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1
00:00:03,695 --> 00:00:05,874
Come on, man! Air ball?
2
00:00:06,403 --> 00:00:09,093
At this point, I might as well
try out for the Lakers.
3
00:00:11,375 --> 00:00:13,071
Uh, Pop, didn't
you hurt your back
4
00:00:13,156 --> 00:00:14,859
brushing your teeth
the other day?
5
00:00:15,093 --> 00:00:17,093
That's because
our sink is too low.
6
00:00:17,464 --> 00:00:19,800
And, Tina,
stop telling my business.
7
00:00:19,885 --> 00:00:22,507
And you, keep my back
out your mouth.
8
00:00:27,531 --> 00:00:28,806
Oh, damn.
9
00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:30,548
Text from my brother, Curtis.
10
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,072
Said he's coming to visit.
11
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,633
Oh, nice. He hasn't been here
for a couple of years.
12
00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:35,816
It'll be good to see him.
13
00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:37,514
I don't know,
whenever he shows up,
14
00:00:37,598 --> 00:00:39,289
he always wants something.
15
00:00:39,374 --> 00:00:40,683
We know it ain't money.
16
00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:42,812
Well, it better not be a kidney.
17
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:46,039
Baby, with that $100 million
lottery jackpot he got,
18
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,117
he can buy
all the kidneys he wants.
19
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,832
Wait, wait, I thought
he was with Mama Marilyn
20
00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:52,554
on a luxury cruise
around the world?
21
00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:54,340
Uh, whatever, man.
22
00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:56,540
If I had won
the Super Power ball,
23
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,343
I'd have bought Mama
her own cruise ship.
24
00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,359
Well, if Uncle
Curtis is coming,
25
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:03,445
I need to update
my Amazon Wish List.
26
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,535
Oh, me, too...
Put me down for two jet skis.
27
00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,421
One for me
and one to rent.
28
00:01:07,506 --> 00:01:09,460
See, that's called
passive income.
29
00:01:10,176 --> 00:01:13,835
Guys, he's your uncle,
not Black Santa.
30
00:01:15,132 --> 00:01:16,922
But if he wants to buy us
one of those
31
00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:19,085
Sleep Number beds,
I would not be mad at him.
32
00:01:19,359 --> 00:01:20,922
Well, I am mad at him.
33
00:01:21,007 --> 00:01:22,743
Always flaunting
that money around
34
00:01:22,828 --> 00:01:25,649
like an NBA rookie
on All-Star weekend.
35
00:01:26,398 --> 00:01:28,710
Sounds like
somebody's jealous.
36
00:01:30,129 --> 00:01:31,726
I didn't say
it was you.
37
00:01:32,015 --> 00:01:34,320
Well, good, because I'm not.
38
00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:35,937
I got everything I need.
39
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:39,015
I got a beautiful wife,
adequate kids.
40
00:01:40,312 --> 00:01:42,508
Oh, I'll get it.
41
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,197
You know what,
I'm just gonna text Curtis
42
00:01:44,281 --> 00:01:45,369
and tell him we out of town.
43
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,649
I just don't want
to hear the noise.
44
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,652
I don't want to hear
all that yackety-yack...
45
00:01:50,031 --> 00:01:52,304
Uh... what's all this?
46
00:01:52,389 --> 00:01:54,655
Here's... Curtis!
47
00:02:00,986 --> 00:02:03,513
Yeah! Yeah!
48
00:02:03,597 --> 00:02:06,921
Boy, you always knew
how to make an entrance.
49
00:02:07,031 --> 00:02:09,165
I mean, at least this time
you didn't blow money
50
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:11,797
by bringing a gospel choir
and pole dancers.
51
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,165
No, dawg.
52
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,820
Of course not.
53
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,609
Ix-nay on the pole ancers-day.
54
00:02:17,992 --> 00:02:19,578
Ix-nay.
55
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:24,164
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
56
00:02:24,249 --> 00:02:25,890
♪ Welcome to the hood.
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
57
00:02:25,974 --> 00:02:27,974
Season 04 Episode 17
Aired on: March 28, 2022.
58
00:02:28,058 --> 00:02:30,058
Episode Title:
"Welcome to Bro Money, Bro Problems"
59
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,675
So the hostess says
there's a 30-minute wait,
60
00:02:34,759 --> 00:02:37,554
and Mama's getting hangry,
so I bought the place.
61
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,120
Now I own a Applebee's.
62
00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:42,692
I mean, what other choice
did I have?
63
00:02:43,984 --> 00:02:46,207
I don't know,
you could've waited at the bar
64
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,863
and ordered Riblets
like regular people?
65
00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:52,335
I can't believe you left
Mama Marilyn on a cruise ship.
66
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,955
Oh, she's fine. I left her
at the blackjack table
67
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,652
with a gang of chips, a Pepsi,
and a bucket of shrimps.
68
00:03:00,429 --> 00:03:02,968
Okay, well, maybe I should
call her and let her know
69
00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,375
you're no longer
in the bathroom.
70
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,621
Well, you know,
it's so good to finally meet
71
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:09,539
Calvin's little brother.
72
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:13,110
Ah, yeah, I got to tell you,
when we saw six Escalades
73
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:16,352
pull up on the street,
I thought it was the president.
74
00:03:16,749 --> 00:03:19,375
Not yet,
but I'm putting together a team.
75
00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:22,719
Oh, hasn't this country
been through enough?
76
00:03:24,248 --> 00:03:25,296
I don't know.
77
00:03:25,381 --> 00:03:27,288
Those are some pretty
sweet rides out front.
78
00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:28,566
Yeah, man, I would love to take
79
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,937
one of those out for a spin.
80
00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:33,430
Finally, my Oprah moment!
You get
81
00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:35,156
a car and you get a car!
82
00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:36,258
Oh, my... Yeah!
83
00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:39,539
Hey, don't get too attached...
They're rentals.
84
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,745
Anybody else need a car?
85
00:03:42,837 --> 00:03:44,648
Or a Applebee's?
86
00:03:45,179 --> 00:03:46,923
Well, you know, to be honest,
87
00:03:47,008 --> 00:03:48,660
we could use
one of those SUVs tomorrow.
88
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,208
We're taking a ton of
stuff to the Goodwill.
89
00:03:50,292 --> 00:03:52,324
Oh, yeah, we moved here
with so much stuff,
90
00:03:52,473 --> 00:03:53,715
and we never really organized.
91
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,625
So we want to get it done
while Grover's away at camp.
92
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:56,844
Yeah, and if we don't
do it now, we're gonna
93
00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:58,106
have to rent a storage unit.
94
00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,977
Oh, well, we wouldn't have to
95
00:04:00,061 --> 00:04:01,892
if someone didn't insist
on keeping
96
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,718
every T-shirt from every 5K
he's ever run.
97
00:04:06,241 --> 00:04:08,018
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, Gemma.
98
00:04:08,112 --> 00:04:09,160
They all spark joy.
99
00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:10,945
Dave, they can't
all spark joy.
100
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:12,642
Well... That's ridiculous.
101
00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:16,581
White people have
the strangest fights.
102
00:04:19,456 --> 00:04:20,964
These are real smooth,
man.
103
00:04:21,049 --> 00:04:22,043
Should be.
104
00:04:22,127 --> 00:04:24,535
I knew a guy that knew a guy
that knew Castro.
105
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,960
But if anybody asks,
106
00:04:26,044 --> 00:04:27,627
they're Honduran.
107
00:04:30,651 --> 00:04:33,141
Yeah, man,
we've come a long way, huh?
108
00:04:33,383 --> 00:04:34,909
Remember Mama and Daddy
109
00:04:34,994 --> 00:04:37,268
had to put everything
on layaway?
110
00:04:37,432 --> 00:04:38,973
I remember my first Big Wheel.
111
00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:41,149
By the time I got it,
I was too big for it.
112
00:04:41,233 --> 00:04:44,152
Yeah, we had to grease
you up pretty good
113
00:04:44,236 --> 00:04:46,676
to get you in and out
of that thing, remember?
114
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,070
Man.
115
00:04:49,154 --> 00:04:51,637
I'm so glad those days
are behind us.
116
00:04:51,721 --> 00:04:53,857
Now I got a guy for everything.
117
00:04:53,941 --> 00:04:56,686
If I want something, I get it.
118
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:59,560
Well, it's not that easy for me.
119
00:04:59,729 --> 00:05:01,794
I've been saving up money
to get Tina
120
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:04,630
this Birkin bag
for our 35th anniversary.
121
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,170
It's not for another
three years, but by that time,
122
00:05:07,255 --> 00:05:08,654
I should have the money,
you know?
123
00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:10,004
I hear those bags ain't cheap.
124
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:11,536
Oh, no.
125
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:14,724
A bag that expensive should
come with its own shoulder.
126
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:19,143
Nah. Tina's worth it.
127
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,015
You got a really good one
there, Cee.
128
00:05:21,099 --> 00:05:22,755
Yeah, thank you, man.
129
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:24,591
I mean, you got you
a good woman, too.
130
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:28,083
You-you and Raquel, y'all coming
up on, like, a year now, huh?
131
00:05:28,285 --> 00:05:29,550
How's she?
132
00:05:30,185 --> 00:05:31,614
She left me.
133
00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:33,527
Classic story.
134
00:05:33,894 --> 00:05:36,270
I bought her
some parasailing classes.
135
00:05:36,355 --> 00:05:38,618
She flies off
with the instructor.
136
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,778
That's the real reason
why I came.
137
00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:45,169
I needed
my big brother's support.
138
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,114
Man, I'm sorry
to hear that, little bro.
139
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,260
I thought she was happy.
140
00:05:49,344 --> 00:05:51,045
I bought her everything.
141
00:05:51,129 --> 00:05:52,786
I even got her mother a new hip,
142
00:05:52,871 --> 00:05:54,544
so she could Tootsie Roll again.
143
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,529
Well, you know what?
That's Raquel's loss.
144
00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:00,397
And her Tootsie Rollin' mama.
145
00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:03,579
I got you,
little brother.
146
00:06:04,371 --> 00:06:06,147
Yeah. Thank you, C-Boogie.
147
00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:10,542
You okay?
148
00:06:10,857 --> 00:06:12,109
Cigar too strong?
149
00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:15,200
No, it just reminds me
of Raquel.
150
00:06:15,591 --> 00:06:17,443
Packed, stacked,
151
00:06:17,726 --> 00:06:19,685
and bad for me.
152
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,947
Aw, the slow cooker we got
153
00:06:24,031 --> 00:06:25,906
for our wedding
that we never used.
154
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:27,685
Obvious toss, right?
155
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,779
Well, I don't know.
156
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,825
What if I need to make a stew?
157
00:06:32,122 --> 00:06:33,849
Have you ever made a stew?
158
00:06:34,005 --> 00:06:36,131
Well, no,
but I haven't needed to.
159
00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:37,216
Oh.
160
00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:39,412
Oh.
161
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,053
- Oh, hey, Curtis.
- Hi.
162
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:45,614
Hello, Calvin's friends.
163
00:06:46,271 --> 00:06:48,483
You said you needed
to be organized,
164
00:06:48,568 --> 00:06:49,973
so I hired Tyler.
165
00:06:50,104 --> 00:06:52,388
He's a stuff organizer.
166
00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:56,368
I prefer "domestic
efficiency expert."
167
00:06:56,453 --> 00:06:58,873
Yeah, I can't remember all
that... I'm just gonna call you
168
00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:01,193
a "stuff organizer."
169
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:03,508
You're Tyler.
170
00:07:03,592 --> 00:07:04,988
From Tyler Tidies Up.
171
00:07:05,072 --> 00:07:08,224
I watch your show...
when I should be cleaning.
172
00:07:08,575 --> 00:07:09,935
Wow, thank you, Curtis.
173
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,415
Hey, what can I say?
174
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,678
I make dreams come true.
175
00:07:13,763 --> 00:07:15,318
Later, kitty cats.
176
00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:17,119
Oh, meow!
177
00:07:19,224 --> 00:07:20,264
Hey, uh...
178
00:07:20,348 --> 00:07:23,193
didn't you help organize
Harry and Meghan's new house?
179
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:24,755
Yes, and, uh, not to dish,
180
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,958
but they are total hoarders.
181
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:29,966
I mean, how many photographs
of the queen do you need?
182
00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:31,975
Oh, no.
183
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,800
These can't possibly be
raver jeans.
184
00:07:34,898 --> 00:07:37,233
I'm telling you right now,
I'm tossing your glow sticks.
185
00:07:37,318 --> 00:07:40,154
See what I'm dealing with here?
186
00:07:40,239 --> 00:07:41,795
Okay, all right,
I am not quite sure
187
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,809
how these made it
into the junk pile.
188
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,927
I wore these to my very first
Sugar Ray concert.
189
00:07:48,241 --> 00:07:49,811
Look, I know parting
190
00:07:49,896 --> 00:07:51,786
with belongings
can be stressful.
191
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,819
But I've got
just one question for you.
192
00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:56,638
Do you like clutter?
193
00:07:58,669 --> 00:08:00,174
- No?
- No.
194
00:08:00,497 --> 00:08:03,264
Of course not,
so I'll go through every inch
195
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:06,014
of your home and decide
where everything belongs.
196
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:08,670
Oh, my gosh, this is just
like being on your show.
197
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:09,858
Okay, how can we help?
198
00:08:09,943 --> 00:08:12,170
You can't.
Leave, and let Tyler...
199
00:08:12,255 --> 00:08:13,483
Tidy up!
200
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:17,582
Sorry, that's your line.
201
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:19,948
No, no, I get it,
you're excited.
202
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,685
But don't do it again.
203
00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:26,920
Ooh, okay, okay.
204
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,490
Curtis hooked you boys up.
205
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:29,812
Oh, big time, Mama.
206
00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:31,780
Drake was rocking
these babies in his last video.
207
00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:33,958
Oh, mm-hmm.
208
00:08:34,044 --> 00:08:35,365
Okay, do I look
debonair?
209
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,732
No... don't answer that.
210
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,500
I feel debonair.
211
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,413
And that is
all that matters.
212
00:08:43,214 --> 00:08:45,200
Yes.
Yo!
213
00:08:45,346 --> 00:08:48,744
I bet you thought you'd never
helicopter to Tijuana for tacos.
214
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,950
It was worth pissing off
that border patrol.
215
00:08:52,036 --> 00:08:54,071
Oh, that serrano ceviche
216
00:08:54,156 --> 00:08:56,332
was muy caliente.
217
00:08:57,881 --> 00:08:59,492
Hey, nephews.
218
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:00,930
I got you a little
something.
219
00:09:01,014 --> 00:09:02,475
Aw, Uncle Curtis.
220
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:03,882
You got to stop
buying us stuff, man.
221
00:09:03,966 --> 00:09:05,257
So y'all don't want
these Rolexes?
222
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:07,248
No, I mean after this.
223
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,857
No, no, after this, after this.
224
00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:11,350
Baby, I thought
you said you hated it
225
00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:13,073
when Curtis throws
his money around.
226
00:09:13,157 --> 00:09:15,013
Well, I do, babe, but...
227
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:17,693
he's going through
a real bad breakup,
228
00:09:17,777 --> 00:09:18,576
- so...
- Oh.
229
00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:21,139
...if buying things for
people makes him happy,
230
00:09:21,224 --> 00:09:22,559
who am I to judge?
231
00:09:24,252 --> 00:09:25,779
Oh, I'll get it.
232
00:09:25,911 --> 00:09:27,696
Oh, by the way...
233
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,611
I got you something.
234
00:09:29,911 --> 00:09:31,427
Oh.
235
00:09:37,563 --> 00:09:39,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
236
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:44,053
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
237
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,404
No, no, no!
238
00:09:47,263 --> 00:09:48,732
Oh, somebody pinch me!
239
00:09:48,817 --> 00:09:51,200
A Hermes Birkin bag?!
240
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,903
I-I've been wanting
one of these for years!
241
00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:56,029
Seven years
to be exact.
242
00:09:56,256 --> 00:09:58,217
What? How did you know?
243
00:09:58,302 --> 00:10:00,864
Baby, you told him,
didn't you?
244
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:02,209
I sure did.
245
00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:04,654
Oh, thank you so much! Look!
246
00:10:04,739 --> 00:10:06,700
Look! Look, look at my...
247
00:10:08,161 --> 00:10:09,646
Look at my bag!
248
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:11,176
No need to say anything.
249
00:10:11,261 --> 00:10:14,115
That look on your face is
thanks enough.
250
00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:27,279
Look at her.
251
00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:28,748
She's so smooth and sexy.
252
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,138
Just like me.
253
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,698
I'm gonna call her Burkina.
254
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,864
You know, I-I'm gonna need
a special place in my closet.
255
00:10:37,972 --> 00:10:40,693
Boys, come help me
clean out my closet.
256
00:10:40,779 --> 00:10:42,720
And part of your dad's, too.
257
00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:50,380
Curtis.
258
00:10:50,464 --> 00:10:52,077
Let me stop you right there.
259
00:10:52,161 --> 00:10:53,748
You're welcome.
260
00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:57,043
I'm "welcome"?
261
00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:00,042
You just made me look like
a chump in front of my wife.
262
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,000
What did I do?
I just bought Tina
263
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:04,264
a bag she wanted.
I did you a favor.
264
00:11:04,348 --> 00:11:06,475
I didn't need a favor,
all right?
265
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,093
I was gonna buy that bag myself.
266
00:11:08,177 --> 00:11:10,313
Yeah, but not
for another three years.
267
00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:12,446
I saved you all that
time and money.
268
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:15,123
Did you see the happy look
she gave me?
269
00:11:15,638 --> 00:11:16,794
Yes.
270
00:11:16,879 --> 00:11:18,277
I saw the look.
271
00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:19,796
That was the look
I was supposed to get.
272
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,106
You stole my look!
273
00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:23,852
I'm rich... I don't got to steal.
274
00:11:25,456 --> 00:11:28,568
Curtis, me buying her that purse
275
00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:30,639
was important to me, all right?
276
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,379
It was a symbol
of my love for her.
277
00:11:32,463 --> 00:11:33,641
That's beautiful.
278
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:35,232
So we did it!
279
00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:37,677
See, you just don't get it.
280
00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:41,162
You think you can just always
slide in here and buy folks.
281
00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:43,919
Well, you can't buy
my family and friends.
282
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:45,849
Where is it?
Where's Burkina?
283
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:48,307
Right here! She's right here, oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
284
00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:50,742
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
- Isn't it gorgeous?
285
00:11:50,826 --> 00:11:52,404
Ladies? Ladies!
286
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:54,935
Please, I'm trying
to make a point here.
287
00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:58,970
Oh, you made your point.
288
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:01,579
Loud and clear.
289
00:12:11,502 --> 00:12:13,935
You know, with a little bit
of distance, I can see
290
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:16,349
that it's time
to let go of some stuff.
291
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:17,641
Yes, it is.
292
00:12:17,725 --> 00:12:19,794
And, honey, I am really
proud of you.
293
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:21,928
We are gonna feel
so much better
294
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:24,505
after purging all your junk
we don't need.
295
00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:28,059
Oh...
296
00:12:28,144 --> 00:12:30,404
Welcome to Xanadu.
297
00:12:30,728 --> 00:12:32,439
Everything has been put away.
298
00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:34,798
And you've been Tyler-ed.
299
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,393
Is it just me,
300
00:12:37,478 --> 00:12:39,494
or does
this room seem larger?
301
00:12:39,579 --> 00:12:40,837
Yeah, it's nice, uh...
302
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,860
What's with the bags?
303
00:12:43,735 --> 00:12:45,320
I've organized your essentials.
304
00:12:45,405 --> 00:12:47,671
And what's in these bags
is non-essential.
305
00:12:47,962 --> 00:12:50,986
Dave, I know
this is gonna be hard,
306
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,612
but you're just gonna have
to let go of some things
307
00:12:52,696 --> 00:12:54,374
we don't need, like this.
308
00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:58,181
What in the fluff
and fold have you done?!
309
00:13:00,883 --> 00:13:02,671
This isn't trash.
310
00:13:02,814 --> 00:13:04,949
These are
all my pageant dresses.
311
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,743
Yes,
your ancient pageantry items
312
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,314
were taking up space
in your closet.
313
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,877
If by "taking up space,"
314
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:15,806
you mean "lovingly stored
away from light."
315
00:13:17,781 --> 00:13:19,310
Now, Gemma, I know
this is gonna...
316
00:13:19,395 --> 00:13:20,993
Stay out of this, Dave! Look...
317
00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:24,525
I know it's difficult,
but as I say on my show,
318
00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:27,345
"If it's covered in dust,
saying toodle-oo is a must."
319
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:30,252
The only thing non-essential
320
00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:32,885
around here is you,
Harry Poppins.
321
00:13:33,235 --> 00:13:34,525
Get out of my house.
322
00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:35,676
Ah, you know what, lady?
323
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,314
I knew doing
a side gig was a mistake.
324
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,080
I don't need this.
325
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:44,293
Hold on, uh...
what happened to your accent?
326
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,990
It's an act, Columbo.
327
00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:49,174
Nobody wants to take cleaning
advice from a guy from Brooklyn.
328
00:13:56,808 --> 00:13:58,182
You okay?
329
00:13:59,174 --> 00:14:00,753
I know some people
330
00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:02,628
think beauty pageants
are superficial,
331
00:14:02,713 --> 00:14:05,947
but that prize money
helped me pay for college.
332
00:14:06,298 --> 00:14:08,300
Plus, my mom spent hours
333
00:14:08,385 --> 00:14:10,275
sewing these dresses.
334
00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,986
They're also really pretty.
335
00:14:14,306 --> 00:14:16,533
I had no idea
these meant so much to you.
336
00:14:16,736 --> 00:14:18,855
I know it was my idea
to get rid of all this clutter,
337
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,096
but there are just some things
I can't let go of.
338
00:14:22,353 --> 00:14:24,487
Look, it's like
my JNCO jeans.
339
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,025
You know, when I first saw
them in Miller's Outpost,
340
00:14:27,182 --> 00:14:29,469
I was, I was...
oh, my gosh.
341
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:32,439
I had to have them.
342
00:14:34,736 --> 00:14:36,715
But, you know, that's a story
for another time. - Yeah, mm-hmm.
343
00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:38,432
- This is about your dresses.
- Yeah.
344
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,221
Oh, hey, Calvin.
345
00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:46,635
Want some snow shoes
or a laser disc player?
346
00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:49,774
No and hell no.
347
00:14:49,859 --> 00:14:52,064
It's the 21st century, Dave.
348
00:14:53,463 --> 00:14:54,583
What are you doing out here?
349
00:14:55,043 --> 00:14:56,961
Eh, just trying
to chill out.
350
00:14:57,502 --> 00:15:00,853
Curtis bought Tina
that purse I've been saving for.
351
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,900
I've never seen her
so happy.
352
00:15:03,156 --> 00:15:05,114
That made me so mad.
353
00:15:06,627 --> 00:15:07,985
Well, I'm sorry.
354
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,597
I guess that lottery
money changed him.
355
00:15:10,682 --> 00:15:12,990
No, he's always been
like that.
356
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,835
When we were younger, I'd be
hanging out with my friends,
357
00:15:15,928 --> 00:15:18,629
Curtis would pop up,
and give them all candy.
358
00:15:18,713 --> 00:15:21,208
He was everybody's favorite
until the candy ran out.
359
00:15:21,293 --> 00:15:24,386
Then they all come running back
to me with their blue tongues.
360
00:15:28,254 --> 00:15:30,848
Well, it sounds
like the same kid
361
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,566
just with a bigger
bank account.
362
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,106
Well, he's not a kid.
363
00:15:35,191 --> 00:15:36,971
He's a grown man.
364
00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:39,058
Yeah, but, you know,
365
00:15:39,143 --> 00:15:41,278
wanting to be liked
never goes away.
366
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:43,034
Hmm.
367
00:15:43,144 --> 00:15:44,369
Yeah, I guess so.
368
00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:47,566
Well, damn, Dave,
you just helped me
369
00:15:47,651 --> 00:15:50,660
understand my little brother
better than I ever have before.
370
00:15:50,988 --> 00:15:53,074
- Thanks, man.
- Well, you're welcome.
371
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:55,442
Hey, are you sure you don't
want this laser disc player?
372
00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:57,382
You know,
Top Gun is stuck inside.
373
00:15:57,467 --> 00:16:00,738
Sorry, Goose, but I've lost
that loving feeling.
374
00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:06,208
Dave, I told you I didn't
want to waste money
375
00:16:06,293 --> 00:16:08,949
putting our junk in an
overpriced storage unit.
376
00:16:12,568 --> 00:16:15,226
Oh...
377
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:16,488
So what do you think
378
00:16:16,573 --> 00:16:19,425
about the Gemma Johnson Museum?
379
00:16:19,597 --> 00:16:22,356
I love it!
380
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,583
I do want to waste
money putting our junk
381
00:16:24,668 --> 00:16:27,412
in an overpriced
storage unit!
382
00:16:27,504 --> 00:16:30,111
Well, you know, we do have owe
Tyler some credit for rescuing
383
00:16:30,195 --> 00:16:32,997
these dresses
from the back of your closet.
384
00:16:33,082 --> 00:16:35,113
They should be in a place
where you can enjoy them.
385
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:37,964
Oh.Plus the first month's rent
was only a dollar.
386
00:16:39,683 --> 00:16:41,209
Thank you so much.
387
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,732
You are the sweetest.
388
00:16:42,816 --> 00:16:45,215
And you got
all my favorites.
389
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,794
Miss Hog Queen.
390
00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:48,730
Miss Freshwater Trout.
391
00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:54,325
Wait a minute,
are those your raver jeans?
392
00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,754
Oh, yeah,
that's a special exhibit.
393
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:59,371
On loan from
the Dave Johnson collection.
394
00:17:01,748 --> 00:17:04,058
Yes! There we go, there we go.
395
00:17:04,142 --> 00:17:05,407
Booyah!
396
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,015
You're a joke.
Pay up, sucker.
397
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:13,109
- Who's next?
- Me.
398
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,904
How'd you find me?
399
00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:17,723
Wasn't that hard.
400
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,047
I mean, you would always come
here whenever you got upset.
401
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,235
Come on, man,
let's go.
402
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:25,254
First off the block.
403
00:17:25,539 --> 00:17:27,342
Yeah,
right into a wall. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
404
00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:29,257
Yes, yes, yes.
405
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,650
I'm on that corner, baby... Yes...
406
00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:32,608
Whoa! Whoa! No,
no, no, no! No, no, no!
407
00:17:32,692 --> 00:17:34,610
No! Yes, yes!
408
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:36,133
Yeah!
409
00:17:36,225 --> 00:17:38,970
- Watch out, truck!
- Dang it!
410
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,488
How'd we both come in third?
411
00:17:45,378 --> 00:17:46,918
Hey, look, Curtis.
412
00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:49,393
I know you thought
you were doing me a solid
413
00:17:49,478 --> 00:17:51,707
when you bought Tina
that purse.
414
00:17:52,126 --> 00:17:55,219
All right? It-it's your way
of expressing love and...
415
00:17:55,332 --> 00:17:58,442
it's okay for a rich man
like yourself, but for me,
416
00:17:58,527 --> 00:18:00,293
it takes a lot of sacrifice.
417
00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:02,770
I spent a lot of late nights
in that shop
418
00:18:02,855 --> 00:18:06,535
fixing cars... hell,
I even gave up my NFL package.
419
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:10,207
That's how much I wanted
to buy that purse for Tina.
420
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:14,575
Wow, I never thought
of it like that.
421
00:18:14,982 --> 00:18:17,083
And you were right.
422
00:18:17,168 --> 00:18:19,982
I do use my money to
get people to like me.
423
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,377
Look, money doesn't
make people like you.
424
00:18:22,462 --> 00:18:25,162
Yeah, well, I got 100 mil
that says you wrong.
425
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,341
See, that's your problem.
426
00:18:28,426 --> 00:18:29,908
Just because you received it,
427
00:18:30,146 --> 00:18:32,456
doesn't mean
that you achieved it.
428
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,810
Respect isn't bought.
429
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:36,457
It's earned.
430
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:40,178
You sound like my
team of therapists.
431
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,716
You know,
the right kind of people?
432
00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:46,111
They'll always
love you for you.
433
00:18:47,058 --> 00:18:49,099
Which reminds me,
434
00:18:49,556 --> 00:18:51,380
whenever you're ready
to start dating again,
435
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:54,177
would you please take
"I hit the Super Power ball"
436
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:55,832
off your Tinder profile?
437
00:18:56,501 --> 00:18:58,458
All right.
438
00:18:58,543 --> 00:19:00,467
I guess I'm gonna have to put
something corny on there like,
439
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:03,583
"I like rom come and
long walks to the bank."
440
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,763
Okay, you know what,
we gonna keep working on that.
441
00:19:08,687 --> 00:19:10,599
See, Cal?
442
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:12,729
This is why
I came home, man.
443
00:19:13,306 --> 00:19:15,702
You always know how
to pick me up, kid.
444
00:19:17,044 --> 00:19:19,441
And it's free of charge.
445
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,313
All right, man, come on,
let's get this thing started.
446
00:19:21,397 --> 00:19:22,705
So I can beat your ass
on this motorcycle.
447
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:25,273
You the one that's gonna
get beat down. All right.
448
00:19:25,357 --> 00:19:26,448
Cal?
449
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:27,502
Sorry about the purse.
450
00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:28,796
I'll take it back.
451
00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:30,966
Good luck with that.
452
00:19:31,494 --> 00:19:34,584
Tina sleeps with that thing
handcuffed to her wrist.
453
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,179
And I also bought you something
to make up for everything.
454
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,182
Hey, Curtis.
455
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,812
I told you, man,
I love you for you.
456
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,988
I don't need anything.
457
00:19:45,072 --> 00:19:47,817
Cool, I'll just take
back the Ferrari.
458
00:19:47,901 --> 00:19:50,559
"Ferrari"?
459
00:19:50,643 --> 00:19:52,729
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
460
00:19:52,814 --> 00:19:55,128
Look, man,
I can't accept that,
461
00:19:55,307 --> 00:19:57,745
but we can take it
back to the dealership
462
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,309
the long way.
463
00:20:01,524 --> 00:20:03,442
Come on, man, let's go,
let's get this...
464
00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:06,385
Some pretty riding,
pretty riding...
465
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:14,152
All right, now, buckle up,
'cause we're about
466
00:20:14,237 --> 00:20:15,706
to make some
bad decisions.
467
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:17,953
And this time,
468
00:20:18,037 --> 00:20:20,237
Mama won't be around
to give us a whupping.
469
00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:25,001
Wait.
470
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:27,788
You spent $300,000
on this car
471
00:20:27,873 --> 00:20:29,339
and you don't know
how to drive it?
472
00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:31,095
That's because
my big brother never
473
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,753
taught me how to drive stick.
474
00:20:32,838 --> 00:20:34,207
Oh, okay.
475
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:36,058
So that's on me, all right.
476
00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:38,651
Well, I'm gonna teach you now.
First...
477
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:40,627
you got to ease up off
the clutch and give it some gas
478
00:20:40,711 --> 00:20:43,021
at the same time.
Let me check you out.
479
00:20:43,292 --> 00:20:44,544
Okay, like this?
480
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,258
I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
481
00:20:48,343 --> 00:20:51,181
Yeah, but you're
on the sidewalk doing it!
482
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:52,366
Aah!
34592
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