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1
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2
[shutter clicks]
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- Um...
3
00:00:04,822 --> 00:00:06,684
could you repeat the question?
4
00:00:06,784 --> 00:00:09,247
I only understood
the word "the."
5
00:00:09,347 --> 00:00:11,049
- Sure.
"In Nixon's America,
6
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"would you say gender equity
7
00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:14,572
is about more
than just equal pay?"
8
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And the word "the" is not
in that question.
9
00:00:19,157 --> 00:00:21,319
- All right, let's just skip
to the next one.
10
00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:24,863
- Kay, my turn.
11
00:00:24,963 --> 00:00:27,426
"As the Soviet Union
and the collectivist East
12
00:00:27,526 --> 00:00:29,588
turn towards radical egalita"--
13
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- Tarianism.
Radical egalitarianism.
14
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:32,951
- "Radical egalitarianism,
15
00:00:33,051 --> 00:00:36,475
what role do Western
democracies have in"--
16
00:00:36,575 --> 00:00:38,717
you know what, I don't think
you're gonna get this question.
17
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:40,679
- I don't see a world
where we don't.
18
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,682
Abolishing gender distinctions
is squarely in the zeitgeist.
19
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:46,846
- We'll be lucky if any
journalists show up to this,
20
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,527
let alone the smart ones.
21
00:00:48,627 --> 00:00:50,489
Bambi's right.
Stick to the basics.
22
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:52,451
- Hey, this question
is mostly in Latin.
23
00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:53,693
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I know Pig Latin.
24
00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:55,214
- Hey, what are your turn-ons?
25
00:00:55,314 --> 00:00:56,375
- Oh, and a follow-up,
turn-offs.
26
00:00:56,475 --> 00:00:57,657
- What's your sign, honey?
27
00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:58,658
- Ooh, I was gonna ask that.
28
00:00:58,758 --> 00:00:59,899
- First question:
29
00:00:59,999 --> 00:01:01,260
I like it
when girls dress sexy.
30
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,462
- Oh, my God.
31
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,543
- I don't like it
when they don't.
32
00:01:03,643 --> 00:01:04,824
- Wrong.
- How could it be wrong?
33
00:01:04,924 --> 00:01:06,786
It's an opinion.
And I'm with you, buddy.
34
00:01:06,886 --> 00:01:08,308
- You guys talk too fast.
35
00:01:08,408 --> 00:01:09,709
Is this what the conference
is gonna be like?
36
00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:10,950
- Yes, definitely.
- Not a chance.
37
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:11,951
- Yes, it will.
38
00:01:12,051 --> 00:01:14,955
[funky music]
39
00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:16,877
♪ ♪
40
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,199
- ♪ Oh! ♪
41
00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:22,602
- That man,
that beautiful jar of nothing,
42
00:01:22,702 --> 00:01:23,764
cannot represent
43
00:01:23,864 --> 00:01:25,405
the premiere issue
of our magazine.
44
00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:26,687
- He's on the cover.
45
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,689
He's representing
the fuck out of it.
46
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,532
No one would be interested
if it's just you up there,
47
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,853
charming as you may be.
48
00:01:32,953 --> 00:01:33,854
- This is our only chance
49
00:01:33,954 --> 00:01:35,335
to make a first impression.
50
00:01:35,435 --> 00:01:37,738
We are introducing
something completely new.
51
00:01:37,838 --> 00:01:39,380
We have to get this right.
52
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,782
- You may be the brains,
but he's the face,
53
00:01:41,882 --> 00:01:44,545
and there's a reason they call
the face "the moneymaker."
54
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:46,227
It's what makes the money.
55
00:01:46,327 --> 00:01:47,268
- Yes, I get it.
56
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:52,313
♪ ♪
57
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,036
He doesn't understand
rudimentary hand signals.
58
00:01:55,136 --> 00:01:56,437
Gorillas catch on faster.
59
00:01:56,537 --> 00:01:57,598
- You got a couple of days.
60
00:01:57,698 --> 00:01:59,080
Train him up as best you can
61
00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:01,582
and, I don't know,
maybe lose the 'tude.
62
00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:04,526
- "Lose the 'tude."
63
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:06,247
- Got a call from City Hall
this morning.
64
00:02:06,347 --> 00:02:08,049
Enjoy your little badge gag
on the councilwoman?
65
00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:09,731
Troop 69?
66
00:02:09,831 --> 00:02:11,933
- Yeah, Art Department
knocked it out of the park.
67
00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:14,416
- Well, now we're being audited
by the county tax assessor.
68
00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:16,258
Couldn't leave it alone,
could you?
69
00:02:16,358 --> 00:02:18,900
- You know, Westbury should
really give me a badge.
70
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,582
Teaching our bright young minds
71
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,865
that there's more than one way
to eat a cookie.
72
00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:25,267
- Doug.
- Hey, did you hear
73
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:26,909
Scotty gave notice
down the block?
74
00:02:27,009 --> 00:02:29,431
I bet we could swoop in,
make an offer,
75
00:02:29,531 --> 00:02:32,154
and nab that building
before they even hire a broker.
76
00:02:32,254 --> 00:02:34,196
- We don't have the cash.
- We will.
77
00:02:34,296 --> 00:02:35,437
- We are bleeding money.
78
00:02:35,537 --> 00:02:37,159
- You gotta spend money
to make money.
79
00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:39,041
- You gotta have money
to spend money.
80
00:02:39,141 --> 00:02:40,803
- Says who?
81
00:02:40,903 --> 00:02:42,845
Don't worry about the audit.
Our books are good.
82
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,947
Gerry will handle it.
83
00:02:45,828 --> 00:02:48,270
Hey, lose the sweater.
Throw this over your shoulder.
84
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:54,777
- "An exciting new chapter
in the annals of erotica."
85
00:02:54,877 --> 00:02:56,539
- Annal is Tompkins'
favorite kind of erotica.
86
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,940
[laughter]
87
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,624
- "Who says feminism
can't be sexy?"
88
00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:03,186
This is gold.
89
00:03:03,286 --> 00:03:05,108
We gotta send someone
to cover this press conference.
90
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,830
- Is "female gaze"
just another way
91
00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:07,911
of saying carpet munchers?
92
00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:09,152
[laughter]
93
00:03:09,252 --> 00:03:11,114
- See?
This stuff writes itself.
94
00:03:11,214 --> 00:03:12,596
Anyone up
for a fish-in-a-barrel gig?
95
00:03:12,696 --> 00:03:14,878
600 words.
96
00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:16,119
- I'll take this one.
97
00:03:16,219 --> 00:03:18,121
- Glenn.
98
00:03:18,221 --> 00:03:20,644
all: Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn,
99
00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:23,947
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.
100
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:27,571
- Okay. Let's review.
101
00:03:27,671 --> 00:03:29,673
Feminism is?
102
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,056
- Good.
- And?
103
00:03:32,156 --> 00:03:33,497
- Started with witches.
104
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:35,059
- No. that one's on me.
105
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:37,261
I should not have opened
with the Salem witch trials.
106
00:03:37,361 --> 00:03:40,584
Okay, let's get back on course
in the struggle for...
107
00:03:40,684 --> 00:03:43,267
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
108
00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:44,588
- Was one of the names
109
00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:46,230
that I mentioned
in the introduction.
110
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:48,993
- My mom almost named me Cody.
- Oh.
111
00:03:49,093 --> 00:03:50,955
- But she didn't
'cause our last name.
112
00:03:51,055 --> 00:03:52,917
She said that people
wouldn't take me seriously
113
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,359
if my name was Cody Brody.
114
00:03:54,459 --> 00:03:56,401
- Well, she sounds
like a smart woman.
115
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:57,842
Would you call her a feminist?
116
00:03:57,942 --> 00:03:59,123
- Not to her face.
117
00:03:59,223 --> 00:04:00,805
- Come on.
It's not a bad word.
118
00:04:00,905 --> 00:04:02,807
Feminism is about equality.
119
00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:04,969
It's about giving people power
and a voice,
120
00:04:05,069 --> 00:04:06,851
even if they are
some pretty little thing
121
00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:09,374
that hasn't been taught
to use theirs yet.
122
00:04:09,474 --> 00:04:12,898
- Okay.
Sorry. Geez.
123
00:04:12,998 --> 00:04:15,480
Now I understand why
women have so much suffrage.
124
00:04:17,362 --> 00:04:19,825
- All right.
125
00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:21,546
How about we have a drink?
- Sure.
126
00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:23,268
- Okay.
- Got any beer?
127
00:04:23,368 --> 00:04:26,712
- No, I do not.
I have a lovely Pouilly-Fuissé.
128
00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:28,814
Trust me.
129
00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:37,123
- Hmm.
130
00:04:37,223 --> 00:04:39,365
[soft music playing]
131
00:04:39,465 --> 00:04:40,726
- Shouldn't you be bowling?
132
00:04:40,826 --> 00:04:42,328
- I should.
133
00:04:42,428 --> 00:04:44,850
I'm taking a look at Gerry's...
134
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:47,093
I'm not sure what to call this.
Work?
135
00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:49,575
- Now, go easy on Gerry.
He's a real accountant.
136
00:04:49,675 --> 00:04:51,537
I poached him from Capitol.
137
00:04:51,637 --> 00:04:52,859
He's the one that figured out
138
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,181
how to write off
Phil Spector's guns.
139
00:04:55,281 --> 00:04:57,904
- This is a mess, and I don't
even have an accounting degree.
140
00:04:58,004 --> 00:04:59,706
- Well, I don't even have
a high school diploma,
141
00:04:59,806 --> 00:05:01,988
yet here we are.
142
00:05:02,088 --> 00:05:05,432
To punching above our weight.
143
00:05:05,532 --> 00:05:08,635
Cheers.
144
00:05:08,735 --> 00:05:10,997
- You do run
a successful business.
145
00:05:11,097 --> 00:05:13,680
- Thank you.
- Sloppily.
146
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,482
Half your employees
have criminal records.
147
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,204
The other half
are lucky they don't.
148
00:05:17,304 --> 00:05:18,565
You're spending money
you don't have
149
00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:19,846
on things you don't need.
150
00:05:19,946 --> 00:05:21,168
- Subjective.
151
00:05:21,268 --> 00:05:22,890
Come on. Hold on now.
152
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:27,574
Look at what--
look at what Frank sent over.
153
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:29,536
- The Tower That Titty Built.
154
00:05:29,636 --> 00:05:32,740
- Don't forget our new friend,
good old cock and balls.
155
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,301
You're telling me
you wouldn't want to show up
156
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,303
to work here every day?
157
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:40,107
Come on, Tins, our plan.
This plan.
158
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:44,552
Big circulation,
big advertisers, big money.
159
00:05:44,652 --> 00:05:46,274
The same plan
that we came up with
160
00:05:46,374 --> 00:05:48,556
in the back of that '64 Impala,
161
00:05:48,656 --> 00:05:50,518
talking out of our asses,
162
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:54,442
is as alive now
as it has ever been.
163
00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:57,105
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
164
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,068
- You're on top of it?
165
00:06:00,748 --> 00:06:02,891
- Like a duck on a June bug.
166
00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:06,394
- Then you must know 50 grand
is missing from these books.
167
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,822
- No, I didn't.
- Hmm.
168
00:06:13,922 --> 00:06:15,784
You didn't know that.
169
00:06:15,884 --> 00:06:18,186
- Well, now I do.
170
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,629
- So the patri-archie
forces men
171
00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:22,511
into roles
they don't want to play either.
172
00:06:22,611 --> 00:06:24,673
- By George,
I think he's got it.
173
00:06:24,773 --> 00:06:26,715
- It's Shane.
[both laugh]
174
00:06:26,815 --> 00:06:28,037
- Yeah.
175
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,718
- But you're a good teacher.
176
00:06:29,818 --> 00:06:31,440
- Thank you.
177
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,642
- Most of the girls--
178
00:06:33,742 --> 00:06:36,485
women I meet aren't interested
179
00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:38,207
in what I have to talk about.
180
00:06:38,307 --> 00:06:42,351
- Well, I can tell that
you're a very sensitive man.
181
00:06:43,913 --> 00:06:46,496
- You know, firemen are
supposed to be tough,
182
00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:48,898
and, like, I'm not afraid
of fire or anything.
183
00:06:48,998 --> 00:06:50,460
- Probably should be.
184
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,982
- But sometimes,
the other guys,
185
00:06:53,082 --> 00:06:57,026
they can just be so...mean.
186
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,309
- Aww.
187
00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:01,951
- Like, one time,
I rescued this cat
188
00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:04,314
from a burning building.
189
00:07:04,414 --> 00:07:06,796
I rushed outside,
but it wasn't breathing.
190
00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:10,761
So I gave it mouth-to-mouth,
which totally works on animals.
191
00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:14,404
- I would never have thought
to do that.
192
00:07:14,504 --> 00:07:16,126
- But that night
in the showers,
193
00:07:16,226 --> 00:07:20,050
the other guys, they just kept
meowing and meowing.
194
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,452
- Oh.
195
00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:23,694
- I ran and hid
in engine number nine.
196
00:07:23,794 --> 00:07:26,737
- Those men, they're not tough.
They're just scared.
197
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:29,180
Scared of being vulnerable.
198
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,022
Now, I can tell you that
if women were firefighters,
199
00:07:32,122 --> 00:07:34,065
then no one would ridicule you
200
00:07:34,165 --> 00:07:36,627
for saving
a helpless little kitty cat.
201
00:07:36,727 --> 00:07:38,389
- Too bad
women can't be firemen.
202
00:07:38,489 --> 00:07:39,710
- Says who?
203
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:44,315
- Well, it's right there
in the name.
204
00:07:44,415 --> 00:07:47,038
Fireman.
- Okay.
205
00:07:47,138 --> 00:07:50,041
- Oh, but also, you have to be
able to carry 190 pounds.
206
00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:52,864
- Oh, really?
Is that a lot?
207
00:07:57,549 --> 00:07:58,930
- You're looking at a buck-90.
208
00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:01,693
- Huh? Yeah.
209
00:08:01,793 --> 00:08:04,416
Wow. Okay.
May I?
210
00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:06,518
- Mm-hmm.
[both laugh]
211
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,621
- Oh, my God. No.
[both laugh]
212
00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:10,862
Hold on.
213
00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:12,304
I'm sure if I just, you know--
214
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,946
I had the proper training
and everything,
215
00:08:14,046 --> 00:08:16,048
then, you know...
216
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,212
- Am I allowed to say
you're pretty?
217
00:08:21,573 --> 00:08:24,296
- Well, I wouldn't accuse you
of objectifying me if you did.
218
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,324
Hmm.
219
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,446
Let me just--
220
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:34,447
[King Floyd's "Groove Me"]
221
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,168
- ♪ Uh, aww ♪
222
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,651
♪ Sookie, sookie now ♪
- Oh, my God.
223
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,613
- ♪ Hey, ow, uh ♪
224
00:08:40,713 --> 00:08:43,176
- [laughs]
225
00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:45,138
- Now, in a real fire,
I'd be carrying you
226
00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:48,581
out of the building
and not into the bedroom.
227
00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:52,265
- Lucky for us, the only thing
on fire is our libidos.
228
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,907
No, no, no.
It's okay.
229
00:08:54,007 --> 00:08:56,910
It's just a fancy way
of saying you're--
230
00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,934
that I--I am--I am
very excited about this.
231
00:09:04,537 --> 00:09:08,862
And this is not something
I ever normally...
232
00:09:10,303 --> 00:09:11,765
Wow. Do.
233
00:09:11,865 --> 00:09:13,126
Oh, my God.
234
00:09:13,226 --> 00:09:14,688
- ♪ Happily, nah-nah ♪
235
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,971
♪ In a great big
ol' roomy house ♪
236
00:09:18,071 --> 00:09:19,773
♪ And I know you're gonna ♪
237
00:09:19,873 --> 00:09:21,815
♪ Groove me, baby ♪
238
00:09:21,915 --> 00:09:25,819
- But, you know, I guess...
why not?
239
00:09:25,919 --> 00:09:27,822
- ♪ Make me feel
good inside ♪
240
00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:32,266
♪ Come on,
and groove me, baby ♪
241
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:35,469
♪ I need you to groove me ♪
242
00:09:35,569 --> 00:09:38,272
♪ Oh, yeah,
now, now, darling ♪
243
00:09:38,372 --> 00:09:41,716
♪ Uh, come one, come on ♪
244
00:09:41,816 --> 00:09:43,197
♪ Hey! Uh! ♪
245
00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:45,520
♪ Hey there, sugar darlin' ♪
246
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:47,242
♪ Come on, give me something ♪
247
00:09:47,342 --> 00:09:48,643
♪ Girl, I've been needing
for days ♪
248
00:09:48,743 --> 00:09:50,745
- I just want
to make you feel good.
249
00:09:51,706 --> 00:09:53,208
- You do?
250
00:09:53,308 --> 00:09:54,769
- ♪ Yes, I'm good,
good loving ♪
251
00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:56,211
♪ With plenty,
plenty hugging ♪
252
00:09:56,311 --> 00:09:57,852
- Okay.
253
00:09:57,952 --> 00:10:00,255
- ♪ You make me feel
good inside ♪
254
00:10:00,355 --> 00:10:04,900
♪ Come on
and groove me, baby ♪
255
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,743
♪ Move me, baby ♪
256
00:10:07,843 --> 00:10:10,425
♪ Oh, sock it to me, mama ♪
257
00:10:10,525 --> 00:10:11,787
♪ Uh! ♪
258
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:15,611
[birds chirping]
259
00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:28,964
[phone rings]
260
00:10:29,064 --> 00:10:30,206
- Hello?
261
00:10:30,306 --> 00:10:31,407
- Hey, honey.
- Hello.
262
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:32,568
- Just calling to remind you
263
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:33,970
about the editor's photo
today.
264
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:35,371
You have the clothes
picked out?
265
00:10:35,471 --> 00:10:36,572
- I surely do.
266
00:10:36,672 --> 00:10:38,975
- Ooh, someone's chirpy
this a.m.
267
00:10:39,075 --> 00:10:41,778
- Someone had a very fun night.
268
00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:45,021
- Oh, my--did someone have--
- Yes! Yes.
269
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:48,705
And not even in the confines
of a committed partnership.
270
00:10:48,805 --> 00:10:50,507
I had a one-night stand.
271
00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:51,988
- No!
- Yes.
272
00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:53,229
- Well, check that
off your list.
273
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:54,751
- How do you know
about my list?
274
00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:56,313
- Girls like you
always have a list.
275
00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:59,716
- Oh.
Well, it was transcendent.
276
00:10:59,816 --> 00:11:01,558
I don't know what came over me.
277
00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:04,521
And then--and then,
like he read my mind,
278
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:07,244
he was just gone.
279
00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:09,346
- Guess who brought croy-sants?
280
00:11:13,951 --> 00:11:15,953
It's French for pastry.
281
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,636
- I have to go.
282
00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:21,859
[funky music]
283
00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:24,582
[bell clanging]
- [laughs]
284
00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,263
- The bell tolls for thee.
285
00:11:26,363 --> 00:11:27,825
- You told everyone?
286
00:11:27,925 --> 00:11:29,947
- Does this look like
a place of discretion?
287
00:11:30,047 --> 00:11:32,189
- Oh, come on.
Don't cheapen it.
288
00:11:32,289 --> 00:11:33,711
'Cause I already did!
289
00:11:33,811 --> 00:11:35,633
[laughter]
290
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:36,954
- So who's the lucky guy?
291
00:11:37,054 --> 00:11:38,236
- A lady never--
- Uh-uh, spill.
292
00:11:38,336 --> 00:11:39,637
- Yeah, we want details.
293
00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:42,080
- Wait, it was Shane.
294
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,561
- No.
- Yes.
295
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,802
You had training last night.
296
00:11:44,902 --> 00:11:45,924
- It just happened.
297
00:11:46,024 --> 00:11:47,165
You know, a few verres de vin.
298
00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:49,007
- I so called it.
- Mm, look at you.
299
00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:50,969
Using your powerful position
in publishing
300
00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:52,010
to score some tail.
301
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,132
- Ooh, baby.
302
00:11:54,232 --> 00:11:55,493
Someone's playing with fire.
303
00:11:55,593 --> 00:11:57,335
- You all told me to do it!
304
00:11:57,435 --> 00:11:59,618
- Before we hired him, Joyce.
305
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,059
So unprofessional.
306
00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:02,781
- Don't listen to him.
You deserve it.
307
00:12:02,881 --> 00:12:05,264
- Mm, three of my five
current stalkers
308
00:12:05,364 --> 00:12:06,705
were former employers.
309
00:12:06,805 --> 00:12:08,307
- No, it's not like that.
310
00:12:08,407 --> 00:12:10,189
- You were the one worried
about the press conference,
311
00:12:10,289 --> 00:12:11,710
and now you've gone
and given this boy
312
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,192
something else to think about.
313
00:12:13,292 --> 00:12:15,354
- That narrative may fit
your tawdry affairs,
314
00:12:15,454 --> 00:12:16,555
but I can assure you
315
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:19,638
that my eye
is squarely on the ball.
316
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,400
- Which one?
This one or this one?
317
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,502
[laughter]
318
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,969
- I'm gonna have to go back
and do some forensics here.
319
00:12:30,069 --> 00:12:31,410
I mean, the receipts I get
320
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:33,252
are on scraps of paper,
matchbooks,
321
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:34,854
toilet tissue sometimes.
322
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:38,338
It's a frigging miracle
I get us in the ballpark.
323
00:12:38,438 --> 00:12:40,620
- You can take my word,
those numbers don't add up.
324
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,262
- And it's a very big ballpark.
325
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,364
- Is that my handwriting?
326
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:48,408
You know what?
These are my wife's glasses.
327
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,173
- That'll be all, Gerry.
328
00:12:55,055 --> 00:12:58,078
[energetic rock music]
329
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,559
I mean, he's not a crook.
330
00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:01,161
- Just a terrible accountant.
331
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:03,083
- Agreed.
332
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,685
Why don't we round up
the troops?
333
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,567
Somebody's gotta
know something.
334
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,689
- You might as well come clean
because we already know.
335
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,651
- About the copy machine
we fenced?
336
00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:14,295
- Sure, I pawned the cameras,
but I bought better ones
337
00:13:14,395 --> 00:13:16,497
and I also made rent,
so win-win.
338
00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:18,579
- [crying]
339
00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,583
♪ ♪
340
00:13:22,683 --> 00:13:25,266
- ♪ Girl, there's a big,
big world out there ♪
341
00:13:25,366 --> 00:13:28,109
- Between the fall of 1970
and the spring of 1971,
342
00:13:28,209 --> 00:13:30,391
yeah, technically,
I did live here.
343
00:13:30,491 --> 00:13:31,913
But that's just 'cause
I was hiding
344
00:13:32,013 --> 00:13:34,015
from the Lambs of God.
345
00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:40,882
- Oh, those are mine.
346
00:13:40,982 --> 00:13:42,684
New Pinto.
347
00:13:42,784 --> 00:13:45,006
Bought with money
from a dead aunt
348
00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:48,410
who died of natural causes.
349
00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:50,512
[whistles casually]
350
00:13:52,674 --> 00:13:55,156
- Did she kill her aunt?
- Yes.
351
00:13:55,717 --> 00:13:57,379
This is what happens
when you hire people
352
00:13:57,479 --> 00:13:58,740
2:00 a.m. drunk on a Wednesday
353
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,342
because they beat you at darts.
354
00:14:00,442 --> 00:14:02,704
- Kenny was the best
copy editor we've ever had.
355
00:14:02,804 --> 00:14:04,907
I'll defend that hire
till the day I die.
356
00:14:05,007 --> 00:14:06,829
- Real businesses
don't operate this way.
357
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,110
- All right.
So what do you want me to do?
358
00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:10,212
Fire everyone?
Just clean house?
359
00:14:11,974 --> 00:14:14,396
- No, but we gotta
start somewhere.
360
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:16,498
- Fine.
361
00:14:17,099 --> 00:14:19,101
I'll fire Gerry.
362
00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:25,107
- I'm glad we're doing this.
- Thank you.
363
00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:28,891
Me too.
364
00:14:28,991 --> 00:14:32,975
Tomorrow is the big day,
and I just wanted to make sure
365
00:14:33,075 --> 00:14:36,379
that we're both understanding
what this is.
366
00:14:36,479 --> 00:14:39,342
- Looks like fried squid to me.
- Yes. Yeah.
367
00:14:39,442 --> 00:14:41,224
That is the food
that we ordered.
368
00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:43,326
But on a deeper level...
369
00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:47,911
there are power dynamics
in our relationship.
370
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:50,013
- I love when you say
smart things.
371
00:14:50,774 --> 00:14:54,838
- And those dynamics make
issues of consent complicated.
372
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:55,879
- Wait, am I in trouble?
373
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,401
- No, no, no, not at all.
374
00:14:57,501 --> 00:14:59,503
It's just...
375
00:14:59,903 --> 00:15:00,964
last night was fun.
376
00:15:01,064 --> 00:15:02,125
- Very fun.
377
00:15:02,225 --> 00:15:04,428
- But it was just fun.
378
00:15:05,028 --> 00:15:06,250
- Yes.
379
00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:07,491
I understand
what you're saying.
380
00:15:07,591 --> 00:15:08,973
It was just fun.
381
00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:10,975
- Right. Yes.
Oh, God, good.
382
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:12,416
Okay.
'Cause we're working together.
383
00:15:12,516 --> 00:15:13,938
No one says
you can't have some fun
384
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,059
while you're working together,
385
00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:17,461
but we both know what this is.
386
00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:19,103
- I am so glad
you said something,
387
00:15:19,203 --> 00:15:21,225
because it was on my mind too.
388
00:15:21,325 --> 00:15:23,327
- Oh.
389
00:15:27,131 --> 00:15:30,515
[both moaning]
390
00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:33,518
- I don't even use these
to go to the bathroom.
391
00:15:33,618 --> 00:15:34,839
- Where do you go?
392
00:15:34,939 --> 00:15:36,361
- What?
No, I use bathrooms.
393
00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:37,522
I just don't go in public.
394
00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:39,624
Oh, my God, just keep--
395
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,967
[funky music]
396
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:48,934
♪ ♪
397
00:15:49,034 --> 00:15:51,036
- I should have debuted
the classier logo.
398
00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:54,219
- Hello, Norman.
399
00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:56,021
- 20 Bottom Dollar titles
in a decade,
400
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,543
and this is the one
that gets a fancy launch.
401
00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:00,185
[chuckles]
Look at you.
402
00:16:00,285 --> 00:16:02,347
William Randolph Hearst reborn.
403
00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:03,909
- You know this one's
full of dongs
404
00:16:04,009 --> 00:16:05,511
and lady opinions, right?
405
00:16:05,611 --> 00:16:07,192
- "The Valley Porn Courier"
covers all things
406
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,074
Bottom Dollar,
not just what I find appealing.
407
00:16:09,174 --> 00:16:10,996
That's a promise I made
to my readers.
408
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,879
- Norman.
- Your number one fan.
409
00:16:13,979 --> 00:16:15,000
- Hey.
410
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,522
Let me show you
to your VIP seat.
411
00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:19,005
- Of course.
- We knew he would show up.
412
00:16:19,105 --> 00:16:22,668
What about everyone else?
- Yeah, it's--it's a turnout.
413
00:16:23,869 --> 00:16:25,611
- Voilà.
- I like it.
414
00:16:25,711 --> 00:16:27,093
- You do?
- I do.
415
00:16:27,193 --> 00:16:29,195
- We are packed
to the gills out there.
416
00:16:29,916 --> 00:16:31,377
Ah, you screwed him again.
417
00:16:31,477 --> 00:16:33,419
- Boorish and inappropriate.
418
00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:36,022
And accurate.
[both laugh]
419
00:16:36,122 --> 00:16:38,264
It's fine. It's fine.
It's under control.
420
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:40,266
- Good.
421
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,389
- You okay?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
422
00:16:42,489 --> 00:16:46,193
It's just,
there's actually people here.
423
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:49,236
- Yeah, because our magazine
is a jolt of something new.
424
00:16:49,336 --> 00:16:51,478
It's a whisper and a scream.
425
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:54,781
- I guess it is.
Just don't blow it, okay?
426
00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:58,245
- Okay.
- Just ignore him.
427
00:16:58,345 --> 00:17:00,247
I support your sexploits.
428
00:17:00,347 --> 00:17:01,969
You should've been doing this
a lot sooner.
429
00:17:02,069 --> 00:17:03,370
- I know.
- Mm-hmm.
430
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,893
- God.
What was he so hung up about?
431
00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:07,615
Just think,
all of that free love
432
00:17:07,715 --> 00:17:09,096
out there for the taking,
and somehow,
433
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,698
I thought I would have
to pay for it.
434
00:17:10,798 --> 00:17:11,899
- Sorry I'm late.
435
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,901
Pop's van broke down.
436
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:15,783
- Oh, we're doing that.
- You brought your dad?
437
00:17:15,883 --> 00:17:18,586
- Both my parents.
They're super proud of me.
438
00:17:18,686 --> 00:17:20,027
I'm the first person
in my family
439
00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:21,829
to attend a press conference.
440
00:17:21,929 --> 00:17:23,791
- Hey, it's time.
441
00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:25,313
- Don't be nervous.
We did the work.
442
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:27,675
You're gonna do great.
- I'm not nervous.
443
00:17:27,775 --> 00:17:30,318
For the first time, maybe ever,
I know exactly what I want.
444
00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:31,559
- Well, great.
Use that.
445
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,801
- It's you.
- What?
446
00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:36,564
- You're like
the sexiest teacher ever,
447
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:40,048
except not married,
and also, I'm of age now.
448
00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:42,771
- No. Okay. No, hold on.
We were just having fun.
449
00:17:42,871 --> 00:17:44,773
- Yeah.
That's how it started.
450
00:17:44,873 --> 00:17:46,815
With a spark.
451
00:17:46,915 --> 00:17:48,457
But what's love
without a spark?
452
00:17:48,557 --> 00:17:51,740
[applause]
453
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,981
[flashes popping]
454
00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:55,504
- [breathing heavily]
455
00:17:55,604 --> 00:17:58,407
[high-pitched ringing]
456
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:06,615
[mic feedback whines]
457
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:13,803
- [distantly]
"Minx" is a--
458
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:18,427
oh, "Minx" will establish
the female gaze...
459
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:23,132
[feedback whines]
460
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,495
We are at
the exciting intersection
461
00:18:25,595 --> 00:18:29,038
of feminism and erotica.
462
00:18:32,762 --> 00:18:34,764
[normally]
Any questions?
463
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:41,872
Okay.
464
00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:44,694
I would like to introduce
Shane Brody.
465
00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:48,238
Shane was selected
out of countless applicants
466
00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:50,440
because he was the minxiest.
467
00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:52,522
He is a modern man.
468
00:18:52,622 --> 00:18:54,645
He's a supporter
of our mission,
469
00:18:54,745 --> 00:18:56,126
and he's also--
470
00:18:56,226 --> 00:18:58,368
- A certified piece
of Grade-A man-meat.
471
00:18:58,468 --> 00:18:59,650
- Ank-you-thay.
472
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,032
[laughter]
473
00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:06,337
- Yeah, for Shane, tell us
what you really had to do
474
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,338
to get the job.
475
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,059
- I guess impress the boss.
476
00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:11,502
- [laughs nervously]
477
00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:13,504
- Has your mother
seen your debut?
478
00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:15,346
- Ask her yourself.
She's right there.
479
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,668
Love you, Mom.
- I love you too.
480
00:19:17,768 --> 00:19:19,430
- That's my boy.
481
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:21,312
- Okay.
Let's just pivot back to the--
482
00:19:21,412 --> 00:19:23,314
- What are your turn-ons?
- Turn-offs?
483
00:19:23,414 --> 00:19:25,757
- What's your sign, honey?
484
00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:27,759
- Tell us about
your ideal woman.
485
00:19:27,859 --> 00:19:29,080
- Yeah.
Are you single?
486
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:31,182
Is there a Mrs. Man-Meat?
487
00:19:35,346 --> 00:19:39,050
- Yeah, I do have a new lady.
- Oh, no.
488
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:41,893
- She's smart, classy, strong.
489
00:19:41,993 --> 00:19:43,655
She could probably lift
anyone in here.
490
00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:44,816
- It's happening.
491
00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:49,141
- She's patient, proper,
a teacher,
492
00:19:49,241 --> 00:19:51,063
and she doesn't
have to dress sexy
493
00:19:51,163 --> 00:19:53,165
'cause she already is.
494
00:19:53,845 --> 00:19:56,548
- Oh, my God.
Shane's in love with Joyce.
495
00:19:56,648 --> 00:19:58,550
- Oh, and she knows
how to have just fun,
496
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:01,634
which is, like,
a more pure kind of fun
497
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,736
'cause you're falling in love.
498
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,238
Oh, and when we did it
in the bathroom
499
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,920
at the Tony Pony, I realized--
500
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:09,602
- That no one has asked us
a single question
501
00:20:09,702 --> 00:20:11,163
about this
very carefully-researched
502
00:20:11,263 --> 00:20:12,485
and thoughtful magazine.
503
00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:14,667
So does anyone have a question?
504
00:20:16,909 --> 00:20:19,111
- [coughs]
505
00:20:20,673 --> 00:20:22,775
- Yeah.
506
00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:25,278
Glenn Hollingsworth,
"Lad Magazine."
507
00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:30,103
- Glenn, you have a question.
508
00:20:30,203 --> 00:20:32,205
- I do.
509
00:20:33,526 --> 00:20:35,388
What do you say to all
the female readers out there
510
00:20:35,488 --> 00:20:36,790
who might be curious
about "Minx"
511
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:39,172
but are also intimidated
by its content?
512
00:20:41,254 --> 00:20:44,257
- Thank you, Glenn.
That's a great question.
513
00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:48,682
Uh, well--
514
00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:49,763
Thank you so much.
515
00:20:49,863 --> 00:20:52,366
- Thanks, Joyce.
- Yeah.
516
00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:55,949
I owe you something big.
517
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,452
- These can be brutal.
- Yeah.
518
00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:00,214
- A little softball never hurt.
519
00:21:00,314 --> 00:21:01,936
The magazine looks great.
520
00:21:02,036 --> 00:21:04,258
It really does.
Congratulations.
521
00:21:04,358 --> 00:21:06,821
- Thank you.
It means a lot.
522
00:21:06,921 --> 00:21:08,663
- Maybe we can
do lunch sometime.
523
00:21:08,763 --> 00:21:09,904
- Sure. Why not?
524
00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:11,305
But not at the club.
525
00:21:11,405 --> 00:21:12,987
- Yeah, no,
you're banned for life.
526
00:21:13,087 --> 00:21:14,428
They put your picture up front.
527
00:21:14,528 --> 00:21:16,030
- They did?
Like--who's that guy?
528
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,712
That guy that streaked
the tennis tournament?
529
00:21:17,812 --> 00:21:19,313
- Stu.
- Stu. Stu, yeah.
530
00:21:19,413 --> 00:21:20,755
- Hey.
- Oh, God.
531
00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,156
- You trying to steal my girl?
532
00:21:22,256 --> 00:21:23,918
[laughs]
Woman.
533
00:21:24,018 --> 00:21:26,161
Liberated woman
who cannot be stolen
534
00:21:26,261 --> 00:21:27,322
and is not property.
535
00:21:27,422 --> 00:21:29,424
- That's right.
536
00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:33,708
- Well, I'll call you.
537
00:21:34,509 --> 00:21:36,511
Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
538
00:21:37,072 --> 00:21:38,373
- We're going
to Marie Callender's.
539
00:21:38,473 --> 00:21:40,015
- We?
540
00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:41,456
- Hi.
541
00:21:41,556 --> 00:21:42,858
- They want to meet you.
542
00:21:42,958 --> 00:21:45,741
Get to know you like I do,
but not have sex.
543
00:21:45,841 --> 00:21:46,942
- Okay.
No, stop.
544
00:21:47,042 --> 00:21:49,264
All right, I think we need to--
545
00:21:49,364 --> 00:21:51,306
there's been
a misunderstanding here, okay?
546
00:21:51,406 --> 00:21:54,750
'Cause this isn't real.
We're not a couple.
547
00:21:54,850 --> 00:21:56,592
It's not appropriate for me
548
00:21:56,692 --> 00:21:59,034
to meet your very
enthusiastic parents, okay?
549
00:21:59,134 --> 00:22:02,338
It was just sex.
It was just casual sex.
550
00:22:02,938 --> 00:22:05,441
That's what "just fun" means.
551
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:08,304
- So you used me.
552
00:22:09,345 --> 00:22:11,087
- I thought we were using
each other,
553
00:22:11,187 --> 00:22:12,488
in a good way, for pleasure.
554
00:22:12,588 --> 00:22:14,931
- Don't tell me
what I was doing.
555
00:22:15,031 --> 00:22:18,574
You say everyone deserves
their own voice, right?
556
00:22:18,674 --> 00:22:20,376
Or am I just some
pretty little thing to you?
557
00:22:20,476 --> 00:22:22,338
- Okay. All right. Okay.
I see what you're doing.
558
00:22:22,438 --> 00:22:25,702
But that--no, that's not this,
because you're just someone
559
00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:29,025
who technically works for me
560
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:31,608
who I then had sex with.
561
00:22:32,689 --> 00:22:34,391
- I trusted you.
- Shane.
562
00:22:34,491 --> 00:22:37,114
- I gave you my penis,
and I want it back.
563
00:22:37,214 --> 00:22:38,595
- Hmm?
564
00:22:38,695 --> 00:22:40,697
- I don't want to be
in your magazine anymore.
565
00:22:49,426 --> 00:22:52,329
- [clapping
[chuckles]
566
00:22:52,429 --> 00:22:53,811
Madam editor.
567
00:22:53,911 --> 00:22:57,454
It was a little shaky at first,
and then boom.
568
00:22:57,554 --> 00:22:59,537
- Save it.
Shane's pulled out.
569
00:22:59,637 --> 00:23:01,258
I broke
his simple little heart.
570
00:23:01,358 --> 00:23:03,300
- Well, I'm sorry,
but he signed the contract,
571
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,863
which means we own the photos,
so we're publishing them,
572
00:23:05,963 --> 00:23:07,705
and there's nothing
that he can do about it.
573
00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:09,307
Though what did I say?
574
00:23:09,407 --> 00:23:11,309
- Oh, God, you love
a Pyrrhic victory.
575
00:23:11,409 --> 00:23:13,511
- I don't know what that means,
so it doesn't hurt my feelings.
576
00:23:13,611 --> 00:23:16,474
- Doug, we cannot publish
naked photos of Shane
577
00:23:16,574 --> 00:23:17,915
without his permission.
578
00:23:18,015 --> 00:23:19,837
I mean, yeah, fine,
we're legally allowed to,
579
00:23:19,937 --> 00:23:22,200
but what kind of message
does that send?
580
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,082
- It would send the message
that we're good at business.
581
00:23:24,182 --> 00:23:25,443
Look, this is hardly
the first time
582
00:23:25,543 --> 00:23:27,005
a model has gotten cold feet.
583
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,406
- Yeah, but we have
to be better than that.
584
00:23:28,506 --> 00:23:29,928
We have to.
In fact, I insist
585
00:23:30,028 --> 00:23:31,850
on holding us
to a higher standard.
586
00:23:31,950 --> 00:23:33,932
- Listen to you.
"A higher standard."
587
00:23:34,032 --> 00:23:36,695
Because you couldn't keep
your vag in your pants.
588
00:23:36,795 --> 00:23:38,377
- Do you always have to be
so crass?
589
00:23:38,477 --> 00:23:40,459
- All right, Joyce, I'm gonna
give it to you straight.
590
00:23:40,559 --> 00:23:42,501
The magazine is printed.
591
00:23:42,601 --> 00:23:44,463
And I spent more on this rag
592
00:23:44,563 --> 00:23:47,146
than anything
that I have ever done.
593
00:23:47,246 --> 00:23:51,150
I upped our print run
to 500,000
594
00:23:51,250 --> 00:23:55,214
at the last minute
against the advice of everyone.
595
00:23:57,616 --> 00:24:00,059
If I were to pull this issue,
596
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,342
we'd be done.
597
00:24:04,183 --> 00:24:06,846
And I would be in a hole
598
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,549
so goddamn deep
599
00:24:10,469 --> 00:24:13,593
that it would take me years
to climb out of.
600
00:24:15,274 --> 00:24:17,276
So...
601
00:24:18,037 --> 00:24:21,401
get okay with this or fix it.
602
00:24:27,487 --> 00:24:29,489
[door slams]
603
00:24:30,130 --> 00:24:33,073
[upbeat music]
604
00:24:33,173 --> 00:24:39,720
♪ ♪
605
00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:41,321
- Résumés
for Gerry's replacement.
606
00:24:41,421 --> 00:24:43,524
- I thought we only
fired people on Fridays.
607
00:24:43,624 --> 00:24:45,626
- You've never fired anyone.
608
00:24:47,828 --> 00:24:49,169
- All right.
609
00:24:49,269 --> 00:24:56,277
♪ ♪
610
00:25:02,643 --> 00:25:04,065
This is insane.
611
00:25:04,165 --> 00:25:06,167
Can I talk to you?
612
00:25:12,213 --> 00:25:14,215
I took the money.
613
00:25:15,777 --> 00:25:17,198
But you already knew that.
614
00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:19,400
- A bunch of transfers
between off-cycle titles
615
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:22,163
at the same time as a surprise
invoice from the printer?
616
00:25:22,263 --> 00:25:24,326
That shit may fool Gerry--
- I knew you wouldn't approve.
617
00:25:24,426 --> 00:25:26,207
- Your pet project
is bleeding us dry,
618
00:25:26,307 --> 00:25:28,370
and now you're stealing from
yourself to hide it from me?
619
00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,332
- Okay, maybe I just didn't
want you looking at me
620
00:25:30,432 --> 00:25:33,055
the way you are
looking at me right now.
621
00:25:33,155 --> 00:25:35,137
I changed the plan, Tina.
622
00:25:35,237 --> 00:25:37,459
I am sorry.
- That's a start.
623
00:25:37,559 --> 00:25:40,222
- We both know what you mean
to this place.
624
00:25:40,322 --> 00:25:42,624
You are the other half
of Bottom Dollar.
625
00:25:42,724 --> 00:25:45,748
I just--I need you
to trust me on this one.
626
00:25:45,848 --> 00:25:47,509
Push down those business smarts
627
00:25:47,609 --> 00:25:51,654
that I fucking love about you
and trust me.
628
00:25:53,816 --> 00:25:55,117
- You know how hard it is
629
00:25:55,217 --> 00:25:58,000
to see a burning building
and not yell fire?
630
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:00,262
- Well, maybe it's not on fire.
631
00:26:00,903 --> 00:26:03,265
Maybe it's just hot
and uncomfortable.
632
00:26:09,672 --> 00:26:11,674
- Is this where you come
to think?
633
00:26:14,877 --> 00:26:17,921
- No, this is my job.
634
00:26:20,043 --> 00:26:22,065
What are you doing here?
635
00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:23,266
- I wanted to talk to you.
636
00:26:23,366 --> 00:26:24,828
- Better make it fast,
637
00:26:24,928 --> 00:26:26,930
'cause if there's a fire,
I'm gonna have to go.
638
00:26:29,773 --> 00:26:32,796
- I think "Minx" is
639
00:26:32,896 --> 00:26:35,198
a tremendous opportunity
for you.
640
00:26:35,298 --> 00:26:37,561
And I know
that we haven't talked much
641
00:26:37,661 --> 00:26:39,663
about your hopes and dreams,
642
00:26:40,264 --> 00:26:42,586
but modeling can open
a lot of doors.
643
00:26:45,869 --> 00:26:48,012
More modeling.
644
00:26:48,112 --> 00:26:50,114
Acting.
645
00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,496
You could be a star.
646
00:26:52,596 --> 00:26:54,618
- I don't want to be a star.
647
00:26:54,718 --> 00:26:57,862
I wanted 400 bucks and to show
my dick to the world.
648
00:26:57,962 --> 00:26:59,704
- All right, well, I was hoping
it wouldn't come to this,
649
00:26:59,804 --> 00:27:01,065
but you signed a contract,
650
00:27:01,165 --> 00:27:02,627
and Bottom Dollar owns
your photos,
651
00:27:02,727 --> 00:27:05,510
so there's nothing either one
of us can do about it.
652
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:06,951
- Wow.
653
00:27:07,051 --> 00:27:09,434
So after all that
feminist stuff,
654
00:27:09,534 --> 00:27:11,636
it just comes down
to a piece of paper?
655
00:27:11,736 --> 00:27:13,738
- Yes, Shane.
656
00:27:14,098 --> 00:27:16,100
This is business.
657
00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:20,885
And I am here on business
and business only.
658
00:27:20,985 --> 00:27:22,987
Um...
659
00:27:23,908 --> 00:27:27,132
God, you're the fourth guy
that I have ever slept with.
660
00:27:27,232 --> 00:27:28,734
And the only one
who wasn't my boyfriend
661
00:27:28,834 --> 00:27:31,136
and by far the best,
662
00:27:31,236 --> 00:27:33,939
but that has more to do
with my relationship
663
00:27:34,039 --> 00:27:35,060
to my own body, I think,
664
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,162
but still, it was--
665
00:27:43,969 --> 00:27:45,230
You were more into me
666
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,453
than I was into you,
and I knew that.
667
00:27:48,694 --> 00:27:50,696
I should have been
more careful.
668
00:27:51,977 --> 00:27:53,399
I just wanted
to feel good again,
669
00:27:53,499 --> 00:27:56,122
so I pushed away all reason,
670
00:27:56,222 --> 00:27:59,265
and that was really selfish.
671
00:28:00,706 --> 00:28:01,968
So irresponsible.
672
00:28:02,068 --> 00:28:03,689
- You could have said hi
to my parents.
673
00:28:03,789 --> 00:28:05,792
- Yes, I should have.
674
00:28:11,277 --> 00:28:12,939
If you don't want to be
in "Minx,"
675
00:28:13,039 --> 00:28:15,341
then I will figure out
676
00:28:15,441 --> 00:28:18,565
a way of killing the issue,
no matter the consequences.
677
00:28:20,807 --> 00:28:22,809
You deserve to have a voice.
678
00:28:35,983 --> 00:28:38,565
- ♪ I don't care
what they say ♪
679
00:28:38,665 --> 00:28:40,487
- Nice work.
680
00:28:40,587 --> 00:28:42,589
And you got some
in the process.
681
00:28:45,472 --> 00:28:47,735
Let me know if you need help.
682
00:28:47,835 --> 00:28:49,457
- Thank you, Tina.
683
00:28:49,557 --> 00:28:51,379
- ♪ Can't you see
I live for your touch? ♪
684
00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:54,181
♪ Because I believe in you ♪
685
00:28:54,281 --> 00:28:56,984
♪ What else can I say? ♪
686
00:28:57,084 --> 00:29:00,628
♪ I believe in you, girl ♪
687
00:29:00,728 --> 00:29:04,272
♪ If I'm trying to be,
go on your way ♪
688
00:29:04,372 --> 00:29:06,474
- 22 inches.
- Brown trout?
689
00:29:06,574 --> 00:29:07,795
- Rainbow.
- Shut up.
690
00:29:07,895 --> 00:29:09,277
[laughter]
691
00:29:09,377 --> 00:29:12,801
- Well, if it isn't Mr. August.
692
00:29:12,901 --> 00:29:15,724
- More like Mrs. August.
[laughter]
693
00:29:15,824 --> 00:29:17,165
- His dick's so fancy,
694
00:29:17,265 --> 00:29:18,687
it probably can't even get
wet anymore.
695
00:29:18,787 --> 00:29:20,809
[laughter]
696
00:29:20,909 --> 00:29:22,450
- You guys can all laugh,
697
00:29:22,550 --> 00:29:24,553
but I'm the one
that feels bad for you.
698
00:29:26,675 --> 00:29:28,337
You're victims,
699
00:29:28,437 --> 00:29:31,680
victims of something
called the patri-archie.
700
00:29:33,882 --> 00:29:36,225
[scoffs]
Someday, you'll understand.
701
00:29:36,325 --> 00:29:38,027
- ♪ You and I ♪
702
00:29:38,127 --> 00:29:41,430
♪ Travel to the beat
of a different drum ♪
703
00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:45,674
♪ Ah, can't you tell
by the way I run ♪
704
00:29:45,774 --> 00:29:49,679
♪ Every time
you make eyes at me ♪
705
00:29:49,779 --> 00:29:51,761
♪ Whoa ♪
706
00:29:51,861 --> 00:29:54,163
♪ You cry and moan ♪
707
00:29:54,263 --> 00:29:57,406
♪ And say it will work out ♪
708
00:29:57,506 --> 00:30:01,290
♪ But honey child,
I've got my doubts ♪
709
00:30:01,390 --> 00:30:06,936
♪ You can't see the forest
for the trees ♪
710
00:30:07,036 --> 00:30:09,098
♪ So don't get me wrong ♪
711
00:30:09,198 --> 00:30:11,141
♪ It's not that I knock it ♪
712
00:30:11,241 --> 00:30:13,183
♪ It's just that I ♪
713
00:30:13,283 --> 00:30:14,904
♪ I'm not in the market ♪
714
00:30:15,004 --> 00:30:18,628
♪ For a boy who wants
to love ♪
715
00:30:18,728 --> 00:30:22,192
♪ Only me ♪
716
00:30:22,292 --> 00:30:25,075
♪ Yes, and I ain't saying ♪
717
00:30:25,175 --> 00:30:26,877
♪ You ain't pretty ♪
718
00:30:26,977 --> 00:30:30,721
♪ All I'm saying's
I'm not ready ♪
719
00:30:30,821 --> 00:30:34,765
♪ For any person,
place, or thing ♪
720
00:30:34,865 --> 00:30:38,008
♪ To try and pull the reins ♪
721
00:30:38,108 --> 00:30:40,651
♪ In on me ♪
722
00:30:40,751 --> 00:30:44,575
♪ So goodbye ♪
723
00:30:44,675 --> 00:30:46,537
♪ I'll be leaving ♪
724
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,659
♪ I see no sense ♪
725
00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:50,301
♪ In this crying
and grieving ♪
726
00:30:50,401 --> 00:30:52,703
♪ We'll both live
a lot longer ♪
727
00:30:52,803 --> 00:30:56,988
♪ If you live without me ♪
728
00:30:57,088 --> 00:31:04,135
♪ ♪
729
00:31:05,857 --> 00:31:08,199
♪ Oh, don't get me wrong ♪
730
00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:09,961
♪ It's not that I knock it ♪
731
00:31:10,061 --> 00:31:12,383
♪ It's just that I ♪
48840
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