
In today's movies, CG is a must.
322
00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:18,690
Considering Japan's CG technology,
323
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:23,862
we should try a sci-fi blockbuster
taking place in a galaxy far, far away.
324
00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:25,530
We all agreed.
325
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:37,811
THE PROMISED DAY
326
00:40:49,823 --> 00:40:51,783
Yes, this should do.
327
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,452
Yes, sir.
328
00:40:57,664 --> 00:40:58,623
Carry on.
329
00:40:58,665 --> 00:41:00,292
Thank you, sir.
330
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:11,052
You're still here.
331
00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:26,151
Hey.
332
00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:28,612
Yes?
333
00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:32,199
What's that?
334
00:41:36,036 --> 00:41:37,537
Why is it moving?
335
00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:38,830
Very strange.
336
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,876
There shouldn't be an asteroid there.
337
00:41:43,084 --> 00:41:44,044
I know.
338
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:56,890
Astronomical Observatory.
339
00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,184
Oh, Dr. Nakano.
340
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:04,856
Yes… We were just talking about that.
341
00:42:06,650 --> 00:42:07,567
What?
342
00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:10,362
An asteroid?
343
00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:15,075
You confirm that?
344
00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:18,703
Intersecting with Earth's orbit?
345
00:42:20,247 --> 00:42:21,748
What? Within a week?
346
00:42:28,255 --> 00:42:30,507
An asteroid is approaching Earth.
347
00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:32,217
A common scenario.
348
00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:34,219
In a Hollywood film,
349
00:42:34,344 --> 00:42:38,431
a hero would appear
and set an H-bomb on the asteroid,
350
00:42:38,598 --> 00:42:40,809
like in a comic book.
351
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:43,728
But one scientist discovered
352
00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:47,357
a human face on its surface.
353
00:42:48,108 --> 00:42:52,112
Two of these
would become the main characters.
354
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:06,626
These noodles are terrible.
355
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:09,921
I won't pay ÂĄ800 for these.
356
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:19,639
I have an idea.
357
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:24,436
Let's use this.
358
00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:28,940
Hey, waiter!
359
00:43:32,152 --> 00:43:34,321
What the hell is this?
360
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:37,532
You serve cockroaches
to your customers?
361
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:40,285
One moment. I'll call the owner.
362
00:43:40,493 --> 00:43:42,120
Yeah, go get him.
363
00:43:45,665 --> 00:43:47,959
Boss! Boss!
364
00:43:57,844 --> 00:43:58,762
Hey.
365
00:43:59,471 --> 00:44:02,682
Too many leeches like you around.
366
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,018
Hurry. Take it out.
367
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:07,562
Who are you calling a leech?
368
00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:11,191
Take this, you bastard!
369
00:44:20,533 --> 00:44:21,743
Hurry up.
370
00:44:22,202 --> 00:44:23,370
Bastard!
371
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:28,625
Give it to him!
372
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,671
What are you doing?
373
00:45:07,414 --> 00:45:09,165
Scumbag!
374
00:45:56,838 --> 00:45:58,590
Get up!
375
00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:00,675
Ready?
376
00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:08,099
Boss!
377
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,562
There seems to be another complaint.
378
00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:27,410
Ladies, something to say?
379
00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:37,670
What's in this soup?
380
00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:39,088
It's delicious.
381
00:46:39,798 --> 00:46:41,716
Cockroaches, of course!
382
00:47:01,611 --> 00:47:02,570
Thank you.
383
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:03,988
Please come again.
384
00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:13,039
And that's how our story begins.
385
00:47:13,206 --> 00:47:16,042
But it can only go so far
with just two women.
386
00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:19,838
So we decided to throw in some men.
387
00:47:20,547 --> 00:47:24,759
Futoshi Kichijoji
a.k.a. "Masaru"
388
00:47:24,884 --> 00:47:27,470
and his double.
389
00:47:31,391 --> 00:47:36,729
WELCOME TO HOPES
(Higashi-Oizumi Politico-Economical Society)
390
00:48:08,011 --> 00:48:10,597
Let me present some of
391
00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:12,849
HOPES' activities.
392
00:48:14,350 --> 00:48:17,770
Tokyo's Sanya district
is named a UNESCO cultural heritage.
393
00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:20,607
Hanayashiki becomes a national park.
394
00:48:20,773 --> 00:48:23,735
HOPES has donated
ÂĄ500,000 for these causes.
395
00:48:24,444 --> 00:48:27,280
ÂĄ200,000 for
the Kagawa Buried Gold Project.
396
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:30,158
ÂĄ200,000 for the preservation
of the Etchū-style loincloth.
397
00:48:31,451 --> 00:48:32,619
ÂĄ300,000 to construct
398
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:35,288
Zorge Memorial Hall in Russia.
399
00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:36,956
ÂĄ200,000 to reinstate
400
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:39,792
viper-mongoose fighting in Okinawa.
401
00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:43,087
For the rescue of the seal in Tama River
402
00:48:43,212 --> 00:48:46,466
and the humpback whale
stranded off ChĹŤshi,
403
00:48:46,716 --> 00:48:49,761
HOPES donated ÂĄ300,000.
404
00:48:50,303 --> 00:48:53,806
The construction of
Japan's Heavy Laborers' Memorial Hall…
405
00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:56,476
The Peace Triangle Project
406
00:48:56,643 --> 00:48:59,812
to connect Kagoshima,
Takeshima Island and Senkaku Isles…
407
00:49:00,313 --> 00:49:02,982
Promoting the independence of Hokkaido…
408
00:49:03,608 --> 00:49:05,818
Returning Okinawa to the US…
409
00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,321
A nuclear power plant in Tokyo Bay…
410
00:49:08,821 --> 00:49:11,991
Establishment of the Miura Shooting Range in LA…
411
00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:15,453
Launching of the Adachi Spy Satellite
412
00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,664
to deter crime in Tokyo…
413
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:22,043
The passing of the Hair Piece Law
to ban fake hair…
414
00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:24,629
That's how HOPES has greatly contributed
415
00:49:24,754 --> 00:49:27,298
to Japan's culture and safety.
416
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:31,803
Please welcome HOPES Honorary Chairman
417
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:34,138
Daizen Higashi-Oizumi
418
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:37,183
who'll speak to you
on this happy occasion.
419
00:50:22,979 --> 00:50:23,896
You!
420
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:25,648
What are you laughing at?
421
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:33,031
How could you laugh during
this solemn ceremony?
422
00:50:33,990 --> 00:50:36,409
Straighten up, you pathetic fools!
423
00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:49,589
Don't you realize the future
of Japan lies on your shoulders?
424
00:50:49,922 --> 00:50:54,552
How dare you laugh
at such trifle matters?
425
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:57,055
If you laugh again, you're doomed.
426
00:51:00,141 --> 00:51:01,184
Gentlemen.
427
00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:05,021
Look straight into my face.
428
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:09,776
You there.
429
00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:10,610
And you.
430
00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:12,111
I said look!
431
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:20,787
Now please look this way.
432
00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:24,707
From the moment
your wife puts on these undies,
433
00:51:24,791 --> 00:51:27,335
your dull sex life
will change dramatically.
434
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:30,463
Transform into a beast,
transcend time
435
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,548
and sink into ecstasy!
436
00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:36,636
You'll be having sex
like newlyweds.
437
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:40,056
"Darling, I can't wait for night-time."
438
00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:43,184
"Oh, please…
I'll cook anything you want."
439
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:48,981
Fools! I told you not to laugh.
440
00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:52,151
Don't laugh!
441
00:51:52,527 --> 00:51:53,486
Don't!
442
00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:57,698
Alright. Now look down.
443
00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:00,743
Look down!
444
00:52:01,119 --> 00:52:02,161
Down!
445
00:52:14,799 --> 00:52:20,179
Alright, boys.
It's raffle time!
446
00:52:20,930 --> 00:52:23,683
First Prize is a color TV.
447
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:27,186
Good luck for the turn of the wheel!
448
00:52:32,233 --> 00:52:33,359
Hold on.
449
00:52:38,489 --> 00:52:40,116
Come out. Come out.
450
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:45,955
Patience is gold.
451
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:49,125
There!
452
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:51,377
What a pity.
453
00:52:51,544 --> 00:52:54,714
5th Prize is a pack of tissues.
454
00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:58,843
No golden balls
in the wheely!
455
00:53:00,011 --> 00:53:00,887
You!
456
00:53:01,429 --> 00:53:02,930
What's so funny?
457
00:53:03,764 --> 00:53:06,642
Alright. You can look up now.
458
00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:13,441
Don't laugh.
459
00:53:18,446 --> 00:53:19,322
Don't laugh!
460
00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:46,265
What happened?
461
00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:48,017
Are you alright?
462
00:53:48,142 --> 00:53:49,018
Yes.
463
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:53,606
You jumped out of nowhere.
464
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:55,942
I'm so sorry.
465
00:53:56,108 --> 00:53:57,276
Let's go to the hospital.
466
00:53:58,569 --> 00:53:59,612
I'm alright.
467
00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:01,364
Really, I'm fine.
468
00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:03,783
One thing, though.
469
00:54:03,950 --> 00:54:04,867
My foot hurts.
470
00:54:05,076 --> 00:54:06,452
Beg your pardon?
471
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:08,037
My foot hurts.
472
00:54:08,329 --> 00:54:10,206
Some medicine money.
473
00:54:11,249 --> 00:54:12,041
Medicine money?
474
00:54:12,250 --> 00:54:13,209
- Yes.
- I see.
475
00:54:19,257 --> 00:54:20,132
Here…
476
00:54:20,258 --> 00:54:21,259
ÂĄ1,000.
477
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:32,728
Let's part with a smile.
478
00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:34,397
- Thank you.
- Smile.
479
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:37,817
Take care.
480
00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:38,651
Thanks.
481
00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:40,236
Be careful.
482
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,269
An accident faker!
483
00:55:13,394 --> 00:55:16,355
Get hit by car, an expensive one.
484
00:55:16,522 --> 00:55:17,940
You do it!
485
00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:19,608
You're younger.
486
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,193
Here comes one.
487
00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:30,619
Damn. It turned!
488
00:55:36,375 --> 00:55:38,544
What are you doing? Silly girl!
489
00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:40,880
It came from behind.
490
00:55:57,605 --> 00:55:59,065
Kichijoji.
491
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:02,151
How come only you became a doll?
492
00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:03,986
I wanna be one, too.
493
00:56:04,612 --> 00:56:06,906
I'm an embarrassment.
494
00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:22,421
What's that?
495
00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:25,925
They must be rich.
496
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:27,843
That's it.
497
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,335
Welcome home, sir.
498
00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:03,546
Must be the house owner.
499
00:57:03,838 --> 00:57:07,383
The one in the student uniform
must be his son.
500
00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:09,385
But he looks like a doll.
501
00:57:09,510 --> 00:57:13,222
High class people
look as dignified as dolls.
502
00:57:19,437 --> 00:57:20,729
You fool!
503
00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:23,566
You still don't understand?
504
00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:27,069
Don't ride my pony.
505
00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:30,239
Sir, a call from Haguro Tradings.
506
00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:31,824
Got the money?
507
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:37,580
Hello. Did you get the 200 million yen?
508
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:41,167
I'll send someone right away.
509
00:57:41,792 --> 00:57:42,751
Hey, Kichijoji.
510
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:46,755
Get the money from Haguro.
Take it to Professor Ide.
511
00:57:47,173 --> 00:57:49,175
Where's the chauffeur?
512
00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:50,426
Chauffeur!
513
00:57:50,551 --> 00:57:51,760
Bathroom, perhaps?
514
00:57:51,886 --> 00:57:52,595
Pull him out!
515
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:55,097
I can drive.
516
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:56,932
Junior, it's dangerous.
517
00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:58,767
I want to drive.
518
00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:01,020
Junior, don't go.
519
00:58:01,854 --> 00:58:03,314
Junior.
520
00:58:03,564 --> 00:58:06,192
Please don't do that.
521
00:58:06,358 --> 00:58:07,943
He is the son.
522
00:58:36,013 --> 00:58:39,725
Two morons from HOPES
will come and pick up the money now.
523
00:58:40,726 --> 00:58:43,562
HAGURO TRADING, INC.
524
00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:24,728
Are you the morons from HOPES?
525
00:59:24,853 --> 00:59:25,771
Yes!
526
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,022
Get the money.
527
00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:28,107
Yes!
528
00:59:42,997 --> 00:59:44,206
I couldn't get it.
529
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,382
Excuse me.
530
00:59:58,512 --> 00:59:59,888
Who the hell are you?
531
01:00:01,265 --> 01:00:02,975
Ouch.
532
01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:08,564
Ouch.
533
01:00:59,657 --> 01:01:02,951
You're really terrific, Kameda.
534
01:01:21,178 --> 01:01:23,639
Cool! Like a Matryoshka doll.
535
01:02:35,127 --> 01:02:36,044
Ouch.
536
01:02:57,441 --> 01:02:59,902
SUBMARINE
537
01:03:10,204 --> 01:03:11,914
I am Professor Ide.
538
01:03:23,884 --> 01:03:25,093
That hurts.
539
01:03:26,386 --> 01:03:28,096
Sorry. Used your gag.
540
01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:33,685
Money from Mr. Chairman.
541
01:03:35,312 --> 01:03:36,188
Thank you.
542
01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:38,190
I can develop a new project.
543
01:03:39,858 --> 01:03:43,278
You're very sharp. You noticed that.
544
01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:46,615
That robot performed well at the Gulf.
545
01:03:46,865 --> 01:03:48,951
Want to see its performance?
546
01:03:55,207 --> 01:03:57,543
Here it comes. Look!
547
01:04:02,381 --> 01:04:04,299
Look at that!
548
01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:05,634
It's super.
549
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,970
It's just great!
550
01:04:08,262 --> 01:04:12,224
The robot might seem
bigger than it actually is.
551
01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:13,976
Don't be ridiculous.
552
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:20,399
Actually, there's
something else I want you to see.
553
01:04:20,566 --> 01:04:22,484
Let's go. This way.
554
01:04:28,824 --> 01:04:30,909
I am Professor Ide.
555
01:04:36,582 --> 01:04:37,749
Okay.
556
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:42,087
Use this and give me the cross ball.
557
01:04:42,796 --> 01:04:44,923
The ball is passed to Kichijoji.
558
01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:46,675
Here comes the cross ball.
559
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:50,512
Waits for the ball,
and it's a bicycle-kick.
560
01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:53,098
Goooooal!
561
01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,601
What a miracle shot!
562
01:04:55,726 --> 01:04:57,769
It's a goal.
563
01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:01,440
Hey, wasn't that terrific?
564
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:03,525
I named it Mr. Bicycle-kick.
565
01:05:03,650 --> 01:05:04,860
Coach Osim.
566
01:05:05,152 --> 01:05:07,279
Choose me for the national team.
567
01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:11,700
No need for praise.
568
01:05:12,075 --> 01:05:14,369
Come see another one.
569
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:15,704
Shall we go?
570
01:05:37,517 --> 01:05:38,393
Huh?
571
01:05:41,813 --> 01:05:44,983
Hey, Mrs. Koenji.
572
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,902
We know you're inside.
573
01:05:47,653 --> 01:05:49,988
We're from Daikoku Finance.
574
01:05:50,489 --> 01:05:53,241
At least pay the interest.
575
01:05:53,951 --> 01:05:54,826
Hey.
576
01:06:08,674 --> 01:06:10,300
PAY YOUR DEBTS
577
01:06:14,304 --> 01:06:16,014
I'll kill you, bitch.
578
01:06:17,224 --> 01:06:20,769
We're no ordinary loan sharks.
579
01:06:21,019 --> 01:06:23,855
Sell your kidney or liver.
580
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,025
We ain't doing this for charity.
581
01:06:27,401 --> 01:06:32,114
Pay or else you'll be insured
and killed in the Philippines.
582
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:36,201
We know you're in there.
583
01:06:36,326 --> 01:06:37,369
Come out.
584
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:39,538
Murderer!
585
01:06:39,663 --> 01:06:40,288
Pay up!
586
01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:41,623
You thief!
587
01:06:41,748 --> 01:06:43,208
Pay your debts!
588
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:45,794
Pay back your debts!
589
01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:46,878
Come out.
590
01:06:47,004 --> 01:06:48,130
Thief!
591
01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:49,297
Want more notices?
592
01:06:58,849 --> 01:06:59,891
We weren't recognized.
593
01:07:00,058 --> 01:07:01,393
How come?
594
01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,894
They're so dumb.
595
01:07:03,020 --> 01:07:05,814
We used our heads.
596
01:07:44,186 --> 01:07:47,439
White rice with mayonnaise.
597
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:50,609
A perfect Japanese meal!
598
01:07:57,741 --> 01:07:59,826
Want some?
599
01:08:00,327 --> 01:08:03,205
No barking, no food.
600
01:08:03,330 --> 01:08:05,957
C'mon. Say woof.
601
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,626
Say woof.
602
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:13,799
Then, shake.
603
01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:15,550
Shake.
604
01:08:22,182 --> 01:08:23,141
Come forward.
605
01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:29,541
Front thrust.
606
01:09:29,916 --> 01:09:30,959
Begin.
607
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,139
Begin.
608
01:09:54,608 --> 01:09:55,567
Begin.
609
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:00,906
Damn!
610
01:10:04,784 --> 01:10:05,744
Begin.
611
01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:14,419
Do it right.
612
01:10:18,757 --> 01:10:19,758
Begin.
613
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,664
Master Kichijoji is with us today.
614
01:10:50,789 --> 01:10:52,290
He will instruct you.
615
01:10:59,422 --> 01:11:02,467
First, he will show you his iron fist.
616
01:11:22,654 --> 01:11:23,822
Please begin, sir.
617
01:11:26,491 --> 01:11:28,994
Master, so sorry.
618
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:30,829
I said to use the thin one!
619
01:11:30,996 --> 01:11:33,248
Sir, once more.
620
01:11:34,541 --> 01:11:36,084
Sorry, sir. Once more.
621
01:11:42,424 --> 01:11:43,508
Sorry, Master.
622
01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:45,677
Straight in front, I told you.
623
01:11:47,053 --> 01:11:49,431
Master, are you alright?
624
01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:52,183
So sorry. So sorry.
625
01:11:52,309 --> 01:11:54,019
Master, I can't breathe.
626
01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:56,771
So sorry, Master.
627
01:11:58,690 --> 01:12:02,027
Next, Master Kichijoji will
give individual lessons.
628
01:12:06,156 --> 01:12:10,201
Master, choose anyone you like.
629
01:12:26,009 --> 01:12:27,719
Mitaka, you've been chosen.
630
01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:35,143
Don't worry. He understands.
631
01:13:15,100 --> 01:13:17,018
I said go easy, you fool.
632
01:13:21,189 --> 01:13:22,607
A little easy.
633
01:13:26,611 --> 01:13:28,446
Think, dammit!
634
01:13:30,281 --> 01:13:31,199
So sorry.
635
01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:33,868
If you can't beat them, join them.
636
01:13:36,121 --> 01:13:37,038
So sorry.
637
01:13:37,539 --> 01:13:39,290
Winning isn't everything.
638
01:13:41,334 --> 01:13:42,293
So sorry.
639
01:13:43,253 --> 01:13:45,046
Look before you leap.
640
01:13:48,007 --> 01:13:48,967
So sorry.
641
01:13:49,467 --> 01:13:51,386
Let sleeping dogs lie.
642
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:55,140
So sorry.
643
01:13:55,348 --> 01:13:58,309
Sometimes both sides lose.
644
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:00,979
So sorry.
645
01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:04,649
Don't drink and drive.
646
01:14:06,025 --> 01:14:06,985
So sorry.
647
01:14:07,694 --> 01:14:09,988
Never too old to learn.
648
01:14:13,867 --> 01:14:15,410
I am so sorry.
649
01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:44,355
This coffee's terrible.
650
01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:47,609
I won't pay for it.
651
01:14:47,901 --> 01:14:49,527
Let's use this again.
652
01:14:57,410 --> 01:14:59,037
What's wrong with this coffee?
653
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:03,625
The spoon melted.
654
01:15:51,297 --> 01:15:52,674
Oh, you're back.
655
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,510
What happened to your arm?
656
01:15:57,095 --> 01:15:59,847
You got injured in karate?
657
01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:04,018
You're training yourself so hard for me.
658
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:05,103
Thank you.
659
01:16:05,395 --> 01:16:08,690
Mr. Kichijoji, a woman
came and left this for you.
660
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:10,441
A letter from a woman?
661
01:16:10,942 --> 01:16:12,777
Read the letter.
662
01:16:13,987 --> 01:16:16,447
What's wrong with you?
663
01:16:23,997 --> 01:16:27,875
Dear sir, please forgive me
for this abrupt memo.
664
01:16:28,126 --> 01:16:31,129
My name is Kumiko Koenji.
665
01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:33,298
After meeting the other day,
666
01:16:33,464 --> 01:16:37,051
my daughter, Kimiko,
became quite interested in you.
667
01:16:37,176 --> 01:16:39,637
We would like to meet you.
668
01:16:39,804 --> 01:16:43,975
Please come to the Arc de Triomphe
at 2 p.m. on the 10th.
669
01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:46,811
To the gentleman
in the school uniform.
670
01:16:47,437 --> 01:16:49,564
You're a man, after all.
671
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,066
It's good to be liked by women.
672
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:56,321
What's wrong?
673
01:17:19,844 --> 01:17:20,928
Wait. Wait!
674
01:17:21,054 --> 01:17:23,765
Wait. Wait. Wait!
675
01:17:25,475 --> 01:17:28,186
For the future of Japan,
676
01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:30,355
we need a man like you.
677
01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:32,940
Have your own family.
678
01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:36,527
Live for the future of Japan.
It's the right thing to do.
679
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:41,199
Marry this woman as a favor to me.
680
01:17:41,574 --> 01:17:43,910
Think of me as your father.
681
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:46,621
Please do it for me.
682
01:17:59,217 --> 01:18:01,219
Oops, wrong arm.
683
01:18:04,430 --> 01:18:05,973
Wrong arm again.
684
01:18:06,516 --> 01:18:11,062
I wonder if he knows about women?
685
01:18:11,229 --> 01:18:14,982
How does he usually spend his time?
686
01:18:15,692 --> 01:18:18,903
He should know how to make babies.
687
01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:20,655
You never know.
688
01:18:20,780 --> 01:18:22,573
He's full of surprises.
689
01:18:23,408 --> 01:18:25,993
Oh, yes. Get Dr. Rhythm Method.
690
01:18:28,538 --> 01:18:31,249
When a male reaches adolescence,
691
01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:35,586
sperm will normally
be made in the testicles,
692
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:37,422
where they mature
693
01:18:37,547 --> 01:18:40,091
and wait for ejaculation.
694
01:18:40,383 --> 01:18:45,096
Intercourse takes place by inserting
the male sex organ into that of the female.
695
01:18:45,263 --> 01:18:46,347
Female sex organ!
696
01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:49,267
Piston movements of the hips
697
01:18:49,392 --> 01:18:51,269
cause rhythmic friction
698
01:18:51,352 --> 01:18:54,439
and the male ejaculates in ecstasy.
699
01:18:54,605 --> 01:18:55,523
Ejaculate!
700
01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:58,693
The sperm in the semen
head for the uterus
701
01:18:58,818 --> 01:19:00,111
and the ovum is
702
01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:01,028
fertilized.
703
01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:01,863
Fertilized!
704
01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:03,990
Thus, a baby is made.
705
01:19:04,198 --> 01:19:06,784
Basically, come inside and you make a baby.
706
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:07,952
Come inside!
707
01:19:08,077 --> 01:19:09,287
That's how it goes.
708
01:19:16,043 --> 01:19:19,130
My name is Kumiko Koenji.
709
01:19:19,630 --> 01:19:22,550
After meeting the other day,
710
01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:25,970
my daughter, Kimiko,
became quite interested in you.
711
01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,557
We would like to meet you.
712
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:34,562
Please come to the Arc de Triomphe
at 2 p.m. on the 10th.
713
01:19:35,146 --> 01:19:39,066
To the gentleman in the school uniform.
714
01:19:39,442 --> 01:19:41,402
Hey, where's Kichijoji?
715
01:19:41,527 --> 01:19:43,154
He left 2 days ago.
716
01:19:43,321 --> 01:19:45,490
He isn't back yet?
717
01:19:45,656 --> 01:19:46,866
The meeting's tomorrow.
718
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:48,493
It's strange.
719
01:19:48,868 --> 01:19:52,079
Where's the meeting going to be?
720
01:19:52,163 --> 01:19:54,081
At the Cafe Arc de Triomphe.
721
01:19:54,999 --> 01:19:57,168
Don't tell me
722
01:19:57,293 --> 01:20:02,423
he went to
the real Arc de Triomphe in France.
723
01:21:00,523 --> 01:21:02,483
Why is he late?
724
01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:33,514
Did he really go to France?
725
01:21:33,598 --> 01:21:35,683
Yes, he said he'd be back soon.
726
01:21:36,851 --> 01:21:38,436
Call the young lady.
727
01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:40,771
Engagement ritual.
728
01:21:46,360 --> 01:21:47,445
It's good.
729
01:22:36,577 --> 01:22:39,497
Why are we taking the train?
730
01:22:40,539 --> 01:22:43,918
The house in Setagaya
must be his second house.
731
01:22:44,335 --> 01:22:46,921
He did mention a "main" house.
732
01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:49,590
It must be like a palace.
733
01:22:50,049 --> 01:22:50,925
A palace!
734
01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:53,761
A palace.
735
01:22:56,514 --> 01:22:58,182
Oh, a box lunch.
736
01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:01,185
Thank you very much.
737
01:23:03,688 --> 01:23:04,939
He's quite sweet.
738
01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,107
He is.
739
01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:10,528
What's this?
740
01:23:11,529 --> 01:23:13,197
Nothing for me?
741
01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:14,865
Damn you.
742
01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:17,451
Stingy.
743
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,039
Go to hell.
744
01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:27,044
Mom, I was wondering…
745
01:23:28,379 --> 01:23:30,172
Remember the noodle shop?
746
01:23:30,381 --> 01:23:32,800
Why were masked men there?
747
01:23:33,217 --> 01:23:34,844
How should I know?
748
01:23:35,302 --> 01:23:36,220
And…
749
01:23:36,303 --> 01:23:37,388
What?
750
01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:40,641
When we tried to fake an accident,
751
01:23:40,766 --> 01:23:42,476
a small truck ran into me.
752
01:23:43,561 --> 01:23:44,729
That driver…
753
01:23:44,895 --> 01:23:47,398
Why did he fall out the truck?
754
01:23:47,523 --> 01:23:49,066
How should I know?
755
01:23:49,734 --> 01:23:50,985
It's his fault.
756
01:24:00,786 --> 01:24:01,996
Mom?
757
01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:06,333
Is this a train or a truck?
758
01:24:06,459 --> 01:24:07,168
Which is it?
759
01:24:07,293 --> 01:24:09,086
Stop asking me.
760
01:24:09,754 --> 01:24:11,005
Ask him.
761
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,938
When things get rough, he becomes a doll.
762
01:24:28,105 --> 01:24:29,106
He's creepy.
763
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:30,441
Watch out.
764
01:24:31,567 --> 01:24:34,278
Where the hell is your house?
765
01:24:40,951 --> 01:24:42,787
I don't believe this.
766
01:24:42,995 --> 01:24:44,288
Watch out.
767
01:24:52,004 --> 01:24:53,464
Who is he?
768
01:24:54,673 --> 01:24:56,383
Why is he there?
769
01:25:05,643 --> 01:25:07,311
Watch out.
770
01:25:08,354 --> 01:25:11,482
What the hell is wrong with this boat?
771
01:25:14,819 --> 01:25:16,654
How long must we walk?
772
01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:18,322
It's so far.
773
01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:21,492
Just one lonely road
with nothing around.
774
01:25:24,954 --> 01:25:26,664
You've come home!
775
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:32,169
Is that your bride?
776
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:38,509
Excuse me, is he…?
777
01:25:38,884 --> 01:25:40,219
He's my son.
778
01:25:40,678 --> 01:25:43,264
You must meet his father.
779
01:25:44,348 --> 01:25:46,517
Where is your house?
780
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:49,019
See that over there?
781
01:25:54,358 --> 01:25:56,694
You live in a palace?
782
01:25:56,819 --> 01:25:58,279
No, the one in front.
783
01:26:04,577 --> 01:26:06,287
That dirty one?
784
01:26:06,412 --> 01:26:07,371
Yes.
785
01:26:13,377 --> 01:26:16,922
Dear, Futoshi's bride is here.
786
01:26:18,549 --> 01:26:20,801
We'll have the wedding today.
787
01:26:20,885 --> 01:26:23,554
I'll go over to the neighbor's.
788
01:26:34,398 --> 01:26:36,567
I don't see any houses around.
789
01:28:21,547 --> 01:28:23,007
Is this the bath?
790
01:28:24,383 --> 01:28:25,843
There are no walls.
791
01:28:25,968 --> 01:28:27,428
No one will see.
792
01:28:27,553 --> 01:28:28,929
I can't bathe here.
793
01:28:29,054 --> 01:28:29,680
Get in.
794
01:28:29,888 --> 01:28:31,181
No way.
795
01:28:31,348 --> 01:28:32,182
I won't.
796
01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:33,559
It feels good.
797
01:28:33,684 --> 01:28:36,687
I can be seen from any direction.
798
01:28:38,564 --> 01:28:39,523
Get in.
799
01:28:42,026 --> 01:28:43,861
Wow. It feels good.
800
01:28:44,069 --> 01:28:45,279
Told you.
801
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:49,533
What's with this light?
802
01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:51,952
It just came on.
803
01:29:21,732 --> 01:29:23,150
Say, Mom…
804
01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,070
Why are you wearing those?
805
01:29:26,945 --> 01:29:28,238
Because they were there.
806
01:29:29,406 --> 01:29:32,409
I'm sick and tired of this work.
807
01:29:33,869 --> 01:29:35,913
Let's run away tonight.
808
01:29:36,413 --> 01:29:37,581
How?
809
01:29:38,499 --> 01:29:40,834
When he's taking a bath.
810
01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:42,920
It'll work, if he's not around.
811
01:29:51,053 --> 01:29:52,888
There he is.
812
01:29:52,971 --> 01:29:54,348
In the tub.
813
01:29:57,267 --> 01:29:58,268
Mom…
814
01:29:58,685 --> 01:30:01,105
Why is he in a school uniform?
815
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:02,773
Because he's stupid.
816
01:30:02,940 --> 01:30:04,775
He's so weird.
817
01:30:05,067 --> 01:30:08,112
Don't worry.
We can hit him with firewood.
818
01:30:19,748 --> 01:30:21,291
Put in more firewood.
819
01:30:21,458 --> 01:30:22,459
Cook him.
820
01:30:32,177 --> 01:30:33,137
This is bad.
821
01:30:33,262 --> 01:30:34,138
Run.
822
01:30:34,513 --> 01:30:35,389
Run.
823
01:31:25,522 --> 01:31:26,690
What was that?
824
01:31:27,399 --> 01:31:29,359
The Terminator.
825
01:31:40,245 --> 01:31:42,873
Do you know who I am?
826
01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,209
I am Professor Ide.
827
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:48,045
I am so funny.
828
01:31:48,170 --> 01:31:50,631
What?
Your woman ran off?
829
01:31:51,048 --> 01:31:53,842
So let's go after her.
830
01:31:54,134 --> 01:31:55,886
I have a rocket.
831
01:31:56,637 --> 01:31:57,721
Come this way.
832
01:32:03,936 --> 01:32:05,062
Now, in high spirits!
833
01:32:05,229 --> 01:32:07,189
One, two, three, four.
834
01:32:14,363 --> 01:32:18,408
ROCKET LAUNCH SITE
835
01:32:22,746 --> 01:32:24,373
All halt!
836
01:32:24,498 --> 01:32:25,707
One, two.
837
01:32:26,208 --> 01:32:27,209
Look at it.
838
01:32:27,334 --> 01:32:29,586
It's great. It's great. It's great.
839
01:32:32,047 --> 01:32:34,758
It's going to fly, fly, fly.
840
01:32:35,592 --> 01:32:38,262
10 seconds to launch.
841
01:32:38,428 --> 01:32:40,430
Nine, eight…
842
01:32:40,722 --> 01:32:43,392
Oh, I forgot to close the door.
843
01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:48,230
Once again.
844
01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:50,899
Five seconds to launch.
845
01:32:51,024 --> 01:32:52,943
Four, three,
846
01:32:53,068 --> 01:32:54,611
two, one.
847
01:32:54,736 --> 01:32:55,779
Blast off!
848
01:33:12,588 --> 01:33:16,842
I am an alien from outer space.
849
01:33:20,596 --> 01:33:22,973
Takeshi, remember this?
850
01:33:23,098 --> 01:33:26,810
It's been eight years since KIKUJIRO.
851
01:33:26,977 --> 01:33:29,938
I am an alien from outer space.
852
01:33:31,398 --> 01:33:33,317
Sorry. Once again.
853
01:33:33,442 --> 01:33:35,444
OK. Let's fly.
854
01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:38,989
Three, two, one.
855
01:33:39,239 --> 01:33:41,491
Blast off!
856
01:33:57,591 --> 01:33:59,968
Something fell over there.
857
01:34:00,093 --> 01:34:01,136
What was it?
858
01:34:01,678 --> 01:34:03,805
Who cares what fell?
859
01:34:03,930 --> 01:34:05,515
Why are you wearing my clothes?
860
01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:09,019
You're wearing mine, too.
861
01:34:09,770 --> 01:34:11,813
Couldn't you tell?
862
01:34:12,648 --> 01:34:16,193
Look at you.
You've even got a ribbon on.
863
01:34:35,420 --> 01:34:37,381
I am Professor Ide.
864
01:34:38,340 --> 01:34:41,218
Attempting to escape is futile.
865
01:34:42,886 --> 01:34:43,845
Torpedo.
866
01:34:44,388 --> 01:34:46,139
Fire!
867
01:34:56,191 --> 01:34:59,152
Submerge.
868
01:35:22,175 --> 01:35:24,052
That sign seems to be following us.
869
01:35:24,428 --> 01:35:26,763
DAIKOKU FINANCE
870
01:35:26,888 --> 01:35:28,765
I am Professor Ide.
871
01:35:44,030 --> 01:35:45,073
Hurry, hurry.
872
01:35:45,198 --> 01:35:46,783
Taxi. Taxi.
873
01:36:01,965 --> 01:36:03,592
I am Professor Ide.
874
01:36:05,051 --> 01:36:06,470
Driver, step on it.
875
01:36:07,095 --> 01:36:08,472
To the police station!
876
01:36:09,973 --> 01:36:10,766
Hurry.
877
01:36:10,891 --> 01:36:12,642
To the police station!
878
01:36:16,313 --> 01:36:19,816
We found them.
We're pursuing them now.
879
01:36:19,983 --> 01:36:21,485
Put your mind at ease.
880
01:36:23,987 --> 01:36:25,989
How's it kicking, Kichijoji?
881
01:36:26,114 --> 01:36:27,491
I am kicking.
882
01:36:27,616 --> 01:36:30,494
If we are kicking,
we will catch them soon.
883
01:36:30,702 --> 01:36:32,162
Please enjoy the ride.
884
01:36:32,454 --> 01:36:34,623
Let's do the usual.
Please repeat after me.
885
01:36:34,748 --> 01:36:35,957
Let's kick it!
886
01:36:36,082 --> 01:36:40,837
One, two, three, d-a-a-a-h!
887
01:36:40,962 --> 01:36:42,005
Thank you.
888
01:36:58,605 --> 01:36:59,481
Hurry. Help!
889
01:36:59,606 --> 01:37:01,024
Help!
890
01:37:06,112 --> 01:37:08,990
Now, let's take the field.
891
01:37:12,452 --> 01:37:16,373
Advance!
Kill them all.
892
01:37:17,290 --> 01:37:18,542
What is it?
893
01:37:18,667 --> 01:37:19,501
Over there.
894
01:37:19,626 --> 01:37:20,710
That?
895
01:37:20,877 --> 01:37:23,380
Good boy.
896
01:37:29,886 --> 01:37:30,929
Rocket Punch.
897
01:37:31,304 --> 01:37:33,181
Prepare to attack.
898
01:37:36,893 --> 01:37:37,686
Ready.
899
01:37:39,980 --> 01:37:41,648
Fire!
900
01:37:49,906 --> 01:37:51,199
Don't mind.
901
01:37:56,580 --> 01:37:58,373
It's ready.
902
01:38:13,597 --> 01:38:16,141
That should do it.
903
01:38:16,266 --> 01:38:16,933
LEFT ARM
904
01:38:17,267 --> 01:38:18,059
Ouch.
905
01:38:18,184 --> 01:38:19,227
Ouch.
906
01:38:59,893 --> 01:39:01,519
I want to be with him.
907
01:39:01,645 --> 01:39:02,604
What?
908
01:39:03,605 --> 01:39:05,148
Do you really mean that?
909
01:39:06,483 --> 01:39:07,817
Yes, I do.
910
01:39:14,282 --> 01:39:15,617
It's beautiful.
911
01:39:16,785 --> 01:39:20,622
Maybe, people need a life like this.
912
01:39:30,840 --> 01:39:32,133
A shooting star?
913
01:41:27,582 --> 01:41:29,584
Doctor, how's my brain?
914
01:41:32,295 --> 01:41:33,630
Broken.
915
01:41:43,264 --> 01:41:47,268
Beat Takeshi
916
01:41:48,770 --> 01:41:52,774
Tohru EMORI
917
01:41:53,775 --> 01:41:57,779
Kayoko KISHIMOTO
918
01:42:01,616 --> 01:42:05,620
Anne SUZUKI
919
01:42:06,996 --> 01:42:11,000
Kazuko YOSHIYUKI
920
01:42:12,418 --> 01:42:16,464
Narrator:
Masatoh IBU
921
01:44:04,197 --> 01:44:08,201
Subtitles:
Jeanette AMANO, Richard LORMAND
55851
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof