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Previously on United States of Al...
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Ariana, bacheem, come here.
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- Meet Awalmir and his friends.
- Hello!
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- Hello.
- Awalmir has just arrived from Kabul.
5
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Ariana has an Afghan soul.
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Don't forget you're dealing
with an American girl.
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I will fill your every day
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with sweetness when we are married.
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Married?
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Mm, that is what people
do when they are in love.
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We're not in love.
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Cindy, Al.
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Al, Cindy.
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Both of you guys are
nursing broken hearts.
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You want to make out?
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00:00:30,426 --> 00:00:31,731
Excuse me?
17
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,539
What?
18
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:38,767
Go ahead.
19
00:00:38,984 --> 00:00:40,051
Say it.
20
00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:42,188
Say, "Wow."
21
00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:44,648
Wow.
22
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:45,998
I know.
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00:00:47,718 --> 00:00:49,329
What is that scent?
24
00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:50,553
Rose perfume.
25
00:00:50,764 --> 00:00:51,872
Women love it.
26
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,398
That's why they wear it.
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I think I know what women like,
28
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,453
seeing I'm dating two
of them at the same time.
29
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,200
He's gotten really good at
working that into conversations.
30
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Tell me about it.
31
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:04,953
Today, Cindy is taking
me to Niagara Falls.
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That's a long drive.
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Cindy said I'm worth it.
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She's really excited.
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She planned everything.
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It's as if I'm the girl.
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Well, you certainly smell like one.
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You can't threaten my masculinity,
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because I am dating two women.
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He's not really good at working it in.
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He just says it.
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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So, when are your taxes due?
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Tomorrow.
45
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Interesting. And how long did
we have to do this assignment?
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A year.
47
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And you waited till the last minute.
48
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You know what my parents say?
49
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They call this natural consequences.
50
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You know what else they say?
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Go play outside.
52
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How's it going?
53
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Anybody need tea? Coffee?
54
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Some fake receipts?
55
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Thanks, honey. We're doing okay.
56
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They're not.
57
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And they have no one
to blame but themselves.
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00:02:13,669 --> 00:02:15,062
Uh, not to be that guy,
59
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,352
but you wouldn't have to file jointly
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00:02:16,356 --> 00:02:18,398
if you two went ahead and got a...
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00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:20,179
you know.
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You can say "divorce."
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I've noticed my parents
live in different houses
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00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:25,101
and date different people.
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Freddy, why don't you
take Hazel someplace fun
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so we can finish this.
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Come on.
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Where are we going?
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The yarn store.
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She said "fun," Freddy!
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Yes, she did.
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You know, he has a point.
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Why are we still doing this?
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Why don't we just make it
official and get a divorce?
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Um...
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I guess, no reason.
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I mean, you're happy with Freddy.
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Somehow.
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Right?
80
00:02:57,743 --> 00:03:00,421
Yeah. And you haven't
blown things with Holly yet.
81
00:03:00,426 --> 00:03:01,775
Have you?
82
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,477
Amazingly, no.
83
00:03:04,262 --> 00:03:06,656
I think you can file for divorce online.
84
00:03:06,832 --> 00:03:09,357
Yeah, one of my clients at the
salon has done it three times.
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She makes bad choices
with her hair, too.
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All right.
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Let's do it.
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Okay.
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Geez.
90
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Divorce and taxes.
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00:03:24,478 --> 00:03:27,226
Yeah. Is there another miserable
thing we can do this weekend?
92
00:03:27,231 --> 00:03:29,451
Well, you'll be watching someone knit.
93
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,171
Wow, those buffalo wings were spicy.
94
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Are your lips burning?
95
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I have no idea.
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I can't feel them.
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Let me see if I can.
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Go to hell, Beemer!
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Uh, Cindy, I-I think you missed a turn.
100
00:03:50,192 --> 00:03:51,497
That says "bridge to Canada."
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Oh, that's where we're going.
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It's the best view of the falls.
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What? I-I can't go to Canada.
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You're gonna love it.
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That's not the point.
106
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I don't have my green card with me.
107
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Oh, shoot.
108
00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:05,359
Well, the Canadian side's
really the best side.
109
00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:07,296
Don't worry. We'll figure it out.
110
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They're not gonna let me in.
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00:04:09,411 --> 00:04:12,046
I'll hide you. Oh, there's
a blanket in the back seat.
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I am not sneaking over the border.
113
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They will put me in jail.
114
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Oh, I've been to jail.
It's not as bad as they make it seem
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00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:19,109
in the movies.
116
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We should turn around.
117
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We're almost there.
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That's why we should turn around!
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Don't worry.
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I got this.
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Oh, wait.
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Eat these.
123
00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:31,537
- What is it?
- Pot gummies.
124
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I don't eat drugs!
125
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:36,187
All right, I will. But
you got to drive back.
126
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,963
Cindy, just throw them out the window.
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What if a squirrel eats 'em?
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That is irresponsible.
129
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Let me out.
130
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Too late. Hop in the back.
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Mm!
132
00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,694
So we just sign these
and we're divorced?
133
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Yep.
134
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:02,563
Oh. Thought it'd be
a little more complicated.
135
00:05:02,645 --> 00:05:04,473
Well, we can make it more complicated.
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00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,349
Mm, that's okay.
137
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,028
After you.
138
00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:10,470
Thanks.
139
00:05:14,768 --> 00:05:16,378
It's kind of weird, huh?
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Very.
141
00:05:20,684 --> 00:05:21,750
Yeah.
142
00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:31,039
- Thank you.
- Mm.
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00:05:39,452 --> 00:05:41,062
That's it.
144
00:05:41,114 --> 00:05:42,506
Yep.
145
00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:44,591
Now we just mail 'em in and...
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we're divorced.
147
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,081
Cool.
148
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,697
I mean, not cool.
149
00:05:49,702 --> 00:05:51,182
But...
150
00:05:51,187 --> 00:05:52,319
cool.
151
00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:56,062
How you feeling?
152
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Okay.
153
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,492
A little sad.
154
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,183
Me, too.
155
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,713
But I'm proud of us.
156
00:06:06,592 --> 00:06:09,639
This is way better than
with lawyers in a courtroom.
157
00:06:09,644 --> 00:06:10,993
Agreed.
158
00:06:17,005 --> 00:06:18,616
All right. Well...
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I'll leave you to it.
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Goodbye, ex-wife.
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Goodbye, first husband.
162
00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:00,266
Al just pulled into the driveway.
163
00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:02,852
Oh, he spent the night
in Niagara Falls, huh?
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00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,399
I hope the little guy
didn't get married.
165
00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:05,656
You think?
166
00:07:05,661 --> 00:07:07,110
A buddy of mine got
married after visiting
167
00:07:07,114 --> 00:07:08,681
the Baseball Hall of Fame.
168
00:07:08,686 --> 00:07:11,211
Lot of emotion, you get caught up.
169
00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:14,664
Who is the poorest person
in the neighborhood?
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00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,625
Probably me. Why?
171
00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:18,247
I promised God I would give them money
172
00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:20,070
if I survived that date with Cindy.
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Here's a dollar.
174
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,949
Well, you didn't get over the
falls in a barrel, did you?
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00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:27,292
She made me sneak into
Canada under a blanket
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00:07:27,297 --> 00:07:28,890
and back out in her trunk.
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- Why?
- Because the Canadian side is prettier.
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Can't argue with that.
179
00:07:33,796 --> 00:07:36,146
I'm telling you, Cindy
is out of control.
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00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,371
What will our next date be?
Brunch and a bank robbery?
181
00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:41,555
You gonna break up with her?
182
00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:43,475
Of course. Why would I risk everything
183
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,585
with a woman like that
when I have Ariana?
184
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,114
Ariana is intelligent and sensible.
185
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,730
She would never make me wait four hours
186
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,434
at a Canadian truck stop
until she was "good to drive."
187
00:07:55,252 --> 00:07:56,406
Now,
188
00:07:56,411 --> 00:07:58,336
just me or does that
sound like a good time?
189
00:07:58,341 --> 00:07:59,995
Hell yeah.
190
00:08:02,768 --> 00:08:04,378
Wow.
191
00:08:04,461 --> 00:08:05,914
Yeah.
192
00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:08,804
We just did that.
193
00:08:09,395 --> 00:08:11,531
Yeah, we did.
194
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,405
Okay.
195
00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:16,695
Okay.
196
00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,335
What's that mean, "Okay"?
197
00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:21,367
You said it first.
198
00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:23,023
- This doesn't mean you and I...
- No.
199
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:25,117
- Oh, good, good.
- We just...
200
00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:26,953
- We lost our minds.
- Totally.
201
00:08:26,958 --> 00:08:28,180
It's 'cause we're getting a divorce
202
00:08:28,184 --> 00:08:30,011
and it brings up feelings and...
203
00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:33,237
Yeah, it's emotional and we
have so much history.
204
00:08:33,455 --> 00:08:36,281
And you are still working out a lot.
205
00:08:36,685 --> 00:08:38,031
Thank you.
206
00:08:38,036 --> 00:08:41,300
You're also extremely smoking.
207
00:08:41,752 --> 00:08:44,523
Ugh. We are such idiots.
208
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:46,921
Hey. It's gonna be okay.
209
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,890
- No, it's not.
- Look at me.
210
00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:51,671
This never happened.
211
00:08:51,676 --> 00:08:53,461
We'll just go back to
the way things were,
212
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,492
except now we're divorced.
213
00:08:55,777 --> 00:08:57,257
If we just hadn't hugged.
214
00:08:57,262 --> 00:08:59,003
I was gonna shake your hand.
I really was.
215
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:00,702
Yeah, well, that's what
we're doing from now on.
216
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,289
Fist bumps. Less touching.
217
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,382
Because Hazel can never
find out about this.
218
00:09:05,387 --> 00:09:07,773
Oh, my God, Hazel.
219
00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:09,414
She's gonna spend the rest of her life
220
00:09:09,419 --> 00:09:11,359
hoping maybe we'll get back together.
221
00:09:11,364 --> 00:09:13,304
But she's never gonna find out
222
00:09:13,309 --> 00:09:15,296
because we are not
going to tell anybody.
223
00:09:15,301 --> 00:09:17,213
Not Freddy, not Holly.
224
00:09:17,218 --> 00:09:18,921
Oh, God, Holly.
225
00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:21,382
She's gonna run me over with her truck.
226
00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:24,265
Not if she doesn't know.
227
00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:27,442
Right.
228
00:09:28,365 --> 00:09:31,106
Okay.
229
00:09:35,265 --> 00:09:37,833
I don't know if this is the
right time to bring this up,
230
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:41,798
but when you and I were
married and I cheated on you,
231
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,695
this is how bad I felt.
232
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,424
This is not the right time.
233
00:09:45,429 --> 00:09:47,474
That's really clear to me now.
234
00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:01,377
Hello, Cindy.
235
00:10:01,615 --> 00:10:03,487
Hey, what are you doing here?
236
00:10:03,859 --> 00:10:05,187
I wanted to talk to you.
237
00:10:05,192 --> 00:10:06,234
Oh, hang on.
238
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,273
There's somebody I want you to meet.
239
00:10:08,829 --> 00:10:10,788
Can you give us just a minute?
240
00:10:11,051 --> 00:10:13,625
Ronald, this is Al. Al, Ronald.
241
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:16,554
Oh, my God, a penguin.
242
00:10:17,611 --> 00:10:19,351
Well, I've only seen them in the movies.
243
00:10:19,356 --> 00:10:20,357
Do you want to pet him?
244
00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:21,921
- Uh, will he bite me?
- Oh, no.
245
00:10:21,926 --> 00:10:23,890
There are no land
predators in Antarctica,
246
00:10:23,895 --> 00:10:25,648
so they never learned to fear people.
247
00:10:25,653 --> 00:10:28,133
Oh, Ronald, you are so naive.
248
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:29,770
Oh...
249
00:10:29,775 --> 00:10:31,385
Wow.
250
00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:34,445
So soft.
251
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,496
Can I take a selfie with him?
252
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,289
I can make a lot of
people jealous back home.
253
00:10:38,294 --> 00:10:39,339
Sure.
254
00:10:40,045 --> 00:10:41,612
Ronald.
255
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:43,033
Say "fish."
256
00:10:45,408 --> 00:10:47,703
Oh, that's a good one.
257
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,595
Oh, wow. Mm.
258
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:54,718
This, this is amazing.
259
00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:57,453
Did you always want to
be a marine biologist?
260
00:10:57,465 --> 00:11:00,206
Oh, yeah. Yeah, ever since I was a kid.
261
00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:02,387
I could only afford to
take one class at a time,
262
00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:03,914
so my degree took years,
263
00:11:03,919 --> 00:11:06,906
but now I get to spend every
day in a place like this.
264
00:11:06,911 --> 00:11:08,521
Hmm.
265
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,304
I've never been to an aquarium before.
266
00:11:12,811 --> 00:11:14,856
I've never even seen the ocean.
267
00:11:15,064 --> 00:11:17,545
Oh. Oh, it's the most amazing thing.
268
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:19,421
Oh, when you go diving,
269
00:11:19,426 --> 00:11:21,602
you're just in this infinite space
270
00:11:21,607 --> 00:11:24,312
that stretches on in
every direction and...
271
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,997
it makes you feel how small you are
272
00:11:26,002 --> 00:11:29,473
but also how lucky you
are to even be a tiny part
273
00:11:29,478 --> 00:11:32,699
of this endless, unknowable world.
274
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:36,785
Oh, I'm sorry.
275
00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:38,444
You had something you wanted to say.
276
00:11:38,449 --> 00:11:40,015
Uh-uh.
277
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:50,072
Why don't you just use a spoon?
278
00:11:50,202 --> 00:11:52,247
Celery is healthier.
279
00:11:53,636 --> 00:11:54,656
Hey, where you been?
280
00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:55,860
Uh, you know, just...
281
00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:57,848
just run-run-running some errands.
282
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:00,973
- Where?
- Store.
283
00:12:00,978 --> 00:12:02,591
- "Store"?
- Couple stores.
284
00:12:03,929 --> 00:12:05,366
Huh.
285
00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:07,661
Is it wrong to have second
thoughts about a woman?
286
00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:09,528
What? No. What?
287
00:12:10,539 --> 00:12:11,959
Like, you thought you were done with her
288
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:14,966
but suddenly you're not so sure?
289
00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:18,910
I got to...
290
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,596
Hmm.
291
00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:25,716
So, did you break up with Cindy or not?
292
00:12:25,721 --> 00:12:27,201
I didn't want to.
293
00:12:27,385 --> 00:12:29,344
She is a beautiful person.
294
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,482
Tender, curious, passionate.
295
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,489
She let me touch her penguin.
296
00:12:36,158 --> 00:12:38,380
My life with Cindy would
be filled with adventures.
297
00:12:38,385 --> 00:12:40,039
Things I never even dreamed about.
298
00:12:40,044 --> 00:12:42,177
I take back everything I
said about her this morning.
299
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,443
I want to drive around
in the trunk of her car
300
00:12:44,448 --> 00:12:46,606
for the rest of my life.
301
00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:49,786
So you're back to
being a two-woman man?
302
00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:51,532
Cindy's world is so expansive,
303
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,147
it is filling my whole heart.
304
00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:54,938
I think I am in love with this woman.
305
00:12:54,943 --> 00:12:56,074
If I have a moment free,
306
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,528
I want to spend it with her.
307
00:12:57,533 --> 00:12:59,387
So you're gonna break up with Ariana?
308
00:12:59,392 --> 00:13:01,481
Hmm? I have to.
309
00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:06,184
Hmm, I think I am like a penguin:
I mate for life.
310
00:13:06,761 --> 00:13:07,826
I learned that at the aquarium.
311
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,614
You push a button, and
it tells you things.
312
00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:19,114
Love is complicated.
313
00:13:19,663 --> 00:13:22,144
Just when you think you
know the path you are on,
314
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,606
the ground shifts beneath your feet.
315
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,457
Has that ever happened to you?
316
00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:27,639
Nope.
317
00:13:27,794 --> 00:13:29,755
Really? "Nope"?
318
00:13:30,036 --> 00:13:31,197
I'm breaking up with my first love,
319
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,421
and the best I get from you is "nope"?
320
00:13:33,887 --> 00:13:35,473
Yep.
321
00:13:36,762 --> 00:13:38,730
Something is different about you.
322
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,059
What is it?
323
00:13:42,317 --> 00:13:43,692
What is what?
324
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,910
You're nervous.
325
00:13:48,343 --> 00:13:50,128
You have something to hide.
326
00:13:50,684 --> 00:13:52,087
We share everything.
327
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:55,307
What would you not share with me?
328
00:13:55,989 --> 00:13:58,825
Leave it alone. Geez.
329
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,591
Where were you this morning?
330
00:14:04,078 --> 00:14:05,747
I was out.
331
00:14:06,552 --> 00:14:07,624
Riley.
332
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,196
I was at Vanessa's.
333
00:14:10,989 --> 00:14:12,348
Did you get in a fight?
334
00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:13,625
No.
335
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:16,700
You didn't.
336
00:14:16,705 --> 00:14:18,707
Lower your voice.
337
00:14:20,909 --> 00:14:23,208
Ah, you did.
338
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:25,961
It was crazy.
339
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,703
All right? It just happened.
340
00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:28,906
It was a mistake.
341
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,125
Did you think about Holly?
342
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,215
Obviously, I didn't think about Holly.
343
00:14:31,219 --> 00:14:32,252
Are you gonna tell her?
344
00:14:32,257 --> 00:14:33,544
No, I can't tell anyone.
345
00:14:33,549 --> 00:14:35,723
And for the record, I did not tell you.
346
00:14:36,217 --> 00:14:37,697
I'm a student of the human condition.
347
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,536
That is not your fault.
348
00:14:40,331 --> 00:14:42,180
Seriously, Hazel cannot
find out about this.
349
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,795
Okay? It'll ruin her life.
350
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,885
No, it won't.
351
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:49,231
Her family, which has been
split, will be made whole.
352
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,368
Vanessa and I are not
getting back together.
353
00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:52,943
So promise me you will
not tell a single person.
354
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:55,036
- Uh, Riley, I promise.
- Okay.
355
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,327
But I do think this is a
sign that you love Vanessa
356
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,364
and you should be reunited with her.
357
00:15:00,589 --> 00:15:02,461
I'm so glad you two never got divorced.
358
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,594
We got divorced this morning.
359
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,121
I'm gonna need some air.
360
00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:14,226
Al, this is my favorite
place in the world.
361
00:15:14,231 --> 00:15:17,687
- A bar?
- Not just a bar. My soccer bar.
362
00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:19,911
I watch every Barcelona game here.
363
00:15:19,916 --> 00:15:22,694
Are you serious? Barcelona
is my favorite team.
364
00:15:22,699 --> 00:15:26,007
Well, then you are gonna love this.
365
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,382
A real jersey.
366
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:28,554
With my name on the back.
367
00:15:28,559 --> 00:15:30,059
Oh, I love it.
368
00:15:30,141 --> 00:15:32,317
What would you have done if
I was not a Barcelona fan?
369
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,564
Dumped you.
370
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,109
Goal!
371
00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:40,881
- Hold on, my people need me.
- Uh-huh.
372
00:15:41,028 --> 00:15:44,593
Ole-le, Ola-la,
373
00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:47,729
being a Bar�a fan is
the best thing there is!
374
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,617
Ariana, I did not realize
you were such a soccer fan.
375
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,125
Aw, there's a lot of stuff about me
376
00:15:58,130 --> 00:15:59,828
- that you don't know.
- Oh?
377
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,003
Like what?
378
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,984
I'm a really great kisser.
379
00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:12,053
What's wrong?
380
00:16:12,531 --> 00:16:13,837
What do you mean?
381
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,626
You usually kiss me like you're trying
382
00:16:15,631 --> 00:16:18,025
to eat your way to the back of my head.
383
00:16:20,976 --> 00:16:22,937
Holly, I got to tell you something.
384
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,809
What?
385
00:16:28,503 --> 00:16:30,636
I slept with someone.
386
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:32,856
- Who?
- It doesn't matter.
387
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,828
It was Sourpuss Barbie, wasn't it?
388
00:16:35,945 --> 00:16:38,035
It was a mistake. We
signed our divorce papers,
389
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,390
and it was weird and final,
and our brains short-circuited,
390
00:16:40,395 --> 00:16:42,701
and it will never happen again.
391
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,171
Okay.
392
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:47,914
So we're good?
393
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,867
Oh, we are not good at all.
394
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,355
But I was honest with you.
That has to count for something.
395
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:53,925
You want credit?
396
00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:56,242
I mean, a little.
397
00:16:57,925 --> 00:17:00,752
As a courtesy, I'm not
gonna punch your teeth in.
398
00:17:00,757 --> 00:17:03,109
There's your credit.
Thanks for stopping by.
399
00:17:03,114 --> 00:17:04,788
- Come on, Holly.
- No, we're done.
400
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,821
- I know, I messed up. I...
- You're starting a lot of sentences
401
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:08,191
with the word "I."
402
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:10,109
Here's an "I" for you.
403
00:17:10,366 --> 00:17:13,026
I got a bunch of phone numbers
when I was away on reserves,
404
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,469
and I threw them all away.
405
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:18,006
Because I was dumb enough to trust you.
406
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,304
I am so sorry.
407
00:17:25,496 --> 00:17:26,976
Me, too.
408
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,218
Oh, I may have left some
stuff in your bedroom...
409
00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:54,288
Look at us. Men of the world.
410
00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:56,461
Love, loss.
411
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,499
The full spectrum of
the human experience.
412
00:18:00,093 --> 00:18:01,640
Okay, you don't have to say everything
413
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,038
that pops in your little head.
414
00:18:04,929 --> 00:18:06,515
I think you may have done what you did
415
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,295
because you truly want
to be with Vanessa.
416
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,328
I don't.
417
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,911
Sometimes our desires
are not clear to us.
418
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,635
For example, when I thought I
wanted to break up with Cindy.
419
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,742
Or I wanted to break up with Ariana.
420
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,619
Gosh, those are two special ladies.
421
00:18:20,686 --> 00:18:22,757
Maybe you should go hang
out with one of them.
422
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,935
I will not leave your side.
423
00:18:25,996 --> 00:18:29,173
When you are sad, I am sad.
424
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:32,208
You want to try that again
without that ridiculous grin?
425
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:39,187
When you are sad, I am sad.
426
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:54,312
Babe, you home? I got
a surprise for you.
427
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,043
There's my man.
428
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,666
Do you want it now, or do
you want it later? Say now.
429
00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:01,879
Mm. Now, definitely now.
430
00:19:02,195 --> 00:19:03,554
I made it myself.
431
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,092
Aw. How did you knit this
whole thing without me knowing?
432
00:19:07,609 --> 00:19:08,999
I'm pretty sneaky.
433
00:19:10,343 --> 00:19:12,230
Okay, I'm gonna go
try it on in the light.
434
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,398
The light's pretty good here.
435
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,768
Oh, no, the light's way
better in the kitchen.
436
00:19:15,773 --> 00:19:17,663
It's where I try on all my clothes.
437
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,023
Oh, I guess I see it.
438
00:19:28,373 --> 00:19:30,570
I love the stripes.
439
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,780
Mm.
440
00:19:32,847 --> 00:19:35,847
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www.addic7ed.com
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