Original subtitles

Previously on This Is Us...

How in the hell can I know

so little about my dad's time in Vietnam?

JACK: I got back from Vietnam not too long ago.

I had a brother. He died in the war.

Don't worry, Nicky. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not going anywhere.

♪

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

♪ Darkness, darkness ♪

♪ Be my pillow ♪

♪ Take my hand ♪

♪ And let me sleep ♪

♪ In the coolness... ♪

Hope you find him, Sarge.

I mean, I hope the top-secret government stuff goes well.

♪ Of your dreams

Thanks for the lift.

♪ Darkness, darkness, hide my yearning ♪

♪ For the things that cannot be ♪

♪ Keep my mind from constant turning ♪

♪ Towards the things I cannot see... ♪

- Where you coming from, Sarge? - A fishing ville.

Pulling security detail along the Sông Trà Khúc.

- The what? - JACK: The Sông Trà Khúc.

It's 20... 25 klicks southwest of here.

Easy detail.

- Lucky. - Yeah.

♪ Darkness, darkness ♪

♪ Long and lonesome ♪

♪ Is the day... ♪

That way.

Follow the smell.

♪ I have found the edge of sadness ♪

♪ I have known the depths of fear ♪

♪ Darkness, darkness ♪

♪ Be my blanket ♪

♪ Cover me with the endless night ♪

♪ Take away, take away the pain... ♪

Hey, little brother.

♪ Fill the emptiness of right now ♪

♪ Emptiness of right now ♪

synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com*

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Squirrel, take point.

Robinson, you're with me.

ROBINSON: Hmm.

Still giving me orders, and I've been here twice as long, huh?

(CHUCKLES) Can't help it if they made me staff sergeant so quick.

Yeah, well, you know what tonight is?

- 90 days. - 90 more days. Midnight tonight.

90 days, I'm out of here. I'm gone.

I'm back on the block.

You know what the first thing I'm gonna do is?

- You're gonna go to Amarillo. - Going right to Amarillo,

- get me that tryout. - You know,

the Giants... they already got a center fielder.

Willie Mays is an old man.

He's keeping center field warm for me, brother.

Yeah, he's all right.

I mean, look, he's no Clemente, but he's all right.

Well, if it doesn't work out for me and the Giants,

I'm going straight to Pittsburgh,

I'm-a take Clemente's job, his woman, all of it.

And because I like you, Pearson,

I'm gonna leave you a ticket to a game.

Yeah. You keep telling yourself that.

What you got, Squirrel?

(WHISPERS): Toe popper. Homemade.

- Okay. Blow it. - Okay.

♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

Hey, Townie. Knock it off.

- Uh, just one more, Sarge. - No.

- Go long, pretty boy. - Boone, you got a can?

I don't think you got the arm, Townie.

- Yeah, want to bet? Go deep. - Nah, for a big boy,

you sure throw like a small...

- Whoa! - Geez!

Squirrel?

Medic!

Contact! Contact, left!

Get on! Go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go!

- You okay, you okay? - Reloading, reloading.

- JACK: Boone, you good? - Good as it goes.

(SHOUTS)

Robinson?

Hey, Robinson, a lot of bad guys. Hose it down.

I got you. Shake 'n Bake.

JACK: Go, go, go! Get on! Go, go, go!

Murphy, you're with him, I'll cover. Go, go, go!

(ROBINSON SCREAMS)

MURPHY: Man down! Man down!

I got a man down!

Man down!

Man down!

Man down!

Oh!

Go, cover. Go, go, Cover.

- Medic! Medic! - Where is it...?

Did you see my foot? Did you find my foot?

- I got to find my foot... - Hey, Donnie, stay down.

Stay down! Stay down, Donnie. Stay down. Medic!

Stay calm. I need to get a tourniquet on you.

Jack, I think they can sew it back on.

Jack, Jack. Think they can sew it on?

- Deac! - Hey, Sarge.

JACK: Get some morphine in him.

Get a second tourniquet on.

He's bleeding out.

- Murphy! - MURPHY: Yeah?

- Clear? - Clear.

- They're retreating. - Jack, is this really real?

- Morphine's in. - Just ride the high.

Just ride the high, Donnie. Come on.

I'm riding the high, Jack.

- I'm cool. - Murillo!

Jack. Jack. (EXHALES)

Give me...

- give me my foot, please, Jack. - What?

My foot. Just give me...

MURILLO: Sarge.

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

Murillo, call in...

call in a medevac.

- One W.I.A., one K.I.A. Go. - Roger, roger.

Home Plate 3-0, this is Indigo two-one-niner.

We need a Dustoff.

One W.I.A....

(CRYING): What is that?

JACK: I got you a medic. I got you, bro.

I got you. I got you.

It's gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Come on, man. You're gonna be okay.

♪

(EXHALES)

I guess Clemente's j is safe for now.

Yeah, but you can still beat Willie Mays.

My ass.

Hey, you're going home, man.

No 90 days, Robinson.

You're going home ASAP. That's what matters.

But you got more than 90 days left.

And now you got to do it without me here.

Roger that, Donnie.

I'm gonna be fine. No sweat.

You're scared, Pearson.

Don't you ever get tired of pretending

like you ain't plain, flat-out scared?

Nah, I've been pretending my whole life, man.

I don't know any other way.

My ma...

she used to, um,

she used to do this thing,

we were little, when we were scared.

We have a monster in the closet,

or we knew my pop was gone,

and he was gonna come home drunk and heated.

She'd tell us to breathe.

It's a funny thing that we forget sometimes.

We so scared that we gonna die,

we forget to do the thing that keeps us alive.

Breathe.

(SNIFFLES)

- You want a foot, man? - (LAUGHS)

Jack.

(INAUDIBLE)

One, two, three!

♪

Heard you got your asses 'bushed.

Command's throwing you some easy duty.

You'll be pulling security at a little river village

on the Sông Trà Khúc

as part of the Strategic Hamlet Program.

It'll be like Club Med compared to the boonies.

Hear they got little boats you can go fishing on and everything.

Get your men squared away, you're leaving first thing

- in the a.m. - Yes, sir.

Sir, where did you say

the-the ville was located, sir?

It's about 20 or 25 klicks southwest of Chu Lai.

Here, I'll show you.

♪ Good-bye, mama ♪

♪ Good-bye to you, too ♪

♪ Little sister, you'll have to wait a while ♪

♪ To come along... ♪

How often does the chopper come back to resupply?

Every three, four days. Why?

I may need you to give me a lift one of those times.

Top secret government stuff.

♪ Got to make one last trip to my bedroom ♪

♪ I guess I'll have to ♪

♪ Leave some stuff behind ♪

♪ It's funny how the same old crooked pictures... ♪

(MEN SHOUTING, WHOOPING)

♪ Just don't seem the same ♪

♪ To me tonight ♪

♪ There ain't no use ♪

♪ In shedding lonely tears, mama... ♪

SHEEHAN: The ville is mainly populated by women and children,

'cause all the able-bodied men are out fighting the Vietcong,

or fighting us.

Battalion intel claims this ville

is riddled with VC and VC sympathizers.

They want the place pacified,

whatever the hell "pacified" means.

I mean, how do you pacify people

who don't want to be pacified?

But I guess we'll string some

concertina wire, try to keep out the VC riffraff

and then provide a little old-fashioned American

firepower when it hits the fan,

which most definitely will happen.

At night, you watch.

Shadows come, shadows go.

Are they against us? Are they with us?

Don't know, don't care.

They cut the wire, next day you repair the wire.

Rinse and repeat.

I'll be checking in on you every couple days.

This is a cush detail

and it will not last forever,

so do not take it for granted

and do not screw it up.

♪ I know how hard it is ♪

♪ Not to be younger ♪

♪ I know you've tried to keep me from the cold ♪

♪ And thanks for all you've done, it may sound hollow ♪

♪ Thank you for the good times ♪

♪ That we've known ♪

♪ But I must find my own road now to follow ♪

♪ You will all be welcome in my home ♪

♪ I've got my suitcase, I must go now ♪

♪ I don't mind about the things you said. ♪

Sarge.

Wake up, gentlemen.

Let's go.

Come on, wake up.

Think you're sleeping in on vacation here?

Murillo.

Show 'em. Open the case.

- Look what Sarge got for us. - Yeah.

- Hell, man. - Yeah.

Holy crap, Sarge.

How'd you score this?

Still want to play me in high-stakes poker? Whoa, whoa!

Whoa. Back up.

Now, this camp, I swear to God.

I need you to police it up,

and I need it done ASAP. Right now.

Pull yourselves together. And then...

we celebrate.

You got two hours.

Murillo, anyone makes a move on the crate,

you give 'em a serious ass kicking,

- that's an order. - Roger that, Sarge.

Townie, Murphy,

get dressed, you're with me on the wire.

Man, this ville leaks like a sieve.

That's affirmative, Murph.

These yo-yos, they come and go at will,

like they own the place.

Well, hey, man, they sort of do own the place.

I mean, it's their ville, right?

No excuses.

Just saying, man.

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

Been having nightmares about this ville

since the last time I was here.

Your men are the sloppiest bunch of junkyard dogs I've ever seen.

Oh, no, no, sir. They're in good form.

Hmm.

Sir, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.

I just heard that my brother is at LZ Gloria,

and he's in a bit of trouble.

Guess he's been Article 15'd, and, well, I was wondering,

since it's under 20 klicks from here,

if I can get on the next supply chopper,

hitch a ride, go to him.

Well, it's all sun and fun out here,

but you realize there's a war going on?

JACK: No, I-I know, I know that, but I...

Did you catch this yourself?

Oh, is this for me?

Lanh! Lanh!

(SPEAKS VIETNAMESE)

Lanh!

Hey, you little pissant Ho Chi Minh,

we don't want your fish. Di di pronto.

- Di di pronto. Scram. - JACK: Hey, Townie,

take it easy, okay? He's just a kid.

Yeah, now he is, but wait till he turns 15.

Little commie runt will slip through that stupid wire

we patch up every night and start blowing us away.

Townie.

He's not wrong.

Due respect, sir...

I'm asking you for 24 hours to go see my brother.

Sergeant, you're down two men already.

I can't spare you.

And your squad doesn't exactly inspire me with confidence.

♪ Lonely feeling ♪

♪ Deep inside ♪

♪ Find a corner ♪

♪ Where I can hide ♪

♪ Silent footsteps ♪

♪ Crowding me ♪

♪ Sudden darkness ♪

♪ But I can see ♪

♪ No sugar tonight in my coffee ♪

♪ No sugar tonight in my tea, no sugar to stand... ♪

Hey there, Joe.

Hello, Mrs. Pearson.

Oh, I'm such a klutz.

Have a good day, Joe.

(INDISTINCT VOICES OVER TV)

- Hey, Ma. - (SNIFFLING)

Just checking on you.

NICKY: Dear family,

I'm up at a forward firebase called LZ Gloria

somewhere out in the boonies of Quang Nam Province.

I got Article 15'd.

That's getting my rank busted to PFC

for "reckless endangerment to myself

and to my fellow soldiers,"

like I'm the danger, and not this messed up war.

I'm not getting out of here alive, I know that,

but I'm not dying on anyone's terms but my own.

♪ If you were a bird and you lived very high ♪

I'm living in hell on earth, family.

Hell, I may have already died and I don't even know it.

♪ That's where I wanted to go today ♪

♪ And I do know that I need... ♪

I hope to see you again.

Wherever that may be.

Love, Nick.

♪ Around ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Like a mountain springtime ♪

♪ Flashing through the rivers of my mind ♪

♪ It's what I feel ♪

♪ For you... ♪

RECEPTIONIST: Jack Pearson?

Your pulse is high.

Doctors make me nervous.

I've been your family doctor since you were six, Jack.

If I'm still making you nervous, I'm not doing my job very well.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, you know, Nicky wanted to be a doctor?

Wants...

Wants to be a doctor.

- Didn't know that. - Yeah.

Maybe because he was always sick as a kid.

I don't know.

But he did love the science of it all, I think.

(INHALES, EXHALES)

And even when we were little,

I-if I got a cold...

he'd-he'd try to figure out the perfect combo of O.J. or soup

to make me feel better, you know?

(CHUCKLES)

I want to enlist, Doc.

I need to be there with him.

You have a legitimate reason not to go, Jack.

The tachycardia...

It's a harmless irregular heartbeat.

Look, I was fine to take the 4-F, avoid the war.

I'm not stupid, but...

well, he's there now,

and he's struggling.

Look, I just need to be where he is.

Okay? Even if I can't get to him.

Even if I can't do anything for him.

I just need to be there.

He's my little brother, Doc.

It's my job to take care of him.

That is my only job.

Do a hundred push-ups right before you go in.

Then catch your breath. That should help you pass.

Should help balance it out.

If they notice anything,

just say you're nervous.

Honestly, they'll probably be so surprised

to see anybody volunteer for this damn war now,

it's your brain they'll want to check.

♪

Want a little coffee with your sugar?

Funny.

(SONG PLAYING FAINTLY OVER RADIO)

So you just gonna stand around, watch me work all day?

Hey, man, I'm just...

trying to pass the time.

Get any sleep?

Not really. You?

Slept like a baby, 'cause everything's gonna be all right.

Yeah, not if my number comes up.

The lottery, I mean.

It's not gonna happen, Nicky.

- It might. - It won't.

Yeah, I know.

- You got a plan. - I don't.

Yeah, you do.

My own personal Superman.

Just your big brother.

And I'm your Lois Lane.

Always needing to be saved.

You know that is not who you are, right?

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, look, we'll...

we'll watch at the bar tonight.

I have a plan.

Thanks, Supe.

ANCHOR: ...the president may be under great pressure

to reciprocate, possibly by announcing

a heavier second step American troop withdrawal...

Hey, Nicky. Let's go. It's almost time.

No, we're gonna watch it downtown.

You're not watching it here?

(CHUCKLES) It's draft lottery, it's not the Super Bowl.

Remember, sweetie,

you were born lucky, and I'm praying for you.

- Thanks, Mom. - Yeah, thanks, Mommy.

Look out for your brother.

Always do.

Yeah, God forbid he learns to look out for himself.

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪ From your dream ♪

♪ And you look into the mirror ♪

♪ By the bed ♪

♪ Do you wonder ♪

♪ As the day grows... ♪

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

Slow down.

Nick, slow down.

Oh, they're gonna call my number.

I just know they're gonna call my number.

Hey, you were born lucky. Remember?

Your birthday is gonna be the 365th one called tonight,

and you're not gonna get drafted.

We just don't want to hear "October 18"

for a very long time tonight.

Yeah.

You know, I read that the cutoff is something like 200.

And anybody picked after that's probably not gonna go.

NEWSCASTER: We interrupt this broadcast to go live

to the Selective Service National Draft Lottery.

(MUSIC, CHATTER STOPS)

MAN (ON TV): The director of Selective Service

is going to establish tonight

a random selection sequence

for induction for 1970.

September 14.

MAN 2: September 14,

zero, zero, one.

April 24.

MAN 2: April 24

is zero, zero, two.

MAN: December 30.

MAN 2: December 30

is zero, zero, three.

MAN: February 14.

MAN 2: February 14 is zero, zero, four.

October 18.

MAN 2: October 18,

zero, zero, five.

MAN: September 6.

MAN 2: September 6

is zero, zero, six.

- MAN: October... - We'll get you to Canada.

I know a guy. He-he'll get you set up.

Get a place to live, a job, everything.

I don't even have a passport.

You don't need one. Look, all you need

is a driver's license and a reason.

Okay? The guards, t-they don't even carry guns.

(SIGHS)

It's gonna be okay.

MAN: November 22.

MAN 2: November 22,

zero, zero, nine.

MAN: December 6.

MAN 2: December 6

is zero, one, zero.

(NICKY CLEARS THROAT)

Make me proud, son.

(HORN HONKS)

You guys enjoy your hunting trip.

Thanks, Ma.

I love you, Nicky. I love you so much.

I love you, too.

(ENGINE STARTS)

♪ The people on this train ♪

♪ Are from a different age ♪

♪ The woman's taking a man back 'cause he's... ♪

He's never gonna speak to me again.

♪ And everyone but me is going somewhere to... ♪

Lucky.

♪ I'm on a train ride ♪

♪ It's just for fun, I'm on a train ride... ♪

Hey, you know it's not your job to fight his demons, Nick.

♪ These people seek something of which I want none ♪

(NICKY SIGHS)

♪ That is to say that they have contempt for fun ♪

♪ Their minds are so closed that they can't understand... ♪

I wonder what happens next to me.

♪ Just for fun ♪

♪ I'm on a train ride... ♪

It's weird, isn't it...

the way we think about our lives?

What's next?

What happens next?

Always moving forward.

♪ Let them drink bitters, I will drink wine... ♪

I wonder if things would make more sense

if you looked at everything in reverse.

Like, if you...

started at the end,

and move backwards and try to figure out how you got there.

I wish I could do that right now.

♪ Just for fun ♪

♪ And I ain't gonna stop ♪

(SIGHS)

♪ But for these scarecrows I know not but where... ♪

I read that you could become a medic

if you train in Texas for two months.

Medics get shot, too, Nicky.

We're almost 30 miles from the border.

Let's... let's get a motel.

Get some rest. You... you can cross tomorrow.

♪ Just for fun, I'm on a train ride ♪

♪ Just for fun, yeah, this train ride ♪

♪ Just for fun. ♪

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(EXHALES)

♪

Nicky, go long.

I won't catch it.

You can do it, come on. Go long.

(GRUNTS) Ow.

(SNIFFLING)

It's okay, Nicky, you're okay.

- My glasses. - It's okay, it's okay,

it's okay. You're-you're fine.

If he sees the glasses he'll be mad.

He'll be mad at me, not you.

I'll never let him touch you.

I hate my glasses, anyway.

Come on. They make you look smart.

No one tough wears glasses.

What about Superman?

Superman doesn't wear glasses.

He does when he's Clark Kent.

Not when he's Superman.

He's a tough guy in disguise.

That's you, Nicky.

You're Clark Kent. You're CK.

Tough guy in disguise.

Just a matter of time before people realize

you're actually Superman.

(ENGINE APPROACHES)

(CAR CREAKING)

Christ's sake, clean up your toys.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

STANLEY (IN DISTANCE): Don't you tell me what I need!

MARILYN: Stanley, it's late.

STANLEY: Please, hey... don't touch... don't touch that.

- Don't! - (CLATTERING)

- Hey! - (GLASS SHATTERS)

I don't want to hear it. Bring that back!

Leave me alone, leave that here.

All right? I don't want to hear it.

All right, get back to your...

♪

- ...touch that. - Maybe if you don't need another three.

Don't you dare tell me what I need.

Leave her alone.

(SIGHS)

Isn't this cute?

Okay, Stanley, come on.

(CHUCKLES)

Three of you deserve each other.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm sorry, boys.

I'm so sorry.

He didn't use to be this way.

Jack.

Sweetie, your heart is racing.

It always beats fast.

I'm fine.

(MARILYN SIGHS)

- MARILYN: Oh, Stanley, I'm scared. - No, no, just keep breathing.

You're doing great. Mom's gonna be just fine, Jack.

Okay, sir, we'll take it from here.

- Stanley. - No, no, come on, hon,

you've done this before.

Okay? You did great the first time,

- you're gonna do great now. - Okay. Right.

MARILYN: Jack.

(GRUNTING)

You're a lucky woman, having a baby on October 18.

18 is my lucky number, you know?

My best daughter was born on the 18th,

I was 18 when I got married

and June 18 is my anniversary.

(CHUCKLES)

Yes, ma'am, super lucky day today.

Lucky baby.

My husband's hoping I can hold out till tomorrow.

The 19th is his father's birthday.

You like his father?

(EXHALES)

Dad, do you want a boy or a girl?

- Truth? - Truth.

(QUIETLY): I want another boy.

Ah, there you are.

Hey, Dad.

Eh, any news?

No, not yet.

Oh.

You pick a name?

Yeah. Nick if it's a boy,

and Noreen if it's a girl.

What do you think?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Come on! I know you can do this.

(GRUNTING, PANTING)

You're doing good, come on.

Keep pushing.

(SIGHS) It's been hours.

Yeah.

You want a swig?

Come on, Dad, you know I don't drink.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, Dad, you know, if that kid's born after midnight,

you'll share a birthday.

Yeah, well, it is getting late.

Your mother's held dinner for me.

I expect you'll send word.

- Thanks for coming down, Dad. - Yeah.

♪ Darkness, darkness ♪

♪ Be my pillow ♪

♪ Take my head... ♪

Here you go.

Here's your mama.

♪ In the coolness ♪

♪ Of your shadow... ♪

Well, 11:58 p.m....

made it just by the skin of our teeth.

♪ Darkness, darkness... ♪

That guy, right there.

That's your little brother.

NURSE: October 18 after all.

18 is a very lucky number.

Very lucky number indeed.

Now, remember...

big brothers look out for their little brothers.

It's their only job.

It's the only thing that matters.

And you know what?

All these little guys in there...

every single one of 'em...

they have the same birthday as your little brother.

♪ Be my pillow ♪

♪ Take my head ♪

♪ And let me sleep ♪

♪ In the coolness ♪

♪ Of my shadow ♪

♪ In the silence ♪

♪ Of my dream ♪

♪ Darkness, darkness ♪

♪ Be my blanket ♪

♪ Cover me ♪

♪ With the endless night ♪

♪ Take away... ♪

Hey, little brother.

♪ Fill the emptiness ♪

♪ Of right now ♪

♪ In the emptiness ♪

♪ Of right now ♪

♪ In the emptiness of right now. ♪