Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:13,000
Mmm. Jam.
2
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:19,344
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
3
00:00:24,138 --> 00:00:25,871
Okay, okay.
4
00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:28,206
The only explanation
is I'm still asleep,
5
00:00:28,242 --> 00:00:30,409
dreaming that the house is flooded.
6
00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:33,145
What does it mean? What does it mean?
7
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:35,147
It probably means you're
under a lot of stress
8
00:00:35,182 --> 00:00:38,016
because this is not a dream
and the house is flooded.
9
00:00:38,052 --> 00:00:40,619
- D'oh!
- Cowabunga!
10
00:00:44,091 --> 00:00:45,857
Oh, my God. This is horrible!
11
00:00:45,893 --> 00:00:47,726
Although, I do like the sofa better
12
00:00:47,761 --> 00:00:49,194
where the water's carrying it.
13
00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:56,702
How did this happen?
14
00:00:58,238 --> 00:01:00,205
Homie, I don't like
where the painting is.
15
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,707
Maybe you're upset about something else.
16
00:01:01,742 --> 00:01:02,741
Are you hungry?
17
00:01:02,776 --> 00:01:04,242
Why don't you make some pork chops?
18
00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:05,477
Fine.
19
00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:08,313
Now can you hang the painting?
20
00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:10,449
Always with the painting.
21
00:01:12,686 --> 00:01:14,953
Perfect. Wait, no, no, it's not.
22
00:01:14,989 --> 00:01:17,556
Try again.
23
00:01:17,591 --> 00:01:20,459
Mm. No, split the difference.
24
00:01:22,096 --> 00:01:23,895
See?
25
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:27,766
When you listen to me,
we make a great team.
26
00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,769
It's almost like I can hear the ocean.
27
00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:32,871
I guess we're both at fault.
28
00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:34,706
In a way, that's refreshing.
29
00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:36,842
Do you want me to apologize anyway?
30
00:01:36,877 --> 00:01:39,945
- I'd be happy to.
- Aw, no, thanks, sweetie.
31
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,848
Hmm. Well, either way, I'm sorry.
32
00:01:42,851 --> 00:01:45,385
Okay, now, when we try
to sell the house,
33
00:01:45,452 --> 00:01:47,586
no one mention the water.
34
00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:49,588
Just tell me you paid the insurance.
35
00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:51,456
You mean that bill that's
floating right there?
36
00:01:51,492 --> 00:01:54,359
It's not due till tomorrow, so relax.
37
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,562
My origami project.
38
00:01:57,598 --> 00:02:01,033
Don't worry, sweetie. We'll
have a funeral for it.
39
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:03,035
- All right.
- _
40
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:06,872
I-I'll just pull up your policy.
Alt-Control-F... Aw, damn it!
41
00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:09,074
Kate! Kate, can you get in here?
42
00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:12,444
It's a different generation that
knows how to work these things.
43
00:02:15,382 --> 00:02:17,582
- Enjoy.
- Eh, the kids, huh?
44
00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:20,252
They just know how to do it.
Now let's see here.
45
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:24,022
You're in luck! The policy I sold you
46
00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:26,391
covers the full replacement
value of your house.
47
00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:30,829
We also pay for six months
temporary housing.
48
00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:33,665
Now the bad news: your policy
is the only one I've sold.
49
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,233
It just cost the company a bundle,
50
00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:37,002
and I'm gonna lose my job.
51
00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:38,937
Gee, sorry, ol' Gil.
52
00:02:38,972 --> 00:02:42,140
That's okay, I got options:
unemployment, suicide.
53
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:44,443
When one door closes, a coffin opens.
54
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:47,312
Eh, what am I saying?
I don't make coffin money.
55
00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:49,614
But now I got something to work towards!
56
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,116
That's right.
57
00:02:51,151 --> 00:02:54,119
Kate, can you tell me
how to charge a cell phone?
58
00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:58,990
Whoa, whoa, whoa, so wall
holes make things charge?
59
00:02:59,026 --> 00:03:00,725
What's next?
60
00:03:03,497 --> 00:03:06,364
There are some nice Airbnb
options on the Westside.
61
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,101
Ooh. Huh? Huh?
_
62
00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:10,669
Mm, I'd feel kind of weird
63
00:03:10,704 --> 00:03:14,639
sleeping in the bedroom
of someone I know.
64
00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:16,975
Everything okay with the room?
65
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,810
You're not supposed to be back
66
00:03:18,846 --> 00:03:20,679
from your vacation for three weeks.
67
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:22,380
It's not a vacation.
68
00:03:22,416 --> 00:03:24,483
My dad is doing seasonal fruit picking.
69
00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,151
Come on, Milhouse.
70
00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:29,488
I need you on my shoulders
to reach the high apples.
71
00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:31,490
And I don't want to be in a room
72
00:03:31,525 --> 00:03:34,960
where guys walked around
with their dinguses out.
73
00:03:34,995 --> 00:03:37,662
No! No, don't imagine that!
74
00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:42,701
So, son, uh, word on the street
is you've come into some money.
75
00:03:42,736 --> 00:03:44,236
Yeah?
76
00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:47,472
I was wondering, you know, uh...
just hear me out...
77
00:03:47,508 --> 00:03:50,075
I've always considered
you a friend, and...
78
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,077
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
79
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:54,746
This is the most precious
kind of money there is:
80
00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,748
unearned, and it's mine.
81
00:03:56,783 --> 00:03:58,917
And you're not getting at it
just because you need
82
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:01,319
a bigger TV or a room
with a window or...
83
00:04:01,355 --> 00:04:02,821
An operation.
84
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,557
You need an operation?
What's the matter?
85
00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:07,325
If it's all the same, it's embarrassing,
86
00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:09,394
and I'd rather not discuss it publicly.
87
00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:10,896
Really? What could it be?
88
00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:13,832
Look, it's important to me and pricey.
89
00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:15,634
What could it be?
90
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,325
_
91
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,338
"Pane in the ass"?
92
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:23,542
Hands off!
93
00:04:23,577 --> 00:04:25,210
I need professional help!
94
00:04:25,245 --> 00:04:27,779
Not to worry. This is the United States.
95
00:04:27,814 --> 00:04:30,182
We have the third best
health care system
96
00:04:30,217 --> 00:04:31,583
in North America.
97
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,185
Hi, Medicare!
98
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,387
I mean, hi, every-money.
99
00:04:35,422 --> 00:04:37,689
Can I speak with the doctor alone?
100
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:40,091
Of course.
101
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,260
Oh, wait, I'm the doctor.
102
00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:45,430
That's why I wear the
heart listening tube.
103
00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:47,465
Ba-boom, ba-boom.
104
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,467
That never gets old.
105
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,470
What's taking Grampa so long in there?
106
00:04:52,506 --> 00:04:55,373
It's crazy that medical
costs are so high here.
107
00:04:55,409 --> 00:04:59,778
In Denmark... to pick a country
at random... health care is free.
108
00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:03,415
Free? Honey, nothing
is free but Splendas.
109
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,518
In Denmark, they make
everyone pay high taxes.
110
00:05:06,553 --> 00:05:08,053
Even rich people.
111
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:10,388
Yes, and they get free health care.
112
00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:12,424
It's called socialism.
113
00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:16,228
Socialism? But all my radio
loudmouths tell me to hate that.
114
00:05:16,263 --> 00:05:18,396
That doc can't do nothing for me.
115
00:05:18,432 --> 00:05:22,000
You know, if Grampa was in
Denmark and he had an accident,
116
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:24,836
he'd get medical care for free!
117
00:05:24,871 --> 00:05:26,838
I can't go to Denmark by myself.
118
00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:29,274
I get lost in the middle of a sentence,
119
00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:33,311
and that was the best pie I ever had.
120
00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:35,780
Wait a minute. What if we
used our insurance money
121
00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:38,183
to take a family trip to Denmark?
122
00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:39,851
Why would we want to go to Denmark?
123
00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:43,021
It is the happiest country
on Earth, in poll after poll.
124
00:05:43,056 --> 00:05:46,658
I got your poll right here.
125
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:47,993
Hey, you're right.
_
126
00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:50,195
Homer, you've got the vacation coming.
127
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,330
We've got the money. It's settled.
128
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:56,101
We're going to Denmark,
and Grampa will get fixed.
129
00:05:56,136 --> 00:05:59,537
Well, Homer, looks like Marge
is the boss in your house.
130
00:05:59,573 --> 00:06:01,373
Well, I say we don't go!
131
00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:03,241
But we need to go. I'm desperate!
132
00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:04,709
Fine, we'll go.
133
00:06:04,745 --> 00:06:07,834
That woman's got
you right under her thumb.
134
00:06:08,717 --> 00:06:14,015
_
135
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,476
None of these were chosen
136
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,762
as the name of our airline. Danish Air.
137
00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:22,300
Excuse me, sir, the "no smoking"
sign has been illuminated.
138
00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:27,038
Sorry.
139
00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:29,841
The flight attendants are so sweet.
140
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:32,610
We will be landing in
Copenhagen shortly.
141
00:06:32,645 --> 00:06:35,112
If you have been designing
and building furniture
142
00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:38,983
during the flight, please apply
your final coat of varnish now.
143
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,154
Hey, I got things done, too.
144
00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:45,156
What the...?!
_
145
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,577
Denmark, the jewel of the Baltic.
146
00:06:47,609 --> 00:06:50,143
First-class schools,
sleek furniture design,
147
00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,544
energy independence,
148
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:55,682
and brooding TV dramas
about teenagers getting killed.
149
00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:58,284
Thank you so much for
renting my apartment.
150
00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,086
It's so efficient.
151
00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:06,859
Please allow me to give
you a tour of Copenhagen.
152
00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,363
Wonderful. But first, a nap.
153
00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:13,633
No, Homer. You slept on the plane.
154
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:16,436
You slept through customs.
You slept on the bus.
155
00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:18,337
How can you sleep now?
156
00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:21,140
Don't you hear Copenhagen calling?
157
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:23,176
Take a message.
158
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,254
The people here are
so openly affectionate.
159
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,823
Why don't we all hold hands?
160
00:07:36,858 --> 00:07:38,991
Are we supposed to
interlock fingers or not?
161
00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:40,526
Cramp! Cramp!
162
00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:41,994
Dad's hands are covered with jam.
163
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,430
- I can't get it off!
- Grampa's hands are too rough.
164
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,733
- Lisa's hands are too soft.
- Just keep holding.
165
00:07:46,768 --> 00:07:48,668
Oh, don't worry, the
government will pay you
166
00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,236
to learn this social skill.
167
00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:52,505
Uh, Homer, you are
holding your own hand.
168
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,342
They're fighting over a Danish.
169
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,678
Created in 1913, The Little Mermaid
170
00:07:58,713 --> 00:08:01,080
is a world-famous icon of Denmark.
171
00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:03,316
No, The Little Mermaid
was created by Disney,
172
00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:06,018
right before he created
Spider-Man and Star Wars.
173
00:08:06,054 --> 00:08:07,754
This is the real little mermaid.
174
00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:09,689
And she was a very tragic figure.
175
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,758
- What about her buddy, the crab?
- There was no crab!
176
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,526
He was the only funny thing in it.
177
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:14,694
Got that right.
178
00:08:14,729 --> 00:08:16,529
Oh, my God, it's wonderful.
179
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,898
More people biking than driving cars.
180
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,466
Yes, it's rush hour,
181
00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:23,102
so people are taking the
bicycle superhighways home.
182
00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:24,804
Uh, how crowded are your
bicycle superhighways?
183
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,305
Well...
184
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:27,807
We don't have any.
185
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,009
But how many people
ride bikes in your town?
186
00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:31,711
The paperboy, till Dad hit him.
187
00:08:31,746 --> 00:08:33,946
Sadly, the one headline
he couldn't deliver.
188
00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:36,315
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, stop the car!
189
00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:39,952
_
190
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:42,121
What? It's Danish for "speed check."
191
00:08:42,157 --> 00:08:44,657
Fart kontrol.
192
00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:49,729
I apologize for my husband.
193
00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:51,931
In our language, that sign
means something else.
194
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,432
Yes, I know.
195
00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:55,301
I'm speaking to you in your language.
196
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,183
_
197
00:08:58,239 --> 00:09:01,841
"Non-Danes do not qualify
for the free health care.
198
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:04,343
"But if you injure yourself in Denmark,
199
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:07,747
a Danish hospital will
treat you for free."
200
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:11,450
I can't believe
the government puts this out.
201
00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:12,919
For free!
202
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,956
Excuse me, you dropped this.
203
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,493
Lisa, this is Prince Christian,
second in line to the throne.
204
00:09:23,531 --> 00:09:25,531
I play the tenor sax.
205
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,600
Oh, no, here it comes.
206
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,036
The fantasy about becoming a princess
207
00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:32,171
that no girl can resist.
208
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,133
Bart, get out of my fantasy!
209
00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:04,203
Ah, geez, I saved your life.
How about a "you're welcome"?
210
00:10:04,227 --> 00:10:06,042
_
211
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:08,074
Can you imagine how exciting it would be
212
00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:09,642
to live in this city?
213
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,078
Ooh, Mom, we could try
it for a semester.
214
00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:15,414
Do you know how long I've wanted
to live in a Celsius country?
215
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,250
There's boobs on the billboards!
216
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:20,519
And we're here in the world's
most perfect amusement park.
217
00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:32,732
Their national anthem is so beautiful,
218
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,401
and they don't get to war
until the second verse.
219
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:39,071
And it's in a range
you can actually sing.
220
00:10:39,107 --> 00:10:44,510
♪ There is a lovely land ♪
221
00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:49,715
♪ With spreading shady beech-trees ♪
222
00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:53,786
♪ Near salty eastern shore ♪
223
00:10:53,821 --> 00:11:00,526
♪ Near salty eastern shore. ♪
224
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:02,396
_
225
00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:06,799
Bart and Lisa are getting along!
This country is calling to us.
226
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,602
Homer, can you take the daring step
227
00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:11,804
of doing nothing and staying here?
228
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,973
There are big reasons
why we can't live here.
229
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,542
I'm okay with nuclear
power, but wind power?
230
00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:20,313
- Frankly, it sounds dangerous.
- Excuse me, white trash.
231
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,815
Is this the kind of country
you want to live in?
232
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:26,052
No, sir. I meant we separate
our trash by colors.
233
00:11:26,087 --> 00:11:31,657
♪ This country is still lovely ♪
234
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:35,494
♪ Because blue is the lake wind... ♪
235
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:38,965
I can't believe you're talking
about leaving Springfield.
236
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,133
That's where all my friends are.
237
00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:47,740
Look, everyone, we came here
to rip this country off,
238
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,843
and that's what we're gonna
do and then go home.
239
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,146
Fine. Let's find a place
that has good smorrebrod,
240
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:58,451
or maybe some morbradbof or flaeskesteg.
241
00:11:58,486 --> 00:12:00,119
Women do love this country.
242
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,921
Homer, do you think I'm handsome?
243
00:12:01,956 --> 00:12:04,323
Well, yes. I was gonna mention it.
244
00:12:04,359 --> 00:12:07,460
- I am a Danish four.
- I'm an American nine.
245
00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:12,698
How could my family want to stay here?
246
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:16,602
In America, we have great
TV channels, like BBC America,
247
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:20,339
and a factory for cheesecakes...
a factory!
248
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:23,275
Your enthusiasm makes me
want to follow you there.
249
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,077
Foreigners are no longer welcome.
250
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,681
All right, Dad, no more fooling around.
251
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:31,650
Time to get you in the
hospital, so we can go home.
252
00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:33,686
_
253
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:41,652
_
254
00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:45,027
_
255
00:12:45,051 --> 00:12:47,051
_
256
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:08,568
_
257
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,995
Hello. How was your day?
258
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:18,264
Eh. This country sure is safe.
259
00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:20,666
Well, last week, an older tourist
260
00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,701
had a bad fall at Kronborg Castle.
261
00:13:22,737 --> 00:13:26,572
Of course, Kronborg Castle.
Why didn't I think of it?
262
00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:28,874
Probably because I never heard of it.
263
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,943
Dating back to the 15th century,
264
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,679
Kronborg was immortalized as Elsinore
265
00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,281
in Shakespeare's Hamlet.
266
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:36,849
Isn't it beautiful?
267
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,618
Yeah, the castle's okay,
but the keep is, like, meh.
268
00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:41,921
And I'll tell you something
else great about here.
269
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:44,557
You've been walking so
much, you've lost weight.
270
00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:47,293
I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight!
271
00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:50,262
Homer, in this most
beautiful spot on Earth,
272
00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:54,934
I have to admit to you,
I really don't want to go home.
273
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:57,036
- I don't either.
- Let's stay.
274
00:13:57,071 --> 00:13:59,438
Think about how happy we'd be here.
275
00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:03,976
It's healthy, it's clean,
it's incredibly civilized,
276
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,812
and everything is done in moderation.
277
00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:08,948
You're not describing a country.
278
00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:11,817
You're describing everything
that's the opposite of me.
279
00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:13,819
Everyone here speaks perfect English.
280
00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,754
Probably gonna be around in five years.
281
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:18,824
It's just a nice place and we like it.
282
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:22,361
All I ask is that you think about it.
283
00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:28,467
Maybe she's right. Maybe
we should move here.
284
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,572
Tubby or not tubby,
that is the question.
285
00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:35,274
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
286
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,477
to gobble the wings and nachos
of outrageous portions,
287
00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:40,513
or just eat fish and end them.
288
00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:44,683
Ay, there's the rub...
brisket rub, Memphis rub.
289
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:49,121
Oh, the rubs I'll miss when I
have shuffled off from Buffalo.
290
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,956
Mozzarella... No.
291
00:14:50,992 --> 00:14:53,792
I'm an American, and we've
got to get back to America,
292
00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:57,925
the greatest country on
Earth, 1917 to 2016.
293
00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,999
This is the famous Holger
Danish, our sleeping king.
294
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,567
All right, Dad, here we go.
295
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,437
There's nothing more American
than a slip and fall.
296
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,406
Whoa!
297
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,908
Hold on, son.
298
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,708
Before you push me down these
stairs, I have a confession.
299
00:15:13,754 --> 00:15:16,388
The procedure I need isn't a surgery.
300
00:15:16,435 --> 00:15:19,336
I just need to remove an old tattoo.
301
00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:22,272
You made us come here
because of a stupid tattoo?
302
00:15:22,307 --> 00:15:25,108
It's not just any tattoo.
303
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,132
_
304
00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:28,845
Mom?
305
00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:33,483
No! Mona Malloy, who
used to iron my shirts.
306
00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:35,519
Of course it's your mother.
307
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,543
_
308
00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:41,191
I can't go to my grave with
this hanging over my heart.
309
00:15:41,226 --> 00:15:42,793
Why is it guys like us
310
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:45,328
are always disappointing
the women we love?
311
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:48,698
I would ask Mona, but she's
spending eternity hating me,
312
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,333
from her pit in hell.
313
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:52,035
I miss her, too.
314
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,938
Her greatest skill was
making people miss her.
315
00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:59,443
- Hello.
- She's talking to you.
316
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:02,145
Mm, I'll talk to someone my age.
317
00:16:02,181 --> 00:16:03,647
_
318
00:16:03,682 --> 00:16:06,516
Excuse me. I felt compelled to meet you.
319
00:16:06,552 --> 00:16:09,553
I've never met a man
with empathy so deep
320
00:16:09,588 --> 00:16:11,221
he weeps in public.
321
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,356
Oh, yeah, I cry, I blubber.
322
00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:15,392
Sometimes stuff comes out of my nose.
323
00:16:15,427 --> 00:16:17,394
Well...
324
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,197
Danish men never reveal such emotion.
325
00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,566
They're like cold, flawless gods.
326
00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:24,901
Look, lady, I'm a married man.
327
00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:27,537
- I'm a married man.
- Shh.
328
00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:29,172
I'm a married man.
329
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,976
Here, marriage is not
such a sacred institution.
330
00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:35,512
Danes are very free sexually.
331
00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:39,749
Perhaps it's because we are more
sensitive to each other's needs,
332
00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:42,185
or just because
we're all so freaking hot.
333
00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:46,356
Now let us dance our
traditional dance of passion.
334
00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:47,791
Okay.
335
00:16:59,071 --> 00:17:03,206
Do you know the Danes eat more
ice cream than any other people?
336
00:17:03,242 --> 00:17:05,275
Yet their rate of heart disease is...
337
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,511
Oh, it's their number
one cause of death.
338
00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,212
Well, look where we got it.
339
00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,849
Well, that never stopped your father.
340
00:17:12,885 --> 00:17:15,952
I'll just text a picture of you
right now, eating the ice...
341
00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,287
Oh, my God.
342
00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:19,489
Marge.
343
00:17:21,493 --> 00:17:22,792
Where are you going?
344
00:17:22,828 --> 00:17:25,195
Where will I ever find
another man like you?
345
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:28,231
Hi, we're the Kiwanis
Club of Cheeseburg, Ohio.
346
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,801
Oh... hio.
347
00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,471
I must confess to you now,
348
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:38,141
every couple that has Airbnb'd
my apartment has broken up.
349
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:40,544
Then how did it get
so many good reviews?
350
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:42,245
They like the big apartment cat.
351
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:45,215
Oh, I do like it. Ooh, let
me scratch your chin!
352
00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:48,618
He's so chubby, I just can't take it!
353
00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:50,487
Marge, honey, I'm so sorry.
354
00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:52,989
We shared a dance and a
fish, but that's it.
355
00:17:53,025 --> 00:17:55,992
- I understand. It's fine.
- So you're coming home?
356
00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:58,728
No, I'm not. I want to stay.
357
00:17:58,764 --> 00:18:02,432
I don't know for how long,
but I feel so alive and free.
358
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,100
I've stopped wearing a bra.
359
00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:06,736
That means they're just one fabric away
360
00:18:06,772 --> 00:18:08,672
from the cool Scandinavian air.
361
00:18:08,707 --> 00:18:11,274
Sorry, Homie. We're not leaving.
362
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,177
Well, the kids can't just replace me.
363
00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:17,480
He's so cozy. He can sleep with Mom.
364
00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:19,516
Can I get you a beer?
365
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,525
Dad, wait.
366
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,695
Mom says you can take these home
with you. It's a bag of bras.
367
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:35,465
And I just learned how to unhook these.
368
00:18:37,502 --> 00:18:39,002
Oh, my God. What am I doing?
369
00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,971
I should be having the time of my life
370
00:18:41,006 --> 00:18:44,307
in this airport security line,
but it's nothing without Marge.
371
00:18:44,343 --> 00:18:46,376
Son, I got to tell you something.
372
00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:48,678
- You're making a huge mistake.
- I know.
373
00:18:48,714 --> 00:18:50,847
I let stubbornness ruin my marriage,
374
00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,984
and all I have to show
for it is an old tattoo.
375
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:57,120
- Go back to your woman.
- You mean the one in the bar?
376
00:18:57,155 --> 00:18:59,389
First the one in the bar, then Marge.
377
00:18:59,424 --> 00:19:00,991
No! Just Marge.
378
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,468
- Marge!
- You missed the flight.
379
00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:14,170
Marge, baby, wherever you are is home.
380
00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:15,805
I'm staying in Copenhagen.
381
00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:17,474
I'm glad you came back,
382
00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:20,844
but I was kind of
rethinking living here.
383
00:19:20,879 --> 00:19:22,512
Why?
384
00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,481
The toilet's in the shower.
385
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,082
The washing machine won't even hold
386
00:19:26,118 --> 00:19:27,717
one pair of your underpants.
387
00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:33,590
And you see how dark it is?
388
00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,692
It's 11:00 in the morning.
389
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:42,432
Well, that was a nice day.
390
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,834
I think I'm ready to go home.
391
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,269
You got it, baby.
392
00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:48,204
We'll ditch this paradise
and never come back.
393
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,539
What about the kids?
394
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,975
I heard the schools are
really great here. I'm out.
395
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:54,811
I want to stay, but no
one ever listens to me.
396
00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,446
So we're all united.
397
00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:58,048
- Yay!
- Whoo!
398
00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:01,451
But I can't help thinking
I'm forgetting something.
399
00:20:03,722 --> 00:20:06,356
Sir, those birds were
already fed by the state.
400
00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:09,459
You are overfeeding them,
which will kill them.
401
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:18,329
When life gives you lemons,
you make lemonade.
402
00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:20,633
Aw.
_
403
00:20:20,766 --> 00:20:22,566
So how much do we owe you?
404
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:25,569
Nothing. In Denmark, we
have socialized tattooing.
405
00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:29,173
And with that, our country
is out of money. Good-bye.
406
00:20:32,953 --> 00:20:35,593
_
407
00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:43,771
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
30449
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
