All language subtitles for 9-1-1.s05e13.720p.web.h264-cakes. eng

- Hi.
- Hi.

Ah! I can't believe you're home.

You, uh, y-you seem good.

I am. Finally.

Uh, wh-where's Chim?

And-and Jee?

Welcome home.

I have missed you.

Missed you, too.
You want a beer?

Yeah.

Maddie not around?

We broke up.

So, we realized somewhere
around St. Louis

that it was over.

After everything
you've been through?

All those
other times we were apart,

it always felt
like it was outside forces.

Ex-husbands, pandemics.

This time, it feels like

the call's coming
from inside the house.

It's hard enough trying
to keep a relationship

together under the same roof.

But not speaking to each other
for six months?

We grew apart.

Or we grew while we were apart,
I guess.

It kind of sounds like he's
punishing you for being sick.

No, that's not what's going on.

We made a mutual decision
together

that this is
what's best for Jee.

So no one is punishing anyone.

Okay? Don't be mad at Chim.

I mean,

I do still owe him
a punch in the face.

I already apologized to Buck.
Everything is fine with us.

I'm ready to get back
with the team.

Mm, yeah.

The team's configuration is just

a little bit different
than when you left.

- Eddie quit?
- Bobby replaced me?

You asked Taylor
to move in with you?

Buck made out
with the new firefighter?

Wow.

Yep.

You guys totally
fell apart without me.

This is a very strongly
worded release form.

Yeah, well,
sharks don't mess around.

- So neither do we.
- Uh, uh, this section here

about being "permanently maimed
or physically disfigured"?

I thought I was safer
in the cage than free diving.

You are.

Well, is there anything

safer than the cage?

Land.

Look, you don't have to go in.

Okay.

Let's get you geared up.

Fresh meat! Fresh meat!

Fresh meat. Come and get it.

All right, come and get it.

Fresh meat! Fresh meat!

All right, looking good, my man!

All right, very important.

This button right here, see it?

You push this button
and inflate your vest,

it's gonna bring you on up
to the surface.

All right, but this is
just a precaution.

You're only going down
maybe 20 feet.

You got your guide
with you the entire time.

Under no circumstance

should you ever leave the cage.

All right? Big no-no, got it?

You good?

Thumbs up? Okay, all right.

Get on in there!

Let's do this. All right.

Jesus. We lost the cage!

Oh, my God!

Pull her around!

Hold her steady! I'm going in!

Okay, Buck, Lucy?

Help them tie off
so we can board.

Uh, sorry. Excuse me.

How deep was he
before he came up?

Over 100 feet. My other
diver's still coming up.

He's only halfway.

Might as well just grab him now.

Sir? Sir, can you hear me?

Pulse is weak.

Severe barotrauma.

Every blood vessel in his eye
must have burst.

The mask did that.
Squeezed his head like a melon.

I worked at a dive shop
in Redondo.

Oh.

Ruptured eardrums.

- Shouldn't be surprised.
- Airway is patent,

but breathing's
extremely shallow.

One of his lungs is
probably gone.

Would've ruptured on the way up.

Can't move.

- Everything hurts.
- Jonah?

- Push fluids and get him on O2.
- Okay.

Temporary paralysis, too.

He's got it bad, Cap.

Buck, get him prepped
for medevac.

This is 118 to Air Operations.

We need medevac
at San Pedro Marina.

Victim is suffering from
severe decompression sickness

and possibly a punctured lung.

Prep for hyperbaric
oxygen treatment.

Roger that, Captain 118.

We're transporting
a trauma patient.

Will circle back as soon as
we unload. 15 minutes out.

He'll be dead before he sees
the inside of a chamber.

- She's not wrong.
- So what do we do?

Tag him and go grab a smoothie?

We could put him
back in the water.

I could take him down,
bring him back up properly.

That's too risky... we need
to get him in a chamber.

15 minutes?

We could build one faster.

Saw a diver do it once
in Ensenada.

He said all you need
is a good seal

and a lot of compressed air.

He built his in a meat freezer.

How about a fresh fish freezer?

Buck, kill the power
to the freezer.

He's gonna be in there anywhere
from 30 to 90 minutes.

Could be hypothermic in ten,
okay, even with the power off.

- So we need to pump him full of warm fluids.
- Great call, Hen.

- We could run the I.V. in with the air.
- I'll stay with him.

Take pressure readings
and monitor his vitals.

Radio us if anything goes south.

Okay.

Buck, Lucy, run 'em wide open.

Lucy, be ready
to switch out those tanks.

Okay, that's ten minutes.

- How are we looking, Jonah?
- Pressure equivalent

of 100 feet below.

Excellent.

Still hanging tight.

Core temperature is steady
and his vitals are improving.

Copy that.

Fresh tanks here...

Firefighter Donato.

Thanks, Firefighter Buckley.

Okay, Lucy, start bringing
the pressure down.

Okay.

How is he?

Swelling has reduced,
BP is stabilized,

- normal breathing has returned.
- Good.

Never lost anyone on a charter
yet, don't want to start now.

Don't know what happened
out there to make him

- freak out like that.
- Sharks.

Phobia.

So you booked
a shark encounter charter?

Immersion therapy.

I'm not sure it works like that.

They say the only thing
to fear is...

Crazy people.

So what are you afraid of?

That's a pretty open-ended
question, don't you think?

I mean, I don't love
going to the dentist.

I doubt the fear
of having a cavity filled

is why you blew up
at Captain Nash the way you did.

I apologized for that.

I was upset.

Shouldn't have said
what I said to him.

So why did you?

- How's Christopher?
- Good.

Good. He had a rough patch

- over the holidays, but he's doing better now.
- Good.

I'm glad to hear that.

I know how much
you worry about him.

His well-being.

- Is that a bad thing now?
- Not at all.

I just wonder if you worry
about your own well-being.

You're a man who spends
all of his time

managing other people's pain.

Army medic,

firefighter, father.

But not a lot of time
facing your own.

An old drill sergeant of mine
used to say

that pain is nothing
but weakness leaving the body.

- You think pain is weakness?
- It can be.

If you give in to it.

Can't put all your feelings
in a box, Eddie.

You might think if you're
strong enough that it'll hold.

But at some point,
that box is gonna blow open.

And take me with it.

You and anyone else around you.

So what do I do?

Sit here and...

download you on every bad thing
that's happened to me?

Could be a while.

Let's take a shortcut.

Maybe you should talk
about your pain

with someone who shares it.

Think about that first trauma.

And then talk to someone

who can understand exactly
what you've been through.

Oh, okay, well...

...definitely not kitchen.

You know, I didn't realize
you had this much stuff.

Yeah, we'll just have to cull
as we unpack.

We probably have
two of everything.

Including two couches.

Ah...

Uh, maybe just set it down
over there for now.

- Thanks. - What exactly are we gonna do
with two couches?

Well, we'll get rid of one.

I'm guessing not the one
they just carried in?

- No.
- Ah.

- So...
- Yeah.

Okay, I will see if anyone
at the firehouse

wants to... buy a couch.

Uh, maybe that new firefighter
needs one.

Uh, you-you mean Lucy?

Um, yeah, I-I wouldn't...
I wouldn't know.

Uh, we haven't really...
interacted.

Uh, she-she's
kind of a little...

A little what?

- Bold.
- "Bold"?

Uh, yeah, she-she-she's bold.

Um, yeah, so-so...

I don't know
what her tastes are.

Huh, you know,
you can just ask her.

Do you have good taste?

She says yes,
you'll know she'll love it.

- Good plan.
- Aha.

Okay.

I'm gonna go return my keys
and do a walkthrough

with the landlord.

Wish me luck.

Is this a bad time?

A familiar face.

- Finally!
- Yeah, welcome back. We missed you.

Of course you did... so many
new firefighters around here,

I thought I walked
into the wrong house.

Well, on the plus side,
I'm no longer the new guy.

They really do grow up so fast,
don't they?

Oh, look who decided to stop by.

- And just in time for lunch.
- Is it lunchtime?

Can't wait to see
what Cap's cooking.

Let's go.

This is...

not cooked.

What, do you want me to warm it
up for you in the microwave?

- You're saying no to my sushi?
- I'm not saying no.

- I'm saying, "Why?"
- Yeah, but for the record,

I'm saying yes to whatever
he doesn't want, so...

Never mind.
I'll cook something for you.

I have got red snapper,
flounder.

- How do you feel about tilapia?
- How does anyone feel about tilapia, Cap?

- Yeah.
- Okay, so what's up with all the fish?

You guys become pescatarians
or something while I was gone?

We had a call at a fish market
the other day.

- And they paid you in flounder?
- Hey.

How about
a little seared salmon?

Little ginger,
little lemon, little garlic?

- What do you say?
- Why not?

All right.

I'm glad you're back.

You seem better.

Glad you guys worked it out.

I don't have a job.

I need to find an apartment.

I used most of my savings
when I left.

And Chimney used most of his
chasing me.

Well, I'm sorry
about the whole apartment thing.

- If I would've known...
- What?

If you had known that I was
coming back, you wouldn't

have asked your girlfriend
to move in with you?

Hi.

Yeah, yeah.

Buck?

Uh, yeah, uh, maybe.

Look, basically,
I-I did a dumb thing.

And I wasn't sure
how to tell Taylor,

so instead I...

I did an even dumber thing.

Asking her to move in?

Mm-hmm. And listen, I-I do...

I do love her.

You know, and she's really
been there for me

with you guys gone,
and I-I want to believe

I asked her
for the right reasons.

But?

I can't help but wonder if...

maybe I was just scared
of being left again.

We are a pair.

The fugitive and the settler.

- I'm always running, you're always...
- Clinging.

I really did miss you.

I missed you, too.

Okay, so you said
that the second dumb thing

you had done was asking Taylor
to move in with you.

What was the first?

So...

that's the infamous Chimney.

What do you think?

That I should probably
start packing.

What about you?

I thought he'd be taller.

What?

You keep checking that thing,
like, every five minutes.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

It's just that today is
the first day

that Maddie will be alone
with the baby in six months.

And you're scared.

That's an understatement.

Hey, I'm Perry
from the pet-sitting app.

Excellent, right on time.

Looks like all those five-star
reviews were pretty accurate.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

Make yourself at home. I'm Oren.

I have to say I am so grateful
you responded to my listing.

I've had the hardest time

getting anybody
to take this job.

That's weird.

House like this
and the rate you're paying?

Figured people would be
banging down your door.

Well...

So where are the little cuties?
I don't see any

- running around.
- Oh, no, they're in their cages.

- Ah.
- I know it sounds old-fashioned,

but I am not
a fan of free roaming.

- Come on.
- You're smart.

Crate training's important
for reinforcing good behavior.

- Right?
- So how much playtime are your pets used to?

Well, they get
plenty of recreation.

And I used to let them out

more often, but the little
devils kept running away.

So this is
where you'll be sleeping.

This actually used to be
the kennel.

But with all that downtime
during the pandemic,

I decided to go all out

and make each one of my babies
their very own

state-of-the-art,
climate-controlled environment.

Wow, lucky pups.

- Ready to meet them?
- Lead the way.

What do you think?

Beautiful, aren't they?

Uh, these aren't dogs.

That's very funny.

Is it?

Hey, sweetheart. Ooh.

Let me get you
a little cleaned up there.

Look at that, look at that.

Are you gonna miss me?

Is there a problem?

Uh... problem?

No, no.

It's-it's just...

Oh, please.

Don't tell me
that you're changing your mind.

I haven't had a vacation
in six years.

I know it's a lot of money,
but...

How about I pay you more?

Uh, how much more?

$50 an hour.

It's $1,200 a day.

$8,400 for the week?

What do you say?

- Bye-bye.
- Have a great trip.

See you in a week.

Oh, there you are.

Honestly, it's not so bad.

Think I might actually
be starting

to like the little demons.

All right.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Bye.

I see,
and who are we checking on?

My pets! I am on vacation,

and they need to be fed.

I'm sorry, sir, but that
in no way warrants a 911 call.

Maybe there's a neighbor
you could call instead?

- Or a pet-sitter?
- Well, I have a pet-sitter!

He hasn't answered
the phone in two days.

So there's an actual person

who might be at risk here?

Does that make a difference?

LAPD! Anybody home?

It's uh... He's, uh...

...in here.

You trying to set the mood,
Vargas?

- Oh, wow.
- He was like that when we found him.

- Didn't want to touch him till you guys got here.
- That's a lot of webbery.

I am getting a reading.

He's still alive under there.
Hen?

Okay, we need
to cut him out of there

to assess and treat him.

Lucy, stand by
with that CO2 extinguisher.

It should knock out whatever
cold-blooded creatures

might've spun these webs.

Okay, I think you guys got this.

Let's get a gurney in here!

Did Cap just run away?

- More like a fast walk.
- Get ready to transfer.

One, two, three.

Breathing's shallow,
pulse is barely there.

Didn't think tarantulas
were that poisonous.

This many bites adds up.

And they're also known to make
webs to store their prey.

I think our guy was
next on their menu.

Prepping a steroid injection.

I'm just gonna leave
the patient's clothes

right there for animal control.

Well, dispatch said

the homeowner
explicitly forbade them

from entering the home
until he got back from vacation.

But he is happy we found
some of his missing pets.

Is that what you were
doing out here, Cap?

Talking to dispatch?

Nothing to do with a little
undiagnosed arachnophobia?

Come on, Hen.

- He's coding!
- What?

What-what happened?
He was just stable.

Pressure's bottoming out... might
be a reaction to the steroids.

Wouldn't that increase
the pressure?

Yes, unless he was on some sort
of prescription meds.

Clear!

Heart rhythm returning to normal.

- Nice job.
- Thank you.

You sure he's okay?

Yeah.

Just gave us a scare.

I still don't
understand why Bobby

would give you so much fish.

They've been eating nothing
but fish all week.

- I think he was trying to stave off a mutiny.
- Hmm.

Nothing else is gonna fit
in this freezer.

Uh, how would you feel

about ice cream for dinner?

As long as it doesn't taste
or smell like mackerel, I'm in.

They've been in there
a really long time.

You think
I should check on them?

Uh, no, you should not.

Yeah, I should go check.

Hey. Everything good?

Yeah. I changed her,
fed her, put her down.

- You should be good till morning.
- Great.

Did, uh, she have her bath?

Uh... no.

No, she didn't
really get dirty today,

so I didn't think...
I'm sure she's fine.

Right. I-I'm sure she is, too.
I-I didn't mean...

It's okay.
You know what, I should go.

'Cause I have an apartment
to see tonight, so...

Uh, sure you don't want
to stay for dinner?

We're having
mint chocolate chip.

No, thanks.

You guys have a good night.

We should have
20 forks at this point.

Why can't I find one?

Uh, maybe they're
in the dishwasher.

Just tell me there are
chopsticks in that bag.

Taylor, um...

Mm-hmm?

I kissed someone.

Wh-What?

I kissed another woman.

I mean, she kissed me,
but I-I-I kissed her back.

And then, uh, I realized what
a mistake I was making, and...

I stopped.

Look, I-I'm really sorry.

Oh.

I'm really, really sorry.

It didn't mean anything.

I was drunk and-and stupid.

When?

When what?

When were you drunk

and stupid?

A few weeks ago.

We had that big save
on the freeway, and...

and we went out to celebrate.

That... hmm, that is a day
before you asked me to move in.

Was that why
you asked me to move in?

No.

Hmm?

Not-not entirely.

"Not entirely."

Oh. Oh.

Um, hey, wh-where are you going?

Oh, I have no idea.

- Are you gonna come back?
- Of course.

I don't have
anywhere else to go.

You made sure of that.

Give me your purse.

- What?
- Give me your purse!

Now!

No.

Are you not seeing this?

How can I not when you're
waving it around like that?

You want it?

You're gonna have to come
and get it,

'cause I'm not giving it to you.

Lady, I swear I will shoot you.

Are you sure about that?

Feels like the window's closing
on that opportunity.

You got some kind
of death wish?!

Let's find out.

You wanted me to be scared?

I ain't scared.

Nope.

Still not scared.

Are you?

No, this is not that difficult.
I...

- You scared yet?
- Ma'am!

Ma'am.

I-I don't know
what this man has done,

but I can pretty much
make a guess.

He thought he could scare me.

Clearly, he misjudged you.

But, please,

don't take me
and this entire block

with you to prove a point.

That's what I thought.

I'm sorry.

Crazy bitch.

Hey!

You got the wrong guy!

I was just asking
for directions!

Ruth.

What's with the cold shower?

You caught yourself
another Peeping Tom?

More creep than peep.

He was trying to rob
one of my customers at the pump.

She retaliated by dousing him
with about $12 worth of premium,

then turned the nozzle
on herself.

High-octane baptism.

Now, that's a new one.

Well, the mystery

of the nice man
who asked for directions

has been solved.

Did she say something to you?

Craziest thing. She apologized.

Reckless and remorseful.

Wonder what that's about.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Did something happen?

- Is Pauline okay?
- Pauline Barrett?

My sister. We live together.

- I-I'm Leticia.
- Sergeant Grant.

So, you don't know where she is?

She's not answering my calls
or texts.

W-Was she
in some kind of accident?

There was an incident
at a gas station.

Oh. That's why she smelled
like gasoline.

She blew through here,
took a shower,

then left again.

She wouldn't talk to me.

She's just not herself lately.

In what way?

She's irritable.

Easy to set off.

Last week,
we were at a grocery store.

Some guy was ahead of us
in the express lane,

and he had
way more than 15 items.

He probably had
15 bottles of wine alone.

He counts those as one item.
I know the creature.

- What happened?
- Pauline told him

to move to another line.
He wouldn't.

They started arguing,
and Pauline just snapped.

Grabbed the bottles of wine
and smashed them at his feet.

And this guy was big.
He was getting in her face

and leaning over her,
and she didn't even blink.

And there haven't been
any other changes in her life?

Just her voice.

Uh, I noticed it
a few weeks ago.

She started to sound
raspy and hoarse.

Please, you have to find her.

I don't know what's happening
with my sister,

but she's not okay.

What is your location, sir?

I'm at the recycling center
on Sadler.

Holy crap! She's walking
right on the ledge.

- We are aware, sir.
- 911.

- What's your emergency?
- Got another call

- about the recycling jumper.
- Same thing over here.

Yes, ma'am. Thanks for calling.

911. What's your emergency?

I'm at the
recycling center on Sadler.

Yes, we know about the jumper.

- We've shut down...
- No.

You don't understand.

I am the jumper.

All units responding
to the recycling plant,

be advised
the subject refuses to engage

with personnel on scene.
Routing call to TAC channel two

- so hostage rescue can listen on the way in.
- Copy that, dispatch.

This is 727-L-30.

- We will monitor from here.
- Hey.

- Can you get an airbag under her?
- Negative. Too much obstruction.

We're gonna have to
get her down the hard way.

All right, Buck, Ravi, hit it.

Pauline,

I know you're afraid.

But I'm not.

That's the problem.

I'm not afraid at all.

Okay. You're... fearless.

When you say it like that,
it sounds like a good thing.

I mean, who'd want to be afraid?

Uh, not many people.

Because they don't know
what it feels like,

how empty you feel inside

when the fear is gone.

We are at the recycling plant...

Hey, Eddie.

I need you to tweet
about these road closures.

We've got a jumper.

Do they even know who she is?

Remember that lady
from the Gas 'N' Sip

who almost set herself on fire?

Apparently, she's lost
the ability to be afraid.

Is that even a real thing?

...coverage and breaking
news from this harrowing situation.

I can't function like this.

Nothing means anything anymore.

I feel like I am coming
out of my skin, literally.

- How you doing up there, guys?
- On the move, Cap.

- Almost there.
- Copy that.

Here you go. Take a look.

That doesn't look good.

She did douse herself
with gasoline.

Gasoline wouldn't do that.

Not even an allergic reaction.

Any other symptoms?

Mood swings, fits of anger.

I mean, yelling at men twice
her size at the grocery store.

Oh, and her voice changed.

- Her voice?
- Yeah.

Wasn't raspy or hoarse before.

But, you know, maybe that's
from all the yelling.

Hey.

Cap,
we are way too exposed here.

She sees us coming,
and she's gonna jump.

- Cap.
- Yeah.

I have an idea,
but I-I need to get closer.

Buck, Ravi, stand by.

I really did
try to make the best of it.

Pauline, I'm wondering
if you might want

to talk to someone with
medical knowledge who can help.

So they can tell me
that I'm crazy?

No. No, thank you. No.

No.

No one can help me.

I have someone who wants to try.

Hi, Pauline. Down here.

My name... my name is Henrietta,
but people call me Hen.

I told everyone to stay away!

I-I'm not moving.
I'm not moving.

I just want to talk. That's it.

Can you tell me

when your symptoms
first started?

A few months ago. I...
It's hard to remember.

Have you experienced
any psychological symptoms,

like visions
or-or voices in your head?

No. No, not like that.

I'm just-just losing my mind.

I don't think you are, Pauline.

Are you sure?

'Cause I'm up here

praying and hoping

that my stomach would drop

or the hairs on the back
of my neck would stand up.

But there's nothing.

I feel empty.

If I operate out of fear

and it goes away,
how am I supposed to operate?

Well, the first
thing you do is look at me.

Look at me. Down here.

Pauline,

the sores around your eyes

a-and the change in your voice.

I think it's
Urbach-Wiethe syndrome.

It's a disease
that-that hardens parts

of your body,
like your vocal cords

and your amygdala.

That's-that's the part
of your brain

that-that controls
your-your fear response.

It's not your mind, Pauline.

It's your brain.

It's the same thing.

I'm broken.

No. No, Pauline.

- No.
- Maybe I'll feel something on the way down.

P-Pauline, no! Don't!

Oh!

All right, get her over...
on three.

I'm sorry about this.

Uh, Howie was supposed to be
home before I had to leave,

- but he got stuck downtown.
- Don't be silly.

I'm happy to have
more one-on-one time with Jee.

She, uh, went down for a nap
about an hour ago.

Is everything okay? Is it work?

I had this whole idea

of what I thought
the job would be like.

How rewarding it would be
to help people for a living.

Like Howie. Like you.

Yeah, but it can still be
difficult and taxing

even when the outcome is good.

Yeah,
I feel like I spend all day

trapped inside of people's
worst nightmares.

We catch them at the height
of their fear and pain,

and then, what, just go home?

Pack it away?

Some do. I never did.

I always carried it with me.
But I always carried it

alongside
all of the amazing things

that I got to do.

Every caller I helped with CPR,

every birth
I talked someone through.

Every kid I helped
with their homework.

I wish we got
more homework calls.

Oh, I don't know. Math is hard.

Especially over the phone.

Look, the point is
I think that you need both

to find balance.

You make it sound so easy.

Confronting your fears

and moving past them.

Yeah. We both know it's not.

No. No!

Hey.

Uh, hey.

You're back.

Are-are-are you back?

I only had one change of clothes
in my car.

Tay, I-I am so sorry.

Look, I don't care

that you kissed some random girl
in a bar.

I'm not even sure
I needed to know that.

But to ask me
to move in with you

and then tell me?

I know you're afraid
of people leaving you,

- but this is...
- You think I-I trapped you?

Am I wrong?

I'm not sure.

Well, at least that's honest.

Hey, however it happened,

I'm glad that you're here.

'Cause... Hey. Hey.

'Cause I want this to work.

Me, too.

So no more lies.

I swear.

We're all afraid of something.

Heights. Snakes.

- Small spaces.
- Hey.

Sorry I'm late.

I got stuck in traffic.

Maddie?

But what if
the thing you fear the most

is fear itself?

Hey. Looks
like you guys are having fun.

Yeah. We are.

Here.

Phobophobia.

The fear of being afraid.

The terror that comes
from imagining

the pounding of your heart,
the racing of your pulse

and the ensuing loss of control.

Wow.

From up here,
it's kind of pretty.

Almost makes you forget

you're flying
through the Valley of Death.

Seriously, Mills?
No one needs that.

There's guys dying back here.

I didn't name it.

All the dead guys did.

Dead guys did.

How do you overcome your fear

when what you're really
afraid of is you?

Enemy combatants approaching.

Enemy combatants approaching.

Annihilate.

Dad! Dad!

Hey, Chris.

Dad! Dad! Dad!

- Chris?
- Buck!

Something's wrong with Dad!

Chris?

Hey. Hey.

- Hey, buddy. Are you okay?
- He won't come out.

I keep calling him,
but he won't answer.

Um, okay.
Well, y-you just wait here.

- I'm gonna go get him, okay?
- Okay.

Uh, hey. Hey, Eddie. It's, uh...

It's me. Can I come in?

All right, Eddie,
I-I'm gonna come in, okay?

Stay away from the door.

Eddie?

Eddie?

Eddie.

Hey, hey, hey.
What-what's going on?

Hey.

They're all dead.

Who-who's all dead?

Everybody that I saved.

They're all dead.

They're all dead.
They're all dead.

They're all dead.

Okay, buddy. Okay.

We're right out here.

Is he okay?

I mean, he's still scared
out of his mind.

He's not the only one.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare him.

Just kind of...

lost it.

Why?

I was supposed to...

...reach out to some
of the people I served with.

Part of my therapy.

Okay. I, uh, I-I didn't know

you still kept in touch
with any of them.

Truth is I didn't.

I haven't talked to any of them
since I moved out here.

I pulled four people
out of that chopper alive.

Chief died in country
a couple years later.

Rest of us made it home safe.

And, uh, wh-what happened
to the others?

Norwahl...

died in a car crash.

Binder OD'd, and Mills...

...shot herself last August.

I pulled them out.

But I didn't save them.

So, that's why you took
a baseball bat

to everything you own?

I'm afraid.

Okay.

Okay. Well,
what are you afraid of?

That I'm never gonna
feel normal again.

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