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1
00:00:13,223 --> 00:00:14,425
Popcorn.
2
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,018
'Cause it's
Crappy Movie Night, y'all.
3
00:00:16,042 --> 00:00:17,300
Oh.
4
00:00:17,376 --> 00:00:18,687
Shrub and I have been doing this
5
00:00:18,710 --> 00:00:20,114
every Friday night
since we were in high school.
6
00:00:20,138 --> 00:00:22,283
We get a ton of snacks,
and we watch a stupid movie.
7
00:00:22,306 --> 00:00:24,285
Yeah, like, last week,
we watched this really old one
8
00:00:24,309 --> 00:00:25,711
called Citizen Kane.
9
00:00:25,736 --> 00:00:26,736
Guess what.
10
00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:28,381
No Kane and no Batman.
11
00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:30,550
And no color. How dumb is that?
12
00:00:30,574 --> 00:00:32,218
But we've got a really
good one for tonight.
13
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,723
Yeah, it's called The Notebook.
14
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,060
A movie about a pad of paper.
15
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,781
Probably some stupid
Pixar thing.
16
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,398
- Like, how lame is that?
- It's gonna be hilarious.
17
00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:46,588
This movie's so stupid.
18
00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:49,256
Shut up, would you?
19
00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:55,597
Um, so, big news.
20
00:00:55,747 --> 00:00:58,136
Beth has a date
with someone on Friday.
21
00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,654
- Guess who.
- Death.
22
00:00:59,677 --> 00:01:03,271
Me. Um, I broke
into my sandwich-press fund,
23
00:01:03,347 --> 00:01:04,808
and it turns out,
I have enough money
24
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,753
to take her to Flatch's
hottest date place.
25
00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:08,087
You're taking her to China Wok?
26
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,313
- Yep.
- She doesn't deserve
27
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,257
a feast like that!
28
00:01:11,281 --> 00:01:13,167
Okay. Someone's jealous.
29
00:01:13,191 --> 00:01:14,501
No, I'm not, okay?
30
00:01:14,525 --> 00:01:16,078
I just can't believe
you're abandoning me
31
00:01:16,102 --> 00:01:17,097
on Crappy Movie Night
to hang out
32
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,286
with the human yawn.
33
00:01:18,438 --> 00:01:19,599
It's like saying
you can't go to Disneyland
34
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:21,082
'cause you'd rather go
hang out in a shed.
35
00:01:21,106 --> 00:01:23,959
- "Oh, it could be fun."
- It's a date, dude.
36
00:01:24,109 --> 00:01:25,126
What is this?
37
00:01:25,277 --> 00:01:27,870
A new store.
38
00:01:27,947 --> 00:01:30,039
A vaping and magic shop?
39
00:01:30,115 --> 00:01:32,277
Yeah, that's not
completely weird.
40
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,838
Lame.
41
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,022
Hey, bros.
42
00:01:36,046 --> 00:01:37,139
Can you believe it?
43
00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:38,600
Three of my favorite things
in one place...
44
00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:41,884
The magical arts
and my two magical friends!
45
00:01:43,388 --> 00:01:45,396
Can you believe
how cool this is?
46
00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:48,466
It's so totally awesome!
47
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,313
So, Dylan used to be a magician
48
00:01:50,337 --> 00:01:52,039
when we were friends
in grade school.
49
00:01:52,063 --> 00:01:53,466
He performed
at my grandma's nursing home
50
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:55,063
when she was still alive.
51
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,527
His tricks were all so small,
and their eyes were so bad,
52
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,212
so no one could see
what he was doing.
53
00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:00,364
Ta-da!
54
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,572
- But he was super cute.
- Whoop, whoop!
55
00:02:02,649 --> 00:02:04,368
So they would just
come and stare at him
56
00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:05,513
to forget they were old.
57
00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:06,668
I love magic.
58
00:02:06,819 --> 00:02:08,814
I even won the talent show
in high school.
59
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:12,485
But then everyone started
calling me "Abraca-Dork."
60
00:02:12,509 --> 00:02:14,820
Then Nadine suggested
that I stop doing magic,
61
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,343
and so I did.
62
00:02:16,496 --> 00:02:18,754
'Cause she's the boss.
63
00:02:18,907 --> 00:02:19,829
Oh, got to run.
64
00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:22,004
Can't be late
to Grandma's bridge club.
65
00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:25,853
Ladies and gentlemen,
66
00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:28,575
Smokus Pocus
is proud to present...
67
00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:31,693
Murray Hillman!
68
00:02:31,843 --> 00:02:33,155
Guess what. That's me.
69
00:02:33,179 --> 00:02:35,081
Hey, hold your applause
till now.
70
00:02:35,105 --> 00:02:36,341
Thank you.
71
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,866
Look at this, kids,
the crystal tube.
72
00:02:38,944 --> 00:02:41,203
- Behold, $5.99...
- Crystal tube, classic.
73
00:02:41,353 --> 00:02:42,573
Totally classic.
74
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,796
All right, and you stick
your fingers in here.
75
00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:47,078
Not two fingers, kids.
You got to be careful.
76
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:48,429
Why don't you do magic anymore?
77
00:02:48,453 --> 00:02:50,211
You used to be so good at it.
78
00:02:50,362 --> 00:02:52,028
Nadine thinks it's dumb.
79
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,106
She's probably right.
80
00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:54,602
Not if you love it, she's not.
81
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,718
Yeah, I do kind of miss it.
82
00:02:56,795 --> 00:02:58,074
Then you should do it again.
83
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,348
I could be your assistant.
84
00:02:59,372 --> 00:03:00,942
We could do it
at the retirement home
85
00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:02,183
like you used to do.
86
00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:04,110
No, no. Nadine would kill me.
87
00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:06,112
Whoo! Hey, hey, there we go.
88
00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:07,931
Although she is out of town
this week.
89
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,542
Oh, yeah.
90
00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:11,284
My sorority sisters and I
put together
91
00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:13,550
this Babes and Babies
glamping trip.
92
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,794
It's pretty cute.
93
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,032
It's really fun... we just
get out here in nature,
94
00:03:17,056 --> 00:03:19,556
let our hair down,
bring our babies.
95
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,367
It's so fun.
96
00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:24,056
I still got a hotel room,
though,
97
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,950
'cause, you know, bugs.
98
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,415
Whoa!
99
00:03:28,568 --> 00:03:29,971
Look at that, huh?
100
00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:31,622
I bet all the old people
you used to entertain back then
101
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:32,789
really miss you.
102
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,574
Well, I bet they're probably
all dead by now.
103
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,164
- Dark.
- Okay, well, then
104
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,961
there's a whole bunch
of new old people
105
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,146
who are forgotten and lonely.
106
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:42,817
Think about how happy
you'd make them.
107
00:03:42,841 --> 00:03:43,985
You know what?
108
00:03:44,009 --> 00:03:45,415
You're right.
109
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,987
Let's do it!
110
00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:49,086
I think it's
a wonderful idea, you two.
111
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,582
A very selfless act.
112
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:51,514
I'm proud of you both.
113
00:03:51,591 --> 00:03:52,682
Father Joseph,
114
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:55,183
do you know that there
is a shop in our town
115
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:58,353
that specializes in black magic?
116
00:03:58,507 --> 00:03:59,925
Smokus Pocus?
117
00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:01,598
Ah, no, they're fine.
118
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,579
I mean, I don't really approve
of their smoking devices,
119
00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:06,490
but the magic tricks they sell
are a lot of fun.
120
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,082
Father Joe,
as a man of the cloth,
121
00:04:08,106 --> 00:04:09,826
I demand that you drive
that shop
122
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:15,038
and the Satan worshipper
who runs it out of town!
123
00:04:15,114 --> 00:04:16,798
June's mad.
124
00:04:19,043 --> 00:04:20,446
Check it.
125
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:22,137
Superhero tie.
126
00:04:22,254 --> 00:04:23,932
Saw one of these
bad boys online,
127
00:04:23,956 --> 00:04:26,214
but it cost too much money,
so...
128
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:28,528
I took matters
into my own hands.
129
00:04:28,552 --> 00:04:31,699
Repurposed some old bedsheets
from when I was a kid.
130
00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:34,223
Beth is gonna see me wearing
this in my suit?
131
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,870
Oh, she's about to fall harder
132
00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:38,463
than Nick does for Allie
in Notebook.
133
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:39,947
Why is there a ballerina on it?
134
00:04:39,971 --> 00:04:42,064
It... it's not a ballerina.
135
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:43,473
That... it's Mystery Man.
136
00:04:43,552 --> 00:04:45,218
You know we couldn't afford
Batman!
137
00:04:46,663 --> 00:04:50,718
All it takes is a little magic.
138
00:04:50,742 --> 00:04:52,144
Oh, my God!
139
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:53,870
It's been really fun
reconnecting with Kelly.
140
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,487
She and I used to have fun all
the time when we were kids.
141
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:59,749
I don't feel like I have
that much fun anymore.
142
00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:01,062
Not that Nadine isn't fun.
143
00:05:01,086 --> 00:05:02,879
It's just, uh...
It's a different kind of fun.
144
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,922
What's my definition of fun?
Oh, cleaning out the attic.
145
00:05:05,997 --> 00:05:08,016
I don't even bring a vacuum up.
146
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,387
I just do it all with my hands.
147
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:10,927
Whoo-whoo!
148
00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:12,353
Are you jealous?
149
00:05:12,504 --> 00:05:13,891
Dylan!
150
00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:16,060
You're so much better
than you were in high school!
151
00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:19,413
Man, I...
I really miss doing this stuff.
152
00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:21,177
Thanks for talking me
into it, Kelly.
153
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:22,490
So what does your assistant do?
154
00:05:22,514 --> 00:05:24,009
You just bring each trick out,
155
00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,069
and then you take
each one back when I finish.
156
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,685
With a little style?
157
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,588
Yeah.
158
00:05:28,612 --> 00:05:30,682
Yeah, that's it! That's perfect.
159
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,206
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
160
00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:33,685
Then you bring it to me.
161
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,911
- Thank you.
- Sir.
162
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,192
And we're there.
163
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:41,194
Ooh, this is gonna be so good!
164
00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,959
I miss hanging out
with you, Kelly.
165
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,391
My God.
166
00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:45,870
Me more.
167
00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:47,441
Dylan, pick up your phone.
168
00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,038
Dylan, pick up your phone.
169
00:05:49,117 --> 00:05:50,557
Nadine, hey.
170
00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:52,209
I'm working on something
in the garage.
171
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:53,603
How's the glamping going, babe?
172
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,694
I heard Dylan is doing
a magic show
173
00:05:58,718 --> 00:05:59,937
at the home this Friday.
174
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:02,521
I want to entertain
those old people, too.
175
00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:05,550
Um, hello, Mandy.
Uh, that's great.
176
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,552
What, uh, what do you do?
177
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,153
I'm an insult comedian.
178
00:06:10,305 --> 00:06:12,115
- Insult comedian?
- Yeah, like,
179
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,731
"Your face
looks like a cow's ass."
180
00:06:17,903 --> 00:06:18,995
It's clever.
181
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,346
But, uh, it might not be right
182
00:06:20,406 --> 00:06:21,906
for the retirement crowd.
183
00:06:21,983 --> 00:06:23,961
Yeah, I figured you'd say that.
184
00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:24,978
I can sing, too.
185
00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:27,411
Really? What kind of songs?
186
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,408
All kinds.
187
00:06:28,432 --> 00:06:30,264
Can you sing a nice,
uplifting hymn?
188
00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:33,079
Yeah, I can definitely do that.
189
00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:34,247
Excellent.
190
00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:35,677
Let's do that instead.
191
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,064
Okay.
192
00:06:37,088 --> 00:06:39,941
Repent! Repent!
193
00:06:41,278 --> 00:06:43,444
- Repent!
- Oh, crazy old broad.
194
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,521
Hey, what can I get you?
195
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,502
Bubblegum vape juice,
half off today only.
196
00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:50,451
I actually need some flash
paper for my dove pan.
197
00:06:50,603 --> 00:06:51,988
What do you need
the flash paper for?
198
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,156
You doing a kids' party or what?
199
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,197
Retirement home.
200
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:55,865
Uh, the dove pan
is my big finish.
201
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,103
No, kid, come on.
202
00:06:57,127 --> 00:06:58,161
They're gonna laugh you
right out of there
203
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,512
if you end with the pan.
204
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,514
Listen, you want to send them
back to their rooms
205
00:07:01,538 --> 00:07:04,874
with a showbiz bang.
206
00:07:04,951 --> 00:07:06,134
The Zig Zag Lady!
207
00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:08,338
The best finale in the business!
208
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:09,211
You got an assistant?
209
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,615
That's me. I'm the assistant.
210
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,973
Oh, excellent.
Hop on in here, toots.
211
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:14,862
I can see a world
where Dylan and I get famous
212
00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,019
for doing our act.
213
00:07:18,206 --> 00:07:19,533
He needs that.
214
00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:22,391
Can you imagine being married
to Nadine?
215
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,038
She'd inspire me to live
in the crawl space
216
00:07:24,062 --> 00:07:25,464
under their house.
217
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,358
And there are, like,
a lot of possums under there.
218
00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:28,526
- Oh!
- Oh, oh, my God.
219
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:29,877
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Whoo-hoo!
220
00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:31,194
- Pow, pow!
- Can I get... can I see?
221
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,196
I thought it was a mirror.
222
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,310
Poor Dylan.
223
00:07:34,389 --> 00:07:36,706
I think, like,
I make him better.
224
00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:39,649
Showbiz, bitches!
225
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,555
Hey, I like this girl.
She's a pip!
226
00:07:42,579 --> 00:07:45,822
This would be amazing to end
the show with, but, uh...
227
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,987
- it's got to cost a fortune.
- Oh, kid, come on.
228
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:49,091
Don't worry about it.
229
00:07:49,161 --> 00:07:50,512
I like to inspire new talent,
230
00:07:50,588 --> 00:07:53,422
and, clearly, I need all
the advertising help I can get.
231
00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:54,884
Look, I'll make a deal
with you, all right?
232
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,427
You kids tell all your friends
about Smokus Pocus,
233
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,430
and I'll loan you this
for the night, huh?
234
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,502
- Deal.
- Deal, all right!
235
00:08:02,526 --> 00:08:03,560
- Deal.
- Okay.
236
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,838
- Deal!
- All right, great, great.
237
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:07,413
The key to dressing up
238
00:08:07,437 --> 00:08:11,067
is to always leave something
a little messy.
239
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,845
It's what the Italians call
sprezzatura,
240
00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:15,088
which I read all about
in a magazine
241
00:08:15,112 --> 00:08:17,257
I found on the street.
242
00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:19,076
Okay, so you know
how you see my tie knot
243
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,077
is just a little off?
244
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,913
Sprezzatura.
245
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,452
Oh, also,
246
00:08:24,529 --> 00:08:26,600
picked up this bad boy
at Smokus Pocus today.
247
00:08:26,624 --> 00:08:28,509
Basically,
you put a dollar in it,
248
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,793
you close it, you pull it
back out, it's gone.
249
00:08:30,870 --> 00:08:34,054
Close it again, pull it back
out, the dollar is there.
250
00:08:34,206 --> 00:08:36,298
Beth is gonna fall hard,
251
00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,893
because Murray told me
that girls go crazy
252
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:40,302
for little magic tricks.
253
00:08:40,379 --> 00:08:42,397
Hey, I got to pay
my rent, don't I?
254
00:08:42,548 --> 00:08:44,639
Nobody vapes
in this fakakta town.
255
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,383
So where are we going?
256
00:08:46,461 --> 00:08:48,956
I hope you like
international cuisine.
257
00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,125
- Oh, I do!
- Mm.
258
00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:52,717
Do we have to cross
an ocean to get there?
259
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:55,278
Nope, it's right here in Flatch.
260
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,263
- I thought you hated Flatch.
- I do.
261
00:08:57,322 --> 00:08:58,653
But I'm man enough to admit
262
00:08:58,807 --> 00:09:01,726
that you have the best
and only Chinese food
263
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,470
in the area, so...
264
00:09:03,494 --> 00:09:05,398
feel free to show me off
to whoever you want
265
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:08,404
as payback for our town
stealing your sign.
266
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:10,258
I can take it.
267
00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:12,609
Look, Murray, I just want
everyone to get along, okay?
268
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,389
So can you just go out there
and tell her
269
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:15,724
that you're not
a devil worshipper?
270
00:09:15,748 --> 00:09:17,558
- How do you know I'm not?
- Are you?
271
00:09:17,582 --> 00:09:18,982
Oh, you got something
on your shirt.
272
00:09:19,085 --> 00:09:20,268
Showbiz!
273
00:09:20,345 --> 00:09:23,104
Of course I'm not, padre.
Come on!
274
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:24,975
Let me go talk
to the old tomato, all right?
275
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,278
All right.
276
00:09:27,836 --> 00:09:28,995
June?
277
00:09:29,019 --> 00:09:30,427
Murray wants you to know
278
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,499
that he has only the best
intentions for Flatch.
279
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:34,190
No, he doesn't.
280
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,767
We don't need his black magic
in our town.
281
00:09:36,845 --> 00:09:38,965
Maybe not,
but you look like you could use
282
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,028
a red rose.
283
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:41,121
- Wow!
- Oh, my.
284
00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:43,250
June, that was amazing,
wasn't it?
285
00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:45,201
Oh, no, I'm not
falling for that.
286
00:09:45,277 --> 00:09:47,331
Get thee behind me, Satan!
287
00:09:47,355 --> 00:09:49,015
Well, I'd try,
but there's something
288
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:50,334
already there.
289
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,001
Oh-ho!
290
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,519
Oh, now, you stop that!
291
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,505
Only if you stop
being so beautiful.
292
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:56,638
Oh.
293
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:58,047
Jackpot!
294
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,360
Wow!
295
00:09:59,384 --> 00:10:01,028
Hey! Do me, do me, do me!
296
00:10:01,052 --> 00:10:02,292
Father, I'm not gonna do you.
297
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,438
See, June? Murray's a good guy.
298
00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:05,294
I'm good.
299
00:10:05,373 --> 00:10:07,889
Well, that was rather charming.
300
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,466
Now, my dear,
301
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:13,895
are you familiar
with the concept of vaping?
302
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,043
What kind of food is this?
303
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,732
It's Chinese.
304
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:19,363
So good.
305
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,198
Everything on this menu
sounds weird.
306
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,072
Oh, uh, do you like magic?
307
00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:25,385
Hey, bros!
308
00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:28,038
- This is crazy!
- Oh, God.
309
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,649
Fancy meeting you two here.
310
00:10:29,673 --> 00:10:31,172
Yeah, it's a real surprise.
311
00:10:31,322 --> 00:10:33,543
I hope you both
have a great dinner.
312
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,136
Hey, do you mind if we join you?
313
00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:36,251
No, come on in.
314
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,754
Capital!
315
00:10:38,831 --> 00:10:39,922
And I was worried
316
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,219
I'd have to talk
to this character all night.
317
00:10:42,243 --> 00:10:43,759
Snore!
318
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:47,772
Ah, got ya!
319
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:52,913
The next number
is the one that we all
320
00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:54,673
love to hear our doctor say.
321
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,697
That's right.
322
00:10:56,849 --> 00:10:57,677
Bingo!
323
00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,326
You going out in a bathrobe?
324
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:00,591
No, I just don't want to give
325
00:11:00,686 --> 00:11:03,349
away my look to the audience
before I go on.
326
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:05,591
- It's a showbiz thing.
- All right, everyone.
327
00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:08,208
We have a special treat
tonight for our break.
328
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,097
Mandy Matthews is gonna
uplift us with a hymn.
329
00:11:11,121 --> 00:11:13,788
Mandy?
330
00:11:13,942 --> 00:11:15,365
Thanks, everybody.
331
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,125
This hymn is very special to me
332
00:11:17,202 --> 00:11:18,755
because it's an original
that I wrote
333
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,389
earlier this afternoon.
334
00:12:00,578 --> 00:12:03,075
So the professor says,
"It was Kierkegaard,"
335
00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:05,916
to which I reply,
"Well, at least he didn't let
336
00:12:05,994 --> 00:12:08,326
his Kierkegaard down."
337
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:12,475
Um, I-I dropped
a cherry bomb down the toilet
338
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,327
in seventh grade,
and it made water
339
00:12:14,351 --> 00:12:16,163
shoot out of the sink
in the girls' bathroom.
340
00:12:16,187 --> 00:12:18,816
Someone could've gotten
really hurt.
341
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,188
Uh...
342
00:12:20,341 --> 00:12:22,283
Shrub, your tie's crooked.
343
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,078
Yeah, it's sprezzatura, Mickey.
344
00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:25,620
Everybody ready to order?
345
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:30,124
Yes, um, I will be ordering
for the lady and me.
346
00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:33,869
Um, we are gonna have
the Kung Pao shrimp,
347
00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:35,302
sweet and sour pork,
348
00:12:35,373 --> 00:12:38,943
an order of spring rolls,
and some fried rice, please.
349
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,802
I don't eat any of that.
350
00:12:42,453 --> 00:12:44,508
Oh, um...
351
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:47,177
did you maybe see something
you did want or...?
352
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,695
- No.
- Maybe we can make you
353
00:12:48,719 --> 00:12:49,625
something special.
354
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,365
Can I have some steamed chicken?
355
00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:53,889
No sauce...
356
00:12:53,966 --> 00:12:55,519
or rice...
357
00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:57,370
or vegetables...
358
00:12:57,394 --> 00:12:58,798
or salt...
359
00:12:58,822 --> 00:13:00,654
or anything.
360
00:13:02,732 --> 00:13:04,803
Beth's food issues are so cute.
361
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,363
Um, like,
362
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,404
I don't think I'd ever, ever
get tired of this.
363
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:11,717
So what's the deal
with all the riddles, anyway?
364
00:13:11,741 --> 00:13:13,241
Mm, mm.
365
00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:15,480
Even though I love destinations,
366
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:19,248
my favorite part
is the journey to get there.
367
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,677
And so the more fun
and winding I can make the trip
368
00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:25,731
to things that I've truly
been looking forward to,
369
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:29,140
the more appreciative I am
once I've arrived.
370
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,687
Like tonight.
371
00:13:38,344 --> 00:13:40,769
- Oh, my God.
- Wow!
372
00:13:42,514 --> 00:13:43,750
Oh, uh, Beth.
373
00:13:43,774 --> 00:13:45,177
Uh, do you want to see a trick?
374
00:13:45,201 --> 00:13:47,534
- Okay.
- You're gonna love it.
375
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,080
Just one sec.
376
00:13:52,524 --> 00:13:55,451
Oh, uh, does anyone have
a dollar I can borrow?
377
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,544
- Mm-mm.
- I don't have any money.
378
00:13:57,621 --> 00:14:00,456
I only use plastic, my bro.
Paper money is filthy.
379
00:14:00,532 --> 00:14:03,634
Thank you for nothing, Mickey.
I will use my 20.
380
00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:07,638
Now you see it...
381
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:11,392
Now you don't.
382
00:14:11,543 --> 00:14:12,370
- Ah!
- Ha.
383
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,154
- Pretty cool, huh?
- Wow.
384
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:15,875
- Yeah.
- That's amazing!
385
00:14:15,899 --> 00:14:17,116
Yeah.
386
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,691
Make it reappear.
387
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,078
One sec.
388
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,946
Well, hey, I say good riddance
389
00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:31,115
to that germ-covered
Jackson, right?
390
00:14:31,139 --> 00:14:33,207
Remember when you taught me
how to make
391
00:14:33,231 --> 00:14:35,415
animals out of napkins?
392
00:14:36,159 --> 00:14:37,730
Wha...
393
00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:41,163
Yeah, um, Mickey's always try...
Asking me to teach him things.
394
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,982
Like when you taught me
how to make a dog.
395
00:14:48,489 --> 00:14:50,149
And there we go.
396
00:14:50,173 --> 00:14:53,008
- Ruff, ruff, ruff!
- That's so cute.
397
00:14:53,085 --> 00:14:54,971
I taught him that.
398
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,177
Oh, now you do one, Shrub.
399
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,975
- What?
- Remember when you taught me
400
00:14:57,999 --> 00:14:59,078
how to make a rabbit?
401
00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,399
That was fifth grade, dude.
402
00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,486
Sure.
403
00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,669
That doesn't look like a rabbit.
404
00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:12,932
Yeah, I told Mickey that
back then, too.
405
00:15:12,956 --> 00:15:14,455
Uh, but, Shrub,
406
00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:17,441
do you remember when you taught
me how to make a monkey?
407
00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:19,178
Flip that around,
cut it in half,
408
00:15:19,202 --> 00:15:20,272
and then you come over here,
409
00:15:20,296 --> 00:15:22,014
and then here you go.
410
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,798
There we go, huh? Right?
411
00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:31,524
I was trying to help Shrub
look good in front of Beth,
412
00:15:31,548 --> 00:15:33,215
because bro code,
413
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,178
but I just can't help
being impressive.
414
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,288
Even when I try to underachieve,
415
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,721
I overachieve.
416
00:15:38,873 --> 00:15:41,465
Hey, Mandy, you should really
double-knot those laces
417
00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:43,187
so they don't come untied again.
418
00:15:43,211 --> 00:15:47,229
I know how to tie
my damn shoes, Mickey.
419
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,780
She doesn't.
420
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,713
Okay, and now before
our jackpot game,
421
00:15:53,738 --> 00:15:55,698
we have a second treat.
422
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,313
Please welcome to the stage
423
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,484
the Amazing Dylan
and his assistant, Kelly.
424
00:16:05,066 --> 00:16:07,485
I was a bridesmaid
at my Aunt Lola's wedding.
425
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,970
She bought me this fancy dress,
426
00:16:08,994 --> 00:16:10,344
but I only wore it once.
427
00:16:10,495 --> 00:16:13,049
But I need to glam up
Dylan's act,
428
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,349
and I know I look hot in it.
429
00:16:17,245 --> 00:16:19,729
Wow, you look
really great, Kelly!
430
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:25,671
- Presenting the Pan of Mystery.
- Hmm, what are these?
431
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:26,842
Hmm?
432
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,864
Thank you.
433
00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:31,365
Let's see what's cooking.
434
00:16:36,764 --> 00:16:40,783
Oh, I think this rabbit stew
is a bit undercooked.
435
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,378
Thank you, thank you.
436
00:16:46,532 --> 00:16:49,290
I'd say this bears
investigation.
437
00:16:49,368 --> 00:16:50,888
You never know,
might be a story in it.
438
00:16:51,036 --> 00:16:52,605
Okay, let's go.
439
00:16:52,629 --> 00:16:54,296
Hey! Me, who am I?
440
00:16:54,373 --> 00:16:55,926
Swear to God, Mickey.
Swear to God.
441
00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:58,299
Anyone care to guess
what this majestic creature is?
442
00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:00,038
Yeah, a napkin, Mickey,
443
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,706
that normal people use
to wipe their mouths
444
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,600
when they're out on a date,
445
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:05,285
with only two people,
because that's how many people
446
00:17:05,308 --> 00:17:07,308
are supposed to be on a date!
447
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,111
God!
448
00:17:11,816 --> 00:17:13,292
A flamingo.
449
00:17:13,317 --> 00:17:15,317
Correct, sir. Hold on.
450
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,388
Aren't you the editor
of the Pockton Gazette?
451
00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:20,989
(crowd murmuring
452
00:17:21,142 --> 00:17:22,210
Uh, yep, yep.
453
00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:24,805
But not here
on Pockton business.
454
00:17:24,828 --> 00:17:27,328
Just having a-a night out
455
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:30,499
with my, uh... my good friend
and colleague.
456
00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:35,320
And abracadabra!
457
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:41,137
Thank you. Thank you.
458
00:17:41,162 --> 00:17:42,281
And for my final trick,
459
00:17:42,346 --> 00:17:44,307
I shall enthrall and amaze you
460
00:17:44,332 --> 00:17:46,809
with the Zig Zag Lady!
461
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:49,684
Ooh!
462
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,130
Uh, wait, uh...
463
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:10,349
it's caught. The blade is caught
464
00:18:10,374 --> 00:18:11,615
on my dress a little bit.
465
00:18:11,692 --> 00:18:14,134
Now you know why
I don't wear dresses.
466
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,375
Ow!
467
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:21,142
I'm totally cut in half! Uh-oh!
468
00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:22,528
Wait. I'm sorry.
469
00:18:22,553 --> 00:18:23,696
It's the dress, it's the dress.
470
00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:25,182
Okay, it's okay. It's okay.
471
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,700
I'm good with it. Oh.
472
00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:29,005
I'm just gonna... I'm gonna put
this through again.
473
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,802
Ah! I'm cut in half again!
474
00:18:40,496 --> 00:18:41,978
Ta-da!
475
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,907
Also, my Aunt Lola's marriage
only lasted, like, four months,
476
00:18:45,983 --> 00:18:48,484
so pretty sure
the dress is bad luck.
477
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:51,223
Miscalculation on my part.
478
00:18:51,248 --> 00:18:53,210
I got ya.
Let me help, let me help.
479
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,378
Three, two, one.
480
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:56,471
You guys and your soft hands
haven't done
481
00:18:56,494 --> 00:18:58,382
an honest day's work
in your life.
482
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,181
Out of my way!
483
00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:01,660
Oh, my God,
they're gonna break it.
484
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:05,019
Oh, my God!
485
00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:09,440
Showbiz!
486
00:19:10,808 --> 00:19:12,192
Oh, jeez.
487
00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:14,230
It was great spending
all that time with Dylan.
488
00:19:14,255 --> 00:19:15,695
But I think being the magician
489
00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:18,272
is more fun
than the assistant, so...
490
00:19:18,349 --> 00:19:20,534
I don't think I'll do it again,
491
00:19:20,611 --> 00:19:24,849
mostly because I'm pretty sure
Nadine won't let me.
492
00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:28,519
No, I probably wouldn't use
Kelly as my assistant again.
493
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,690
Nadine would be way better
at it anyway.
494
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,288
But can't do it together,
495
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,251
because we got rid
of all his magic stuff.
496
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:37,134
Not gonna need it.
497
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,866
Well...
498
00:19:41,891 --> 00:19:44,094
I'm sorry
about the crappy evening.
499
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,112
I had a really nice time.
500
00:19:46,135 --> 00:19:47,469
And it was nice of you
501
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,449
to let Mickey
and his grandma sit with us.
502
00:19:49,472 --> 00:19:51,565
But you were right,
it should have just been
503
00:19:51,717 --> 00:19:53,651
you and me.
504
00:19:55,738 --> 00:19:57,941
Can I give that food
to my sisters?
505
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,291
Oh, would they eat it?
506
00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:01,115
Yeah, they'll eat anything.
507
00:20:03,746 --> 00:20:05,487
Well, thanks.
508
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,398
Bye.
509
00:20:12,663 --> 00:20:14,958
You don't think anyone's
gonna give me a hard time
510
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,477
about being seen with you,
do you?
511
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,311
Hey, as long as you get
more eyes on your paper,
512
00:20:19,336 --> 00:20:20,928
who cares?
513
00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:23,263
Oh, here I am.
514
00:20:23,339 --> 00:20:26,082
So...
515
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,306
what's red and drawing
516
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,890
all of my attention
to your face?
517
00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:34,775
My lips?
518
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:43,098
- Duck sauce.
- Oh.
519
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,118
That's...
520
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,029
Oh.
521
00:20:48,105 --> 00:20:50,009
And your lips.
522
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:53,018
Well, worked for both, yeah.
523
00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:56,755
- Good night.
- Good night.
524
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,047
So, yeah, we had to pay
Murray back
525
00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:07,141
for breaking his Zig Zag box,
526
00:21:07,217 --> 00:21:08,435
so I got people
to come to his show
527
00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:09,453
for ten bucks a pop.
528
00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:11,553
And now with the help
of my assistant,
529
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:14,963
I shall mystify you
with the Genii Box!
530
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,651
Gonna have to do
531
00:21:17,728 --> 00:21:19,372
more shows, though,
'cause that stupid thing's
532
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:20,948
- so expensive.
- Whoo!
533
00:21:20,971 --> 00:21:23,359
Super interesting, 'cause no
one's paying for my bruises
534
00:21:23,384 --> 00:21:24,451
from falling out of the box,
535
00:21:24,476 --> 00:21:26,902
and my legs are frickin' purple.
536
00:21:27,054 --> 00:21:28,198
Half off, today only!
537
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:29,715
Watch this, kid.
538
00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:31,498
Oh! Oh! Oh!
539
00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:34,167
Showbiz!
37337
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