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1
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? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:08,174
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,844
? But where are those
good old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,472
? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,309
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,604
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189
? All the things that make us ?
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,690
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,155
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?
10
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,076
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,914
Oh, good. Kids, you're
just in time for breakfast.
12
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,083
No time, Mom. The girl I stalk
13
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,252
has field hockey practice at 8:00.
14
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:47,088
I love a red-cheeked barbarian.
15
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,297
How about you, Meg?
16
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,175
Can't. I'm weirdly
the girl he's stalking.
17
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,262
God help me, I love the attention.
18
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,972
Well, it's just you and me, Stewie.
19
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,390
What should we do today?
20
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,059
I don't know, maybe forget
everything that just happened?
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,269
All right, there he is.
22
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,895
- Do you have his lunch ready?
- Lunch?
23
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,190
This big boy has his first
whole day of preschool today.
24
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,568
Oh, my God, is it September already?
25
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,279
Wow. So I have the whole day to myself.
26
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,947
Let's see. I...
27
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,616
I guess I've got nothing to do
except create an excuse
28
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:19,036
to touch the Target cashier lady
I want to run away with.
29
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,539
That'll be $6.11.
30
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,709
Oh, perfect. I have a dime and a penny.
31
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,378
They're right here, in my hand,
32
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,963
for you to take.
33
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,268
We could go to Montana.
34
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,063
I want to, but I can't.
35
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:54,239
Esperanza,
it's time to get back to work.
36
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,158
Lady! Wait!
37
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,758
No!
38
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:16,344
Cinnamon-skinned Target lady!
39
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,845
No!
40
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,056
Target. Due to lesbian fantasies,
41
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,017
we no longer accept change.
42
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,979
Well, I have the whole day.
43
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,023
I guess I can watch The Office
for so long
44
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,277
that Netflix has to ask
if I'm still alive.
45
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,049
Hey, Lois, is everything okay?
46
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,885
Uh, our Netflix says your
Netflix is worried about you.
47
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:58,928
Is that the delivery guy?
48
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,554
Ooh, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!
49
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,273
Oh, my God. Oh, Brian, are you okay?!
50
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,442
Oh, crap. I-I can't remember
51
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,237
if doggy arms
are supposed to bend that way.
52
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,073
Okay, Bonnie might know if doggy arms
53
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,741
are supposed to bend that way.
54
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,494
Hang on. She's responding.
55
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,413
I can see the little dots in the bubble.
56
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,706
Oh, no, wait, she stopped.
57
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,124
Oh, now she's typing again.
58
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,001
- Take me...
- Typing. Typing.
59
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,044
Typing.
60
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,254
...to a hospital.
61
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,214
Oh, Bonnie doesn't have a dog.
62
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,930
I spy with my handicapable eye
63
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,683
something for bulk trash day!
64
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,643
Yeah, you know what?
This thing's a piece of junk.
65
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,103
Worked one time.
66
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,647
Peter, you're throwing
this Ping-Pong table out?
67
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,690
Can I have it?
68
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,941
Sure, it's all yours.
69
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,735
Mattress? Mattress?
70
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,445
Anyone throwing away a mattress?
71
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,529
Eh, what size?
72
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,156
I don't know. Van size?
73
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,366
Whatever size that is.
74
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,495
Hello!
75
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,164
Broken arm, huh?
76
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,081
That's no fun.
77
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,208
Hey! Get out of here!
78
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,919
Uh, you didn't give him
the combination to the lock
79
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,629
on your garbage shed, did you?
80
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,298
- No.
- Good.
81
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,509
Any horse, that arm looks broken.
82
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,178
We'll have to get you some painkillers.
83
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,846
I'm just gonna open this drawer
84
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,389
that doesn't have the mechanism
85
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,601
that stops it
from pulling all the way out.
86
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,810
Ah! Darn it.
87
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,520
Hey, I heard a crash in here.
88
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,564
I, uh... I'm gonna need
that shed password
89
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,065
to throw everything away, though.
90
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,525
Four, two...
91
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,818
Isn't that the same raccoon?
92
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,322
No. This one actually works here.
93
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,911
Guys, there's something
going on across the street.
94
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,497
Did that cocky jogger
finally get hit by a car?
95
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,874
Nope. I outran them.
96
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,834
? Cocky jogger. ?
97
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,920
Mile 13!
98
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,254
Dad,
99
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,216
isn't that our Ping-Pong table?
100
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,761
I don't know. Let me imagine it
101
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,846
with lots of paint cans on top of it.
102
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,140
Hey, that's ours!
103
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,269
Wow, Cleveland, looks like you got
104
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,104
the most popular place on the block.
105
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,606
You really fixed this thing up.
106
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:16,607
Can I play winner?
107
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,484
Uh, yeah, there's a line, bub.
108
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,905
The line starts all the way back
in that burning barn.
109
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,659
Hey, no cuts!
110
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,330
Aw, poor Brian.
111
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,375
Have your pain meds kicked in yet?
112
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,001
Ho, yeah.
113
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,545
How does it feel?
114
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,046
Ho, yeah.
115
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,506
Where are you going?
116
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,924
Ho, yeah.
117
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,385
Huh. I want to "ho, yeah."
118
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,015
Maybe just a half of a half, huh?
119
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,022
- What? Wh-
- Where am I?
120
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,941
You're on my head, Lois.
121
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,860
Chris Daughtry?
122
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,361
That's right, Lois.
123
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,697
Would you like
to glide around on my head
124
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,240
like an air hockey puck?
125
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,283
Forever?
126
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,661
Just until I have to do
a smoke-inside concert
127
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,121
at an Indian casino.
128
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,873
Oh, that must be soon.
129
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,375
Every 45 minutes.
130
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,626
Oh!
131
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,715
Ah...
132
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,469
A thousand bucks a show split six ways.
133
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,519
Hey, Peter's underwear.
134
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,730
You've been through a lot, huh?
135
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,317
I'm gonna fold you nice.
136
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,875
Ah.
137
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,007
Hello. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
138
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,718
What Lois just did isn't possible.
139
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,136
Or is it?
140
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,807
Let's spend an hour
of Fox's money to find out.
141
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,359
Well, it's 3:50.
142
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,485
That's basically 4:00.
143
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,611
I mean, in some cultures,
144
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,821
it's polite to do things
ten minutes early.
145
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,115
You know, if it's good with water,
146
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,326
it'd be even better with wine, huh?
147
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,329
Just like Jesus says.
148
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,669
B-B-Brian, Brian,
was that the last pill?
149
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,714
Yes. But that's fine,
'cause my arm's all better.
150
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,508
Oh, so now you're a doctor?
151
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,426
Of letters, from Hofstra, yes.
152
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,470
Yeah, well-well-well-well,
there's nothing I love more
153
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,514
than my dog Brian and
I'm not gonna take the chance
154
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,933
that he doesn't have
enough pills just in case.
155
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,352
Lois, I'm good. I don't want
to get hooked on those things.
156
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:01,898
Who wants to go for a ride in the car?
157
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,946
- Hey! Dr. Griffin!
- Yeah, Hofstra!
158
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,950
Hofstra. Pets need safety schools, too.
159
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,207
Okay. Time to play another round
160
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,460
of expiration date roulette
with this salami.
161
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,631
God, that's annoying.
162
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,886
No problem. I can turn on
that one radio station
163
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,972
that's just religious Spanish shouting.
164
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:38,684
�Jesucristo es el Se�or
165
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,561
del mundo!
166
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:44,189
It's okay. I'm sure that noise
won't make me go insane.
167
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,777
Peter?
168
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,197
How's your new novel coming along?
169
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,095
Don't read that.
170
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,639
It's still very rough.
171
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,351
Okay, if anyone has drugs,
172
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,729
it's high school kids
under the bleachers.
173
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,397
Hey, daddy-os.
174
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,858
Anyone want to blast off to Mars?
175
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,026
Uh, what?
176
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,653
Well, what I'm saying is, I'm Lucy.
177
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,073
Where's the sky with diamonds?
178
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,076
Excuse me, ma'am, are you lost?
179
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,244
No, I want pills! Give me pills!
180
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,121
Aren't you kids doing drugs under here?
181
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,873
No, we're picking up trash
182
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,917
and organizing
a Black Lives Matter rally.
183
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,752
Ugh! How could you be so selfish?!
184
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,003
Hey, daddy-os...
185
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,129
They don't have drugs!
186
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,882
Later, alligators.
187
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,222
Oh, Ping-Pong, huh? That's cute.
188
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,641
Me, I like American games.
189
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,392
Okay, I'll bite.
190
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,186
No, I'm just saying Ping-Pong's not bad,
191
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,896
but I'll tell you what's better...
192
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,022
Foosball.
193
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,816
Isn't it generally agreed that foosball,
194
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,485
much like soccer,
originated in Western Europe?
195
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,695
Isn't it generally agreed
a sphincter says, "What?"
196
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,531
- No, it's not.
- What? Damn it!
197
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:19,284
Hey, y'all! Come and get
your A&W cream soda floats!
198
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,786
Holy crap!
199
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,788
That's a huge frickin' brand!
200
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,249
Long spoon? Long spoon?
201
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,292
Long spoon to keep your knuckles dry?
202
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,629
Okay. Thank you so much, Cleveland,
203
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,674
for taking care of my Ping-Pong table
for the last few days.
204
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,300
I'll be taking it back now.
205
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,346
Now, Peter, just because
Cleveland had the vision
206
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,640
to see the potential in your
Ping-Pong table you didn't,
207
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,226
that doesn't mean you have
the right to take it back.
208
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,812
- Yeah? Says who?
- Says the landmark case
209
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,150
One Man's Trash
v. Another Man's Treasure.
210
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,285
Hard-shell tacos, y'all.
211
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,870
- Oh, yeah.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
212
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,955
What's the brand on those shells?
213
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,248
Old El Paso.
214
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,460
Oh, baby. Huge brand.
215
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,507
Damn it, there's got to be
one more pill in here somewhere.
216
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,050
I mean, maybe there's one that got stuck
217
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,802
in a drawer or something.
218
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,596
Okay. Here, Stewie.
219
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,306
Time to get nice and clean in your bath
220
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,682
while Mommy gets on her knees
221
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,934
and Tara Reids around the bathroom.
222
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,895
Uh, there's no water in here.
223
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:31,523
All right, let's see.
224
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,066
Here it is.
225
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,651
How's the temperature, sweetie?
226
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,153
Of what? The air?
227
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,363
Okay, I just need some water.
228
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,365
Yeah, me, too.
229
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,580
Oh, my God.
230
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,998
That's the last pill.
231
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,835
Oh, damn it, my hand's too big.
232
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,462
It won't fit.
233
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:58,759
Oh, Stewie, you know how you
missed your last swim lesson?
234
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,887
Yeah, we could do a little
makeup class, huh?
235
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,972
Wait, what's happening?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
236
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,726
Well, you know how Teacher Amy
has you dive for rings?
237
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,728
Well, this is like that,
except it's a pill
238
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,563
and it's not okay if you don't get it.
239
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,440
Aah! Damn you!
240
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,360
Come on, come on, you just touched it!
241
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,403
What's all the yelling...?
Oh, my God, Lois,
242
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,489
what are you doing?
243
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,494
First there wasn't enough water,
then there was too much.
244
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:29,164
I just wanted the pill.
245
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,666
Lois, you need help.
246
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,001
I'm sorry, but there's
only one thing to do.
247
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,544
I have one pill left.
248
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,631
It's in my crate and you may have it.
249
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,301
Brian, I don't see it.
250
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,639
What are you doing?
Let me out of here, Brian.
251
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,682
Help!
252
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,350
Somebody help me!
253
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,645
I'd stop, but my VO2 max rate is 70.
254
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,230
I-Is that good?
255
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,482
"Is that good?"
256
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,818
? Cocky jogger. ?
257
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,029
See you at the finish line.
258
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,120
Brian, unlock this cage.
259
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,746
I'm sorry, I can't do that, Lois.
260
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,373
You're an addict,
and I'm the reason those pills
261
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,958
were in the house to begin with.
262
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,543
So I'm gonna get you through this.
263
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,213
The most important thing
is you getting better.
264
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,300
Stewie? Stewie.
265
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:25,846
Help Mommy out
and just open the latch, huh?
266
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,473
Stewie. Stewie?
267
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,934
Stewie? Stewie?
268
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,603
Stewie? Stew?
269
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,939
Stew? Stew?
270
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,525
Stewie? Stewie?
271
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,069
Stewie? Sweetie?
272
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,905
Stewie? Stewie?
273
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,408
Stewie. Stewie.
274
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,951
Stewie?
275
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,287
Stew? Stewart?
276
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,998
Stew? Stewie?
277
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,542
Stewie? Stewie?
278
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,626
Stewie.
279
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,129
Stewie. Stewie.
280
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,631
- Stewie...
- Noise canceling on.
281
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,134
Audible presents Times We've Been Nude
282
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,927
by all three Hemsworths.
283
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,220
G'day, Liam.
284
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,972
I'm about to take me trousers off.
285
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,432
Said Chris Hemsworth.
286
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,100
Liam Hemsworth replied...
287
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,227
Oh, Chris, you startled me.
288
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,772
I was in the process
of taking my trousers off.
289
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,858
I'm the third one,
and I'm trouserless, too.
290
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,860
Said the third one, holding the trousers
291
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,030
that the other two bought for him.
292
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,255
I have some coupons for these.
293
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,132
This coupon is expired.
294
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,926
Well, try another one.
295
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,515
All of these coupons are expired.
296
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,725
Expired. Expired. Expired.
297
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,976
But, but...
298
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,395
Looks like someone
299
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,772
didn't study for groceries.
300
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,608
No, I-I studied.
301
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,151
Also, you're naked
302
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,277
and you're falling and you're falling
303
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,322
and your teeth are coming out, too.
304
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,462
Daddy, will you come to my recital?
305
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,465
Can't you see I'm busy? God, so needy.
306
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:28,385
She'll probably end up with
the first fat slob she meets.
307
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,980
Let's start a life together.
I have 42 VHS tapes.
308
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,358
They're movies taped off the TV,
so they all have commercials.
309
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:52,784
Lois, you stand on trial for drug use
310
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,287
prompted by mom-related boredom.
311
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,707
This council has no hesitation
in pronouncing you...
312
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,501
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
313
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,630
Y-You're on mute, Jor-El.
314
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,968
Jor-El, y-you have to unmute yourself.
315
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,512
Dur, sorry. Can you hear me now?
316
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,890
Yeah, yeah, o-okay, we got you.
317
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,726
Okay. Guilty.
318
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,197
I don't know this reference!
319
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:33,034
Is this from a Spider-Man?
320
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,707
What took you so long?
321
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,293
You dragged all that stuff
out to your lawn
322
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,003
just waiting for this moment?
323
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,131
Nah, I'm getting a jump
on the next big trash day.
324
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,966
So, what, you're mad 'cause people
325
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,093
have been enjoying my Ping-Pong table?
326
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,846
No, I'm mad they've been
enjoying my Ping-Pong table.
327
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,599
- Peter, you're acting like a child.
- No, I'm not.
328
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,768
So let's solve this like children.
329
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,062
A game of Ping-Pong for the table.
330
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,940
Whoever wins keeps it.
331
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,275
You're on.
332
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,404
Oh, wait, if we want
to have a fair match,
333
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,698
we're gonna need a referee.
334
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,200
What took you so long?
335
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,910
It's my third time tonight
336
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,662
so it's taking longer.
337
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,205
Not you, Chris.
338
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,049
? I been in a cave ?
339
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,051
? 40 days ?
340
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,553
? Only a spark ?
341
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,805
? To light my way ?
342
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,391
? I want to give out ?
343
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,309
? I want to give in ?
344
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,562
? This is our crime ?
345
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,439
? This is our sin ?
346
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,400
? But I still believe ?
347
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,318
? I still believe ?
348
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,153
? Through the pain ?
349
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,156
? And through the grief ?
350
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:59,661
? Through the lies, through the storms ?
351
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,163
? Through the cries ?
352
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,331
? And through the wars ?
353
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,668
? Oh, I still believe ?
354
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,926
? I still believe. ?
355
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,200
All right, Peter, game point.
356
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,270
I gave Peter the biggest softball tee
357
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,606
you could possibly give to an opponent,
358
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,107
giving him the advantage.
359
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,526
The truth is, after the first day,
360
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,030
Ping-Pong was the greatest
thing that had ever happened to me.
361
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,241
But by day five,
I was so sick of playing Ping-Pong
362
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,911
and having people at my house,
I was ready
363
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,705
to shove that bitch
into the Fargo wood chipper.
364
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,132
I'm sorry about the table, Cleveland.
365
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,468
And I'm sorry I've been such a jerk.
366
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,636
It's okay.
367
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,638
I can't believe we let a silly table
368
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,766
come between our friendship.
369
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,352
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a draw.
370
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,731
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, well, it was a waste of time.
371
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,652
So, who gets the Ping-Pong table?
372
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,862
I guess it's no one's table now.
373
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,907
That's all I wanted.
374
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,208
My head.
375
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,712
Brian, you stayed by my side
all night long?
376
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,799
I did. It's kind of what dogs do.
377
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,759
Paw.
378
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,097
Good dog, Brian. Very good dog.
379
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,280
Alexa, play music
that sounds like I'm on drugs.
380
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,824
Playing the last 45 quavery seconds
381
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,534
of "Crimson and Clover."
382
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,537
? Crimson and clover ?
383
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,457
? Over and over ?
384
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,418
? Crimson and clover ?
385
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,045
? Over and over ?
386
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:59,048
? Crimson and clover ?
387
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,594
? Over and over. ?
26833
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