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1
00:00:00,156 --> 00:00:03,491
Okay, everyone, let's try some big
smiles on this one, all right?
2
00:00:03,493 --> 00:00:05,527
- Big smiles, everyone.
- [camera shutter clicks]
3
00:00:05,996 --> 00:00:08,663
Dina, would you like
to smile for this one?
4
00:00:08,993 --> 00:00:10,201
No.
5
00:00:10,935 --> 00:00:12,768
Dina, please.
6
00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:14,470
Smiling would insinuate that I support
7
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,939
what's happening right
now, which I truly do not.
8
00:00:16,941 --> 00:00:19,308
Oh, so documenting the way our child
9
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,148
is coming into this world is wrong?
10
00:00:21,149 --> 00:00:21,985
We have to document it
11
00:00:21,986 --> 00:00:23,906
by dressing up
as Alvin and the Chipmunks?
12
00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:27,283
It's my favorite show,
and Glenn is such a Theodore.
13
00:00:27,285 --> 00:00:28,784
Yeah, I'm not a star.
14
00:00:28,786 --> 00:00:30,486
I'm more supportive, and, of course,
15
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,455
Jerusha is such a Simon.
16
00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:34,323
Well, I wear contact lenses now.
17
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,292
Hey, guys, I'm sorry. We have 15 minutes
18
00:00:36,294 --> 00:00:38,160
left in the session,
so we're gonna need to...
19
00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:39,378
Okay, sorry, Dill.
20
00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,464
All right, look, Dina, just smile,
21
00:00:41,466 --> 00:00:43,020
and I'll give you 50 bucks.
22
00:00:43,302 --> 00:00:44,500
Fine.
23
00:00:44,846 --> 00:00:46,813
But I want to be Theodore.
24
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:51,474
Fine! I'll be stupid Alvin...
25
00:00:51,476 --> 00:00:52,808
who can't follow rules
26
00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:54,977
and always gets everyone in trouble.
27
00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:56,479
Okay.
28
00:00:56,481 --> 00:00:58,180
Big smiles, everyone.
29
00:00:58,182 --> 00:00:59,849
[camera beeps, shutter clicks]
30
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,484
Dina, you could show less teeth.
31
00:01:01,486 --> 00:01:02,902
You get none or all of them, Dill.
32
00:01:02,904 --> 00:01:04,654
Pick a speed.
33
00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:07,657
[upbeat music]
34
00:01:07,659 --> 00:01:09,525
♪
35
00:01:16,813 --> 00:01:19,418
Aw, you're gonna make a great mom.
36
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,587
I'm just checking to see
if this baby stuff is safe.
37
00:01:21,993 --> 00:01:24,757
Why? Returned baby items
all get destroyed anyway.
38
00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:27,009
And it will be destroyed
in about two to three years
39
00:01:27,011 --> 00:01:28,849
after my baby is done using it.
40
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:30,579
Ah, so you're stealing it.
41
00:01:31,143 --> 00:01:32,289
No, I'm not stealing it.
42
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:34,433
You can't steal something
that's about to be destroyed.
43
00:01:34,435 --> 00:01:37,687
That's like if somebody's
dying and then you kill them.
44
00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:38,938
Is that murder?
45
00:01:39,285 --> 00:01:40,556
That's exactly what that is.
46
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,274
Well, baby stuff is really expensive,
47
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,443
and it's not like I can reuse
anything I used with Emma.
48
00:01:44,445 --> 00:01:47,229
Did you know that car seats expire?
49
00:01:47,231 --> 00:01:48,864
It's plastic and metal.
50
00:01:48,866 --> 00:01:52,401
- Can you hit the light, please?
- Yeah.
51
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,370
- Oh.
- Both: Ew.
52
00:01:54,372 --> 00:01:57,199
Do you think that's urine or semen?
53
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:00,544
Which one of those would be okay?
54
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,962
I never thought of myself as photogenic,
55
00:02:02,964 --> 00:02:06,636
but Dill really knows how
to strengthen a collapsed chin.
56
00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:09,468
So, in this one, you guys are chefs
57
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:10,966
waiting to eat the baby?
58
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:14,056
Yeah, but it's just a goof.
We don't really want to eat it.
59
00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:15,641
This one's a mystery.
60
00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:17,893
Who's really the pregnant one?
61
00:02:17,895 --> 00:02:19,780
I'm sorry, hold up. I got to go back.
62
00:02:19,781 --> 00:02:22,898
Wouldn't the chefs be preparing
the food, not waiting to eat it?
63
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,434
Well, there... Dina...
64
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:28,604
maybe Dina's a new chef,
and we're taste-testing
65
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,072
to see if we'd hire her.
66
00:02:30,074 --> 00:02:32,608
And if you don't like
the taste of the baby...
67
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,443
I don't know. We throw it away?
68
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,329
What, you'd throw your
half-eaten baby in the trash?
69
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,749
Okay, I don't know!
We didn't really talk about it!
70
00:02:39,751 --> 00:02:41,333
- [sighs]
- [scoffs]
71
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,585
Make sure to highlight my elbows.
72
00:02:42,587 --> 00:02:44,003
They're my best feature.
73
00:02:44,005 --> 00:02:45,921
Why didn't you just get
Glenn's photographer
74
00:02:45,923 --> 00:02:47,423
to take your Christmas card
photo while you were there?
75
00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:49,254
He was supposed to,
but then he got a call
76
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:50,926
from his wife... something
about a house fire?
77
00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:52,595
I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.
78
00:02:52,597 --> 00:02:55,519
I-I just want a card that
will blow my ugly sister
79
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,099
Denise's card out of the water.
80
00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,634
The one with restless leg syndrome?
81
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,054
That's not what makes her ugly, Sandra.
82
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,604
That's what makes her legs restless.
83
00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,939
So then you just decided
to go with this setup?
84
00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:06,942
Hmm. Okay.
85
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:09,683
What... what's wrong with it?
It's the tree, isn't it?
86
00:03:09,685 --> 00:03:12,353
The tree sucks, right?
Sandra picked out the tree.
87
00:03:12,355 --> 00:03:14,642
It's October, so there
weren't a lot of choices.
88
00:03:14,643 --> 00:03:15,276
[chuckles mockingly]
89
00:03:15,276 --> 00:03:18,887
It's just feeling very
2003 Sears strip mall,
90
00:03:18,888 --> 00:03:21,615
- if that makes any sense.
- Uh, that makes perfect sense.
91
00:03:21,616 --> 00:03:23,545
I would just make it less bad,
92
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,466
if that makes any sense.
93
00:03:26,035 --> 00:03:27,433
- Uh-huh.
- Like, what if...
94
00:03:27,937 --> 00:03:29,954
"Miracle on 34th Street" took place
95
00:03:29,956 --> 00:03:31,773
on the first day of the L.A. riots?
96
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:33,917
Let's find out.
97
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,878
[light Muzak playing over speakers]
98
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,297
[keys clacking, scanner beeps]
99
00:03:40,838 --> 00:03:42,648
Oh, wow, cute car seat.
100
00:03:42,649 --> 00:03:44,385
Most moms are afraid to buy this one
101
00:03:44,387 --> 00:03:46,337
because of the safety
issues, but I love it.
102
00:03:46,339 --> 00:03:47,562
What safety issues?
103
00:03:47,563 --> 00:03:48,970
Oh, you don't know?
104
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:50,995
Well, just that, like, in an accident,
105
00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:53,344
it's prone to, um, what's the word...
106
00:03:53,346 --> 00:03:54,345
crumpling?
107
00:03:54,347 --> 00:03:55,391
It's kind of a mess.
108
00:03:55,392 --> 00:03:58,573
They... they found babies just
littered on the pavement.
109
00:03:58,574 --> 00:04:01,255
Sometimes they're just lying there...
110
00:04:02,155 --> 00:04:03,521
inside out.
111
00:04:03,522 --> 00:04:05,237
Oh, my God. Are they dead?
112
00:04:06,409 --> 00:04:10,018
Well, they're inside out, so I hope so.
113
00:04:10,496 --> 00:04:11,738
But if that makes you uncomfortable,
114
00:04:11,739 --> 00:04:14,740
you could always return this
one for a safer car seat.
115
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,158
Oh, no, it's fine.
116
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,379
It's just a gift for my stupid neighbor.
117
00:04:20,835 --> 00:04:22,135
Inside-out babies?
118
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,651
Yeah, that one got away
from me... it went a little dark.
119
00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:27,179
Okay, well, I have an idea.
120
00:04:27,257 --> 00:04:29,707
- You're probably gonna hate it.
- Love that confidence.
121
00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:32,043
I'm making you a baby shower registry.
122
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,762
Ew. God, no. I hate baby showers.
123
00:04:34,764 --> 00:04:38,171
I hate the... the stupid games
and the... the dumb decorations
124
00:04:38,171 --> 00:04:39,685
and people touching your belly, saying,
125
00:04:39,686 --> 00:04:41,686
"Oh, my God. You're so
big," as if that's a thing
126
00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:43,138
you're allowed to say to
people, which it's not.
127
00:04:43,139 --> 00:04:46,024
Okay, well, I'm not saying you
actually have the baby shower,
128
00:04:46,026 --> 00:04:48,359
but if you create a registry,
then tomorrow
129
00:04:48,361 --> 00:04:50,945
when your "baby shower" is over,
130
00:04:50,947 --> 00:04:53,865
you can get everything
on the registry for 20% off.
131
00:04:54,318 --> 00:04:55,886
No, that's not gonna work.
132
00:04:56,569 --> 00:04:58,689
Yeah, what if... hmm...
133
00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:01,372
There's a small chance
this might be a good idea.
134
00:05:01,374 --> 00:05:03,207
Right? Plus, you get
the little welcome box
135
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,576
with the diapers and
the wipes and stuff...
136
00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:06,390
all free.
137
00:05:07,299 --> 00:05:08,134
Damn it.
138
00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:10,214
I really want to hate this
idea, but I'm into it.
139
00:05:10,216 --> 00:05:13,041
- I know. I'm sorry.
- [sighs] So annoying.
140
00:05:14,958 --> 00:05:16,767
This doesn't seem Christmas-y.
141
00:05:16,768 --> 00:05:19,640
So the idea there is
post-apocalyptic Christmas.
142
00:05:19,642 --> 00:05:21,259
Like, what if the Grinch had succeeded
143
00:05:21,261 --> 00:05:23,895
in conquering Whoville
and Cindy Lou Who grew up,
144
00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:25,763
got boobs, and was leading a resistance?
145
00:05:25,765 --> 00:05:28,266
Like, not that exactly,
but in that area.
146
00:05:28,268 --> 00:05:30,234
I don't want to be insulting,
147
00:05:30,236 --> 00:05:33,237
but are we sure that idea
is not just pure gay nonsense?
148
00:05:33,619 --> 00:05:35,106
[clears throat] Dina...
149
00:05:35,108 --> 00:05:37,158
I am trying to give you
something original,
150
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,943
something that will make ugly Denise
151
00:05:38,945 --> 00:05:40,111
want to walk into the ocean.
152
00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:41,779
Can you please just trust me?
153
00:05:41,781 --> 00:05:43,418
Honestly, that's gonna be tough.
154
00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:46,084
I've always had this weird thing
about people with glasses.
155
00:05:46,086 --> 00:05:48,119
When I was younger,
a nearsighted man bit me.
156
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:49,921
You know what? It's a long story.
157
00:05:49,923 --> 00:05:52,425
I-I got hep A. I'm okay now, but...
158
00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:54,292
[sighs]
159
00:05:54,294 --> 00:05:56,761
All right, let's see what else you got.
160
00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:59,130
Okay, this next outfit
answers the question,
161
00:05:59,132 --> 00:06:02,016
what if Cogsworth
from "Beauty and the Beast"...
162
00:06:02,018 --> 00:06:03,169
was a hot tween?
163
00:06:03,937 --> 00:06:06,631
I haven't heard from
my parents since the volcano.
164
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,639
I'm starting to get a little worried.
165
00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:09,600
You're so lucky.
166
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,830
Bo's mom calls, like, all the time.
167
00:06:12,779 --> 00:06:13,876
[computer beeps]
168
00:06:14,864 --> 00:06:16,199
Oh, my God. What?
169
00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:19,976
Amy, why didn't you tell me you
were having a baby shower?
170
00:06:19,977 --> 00:06:21,668
What? No, I'm... I'm not.
171
00:06:21,669 --> 00:06:23,955
Then why did your registry
pop up on the system?
172
00:06:23,957 --> 00:06:25,656
It says your shower's today.
173
00:06:25,658 --> 00:06:27,658
Here's your complimentary gift box.
174
00:06:28,995 --> 00:06:30,995
Hmm. It's smaller
than I thought it'd be.
175
00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,713
Wait, Amy's having a baby shower?
176
00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:34,799
- Mm-hmm.
- Why wasn't I invited?
177
00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,000
None of us were.
178
00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:37,694
Okay, look, what happened was,
179
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:40,304
I actually had a really smart idea...
180
00:06:40,306 --> 00:06:42,173
Okay, please, I find
that hard to believe.
181
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:44,308
- So did I.
- Sarah, Sayid...
182
00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:46,863
Amy's throwing a baby shower,
and none of were invited.
183
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:47,979
What the hell, Amy?
184
00:06:47,981 --> 00:06:49,680
Sayid, you started, like, two days ago.
185
00:06:49,682 --> 00:06:51,816
Well, I'm having a pool party
this weekend,
186
00:06:51,818 --> 00:06:53,361
and you're not invited.
187
00:06:53,853 --> 00:06:55,820
Sarah, Sayid, you coming
to my pool party?
188
00:06:55,822 --> 00:06:56,947
I don't want to go.
189
00:06:57,690 --> 00:06:59,323
I want to go to Amy's baby shower.
190
00:06:59,325 --> 00:07:00,929
She doesn't want us!
191
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:03,811
♪
192
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:07,734
Why can't I just delete the registry?
193
00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:11,071
Tap... tap the screen harder.
That'll do it.
194
00:07:11,073 --> 00:07:12,372
I have another idea,
195
00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:14,479
and there's a chance
you may not love it.
196
00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:16,349
Oh, I don't see how that
could possibly be true.
197
00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:19,519
What if you did have a baby shower?
198
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,053
I'm not saying some big,
elaborate party, okay?
199
00:07:22,054 --> 00:07:24,657
Just, like, a quick ten-minute
thing in the break room...
200
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:27,744
no games, no belly touching,
no one feels excluded,
201
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:29,696
and you get a bunch of gifts.
202
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:31,531
Well, obviously I like the gifts part.
203
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:33,366
The gifts part is not the problem.
204
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:35,034
How much is that Pack 'n Play?
205
00:07:35,036 --> 00:07:37,754
80? Eh, I guess that's not that bad.
206
00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:39,422
[scoffs]
207
00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:41,708
Well, I mean, at this point,
208
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:43,716
it feels like people
would be disappointed
209
00:07:43,717 --> 00:07:45,155
if I didn't have the shower.
210
00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:47,550
This party-loving group? For sure.
211
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:50,316
And, really, who am I to take
a party away from them?
212
00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:51,996
You're a good friend.
213
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:54,326
Yeah.
214
00:07:54,327 --> 00:07:56,906
Yes, now just reach out
and touch the polar bear, okay?
215
00:07:56,907 --> 00:07:57,750
You're not afraid.
216
00:07:57,751 --> 00:08:00,097
He just ate a seal
so he's not gonna eat you.
217
00:08:00,098 --> 00:08:02,385
Like... like this?
218
00:08:02,386 --> 00:08:03,797
- Yes!
- [Camera shutter clicks]
219
00:08:03,798 --> 00:08:06,759
Ah, now try smiling, but only using
your eyes and ears.
220
00:08:07,557 --> 00:08:10,747
Yes, bitch! You are killing it. Oh!
221
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,995
Okay.
222
00:08:12,997 --> 00:08:14,433
[sighs] What do you think?
223
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:16,696
[laughs] Wow.
224
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,001
These pictures make me jealous
225
00:08:18,002 --> 00:08:19,913
of everyone I've ever had sex with.
226
00:08:19,914 --> 00:08:21,777
- Mm-hmm.
- What do you think? Should we...
227
00:08:21,778 --> 00:08:23,013
take a couple more?
228
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,161
I'm very comfortable with nudity.
229
00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:28,345
It was just gonna be a
small thing with family,
230
00:08:28,346 --> 00:08:30,233
so I didn't want to tell anybody,
231
00:08:30,234 --> 00:08:32,013
but then I realized
232
00:08:32,014 --> 00:08:34,936
that you guys are like my second family.
233
00:08:34,937 --> 00:08:37,332
Aw, like the one that my dad has.
234
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,212
Kind of. Yeah.
235
00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,523
So, you know, it's just gonna be
236
00:08:41,525 --> 00:08:43,668
a real quick little thing
in the break room here...
237
00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:48,628
just a fast, quick,
easy, not-long shower.
238
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,419
That sounds amazing.
239
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,418
What's your hand size?
240
00:08:52,961 --> 00:08:54,683
Uh, w-why?
241
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,867
Well, I've been getting into
making fancy lady gloves lately.
242
00:08:58,555 --> 00:09:00,353
I think I have one I can show you.
243
00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:01,707
Oh, uh...
244
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,530
For my gift, I don't think I can fit
your entire name on a piece of rice,
245
00:09:05,531 --> 00:09:08,717
but I do think I can probably
get an A on there.
246
00:09:08,718 --> 00:09:11,795
Or just give her three pieces of rice.
247
00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:13,033
No, guys, all of this sounds like
248
00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:15,436
a lot of work for what is, again,
249
00:09:15,437 --> 00:09:19,497
a small, fast, quick,
little, not-big-deal shower.
250
00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:22,115
So you guys can just grab
something off the registry,
251
00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:23,287
anything... doesn't even matter what.
252
00:09:23,288 --> 00:09:26,221
It's like, I think there's
still a car seat on there.
253
00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:27,205
Here it is.
254
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,466
- Oh.
- Just imagine your hand in it.
255
00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:35,616
Just have it say, uh,
"congrats on the baby."
256
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,203
You have five bucks?
I can do curses for you.
257
00:09:39,717 --> 00:09:42,541
I-I think just, uh, what I said is good.
258
00:09:43,492 --> 00:09:44,879
Hey.
259
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,138
I heard Amy's having a baby shower.
260
00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:49,554
Ah, well, it's barely a shower.
261
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:52,448
It's a... it's a trickle.
It's a baby trickle.
262
00:09:52,449 --> 00:09:54,058
That sounds wonderful.
263
00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:58,505
Hey, you know who likes baby showers?
264
00:09:58,506 --> 00:09:59,328
Jerusha.
265
00:10:00,821 --> 00:10:02,168
Yeah, well, you...
266
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,825
you guys should totally
have one, you know.
267
00:10:04,826 --> 00:10:06,035
Yeah, it's just that we haven't
268
00:10:06,036 --> 00:10:09,111
really had time
to plan anything for the baby,
269
00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:10,626
'cause, you know, I've been in the weeds
270
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,396
trying to set up the Nest Cam.
271
00:10:13,064 --> 00:10:15,707
It keeps picking up a feed
from another baby...
272
00:10:16,261 --> 00:10:17,616
or a ghost.
273
00:10:18,354 --> 00:10:21,259
W-well, if you need help
with the Nest Cam...
274
00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:22,379
Yeah, it just...
275
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:26,270
God, if there was another baby shower
276
00:10:26,271 --> 00:10:28,346
that was happening already
277
00:10:28,347 --> 00:10:30,287
that we could piggyback on,
278
00:10:30,288 --> 00:10:31,879
that would be so...
279
00:10:32,603 --> 00:10:33,491
great.
280
00:10:34,661 --> 00:10:36,471
Yeah, well... [stuttering]
281
00:10:36,472 --> 00:10:38,008
And, believe me, I would say,
282
00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:40,119
uh, you guys should
join this one, but...
283
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:41,764
That's a great idea. Oh, my...
284
00:10:42,127 --> 00:10:44,178
Oh, my God. Jerush'a gonna be so happy.
285
00:10:44,179 --> 00:10:45,895
Right, but it's... it's just,
like, a quick, little,
286
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,629
ten-minute thing in the
break room after work.
287
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:50,111
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it's a double baby shower.
288
00:10:50,112 --> 00:10:51,657
The break room's not big enough.
289
00:10:51,658 --> 00:10:53,916
You're gonna need space
for the chocolate fountain
290
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,719
and the balloon arch and the juice luge.
291
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,422
- Hey, honey?
- No, that...
292
00:10:58,423 --> 00:10:59,479
Guess what.
293
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,196
You're a young girl from Nazareth.
294
00:11:01,197 --> 00:11:02,440
You're pregnant with Jesus,
295
00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:04,540
and you're trying to make
a go of it in a new city.
296
00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:05,980
- But you're lost!
- Oh.
297
00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:07,359
You're lost in New York!
298
00:11:08,061 --> 00:11:10,069
Let me know if this is too much!
299
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,683
No, it's good!
300
00:11:11,684 --> 00:11:13,809
I feel like I'm European!
301
00:11:13,811 --> 00:11:14,778
What?
302
00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:17,887
I'm having a really good time with you!
303
00:11:18,856 --> 00:11:20,473
Okay.
304
00:11:20,474 --> 00:11:21,985
This really has nothing
to do with Christmas,
305
00:11:21,986 --> 00:11:24,403
but it's very important
to me that we do this.
306
00:11:24,405 --> 00:11:25,792
[camera beeps, shutter clicks]
307
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,008
Hey, what's up, Dina?
308
00:11:27,009 --> 00:11:29,219
I need you to sign this, uh...
309
00:11:31,193 --> 00:11:32,470
- Sign what?
- What?
310
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,260
Garrett, please. This is a hot set!
311
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,822
Oh, yeah. No, I know. It's just...
312
00:11:36,823 --> 00:11:38,472
Yeah, I'm gonna... I'm cool.
313
00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:41,284
- Garrett!
- Huh?
314
00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:43,426
Oh, yeah.
315
00:11:43,427 --> 00:11:44,515
No worries, I'm out of here.
316
00:11:44,516 --> 00:11:46,758
- Oh.
- [Clatter]
317
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,496
[chuckles] All right, well,
I'll see y'all later.
318
00:11:49,497 --> 00:11:51,024
[chuckles] Hang ten.
319
00:11:52,516 --> 00:11:55,192
- Just something small, huh?
- I felt guilty.
320
00:11:55,193 --> 00:11:56,982
You know I have too much empathy.
321
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,930
Jerusha's friends are the creepiest.
322
00:11:59,321 --> 00:12:00,820
Don't you remember the shrimp boil?
323
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,071
There was all that mouth kissing.
324
00:12:02,072 --> 00:12:03,688
- There was.
- Yeah.
325
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,443
I can't believe this.
326
00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:08,026
I was pregnant, and no one
threw me a baby shower,
327
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,360
and now Jerusha gets one?
328
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,862
And she doesn't even work here.
329
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,196
Why don't you join this one?
330
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,029
I could add your name to the sign.
331
00:12:14,685 --> 00:12:16,751
I mean, you already have the kid.
332
00:12:16,753 --> 00:12:18,252
She already has the kid,
so she doesn't want to...
333
00:12:18,254 --> 00:12:20,672
No. No. That'd be awesome.
334
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:23,576
Really, Cheyenne?
I mean, it's barely a shower.
335
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,926
There aren't gonna be any games.
336
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:26,377
Oh, I can handle the games.
337
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,212
I know, like, a million good ones,
338
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,882
and Bo knows a guy who
owns a bunch of storks.
339
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,216
I don't know if that's helpful,
340
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,218
but when they get drunk, it's hilarious.
341
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,204
Super helpful.
342
00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:37,889
Oh, this party's gonna be sick!
343
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,807
Yeah!
344
00:12:41,481 --> 00:12:44,816
[indistinct chatter,
pop music playing over speakers]
345
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:49,638
Look at all the food
and different-colored cups.
346
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,971
This is really special.
347
00:12:51,973 --> 00:12:53,139
Yep, and all the people.
348
00:12:53,746 --> 00:12:55,894
- So many people.
- Yeah, of course.
349
00:12:55,895 --> 00:12:57,631
I mean, well, between you
350
00:12:57,633 --> 00:13:00,284
and Cheyenne and Jerusha and Diane.
351
00:13:00,286 --> 00:13:01,585
Diane?
352
00:13:01,586 --> 00:13:03,908
You remember Diane from the shrimp boil.
353
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,760
I told her she could share our shower.
354
00:13:05,761 --> 00:13:07,391
I hope that's okay.
355
00:13:07,393 --> 00:13:08,399
Diane!
356
00:13:08,965 --> 00:13:11,145
- Yoo-hoo.
- Amy!
357
00:13:11,147 --> 00:13:12,989
- Hi! [Giggles]
- Hi.
358
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:14,289
Ooh.
359
00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:17,268
Thank you so much for including me.
360
00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:20,271
Oh, my gosh, look at your belly.
361
00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:22,106
- Yep.
- You've really popped.
362
00:13:22,108 --> 00:13:22,910
Mm-hmm.
363
00:13:22,911 --> 00:13:24,098
Let's see if I can find
364
00:13:24,099 --> 00:13:25,553
your belly button on the first try.
365
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,704
- Oh.
- Am I close?
366
00:13:27,705 --> 00:13:29,510
No.
367
00:13:29,511 --> 00:13:32,833
- Do me next!
- Oh! Yeah...
368
00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:35,836
[muffled pop music playing]
369
00:13:35,838 --> 00:13:37,421
♪
370
00:13:37,423 --> 00:13:41,834
Placen-tacos. Caesarian salad.
371
00:13:41,835 --> 00:13:43,686
Amniocen-Cheez-Its?
372
00:13:43,687 --> 00:13:45,756
Why does every food need a theme name?
373
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:48,132
Baby Boy Wieners? Why even write that?
374
00:13:48,134 --> 00:13:49,777
- [chuckles]
- It's better with no sign.
375
00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:52,603
Yo, what's up? Check out this
dad-to-be loading up on snacks.
376
00:13:52,604 --> 00:13:54,805
Got to keep that energy up,
right, know what I'm saying?
377
00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:56,193
- No idea what you're saying.
- What?
378
00:13:56,194 --> 00:13:58,859
Talking about J-Man here.
Congrats on that baby, dog.
379
00:13:58,861 --> 00:13:59,972
What's up? You know what?
380
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,574
Babies, they're the best, okay?
381
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,924
You can, like, sit 'em down
and write stuff all over 'em.
382
00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,291
They can't do nothing about it.
383
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:07,318
Oh, yeah. No, I'm not the...
384
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,153
[whispering] It's... it's Adam.
385
00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:11,518
Nah, but I saw that clip
of two boning on the Internet.
386
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:12,720
You know what I'm saying? Wow!
387
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,687
- Yeah.
- [imitates whip cracking]
388
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,416
She... she was already pregnant.
389
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:19,496
Whoa! What if you got her
double pregnant?
390
00:14:19,498 --> 00:14:21,397
Well, that's not really possible.
391
00:14:21,398 --> 00:14:23,696
Well, we don't know it's impossible.
392
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,677
Yeah, that's true.
We don't know know that
393
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:28,150
I didn't get Amy double pregnant.
394
00:14:28,151 --> 00:14:29,890
I bet those babies are
all up in Amy's stomach
395
00:14:29,892 --> 00:14:30,812
just fighting it out.
396
00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,003
Like, "Yo, baby, I was here first."
397
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,196
[imitates blows landing]
398
00:14:34,197 --> 00:14:35,779
"Give me that freakin'
umbilical cord, dog."
399
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,732
[imitates slurping]
I'ma slurp it all up.
400
00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,858
[camera beeps, shutter clicking]
401
00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:42,107
And we got it.
402
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,239
[sighs] Great work, everyone.
403
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:47,002
Darren, I will see you
Friday night at Zippers.
404
00:14:48,694 --> 00:14:50,756
Okay, what do you think? [Grunts]
405
00:14:51,414 --> 00:14:54,868
Oh, wow. I look like
a hot, glowing Stanley Tucci.
406
00:14:54,869 --> 00:14:57,034
- Yeah.
- Sorry, redundant much, Dina.
407
00:14:57,036 --> 00:14:59,473
- [chuckles] I know right.
- So do you think we've got it?
408
00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:00,658
These are good,
409
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:03,147
but I have one more really great idea.
410
00:15:03,994 --> 00:15:05,389
Might seem a little crazy.
411
00:15:06,262 --> 00:15:07,462
Do you trust me?
412
00:15:09,462 --> 00:15:12,730
We're so lucky that Darren had
this harness in his trunk, huh?
413
00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:14,030
This is awesome.
414
00:15:14,031 --> 00:15:15,535
Last but not least,
415
00:15:15,536 --> 00:15:18,621
I need to thank my Uber driver, Dmitri,
416
00:15:18,622 --> 00:15:21,364
for getting me here
from Ponderosa so quickly.
417
00:15:21,718 --> 00:15:24,460
If I could've given you
six stars, I would have.
418
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,629
That was just beautiful, Jerusha.
419
00:15:28,630 --> 00:15:30,329
- Huh? Yeah.
- [Applause]
420
00:15:31,971 --> 00:15:33,802
Now I'm gonna pass the mic around
421
00:15:33,803 --> 00:15:37,124
so that everyone has
a chance to say something.
422
00:15:37,126 --> 00:15:39,094
Dmitri, would you like to kick us off?
423
00:15:39,095 --> 00:15:40,534
Actually, um...
424
00:15:41,247 --> 00:15:44,420
how about we keep
this party train rolling,
425
00:15:44,829 --> 00:15:47,714
and next stop is the gifts.
426
00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,432
Choo-choo.
427
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:53,057
Okay, somebody knows I love trains.
428
00:15:53,059 --> 00:15:56,326
But gifts are like the caboose.
They always come at the...
429
00:15:57,239 --> 00:15:57,894
End!
430
00:15:57,895 --> 00:16:02,908
But what if we shake
it up and do it now?
431
00:16:02,909 --> 00:16:05,600
Who wants to get crazy?
432
00:16:06,605 --> 00:16:08,272
- Amy.
- Sayid.
433
00:16:08,274 --> 00:16:10,316
Mental illness is not a joke.
434
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:12,137
Jerusha's cousin is crazy.
435
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,748
He ate all of his fingernails off.
436
00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:17,273
This is getting boring, yo. Sleep-sleep!
437
00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:18,969
Yeah, let's play games!
438
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,457
Ah, seeing as you're husband-less,
439
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:23,549
do you want your partner
to be Dmitri or... or Jonah?
440
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,290
[sighs]
441
00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:28,509
[all shouting]
442
00:16:28,511 --> 00:16:30,767
This is nice and humiliating.
I know. I'm sorry.
443
00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:32,463
Could you spread your legs?
444
00:16:32,465 --> 00:16:34,242
I'm having trouble getting in the...
445
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,596
uh, the undercarriage.
446
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,270
- I'll go around. [Clears throat]
- Yeah.
447
00:16:40,272 --> 00:16:42,606
Yeah, dip, dip, dip!
That's right. That's right.
448
00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:45,809
My baby's getting all
the nipples. What, what!
449
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:46,873
Yeah!
450
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,041
Jerusha? Jerusha, are you okay?
451
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,155
Can someone check on Jeru...
Jerusha can't swim!
452
00:16:51,156 --> 00:16:54,068
Okay, there we go.
453
00:16:54,922 --> 00:16:57,152
Oh, God, what flavor is that?
454
00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:59,370
It's peas and... Oh, it's expired.
455
00:16:59,371 --> 00:17:01,992
Uh, don't eat the baby food.
The baby food is bad.
456
00:17:01,994 --> 00:17:03,409
- It's bad.
- [Gagging]
457
00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:06,463
- [all cheering]
- There he is!
458
00:17:06,465 --> 00:17:08,499
Come one, Glenn! You can do it!
459
00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:10,467
Whoo, Glenn, you won!
460
00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:13,337
That's my big, strong daddy!
Oh, no, no, no, hell, no.
461
00:17:13,338 --> 00:17:15,955
You knocked over that cone back
there, dog... I want a rematch.
462
00:17:15,956 --> 00:17:18,636
No, no, no, it's... it's okay.
Let's calm down.
463
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,071
It's just a game.
What? Just a game, huh?
464
00:17:21,072 --> 00:17:22,679
Just a game this, all right?
465
00:17:22,681 --> 00:17:24,648
Well... hey, Bo.
466
00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:27,151
- Bo.
- [All gasping]
467
00:17:27,153 --> 00:17:29,570
['80s pop music playing over speakers]
468
00:17:29,572 --> 00:17:33,185
♪
469
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:36,159
And Kevin knew they were gonna
rob Mr. Duncan's toy store,
470
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,633
so we threw a rock through the window.
471
00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:39,969
I can't believe his mom
forgot him again.
472
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:42,275
Ugh. You know, some women just
shouldn't be parents.
473
00:17:42,276 --> 00:17:43,508
There, I said it.
474
00:17:44,253 --> 00:17:45,717
- [camera beeps]
- Oh.
475
00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:47,566
I need a new memory card. BRB.
476
00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:51,878
- ♪ And the bee drank tea ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
477
00:17:51,879 --> 00:17:55,858
- ♪ And the snake ate cake ♪
- ♪ Yeah, slither, slither ♪
478
00:17:55,859 --> 00:17:57,347
♪ Boom, yeah ♪
479
00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:59,349
This party is never going to end.
480
00:17:59,351 --> 00:18:01,218
And I don't even care
about the gifts anymore.
481
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:04,211
I just want to get out of here.
How do we get out of here?
482
00:18:04,212 --> 00:18:06,648
- You could go into labor.
- I've been trying.
483
00:18:07,443 --> 00:18:09,204
Excuse me, I have a delivery here.
484
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:12,894
Oh, I didn't know we had
a delivery scheduled for today.
485
00:18:12,895 --> 00:18:16,145
You know what?
Actually, that is my delivery.
486
00:18:16,146 --> 00:18:17,477
I have been waiting for that.
487
00:18:17,478 --> 00:18:19,469
Amy, are you sure?
488
00:18:19,470 --> 00:18:22,434
You haven't even had your
caricature done by Diane yet.
489
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:25,154
Oh, uh, yeah, I'm sure.
490
00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:27,295
So I'll see you guys tomorrow.
491
00:18:27,296 --> 00:18:29,079
Thank you, everyone,
for coming to the party.
492
00:18:29,081 --> 00:18:29,943
It means so much.
493
00:18:29,944 --> 00:18:31,794
Jonah, if you could grab
the gifts on the way out.
494
00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:33,128
We can go handle this in the warehouse.
495
00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:33,749
Oh, that's okay.
496
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,494
We can just take care of it
right here. Did you order...
497
00:18:37,169 --> 00:18:38,715
- a baby?
- Oh.
498
00:18:39,258 --> 00:18:42,178
- [crowd cheers]
- No, I did not order...
499
00:18:42,179 --> 00:18:44,186
- This was not me.
- Yeah, I know,
500
00:18:44,187 --> 00:18:46,399
'cause I ordered this baby
stripper for Cheyenne, yo.
501
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,672
Amy, you got to Venmo me
half of this, okay?
502
00:18:48,673 --> 00:18:49,988
Do babies do that?
503
00:18:49,989 --> 00:18:53,155
Okay, that's... could you...
504
00:18:53,156 --> 00:18:56,273
- Oh, what's this?
- [sighs]
505
00:18:56,959 --> 00:18:59,844
[sultry hip-hop music playing
over speakers]
506
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:02,349
I still think this was a good idea.
507
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:03,468
Mm-hmm.
508
00:19:03,946 --> 00:19:06,914
- I mean, I-I'm enjoying myself.
- Oh, well, good.
509
00:19:06,916 --> 00:19:08,582
I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
510
00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:10,050
- [chuckles]
- It was all worth it.
511
00:19:10,052 --> 00:19:12,775
Uh-oh, I think it's tummy time.
512
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,655
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, yes it is.
513
00:19:14,657 --> 00:19:16,123
- Oh, no, no...
- Now I'm having a good time.
514
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:18,625
I thought he was...
No, I'm... I'm good. Thanks.
515
00:19:18,627 --> 00:19:20,127
You're... that's...
516
00:19:20,129 --> 00:19:23,130
So how did the rest
of the photo shoot go with Dina?
517
00:19:23,132 --> 00:19:24,098
Sounds good.
518
00:19:25,718 --> 00:19:27,165
Mateo!
519
00:19:27,937 --> 00:19:29,142
Can you hear me?
520
00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:32,502
I trust you, but I really need to pee.
521
00:19:33,776 --> 00:19:36,610
This quaint little village
is about to get flooded.
522
00:19:36,612 --> 00:19:38,388
What could this one be?
523
00:19:39,648 --> 00:19:41,815
Oh, thank you, Sayid.
524
00:19:41,817 --> 00:19:43,317
It is Amy with a Y, though.
525
00:19:43,319 --> 00:19:45,486
It's not my fault. We just met.
526
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,369
That is very true. Yeah.
527
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:49,868
Uh, I will just...
I'll put this my other...
528
00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:51,689
wood.
529
00:19:52,665 --> 00:19:55,329
Okay, well,
I think that was the last one,
530
00:19:55,331 --> 00:19:58,332
so thank you all so much for my gifts.
531
00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:00,000
It was really nice of you...
532
00:20:00,002 --> 00:20:01,620
Oh, wait, you forgot ours.
533
00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:04,445
Oh, uh, an embroidered badger.
534
00:20:04,446 --> 00:20:04,955
Awesome.
535
00:20:04,956 --> 00:20:07,007
Oh, no, no, no, this is for Diane.
536
00:20:07,009 --> 00:20:10,337
Sorry, we just got you
something off the registry.
537
00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:12,619
Oh, my God. It's the car seat.
538
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:15,024
You can swap with Diane if you want.
539
00:20:15,025 --> 00:20:19,019
No, no! No. No, no, I, um...
I actually really like this.
540
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:21,421
Not that I didn't like this stuff,
541
00:20:21,422 --> 00:20:22,870
although some of it was garbage.
542
00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:24,363
Not, like, trash garbage.
543
00:20:24,364 --> 00:20:25,763
Just, like, I can actually use this,
544
00:20:25,764 --> 00:20:26,692
and I really, really love it.
545
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,871
- Oh, good.
- Thank you so much.
546
00:20:28,872 --> 00:20:29,761
Thank you.
547
00:20:30,866 --> 00:20:32,699
[indistinct chatter]
548
00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:34,983
So how long have you guys been dating?
549
00:20:35,704 --> 00:20:36,927
Who? No... What?
550
00:20:37,289 --> 00:20:39,039
That's... Uh-uh.
551
00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:40,924
That's not... Why would you...
552
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,299
How did you know?
553
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:48,148
You just seem really happy
for the first time in a while.
554
00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:50,184
- Huh.
- I'm playing, man.
555
00:20:50,186 --> 00:20:52,352
I saw you guys making out
in the parking lot last week.
556
00:20:52,354 --> 00:20:54,855
- Congratulations, though.
- [Sighs]
557
00:20:54,857 --> 00:20:59,026
[Dina grunting, train whistle blows]
558
00:20:59,028 --> 00:21:00,994
Sandra! Sandra!
559
00:21:00,996 --> 00:21:03,197
Oh, finally. Come get me down.
560
00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:05,866
Oh, thank God. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
561
00:21:05,868 --> 00:21:07,367
[exhales sharply]
562
00:21:07,369 --> 00:21:08,164
Oh, no.
563
00:21:08,626 --> 00:21:10,754
Are you serious?
564
00:21:10,756 --> 00:21:14,254
Oh, I respect you as much
as I hate you right now.
565
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:16,770
Oh. Sandra!
566
00:21:16,771 --> 00:21:20,184
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
41515
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