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1
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- WOMAN: How often are you having sex?
- Uh, excuse me?
2
00:00:02,612 --> 00:00:04,641
We've been off our game
a little bit lately.
3
00:00:04,662 --> 00:00:06,197
Um, 0.5 times a week.
4
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,022
Last season on "You Me Her"...
5
00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:10,190
JACK: We lied with
disturbing specificity.
6
00:00:10,192 --> 00:00:11,561
Well, you got to lie.
Like, I'm gonna tell
7
00:00:11,573 --> 00:00:12,961
the whole neighborhood we
haven't had sex in two months?
8
00:00:12,963 --> 00:00:14,730
Well, you just did.
9
00:00:14,732 --> 00:00:15,945
You need to do it
someone you don't know,
10
00:00:15,947 --> 00:00:18,250
someone who doesn't laugh
when you get your sexy on.
11
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:20,019
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- I'm talking about an escort.
12
00:00:20,181 --> 00:00:21,031
Hi.
13
00:00:21,053 --> 00:00:22,446
Are you fucking kidding me?
14
00:00:22,463 --> 00:00:24,244
I came clean. Don't I get
points for coming clean?
15
00:00:24,248 --> 00:00:26,089
You get points for
admitting to scarfing down
16
00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:27,969
the second half of my panini, not for
17
00:00:28,089 --> 00:00:29,503
confessing
to spending happy hour
18
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:30,953
in a hotel room with a hooker.
19
00:00:30,955 --> 00:00:32,137
I met Izzy today.
20
00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:33,886
- Surprise.
- What?
21
00:00:33,924 --> 00:00:36,345
And I probably should've told
you this a long, long time ago.
22
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,931
Izzy.
23
00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:39,632
She wasn't my first girl.
24
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:42,354
JACK: Your stupid moron
plan actually worked.
25
00:00:42,474 --> 00:00:44,071
Emma and I are having crazy sex.
26
00:00:44,072 --> 00:00:45,274
What if it's all Izzy?
27
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:47,899
We... we agree that this is a business arrangement, right?
28
00:00:47,937 --> 00:00:49,963
IZZY: Well, you know,
I had my date with Emma last night.
29
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,224
It was pretty awesome.
30
00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:53,773
Like a fucking lesbian
romance novel. Blegh!
31
00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:56,281
Whatever the fuck that
is, stop it immediately.
32
00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:58,172
- Mom!
- [GASPS]
33
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,913
- What are you doing?
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
34
00:01:00,484 --> 00:01:02,128
- So, hi.
- So who was that chick
35
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,176
who got dropped off at
your house two nights ago?
36
00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:06,894
I told her she was, uh, my niece.
37
00:01:06,895 --> 00:01:08,450
- Babe, just take a breath.
- I need this.
38
00:01:08,476 --> 00:01:10,158
I want to be dean of this place.
39
00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:11,592
Lori's big on spite.
40
00:01:11,608 --> 00:01:14,568
Lori, who is now, you
know, on the alumni board.
41
00:01:14,832 --> 00:01:16,211
Do you know that she has a boyfriend?
42
00:01:16,222 --> 00:01:17,704
What are you doing here?
43
00:01:17,758 --> 00:01:19,682
- I'm looking for a girl.
- I knew it.
44
00:01:19,802 --> 00:01:22,937
Andy, why'd you follow me
here, to my uncle's house?
45
00:01:22,981 --> 00:01:25,136
You know, I'm getting the
overwhelming sense that, uh,
46
00:01:25,146 --> 00:01:26,958
Jack isn't really
Izzy's uncle, you know.
47
00:01:26,958 --> 00:01:27,981
What?
48
00:01:27,982 --> 00:01:29,878
I fucked Andy.
49
00:01:29,916 --> 00:01:31,581
- [SCREAMS]
- Give me one good reason
50
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,592
why I shouldn't punch
you in the vag right now.
51
00:01:33,712 --> 00:01:35,958
You find Jacqueline Isabelle's last name
52
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:39,267
and any social networking
site that proves
53
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,729
her and Jack's big sister could pick each
other out of a line-up,
54
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,667
let alone share DNA.
55
00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,177
I thought this was supposed to be easy.
56
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,090
I'm not exactly a Photoshop wizard.
57
00:01:46,101 --> 00:01:47,327
It's Ava.
58
00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:49,863
- It worked.
- I love us.
59
00:01:50,169 --> 00:01:53,267
EMMA: Maybe this is doable,
the road less traveled,
60
00:01:53,268 --> 00:01:56,117
- the relationship more populated.
- Pfff.
61
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:58,272
- Why does it have to be scary?
- I'm actually confused.
62
00:01:58,273 --> 00:01:59,655
Did you say this was permanent?
63
00:01:59,674 --> 00:02:01,051
I know that you guys feel this
64
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:03,427
- just as much as I do.
- We have careers.
65
00:02:03,461 --> 00:02:06,183
- We have neighbors for God's sake.
- So you're afraid?
66
00:02:06,223 --> 00:02:07,705
Of course we're fucking afraid.
67
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,483
You don't deserve me.
68
00:02:11,558 --> 00:02:12,966
I declined the position.
69
00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:14,455
- Okay.
- And then I resigned.
70
00:02:14,489 --> 00:02:17,082
She's leaving because she fell
in love with you... both of you.
71
00:02:17,091 --> 00:02:18,517
- Go to the airport.
- [HORN BLARING]
72
00:02:19,527 --> 00:02:20,756
Hey, assholes.
73
00:02:20,783 --> 00:02:22,605
We literally raced to the
airport, which is, like,
74
00:02:22,605 --> 00:02:25,785
the... the rom-comiest
of all rom-com tropes.
75
00:02:26,211 --> 00:02:27,914
- And...
- Just to get here.
76
00:02:27,925 --> 00:02:29,967
- But then what?
- We go home.
77
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,611
What?
78
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:39,772
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
79
00:02:53,562 --> 00:02:55,825
♪ Run right through ya ♪
80
00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:58,065
♪ Turn my cues up ♪
81
00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,986
♪ No excuses ♪
82
00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:02,870
♪ Round and round and
round and here we go ♪
83
00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:11,498
EMMA: Ugh. Did I hunt, capture, and eat
84
00:03:11,519 --> 00:03:13,449
a small cat by any chance?
85
00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:14,952
JACK: Shh.
86
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,138
[SIGHS]
87
00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,208
Need painkillers.
88
00:03:18,629 --> 00:03:20,208
Truth.
89
00:03:25,111 --> 00:03:27,307
- Are you gonna get them?
- God, no.
90
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,012
Ohh.
91
00:03:29,012 --> 00:03:30,904
Oh, fuck.
92
00:03:30,938 --> 00:03:32,615
[SIGHS] Just fuck in general, or... ?
93
00:03:32,635 --> 00:03:34,418
I quit my job.
94
00:03:34,538 --> 00:03:37,540
Yeah. Yep.
95
00:03:38,409 --> 00:03:41,204
Can't remember the actual
reason. Something about
96
00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,299
doing what I want to do,
97
00:03:43,299 --> 00:03:44,802
but I think that's all
I ever wanted to do.
98
00:03:44,815 --> 00:03:47,079
So you do it at another
school, one where they have
99
00:03:47,092 --> 00:03:48,736
bigger problems than choosing the color
100
00:03:48,756 --> 00:03:50,753
for their sweet-16 Beemers.
101
00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:53,661
- Solid idea.
- Let's call it a day.
102
00:03:54,558 --> 00:03:56,662
It's all downhill from here.
103
00:04:00,727 --> 00:04:02,998
Izzy. What happened to Izzy?
104
00:04:03,032 --> 00:04:05,689
- Oh, my God, we lost her?
- She could be anywhere by now.
105
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,785
[IZZY GROANS]
106
00:04:07,905 --> 00:04:09,667
[CHUCKLES] Or there.
107
00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:12,060
What's that on her ass?
108
00:04:17,581 --> 00:04:18,785
"Edgy"?
109
00:04:18,855 --> 00:04:21,205
- Oh, God.
- I have one, too?
110
00:04:21,248 --> 00:04:23,052
IZZY: Just go to sleep.
111
00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:24,921
Just stop talking.
112
00:04:24,922 --> 00:04:26,859
It's not "edgy."
113
00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:30,594
It's "E-J-I."
114
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,175
Emma, Jack, Izzy.
115
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,646
How the fuck did this happen?
116
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,048
Oh, fuck.
117
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,732
_
118
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,474
[JET ENGINES WHIRRING]
119
00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:46,848
The adventure begins.
120
00:04:47,296 --> 00:04:50,136
Openly polyamorous adventure.
121
00:04:51,828 --> 00:04:52,933
Yep.
122
00:04:52,965 --> 00:04:55,211
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
123
00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:58,632
[LAUGHS]
124
00:04:58,868 --> 00:05:02,117
- Oh, wait, did you...
- Uh, no.
125
00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:05,061
What's happening here, it's
called "couples privilege."
126
00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,675
You both assume the unicorn
would ride in the back.
127
00:05:07,722 --> 00:05:09,035
That's me.
128
00:05:09,155 --> 00:05:11,596
The unicorn... the third.
129
00:05:11,609 --> 00:05:13,522
So, should we rotate?
130
00:05:13,642 --> 00:05:15,972
Or where do you want to sit?
131
00:05:16,164 --> 00:05:18,764
Mm, behind the wheel.
132
00:05:18,798 --> 00:05:20,307
Cool.
133
00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,039
- You okay with that, Doctor?
- I guess so, yeah.
134
00:05:24,159 --> 00:05:25,959
Ah, thank you.
135
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:32,818
All right, buckle up, dickhead.
136
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,203
- Oh, that sounds about right.
- What's that, babe?
137
00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:37,837
Nothing. Yes, let's do this.
138
00:05:37,857 --> 00:05:40,666
- Let's do this.
- This is a big-ass car.
139
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,707
Whee!
140
00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:45,786
- Trick or treat!
- Be safe kids.
141
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,440
Aye, there, landlubber.
142
00:05:48,453 --> 00:05:49,942
How you doin', sheriff?
143
00:05:50,062 --> 00:05:52,381
It's tough to tell the stoned
teenagers from the real hookers.
144
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,867
Time to put this little octopus to bed.
145
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,555
[GRUNTS] Up and go.
146
00:05:58,464 --> 00:06:00,290
Oh, good Lord.
147
00:06:00,324 --> 00:06:03,302
Ladies, what is the
actual objective here?
148
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,203
Post-post-post-feminist empowerment.
149
00:06:06,246 --> 00:06:09,382
Mm-hmm. You playing that card? Really?
150
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,729
Hold on, I think I have some
self-esteem in here somewhere.
151
00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,126
Good one.
152
00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,248
Yeah, I love it when old
people try to be clever.
153
00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:17,667
Totes adorbs.
154
00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,263
Let's go, guys.
155
00:06:21,639 --> 00:06:25,408
Oh, look, Lori Matherfield
here in our yard.
156
00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:27,371
Jack-o'-lanterns not up to code?
157
00:06:27,708 --> 00:06:29,096
Ouch.
158
00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:30,903
I guess I deserve that, huh?
159
00:06:31,197 --> 00:06:32,774
Hey, I don't want to be a dick here,
160
00:06:32,787 --> 00:06:34,655
but we got to get inside
and put these little
161
00:06:34,674 --> 00:06:37,464
- crustaceans to bed, so...
- I... I... I was wrong
162
00:06:37,486 --> 00:06:39,631
about the Trakarskys.
163
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:43,063
Oh, no, I wouldn't beat
yourself up too bad about that.
164
00:06:43,081 --> 00:06:44,735
Too late. [CHUCKLES]
165
00:06:44,811 --> 00:06:48,039
I'm really sorry for all
of the tumult that I caused.
166
00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:49,801
Water under the bridge. You know what?
167
00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:53,504
It was confusing for all of us,
so... no blood, no foul. Okay?
168
00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:55,409
[CHUCKLES] Please.
169
00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:57,772
As if the Trakarskys
went all sexually deviant
170
00:06:57,799 --> 00:06:59,508
with some college chick
and then crafted this
171
00:06:59,535 --> 00:07:01,982
elaborate cover-up that
she was their niece...
172
00:07:01,982 --> 00:07:03,718
that is just crazy.
173
00:07:03,739 --> 00:07:05,793
- It's nut-zoid.
- Like unthinkable.
174
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,091
- Bonkers.
- Outlandish.
175
00:07:07,113 --> 00:07:08,850
Preposterous. You know, they're actually
176
00:07:08,858 --> 00:07:10,936
a very vanilla couple
if you know that term.
177
00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:13,710
- Don't even look at each other naked.
- They think HBO is porn.
178
00:07:13,721 --> 00:07:15,870
- Well, it kind of is.
- Can you believe
179
00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:19,324
that Jack turned down the
promotion and quit his job today?
180
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,410
I mean, who saw that coming?
181
00:07:21,846 --> 00:07:24,223
Oh, you... you didn't know.
182
00:07:24,224 --> 00:07:25,931
- That can't be good.
- How's that,
183
00:07:25,985 --> 00:07:27,128
Dave? What... what does that mean?
184
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,410
- Why is that not good?
- No, he just means...
185
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,723
Mid-life crisis, probably. I don't know.
186
00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:32,246
What's next? Ultimate Frisbee?
187
00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,719
- Hydroponics?
- Skinny jeans?
188
00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:35,244
- Frosted tips?
- Ironic mustache?
189
00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:37,518
[HORN HONKS]
190
00:07:40,353 --> 00:07:41,974
So, that happened.
191
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,775
Was that the niece? I thought they said
192
00:07:43,792 --> 00:07:45,514
she was leaving for, uh...
193
00:07:45,546 --> 00:07:46,592
- Jack.
- Emma.
194
00:07:46,608 --> 00:07:47,993
- Emma.
- Jack or Emma.
195
00:07:47,994 --> 00:07:49,756
Probably one of the two
Trakar... That's the Trakarsky...
196
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:51,389
- A Trakarsky was driving that car.
- ... family vehicle, yeah.
197
00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:53,113
Wouldn't have been the
third one. She left town.
198
00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:54,620
- Izzy.
- Jack's niece.
199
00:07:54,647 --> 00:07:56,431
- Yeah.
- Okay, I'm gonna...
200
00:07:57,024 --> 00:07:59,217
You people are still
just a little strange.
201
00:07:59,239 --> 00:08:01,006
- All right, nighty-night.
- Great.
202
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,696
Now what the fuck?
203
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:28,154
[LAUGHS]
204
00:08:28,155 --> 00:08:32,158
♪
205
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,105
I thought I lost you.
206
00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:29,015
♪
207
00:09:34,154 --> 00:09:35,822
[DOOR OPENS]
208
00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:38,867
What is up, hooker?
209
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,585
Were you just watching me sleep?
210
00:09:42,592 --> 00:09:46,008
Ah, the boundless
narcissism of adolescence.
211
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:48,204
So, did you know Jack Trakarsky
212
00:09:48,231 --> 00:09:50,778
declined his promotion
and quit his job yesterday?
213
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:54,241
'Cause the Amaris, they
didn't know anything about it.
214
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,644
That doesn't make any sense.
215
00:09:58,645 --> 00:10:00,248
If he didn't want to be dean,
216
00:10:00,254 --> 00:10:02,102
why go through the whole process?
217
00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:04,986
Including, I might
add, taking vats of shit
218
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:06,274
from a vindictive neighbor,
219
00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:07,873
and then back out at the last second.
220
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,580
See, that's exactly what I'm wondering.
221
00:10:14,924 --> 00:10:16,492
Fuck!
222
00:10:25,218 --> 00:10:27,158
What are you, taking a shift for Lori?
223
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,061
Is this 'cause she laughed
at one of your jokes?
224
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,678
Hey, what do I get if
I pretend you're funny?
225
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:32,079
Maybe an oral presentation?
226
00:10:32,122 --> 00:10:33,788
I shouldn't be vague about
something this important.
227
00:10:33,825 --> 00:10:35,049
I'm talking about a blowjob.
228
00:10:35,108 --> 00:10:36,482
It's almost 2:00 in the afternoon,
229
00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:38,428
and they haven't even
come out for the paper yet.
230
00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:39,948
Called Emma like seven times.
231
00:10:39,969 --> 00:10:41,743
Honey, I'm going to play one-on-one
232
00:10:41,748 --> 00:10:44,017
with Jack in a half an
hour. You want to come watch?
233
00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:47,261
Uh, yeah, you don't want that, babe.
234
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:49,295
What? Are you kidding me? Come on.
235
00:10:49,461 --> 00:10:50,954
You're not turned on by the idea of me
236
00:10:50,964 --> 00:10:52,468
waging battle on the court
and sweating a lot more
237
00:10:52,495 --> 00:10:54,958
- than everybody else?
- No, it's cool.
238
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:58,385
- It's professional.
- I can't. I just can't.
239
00:10:58,404 --> 00:11:00,478
You know, this is all
standard issue top to bottom.
240
00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:01,982
This is what the pros wear.
241
00:11:03,844 --> 00:11:06,550
The shorts are too long for
my body, though. I get that.
242
00:11:10,263 --> 00:11:12,317
[COUGHING]
243
00:11:12,484 --> 00:11:14,868
I feel like we should've worked
our way up to that, you know?
244
00:11:14,988 --> 00:11:16,229
[CHUCKLES]
245
00:11:16,273 --> 00:11:19,414
- My dick is broken.
- [LAUGHS]
246
00:11:19,463 --> 00:11:20,870
I think we're gonna have to
247
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,813
MacGyver some sort of penis splint.
248
00:11:24,169 --> 00:11:26,815
I feel like I have full-body hernia.
249
00:11:26,879 --> 00:11:28,712
Yeah, I'm so winded.
250
00:11:28,832 --> 00:11:31,094
I feel like I need to back off the weed
251
00:11:31,116 --> 00:11:33,314
or go for a walk or eat something
252
00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:36,586
that doesn't come delivered
in a cardboard box probably.
253
00:11:37,136 --> 00:11:38,596
[CLEARS THROAT]
254
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,763
That being said, you
guys want to go again?
255
00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:46,201
Mm, as long as I don't have
to move or do anything at all.
256
00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:48,638
I mean that. I mean
that literally. Like...
257
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,690
like I'm a blow-up doll.
258
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,811
- [CHUCKLES]
- I can't feel my tongue.
259
00:11:55,562 --> 00:11:56,964
Am I talking funny?
260
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,203
- No.
- No.
261
00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:02,235
[DOORBELL RINGS]
262
00:12:06,566 --> 00:12:08,550
I guess there is a world out there.
263
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,339
Mm.
264
00:12:13,647 --> 00:12:17,650
♪
265
00:12:29,255 --> 00:12:31,697
You know we have nothing
to feel guilty about, right?
266
00:12:32,532 --> 00:12:33,896
Spoiler alert...
267
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,550
guilt's not a huge
issue in my life. So...
268
00:12:42,777 --> 00:12:44,846
I see you, Nina Martone.
269
00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:47,303
I see you.
270
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:51,065
[SCOFFS]
271
00:12:51,739 --> 00:12:53,987
Okay, I'm gonna yack all over you.
272
00:12:53,988 --> 00:12:55,652
Mm.
273
00:12:56,536 --> 00:12:58,288
Guys pay you for that?
274
00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:00,942
I really want to say no, but...
275
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,854
God, please do.
276
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:06,254
I'm kidding, dumb-ass.
277
00:13:11,939 --> 00:13:13,827
Were you drunk this time?
278
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,331
No.
279
00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:24,836
Me neither.
280
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:35,495
[CELLPHONE CLICKING]
281
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:37,910
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
282
00:13:39,678 --> 00:13:42,098
♪ Could it be that I'm just caught up? ♪
283
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:44,496
Sh... she promised to call,
284
00:13:44,497 --> 00:13:48,663
and I've been texting since
last night, and nothing.
285
00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:50,792
- So...
- Neen.
286
00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:53,449
I think her plane crashed.
287
00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:55,631
You really think that her plane crashed?
288
00:13:55,674 --> 00:13:57,351
Well, obviously not. Okay, it's just...
289
00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,530
Her fiery death is better
than getting shut down?
290
00:14:03,683 --> 00:14:05,240
Okay. Okay.
291
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,611
You know what? I'm not usually
one for next-day hugging.
292
00:14:07,611 --> 00:14:09,665
Yeah, yeah, okay.
293
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,937
I do think you're right.
294
00:14:17,387 --> 00:14:19,138
Her plane almost certainly did crash.
295
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:20,960
[CHUCKLES]
296
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:26,311
[DOORBELL RINGS RAPIDLY]
297
00:14:31,744 --> 00:14:34,520
Okay, I'm... I'm... I'm
gonna keep this simple.
298
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:38,017
What the... the fuck?
299
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,784
Uh, could you possibly keep
it a little less simple?
300
00:14:41,822 --> 00:14:44,403
So, you told me that this was over.
301
00:14:44,414 --> 00:14:47,100
And now Izzy's back, Jack quit his job?
302
00:14:47,101 --> 00:14:48,607
Wait a second... did you quit your job
303
00:14:48,612 --> 00:14:50,110
so that this wouldn't have to be over?
304
00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:52,504
No, I... I quit my job...
305
00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:54,810
um...
306
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,177
I can't remember, but it was
something really profound.
307
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,570
- Oh, shit. Um, I got to go.
- What's up?
308
00:15:00,597 --> 00:15:02,739
Nina's been texting since last night.
309
00:15:02,766 --> 00:15:05,437
Pretty sure I'm walking
into a serious ass-kicking.
310
00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:07,506
Hey, Jack.
311
00:15:07,555 --> 00:15:09,274
Did you have any engagements today
312
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,853
that you may have forgotten about?
313
00:15:10,874 --> 00:15:13,814
Here's a clue. My husband's
wearing oversized shorts,
314
00:15:13,817 --> 00:15:15,746
knee socks, a headband. And God damn it,
315
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:17,536
do you know how hard
it is to unsee that shit
316
00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:20,322
- so I can have sex with him again?
- Totally forgot about that.
317
00:15:20,742 --> 00:15:21,853
Fuck.
318
00:15:22,284 --> 00:15:24,013
By the way, I agree
with you on the outfit.
319
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,778
As a man, I am embarrassed by him.
320
00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:28,470
Bye.
321
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,583
- Bye.
- Bye.
322
00:15:34,119 --> 00:15:35,105
Bye, Carmen.
323
00:15:35,127 --> 00:15:36,680
- Bye, Izzy.
- Have a nice day.
324
00:15:36,696 --> 00:15:39,397
- Is that your bra?
- No, that's mine.
325
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:40,911
So, what are you saying?
You don't dig this either?
326
00:15:40,932 --> 00:15:43,519
Carmen said this was, like,
sexually off-putting to her.
327
00:15:43,541 --> 00:15:45,573
How is that possible? It's
regulation top to bottom.
328
00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:46,780
Look at this. You can get a little
329
00:15:46,785 --> 00:15:49,269
- nipple slip on the side for free.
- That is absurd.
330
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:51,398
- Absurd?
- It's like a little retro, too.
331
00:15:51,436 --> 00:15:53,042
You look like you're in,
like, a '70s porn movie.
332
00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,607
That's exactly what I was going for.
333
00:15:55,618 --> 00:15:57,112
And you know what? At
least I showed up on time
334
00:15:57,117 --> 00:15:58,866
- to play in some games.
- [SIGHS] Sorry, man.
335
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,513
Ridiculous. Your time
management is ridiculous.
336
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,776
- Okay, fine, just go.
- So what's the deal?
337
00:16:01,811 --> 00:16:03,479
The three of you are
back together now? Huh?
338
00:16:03,773 --> 00:16:04,734
For how long?
339
00:16:04,738 --> 00:16:06,937
You gonna play out this whole
four-week contract, or what?
340
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,773
In.
341
00:16:09,739 --> 00:16:11,111
Actually, she's moving in.
342
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:12,719
We're throupling.
343
00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:15,146
- Throupling?
- Yeah, it's a word.
344
00:16:15,159 --> 00:16:17,065
If that's a word, it is fucking stupid,
345
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,319
and you should never use it.
346
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,238
Although, I mean, this whole
thing is fucking stupid.
347
00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:22,342
So why shouldn't you make
up your own vocabulary.
348
00:16:22,354 --> 00:16:23,825
- It's not stupid.
- Off.
349
00:16:24,174 --> 00:16:25,865
Are you seriously worried
350
00:16:25,866 --> 00:16:28,435
that your children will be scarred
because three consenting adults
351
00:16:28,439 --> 00:16:29,771
live across the street from you?
352
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,116
I am, which surprises
me, and I resent it.
353
00:16:32,306 --> 00:16:34,143
I blame you for making me feel uncool
354
00:16:34,169 --> 00:16:37,920
in a highly Matherfield kind of way.
355
00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:41,184
We've exposed your inner Lori.
356
00:16:41,947 --> 00:16:43,452
That is cruel.
357
00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:44,689
More.
358
00:16:44,707 --> 00:16:46,276
We're in love. I'm in
love with both of them.
359
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,005
Oh, you're in love with both of them?
360
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,397
Equally?
361
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:51,799
Your wife of nine years
and the escort you hired
362
00:16:51,838 --> 00:16:53,920
five minutes ago... you love
them both the same, even Steven?
363
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,161
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
364
00:16:55,162 --> 00:16:57,020
Remember that I said this, Jackson.
365
00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:58,585
This is all gonna end
very badly for you.
366
00:16:58,598 --> 00:16:59,710
Thanks for the support, man.
367
00:16:59,711 --> 00:17:01,525
It's a bit more ominous
than I expected, but thanks.
368
00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:03,911
- What friends are for. Off.
- Swish.
369
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,284
This is right here. You
know what I'm saying?
370
00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:09,165
Our long-time best
friends, who live directly
371
00:17:09,181 --> 00:17:11,640
across the street,
invite some college chick
372
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,488
into their marriage on a full-time basis
373
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:16,334
to live in their house
and sleep in their bed.
374
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:17,758
I'm just... I'm not down with it,
375
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:19,697
and that makes me feel
douchey, which, again,
376
00:17:19,698 --> 00:17:21,072
I fucking resent.
377
00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:23,799
Look at me.
378
00:17:24,236 --> 00:17:25,519
So now you're hitting on me
379
00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:27,302
- like that's gonna fix everything?
- Carmen, look at me.
380
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:29,707
- Look at me.
- Whatever.
381
00:17:29,708 --> 00:17:31,151
Look at me.
382
00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,778
You have never been cool.
383
00:17:34,336 --> 00:17:36,314
I'm shocked to hear you think otherwise.
384
00:17:36,315 --> 00:17:37,666
[CHUCKLES]
385
00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:40,334
Hey, let's find out how
that blouse looks in red.
386
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:41,865
Come here.
387
00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:44,570
Okay, fine.
388
00:17:44,619 --> 00:17:46,657
If you need to feel me
up, I won't fight it.
389
00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:49,124
Oh, but it might be
more fun if you struggle.
390
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,175
- God, you are such a perv now.
- I know.
391
00:17:52,207 --> 00:17:54,557
You know Emma was into
chicks in college, right?
392
00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:56,902
Yeah. I think I'd know that.
393
00:17:56,935 --> 00:17:58,292
She's my fucking wife, so
I know everything about her.
394
00:17:58,309 --> 00:17:59,796
Okay, so you've known the whole time?
395
00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:01,096
[SIGHS] No, she told me right after
396
00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:03,338
- she made out with Izzy in the bathroom.
- Oh, okay.
397
00:18:03,364 --> 00:18:06,410
So Carmen, she told years ago,
398
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,345
- but you, she kept it a secret from.
- What's your point?
399
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,112
I'm just saying, she seemed pretty eager
400
00:18:11,139 --> 00:18:12,551
to get back on that bike.
401
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,015
Seemed to remember how to
ride it pretty good, too.
402
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:16,880
- Off.
- What are you saying? That she's...
403
00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:18,487
like, Emma's like gay-gay?
404
00:18:18,503 --> 00:18:20,879
Like the last 11 years with
me was just an experiment?
405
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,641
No, maybe she's right
down the middle, 50/50,
406
00:18:25,029 --> 00:18:27,735
equal-opportunity bisexual. Or...
407
00:18:28,927 --> 00:18:31,497
maybe she decided she likes
one flavor more than another,
408
00:18:31,537 --> 00:18:33,314
if you catch my drift. Off.
409
00:18:34,802 --> 00:18:37,575
- What are you getting at?
- We both know what you need to do.
410
00:18:37,695 --> 00:18:39,559
Maybe you can give me a hint.
411
00:18:41,796 --> 00:18:44,162
Get some chloroform
and a rag and a crate,
412
00:18:44,194 --> 00:18:46,662
and you ship Miss Sex
Fairy back to Botslavia.
413
00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:48,152
That is so offensive.
414
00:18:48,153 --> 00:18:50,041
- First of all, I mean, chloroform?
- Offensive to who?
415
00:18:50,055 --> 00:18:51,526
People from Botslavia?
That's not a real place.
416
00:18:51,556 --> 00:18:53,708
Jesus Christ, man. Think
about what you're saying.
417
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:56,126
The point I'm making is you
hightail her ass out of here.
418
00:18:56,246 --> 00:18:58,437
Nobody's taking anybody anywhere, okay?
419
00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,149
This is happening. We are happening.
420
00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:01,766
Wipe that look off your face.
421
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,983
I don't want to see that
look. We are happening.
422
00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:06,537
You really sound like you're
trying to convince somebody.
423
00:19:06,538 --> 00:19:09,266
- Is it me, or is it you?
- I'm not trying to convince anybody.
424
00:19:09,808 --> 00:19:11,713
You do remember we're
having everybody over
425
00:19:11,729 --> 00:19:12,985
for the game tomorrow, right?
426
00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,546
The Matherfields are coming.
427
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,696
Gabe and Marie, too.
428
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,484
Oh. Don't be ridiculous.
429
00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:21,069
You know I live for
430
00:19:21,139 --> 00:19:23,801
parties built around
televised sporting...
431
00:19:24,448 --> 00:19:26,632
- matches.
- Football. It's called football.
432
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:29,450
Mm, and I've thought of little
else since you invited us.
433
00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:31,852
Yeah, well, the point is...
434
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,443
are you bringing Izzy?
435
00:19:36,491 --> 00:19:38,090
[BANG ON DOOR]
436
00:19:40,332 --> 00:19:42,849
Margaritas and drive-through burritos.
437
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:45,816
I remember when that was
our thing, like a week ago.
438
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,015
It just had to be the tequila.
439
00:19:48,074 --> 00:19:49,470
Cuervo's law.
440
00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:53,442
Where the fuck have you been?
441
00:19:53,862 --> 00:19:55,398
They came after me.
442
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,921
It was super-romantic. It was like...
443
00:19:57,943 --> 00:19:59,333
- Ow!
- And you didn't call and tell me this?
444
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,088
You couldn't respond to
just one of my 8,000 texts?
445
00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,548
What about you?
446
00:20:03,748 --> 00:20:06,174
Breaking all kinds of girl code with
447
00:20:06,201 --> 00:20:09,871
Andy's penis and burritos and tequila.
448
00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:11,429
Best scavenger hunt ever.
449
00:20:12,226 --> 00:20:13,994
Okay, look, if you guys want
me to go, I could just...
450
00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:15,141
- Go.
- Go.
451
00:20:15,346 --> 00:20:16,407
Whoa.
452
00:20:16,408 --> 00:20:17,734
Sorry, Boo.
453
00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:18,923
Boo?
454
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,122
Yeah, I'm bringing it back.
455
00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:21,721
- Really?
- Really.
456
00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:24,630
- Ugh!
- [GAGS, COUGHS]
457
00:20:25,313 --> 00:20:26,103
Ow!
458
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,766
- Okay, bye.
- [COUGHS]
459
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:30,310
God, do you know how
ridiculous you sound?
460
00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:33,358
- [GRUNTS]
- [SCREAMS]
461
00:20:34,181 --> 00:20:37,138
- [GROANING]
- How does that feel, huh?
462
00:20:37,296 --> 00:20:38,629
[MUFFLED SCREAM]
463
00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:39,964
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
464
00:20:39,965 --> 00:20:41,454
Stop, fuck, truce!
465
00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:42,756
Ow!
466
00:20:43,139 --> 00:20:44,282
Ow.
467
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:45,809
Ow, I should have seen that coming.
468
00:20:45,818 --> 00:20:47,266
Obvious counter-move.
469
00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:48,572
[SIGHS] Ouch.
470
00:20:48,573 --> 00:20:49,953
See how worried I've been?
471
00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,575
I hoped your plane crashed.
472
00:20:51,695 --> 00:20:54,290
- You mean you thought my plane crashed?
- No, I hoped
473
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,816
your plane crashed because
that's the only acceptable excuse
474
00:20:56,824 --> 00:20:58,239
for not fucking calling me.
475
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,360
You're right. I'm sorry.
476
00:21:00,976 --> 00:21:02,186
Well, you should be.
477
00:21:02,614 --> 00:21:04,050
You're cleaning that shit up.
478
00:21:04,274 --> 00:21:05,417
I will.
479
00:21:17,024 --> 00:21:18,787
[BOTH SIGH]
480
00:21:22,517 --> 00:21:24,561
So, what's going on with you?
481
00:21:24,578 --> 00:21:26,566
You dating the Griswolds or what?
482
00:21:33,154 --> 00:21:34,680
What are you doing?
483
00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:39,676
My November rent.
484
00:21:40,276 --> 00:21:42,803
Only fair, 'cause I
didn't give you any notice.
485
00:21:43,686 --> 00:21:44,605
No.
486
00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:46,097
[SCOFFS]
487
00:21:48,472 --> 00:21:49,296
Yes.
488
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,263
Don't bother inviting me to any of the
489
00:21:51,297 --> 00:21:53,242
dumb-ass block parties
or barbecues, okay?
490
00:21:53,259 --> 00:21:55,997
Come on, Nin. We're best friends.
491
00:21:55,997 --> 00:21:57,524
Did you seriously just BFF me,
492
00:21:57,541 --> 00:22:00,076
- you condescending little carpet muncher?
- Homophobia...
493
00:22:00,339 --> 00:22:02,628
- that's very classy.
- Fuck off.
494
00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:04,863
- Nina, come on.
- You know what?
495
00:22:04,883 --> 00:22:07,074
Suddenly I don't give a shit, okay?
496
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:08,333
So get out,
497
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,820
'cause I got to get pretty for your ex.
498
00:22:10,886 --> 00:22:13,443
Yeah, tequila makes us really frisky.
499
00:22:15,956 --> 00:22:17,405
That's very sweet.
500
00:22:20,996 --> 00:22:23,323
Hope it works out for you, rebound girl.
501
00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:27,497
Yeah, you better fucking run!
502
00:22:28,206 --> 00:22:31,386
♪
503
00:22:48,015 --> 00:22:53,219
- ♪ A word never hurt ♪
- [DOOR OPENS]
504
00:22:57,298 --> 00:22:58,501
Hey, babe.
505
00:22:59,971 --> 00:23:00,993
Hey.
506
00:23:02,463 --> 00:23:04,222
Uh-oh, what happened here?
507
00:23:05,046 --> 00:23:06,577
You're gonna need that.
508
00:23:06,908 --> 00:23:07,809
Okay.
509
00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:09,129
Told him to keep them coming.
510
00:23:09,453 --> 00:23:11,617
I said, "Keep them coming, sugar tits."
511
00:23:12,509 --> 00:23:14,036
Always wanted to say that.
512
00:23:14,049 --> 00:23:15,989
Only I didn't say "sugar tits."
513
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,697
I hope not. Otherwise these
would probably be urine shots.
514
00:23:18,723 --> 00:23:20,818
[CHUCKLES] Yum.
515
00:23:21,326 --> 00:23:22,995
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
516
00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,597
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
517
00:23:27,185 --> 00:23:28,151
Hey, you.
518
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:29,367
- Hey.
- Hi.
519
00:23:29,601 --> 00:23:31,423
Wow, it went well for you, too, huh?
520
00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:32,635
Yep.
521
00:23:33,695 --> 00:23:35,920
It was fucking awesome.
522
00:23:36,562 --> 00:23:39,399
After jamming most of my
own hand down my throat,
523
00:23:39,442 --> 00:23:42,300
my best friend called me
a homewrecking psychopath
524
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:44,896
and then threw me out
so she could pork my ex.
525
00:23:45,534 --> 00:23:47,461
- Such a complicated friendship.
- Mm.
526
00:23:48,224 --> 00:23:50,315
The fighting part used to be fun.
527
00:23:50,962 --> 00:23:53,514
You know, Dave also cast
you as the homewrecker.
528
00:23:53,575 --> 00:23:55,080
Sweet. Do tell.
529
00:23:55,114 --> 00:23:57,146
Yeah, he said you are a sex fairy
530
00:23:57,357 --> 00:24:00,371
and that we should pack you
up and ship you far, far away.
531
00:24:01,479 --> 00:24:02,661
A sex fairy?
532
00:24:02,665 --> 00:24:04,114
- I know.
- Carmen...
533
00:24:04,184 --> 00:24:05,796
Carmen came this close to saying
534
00:24:05,809 --> 00:24:07,766
that we don't belong in
the neighborhood anymore.
535
00:24:07,943 --> 00:24:10,655
Yeah, and then she blamed me
for making her feel uncool.
536
00:24:10,775 --> 00:24:12,108
[SCOFFS]
537
00:24:12,228 --> 00:24:15,005
Bougie, judgmental, suburban assholes.
538
00:24:15,125 --> 00:24:16,259
So, are we getting fucked up?
539
00:24:16,712 --> 00:24:17,715
Apparently so.
540
00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:19,383
Yeah, and you know what? After,
541
00:24:19,503 --> 00:24:21,550
we're gonna egg some houses, bitches.
542
00:24:21,856 --> 00:24:22,589
- Mnh-mnh.
- Yes.
543
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:23,499
- Well... no.
- Mnh-mnh.
544
00:24:23,512 --> 00:24:25,513
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- No, I will not be doing that.
545
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,086
- Why?
- Bitches won't be egging any houses.
546
00:24:27,107 --> 00:24:29,237
But I do agree with the sentiment.
547
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,328
[SIGHS] What's the sentiment?
548
00:24:31,742 --> 00:24:34,265
You walked out of the
Hamilton School for a reason.
549
00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:37,058
Right. What was my statement?
550
00:24:37,408 --> 00:24:39,136
Wh... what was it, again?
551
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:41,599
It was a declaration of independence.
552
00:24:41,883 --> 00:24:44,267
Yeah, right. We'll go
with that, definitely.
553
00:24:45,009 --> 00:24:47,932
Yeah, I mean, we... people,
we're making a choice.
554
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:51,351
This is our life.
555
00:24:52,442 --> 00:24:53,617
Our lives.
556
00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:57,008
These are our...
557
00:24:58,349 --> 00:24:59,358
- lives.
- Honey.
558
00:24:59,396 --> 00:25:00,699
Come on, you know what I mean.
559
00:25:00,819 --> 00:25:02,405
I'm... I'm pretty drunk.
560
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:05,432
- You're drunk but right. Fucking testify.
- Yeah. Yeah, okay.
561
00:25:05,454 --> 00:25:07,766
I'll testify. We're
gonna walk into that party
562
00:25:07,970 --> 00:25:10,406
with our hands high and our heads held.
563
00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:12,546
- It's the reverse, but, yes.
- That was right.
564
00:25:12,573 --> 00:25:14,536
- Yeah, the sentiment was there.
- Yeah. Yeah.
565
00:25:14,539 --> 00:25:16,942
Yeah, because we are
taxpaying adult citizens.
566
00:25:16,951 --> 00:25:19,227
- Right, some of us are.
- Yeah.
567
00:25:19,275 --> 00:25:21,542
Okay, well, I... I got
paid in cash. But whatever.
568
00:25:21,555 --> 00:25:23,435
You know what I mean.
This is our choice,
569
00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:25,259
and this is what we want.
570
00:25:25,379 --> 00:25:27,999
- Am I right, people? I am right.
- You are right.
571
00:25:28,034 --> 00:25:30,427
Could you possibly
keep it down over there?
572
00:25:30,655 --> 00:25:31,906
[CHUCKLES]
573
00:25:31,940 --> 00:25:35,334
- Could you possibly blow me, Ann Coulter?
- [WOMAN GASPS]
574
00:25:36,882 --> 00:25:38,541
- [CHUCKLES] That was awesome.
- Yikes.
575
00:25:38,563 --> 00:25:39,818
A little bit scary.
576
00:25:39,848 --> 00:25:41,857
Um, okay. Is the... speech is over?
577
00:25:41,866 --> 00:25:43,327
'Cause my arm's getting
tired. Can we drink these?
578
00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:44,409
Let's do it.
579
00:25:44,728 --> 00:25:45,638
Cheers, guys.
580
00:25:47,199 --> 00:25:48,117
Mm-hmm.
581
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,018
Mm.
582
00:25:50,580 --> 00:25:52,817
So now we need to make our statement.
583
00:25:53,179 --> 00:25:54,676
Right, like a protest.
584
00:25:54,732 --> 00:25:56,780
Protest. Protest.
585
00:25:56,939 --> 00:26:00,708
It... It needs to be
something that says,
586
00:26:01,410 --> 00:26:03,208
- "Fuck all y'all."
- Yeah.
587
00:26:03,795 --> 00:26:05,951
Yeah, like, something like...
588
00:26:06,352 --> 00:26:08,245
something like fuck all y'all!
589
00:26:08,297 --> 00:26:11,078
That was exactly the same
thing, just yelling it louder.
590
00:26:11,162 --> 00:26:13,414
- Mm-hmm.
- Think maybe, like, a new statement?
591
00:26:14,134 --> 00:26:16,035
What is our statement? It's...
592
00:26:16,089 --> 00:26:17,700
- just do it.
- Um...
593
00:26:17,727 --> 00:26:19,463
- Just...
- Do it.
594
00:26:19,504 --> 00:26:21,295
- Just do it.
- No, 'cause I think that's taken.
595
00:26:21,321 --> 00:26:22,921
- That's taken.
- Well, three's, uh...
596
00:26:22,938 --> 00:26:24,619
- Um...
- Three's not company.
597
00:26:24,689 --> 00:26:27,192
... a crowd, but not now.
598
00:26:27,398 --> 00:26:30,447
Poly power. Domestic bliss with a twist.
599
00:26:30,448 --> 00:26:32,850
Thrice for the throuple.
600
00:26:33,030 --> 00:26:35,419
- Three's...
- Thrice for the throuple!
601
00:26:35,420 --> 00:26:37,520
Do you know the word
"cunt" used to be...
602
00:26:37,522 --> 00:26:40,284
it meant "cozy" when Chaucer used it.
603
00:26:40,322 --> 00:26:41,658
Excuse me, buddy?
604
00:26:41,659 --> 00:26:42,941
Can we have a couple more?
605
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:45,649
- Mm. No.
- Oh. So, V.V.P.
606
00:26:45,664 --> 00:26:47,055
You down with V.V.P.?
607
00:26:47,081 --> 00:26:48,738
- Vagina, vagina, penis?
- Yeah.
608
00:26:48,763 --> 00:26:50,497
- No.
- Yeah, you know me?
609
00:26:50,991 --> 00:26:54,219
V.V.P.! Yeah, you know me! I love it.
610
00:26:54,261 --> 00:26:55,874
Oh, my God, these are
the worst statements ever.
611
00:26:55,895 --> 00:26:57,426
I know. Um...
612
00:26:57,447 --> 00:26:58,715
I got nothing.
613
00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:02,428
You know what?
614
00:27:02,781 --> 00:27:05,178
Let's just keep drinking and just...
615
00:27:05,235 --> 00:27:07,493
and... and let the
statement reveal itself.
616
00:27:07,613 --> 00:27:09,261
- Right, yeah.
- Barkeep.
617
00:27:09,468 --> 00:27:10,507
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
618
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:15,594
[EXHALES]
619
00:27:15,894 --> 00:27:17,494
[HORN HONKING]
620
00:27:17,495 --> 00:27:18,762
[TATTOO GUN BUZZES]
621
00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,497
[LAUGHTER]
622
00:27:20,498 --> 00:27:22,401
[SLURRING] Another one, sugar tits.
623
00:27:22,461 --> 00:27:24,769
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
624
00:27:25,716 --> 00:27:27,572
Oh, like it was all my idea?
625
00:27:29,597 --> 00:27:31,645
You're right... it was
probably all my idea.
626
00:27:32,939 --> 00:27:34,244
Oh, my God, it's 1:00.
627
00:27:34,539 --> 00:27:36,402
Dave and Carm's party is, like, now.
628
00:27:36,522 --> 00:27:38,880
[SIGHS] We can't go. They'll see these.
629
00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,103
Mm.
630
00:27:40,152 --> 00:27:42,242
No, they wouldn't,
unless we go bottomless.
631
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:44,252
- And that would be super weird.
- Ah.
632
00:27:44,657 --> 00:27:46,226
Good point.
633
00:27:46,641 --> 00:27:47,991
We're doing this.
634
00:27:48,111 --> 00:27:50,786
- We are?
- Fuck yeah, we are.
635
00:27:50,906 --> 00:27:52,640
♪
636
00:27:52,662 --> 00:27:55,340
♪ You know what it is, man ♪
637
00:27:55,885 --> 00:27:58,693
♪ I've been doin' biz, man ♪
638
00:27:59,340 --> 00:28:02,014
♪ Gettin' how you live, man ♪
639
00:28:02,407 --> 00:28:04,498
♪ Uh, uh, uh ♪
640
00:28:04,618 --> 00:28:07,861
♪ Ooh, yeah, girl,
rumspringa, rumspringa ♪
641
00:28:08,243 --> 00:28:11,731
♪ When we come through,
watch how they bring-a ♪
642
00:28:11,763 --> 00:28:14,414
♪ We ain't givin' no
kids middle fingers ♪
643
00:28:14,468 --> 00:28:16,236
♪ What's up? ♪
644
00:28:17,222 --> 00:28:18,478
♪ What's up? ♪
645
00:28:18,598 --> 00:28:24,105
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
646
00:28:24,762 --> 00:28:26,111
♪ What's up? ♪
647
00:28:26,127 --> 00:28:27,618
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
648
00:28:27,657 --> 00:28:28,895
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
649
00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:31,116
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
650
00:28:31,236 --> 00:28:32,482
♪ What's up? ♪
651
00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:39,443
♪ What's up? ♪
652
00:28:39,444 --> 00:28:41,321
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
653
00:28:41,321 --> 00:28:42,300
♪ What's up, boy? ♪
654
00:28:42,313 --> 00:28:43,555
♪ What's up? ♪
655
00:28:45,292 --> 00:28:47,033
♪ We're shooting in the cut ♪
656
00:28:47,037 --> 00:28:50,919
♪ I wait damn once just to put ♪
657
00:28:50,922 --> 00:28:52,329
♪ Butterflies up in this ♪
658
00:28:52,381 --> 00:28:53,858
♪ What's up? ♪
47362
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