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1
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,530
Huh?
2
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,300
Huh?
3
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,270
Rats!
4
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,410
- Hey, is there someone in the restaurant?
- Oh, yeah.
5
00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:31,680
- Aw, he looks scared.
- Can we keep him? Can we keep him?
6
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,350
No.
7
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,650
We'll name him Bob Number One.
8
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,680
And, Dad, you can just go by
Bob Number Two,
9
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,550
or maybe no name at all.
10
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:41,220
Wait. Why would I be
Bob Number Two or no name?
11
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:43,220
- I am Bob.
- Well, yeah, but this is Bob,
12
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,590
so now we're, like, Bob and Bob.
13
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,690
- I don't like it.
- You can't just name a guy Bob.
14
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:49,560
- Yeah, you can. Somebody did it to you.
- That's true.
15
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,733
Bob Number Two is throwing out
some major 'tude right now.
16
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,340
- Isn't he, though?
- Yeah, lose the 'tude.
17
00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:56,700
It is kind of nice to have
someone in the restaurant. Yeah.
18
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,610
- What's he doing?
- If he's robbing us,
19
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,340
I feel sorry for him.
20
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,510
No r
21
00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:04,480
Maybe he's just looking
for the bathroom.
22
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,180
You're overthinking it, bro!
23
00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:08,220
Just go anywhere!
I'll clean it up!
24
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:09,550
No way.
25
00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:21,200
♪ The Simpsons
26
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:24,430
♪ In Heaven!
27
00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,470
Where is everybody?
28
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,440
Didn't we just build
a whole new mixed-use complex
29
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:32,270
for the baby boomers?
30
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,240
Ugh.
31
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:38,410
I'm just following
the admissions criteria.
32
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,450
Can't we just tweak them a bit?
33
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,220
It's easier to get in
to Upper West Side preschools.
34
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,520
All we're getting up here
are little old ladies
35
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,320
and Promise Keepers.
36
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,690
Have you accepted the Lord?
37
00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,360
I'm here, dimwit.
38
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,330
Frankly, those guys
weird me out.
39
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,700
We have interesting people.
Look, Tracy Morgan's here.
40
00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,700
Tracy, what are you doing here?
41
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:02,140
- You're all better.
- Nobody tells me these things!
42
00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:11,510
- You gonna stop that?
- Eh, it'll stop on its own.
43
00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:14,220
We've got to get
more people in here.
44
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,620
Ned Flanders is about to talk
about that very topic.
45
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:22,260
Do the people my daddy shoots
go to Heaven?
46
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:23,683
They do if they haven't
done anything wrong.
47
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:25,460
So, a lot of them, yes.
48
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,560
Come on, kids, think about it.
Why do people get into Heaven?
49
00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:31,630
♪ Heaven
50
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,440
♪ I'm in heaven
51
00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:39,370
♪ And my heart beats
so that I can hardly speak... ♪
52
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,380
Clayton Kersh...
53
00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:42,680
♪ I seem to find
54
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:46,310
♪ The happiness I seek
55
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:50,650
♪ When we're out together
dancing cheek to cheek ♪
56
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,390
♪ Heaven
57
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:58,430
♪ I'm in heaven
58
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,630
♪ And the cares
that hung around me ♪
59
00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:05,400
♪ Seem to vanish like
a gambler's lucky streak ♪
60
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,540
♪ When we're out together
61
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,340
♪ Dancing cheek to cheek.
62
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:17,250
Well, nobody said Sunday school
kids were geniuses.
63
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,180
Kids, there's only one way
into Heaven.
64
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:22,380
Never stray from
the path of righteousness.
65
00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:23,550
Easy for you to say.
66
00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:26,520
With a mustache like that,
you're an obvious narc.
67
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,620
The truth is,
this mustache is a memento
68
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:31,230
of the awful sinner
I used to be.
69
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:34,500
I was raised with no religion.
Our house was a den of bebop.
70
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,410
Neddy, you're coloring
inside the lines.
71
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,410
Rules are for fools, man!
72
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,240
That's right, baby.
73
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,310
Be free! Be free!
74
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:53,580
Go off the page.
Write on the wall.
75
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,450
Color a cloud purple.
76
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:58,520
Jack and Jill
are on the pill, man!
77
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,460
Godless and Maudeless,
78
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,320
each job I took
became more depraved.
79
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,623
- ♪ Dead end ♪
- ♪ Why we should be
80
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:07,430
- ♪ On dead end street
- ♪ Dead end ♪
81
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:09,400
♪ People are living
on dead end street ♪
82
00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:11,230
♪ Dead end ♪
83
00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:13,640
♪ I'm gonna die
on dead end street ♪
84
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,440
♪ Dead end street
85
00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:16,600
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Dead end street
86
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,640
♪ Yeah ♪
87
00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:19,310
♪ Dead end street.
88
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,440
Finally, I became one of
the most iniquitous men
89
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,650
that ever blew a wrapper off
a straw: door-to-door salesmen.
90
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,650
Now, here's how I move
these Karpet Kings.
91
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,650
I make my pitch, then I start
crying, bawling like a baby.
92
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:34,520
The trick is I'm secretly
clinically depressed.
93
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,390
Haven't thought of that.
94
00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:38,460
Not bad.
95
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,460
Slices of pie all around, Mabel!
96
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,230
So, rookie, your first day.
97
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,470
What do they have you pushing,
water beds?
98
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,400
Well, I am reaching
for the stars
99
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,640
with Vertebreaker trampolines!
100
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,610
- What's so funny?
- They got you slingin' springs!
101
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,480
The kid's a hop jockey.
102
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:58,250
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
103
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,150
I know someone who sold
two of those tot tossers.
104
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,350
In his whole career!
105
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,560
What those
door-to-door ding-dongs
106
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:10,360
didn't count on was a little
extracurricular activity
107
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,290
during Apollo 14.
108
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,430
Whee!
109
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:16,300
Over.
110
00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:18,170
Whee! Over.
111
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,570
America caught bounce fever.
112
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,170
Trampolines were just
what people were looking for
113
00:05:22,210 --> 00:05:25,470
to forget the long quagmirethat was Gunsmoke.
114
00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:27,510
♪
115
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:36,320
Before I knew it,
I was the king of springs.
116
00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:39,350
But after spring comes the fall.
117
00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:41,560
Mabel! A slice of pie
for all my friends!
118
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:43,590
Better yet, leave the tin.
119
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:45,490
- Well!
- Well, how about that!
120
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:47,430
Big man, are ya? Real big man.
121
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:49,660
Well, big man,
I got a headline for ya.
122
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,670
They just found out
those things are a death trap.
123
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,570
Oh, sure, there's broken bones,
concussions,
124
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,270
the occasional kid who goes up
and never comes down,
125
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:59,270
but I wouldn't call them
a death trap.
126
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,340
I mean electrocution, smart guy.
127
00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:03,480
Those little angel makers
you've been slingin'
128
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:06,450
generate static electricity
with every bounce.
129
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,580
The mats are made of birthday
balloon rubber and cat hair.
130
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:14,260
If you get to 500 bounces,
zappo! French-fried kid.
131
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,420
I've put
innocent lives in danger.
132
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,290
And my sales pitch strongly
implied that wouldn't happen.
133
00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:21,160
Eh, that's the game we're in.
134
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,530
If you don't like death,
get out of children's toys.
135
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,240
I've got to stop him!
136
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:32,240
401... 402...
137
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,310
Wow! I knew he could bounce,
138
00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:36,410
but I had no idea
he could count.
139
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:42,280
412... 413...
140
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,190
Oh, the brake pedal
won't go down!
141
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,520
Why did I get these
super shag floor mats? Why?!
142
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,330
495...
143
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,370
496...
144
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,270
497... 498...
145
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:00,800
499...
146
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:24,330
- Jesus.
- 'Sup?
147
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,260
Lord? Why am I here?
148
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,653
Uh, Ned Flanders,
you have been a sinner,
149
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:30,360
but you have taken the first
step on the road to redemption,
150
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,470
and if you accept the word
of the Lord... that's me...
151
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,300
I shall return you to Earth
to carry forth my word of hope.
152
00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,500
And, uh, like that.
153
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,610
Jimi Hendrix is here
for your guitar lesson.
154
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,510
Hey, man. You been practicing
what I told you?
155
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,540
Uh, yeah, uh, I meant to,
156
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:46,510
but, uh, I lost the pick
in the hole.
157
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,480
- Of the guitar?
- Oh. I wish.
158
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,250
I don't care, baby.
Jimi gets paid either way.
159
00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:59,630
Praise the Lord, I am reborn!
160
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,400
It's a miracle!
He recovered without help!
161
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:05,530
In retrospect,
I should have tried CPR.
162
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,400
Well, I'm a believer.
163
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,140
Come on, fellas,
let's go spread the good word.
164
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:13,270
God is alive!
165
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,280
Anyone need a vacuum?
166
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:17,280
God gave me a second chance,
167
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,580
and as a sign of his mercy,
he permanently scarred
168
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:22,220
my beautiful,
beautiful philtrum.
169
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,220
Whoa!
170
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:27,320
And that's why I'm wearing
this mustache till I'm just ash.
171
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,390
It wasn't till God
seriously deformed me
172
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,190
that I fully understood
his love.
173
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,560
So, Ned Flanders
gets into Heaven.
174
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,500
It'll be interesting to see
which wife he goes with.
175
00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:39,400
Eh, either way,
it'll be tough sledding.
176
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:44,140
Well you know Lord, if you want
more people here,
177
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,503
there's a category
you're not considering.
178
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,340
People who bring
their dogs on planes
179
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,710
and say they're therapy pets?
180
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,510
I can hear you.
181
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:53,580
Oh, and nice to meet you,
finally.
182
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,580
So, you made me in your image.
183
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:58,320
Well, it's like
looking in a mirror.
184
00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:00,390
- Not!
- Who did that?
185
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:03,520
- It wasn't me.
- Oh, you traitor!
186
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,190
Actually,
I'm talking about people
187
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,400
who don't believe in God
but are still righteous.
188
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,400
I'm talking about
atheists, Lord.
189
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,570
Atheists?
190
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:14,270
I refuse to believe they exist.
191
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:17,400
Well, they do. Maybe they
deserve a place here, too.
192
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:20,370
I'd like to talk about someone
who should be in Heaven:
193
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,210
my grandmother.
194
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:25,310
My grandmother's 36, and she's
got eight grandchildren.
195
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:26,550
Strong woman.
196
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:29,250
My grandmother was an atheist.
197
00:09:29,350 --> 00:09:31,350
I'll just flip this.
198
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,390
Her name was Genevieve.
199
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,520
She lived in occupied France
200
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,290
in the darkest days
of World War Two.
201
00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:42,360
And she no longer
believed in God.
202
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,370
♪ He's in the afterlife,
punishing heavily ♪
203
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:48,400
♪ He's the boogie woogie
Christian God of John 3:16 ♪
204
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,240
♪ A root, a toot,
just don't eat his fruit ♪
205
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,270
♪ He was born in a barn
206
00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:54,640
♪ He loved religion.
207
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:58,510
How could a god
allow this awful war to happen?
208
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:00,680
I stopped a thousand wars
that would've been worse.
209
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:03,480
Nobody ever talks about that.
210
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:07,650
Perhaps her mélancolie
came from her marriage
211
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:12,490
to the village's most notorious
Nazi collaborator.
212
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,360
Bonjour, bonjour, Commandant!
213
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:18,330
And may I say, you put the "ja"
in "jawohl!"
214
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,530
Ah, my dear wife.
I'm just here collaborating,
215
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,400
mixing in a little treason.
216
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,300
You know, stuff
that'll look really bad
217
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:25,710
in a documentary if we lose.
218
00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:29,410
Now, with business booming, you
can no longer deny your husband
219
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:32,480
the sweet fruits of marriage.
220
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,480
Mmm, oh, yeah, yeah.
221
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:35,750
I'm hooked. Mmm.
222
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:39,590
Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah.
223
00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:43,620
Kissing with your eyes closed
never goes awry. Ever.
224
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,760
Why did I marry the model
for the town gargoyle? Ugh!
225
00:10:49,870 --> 00:10:52,570
Quiet.
226
00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:54,770
Qui est là? Qui! Qui!
227
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:57,470
We're U.S. paratroops.
228
00:10:57,570 --> 00:10:58,763
We've been roaming
the countryside
229
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,710
disguised as French farmers.
230
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:03,540
You must leave now.
My husband is a collaborator.
231
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:05,250
Well, I've got a screenplay
232
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,813
I've been looking for
someone to help me write.
233
00:11:06,820 --> 00:11:08,450
Not that kind.
234
00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:10,627
If he just gets something
on the page, that's progress.
235
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,320
Germans.
236
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,690
We're cooked. Worse than
the Cubs in the '32 Series.
237
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:20,360
I'm not a sports guy.
Do you have an art metaphor?
238
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,530
We'll be chopped up
worse than a Picasso nude!
239
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:25,430
Now my alarm is palpable!
240
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,500
What are you gonna do,
help us or turn us in?
241
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:33,570
Because I don't believe
there is a God above,
242
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,740
we must make our own Heaven
down below.
243
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:37,780
Ah!
244
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,280
Hurry now!
245
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,520
- Do we get tips?
- Not in Europe.
246
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,720
Damn it. Now I know
what we're fighting for.
247
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,420
Quoi?!
248
00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:54,560
Ooh-la-la! Dinner is served.
249
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,400
What an odd accent.
250
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,630
Are you really French?
251
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:59,430
Stinking customers!
252
00:11:59,530 --> 00:12:01,470
You can't ask me
personal questions.
253
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,740
Ah, you are French.
254
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:16,320
American fool.
They'll see right through you.
255
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:17,680
You don't know the first thing
256
00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:19,590
about world-class
dinner service.
257
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:22,420
Now listen here. I know
we may not look like much,
258
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,260
but when a fish knife
needs to be placed just so,
259
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,460
they're the mugs you want.
260
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,500
I am your, um, uh...
261
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,300
How do you say "sommelier"
in French?
262
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,400
Café Meaux. Meaux speaking.
263
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,500
I'd like
to speak to Monsieur Pants,
264
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:38,540
- first name Pierre.
- Un moment.
265
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,280
Pierre Pants? Pierre Pants?!
266
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:45,350
Oh, come on, anyone
in this joint Pee Your Pants?
267
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,350
Heil humor!
268
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,720
Laughing is for Germans only.
269
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,450
Ow!
270
00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:56,460
Now, precisely what part
of France are you from?
271
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,760
Eh... Normandy beach.
272
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,530
You know,
where the invasion's coming.
273
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:02,700
We must warn our Panzers!
274
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,600
We got to stop 'em, but how?
275
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:09,700
Don't ask me. I believe
in nothing, except my country.
276
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:16,340
♪ Allons enfants
de la patrie ♪
277
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:20,610
♪ I. Jour de gloire est arrivé
278
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,320
♪ Contre nous de la tyrannie
279
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:27,690
♪ L'étendard sanglant est levé
280
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:32,360
♪ Ils viennent
jusque dans nos bras ♪
281
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:37,400
♪ Egorger nos fils,
nos compagnes... ♪
282
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,370
Come with me, fraulein,
283
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,270
and everything will be
Nietzsche keen.
284
00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:47,310
You can drink our beer,
you can take our gold,
285
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,540
you can take my wife.
286
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,780
No, you can't!
287
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:53,765
Oh. Well,
the marriage counselor said
288
00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:56,550
we should try to find
a common interest, so, uh...
289
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:03,660
♪ Non, rien de rien
290
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:09,460
♪ Non, je ne regrette rien
291
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,530
♪ Ni le bien.
292
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:17,370
Oh, Meaux, I am so sorry
I ever made you kiss a fish.
293
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:18,670
That was a fish?
294
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,410
But this isn't.
295
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:22,680
Mmm.
296
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:24,680
There's more in the bedroom.
297
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,410
We have a bedroom?
298
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,550
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
299
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:33,590
So, it goes to show atheists
can do great things, too.
300
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,590
All right, I agree.
301
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:39,290
We will open Heaven
to the deserving atheists.
302
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,560
And if you let them in,
there are a few mistakes
303
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,430
I'd recommend getting rid of.
304
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,370
Christopher Columbus.
305
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,600
Hey, what are
you two talking about?
306
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,500
Nothing.
What are you doing here?
307
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,440
I was looking for a quicker
route to the bathroom,
308
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:53,740
and I got lost.
309
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,250
- Oh, it's him.
- Hey, dudes.
310
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,520
Who wants to rub my belly?
311
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:05,530
Now, why don't you consider
other faiths for your Heaven?
312
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:08,400
Like, oh... I don't know...
The way of the Buddha?
313
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,530
I say no shirt, no shoes,
no salvation.
314
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:14,570
I say we have Lisa Simpson.
315
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,440
Well, there is redemption,
and there are good works.
316
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:18,810
But there is another path.
317
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:23,380
A path to enlightenment
without ego or possessions.
318
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,380
I don't know.
Jesus is pretty fond
319
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,550
of that plus sign
he's always carrying around.
320
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,550
Let me share
the Buddhist path to Heaven
321
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:31,550
with an enlightened tale I call
322
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:34,460
"The Princess
Not Affiliated With Disney."
323
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,490
Unless we are now owned
by Disney.
324
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,530
In the sixth century B.C.,
325
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:40,530
or zero
in the Buddhist calendar...
326
00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:42,730
Oh, you have your own calendar.
327
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,730
What's today,
the fifth of Bibbity-boo?
328
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,770
...zero
in the Buddhist calendar,
329
00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:51,510
lived the spoiled
Princess Siddmartha.
330
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:54,680
Siddmartha, sweetie,
look what we got you.
331
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,710
Oh. A pony.
332
00:15:56,810 --> 00:15:58,580
50 ponies!
333
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,780
Oh. Somehow 50 ponies
334
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,650
- seem less than one.
- Oh.
335
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,620
The princess wondered,
if nothing was denied her,
336
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,660
why was she not satisfied?
337
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,830
Why couldn't she be happy
like her brother
338
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:13,830
with his stupid
multiplayer games?
339
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:26,840
Brother, do you not grow weary
of this opulence?
340
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:29,410
Sometimes, but there's always
the decadence.
341
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:33,680
There must be a middle path
between opulence and decadence.
342
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:35,680
Flatulence?
343
00:16:35,790 --> 00:16:37,420
No.
344
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:44,590
Please, somebody,
think of the elephants!
345
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:47,400
Princess Siddmartha, hmm,
346
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,470
perhaps the stars hold
the answer to your questions.
347
00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:52,700
Why don't you take a look?
348
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:57,470
Meh.
349
00:17:00,510 --> 00:17:03,510
Those children have nothing,
but they're enjoying themselves.
350
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:05,680
Maybe all these riches
have blinded me
351
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,680
to what really matters:
352
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:09,680
goats' heads. Hmm.
353
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:13,820
That's mine.
354
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:27,400
♪ I live a life
of great excess ♪
355
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,670
♪ And yet I find no happiness
356
00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:36,640
♪ There's more to life
than this, I hope ♪
357
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:39,580
♪ Than golden tubs
and fragrant soap ♪
358
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,480
♪ All kinds of stuff,
and yet I mope ♪
359
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:46,820
♪ I want less
360
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,420
♪ Don't want to grab life
by the horns ♪
361
00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:52,630
♪ Don't want
to grab that brass ring ♪
362
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,460
♪ Hear me shout
and hear me sing ♪
363
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:58,400
♪ All I want is just one thing
364
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:03,400
♪ I want less, I want less
365
00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:06,370
♪ Less, less, less
366
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,810
♪ I want more of
367
00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:11,522
♪ Less...
368
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,620
Less.
369
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,450
Oops.
370
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:24,630
Disguised as a poor boy,
Siddmartha sought out
371
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,630
the most learned scholars
in the kingdom.
372
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,430
But she soon learned
373
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:31,430
Kathmandu U,
like Budhanilkantha Tech,
374
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:32,800
was just another party school.
375
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,740
Excuse me.
376
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,510
You're wasting your lives, man.
377
00:18:40,610 --> 00:18:43,740
It's the year zero.
How much is there to learn?
378
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:46,810
Come on, girl.
Let's find inner peace.
379
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:59,330
I will sit under this Bodhi Tree
because I am void of ideas.
380
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,660
So, Siddmartha sat
and sat and sat and sat,
381
00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,730
willing to wait
forever and a day
382
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,670
until she found enlightenment.
383
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,390
♪ Om...
384
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:35,400
♪ Om...
385
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,630
Namaste!
386
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:41,670
Even though she strayed from
our faith, I'm proud of Lisa.
387
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:46,370
That Buddhist kid's
a really good person.
388
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,740
What? I'm just sayin'.
389
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,580
Mm, if we've learned anything
390
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,680
from these three
tangentially-related stories,
391
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:54,380
it's that there are many paths
to Heaven.
392
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,480
Maybe we should let
everybody in.
393
00:19:56,590 --> 00:20:00,490
Great idea. I decree that all
with good souls are welcome
394
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,860
in Heaven now and forever.
395
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,430
How did I get here?
396
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,560
Well, you see,
you were Smithers' plus one.
397
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:11,470
I demand to get in
on my own merits.
398
00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:13,500
I'll talk to him.
399
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,670
♪ Hallelujah,
hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪
400
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,280
Don't be scared, boys.
401
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,320
That's just angels bowling.
402
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,320
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
403
00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:32,430
- Oh, we consider it a blessing.
- Kiss-up.
404
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:36,430
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
405
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:40,430
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
406
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:44,440
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
407
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:48,480
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
408
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:20,470
Shh!
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