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Downloaded from
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♪ ♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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>> Jerrod: I'M HAPPY YOU'RE
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HERE.
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I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.
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ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?
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I WANT YOU GUYS TO FEEL LIKE
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FAMILY.
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I KNOW THAT CAMERAS ARE HERE,
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AND IT IS A WHOLE THING.
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IT IS A BIG NIGHT.
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A LOT OF PRESSURE.
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THAT KIND OF THING.
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I WANT YOU TO BE COMFORTABLE.
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I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
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I NEED YOU.
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I HAVE -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
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SECRETS.
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SECRETS.
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I SHOULD WHISPER IT, RIGHT?
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I HAVE CARRIED A LOT OF SECRETS
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MY WHOLE LIFE.
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I FEEL LIKE I WAS BURDENED INTO
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THEM.
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ONE OF MY BIGGEST, ONE OF MY
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LAST HELD SECRETS IS MY NAME.
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MY NAME IS NOT JERROD.
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WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY.
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JERROD IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
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I WAS GIVEN THE NAME JERROD, MY
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BROTHER, JOE, IS LIKE SEVEN
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YEARS OLDER THAN ME.
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JUST TRUSTED A KID TO NAME A
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KID, BUT WHATEVER.
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I'M THANKFUL FOR THAT.
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WITHOUT HIM, I WOULD HAVE TO GO
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BY MY REAL NAME, MY FIRST NAME.
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WHICH WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
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IT'S NOT GOOD.
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IT'S NOT GOOD.
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I DON'T LIKE IT.
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I'VE ALWAYS HATED THAT NAME.
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NO ONE CALLS ME THAT EXCEPT FOR
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MY MOM.
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MY DAD NAMED ME -- HE COMBINED
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HIS DAD'S FIRST NAME AND MY
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MOM'S DAD'S FIRST NAME.
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AND MUSHED THEM TOGETHER.
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NOT TO MAKE SOME ELEGANT LIKE
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WILLIAM EDWARD OR SOMETHING LIKE
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THAT.
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IT'S MORE LIKE TOYOTATHON.
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I HATE THAT NAME.
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I HAVE HIDDEN IT MY WHOLE LIFE.
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I USED TO GET IT REMOVED FROM
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THE YEARBOOK EVERY YEAR IN
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HIGH SCHOOL.
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I WOULD DRIVE SOMEBODY.
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IT WOULD COST ME $20.
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I WOULD HAVE MY FIRST NAME TAKEN
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OUT OF IT.
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I NEVER LET PEOPLE SEE MY
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DRIVER'S LICENSE.
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MY BANK CARDS.
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I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ASHAMED OF IT.
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I'VE ALWAYS HIDDEN IT.
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AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A
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NAME GIVEN TO ME TO HONOR TWO
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PEOPLE.
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RIGHT?
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IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS GIFT
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TO BOTH OF MY GRANDDADS.
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AND IT ALMOST SEEMED KIND OF
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FUCKED UP THAT I HIDE THAT, TUCK
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IT AWAY, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
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DON'T KNOW MY GRANDFATHERS.
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IF YOU KNEW THEM, YOU WOULD KNOW
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KEEPING A SECRET IS THE ONLY WAY
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TO HONOR THEM.
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LIKE THAT IS WHO THEY WERE.
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THE GRANDDADS, I AM NAMED AFTER
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TWO MEN WHO MOSTLY, MOST OF
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THEIR LIVES, MOST OF THEIR SEX
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LIVES AT LEAST WERE SECRETS.
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MY MOM'S DAD HAD FOUR KIDS WITH
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MY MOM'S MOM, HIS WIFE, AND FOUR
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KIDS OUTSIDE OF THE MARRIAGE.
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JUST KIND OF SCATTERED ABOUT.
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MY DAD'S DAD HAD FIVE KIDS WITH
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HIS WIFE.
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AND ABOUT 23 OUTSIDE OF THE
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MARRIAGE.
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YEAH.
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I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF COOL
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NIGGAS.
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23.
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23.
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THERE IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
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JIM IS HIS NAME.
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WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME
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BECAUSE MY DAD WAS AN OUTSIDE
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KID.
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YEAH.
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YEAH.
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YEAH.
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YEAH.
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THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY IT.
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THOUGHT YOUR GRANDMA WAS A SIDE
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PIECE.
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I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE
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SOMETHING ELSE.
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HE WAS FUCKING MARRIED.
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MY GRANDFATHER HAD THREE KIDS --
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MY UNCLE PETE, MY DAD, AND HIS
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AND MY AUNT.
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HIS WIFE FOUND OUT AND
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CONFRONTED MY GRANDMA ABOUT IT.
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I LIKE TO THINK IT WAS
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UNCOMFORTABLE.
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BUT SHE CONFRONTED MY GRANDMA
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AND DEMANDED THAT SHE STOP
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SLEEPING WITH HER MAN.
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AND MY GRANDMA FUCKED HIM AGAIN.
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PROUD OF THAT, BY THE WAY.
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SHE WILL TELL EVERYBODY HER
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ORIGIN STORY.
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SHE SAID DON'T NOBODY TELL ME
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WHO TO SLEEP WITH.
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I'M THE SPITE BABY.
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BUT WE DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT
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IT.
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WE DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT IT.
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MY DAD DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HIS
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DAD, BUT HE STILL FELT ENOUGH
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PRIDE TO, YOU KNOW, NAME ME
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AFTER HIM.
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MY MOM'S DAD WAS ALSO A CHEATER,
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BUT SHE LIVED IN THE HOUSE THAT
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HE WAS CHEATING FROM.
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YOU KNOW.
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AND SO WHEN YOU ARE THAT FAMILY,
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YOU LEARN NOT TO SAY SHIT.
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YOU KNOW.
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MY MOM, I GUESS, LEARNED FROM
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HER MOM.
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I'M TRYING TO PAINT A PICTURE OF
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A WORLD BEFORE DESTINY'S CHILD.
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WHERE, YOU KNOW, WOMEN GOT
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CHEATED ON.
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IT DID NOT PLAY OUT LIKE A TERRY
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McMILLAN NOVEL.
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IT WAS MUCH MORE QUIET THAN
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THAT.
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THEY JUST KIND OF EXISTED WITH
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THE SECRET.
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THEY KNEW, BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW.
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IT'S WEIRD.
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AND IT'S LIKE GENERATIONS OF THE
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FEW GENERATIONS OF JUST SEEING
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THINGS, NOT SEEING THINGS.
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I SAW MY PARENTS' SEX TAPE.
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I WAS ABOUT 12 YEARS OLD.
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I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL EARLY.
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I WOULD WATCH -- LIKE MY DAD OR
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BROTHER, THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD A
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PORN STASH.
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THIS WAS THE '90s.
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HE HAD HIS TAPES IN A NIKE BOX
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IN THE BEDROOM CLOSET ON THE TOP
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SHELF.
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BESIDE A GUN AND A JAR OF
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NIPPLES.
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AND I REMEMBER PUTTING THIS TAPE
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IN.
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IT WAS ABOUT 15 SECONDS BEFORE I
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STARTED RECOGNIZING THE BEDROOM.
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THOSE SHEETS GOT LEMONS ON THEM.
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BUT THAT'S THE THING.
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I NEVER TOLD MY FAMILY.
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I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS THAT I
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HAD SEEN THAT.
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IT'S ODD BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF
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THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN'T TALK
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ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR
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PARENTS.
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NOT THAT ANYBODY REALLY WANTS
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TO, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T.
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YOU ARE ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOUR
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PARENTS FUCKED.
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YOUR DAD CAME IN YOUR MOM.
201
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AND YOU'RE HERE.
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00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:11,604
YOU'RE EVER WATCHING A MOVIE
203
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WITH YOUR PARENTS AND LIKE A SEX
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00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:22,515
SCENE CAME ON.
205
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,349
YOU JUST GOTTA BE LIKE...
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00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,016
THINGS THAT EXIST BUT DON'T
207
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,987
EXIST.
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00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:28,921
IT'S THINGS THAT ARE LIKE RIGHT
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00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:39,665
THERE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.
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00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:43,936
MY FATHER HAD ME AND MY BROTHER.
211
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:49,608
WITH MY MOM.
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00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:55,648
AND HE HAD THE FOUR KIDS.
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WITH BITCH NEIGHBOR, ANITA.
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00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:04,056
IT'S NOT THAT I HATE HER NAME.
215
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,458
BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A VILLAIN IN
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00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:09,361
A TYLER PEARY MOVIE.
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00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,062
OTHER KIDS, HE HAD OTHER KIDS.
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00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:10,896
MY DAD WAS REALLY OUT THERE,
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00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:15,234
MAN.
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00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,135
HE WAS REALLY, REALLY OUT THERE.
221
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:16,769
AND I KNEW ABOUT IT SINCE I WAS
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00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:17,303
A KID.
223
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,573
IT WAS A SMALL TOWN.
224
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,475
IT IS A SECRET THAT HE THOUGHT
225
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,478
HE WAS KEEPING FROM THE FAMILY.
226
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:26,178
HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING A
227
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:31,117
GOOD JOB OF KEEPING THE SECRET.
228
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:31,717
BUT I FOUND OUT.
229
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:32,751
I NEVER TOLD HIM.
230
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:33,619
I DID NOT TELL HIM.
231
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,387
MY BROTHER FOUND OUT.
232
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,889
HE DID NOT TELL HIM.
233
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,792
IT'S FUNNY TO LIVE IN A HOUSE
234
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,393
WITH SOMEONE KNOWING WHO THEY
235
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,129
ARE, KNOWING THAT THEY ARE
236
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,197
CHEATING ON YOUR MOM, AND NOT
237
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,667
SAYING ANYTHING TO HIM.
238
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,903
HE USED TO GO OUT ON FRIDAY
239
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:51,470
NIGHTS, SAY HE WAS GOING TO
240
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:52,671
WORK.
241
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,441
MY DAD WAS A TRUCK DRIVER.
242
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:59,311
WHICH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE
243
00:12:59,378 --> 00:12:59,945
CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE AND YOU ARE
244
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:08,787
LOOKING FOR A PROFESSION...
245
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,622
WITH BLACKOUT DATES, GET YOUR
246
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,891
CDL AND HIT THE ROAD.
247
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:17,663
I WOULD REALLY RECOMMEND IT.
248
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,331
HE WENT -- HE WOULD SAY HE WAS
249
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,366
GOING TO A SECOND JOB ON FRIDAY
250
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:33,012
NIGHTS.
251
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:33,846
BUT LIKE HE WOULD GET DRESSED
252
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,747
UP.
253
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,682
AND I MEAN DRESSED I LIKE
254
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,416
NORTH CAROLINA DAD STANDARDS.
255
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,350
HE WOULD SAY HE WAS GOING TO
256
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,318
WORK.
257
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,555
WITH COLOGNE ON.
258
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,223
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
259
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:48,460
HE WAS LIKE A LIAR.
260
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:49,528
AND IT WOULD JUST LEAVE ME AS A
261
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,330
KID, KNOWING -- IT'S WEIRD.
262
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:51,931
IT'S WEIRD TO KNOW IT.
263
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,599
TO KNOW.
264
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,001
TO REALLY, REALLY KNOW.
265
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:59,872
AND NOT SAY ANYTHING.
266
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,340
I WAS SCARED.
267
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,777
I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
268
00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:05,411
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I COULD HAVE
269
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:08,714
DONE.
270
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:09,815
I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE
271
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:13,118
SAID ANYTHING IF I HAD BEEN
272
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,253
ENCOURAGED.
273
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,090
BECAUSE I ONLY SAW THE SECRET IS
274
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,525
SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE TORN
275
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,995
OUR FAMILY APART.
276
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:24,530
IF MY MOTHER FOUND OUT, I
277
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,865
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OVER.
278
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:27,633
HE WAS FUCKING MY HOMEBOY TJ'S
279
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,637
AUNT.
280
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,905
THAT WAS THE STORY TJ TOLD ME
281
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:38,377
ABOUT.
282
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:42,615
TJ, HE DID NOT WANT TO SNITCH.
283
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:43,182
YOU'RE IN THE HOOD.
284
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:43,782
YOU KNOW.
285
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:47,987
I DID NOT WANT TO SNITCH.
286
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:48,587
HE TOLD ME.
287
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,990
HE WAS LIKE MAN, I CAME HOME
288
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:56,195
FROM SCHOOL THE OTHER DAY.
289
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:59,565
I WENT TO MY AUNT'S HOUSE.
290
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,232
YOUR PAPA WAS JUST THERE ON THE
291
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:00,633
COUCH.
292
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:06,438
WHAT?
293
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:07,006
YEAH, YEAH.
294
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:07,573
HE SAW MY DAD SITTING ON THE
295
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,040
COUCH.
296
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:08,540
HE WALKS IN.
297
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:09,508
HE IS EXCITED TO SEE MY DAD.
298
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,811
HE KNOWS MY DAD VERY WELL.
299
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,382
THEY PLAY "MADDEN" TOGETHER.
300
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,351
HE KNOWS HIM.
301
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,487
HE'S LIKE MR. CARMICHAEL, WHAT
302
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:22,054
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
303
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:22,821
MY DAD, BEING CAUGHT, UNDER
304
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,424
PRESSURE, YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?
305
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,292
HE JUST SQUINTED HIS EYES AND
306
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:38,570
PRETENDED HE WAS SOMEBODY ELSE.
307
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:39,405
HE GOT HIS SHIT AND GOT THE FUCK
308
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:50,549
OUT OF THERE.
309
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,317
AND TJ WAS THERE WITH HIS AUNT.
310
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:51,917
HE SAID DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT
311
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:52,184
WAS?
312
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:52,851
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND'S DAD.
313
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:55,454
THAT'S JOE CARMICHAEL.
314
00:15:55,521 --> 00:16:01,493
AND SHE SAID "JOE CARMICHAEL?"
315
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,094
HE TOLD ME HIS NAME WAS JERRY
316
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:17,843
RICE.
317
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,145
HE SAID HIS NAME WAS
318
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,648
HALL OF FAMER, WIDE RECEIVER.
319
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,315
DO YOU KNOW HOW ABSURD THAT IS?
320
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:23,882
I GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS.
321
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:24,550
TJ WON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
322
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,752
DID YOU ACT SURPRISED?
323
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:32,925
WHAT?
324
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:33,759
THERE IS ANOTHER JERRY RICE?
325
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:34,460
LIKE WAS IT ALL A PART OF THE
326
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:34,860
GAME?
327
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:35,694
DID HE GO MY NAME IS JERRY RICE,
328
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:47,840
I KNOW, I KNOW.
329
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:50,442
HE IS A WILD MAN.
330
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:50,876
REALLY OUT THERE.
331
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,046
REALLY, REALLY OUT THERE.
332
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:54,513
JUST HOLDING IT IN.
333
00:16:54,580 --> 00:17:00,419
JUST HOLDING IT ALL IN.
334
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,521
HE HAD DOUBLE OR TRIPLE BYPASS
335
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,355
SURGERY.
336
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:09,361
I GUESS THAT'S WHERE IT WENT.
337
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:12,097
I'M PAYING FOR HIS HEALTH
338
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:19,405
INSURANCE, OKAY?
339
00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:19,905
I MADE HIM TELL MY MOM.
340
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:20,339
IT BECAME TOO MUCH.
341
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,440
YOU KNOW.
342
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:24,243
IT'S A SECRET THAT I THINK I WAS
343
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:25,644
HAPPY KEEPING AS A CHILD BECAUSE
344
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,345
I THOUGHT IT MADE SENSE WITH
345
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:32,885
FAMILY.
346
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:33,419
THOUGHT IT WAS EMBARRASSING,
347
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:38,290
FIRST OF ALL.
348
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,958
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE KNEW
349
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:40,492
BUT MY MOM.
350
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,059
YOU KNOW.
351
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:41,727
AND THAT'S REALLY TOUGH.
352
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:42,795
BECAUSE MY MOM IS VERY SWEET,
353
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:46,231
LOVING, TRUSTING.
354
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:49,635
CHRISTIAN.
355
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:50,803
GOD FEARING WOMAN, TRUSTING HER
356
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:57,342
HUSBAND, STANDING BY HER MAN.
357
00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,879
MY DAD WAS JUST REALLY OUT THER
358
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,117
THERE.
359
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:09,888
I GOT REALLY DRUNK IN LONDON.
360
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:10,589
AND I WAS LIKE THIS IS -- IT'S
361
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:18,263
TIME.
362
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:18,897
I'M GOING TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT
363
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:19,364
IT.
364
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:23,368
AND IT'S HARD.
365
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,404
HE'S A TOUGH MAN.
366
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:30,776
HE KEPT A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN IN
367
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,477
THE CLOSET WITH A LOT OF PORN.
368
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,144
IT'S NOT EASY.
369
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:36,281
I WAS REALLY AFRAID.
370
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:37,049
BUT I REMEMBER STARTING THE CALL
371
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,083
SAYING LISTEN, THIS WILL ALL GO
372
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:38,917
WELL AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LIE TO
373
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,921
ME.
374
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:45,991
AND I WAS JUST ALMOST IN TEARS,
375
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:46,792
JUST SO EMOTIONAL.
376
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:56,835
"I KNOW EVERYTHING, MAN."
377
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:57,469
I KNOW ABOUT BERNITA AND THE
378
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,804
KIDS.
379
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,439
YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?
380
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:01,139
HE ACTUALLY SAID "I ALWAYS KNEW
381
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:14,853
YOU WOULD BE THE ONE."
382
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,021
SO I MADE HIM TELL MY MOM.
383
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,456
HE WAITED UNTIL I WAS BACK HOME
384
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:23,829
IN NORTH CAROLINA TO TELL HER.
385
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:24,463
PUSSY.
386
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:28,800
THAT'S THE PUSSY THING TO DO.
387
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:35,941
HE NEEDED THE SUPPORT.
388
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:36,842
HE WAITED UNTIL I WAS HOME.
389
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,943
HIS BIG PLAN TO TELL MY MOM.
390
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:44,950
I WILL TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER.
391
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,653
I'M GONNA STAY HOME.
392
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,154
YOU BRING HER BACK FROM DINNER.
393
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,256
DROP HER OFF.
394
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,125
SHE COMES IN THE HOUSE, AND I'M
395
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:59,231
GOING TO TELL HER, OKAY?
396
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,867
LIKE HIDING.
397
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:08,740
BUT I WENT ALONG WITH IT.
398
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,410
THAT DINNER WAS THE WORST DINNER
399
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:12,377
I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE
400
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,812
LIFE.
401
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:14,646
WE TOOK MY MOM TO A HIBACHI
402
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:15,280
RESTAURANT.
403
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,048
EARLIER THAT DAY, I HAD TAKEN MY
404
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:16,615
NIECES TO SEE THE "TROLLS"
405
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:22,854
MOVIE.
406
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,357
MOVIES WITH MY NIECES, IT'S THE
407
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,993
BEST.
408
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,261
THEY'RE NOT MY KIDS, SO I CAN
409
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,996
JUST GET HIGH AND DO FUN SHIT
410
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,999
WITH THEM.
411
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:39,905
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN IT.
412
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:46,044
THE PREMISE IS THAT THERE ARE
413
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:46,712
SINGING AND ALL TYPES OF SHIT.
414
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:47,813
SOMETHING DEVASTATING HAPPENS TO
415
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:48,647
THEM.
416
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:49,448
THEY LOSE ALL OF THEIR COLOR.
417
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,149
AND I REMEMBER THINKING THAT THE
418
00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:52,618
WHOLE DINNER, LOOKING AT MY MOM,
419
00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,753
JUST LOOKING IN HER EYES, GOING
420
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:58,357
SHE'S GOING TO LOSE HER COLOR.
421
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,759
IT WAS REALLY, REALLY SCARY.
422
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:01,927
MIND YOU, ALL THAT'S HAPPENING
423
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:06,765
AT A HIBACHI GRILL.
424
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:10,902
I'M LOOKING IN HER EYES, BUT
425
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:14,873
THERE'S LIKE A FLAME.
426
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,943
LIKE JUGGLING SALT-AND-PEPPER.
427
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,278
OKAY, MY MOM IS ABOUT TO BE
428
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,547
FUCKING DESTROYED, BUT GREAT
429
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:26,251
TRICK.
430
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:30,188
I GET MAD WHEN I DON'T GET A
431
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:31,490
JAPANESE CHEF.
432
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:35,160
SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE...
433
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,963
NOT TOO MANY JAPANESE CHEF'S OUT
434
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:45,737
THERE NORTH CAROLINA.
435
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,573
I BROUGHT HER HOME.
436
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,309
I DROPPED HER OFF.
437
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:55,247
WENT TO MY BROTHERS HOUSE.
438
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:58,417
AND WE WAITED BY THE PHONE.
439
00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:58,950
VERY, VERY ANXIOUSLY.
440
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,019
ME AND MY BROTHER AND
441
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:01,353
SISTER-IN-LAW.
442
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,587
JUST WAITED.
443
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:08,260
REALLY NERVOUS.
444
00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:13,699
AND THEN MY MOM CALLED.
445
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:14,900
AND YOU COULD HEAR IN HER VOICE
446
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,702
THAT SHE HAD BEEN CRYING.
447
00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:20,205
AND I WILL NEVER FORGET.
448
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,708
SHE JUST SAID, HER FIRST WORDS
449
00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:23,041
WERE I'M OKAY.
450
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,344
I'M OKAY.
451
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:30,048
AND HE TOLD HER.
452
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:30,615
BEGGED FOR HER FORGIVENESS.
453
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,250
SHE FORGIVE HIM.
454
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:38,690
SHE STAYED.
455
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:42,394
KIND OF ANTICLIMACTIC.
456
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:43,595
SHE ACTUALLY MADE HIM BREAKFAST
457
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:44,029
THE NEXT MORNING.
458
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:47,332
I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT FACT.
459
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:50,635
MOSTLY BECAUSE IT IS AN
460
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,003
EMBARRASSING FACT TO ADMIT, IT
461
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:52,804
IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THE STORY
462
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,308
WOULD PLAY OUT.
463
00:22:56,374 --> 00:23:00,278
SOMEHOW WORSE.
464
00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:03,148
BUT IT WAS OUT IN THE OPEN.
465
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:07,385
AND ONCE THAT WAS DONE, I WAS
466
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:11,857
LEFT ALONE FEELING LIKE A LIAR.
467
00:23:11,923 --> 00:23:15,060
BECAUSE I HAD A SECRET.
468
00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:17,329
ONE THAT I HAD KEPT FROM MY
469
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:17,996
MOTHER.
470
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:18,263
MY FATHER.
471
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:21,500
MY FAMILY.
472
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,501
FRIENDS.
473
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:28,140
FROM YOU.
474
00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:35,881
PROFESSIONALLY, PERSONALLY.
475
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:47,225
IN THE SECRET IS THAT I AM GAY.
476
00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:53,799
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
477
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:54,232
>> WE LOVE YOU!
478
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:56,902
WE LOVE YOU!
479
00:23:56,968 --> 00:24:01,039
>> Jerrod: NO, NO, IT MEANS A
480
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:01,473
LOT.
481
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:02,574
I AM EXCEPTING THE LOVE.
482
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:05,744
I APPRECIATE IT.
483
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:10,148
MY KIND OF EGO WANTS TO REBEL
484
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:13,151
AGAINST IT, YOU KNOW.
485
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:13,718
YOU CLAP.
486
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:14,753
YOU ARE VERY SWEET AND VERY
487
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:14,953
KIND.
488
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:24,596
I APPRECIATE IT.
489
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:29,768
PART OF ME WANTS TO BE LIKE I'M
490
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:31,203
FUCKING GAY, NOT RETARDED.
491
00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:32,838
I CAN FEEL IT.
492
00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:34,272
THERE'S A LOT THAT HAPPENS
493
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:35,040
COMING OUT.
494
00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:36,708
LIKE I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, I
495
00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:44,583
KNOW SOME OF Y'ALL, YOU'RE LIKE
496
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,652
WE ARE AT A GAY SHOW, BRO?
497
00:24:47,719 --> 00:24:50,255
THIS IS ON HBO.
498
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:54,626
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NIGGAS JUST
499
00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:56,728
TURNED THE TV OFF, SAYING TO
500
00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:59,030
THEIR GIRLFRIEND WE'VE GOT TO
501
00:24:59,097 --> 00:24:59,798
WATCH SOMETHING ELSE?
502
00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:08,273
SOME OF YOU FELT IT.
503
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,341
THAT'S OKAY.
504
00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:09,641
THAT'S OKAY.
505
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:10,976
I GET IT.
506
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:12,811
I CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS.
507
00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:17,015
>> LOVE YOU!
508
00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:22,153
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
509
00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:22,721
>> Jerrod: I WANT TO ACCEPT
510
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,556
THAT.
511
00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:26,958
>>> COME YOU SHED.
512
00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,293
>> Jerrod: IT FEELS LIKE I DID
513
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:34,532
NOT EARN IT.
514
00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:34,866
WHAT DID I DO?
515
00:25:34,933 --> 00:25:43,241
SOCK A DOMINICAN DUDE'S DICK.
516
00:25:43,308 --> 00:25:44,643
I REALLY DID, BRO.
517
00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:45,944
MY WHOLE LIFE.
518
00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:49,314
I NEVER THOUGHT -- I DID NOT
519
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,883
THINK I WOULD EVER, EVER COME
520
00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:53,051
OUT.
521
00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:57,522
I PROBABLY -- ONCE IN MY LIFE, I
522
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,724
THOUGHT I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN
523
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:00,625
CONFRONT THE TRUTH.
524
00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:03,128
ACTUALLY SAY TO PEOPLE BECAUSE I
525
00:26:03,194 --> 00:26:07,432
KNOW IT CHANGES PEOPLE'S -- SOME
526
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,634
PEOPLE, IT CHANGES THEIR
527
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,068
PERCEPTION OF ME.
528
00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:13,805
I CAN'T CONTROL THAT.
529
00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:17,876
YOU KNOW, FROM AN ENVIRONMENT
530
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:21,146
WHERE I'M KIND OF RAISED TO THE
531
00:26:21,212 --> 00:26:22,914
MAN.
532
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:32,624
WHATEVER THAT MEANS.
533
00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:35,560
YOU DON'T SEE OLD LADIES LOOKING
534
00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:42,300
OUT LIKE A TODDLER, LOOK AT HIS
535
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:42,534
CHEEKS.
536
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:53,912
I BET HE'S GOING TO BE A TOP.
537
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:56,014
YO.
538
00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:57,515
YO, I FEEL YOU, BRO.
539
00:26:57,582 --> 00:27:04,389
I FEEL YOU, BRO.
540
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,725
LOOKING AT ME LIKE YO, I'M
541
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:15,133
REALLY GAY.
542
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,337
IT'S SHOCKING TO ME TOO.
543
00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:22,073
YOU KNOW.
544
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,576
IT'S FUCKED UP ALL OF MY
545
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:25,944
RELATIONSHIPS.
546
00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:30,882
TALKING TO EACH OTHER LIKE MEN.
547
00:27:30,949 --> 00:27:34,419
I HAVE TO SAY SHIT LIKE I WANT
548
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:48,633
TO SUCK YOUR DICK, BRO.
549
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:49,034
I FEEL YOU.
550
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,569
I FEEL YOU.
551
00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:54,606
I'VE GOT MOSTLY STRAIGHT
552
00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:54,839
FRIENDS.
553
00:27:54,906 --> 00:27:57,042
THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT
554
00:27:57,108 --> 00:27:58,576
SHIT.
555
00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:01,613
MY HOMEBOYS, ONE OF MY
556
00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,048
BEST FRIENDS, ONE OF MY
557
00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:04,582
BEST FRIENDS, I LET HIM SLEEP ON
558
00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:05,784
MY COUCH WHEN HE NEEDED IT.
559
00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:08,186
I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM.
560
00:28:08,253 --> 00:28:12,457
HE TOLD ME HE FELT LIKE HE WAS
561
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,659
TRICKED INTO HAVING A GAY
562
00:28:14,726 --> 00:28:15,727
BEST FRIEND.
563
00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:16,795
HE SAID I WOULD HAVE NEVER
564
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:22,634
SIGNED UP FOR THIS.
565
00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:26,471
I SAID NIGGA, YOU OWE ME
566
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:35,580
$80,000.
567
00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:37,415
YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT THE LOVE,
568
00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:37,582
MAN.
569
00:28:37,649 --> 00:28:40,985
I NEED THE LOVE.
570
00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,521
I NEED IT.
571
00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:47,058
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
572
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:51,196
I'M REALLY OUT HERE LYING,
573
00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:52,931
THOUGH.
574
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,499
HERE'S THE THING.
575
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:55,567
I CAME OUT TOO LATE.
576
00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:59,671
LIKE A LITTLE TOO LATE.
577
00:28:59,737 --> 00:29:01,239
THAT "IT GETS BETTER" SHIT IS
578
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,608
FOR THE KIDS.
579
00:29:03,675 --> 00:29:05,143
I'M AN OLD MAN.
580
00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:07,212
NOBODY WANTS THAT SHIT.
581
00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:09,314
ALL MY FRIENDS JUST FELT LIKE I
582
00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,849
WAS DUPLICITOUS, I WAS JUST
583
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:11,382
LYING TO THEM.
584
00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:13,985
THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS.
585
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,187
THEY ALL REACTED LIKE SALLY
586
00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:19,357
FIELD AND "MRS. DOUBT FIRE."
587
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,658
LIKE "THE WHOLE TIME?
588
00:29:20,725 --> 00:29:27,999
THE WHOLE TIME?"
589
00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:28,766
IT CLEARED UP MY RELATIONSHIP
590
00:29:28,833 --> 00:29:31,636
WITH ALL OF MY HOME GIRLS.
591
00:29:31,703 --> 00:29:34,038
MY FRIEND ASHLEY TOLD ME BEFORE
592
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:35,607
I CAME OUT, SHE COULD SENSE IT.
593
00:29:35,673 --> 00:29:39,878
SHE WAS LIKE PLEASE JUST TELL ME
594
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:43,114
YOUR GAY SO THIS ALL MAKES SENS
595
00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,215
SENSE.
596
00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,783
SOMETIMES YOU LIKE FACE TIME A
597
00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:47,585
WOMAN TO SEE IF YOUR OUTFIT
598
00:29:47,652 --> 00:29:52,991
LOOKS OKAY.
599
00:29:53,057 --> 00:29:54,192
THEY WERE THE TOUGHEST.
600
00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:56,161
I WILL TELL YOU.
601
00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,128
BLACK WOMEN WEAR THE TOUGHEST TO
602
00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,797
COME OUT TO YOU BUT ALSO MOST
603
00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:00,098
SUPPORTIVE.
604
00:30:00,165 --> 00:30:03,735
AND I'M VERY, VERY THANKFUL FOR
605
00:30:03,801 --> 00:30:04,736
ALL OF THE BLACK LADIES IN MY
606
00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:04,936
LIFE.
607
00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:12,844
[APPLAUSE]
608
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:17,682
THEY ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC AT ALL.
609
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,851
THEY ARE RACIST AS A
610
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:29,027
MOTHERFUCKER.
611
00:30:29,093 --> 00:30:31,863
NIGGA, WHAT?
612
00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,600
YOU DATE WHITE BOYS?
613
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:36,067
DON'T ACT SURPRISED.
614
00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:39,671
NO MORE SECRETS.
615
00:30:39,737 --> 00:30:45,810
>> WOW!
616
00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,946
>> Jerrod: YOU HEARD HER SAY
617
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:52,617
"WOW."
618
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,987
MY SISTER IS ON THAT SHIT TOO.
619
00:30:56,054 --> 00:30:57,388
YOU CAN'T -- I'M USED TO IT.
620
00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:59,724
I GREW UP IN THE HOOD.
621
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:04,762
LIKE REAL, STRONG SHIT.
622
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:04,963
LOOK.
623
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,098
I WILL SAY THIS.
624
00:31:07,165 --> 00:31:10,368
I ACTUALLY THINK THAT IT'S
625
00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,003
IMPORTANT TO SAY THIS.
626
00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:15,974
I BELIEVE IN BLACK FAMILY.
627
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,508
I THINK BLACK MEN SHOULD MARRY
628
00:31:17,575 --> 00:31:20,778
BLACK WOMEN, HAVE BLACK BABIES,
629
00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:23,681
AND RAISE THEM TO BE SMART, JUST
630
00:31:23,748 --> 00:31:28,486
GOOD CITIZENS EDUCATED.
631
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,555
100%.
632
00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:35,426
I THINK GAY BLACK MEN SHOULD BE
633
00:31:35,493 --> 00:31:40,098
ABLE TO FUCK WHOEVER THEY WANT.
634
00:31:40,164 --> 00:31:46,804
NO BLACK BABIES.
635
00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:48,406
IT'S ALL GETTING FLUSHED.
636
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,308
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
637
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:55,780
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
638
00:31:55,847 --> 00:32:00,118
THE BLACK GIRLS, THEY TRY.
639
00:32:00,184 --> 00:32:02,320
THEY WILL IGNORE THAT HE IS
640
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:02,954
WHITE.
641
00:32:03,021 --> 00:32:04,188
WHENEVER I SEND A PICTURE TO MY
642
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:07,792
HOMEGIRL, TIFFANY, SHE'S LIKE
643
00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:09,894
THAT'S PRETTY.
644
00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:14,599
LOOK AT THE SKIN.
645
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:25,243
MY VANILLA KING.
646
00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:29,847
>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
647
00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:40,124
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
648
00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:41,326
>> Jerrod: NOW YOU GUYS ARE
649
00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:51,869
TOO MUCH LIKE MY FAMILY.
650
00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:52,170
IT'S A LOT.
651
00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,305
IT'S A LOT.
652
00:32:54,372 --> 00:33:01,312
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR THIS MOMEN
653
00:33:01,379 --> 00:33:07,485
MOMENT.
654
00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:10,455
MY BROTHER TEXTED ME EARLIER
655
00:33:10,521 --> 00:33:13,057
TODAY.
656
00:33:13,124 --> 00:33:17,662
HE SAID I'M MISSING MY FIRST
657
00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:20,798
SPECIAL TAPING, BUT I KNOW IT'S
658
00:33:20,865 --> 00:33:21,065
NECESSARY.
659
00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:22,567
I LOVE YOU.
660
00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:25,136
THAT'S VERY SWEET.
661
00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:25,436
I LOVE HIM.
662
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:28,306
HE'S THERE FOR ME AS MUCH AS HE
663
00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:31,609
CAN BE.
664
00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:32,744
IT'S NOT -- HE TRIES.
665
00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:35,246
HE TRIES, AND I LOVE HIM.
666
00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:35,880
I LOVE HIM A LOT.
667
00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:37,949
I LOVE JOE SO MUCH.
668
00:33:38,015 --> 00:33:41,853
HE IS ALL I GOT IN A LOT OF
669
00:33:41,919 --> 00:33:43,955
THIS.
670
00:33:44,021 --> 00:33:45,256
YOU KNOW.
671
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:50,194
I WISH YOU WOULD TRY HARDER.
672
00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:51,396
A LITTLE BIT MAD.
673
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:52,463
HE IS MY BIG BROTHER.
674
00:33:52,530 --> 00:34:00,938
HE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME.
675
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:03,775
HE LOVES ME, DESPITE.
676
00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:04,876
THAT'S THE THING.
677
00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:06,911
IT'S A LITTLE CONDESCENDING, YOU
678
00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:07,111
KNOW.
679
00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:10,915
IT IS LOVE WITH AN ASTERISK.
680
00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:14,685
I'M NOT INTO THAT GAY SHIT, BUT
681
00:34:14,752 --> 00:34:17,555
I LOVE YOU.
682
00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:18,423
YOU KNOW.
683
00:34:18,489 --> 00:34:20,625
I CAN FEEL THE DISTANCE BETWEEN
684
00:34:20,691 --> 00:34:21,826
US.
685
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:25,663
AND I HATE THAT BECAUSE I DON'T
686
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:26,197
WANT THAT.
687
00:34:26,264 --> 00:34:28,633
IT MAKES ME FEEL UNWANTED.
688
00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,700
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THERE'S
689
00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:32,236
SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.
690
00:34:32,303 --> 00:34:36,207
IT'S LIKE HE'S LOOKING DOWN ON
691
00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:41,112
ME.
692
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:45,383
IT'S ESPECIALLY HURTFUL JUST
693
00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:47,218
BECAUSE I MAKE SO MUCH MORE
694
00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:56,093
MONEY THAN THIS NIGGA.
695
00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:01,566
IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.
696
00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:02,733
I DON'T WANT TO BE GROSS AND
697
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,970
TALK ABOUT MONEY, BUT THE
698
00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:09,173
DIFFERENCE IS MILLIONS AND
699
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,343
MILLIONS.
700
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,912
I LOVE MY BROTHER A LOT.
701
00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:18,916
HE'S A NICE GUY.
702
00:35:18,983 --> 00:35:20,084
NICE.
703
00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:24,222
I'M SAYING THAT -- HE HAS FIVE
704
00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:24,422
KIDS.
705
00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:25,523
WHO I LOVE.
706
00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:27,191
A LOT.
707
00:35:27,258 --> 00:35:29,393
A LOT.
708
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:32,430
MY NIECES MEAN A LOT TO ME.
709
00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:39,937
MY OLDEST NIECE, SHE'S 14 NOW.
710
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,607
AND I LOVE -- I LIKE TALKING TO
711
00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:43,140
HER.
712
00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:43,608
SHE'S SO SMART.
713
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:51,983
AND REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
714
00:35:52,049 --> 00:35:57,221
AND ALL OF -- I HAVE A
715
00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:59,957
5-YEAR-OLD NIECE AND 4-YEAR-OLD
716
00:36:00,024 --> 00:36:00,758
TWIN NIECES.
717
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:01,926
I LOVE THEM.
718
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,461
I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH THEM
719
00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:04,829
BECAUSE I'M NOT HIDING ANYTHING
720
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:05,429
WHEN I'M WITH THEM.
721
00:36:05,496 --> 00:36:09,066
I'M JUST WITH THEM.
722
00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:14,138
JUST EATING ICE CREAM.
723
00:36:14,205 --> 00:36:21,579
THEY ARE EASY TO TALK ABOUT.
724
00:36:21,646 --> 00:36:24,549
IT IS HARDER WITH THE OLDER ONE
725
00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:25,850
ONES.
726
00:36:25,917 --> 00:36:30,988
I CAME OUT TO MY DAD.
727
00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:33,391
AGAIN.
728
00:36:33,457 --> 00:36:35,493
I SAY IT AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE
729
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:35,960
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
730
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,094
I HAVE TO REMIND HIM.
731
00:36:37,161 --> 00:36:40,364
I HAVE TO RE-UP.
732
00:36:40,431 --> 00:36:43,701
THERE IS A PART OF HIM THAT LIKE
733
00:36:43,768 --> 00:36:45,369
SET I CAME OUT.
734
00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:47,238
I DON'T THINK HE NECESSARILY
735
00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:49,073
WANTS A GAY SON, BUT HE LIKES
736
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:52,944
THAT ME TA COMING OUT TAKE SOMEF
737
00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:54,378
THE HEAT OFF OF HIM.
738
00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:58,616
WHEN HE FIRST FOUND OUT, HE IS
739
00:36:58,683 --> 00:37:00,651
LIKE OH, NO, IT'S COOL.
740
00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:02,486
I FUCKED UP.
741
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:08,392
YOU FUCKED UP.
742
00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:10,695
[LAUGHTER]
743
00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:14,966
MY FATHER'S DREAM IS THAT I AM
744
00:37:15,032 --> 00:37:15,533
BI.
745
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:16,000
THAT'S ALL HE WANTS.
746
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:18,569
THAT'S REALLY ALL HE WANTS.
747
00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:20,705
THERE IS THE HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE
748
00:37:20,771 --> 00:37:22,039
ON THE HORIZON THAT I AM STILL
749
00:37:22,106 --> 00:37:27,745
GETTING PUSSY.
750
00:37:27,812 --> 00:37:28,946
HE IS PROBABLY ACTUALLY
751
00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:31,015
DISAPPOINTED IN BOTH ME AND MY
752
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:31,349
BROTHER.
753
00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:35,920
HE IS PROBABLY LOOKING AT US
754
00:37:35,987 --> 00:37:38,823
LIKE WAGE, SO YOU GAY, AND YOU
755
00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:48,199
ONLY FUCK YOUR WIFE?
756
00:37:48,265 --> 00:37:54,438
I TOLD MY DAD, I SAID I KNOW TWO
757
00:37:54,505 --> 00:37:57,441
THINGS FOR EFFECT.
758
00:37:57,508 --> 00:38:02,680
I WILL NEVER BE AN ASTRONAUT.
759
00:38:02,747 --> 00:38:05,750
AND I AM A GAY MAN.
760
00:38:05,816 --> 00:38:06,617
AND YOU KNOW WHAT MY FATHER
761
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:09,220
SAID?
762
00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:12,490
HE SAID DON'T GIVE UP ON THE
763
00:38:12,556 --> 00:38:37,982
MOON, SON.
764
00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:42,453
I HID IT FROM MY MOM.
765
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:53,030
I WAS AFRAID THAT HER REACTION
766
00:38:53,097 --> 00:38:59,570
WOULD BE TO JUST GO INSIDE.
767
00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:01,405
I LOVE -- I LOVE HER A LOT.
768
00:39:01,472 --> 00:39:05,142
I LOVE HER DEARLY.
769
00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:07,545
AND I'M TRYING TO DESCRIBE HER
770
00:39:07,611 --> 00:39:09,613
WITHOUT SOUNDING CLICHE.
771
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:10,214
DESCRIBE THE LOVE THAT I HAVE
772
00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:11,348
FOR HER.
773
00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:15,052
I REALLY FEEL LIKE I WAS ONE OF
774
00:39:15,119 --> 00:39:17,555
HER CLOSEST FRIENDS.
775
00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:18,189
I FEEL LIKE I ALWAYS LOOKED OUT
776
00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:22,393
FOR HER.
777
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:29,734
I REMEMBER ON THE CALL LAST TIME
778
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:30,801
I TALKED ABOUT BEING GAY WITH MY
779
00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:40,911
MOM, SHE SAID I CAN'T GO AGAINST
780
00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:41,112
JESUS.
781
00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:44,749
THAT BOTHERS ME.
782
00:39:44,815 --> 00:39:45,382
AND I GET IT.
783
00:39:45,449 --> 00:39:52,623
I GET IT BECAUSE SHE'S...
784
00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:55,226
SHE'S DOING THE BEST SHE CAN.
785
00:39:55,292 --> 00:39:55,493
YOU KNOW.
786
00:39:55,559 --> 00:40:03,400
I THINK.
787
00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:04,635
SHE'S TRYING TO ACCEPT -- I
788
00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:06,604
DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO
789
00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:06,804
DO.
790
00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:11,041
I THINK SHE IS TO ACCEPT IT.
791
00:40:11,108 --> 00:40:13,944
PART OF ME KNOWS SHE IS LIKE AT
792
00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:16,247
HOME, TRYING TO PRAY THE GAY
793
00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:22,019
AWAY.
794
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:25,890
ANYTIME I DON'T MATCH WITH THE
795
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:35,733
DUDE.
796
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,967
I FEEL IT TOO.
797
00:40:37,034 --> 00:40:39,036
I FEEL IT TOO.
798
00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:43,741
YOU KNOW, IT FUCKS WITH ME
799
00:40:43,808 --> 00:40:44,708
BECAUSE THIS IS A RELIGION I
800
00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:45,376
STILL BELIEVE IN.
801
00:40:45,442 --> 00:40:47,578
I'M STILL A CHRISTIAN.
802
00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:47,978
IT'S TAKEN A LOT.
803
00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:51,415
IT'S TAKEN A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE I
804
00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,717
HAVE HAD TO RECONFIGURE GOD AND
805
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:56,086
WHAT GOD IS AND WHAT IT MEANS.
806
00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:58,389
IN ORDER TO ACCEPT MY SOUL.
807
00:40:58,455 --> 00:40:58,756
KIND OF REBUILD.
808
00:40:58,823 --> 00:41:09,500
AND WITH MY MOM, SORRY.
809
00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:16,273
IT'S NOT REALLY -- IT'S KIND OF
810
00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:17,041
HAPPENING.
811
00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:25,049
IT'S NOT TOTALLY WORKED OUT.
812
00:41:25,115 --> 00:41:26,984
SHE'S...
813
00:41:27,051 --> 00:41:33,524
I THINK SHE'S -- SHE THINKS NOT
814
00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:36,727
REACTING IS THE BEST REACTION.
815
00:41:36,794 --> 00:41:38,195
I THINK SHE'S BEEN REWARDED.
816
00:41:38,262 --> 00:41:41,966
SHE'S BEEN REWARDED FOR STAYING
817
00:41:42,032 --> 00:41:42,166
QUIET.
818
00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:44,935
LIKE WITH HER DAD.
819
00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:51,208
SO SHE GIVES ME NOTHING.
820
00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:51,876
EVEN HATE.
821
00:41:51,942 --> 00:41:54,478
EVEN HATE STARTS TO FEEL LIKE
822
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:56,580
LOVE BECAUSE THAT'S
823
00:41:56,647 --> 00:41:58,215
ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
824
00:41:58,282 --> 00:41:59,083
IT'S NOT JUST NICE.
825
00:41:59,149 --> 00:41:59,483
IT'S NOT PLEASANT.
826
00:41:59,550 --> 00:42:01,452
BUT IT'S REAL.
827
00:42:01,518 --> 00:42:05,189
AND THAT FEELS -- I THINK THAT
828
00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:07,691
WOULD FEEL BETTER.
829
00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:10,527
I WISH SHE WOULD YELL AT ME.
830
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:11,228
I WISH SHE WOULD TELL ME TO NOT
831
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:16,734
COME HOME.
832
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,636
ONCE SHE CALLS ME A FAGGOT LIKE
833
00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:20,604
MY UNCLE DID.
834
00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:25,743
IT HURT MY FEELINGS, BUT I WAS
835
00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:39,823
LIKE NIGGA, YOUR NAMED JUNE BUG.
836
00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:40,090
ANYTHING.
837
00:42:40,157 --> 00:42:41,926
ANYTHING.
838
00:42:41,992 --> 00:42:53,904
ANYTHING.
839
00:42:53,971 --> 00:43:00,878
SHE'S NICE.
840
00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:04,481
SHE'S SWEET.
841
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:09,086
SHE IGNORES IT.
842
00:43:09,153 --> 00:43:15,059
THE WORST OF HER IS COLD.
843
00:43:15,125 --> 00:43:15,726
REALLY, REALLY COLD.
844
00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:18,329
I MEAN, SHE'S A NICE LADY, BUT
845
00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:25,102
THERE'S A PART OF HER THAT'S
846
00:43:25,169 --> 00:43:27,404
REALLY -- SHE CAN SHUT PEOPLE
847
00:43:27,471 --> 00:43:27,938
OUT TO GET SHE CAN IGNORE.
848
00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:32,977
SHE CAN BLOCK.
849
00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:36,613
>> BUT YOU GAVE YOURSELF SO MANY
850
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:36,814
YEARS.
851
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,448
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER SOME
852
00:43:37,514 --> 00:43:37,681
TIME.
853
00:43:37,748 --> 00:43:38,782
>> Jerrod: I WOULD LOVE TO
854
00:43:38,849 --> 00:43:41,151
GIVE HER ALL OF THE TIME IN THE
855
00:43:41,218 --> 00:43:47,958
WORLD.
856
00:43:48,025 --> 00:43:48,692
JUST IN GENERAL, YOU KNOW, ONE
857
00:43:48,759 --> 00:43:53,964
OF HER BIGGEST FEARS, HER
858
00:43:54,031 --> 00:43:55,632
PARENTS FUNERAL, JUST THE
859
00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,701
THOUGHT OF ONE OF THEM DYING
860
00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:01,338
WITHOUT SAYING EVERYTHING.
861
00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:01,605
YOU KNOW.
862
00:44:01,672 --> 00:44:10,514
WITHOUT EXPRESSING AT ALL.
863
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:13,150
MY MOM IS IN HER EARLY 60s.
864
00:44:13,217 --> 00:44:18,689
SHE HAS TIME.
865
00:44:18,756 --> 00:44:20,157
I STILL JUST DON'T KNOW IF
866
00:44:20,224 --> 00:44:24,495
THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE CHANGE.
867
00:44:24,561 --> 00:44:24,928
LIKE MAYBE.
868
00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:25,562
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE PART OF
869
00:44:25,629 --> 00:44:27,965
ME FEELS LIKE IT IS LIKE TELLING
870
00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:32,736
A JOKE, BUT PART OF IT, ASKING
871
00:44:32,803 --> 00:44:33,771
MY MOM TO CHANGE, YOU EVER SEE
872
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:38,642
LIKE A 90-YEAR-OLD GET A COLLEGE
873
00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:43,914
DEGREE?
874
00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:47,918
YOU'RE LIKE BITCH, NOW?
875
00:44:47,985 --> 00:44:48,152
OKAY.
876
00:44:48,218 --> 00:44:50,220
OKAY, YEAH.
877
00:44:50,287 --> 00:44:52,756
GOOD LUCK IN THE FUCKING JOB
878
00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:58,662
MARKET.
879
00:44:58,729 --> 00:45:01,932
LIKE I DON'T WANT -- IT'S NOT
880
00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:03,700
THAT I DON'T HAVE HOPE FOR
881
00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:04,334
CHANGE, BUT I THINK EVEN WHEN
882
00:45:04,401 --> 00:45:08,072
SHE WAS YOUNG, THERE IS A PART
883
00:45:08,138 --> 00:45:10,941
OF MY MOM THAT'S VERY, VERY COL
884
00:45:11,008 --> 00:45:17,314
COLD.
885
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:22,920
MY -- MY LAST REAL SECRET IS
886
00:45:22,986 --> 00:45:30,194
THAT I AM NICE.
887
00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:30,360
NO.
888
00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:33,597
LIKE MY MOM.
889
00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:36,233
VERY SELFISH.
890
00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:39,903
VERY, VERY, VERY SELFISH.
891
00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,105
I SMILED.
892
00:45:41,171 --> 00:45:43,740
I'M VERY POLITE ABOUT IT.
893
00:45:43,807 --> 00:45:45,275
I LIE TO EVERYBODY'S FACE.
894
00:45:45,342 --> 00:45:52,816
NOW, WE SHOULD GET DINNER.
895
00:45:52,883 --> 00:45:54,885
YOU KNOW.
896
00:45:54,952 --> 00:45:55,652
LIES.
897
00:45:55,719 --> 00:46:04,194
YOU CAN'T JUST GO I'M AFRAID.
898
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:04,595
JUST LIKE MY MOM.
899
00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:08,332
THAT PERFORMANCE.
900
00:46:08,398 --> 00:46:08,665
NOT SMILING.
901
00:46:08,732 --> 00:46:13,937
I SMILE A LOT.
902
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:28,218
I FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T SMILE --
903
00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:32,823
I KNOW.
904
00:46:32,890 --> 00:46:36,226
I'M AFRAID OF THINGS -- I'M
905
00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:43,867
AFRAID OF THINGS GETTING...
906
00:46:43,934 --> 00:46:49,606
AWKWARD.
907
00:46:49,673 --> 00:46:54,411
LIKE WEIRD.
908
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:58,015
LIKE EVEN THIS MOMENT, I'M LIKE
909
00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:07,524
THINK OF A JOKE.
910
00:47:07,591 --> 00:47:10,127
>> DO YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T TELL
911
00:47:10,194 --> 00:47:11,995
HER?
912
00:47:12,062 --> 00:47:17,034
>> Jerrod: NO.
913
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,168
NO.
914
00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:19,002
I STAYED IN THE CLOSET FOR A
915
00:47:19,069 --> 00:47:21,238
LONG TIME.
916
00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:23,106
I THINK BECAUSE OF MY MOM.
917
00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:28,679
I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T WANT TO DO
918
00:47:28,745 --> 00:47:38,388
TO HER, SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
919
00:47:38,455 --> 00:47:42,526
BUT AS MUCH AS SHE BELIEVES IN
920
00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:47,464
GOD, I BELIEVE IN PERSONAL
921
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,032
GROWTH.
922
00:47:49,099 --> 00:47:50,867
AND FEELING FREE.
923
00:47:50,934 --> 00:47:54,004
I FEEL FREER.
924
00:47:54,071 --> 00:48:06,550
[APPLAUSE]
925
00:48:06,617 --> 00:48:14,024
YOU SAY THINGS, YOU KNOW, AT
926
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:14,791
TIMES YOU GROW, YOU GOT TO LEAVE
927
00:48:14,858 --> 00:48:20,097
PEOPLE BEHIND.
928
00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:21,965
PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A
929
00:48:22,032 --> 00:48:22,899
REASON OR A SEASON, THE KIND OF
930
00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:30,173
CLICHE SAYINGS.
931
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:30,841
IT'S HARD WHEN THAT PERSON IS
932
00:48:30,907 --> 00:48:45,922
YOUR MOM.
933
00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:46,623
>> I THINK A LOT OF THAT GUILT
934
00:48:46,690 --> 00:48:49,960
IS YOUR DAD.
935
00:48:50,027 --> 00:48:52,429
>> Jerrod: I THINK I CARRY --
936
00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:57,701
I CARRY SOME GUILT -- I THINK
937
00:48:57,768 --> 00:49:04,741
BECAUSE I WAS COMPLICIT.
938
00:49:04,808 --> 00:49:08,679
IN THE LINE, I GUESS.
939
00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:11,548
I THOUGHT I WAS PROTECTING HER.
940
00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:14,451
I ALWAYS FELT LIKE A PROTECTOR.
941
00:49:14,518 --> 00:49:22,025
I ALWAYS FELT LIKE -- I'M TRYING
942
00:49:22,092 --> 00:49:22,392
TO EXPLAIN THIS.
943
00:49:22,459 --> 00:49:27,030
I ALWAYS FELT LIKE THE
944
00:49:27,097 --> 00:49:29,266
MATERIAL -- I ALWAYS FELT LIKE
945
00:49:29,333 --> 00:49:35,339
THE RESULT OF HER PRAYERS...
946
00:49:35,405 --> 00:49:40,377
MY MOM, ONE OF HER FAVORITE
947
00:49:40,444 --> 00:49:46,183
BIBLE VERSES IS "ASK ME, AND I
948
00:49:46,249 --> 00:49:55,092
WILL TELL YOU."
949
00:49:55,158 --> 00:49:56,960
>> DO YOU THINK WITHOUT YOUR
950
00:49:57,027 --> 00:49:59,029
MOM'S APPROVAL, YOU WILL BE
951
00:49:59,096 --> 00:50:01,198
OKAY?
952
00:50:01,264 --> 00:50:03,166
EVENTUALLY.
953
00:50:03,233 --> 00:50:04,167
>> Jerrod: I THINK WITHOUT MY
954
00:50:04,234 --> 00:50:13,977
MOM'S APPROVAL, I THINK -- I
955
00:50:14,044 --> 00:50:16,646
LIKE TO BELIEVE I WILL BE OKAY.
956
00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:19,916
I SPENT A LOT OF TIME TRYING TO
957
00:50:19,983 --> 00:50:23,453
SUPPLEMENT THE LOVE.
958
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,488
I AM VERY THANKFUL BECAUSE I
959
00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:26,523
HAVE SOME VERY, VERY GOOD
960
00:50:26,590 --> 00:50:27,023
FRIENDS.
961
00:50:27,090 --> 00:50:32,496
REALLY GOOD PEOPLE WHO ARE THER
962
00:50:32,562 --> 00:50:34,631
THERE.
963
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:38,635
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING THAT I
964
00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,537
SEARCH FOR.
965
00:50:40,604 --> 00:50:43,039
I THINK, I MEAN, THIS IS BETWEEN
966
00:50:43,106 --> 00:50:46,376
ME AND MY MOM.
967
00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:47,010
SOMETIMES WHEN I FEEL THE MOST
968
00:50:47,077 --> 00:50:50,847
LIKE AN ORPHAN.
969
00:50:50,914 --> 00:50:52,482
I FEEL THE PAIN.
970
00:50:52,549 --> 00:51:08,999
AND I'M SORRY.
971
00:51:09,065 --> 00:51:12,302
I'M TRYING TO MAKE JOKES.
972
00:51:12,369 --> 00:51:16,139
I WISH THIS MOMENT WERE NOT SO
973
00:51:16,206 --> 00:51:22,479
WEIRD.
974
00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:24,648
BECAUSE I THINK LIKE MEN, WHAT
975
00:51:24,714 --> 00:51:25,449
DO I WANT FROM HER?
976
00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:37,894
I KNOW SHE WILL SEE THIS.
977
00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:44,034
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
978
00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:49,673
YOU GUYS GOT ANY IDEAS?
979
00:51:49,739 --> 00:51:55,712
NO, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
980
00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:56,680
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE VERY
981
00:51:56,746 --> 00:52:00,383
HONEST.
982
00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:03,487
BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE WAS
983
00:52:03,553 --> 00:52:06,590
SHROUDED IN SECRETS.
984
00:52:06,656 --> 00:52:09,860
AND...
985
00:52:09,926 --> 00:52:13,830
I FIGURED THE ONLY ROUTE I HAVE
986
00:52:13,897 --> 00:52:15,532
IS THE TRUTH.
987
00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:24,808
TO SAY EVERYTHING.
988
00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:44,628
I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR TONIGHT.
989
00:52:44,694 --> 00:52:46,530
ROTHANIEL.
990
00:52:46,596 --> 00:52:52,435
[APPLAUSE]
991
00:52:52,502 --> 00:52:56,706
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
992
00:52:56,773 --> 00:53:10,787
♪ ♪
993
00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:17,861
♪ ♪
994
00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:28,805
♪ ♪
995
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:43,620
♪ ♪
996
00:53:43,687 --> 00:53:58,635
♪ ♪
997
00:53:58,702 --> 00:54:13,750
♪ ♪
998
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:29,132
♪ ♪
999
00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:43,580
♪ ♪
1000
00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:58,528
♪ ♪
1001
00:54:58,595 --> 00:54:59,596
♪ ♪
57235
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