All language subtitles for Young.Sheldon.S05E16.A.Suitcase.Full.of.Cash.and.a.Yellow.Clown.Car.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Previously on Young Sheldon... Apparently,

the football boosters think
I'm not doing my job.

You know you're gonna have
to talk to them, right?

Yes.

Maybe I should come.

I'm not gonna
insult their children.

You sure?

Okay, come.

I got a question.

Go ahead, Roy.

What in the hell
were you thinking

punting with a minute 24
on the clock?

Meeting's over.

There it is.

The Cooper Surrender.

Bye-bye.

Guess what,
I'm buying a laundromat.

So there's a secret back room

at the laundromat
where you gamble?

Give me a sense

for how illegal this is.

Who says it's illegal?

Well, why is it a secret?

Okay, it's illegal.

Today I thought we could talk
about relationships,
so I've invited my lovely wife
Amy to help.

so I've invited my lovely wife
Amy to help.

Thanks for letting me join in.

Are you jealous
when I do this without you?

No.
Because one of
the most common sources

of conflict
in relationships is jealousy.

Now, Amy, did you know
jealousy is triggered

in the left part
of the cerebral cortex?

I'm sorry, are you about
to explain neuroscience

to your wife, the Nobel
Prize-winning neuroscientist?

Yes. Jealous?
I'll tell you when there
isn't

a microphone in front of us.
Ooh, mystery.

That'll keep
a relationship on its toes.

Your bathroom schedule
is on the refrigerator.

We have no mystery.

Moving on, physical intimacy.

I believe I said
"physical intimacy,"

which can pose another
challenge in relationships.

Especially when one partner
doesn't want to be intimate

as frequently as the other.

Ooh, who are we talking about?

Don't tell me.

Let the mystery continue.

Just read the next one.

Money is a frequent source
of conflict in a relationship.

Thankfully that's never
been a problem for us.

Says the woman who took away
my comic book allowance.

To start a college fund
for our children.

Comic books are an investment.

There are better places

to invest our money than that
weird wolf man you like.

His name is Wolverine
and you know it.

Okay we're off on a tangent.
I'm taking over.

Money can be a source
of conflict in a relationship,

even having too much.

Wh... Hey, this is my story.

I know. Jealous?

I need to show you something.

Okay.
Now, don't freak out.

Well, that's not helping.

Whoa.

The gambling room's doing well.

I can see that, Scarface.
But why is it here?

Well, I can't exactly
take it down to the bank.

Why not?
They'd bust me
for money laundering.

Well, it's small bills.
Tell them you're a stripper.

It's $14,000.

Well, tell them
you're a good stripper.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

Grandmas love
to spoil their grandchildren.

Especially when the grandma
has a suitcase full of cash

she doesn't know
what to do with.

Whoa.
Oh, my.

Did you mean to give us
ten dollar bills?

Because these are hundreds.

I'm gonna kick your ass.

I know it's a lot,

but why not see you enjoy it

while I'm still around?

Ooh, there's
an inheritance, too?

Well, depends on how
you treat me in my golden years.

I'm not interested
in your money, Meemaw.

You're pretty and I love you.

Now, don't you have something
to say to me?

Thank you.
I'm rich.

Morning.

So, how you holding up?

What does that mean?

Nothing.

What?

There's no easy way to say this,

so I'm just
gonna say it.

I was at a meeting last night
with the boosters.

Without me?

They might've thought
that would be uncomfortable,

seeing as it was about you.

About me how?

Well, they were
floating the idea

of me being head coach
next year.

What the hell, Wayne?

I didn't know what it
was gonna be about.

Well, what did you tell them?

Look, I want you
to keep your job.

Well, then tell them
you're not interested.

But...

if you're not gonna
keep your job,

I want your job.

Really? You want to spend
your days coaching lazy kids

and getting yelled at
by their parents?

Come on, George.

Don't forget the dirty looks
after you lose,

like you're the one that fumbled
on the three-yard line.

That's the job you want?

It's called coaching, George.

I mean, how could Wayne

stab me in the back like this?

I don't think Wayne
stabbed you in the back.

Can you please
just agree with me?

Sorry.

So, what happens now?

I don't know. I guess
I wait and see if I'm fired.

Well, if that happens, you
can always get another job.

Medford has one high school.

Another job could mean moving.

But our roots are here.

My mom is here.

So, moving's got its upsides.

Didn't Sheldon's college
talk to you

about coaching there once?

That's right, they did.

And you know the president

pretty well now.
I do.

And they're used to losing,
so it's low pressure.

Thank you.

You have a calculator
I can borrow?

Yes, but I'm using it.

No, you're not.

Why do you need
a calculator?

I'm trying to figure out
what to spend my money on.

What are you gonna
do with yours?

I'm glad you asked.

I'm dipping my toe
in the exciting world

of the stock market
by purchasing three shares

of RadioShack.
Why?

Well, as a shareholder,
I'll be partial owner

of my very favorite company.

See, when companies go public,
they sell shares of stock...

I'll just buy my own calculator.

Thank you for seeing me,
President Hagemeyer.

Of course.
My door is open to all Coopers.

Even Alice Cooper, who
I've always found oddly sexy.

Don't think we're related,

but if I meet him,
I'll let him know.

So, what can I do for you?

When y'all were
first recruiting Sheldon,

you offered me a chance to head
up your football program.

And you turned us down.

I was right in the middle
of rebuilding

Medford's team, but now,

I'm ready for a new challenge.

Well, Mr. Cooper...

Please, call me Coach.

Oh, and this just
occurred to me,

but, uh, if I were here,

I could help
keep an eye on Sheldon,

take some of the burden off you.

Oh, your son is no burden.

He's a pain in the ass, ma'am.
You can say it.

Well, whether he is
or he isn't...
He is.

...we don't have
a football team anymore.

What?

You're a university in Texas.

We are a science-focused
university.

But you got that whole stadium.

Well, we still have soccer.

Oh.

What-what about Texas A&M?

Pretty sure they have
a football program.

Yeah, if that doesn't work,
maybe I'll try the Cowboys.

Hey, reach for the stars.

George?

Hey, Dale.

Surprised to see you here.

Are you?

Not even a little.

You ever hear of a Texas college
that only plays soccer?

Can I get a beer first

before we start
with the hard questions?

I went to Sheldon's college
for a possible coaching gig.

They don't even have
a team anymore.

Huh. So you're looking
for a new job?

Something like that.

Well, there's plenty
of teams out there.

Yeah, but I'm starting to think

it's gonna be
the same BS wherever I go.

That's how I feel about life.

Wherever I go...

Yeah.

You ever think about
doing something different?

Well, I played football,
I coach football,

I watch a lot of football.

So unless sitting here
becomes a job...

How about selling footballs?

You mean, like, at your store?

Yeah. I could always
use the help.

I'm not looking for a handout.

That's not what this is.

I'd love to have more time off.

And it could be nice to have
someone at the store

who I could trust.

Well, thanks, uh...

I'll think about it.

Well, don't thank me,
I'm just taking advantage

of your crappy situation.

How do you know I'm not
taking advantage of yours?

Because I'm a very
successful businessman,

and you're sitting here
in the middle of the day.

Well, you're here, too.

You were here first.

I'd only been
a shareholder for one day

and I was already reveling
in the giddy thrill

in being part owner
of a thriving tech company.

Hello, RadioShack.
Sheldon Cooper, shareholder.

I just wanted to let you know
I'm so excited

to be part of the team.

While I sound young,
rest assured,

I'm far more intelligent
than my age would imply.

So if there's anything
I can do to help,

budgeting, product design,
finding a word

more impressive than "shack,"
I'm your man.

My sister had taken
a different path with her money.

What is that?

It's a cotton candy machine.
Why?

It's a machine that makes
free cotton candy.

It's not free, you paid for it.

Meemaw paid for it.

And it's still better
than lame stocks.

You're going to end up
with a stomach ache

while I get to be
part of America's

favorite electronics retailer.

Really? George is gonna
work at your store?

Yeah, well,
he's gonna give it a try

on nights and weekends,
see if he likes it.

Hmm. And what if he does?

Well, hopefully,
I can start stepping back.

To do what?

Well, I got money in the bank,

and you got some in a suitcase.

Well, we could
put it together,

we could travel,
we could buy a vacation home.

Well, I can't just up and leave.

I mean, I got the gambling room.

Georgie can take care of that,
and besides, what's the use

of having all that money
and not enjoying it?

I guess.

God, we could go to Mexico

and get a cabana

and spend days on the beach.

And our nights on the toilet?

Yeah, doesn't sound half bad.

What's up?

I figured out you can put

all kinds of candy
in the machine.

Try this.

Why is it brown?

It's butterscotch
from Meemaw's candy bowl.

I think that candy's
older than you.

Doesn't taste like it.

Not bad.

I'm gonna bring
a bunch to school.

How much you gonna
charge for it?

Nothing. They're my friends.

You think Ronald McDonald
let his friends eat for free?

Ronald McDonald isn't real.

The point is, you shouldn't
give this away for free.

How much would I even charge?

Hmm. How about 50 cents?

They only cost me, like,
two cents to make.

Yeah, but you're not
factoring in your time

and the cost of the
machine you bought

and the value
of the brainpower it took

to think of butterscotch
cotton candy.

Yeah. No one else thought
of putting old-lady candy

in a cotton candy machine.

Why should they get it for free?

Welcome to business.

Thank you for having me.

While my sister was
starting her business,

I was trying to save mine.

Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.

may I speak
to CEO John Roach, please?

It's regarding our stock
taking a small dip,

and I'd like to hear
his game plan.

Well, I'm busy, too,
but I made the time to call.

Fine, may I please
speak to your COO?

CFO? CTO?

Hello?

Oh, no, t-these are great shoes,

but at his age, he's
gonna grow out of them

before you hit the parking lot.

These are
just as good,

and they're gonna
save you a little money.

Thank you.

Take them up to the counter,

I'll be right there
to ring them up.

George.

You realize you're
on commission, don't you?

You know what you never
grow out of? Socks.

I'm gonna grab you some socks.

How about some
wristbands?

Hey. What are you doing here?

I came to take you to dinner.

Really? Uh, I'll grab my keys.

No need. I'll drive tonight.

But you might want
to grab a jacket.

♪ Riding along
in my automobile... ♪

You actually bought this thing?

It's fun, huh?

I feel like I'm riding
in a banana.

Oh, come on.
It's a beautiful day.

The top is down.

Feel that wind. Yeah,

I feel the wind.
I just can't feel my feet.

Well, put your seat back.

If I put it any further back,
I'd be in the trunk.

Starting to wish
I had put you in the trunk.

What are you doing now?

Keeping the bugs
out of my mouth.

Mom, savor this moment.

Can you take me to church?

Uh, I'm a little busy.

Can it wait?
No. I've come up

with a plan to bolster
RadioShack's market share,

and I need to fax it
to corporate.

I'll tell you what,

I'll take it with me
in the morning and do it then.

But our stock is in a slump,

and CompUSA
is nipping at our heels.

If you really want
to be helpful,

you could set the table.

Why should I help you
with your job

if you won't help me with mine?

Sheldon.
This is important.

My plan is to turn RadioShack
into a shopping destination,

a megastore
complete with restaurants

and games and electronics.

Kind of like Six Flags,

except with less screaming
and vomit.

I'm not taking you.

How can I be a
business tycoon

if my mommy won't
drive me places?

George?

Roy.

You work here now?

Yeah, just nights and weekends

since you

and the boosters
are gunning for my neck.

Hey, it's nothing personal.

Mm, good to know. I'll be sure

to tell the bank
that has my mortgage.

How many losing seasons are
we supposed to put up with

before we make a change?

Frankly, I'm surprised
you lasted this long.

You're lucky
I'm working right now.

I ain't here to cause trouble.

Something I can help you with?

Just a little fishing tackle.

Follow me.

♪ We're gonna dance tonight. ♪

Want to split a pitcher
of margaritas?

Oh, something we can both enjoy?

That doesn't sound like you.

I'm sorry, what?

Don't worry about it.

What, you-you
just gonna sit there

and pout and not tell me?

I was talking
about us traveling together,

and instead, you went out
and bought a yellow clown car.

You're the one who told me to go
out and have fun with my money.

I meant something fun for us.

Why us? It's my money.

You made that perfectly clear.

It's just a car.

It's not just a car.

I think you got scared.

Scared of what?

I was talking about our future,

and you panicked.

I think I've got
a successful business

and my own money
and you can't handle it.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Really.

What can I get started for you?

Actually, I think we're leaving.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'll have the enchiladas.

So, I said 70 cents for one
or two for a dollar,

and everyone bought two.

People love a deal.

I know. I sold out.

Then you got to start
charging more.
How much more?

Just raise the price
a little at a time

until you see
your profits top out.

I'm learning, but it's fun.

This is weird.

What do you mean,
he hasn't read my fax?

Is he aware I'm a shareholder?

Well, where's
the next shareholders' meeting?

Fort Worth?

I could barely get my mom
to drive me to church.

Think they'd pay
a dollar apiece?
Sure.

Just tell them
it's a special limited edition.

People go nuts for that.

Like the Shamrock Shake.

Exactly.

Every year, I'm like,
"This tastes like toothpaste."

But every year, I buy it.

Well, I'll just tell you, then.

Imagine
an electronics megastore.

Actually, "mega" doesn't cut it.

Imagine
an electronics yottastore.

Yotta.
It's ten to the 24th power.

No, don't put me on hold.

Hello.

Hey.

So, you weren't
returning my calls.

Uh, it's been kind of
crazy around here today.

Mm-hmm.

So, I was thinking about
what you were saying last night.

You know,
you could've just said,

"I don't want to travel."

You're picturing a future
where we slow down,

and I'm just getting going.

Well, I've been going
for 40 years.

When George started talking

about taking over the store,
I-I...

I saw a way out.

Then do it.

I don't want
to do it without you, dummy.

Well, then you're gonna
have to wait a little.

I don't think I can do that.

What are you saying?

You know I love you, right?

I love you, too.

But we're done.

♪ And the river's wild ♪

♪ And high ♪

♪ And sometimes low. ♪

My mother would say

money is the root of all evil.

But she also said that
about The Simpsons.

I say money
is just a medium of exchange,

a way of transforming something

into something else.

My meemaw bought a sports car

and transformed a relationship
in the process.

My sister transformed her money
into a thriving business

that was eventually shut down
due to an infestation.

Ew.

And for a brief moment,

I became part
of my dream company.

Fun fact: later that year,

RadioShack did open a megastore

called Incredible Universe.
Turned out

the only thing incredible
about it

was how quickly it closed down.

Oopsie.