All language subtitles for Pitch.Perfect.2.2015.PROPER.720p.BluRay.X264-AMIABLE.CHI

(JOHN CLEARS THROAT) (GAIL
BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

(JOHN AND GAIL VOCALIZING)

(JOHN AND GAIL SCATTING)

(LAUGHING)

Welcome back, a
cappella enthusiasts.

My name is John Smith,

and sitting here to my left

is Gail
Abernathy-McCadden-Feinberger.

Oh, this one's
gonna stick, John.

Well, you saved the Jew for last.
I did. I did.

You're listening to
Let's Talk-Appella,

the world's premiere
downloadable a cappella podcast.

We are coming to you live
from the nation's capital,

where the Barden
University Bellas

are about to rock the
historic Kennedy Center.

JOHN: Boy, these girls
have broken down

every single barrier in their
path, haven't they, Gail?

GAIL: Absolutely, John.

The first all-female group
to win a national title,

three-time defending champs,
and now, here they are,

performing for the President of the
United States on his birthday.

JOHN: Wow! What an inspiration

to girls all over the country who
are too ugly to be cheerleaders.

(ALL APPLAUDING)
(SCATTERED CHEERING)

(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

JOHN: Here's Beca Mitchell,
leader of the group.

GAIL: Look at these
sequins and sparkles.

Oh, my! Their feet just
don't stop moving.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

GAIL: Florencia Fuentes just
earned her green card, John.

She may have to do that backflip

right back over the
fence into Mexico.

I think she's Guatemalan.

Oh, none of that matters.

GAIL: There is so much
happening on stage,

I don't even know where to look.

Back in my day, we put on our
blazers and we just sang.

We maybe snapped our fingers
if we were feeling frisky.

(SINGING PATRIOTIC SONG)

(SINGING POP SONG)

GAIL: Whoa! Another surprise!

JOHN: An overweight girl
dangling from the ceiling.

Who hasn't had that dream?
Lots of us.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

(SINGING POP SONG)

(AMY SCREAMING)

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

GAIL: No!

JOHN: Okay, she has no underwear on.
Oh, my God.

We have a commando situation.

There is a commando
situation on stage!

GAIL: Who is on top of this?

- What kind of person...
- JOHN: Holy cow!

- Take her back up. She's turning.
- GAIL: Pull her up already!

She's turning. Brace yourselves.
No.

She's coming. She's coming!

AMY: Avert your eyes, or take it all in!
Make your choice!

GAIL: Not the front! Nobody
wants to see the front!

Oh, no! (AUDIENCE GASPS)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Happy birthday, Mr. President.

The Australian singer who
calls herself "Fat Amy"

gave the President a birthday
gift from down under

during last night's celebration

held at the historic
Kennedy Center.

In case you're wondering what
I mean by "down under," Chip,

I'm talking about her (BLEEP).

She showed her (BLEEP)
to the President.

All eyes were on the a cappella
singers, the Barden Bellas.

Three-time defending a
cappella national champions,

which is a real
thing, apparently.

Although authorities have ruled
out terrorism as a motive,

the Bellas claim the mishap
was merely an accident

and issued an apology.

I am deeply sorry for the
upset that I have caused.

I feel that I have already
received punishment enough

in the form of silk burn.

Exhibit C.

No, no, no!

It's filth.

Women who sing are
just another example

of cultural decay,
due to loose morals.

Not wearing underwear

seems kind of intentional to me.
Mmm.

Yeah, you either choose to wear
underwear, or you don't wear underwear.

It's a choice I make every day.

You know, until today, I
thought singing a cappella

was the most embarrassing
thing you could do.

Normally, that
group is on point,

and last night, they
were off-point,

off-key, and then on the floor.

It's a national disgrace.

Yeah, but I'd rather be in that

limo ride home with
the President.

Cut to the real
President, he'd be like,

"That (BLEEP) was off
the hook!" (LAUGHTER)

(CYCLE BELL RINGING)

Chloe, chill out.
It was a mistake.

They're not gonna burn
us for witchcraft.

No, but the National A
Cappella Association

is in there talking
to the Dean about us,

and who knows what's
gonna happen?

We won three championships.

Whatever happens in there,
we're gonna be fine.

Maybe it's time to think
about other stuff.

What other stuff?

You know, school, jobs, life.

This group is my life.

I've intentionally failed
Russian Lit three times

so I could be a Bella.

This is the worst thing that's
ever happened to us. Ever.

You know, before
coming to Barden,

I had diarrhea for seven years.

But yes, this is terrible.

The Dean is ready
for you tramps.

STACIE: Oh, jeez.

Ladies,

you have dragged the good name

of Barden University
into the gutter.

And you've really
upset these people

whose names I've
already forgotten.

Your little Southern exposure in
front of our Commander-in-Chief

has irreparably damaged the
entire institution of a cappella.

Just blew it up.

Funding is drying up,
sponsors are pulling out.

- GAIL: Mmm-hmm.
- JOHN: Unfortunately, an example must be made.

It is the decision of
this governing body

that the Bellas are
hereby suspended

- from competing at the collegiate level.
- JESSICA: What?

The terms of your suspension

are laid out in this document.

I'm sorry, but it's over. Hi.

Okay, can we be reasonable?

Fat Amy apologized.
This was an accident.

Was it? (CHLOE GASPS)

You're taking us off
of our victory tour?

Who's gonna sing the national
anthem at the Puppy Bowl?

You're being replaced by
the European champions.

A German group of
total professionals.

In other words, they're
gonna keep their pants on.

So we can't defend our
title and we can't tour?

DEAN: And you can't
hold any auditions.

We don't need your ranks
to grow like a fungus.

CHLOE: Oh, so that's it, then?

So, basically, the
Bellas are over?

JOHN: Look, ladies,

I'm sorry that this disciplinary
action has shocked you.

Especially since
you're all seniors.

But the truth is,

you're just women.

No.

And you'll all be pregnant soon.
Mmm.

EMILY: Mom, I'm late.

It's orientation. You
gotta let me go.

Oh, I can't.

I just can't do it.

Mom, you can do it.

My only daughter,
leaving the nest.

(SINGING) If you leave me now.

You'll take away the
biggest part of me.

Mom. You want me to stop?

(SINGING) Or I could
keep singing!

No, I don't know how
I'm gonna get by

without your
spontaneous singing.

Oh, honey, you're gonna
love this place.

Just promise you'll call.

Oh, and, honey, don't be
afraid to express yourself.

And not with those weird buttons
they wear in their earlobes.

Unless you're gonna get a job...
Mom, slow down.

I'm not gonna do anything crazy.

I'm just gonna write my songs
and join an a cappella group.

Not just any a cappella group.

The Bellas are an institution.

My days as a Bella
were the best...

Best days of your life.

I know. And I can't
wait to be one.

Unless they don't take me, Mom.

Oh, no, honey, they're
gonna take you.

Thanks to me, you
were born into it.

And then I'm gonna
be your mother...

(SINGING) And your sister.

Gross. Okay.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

All right, the next
phase of my life

begins.

CHLOE: Hold on.

There is nothing in here that
strips us of our national title.

And if we're still
reigning champs,

then we are automatically
invited to represent America

at the World Championships
this spring.

Ah, yes, the World
Championships of A Cappella,

where, every four years,

groups from around the globe
compete for world domination.

I'm sorry. I just feel like I
always have to be on, you know.

JOHN: Yeah. Yeah.
Well, look, ladies,

we can't stop you from going
to the Worlds competition.

It's not gonna help
your case here.

GAIL: Not at all.

What if we win it?

JOHN: What if you win it?

(SCOFFS) Like, you...

You out-perform
the other groups?

(JOHN LAUGHING)

How do you fit such big
dreams in such a small body?

What if you win it?

(LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT MOUTHING)

Never.

What if you win it?

- Yeah. If we win, will you reinstate us?
- GAIL: Sure.

But no American
team has ever won.

That's because they hate us.

The whole world.

The whole world hates us.

Hate us.

GIRL: (OVER SPEAKER)
Hello, fresh-persons!

GIRL: (OVER SPEAKER)
Hello, fresh-persons!

Welcome to Barden University!

(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

Okay! The Barden Knight.

Okay, get off the stage. No one
cares about you. All right.

You have made a great
choice, and a cheap one.

Yay, Barden!

We have a very special
performance for you guys today.

The pride and joy of
Barden University,

the Treblamakers!

Thank you! Thank you, thank you.

We are the Treblemakers.

I'm Jesse, and this
is a cappella.

Let's do this!

Hey yo, Trebles!

(SCATTING)

(SINGING BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)

(VOCALIZING)

(CONTINUES SINGING)

Someone drop some bass.

(CONTINUES SINGING
BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)

JESSE: Now I need some baritone.

(ALL SINGING)

(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

All right!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Chloe, don't blame yourself.
Oh, my God!

You're a ginger. That's
punishment enough.

This is not all your fault.
This is on all of us.

So, if we don't win the
Worlds, then what are we?

Just a bunch of girls
that hang out?

What's wrong with that?
(CLICKS TONGUE)

If we don't win, the Bellas are over.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

This is the biggest challenge
that any of us have ever faced.

When I was nine years old, my brother
tried to sell me for a chicken, so...

Well, I will do whoever it takes

in order for us to
get back to the top.

You mean "whatever" it takes.

Yeah, I'll do that, too.

That's great news. Yes.

No, I can start Monday. I would
be stoked to start on...

Sorry, I don't say "stoked."
I don't say stuff like that.

I'm, like, I'm pretty cool.
You're gonna like me.

That was bad, too.

We need to attack
this problem head-on.

I want 100% commitment
and laser focus, right?

Great! I will see you Monday.

Beca out! (MOUTHING)

- Beca.
- BECA: Yeah.

JESSE: Hey, ladies.
Wanna come to a party?

It's a tiki party. You guys
don't even have to wear shoes.

It's the best kind of party.

Here you go. Sure.

Hey, great job, Trebles.
You guys killed it.

Oh, thank you.

You like a cappella? Oh, yeah.

I've got my heart set
on being a Bella.

It's actually at the very
top of all my dream boards.

BENJI: Did I hear
mention of dreams?

Hi. Benjamin Applebaum
at your service. Hello.

I just have to say, you
are so spirited. I...

I just wanna put you in a
box and saw you in half.

JESSE: For magic.

As a part of a trick.
He does magic.

Right. It's only weird
if you don't embrace it.

Dude, explain yourself.

I'll be honest, I completely blacked out.
How'd I do, man?

Honestly? I've
seen you do worse.

Awesome.

STACIE: It's been months and
we're still getting hate mail?

Sucks!

"For your hairy situation"?

Oh.

CHLOE: Okay, we are
officially registered.

Update your passports,
ladies, because we are going

to the very sunny, very
beautiful, Copenhagen!

Yeah! Nice! Yes!

Oh.

Where is that?

I don't know. I failed Maps.

It looks like the competition
has been dominated

by that stupid German group
that took over our tour.

- You mean "stole" our tour.
- AMY: Word.

We need to scout
those Deutsche-bags.

FLO: Yes.

But how good can they be?

Germany hasn't produced a good
singer since David Hasselhoff.

We're gonna crush them.

And when we do,

we can stick it to these chumps

who send us all this
hate mail, like,

"Sonia Sotomayor."

Judgy bitch.

The Bellas are back!

Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
We're back.

Has anyone talked to Beca today?

JESSE: So?

Any first-day jitters?

No, no. You know, I'm just gonna

be moody and distant.
Artists love that.

I know I love that.

Here you go.

Okay.

Dude, why do I feel so guilty?

I've given a lot to
the Bellas, right?

It's, like, three
years of my life.

Yeah, Bec, you should not feel guilty
at all about taking your shot.

This is a big deal, right?

Yes, it's a very big deal. Okay.

Go. All right.

Nothing's gonna stop my girl!

I don't know him!

Becs in effects, y'all!

You can go!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Are you ready, or...
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Okay, everybody, huddle up.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Get up!

Come on! To the table, please!
To the table!

Last one at this table has to
help Frank watch Youtube videos

to find the next Justin Bieber.

Hey, so, I'm turning
25 next week,

if anybody wants to get
some drinks, celebrate.

Frank, buddy, less talk.

Thank you so much.

Okay, my people, check it out.

That...

This... Dax, the tech guy.
Did you call the tech guy?

Yeah, I talked to him.

Do you understand that everything
else in my life works?

Uh-huh.

So, I just need everything
here to work, too, okay?

Well, he said he was gonna call me back.
Oh, my God.

You want me to call him now?

(WHISPERING) Don't do it now.

Okay.

There we go.

That is the Lion himself.

That is the legendary
Snoop D-O-Double-G

singing White Christmas at a
tree-lighting ceremony in Moscow.

And he was so moved
by the power of music

to unite the world or some shit,

that now he wants to drop his
own cool Christmas album.

And because I sleep
on a bed of Grammys,

he has decided to hire
me to produce it. Now...

But Snoop Dogg already
dropped a Christmas album.

If you had listened to
the album like I did,

stranded in the air with T.I.
on a golden hang glider,

then you would have known that none
of the songs were the classics.

I've had to listen to that album
on two separate occasions.

Hang glider with T.I.

and also a rocket ship
that Eminem has built.

It doesn't go anywhere,

but he's got dreams
for it, okay?

So I need you to
close your mouth.

Herein lies the
problem, everybody.

Last time I checked, there are
over a million Christmas albums

with the same 10
damn songs on them.

So, guys, I'm telling you, man,

I need all hands
on deck right now

to come up with ideas on how
to make this one stand out.

Okay? You got it?

Fire when ready. I
want to hear ideas.

Anything.

Anybody.

Anybody right now
would be great.

Anybody to talk... What
if we got those dogs...

Anybody but you.

What if we got those dogs that
bark Jingle Bells to back him up?

And let me, let me, let
me guess, let me guess.

You want those dogs to back him
up because he's "Snoop Dogg"?

Yeah!

That is a really great example

of a horrible idea.

Take a lap.

What? Take a lap.

But I'm wearing skinny jeans.

I don't care.

Go. Go.

Let's go. I wanna see knees up.

Knees up, please.

Guys, I should give you
a little more time.

A minute. You got one minute.
60 seconds.

My time is like a toddler in a tiara, okay?
Precious and short.

I need really great ideas.
Snoop is coming!

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Oh. Sorry, my boobs are all crazy.
I was just jumping.

(STAMMERING) I just came from auditions.
You guys weren't there.

I was hoping for the
chance to sing for you.

No, can't help you. We're not
allowed to take anyone else new.

Oh, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait!

I'm a Junk!

What'd you say about your junk?

I'm Emily Junk.

I know, it's weird. It's
my mom's last name.

My dad's last name
is Hardon, so...

Um...

I'm a Legacy.

Junk. Junk.

My mom was a Bella.

Your mother is Katherine Junk?

Who?

Only the top bitch
of the 1981 Bellas.

She pioneered the
syncopated Booty shake.

And word is she has a
five-octave vocal range.

EMILY: Yep, still does.

You do not want to hear that woman
doing it with my dad. Whew.

What an odd thing to say.

True.

If a Legacy wants to audition,
we have to let her.

Okay, um...

Show us what you got.

Right now? Right here?
Right here, right now.

Yeah.

Okay, um, I'd like to perform an
original song that I've been working on.

I'm not quite finished
with it though,

so let's not be dicks about it.

Sorry, that was
crass, wasn't it?

Fat Amy, you have
a lovely vagina.

Thank you. Proceed.

(SINGING) When tomorrow
comes I'll be on my own.

Feeling frightened of the
things that I don't know.

When tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes.

When tomorrow comes.

And though the road is
long I look up to the sky.

Darkness all around...

No. That one, I'm not... I'm still
kind of tinkering with that verse.

So it's not... Nothing's
really completely set.

(SINGING) I got all I need
when I got you and I.

'Cause I look around me
and see a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

You're getting me, getting
me through the night

(IMITATES DRUMS AND GUITAR)

You are my flashlight.

Would you excuse us
for just one second?

(CLEARS THROAT)

She's pretty good.
Can't we take her?

What do you expect us to say?
She's standing right there.

(CHUCKLES)

She's definitely not a soloist.
No.

Technically, she came to us, so
really we're not breaking any rules.

Yeah, it's the perfect loophole.

You know, it's always good
to have an extra body.

Just in case one of us
gets kidnapped for ransom,

is thrown into a
shipping container,

and is made to eat only
leaves and gas receipts.

Mmm, I agree. We need new blood.

I don't think we should
decide anything without Beca.

(SOFTLY) I keep a penny
under my tongue.

Did anyone else
think it was creepy

that she never really opened
her eyes the whole time?

Again, we're talking about her

- and she's standing right there.
- FLO: Oh, yeah.

But if we're gonna
talk negatives,

let's start with
the giraffe legs.

Okay, let's take a vote on it.

Anyone who wants her
in, sing a G-sharp.

Anyone who doesn't,
sing an E-flat.

STACIE: Okay. One, two...

(ALL VOCALIZING)

I like your shirt.
(CLEARS THROAT)

Welcome to the Bellas!

O-M-a-ca-G! Whoo!

Oh. Stop, girl, stop.
Yeah, stop, stop it.

- Girl, stop.
- EMILY: Sorry.

So, when does initiation start?

Tell you what, I'll go back to my
dorm and pretend to be surprised

when you throw the
hood over my head

and make me solve a Rubik's Cube

while sucking vodka
from a maxi pad.

That's what my mom
said happened.

CHLOE: Mmm, no can do.

Well, look around.

We don't exactly have a
maxi pad to spare, so...

All right, grab your guts, ladies!
It's party time!

We've got tickets to Copenhagen
and a brand new Bella!

(ALL CHEERING)

Let's go! All right.

- Should I.
- CHLOE: Come on, girl!

I'm gonna just
leave my bag here.

STACIE: Let's go
get into treble!

Has this bush always been here?

LILLY: Oh! Watch this.

CYNTHIA: You know
there's a gate, right?

EMILY: Wow.

My first college party.

Yeah, well, this isn't
just any college party.

This is a cappella only! Yeah.

So, get prepared to meet a lot
of sexually confused men.

Bellas! Welcome,
welcome, welcome!

Jesse! Where is Beca? I thought she
was gonna be with you tonight.

I thought she was with you.

I thought she was with you.

Hey! Benji, right?

(MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY)

Those aren't... Okay,
those aren't words.

I'm sorry?

The movies?

Are you asking me out?

Yes. Yeah?

(CHUCKLING) Oh. That's so sweet.

It's just, my... It's my first day.
Um...

I wasn't really planning
on rushing in on anything.

(COUGHING)

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Hey! Oh. Hey! You made it!

Yeah, I couldn't miss our
last Hood Night party.

Oh. So?

How was the internship?

Eye-opening. Yeah, they
do not mess around.

Hey, Chloe asked where you were.

Why didn't you tell her?

Oh. She's just...

She's locked into the
Worlds right now

and I'm looking for
the right time.

I'll tell her.

Bumper's back!

Whoo!

Campus security!

Bumper! Bumper!

Fat Amy's back!

'Cause I never left
'cause I'm still here.

Whoo! But I'm back, so it's a big
deal because I've arrived again!

You know, for someone who
left school years ago,

you're harder to
shake than mono.

I've got some pretty big news.

What?

I have been hand-plucked to
be put on a waiting list

to be put on a very well-known
TV singing competition.

Really? Yep.

I know what you're thinking.

"Oh, Bumper."

"You shut your face
and kiss me, Bumper."

No.

"Bumper, please, just
shut your trap."

That is not how I talk.

You talk exactly like this.
Do not.

Yes, you do.

I don't.

So shut up. You shut up.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hi!

Hi.

I am so excited
to meet the woman

who single-handedly
created the Bella sound.

We're sisters!

I can't believe we're sisters!

Oh! Yeah, hi! Hi!

Chloe texted me we
added a Legacy.

I didn't even know
that was a thing.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Shh.

FLO: Remind me again why
we are at a car show.

We're here for one reason
and one reason only.

To scout the competition.

It's totally gonna
help us win the Worlds

if we know what
we're up against.

(SIGHS) All right.

Now, where are those
tour thieves?

Stacie!

Keep it in your pants, maybe.

Stacie! What?

CHLOE: What the...

This all should have been ours!

I hate these Germans.

FLO: Holy a-ca-mole!

Okay, the cars moved.
Nothing else happened yet.

But they're moving backwards.
With ghosts driving them.

We are Das Sound Machine.

A German collective, operating in
concert to create Sonic mastery.

What better way to appreciate
automotive perfection?

(DAS SOUND MACHINE SINGING
ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG)

(BEATBOXING)

(SINGING)

(VOCALIZING)

(SINGING)

(SCATTING HOUSE MUSIC)

CYNTHIA: Man, they massive!

How are we gonna compete
with a group that size?

STACIE: They're so
freakin' in sync.

(CONTINUES SINGING
ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG)

(SCATTING HOUSE MUSIC)

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

FLO: Do we clap?

Do we clap? Do we clap?

Politely clap.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Barden Bellas. You
came here to see us?

Is it because you are... What do
the American kids say, "Jelly"?

We are so not "jelly."

We should really thank you for
making this tour a reality,

you know, with your
bumbling ineptitude.

We should send them something.
Fruit basket?

Yum, yum.

Or would you prefer
mini-muffins?

Okay, we didn't come here to
start something with you guys.

We just wanted to check you
out before the Worlds,

where we're gonna kick your ass.

What? That's right.

You?

You are the kicker of ass?

(SCOFFS) Yeah.

You are so tiny.

Like an elf.

Or is it a fairy? Sprite?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

"Troll."

KOMMISSAR: That's it.
You are like a troll.

You

are physically flawless.

Thank you.

But it doesn't mean I like you.

CHLOE: We are not scared
about the Worlds,

because when the Bellas hit the
stage, we are gonna blow minds.

PIETER: With what?

More of Flabby
Abby's baby chute?

That's not my name.

PIETER: I don't know your name.

Could be anything.

Obese Denise, Inflexible
Tina, Lazy Susan.

Mein name ist Fat Amy, und I
eat krauts like you for lunch.

Your team is like a... How do you say that?
A heated mess.

You know, a mess where
heat is applied to it,

so what once was a little
messy is now even messier.

Darlings, please take my advice.

Don't try to beat us.

You can't.

We're the best.

And now I really must
go rest my neck.

It is sore from
looking down on you.

BECA: Okay,

just because you're making
me very sexually confused,

does not mean that you
are intimidating.

We have nothing to lose.

We have literally nothing! Okay.

A-ca wiedersehen, bitches!

Oh, what is happening? I
am using my hands so much.

CHLOE: All right,
ladies, focus up.

We need to beat those
German dummkopfs.

- AMY: Yes!
- CYNTHIA: Yeah.

Okay, we're gonna beat
DSM at their own game.

Do what they do, just better.

And we're about to do a
full skills assessment

to blow out our
choreography to match.

But the important thing is
that we have fun, right?

Uh, Legacy, don't take
this the wrong way,

but you're the dumbest
person alive.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

And you're a cat! (GROWLS)

CHLOE: And one...

Okay, Lilly, that's
really scaring me.

BECA: That just looks weird.

People are not birds.

(GIRLS EXCLAIM)

CHLOE: Cartwheel. And roll!
Amy, that wasn't a roll.

Again.

Is it weird that we never got
around to singing today?

Uh, well, it's kind of
hard to start singing

without arrangements,
and that's on me.

So thank you for reminding me.

Yeah, Bec, we're
gonna need that ASAP

so we can start nailing
down our choreography.

Right on top of that, Chlo.
Awes!

Yeah, awes.

So I just wanted to let you know

that I've been
working really hard

on, you know, calming my nerves
and keeping my eyes open.

I was wondering if you could
give me some pointers, maybe.

And, you know, with
the singing...

I don't know exactly where you're
gonna put me in the songs, but I...

I don't mean to be rude. I just
have somewhere that I need to be.

Um...

You did great today.

Thanks.

(CHORUS LINE SINGING)

(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)

Wait, hold up. Just
hold up for a second.

"Wait, hold up"?

Man, I sound awesome right now.
What are you talking about?

Nah! It's not you,
it's a tech thing.

So just you go ahead
and take five.

It better be a tech thing,

'cause the way I sound in my
eardrums, this is immaculate, man.

This song, there's nothing,
nothing special about it yet.

Do you know what I mean?

Any ideas? Because I...

All right, um, hear me out.

Please, Dax. Please...

We could remove the sleigh bells

and put in kalimba.

You know, the finger thing.

I know what a kalimba does. I
know how it's operated, okay?

DAX: Kalimba...
Don't say it again.

Go in the corner. Go eat
your lunch in the corner.

But what am I gonna
do with my sriracha?

Say one more hipster thing,

and I'm gonna shove you in
your vintage bassoon case.

Okay?

Turn.

Aim higher, people. Okay?

And be very careful what
you pitch to me next.

Um, just have him sing
it again, the same way.

Who are you?

Nobody. Literally nobody.
I just had a thought.

No, okay, okay.

Sure.

Nobody else has an idea.

Let's, uh, do it
exactly the same way.

Again.

Will do, nephew.

(CHORUS LINE SINGING)

(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)

(SAMPLING BEATS)

(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)

Or it can be something different.
It can...

Okay. (SHUSHING)

That was amazing, Snoop.

Thank you so very much.

You can take a small break, man.

Everything, perfection.
Perfection.

Groovy like a drive-in movie.

You can sing.

Um, yeah, I'm a three-time collegiate
a cappella champion, so...

We're both huge successes
in our fields.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's say that.

Uh, what do you do here?

I just get coffee and
burritos and stuff.

I wanna produce music.

Dax? Can you do me a favor?

Turn around right now,
and watch this exchange.

That's "value added." Okay?

If you have any
demos you'd like me

to listen to, I'll
make the time.

Oh, seriously?

Mmm-hmm. Seriously, yeah. Oh!

Dax, did you see
what happened there?

Uh-huh. She did something
that was helpful.

And now I'm going to reward her
by listening to her demos.

Turn back around.

Now! Turn around, please.

So, Snoop, uh, buddy,
we've got an idea.

SNOOP: Me, too.

Water skis, but for dry land.

Real playa. You know
what I'm talking about?

Brilliant.

(CHUCKLES) Fo shizzle, dizzle.

I'll write that down.

Yeah, please.

What am I looking at?

(LAUGHING) We're
pillow fighting!

Aah!

You know this sets women
back, like, 30 years?

We're just relieving
some stress.

This was on the porch.

Ooh.

What is that? Looks fancy.

(MEN VOCALIZING)

(VOCALIZING STOPS)

(MEN VOCALIZING)
(VOCALIZING STOPS)

(MEN VOCALIZING)

Looks like we've been invited to
sing at some kind of a party.

We're going to sing?

Finally!

Well, there's just an
address and a password.

How sexy and mysterious. Yeah.

Like how all my teeth
are from other people.

Ow!

CHLOE: Anyone else scared?

FLO: Not really. I already
lived longer than I expected.

HOST: Password.

Fart noise.

HOST: Did you not see
the parentheses?

(MAKING FART NOISE)

Bellas! I'm so glad you all came.
Come on in.

Standing in front
of you, ladies,

happens to be the world's
biggest a cappella fan.

We found you!

Hello. Here I am.

What can we do for you?

So, last week when I was having
a tinkle, it occurred to me...

Do not, do not!

Sorry.

That was rude.

You do not come to a gentleman's
house and touch his goose.

So are we early, or...

Actually, you're pretty late.
Come on, let's go!

This is the big time.

(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)

(CHLOE GASPS)

Das Sound Machine, two o'clock.

Tiny Mouse! We meet again.

Another verbal beatdown.

Highlight of my day.

So, have you abandoned your foolish
plans to face us at the Worlds?

You wish, you gorgeous specimen.

She's really in my head.

KOMMISSAR: Very well.

I'll be happy to send you there.

I'll mail you.

Large envelope costs nothing.

PIETER: Well, it will
cost more than nothing.

But still cheaper than shipping, like,
a horse, or perhaps an adult moose.

Did you ever think
maybe you're too big?

- It would cost a fortune to mail you.
- CHLOE: Easy.

You're enormous!

CHLOE: Okay.

I think we should change her
name to "Feisty Mouse."

Yeah.

BECA: Just need to find, like,
a taller pair of shoes.

Wasn't a big deal. Hey!

Hey! What are you doing here?
What is going on? (GONG RINGING)

HOST: Welcome! I
guess I gotta go.

No. Why? I don't know.

Welcome to the first
ever showdown

of the National A Cappella
Laser Ninja Dragon League!

(ALL CHEERING)

Can you dig it?

Okay, let's meet our teams.

First we have The Treblemakers!

Yeah!

Okay. We have the Barden Bellas.

(CROWD CHEERING)

We have the Tone Hangers!

(SINGING) Sorbet Sorbet.

Sorbet Sorbet.

And a cherry on top.

And taking a break from
their national tour,

Das Sound Machine!

- DSM!
- ALL: Ja!

DSM! Ja!

DSM! Ja!

And the pride of Wisconsin,
the Green Bay Packers!

Let's go! Here we go, baby!

Let's go! What?

I'd like to be the brisket
in that man-sandwich.

Well, here's how
this is gonna work.

When I point to you,
you sing a song

from one of the
categories that's gonna

appear up there
on the big board.

There's only one rule.

You have to meet the beat.
Here, come here.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(BEATBOXING)

But you have to do it
"Follow the Leader" style.

(BEATBOXING)

(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

(ALL CHEERING) Oh, boy!

Oh, goodness.

That was fun.

Now, if you can't carry the
tune, the whole team's out.

As in, you gone! And then...

Cornelius, this is too heavy.
I told you before.

Because I hurt my arm
saluting the flag.

Okay, sorry.

Now, the winners will get

epic bragging rights!

What? That's it?

HOST: Oh. And I'm sorry.
Did I not mention this?

A $42,000 gift card to Dave and Buster's!
(ALL CHEERING)

BUMPER: I was going there anyway.
I was going there anyway.

I know Clay Matthews wants it.

Okay. All right, let's
get this thing started.

Let's take a look at
the first category.

Ooh. Songs about butts.

Okay.

Anything on the radio,
basically, right? Right.

HOST: Think about what
you're gonna sing.

Let's start with
Das Sound Machine!

(BEATBOXING)

(SINGING R&B SONG)

(SINGING FUNK SONG)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

(SINGING R&B SONG)

(SCATTING)

(SINGING DIRTY RAP SONG)

(SINGING) Girl, I
love that butt.

But the butt's not what
matters You know what does?

Courtship and chivalry I'll
take you to a nice hot meal.

And I'll tip the waiter.

HOST: Oh, my God, stop! Stop!

What was that, yo? (ALL BOOING)

Not how we play the game.

You think you're a better
lyricist than Sir Mix-a-Lot,

a man who was knighted by Queen?

You know the band Queen? Yes.

No, sir, I do not. I just...
I couldn't help it.

I caught a glimpse of an angel.

I got inspired.

Well, you're going to hell.

Because, Treblemakers, you gone!

(ALL CHEERING) You gone!

Bye-bye. (MOUTHING) Sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

HOST: Four left.

Let's take a look at
the next category!

Oh. Country love!

Oh! Oh, oh! I am all about this!

Nobody in this room has loved
more tender than I have.

Please pick us.

Let me have it.

- Let us have it. Let the world have it.
- DONNY BARCLAY: Yeah!

I would give it to him.

All right, then. Well, why
don't we start with you?

Tone Hangers, you're up.
You're up.

CLAY MATTHEWS: What?

All right, I got this. I got this.
I got this.

This is my jam!

How about them Cowboys?

(SINGING COUNTRY SONG)

(SINGING COUNTRY POP SONG)

Come on, man.

I got nothing. Come on!

God damn it! I got
nothing, guys!

DONNY BARCLAY: What?

(ALL BOOING)

- I'm sorry.
- DONNY BARCLAY: You blew it.

Man, you are such a
dis-a-ca-pointment.

Reginald Wilson
Moncrieff Matthews IV,

what on God's green
one are you doing?

I had my mind on those
42 G's at D and B's.

I'm afraid you've kissed
that goodbye. No!

- Green Bay Packers...
- GREEN BAY PACKERS: No, no, no!

- You gone!
- GREEN BAY PACKERS: No!

(ALL CHEERING)

Let's see what the
next category is!

Oh.

Yes! Oh!

Oh, I was his
personal assistant!

- Unfair!
- WOMAN: Come on.

Yes, yep. We got this.

Yeah, we got this. Get in there.

Okay, then why don't we start
with you, Das Sound Machine?

(MAN BEATBOXING)

(SCATTING)

(SINGING POP SONG)

(SINGING BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)

(SINGING FUNK SONG)

Is that John Mayer?

- (ALL BOOING)
- BUMPER: That doesn't deserve a "boo."

I killed that!

Explain for everyone,

because it sounds
like you're implying

that John Mayer and Tina
Turner are having...

Oh, yeah.

Get them out! Get them out!

I don't know if I believe him.

(STAMMERING) I'm
telling the truth!

HOST: Tone Hangers,

you gone!

Two! We have our final two!

Now we have a showdown!

All right, come on in.

Let's do this face-off style.
Okay.

Let's take a look, see what
your final category is.

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

'90s hip-hop jams!

Okay, y'all, take a
second to think about it.

Time's up! Go!

(BEATBOXING)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SOUL SONG)

(SINGING R&B SONG)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SOUL SONG)

(SINGING ALTERNATIVE
HIP-HOP SONG)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

I got all I need when
I got you and I.

'Cause I look around me
and see a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

CHLOE: What?

You're getting me, getting
me through the night

I'm sorry.

What '90s hip-hop
jam is that again?

Um...

More like a 21 st century jam.

That's it. Yeah. I wrote it.

Just stay calm.

You're saying it's an original?

Yes, I'm saying
it's an original.

Boo! (ALL BOOING)

BUMPER: Go home, little girl!

Our jam is covers!

We spit on originals!

What is your name?

Emily.

Emily.

I hate you.

In light of this embarrassing

and unprofessional information,

I am forced to declare...

I'm sorry, guys.

- Das Sound Machine is the winner!
- DAS SOUND MACHINE: Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh.

(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)

Hey, did you really write that?

You shouldn't have
done that, Emily.

Now DSM thinks that they
have the drop on us.

I'm sorry. I panicked.

I understand if you want me to
crawl under a rock and die.

Hey, we don't want...

Hey, we don't want that.

JESSE: Hey, Becs,

let's go meet the Green Bay Packers.
Okay.

Whew.

Boo! (LAUGHING)

I'm just kidding. Would you
like to have sex later?

No!

So that's a "no," then?

Because with the wink,
and that's what...

It's 100% no!

I want it! Give me!

Dax. I swear, if this kid
was not my nephew...

Hey, I know you're crazy busy,

but have you had a chance
to check out those demos?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

This dead air between
us is a good sign.

(SIGHS) Look,

you got a great ear,

you proved that in the booth,

and I was super excited
to hear what else you had

and what you gave me
was more mash-ups.

That's sort of what I do.

Listen, Reggie. Is it "Reggie"?

"Beca."

Um, that happens a lot, though.
You'd be surprised.

Okay.

Here's the thing.

Um, any kid with ears and
a laptop can do that.

Dax can do that.

All right? Right.

So that's fine if
you want a career

deejaying raves out
in the desert.

But if you want to write "music
producer" on your tax forms someday,

then you've gotta have an original voice.
Do you understand?

You've gotta show
me what you have.

Right now, what I have is a
demo with mash-ups on it.

Yeah, yeah.

I got lots of stuff to say.
I'm just saving it all up.

Look...

Uh...

What is it? "Beca"? Beca.

Okay, yeah.

So, you're an intern,

and everybody else in
here is an intern.

You're talented, everybody
else in here is talented.

So what the hell makes you special?
Do you know what I mean?

That's good.

So what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna give you one more shot

to show me who you are as an artist.
Okay?

Do not waste it.

No, sir, will not waste it.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I really hope you
don't, for your sake.

'Cause I would hate to think

that singing covers in an a
cappella group is all you can do.

Please replace the paper towels.

(PIANO NOTE PLAYING)

JESSE: (ON RECORDING) Hey, it's Jesse.
Text me.

Hey, it's me. Um...

Hey, so you might not be
able to hear this message,

because, it turns out,
I have nothing to say.

Um...

That's music industry
speak for "I suck."

You're definitely
asleep right now.

That's cool.

Text me when you're up.

Hey.

What?

A girl can't say
she's going to grab

a smoothie and return
14 hours later?

There's nothing
suspicious about that.

Why are you up so late anyways?

Um, I was just figuring
some stuff out.

You're working on the set?

Um...

I'm not working on the set.
I'm just, like...

What?

Nothing. Doesn't matter.

(PIANO NOTE PLAYING)

If you did wanna share
something with me,

your best friend,

I'm a great keeper of secrets.

I'm like a safe that locks,

with a key,

and the key is stashed up my bum.
Because...

It's fine. Forget it.
It's all good.

So this has nothing to do with that
internship that you sneak off to?

What?

Um... Come on, Beca.

You know how we do
that thing every month

where I take $20 out of your purse
and you pretend not to notice?

I saw your ID badge in your bag.

Don't be mad.

(STAMMERING) I'm
not mad, actually.

About the badge.

The money, I wanna come back to.

Shh.

Let's just focus on your lie.

Beca,

why didn't you tell us?

Or at least Chloe.

I don't know. Just...
'Cause it's just easier.

There's, like, so much going on,
and Chloe would lose her mind

if she thought my sole focus
wasn't winning Worlds.

Sorry, it's just now
I'm freaking out,

because it turns out,
like, I'm totally

not good enough to
be a music producer.

Which is cool and fun to know
as I enter the rest of my life.

Okay, I'm just gonna
stop you right there.

You're the most talented
person that I know,

and I've met three
of The Wiggles.

Intimately.

Oh.

Beca, do you know how
awesome you are?

You're Beca effing Mitchell.

Okay?

You're "The Big B.M."

That's you.

And you're awesome!

Do you need some
of my confidence?

'Cause I could maybe
tone mine down a notch.

Yeah, okay.

Then let me rub some out.

Oh, okay.

Wait. Think you need a bit more.

It comes from there?

Okay. Thank you. You
just need that.

I'm gonna get you
the good stuff now.

No, I don't want
butt confidence.

I don't want your
butt confidence!

No! I have enough!

(SCREAMING) I have enough!
I have enough!

(MUMBLING)

(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) I
believe in you, Beca.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Come on.

Whoa. Candles, cloth napkins,

foods other than salsa. Yep.

This is a little classier
than our typical hook-ups.

Is it? Huh.

I have a patisserie,

some charcuterie,

and a huge bowl
of exotic capers.

I didn't know what those were,
but they're like salty peas.

So,

I don't know if you've
seen the news lately,

but there's a war.

And also, the economy

is dipping and
ebbing and flowing.

Bumper, what's going on?

Now you're kind of
creeping me out.

Okay, I guess I'll just
lay it all out there.

The reason that I brought
you here tonight

was because I was thinking that

maybe, perhaps,

if you're interested...

This is harder than I
thought it was gonna be.

I wanna date you.

That's what I want.

Like for real. Like
a real couple.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Where we, like, go out
in public and hold hands

and ride bikes together.

Or we, like, go to an
orchard and pick apples.

Or we, like, do one
of those, like,

Build-A-Bear Workshops together,

and we build bears,

and you name one "Bumper" and
I'll name one "Fat Amy,"

and yours will be bigger
than mine and it'll be cute,

and we can put them on
our bed that we share.

What do you say?

No.

I don't...

I don't do that.

Yeah, that's cool.

It was a... Cool.

It was a stupid idea anyways.
Yeah.

Obviously, we shouldn't do that.
We should just

go back to how things used to be

and just go at it on top of all
this expensive food that I bought.

Are you crying?

Nope.

No, I'm not.

Bumper!

Come on, you can't be serious.

I can't be tied
down by anything.

I'm on a walkabout.

I'm a free-range pony
that can't be tamed.

(MIMICKING HORSE TROTTING)

(MIMICS NEIGHING)

You know.

Okay. I'm like a firework.

(MIMICS EXPLOSIONS)

I can't be tied down. Okay.

Then that's it. Then I
guess that's it, right?

Because I'm not gonna
keep going on like this.

Well... Fine.

Fine, if that's how you feel,
then I think we're done.

I think it's over.

That's it? That's it, then.

So it's over, then.

Fine. Then it's over.

Fine, then.

BUMPER: No!

Too late. You're too late!

I figured when we
didn't do the serenade,

the back-up plan should
be to play her off.

BUMPER: Turn around. Go back.

I don't wanna hear another peep!

(SINGING) Trebles for life.

BUMPER: Benji! I'm sorry.

EMILY: Hey, guys, it's
my first performance.

CHLOE: Calm down. It's just a chance
for us to rehearse for Worlds.

As far as I can tell, it's just
for a bunch of old people.

(VOCALIZING)

(BEATBOXING IN GRUFF VOICE)

There's a full house out there.

How did we get this gig again?

They called us.

You know what, guys?

I know we're trying
a lot of new stuff,

but I feel like we're
gonna get out there

and we're gonna feel the energy

and we are just gonna
nail all of it!

Sorry, these braids
are so tight.

You know what? I don't know.
I don't know.

I have many, many doubts,

because if we fail this, then
we won't win the Worlds,

and if we don't win the Worlds,
there will be no more Bellas,

and without the Bellas,

then my life would
have had no...

"Malaria."

"Meaning," Flo.

Three, two...

Hey, everybody. Welcome
back to Let's Talk-Appella,

the portable podcast edition.

We are following the story of
the embattled Barden Bellas

on their road to redemption.

Trying to crawl their way back
into the public's affection.

And if they can just hold off

showing us any more
of their genitalia,

they may make it to the
World Championship.

Well, I can't un-see it.

It's haunted me ever since.

Well, there's a picture
of it right here.

No. This should not be
your screensaver, John.

JOHN: Stepping onto the
stage, the Barden Bellas.

(BELLAS HUMMING)

(SINGING ELECTROPOP SONG)

Whoa! All right!

- This is some exciting stuff.
- GAIL: So sassy!

(SINGING TECHNOPOP SONG)

JOHN: Wow. A lot
going on up there.

I think this sounds good.

Honestly, my senses are
overwhelmed here, John.

JOHN: They might wanna
tone down the theatrics.

Let's hope there are no props.

GAIL: Oh, they brought
the props out, John.

JOHN: And there are the props.

This is more of a circus act
than an a cappella performance.

Gail, it's as if
the Barden Bellas

just don't know who
they are anymore.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

LILLY: Whoa!

GAIL: Look at this!

She's on fire! She's on fire!

CYNTHIA: Oh, my God!
I'm on fire!

JOHN: Now they lit one on fire.

Good day! Good heavens!
(GASPS) Oh.

- FLO: Incoming!
- CYNTHIA: Oh, my God, I can't breathe!

I can't breathe, girl! Fat
Amy, I can't breathe!

GAIL: Beating DSM seems
impossible for this team.

Even these common people can see

that the Barden Bellas have
no shot at reinstatement.

They are an embarrassment

to a cappella and all
that it stands for.

This is what happens when
you send girls to college.

Is it?

Is that for a class?

No, it's just when
I get stressed,

words sort of flow
right out of me

and I try and channel
them in my songwriting...

Are we just gonna ignore
what happened back there?

Guys, hello?

The Worlds are right
around the corner

and you guys are acting like we
didn't just eat a big bag of... Ahhh!

Why are you yelling at me?

I almost burned to death
because of you a-ca-bitches.

If you almost died,
it was only because

you were standing
in the wrong spot.

No! Flo flipped into me!

Sure. Blame the minority.

I'm black, gay, and a woman.

I'm not pointing the
finger at anybody.

It was Legacy's fault.

Me? Wait, I didn't...

Obviously, we're not gonna beat
Das Sound Machine at their game.

So we need a new plan.
Like, now.

At times like these, there's
only one thing for us to do.

- Fake your own death and flee the country.
- CHLOE: Close.

We're going on a retreat.

KATHERINE: Look, I think the
retreat will be a good thing.

You girls need to bond
heading into Worlds.

It'll be so much fun.

I don't know. No, Mom, it's bad.
It's...

The girls are yelling at each other.
Oh, big deal.

I remember putting
your godmother,

Maggie Pistol, in a choke hold,

because she insisted that
George Michael was gay.

Who? Oh.

I'm just worried that
my entire Bella career

will be that one
terrible performance.

And I'll never get to solo
at Lincoln Center, you know?

But you're gonna get
to go to Europe.

That would have been the
highlight of my college career.

And you girls can win it.

You have to win it.

You just made being a
Bella sound so amazing.

And it is amazing.

It's a sisterhood that is gonna support
you for the rest of your life.

I know you're not feeling it,

but you will.

This won't be the
end of the Bellas.

Hey, Benji.

Emily!

Listen, I think you're missing a word here.
What's that?

Oh, God. No. That's not... That
isn't what I meant. I just...

EMILY: I didn't think so.

That's really embarrassing.
No, it looks...

Syntax is usually my forte,

so I don't know how that happened.
Well, it looks great.

Thank you. That's
really sweet...

Um...

When my hands aren't
covered in glitter paint,

do you think maybe we
could try that again?

Yeah. Sure.

All right. Okay. Well...

(STAMMERING) I'll
look forward to that.

Just, you know,

let me know when they're clean.
That's...

I will. All right.

You bet. Okay.

All right. Have a good one.

CHLOE: Okay, girls!
Everyone, in the bus.

Go, go, go!

- CHLOE: Let's go.
- FLO: Okay.

CHLOE: Seatbelts!

(HONKING HORN)

EMILY: Good luck, Benji!

This place is sweet!

It's nice, right?

I need to find somewhere
to charge my laptop.

How'd you hear about this place?

From yours truly.

Hello, Bellas.

ALL: Aubrey!

- AMY: Aubrey!
- FLO: Aubrey!

Okay, girls.

Oh, wow. Hi! You must be Emily.

EMILY: Hey, hey. Hey. Hi.

Welcome to The Lodge
at Fallen Leaves,

where Fortune 500 companies send

their employees to
build teamwork skills.

You run this whole place?

You know, I realized
I had a knack for

barking orders and
bending people's will.

So I made a career out of it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Which reminds me,

fall in line, Bellas!

CYNTHIA: She ain't changed.

No slouching! No straggling!

I see you, Jessica.

It is with great
sorrow and regret

that I had to watch our
once proud organization

become a national disgrace!

Can I have the keys
to the minibar?

Zip it.

The Worlds signifies a
shot at redemption.

You don't have a
chance at winning

until you find your sound again.

You have totally
lost your Harmony!

So, for the next two days,

you will be doing everything
together until you regain it.

Ladies, get ready
to be transformed.

You are surrounded with the
strength of your fellow Bellas

and the support of a
proud female tradition.

And a few dozen bear traps.

So don't stray too far
from the marked paths.

- Okay, great, let's go!
- EMILY: All right.

Well, maybe I'll just
start with a hot shower,

maybe a little foot rub.

Fat Amy, there are no
guest rooms for you.

Then where are we staying?

I don't understand camping.

We're voluntarily
living like dogs.

BECA: This is the worst.

The air we're breathing right
now is at least 90% fart.

That reminds me,

I need to see a man
about a horse.

Oh!

Did anyone happen to pack a
spare roll of toilet paper?

- Or a moist towelette?
- CHLOE: Nope.

Anyone have a T-shirt,
size extra-small?

Okay. Side of the tent it is.

(WHISPERING) What
are we doing here?

We're bonding.

You seem so tense. Do
you need a back rub?

Several body parts are rubbing
my back right now, thank you.

You know, Beca,
we're very close,

but I feel like this retreat
is really gonna let us

discover everything
about each other.

Is that right?

You know, one of
my biggest regrets

is that I didn't do enough
experimenting in college.

You're so weird.

Thanks.

I wanna go home.

I hope the sun never comes up.

(GASPS)

Why do I get the travel pillow?

Were you touching my goodies?

Yes.

AMY: Oh, guys, I've got a little...
It won't...

I just need some
help getting it out.

Can you sing something?

The pipe's a bit blocked.

(SINGING POP ROCK SONG)

AMY: Thanks, Chloe.

(ALL SINGING)

What kind of white shit is this?

AMY: Coming out like froyo now.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Up and at 'em, Bellas!
Come on! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's wake up!
Let's do this!

Come on! Pick up
the pace, girls!

Come on!

Today we are going
back to the basics

to re-learn how to
sing as a group,

while also enduring death-defying
team-building trust exercises.

What a great idea!

AUBREY: Okay, so let's begin.

(SINGING BOOGIE-WOOGIE SONG)

Come on.

(ALL SINGING)

(SINGING R&B SONG)

AUBREY: Trust your team!

- EMILY: Careful, Fat Amy!
- AMY: Turn me over!

Come on, lunch!

(SINGING SOUL SONG)

AMY: She says she's Asian Jesus.

(SINGING R&B SONG)

(SCATTING)

(VOCALIZING)

(ALL SINGING)

Great.

Okay, that was two steps
away from being almost fine.

Sorry, what are we doing?

We're rediscovering our sound.

BECA: Are we?

'Cause it feels like
we're just singing songs

that would never go in our set.

CHLOE: Beca, come on.

No, none of us know how to
beat Das Sound Machine,

but I know it's not
gonna be by doing this.

This is just an exercise
in finding Harmony, Beca.

Sometimes you have
to break things down

before you can build
them back up again.

I've got more important
things to do!

What could be more
important than this?

Nothing. Forget it.

No, you don't think that
we haven't all realized

you've been a little
checked-out lately?

Come on, Beca, just tell her.

CHLOE: I heard that.

Tell me what?

Oh, you misunderstood me.
I clearly said...

(MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY)

Listen, I don't want
you guys to fight.

You're Beca and Chloe.
Together you're "Bloe."

And everyone loves a good bloe.

So...

Okay.

I've been interning
at a recording studio

and a legit music producer
wants to hear my work.

God forbid I have something
going on outside this group.

Okay.

So why would you keep
something like that from us?

'Cause you're obsessed!
You all are.

We're graduating,
and the only person

thinking about life
after the Bellas is me.

What is so wrong with being
focused on the Bellas?

This has been my family
for seven years.

Yeah, 'cause you're
too scared to leave!

Sack up, dude!

Girl fight!

Okay, so you've been lying
to us for the entire year

and now you're just
gonna flake out?

Now you're gonna flake out when

the Worlds is, like,
right after graduation?

Oh, my God! Enough
about the Worlds! I...

I'm out of here.

Oh, okay, you're just
gonna leave now?

BECA: We all have to,
eventually, Chloe!

It might as well be now!

Wait, Beca...

If you all knew what was good
for you, you'd follow me.

Beca, the sign! (BECA SCREAMING)

BECA: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Oh, no, Beca! Beca!

BECA: What the hell? I'm stuck!

I'm stuck! I'm seeing spots!
I'm seeing spots!

CHLOE: Well, well, well.

Look who needs our help.

BECA: Not cool, guys!

No, what's not cool is you taking
out your frustrations on us!

Really? That's what you're
gonna say to me right now?

Help me! I'm dying! I'm dying!

(SCREAMS) (ALL GASP)

We need to get her down!
We need a ladder!

- No, we don't believe in ladders.
- BECA: What?

They suggest a
corporate hierarchy

that is counter-productive
to my team-building program.

What kind of operation
are you running here?

Seriously, this whole place is,
like, full of booby traps!

And guess what?

Boobs should never be trapped!

Unless it's for support if
you have lower back issues.

Okay! If I'm about
to die, I'm sorry!

I didn't mean any of
that stuff I said!

I love all of you! I love
all of you awesome nerds,

and I love being a Bella. I'm just so
stressed out right now... (SCREAMS)

Oh, my God! Oh, my gosh!

Jessica and Ashley, I don't actually
know which one of you is which.

I'm Jessica! I'm Jessica!

CHLOE: Don't worry, we're
gonna get you down! Focus up.

Get in formation, we can do this.
Flo, get up. Okay.

- Fat Amy, come on!
- AMY: Yes!

Let's focus. Work
together as a team.

Don't worry, Beca, we got...

(ALL SCREAMING)

FLO: She's alive. (PANTING)

I sleep upside down like a bat.

BECA: It's just everything's
changing so fast

and I'm putting all this
pressure on myself, you know?

I don't wanna fail.

But if you just would
have said something...

Yeah, I know. But I'm
weird about that stuff.

I thought I could figure it
out on my own, and I can't.

Maybe I don't have
anything original to say.

I wish I could do what you do.

Well, I feel the
same way about you.

You're so good,
it's intimidating.

All I've ever wanted
is to be one of you.

Not a Legacy, but a Bella.

- You are a real Bella.
- CYNTHIA: Of course you're a Bella.

You are one of us. You
paid the registration fee.

That's for life, dude.

Do you wanna collaborate
on something?

(CHUCKLES)

Wait. Are you being serious?

Yeah.

Yeah!

Wow!

Man! Yes! Who else feels
like a winner tonight?

(ALL CHEERING)

I know it doesn't seem like it,

but I'm afraid, too.

To move on, to graduate.

It's really scary.

Yeah, it actually
does seem like it,

because you're barely
holding it together.

Well, it doesn't have
to be scary, Chloe.

When I was graduating, I
never pictured myself

running a retreat in the
middle of the woods,

but here I am.

Take it from someone who has dealt
with some serious control issues.

Like my dad always said,

in the minefield of life,

you must be prepared
to lose both feet.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

And I think you all
know what I mean.

I don't.

Then it's decided.

This year I will graduate.

The Worlds will be my swan song.

I mean it. I'll
pursue my passion.

I'll teach underprivileged
children how to sing,

or I'll dance exotically.

Whatever offers the most money.

CYNTHIA: Yo, check this out.

I'm moving to Maine
to get hitched.

And all y'all can come.

Everybody's invited.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, okay, guys. Stop asking.
I'll tell you.

So, after I graduate there's
a chance I will be deported.

I will try to re-enter
this country,

but I will probably die at sea.

So, let's live for tonight! Yes!

Yeah! (ALL CHEERING)

- STACIE: Yes!
- EMILY: All right.

Lilly, any plans?

Just gonna travel through time.

You know, when I
look back on this,

I won't remember
performing and competing.

I'm gonna remember you weirdos.

It makes me really sad to think

it won't ever be
like this again.

I'm gonna miss you guys.

Me, too. Me, too.

Yeah. Me, too.

(SINGING FOLK-POP SONG)

Did we just find our sound?

I think we did.

My work here is done.

Thank you.

Fat Amy, you never told us what you
were gonna do after graduation.

AMY: Oh. Well...

Mmm.

No, I don't have any plans.

'Cause you guys know me, I just
love living in the moment.

Ashley, what are you
gonna do after...

Actually, though,

if we were to stop
and really think,

"What could Fat Amy be
capable of in the future?"

I'll tell you guys.

I'd be living somewhere, like,
sick, like Tulsa or Little Rock.

By day, I'm a professional jelly
wrestler for corporate events.

And then, every night,

it's just me cuddled up with
my fiancé, Bumper, and...

Oh, wait.

I'm in love with Bumper.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Okay, I've done
something terrible,

and I'm not talking about crop-dusting
Chloe and Beca right now.

Apologize for that.

You guys, I need
to go right now.

And I need to win back my man!

Screw your judgments!

(ALL ENCOURAGING)

Go get him, Fat Amy!

(SCREAMING)

AMY: Guys, what happened?

Shake it off, Amy.

CYNTHIA: That was bad.

AMY: Somebody bring a s'more.

BENJI: I give you our
next album cover.

Look at him!

I did it all myself today.

Now, I know that I
only have one vote...

BENJI: You got no votes, man.
You're not in the group, so...

Okay, well, that
hurts my feelings.

It's just the truth,
is the thing.

Well, that hurts my feelings.

With my vote, I vote
"no" to the pig

and "yes" to this gloriousness.

BENJI: Yeah, it's great. We'll
put it to a vote later. No.

AMY: Bumper, I'm coming!

(SINGING SOFT ROCK SONG)

Nope! Turn it around!

(CONTINUES SINGING)

I don't wanna see you!

(AMY CONTINUES SINGING)

Whew. Really misjudged
the size of this lake.

Why didn't she just
walk around the lake?

Fat Amy doesn't do
anything small.

Yes, I've been using
my shower shoes.

Okay, I love you, too.
Here she is.

What up, Mrs. Junk?

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(PANTING)

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(HONKING HORN)

Go!

Well, what are you doing?

I'm soloing, here!

(HONKING HORN) Whatever!

(CONTINUES SINGING)

No!

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(CONTINUES SINGING
SOFT ROCK SONG)

(BOTH SINGING)

Well, all right.

All right, let's go.
Into the house.

AMY: Give me that neck.

I mean, we can do...
Do you want it...

Do you feel like you'd want
to layer a bunch of voices?

I think in the beginning
it could definitely build.

I think it starts
out light, though.

Get your cute butt
in the studio, then.

Don't tell my boss that we
were in here, by the way.

(SINGING) I got all I need
when I got you and I.

'Cause I look around me
and see a sweet life.

This is... Wow!

It's the real deal.

Yeah, don't touch
anything, Legacy.

You're very pretty,
but you seem clumsy.

Great.

Okay.

Can't lie it's a sweet life

(INAUDIBLE)

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

You're getting me Getting
me through the night

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)

You're my flashlight.

You're my flashlight.

You're my flashlight.

Okay, so you produced this?

Uh, yes. Emily wrote it.

Mmm-hmm. Who's Emily? I am.

This tall drink of water, right there.
Hey. Emily.

Well...

Um... (MUMBLING)

I don't... I don't...
I don't like it.

What it is, is I don't like it
when people can do what I can do.

You know, in a manner of
speaking, it's threatening.

But, you just did it.

And I have a...

(MUMBLING)

I have a few notes that I
assume that you're open to.

Yes. Um, but this
is a solid demo,

with real potential.

Yeah, I look forward
to working together.

It's nice to meet you.

What is it? Elizabeth? Emily.

Emily. Elizabeth? What?

Emily. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh. I gotta jump on a call.

Yeah, no. No, get it in there.
Get it in there. Attagirl.

You want one of these? Oh, hey.

You want one of those? There you go.
Attagirl. Ow!

Good job, Reggie.

(WHISPERING) I'm Reggie.

Oh, my God, I was so nervous
I didn't know what to say!

Oh, my God!

You're all sweaty.

We're gonna be late!

We're taking the photo
with or without you.

We're taking the photo
with or without you!

EMILY: Everybody get together.
No, no, no, together.

ALL: One, two, three!
Bellas for life!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay. So, is there a
restaurant in this town

that serves something
other than fish?

I did see a KFC back there.

Nope. All fish. I checked.

Guys, over here. Come this way.

BECA: Oh, Chloe,
I'm coming for ya!

CHLOE: Whoo-hoo. College graduates!
Spreading my wings, y'all!

There are so many
fresh Danishes here.

I swear, if I wasn't
recently locked down,

I would tear a hole
through this city!

This place is so
smelly and rainy.

Why do Americans
ever leave America?

AMY: Culture, design, history.

FLO: I'm not
copen-hating this place.

BECA: I'm starving.

EMILY: Yeah, why don't we go visit
Hayden Christian Andersen's house?

AMY: That guy? But he was pretty
crap in the Star Wars prequels.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Well, here we are.

Do you think the stage is big
enough for what we want to do?

FLO: You're kidding, right?
It's huge.

You guys think it'll work?

It'll work for us.
That's what matters.

Let's go!

FLO: Let's do this thing!

AMY: Whoo!

CHLOE: Everyone knows
where to meet, right?

CYNTHIA: Yeah, we know.

BECA: All right.
Safety first, Flo.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Here it is, folks. The
granddaddy of them all.

The World Championship
of A Cappella!

Tonight, groups from around
the globe Duke it out

for the title of
A-ca World Champion.

And, of course, representing America,
the embattled Barden Bellas.

The Bellas, making one last attempt
to repair a damaged legacy

by becoming the first American
team to claim the title.

Can they do it, John?

Theoretically, yes, Gail.

Realistically, absolutely not.
Those girls are dead to me.

So many countries represented
here tonight, John.

We saw in rehearsal an incredible
group from the Philippines.

What were they called?

"The Ladyboys."

That wasn't the name of
the group, I don't think.

I think that's how they
described themselves.

That's right. They're
"Manila Envy."

Manila Envy.

You know, I spent some time with

some ladyboys, uh, in
the Philippines myself.

Not surprising.

Very interesting young men.

Doing amazing things with
their mouths, I presume.

When we go back to the stage,
I'll do a few for you here.

Uh, you know, we can get
to it, I think. Okay.

You know, maybe when the
Koreans are out there,

because no one cares
about the Korean group.

Love that barbeque.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you...

You know, anything to
support the Bellas.

Wow. I...

Now I'm the one who can't speak.

I'm just so freaking nervous.

Oh, my God. Don't be.

You'll be great.

I mean, we heard you guys
rehearsing, like, 24/7.

So I'll... I should
probably go find my seat.

Yeah.

But before I go, I just...

I have something for you.

Oh...

I'm so sorry. I thought that that
was going in a different direction.

- That's my bad.
- EMILY: No, no, I liked it.

Em, you ready?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right there.

Benji.

Okay. Well, break a leg.

(SINGING POP SONG)

(SINGING IN SPANISH)

(SCATTING)

(SINGING IN ENGLISH)

(SINGING IN HINDI)

(SINGING IN ENGLISH)

ALL: DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!
DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!

(TEAM SINGING IN HINDI)

DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!

DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!

DSM! Ja!

(CROWD CHEERING)

- GAIL: Ooh!
- JOHN: Well done!

There they go, the Indian
group, the Naan-Stops,

running off stage to take
a few more of our jobs.

I thought the little one was spicy!
(JOHN LAUGHS)

ALL: DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!

JOHN: And coming up next,
Das Sound Machine.

GAIL: A crowd favorite, John.

ALL: DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja! DSM! Ja!

KOMMISSAR: Hear that?

They chant. For us.

Now, don't cry too hard
when you lose, huh?

Makes eyes puffy.

Your hands are so soft.

I'm sorry, I don't speak
"loser." What did you say?

She actually speaks
eight languages,

but "loser" is not one of them.

Everything must come to an end.

Even the Bellas.

PIETER: Take care and lose nice.

Huh, your sweat
smells like cinnamon.

Damn it!

(ALL CHEERING) (INDISTINCT
ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA IN DANISH)

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Das Sound Machine!

(DAS SOUND MACHINE VOCALIZING)

(BEATBOXING)

DSM!

(SINGING POP-ROCK SONG)

(RAPPING)

(VOCALIZING)

(SINGING POP SONG)

GAIL: They've got the
crowd going wild!

BECA: Okay, shake it off.

BOTH: DSM! DSM!

Das Sound Machine.

An incredible performance once
again from the German group.

I'm telling you, Gail, though,

if the Bellas of old
show up tonight,

this could be the most
significant conflict

between America and
Germany in history.

Crack a book, John.

Pass one down to your friends.
Here you go. Thank you.

All right, here you go, buddy.

Thanks, man.

Where have you been?

You have no idea, dude.

Final performance, guys.

We need to get out
there and beat DSM.

This one's for us.

Guys, there's gonna be
some haters out there.

They're gonna look
at us, Team USA,

and be like, "Why is the most
talented one Australian?"

Well, guess what. I am fat.
So that is close enough.

We are gonna show
them who we are.

A bunch of ethnically diverse,

for the most part feminine,

amazing singers!

ALL: Yeah!

Let's just go out there
and ac' the world!

CHLOE: Yes!

Yeah! Yes!

John, it's possible
we are watching

the last hurrah of
the Barden Bellas.

It's going to be very
hard to pull this off,

and if they don't,

they are out of business
as an a cappella group.

It is over.

AMY: All right! Let's do this!

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Barden
University's Bellas!

Yes! Whoo!

That's my girl!

Beca!

(BECA CLAPPING)

(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)

(SINGING POP SONG)

(SINGING) When tomorrow comes

I'll be on my own.

Feeling frightened of The
things that I don't know.

When tomorrow comes.

When tomorrow comes.

When tomorrow comes.

When tomorrow comes.

And though the road is
long I look up to the sky.

GAIL: Is it possible
the Barden Bellas

are doing an original song?

(ALL SINGING) Then I sing along.

Then I sing along.

Then I sing along

I got all I need when
I got you and I.

'Cause I look around me
and see your sweet life

I'm stuck in the darkness
You're my flashlight.

You're gettin' me gettin'
me through the night.

You kick start my heart when
you shine it in my eyes

I can't lie.

It's a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

You're gettin' me
through the night.

GAIL: Look at this!

JOHN: It looks like the
Barden Bellas are being

joined on stage by
generations of Bellas,

going all the way back
to the beginning.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

You're my flashlight.

You're gettin' me
through the night

I got all I need when
I got you and I.

'Cause I look around me
and see your sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

You're getting me
through the night.

Kick start my heart when
you shine it in my eyes

I can't lie It's a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but
you're my flashlight.

You're gettin' me
through the night.

We belong.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you are.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you're my flashlight

I'm your flashlight.

You're gettin' me
through the night.

'Cause you're my flashlight.

'Cause you're my.

Gettin' me through the.

Night

(CROWD CHEERING)

Whoo!

JOHN: "Simple," "raw,"
"vulnerable," "exposed."

I've been called a lot of things, Gail.
But let me add one more.

I'm impressed.

I thought you were
gonna say "gay."

BENJI: Emily! Yeah!

Emily!

Emily! Emily!

Whoo! Whoo!

Bellas! Bellas! Bellas!

ALL: (CHANTING) Bellas!
Bellas! Bellas!

Oh. They have touched
every person here.

They've touched me, John.

Well, everyone has
touched you, Gail,

but this is something else.

It's ceremonial,

and you should
definitely not drink it

'cause it is essentially poison.

Terrible for you. Okay.

Okay. Great.

Ooh. It smells like
cherries and vanilla.

CHLOE: Okay, repeat after me.

"I..." Sing your name.

I...

(SINGING) Emily...

Okay.

"Promise to uphold the ideals
of a Bella woman forever."

Promise to uphold the ideals
of a Bella woman forever.

And that's it. That's
the end of the speech.

Nothing weird
happens after that.

These are for you.

Don't go in the
basement, it's haunted.

AMY: Wait!

One last thing.

Yes, every Bella must
christen the house

by sliding down the staircase.

Seriously?

It's tradition. Yeah.

Don't worry. I'll show you.

Behold!

(AMY GROANING)

(PANTING)

Crushed it.

Good form.

Now I'm ready to move on.

Legacy, you're up.

EMILY: All right, I'm ready.

Let's do this!

(PIANO PLAYING)

(SINGING SLOW POP SONG)

Yes!

(CONTINUES SINGING)

You can't!

You can't turn back around. That's
not part of the rules! That's not...

(MOUTHING) That bad?

Thank you so much, Pharrell.

Adam, turn around!

Everybody's doing it, baby!
They love me!

America loves me!

(CONTINUES SINGING)

And I give myself to you!

And you! And you! And you!

And you, America!

Whoo!

- Hey, man.
- BUMPER: Yes. Yes, Blake.

What's your name, brother?

I don't even know right now!

Hey, just do me a favor, man.

Please, under no circumstances,
choose me for your coach.

- I just want to put that out there.
- CHRISTINA AGUILERA: Okay.

So, you have a lot of personality.
And I love that.

Thank you.

You're interesting, and I
can work with interesting.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

All of the coaches
at my disposal,

I'm gonna have to choose

Christina!

Whoo!

Yay!

This is awesome!

Thank you so much.
You're welcome.

Oh, my God.

Whoa! Okay, okay, okay.

Thank you. Okay.

Thank you so much.

Aah! Besties!

Hey, Mom! Hey.

Hey, Amy!

http://subscene.com/u/659433
Improved by: @Ivandrofly