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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,234 --> 00:00:08,960 Okay! 2 00:00:09,031 --> 00:00:12,699 This next song goes out to Emma and Amy's new guinea pig, 3 00:00:12,802 --> 00:00:15,232 P-P-P-Pickle! 4 00:00:15,274 --> 00:00:18,029 Go, Pickle! 5 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,761 Crank up the fog, Miggy! 6 00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:22,387 I'm about to teach Pickle the Eastside Stomp. 7 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,822 I got you! 8 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:33,230 Ladies! 9 00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:35,266 Homemade, gluten-free, butterscotch cookies 10 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,062 shaped like every kind of cloud while you wait? 11 00:00:37,086 --> 00:00:39,194 No, thanks. I gotta take Graham to basketball sign-up. 12 00:00:39,218 --> 00:00:40,648 I thought he wasn't doing basketball because 13 00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:42,675 - he wanted to do the spelling bee. - No. 14 00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:43,847 He's psyched. 15 00:00:43,949 --> 00:00:45,693 His hands are finally big enough to hold the ball. 16 00:00:45,717 --> 00:00:46,995 Which is why it was such a tough decision, 17 00:00:47,019 --> 00:00:49,419 but, ultimately, my man's heart was in the bee. 18 00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:51,222 Right. How do you know all this? 19 00:00:51,324 --> 00:00:52,823 I don't know. We talk. 20 00:00:52,925 --> 00:00:53,936 I don't know if I think God's up there 21 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,125 with, like, a big long beard, 22 00:00:55,228 --> 00:00:57,694 but I definitely believe in something. 23 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,997 I think God's a woman. 24 00:01:03,469 --> 00:01:05,246 That was a Friday Craft Corner to remember, you know? 25 00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:06,503 No, I really don't. 26 00:01:06,605 --> 00:01:08,805 This guinea pig is costing me a fortune. 27 00:01:08,907 --> 00:01:11,241 Only eats little gem lettuce. Outrageous. 28 00:01:11,343 --> 00:01:12,887 There's smoke coming out of your windows. 29 00:01:12,911 --> 00:01:13,911 Your house is on fire. 30 00:01:14,012 --> 00:01:15,779 Okay, so, in the future, 31 00:01:15,881 --> 00:01:17,124 if you think my house is on fire, 32 00:01:17,148 --> 00:01:18,214 let's lead with that. 33 00:01:18,316 --> 00:01:19,949 And that's just Miggy's fog machine. 34 00:01:20,051 --> 00:01:21,818 He's deejaying a dance party for the kids. 35 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,253 Hippie's gotta get a job. 36 00:01:23,355 --> 00:01:24,966 Well, he starts at the Winebrary tomorrow, 37 00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:26,256 and he's been so motivated. 38 00:01:26,358 --> 00:01:27,657 I think he's really growing up. 39 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,226 Aah! Come quick! We need an adult! 40 00:01:30,328 --> 00:01:31,895 - Sophie?! - Graham?! 41 00:01:31,997 --> 00:01:33,997 - Rory! - Emma and Sally? 42 00:01:34,099 --> 00:01:35,131 I mean, Amy? 43 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:37,233 I stomped on Pickle! It's bad! 44 00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:39,135 - It can't be that bad. - Where is she? 45 00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:41,570 Over here. H-How does she look? 46 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:47,388 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx & err0001 www.addic7ed.com. 47 00:01:49,915 --> 00:01:51,614 I held her. 48 00:01:51,716 --> 00:01:54,117 I saw her drifting away. 49 00:01:54,219 --> 00:01:56,485 Sniff the scarf, honey. You're okay. 50 00:01:56,587 --> 00:01:58,654 Lil G. How you holding up? 51 00:01:58,756 --> 00:02:00,056 Not great, Big Dubs. 52 00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:02,292 Can I get a hit of that sweatshirt? 53 00:02:02,394 --> 00:02:03,321 Sure. 54 00:02:03,395 --> 00:02:05,461 Will, doesn't Sophie need you? 55 00:02:05,563 --> 00:02:06,762 No, she does not. 56 00:02:06,864 --> 00:02:09,631 When it comes to pets, she's always been my rock. 57 00:02:15,005 --> 00:02:17,272 Flush it. It's a goldfish. 58 00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:19,607 He was also my son! 59 00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:21,910 He's in a better place now. 60 00:02:25,182 --> 00:02:27,182 This machine took our gummy worms! 61 00:02:27,284 --> 00:02:30,185 We gotta buy a second one to push the first one out. 62 00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,387 No, no, no. You do that, they win. 63 00:02:32,489 --> 00:02:35,123 Boss! B-B-Boss! 64 00:02:35,225 --> 00:02:36,992 Man, I'm so psyched about my first day. 65 00:02:37,094 --> 00:02:38,994 I've been studying so much about wine. 66 00:02:39,096 --> 00:02:40,728 Miggy, I hate to stifle your enthusiasm, 67 00:02:40,831 --> 00:02:42,998 but a life hangs in the balance. 68 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,566 We've been waiting for too long! 69 00:02:44,668 --> 00:02:47,001 God. Is Pickle gonna be okay? 70 00:02:47,103 --> 00:02:49,537 Yeah, sweetie, I'm 100% positive 71 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,339 that Pickle is gonna be fine. 72 00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:52,441 Pickle is dead. 73 00:02:52,509 --> 00:02:53,509 What? 74 00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:54,476 Who's the owner? 75 00:02:54,578 --> 00:02:57,445 - Finally! - Yay! 76 00:02:57,547 --> 00:02:59,380 Take that, Big Vending Machine! 77 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,516 Today the good guys win. 78 00:03:03,019 --> 00:03:04,418 Girls... 79 00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:06,020 Pickle didn't make it. 80 00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:07,555 I'm so sorry. 81 00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:11,726 I don't think they heard me. 82 00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:16,097 Pickle died! 83 00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:17,698 She's as dead as Versace. 84 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,065 She left this world. 85 00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:20,701 She gone! 86 00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,870 Want a gummy worm? 87 00:03:22,972 --> 00:03:25,706 Douglas, they're not reacting to the death. 88 00:03:25,808 --> 00:03:26,888 That's called "resilience," 89 00:03:26,942 --> 00:03:28,876 and your kid could use a little of that. 90 00:03:28,978 --> 00:03:30,043 You want to step in here? 91 00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:31,845 Okay. You got it. 92 00:03:31,947 --> 00:03:33,346 Get it together, Rory. 93 00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:34,793 This is more embarrassing than anything else 94 00:03:34,817 --> 00:03:36,349 that's going on in this hospital, 95 00:03:36,451 --> 00:03:37,696 and that includes that dog over there 96 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,200 that's dressed like Barbra Streisand. 97 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:47,360 Buddy. 98 00:03:47,462 --> 00:03:48,529 Whatcha doing? 99 00:03:48,631 --> 00:03:51,364 Googling "How to make sure no one ever dies" 100 00:03:51,466 --> 00:03:54,100 + easy steps + 2018." 101 00:03:54,202 --> 00:03:55,935 Sweetie... 102 00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,404 Look at me. 103 00:03:57,506 --> 00:04:00,940 I'm gonna be here for a very, very long time, okay? 104 00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:02,642 I'm worried about Will. 105 00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:05,079 Will? 106 00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,590 Why is Graham worrying about you dying? 107 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,426 He's known you for a month. He shouldn't care if you die. 108 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:10,283 We should all care if anyone dies. 109 00:04:10,385 --> 00:04:11,862 Why are you suddenly best friends with my kid? 110 00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:12,886 It's weird. 111 00:04:12,921 --> 00:04:16,189 We like all the same movies and magazines 112 00:04:16,291 --> 00:04:17,868 and have a kind of undeniable chemistry. 113 00:04:17,892 --> 00:04:19,592 But I don't want to step on your toes. 114 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,094 I w... I will back off. 115 00:04:21,196 --> 00:04:23,329 - Right after the colonoscopy. - What?! 116 00:04:23,432 --> 00:04:26,298 Well, Graham read that colonoscopies help prevent death, 117 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,734 and he knows that my grandfather died from colon cancer, 118 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,202 so I told him I'd get one. 119 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,682 Look, I had a colonoscopy on the books, 120 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:32,738 and I just moved it up 121 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,084 when I saw how much it meant to Graham. 122 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,108 Your colon shouldn't mean anything to Graham! 123 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,321 He shouldn't want you to be getting a tube up your butt. 124 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,479 The only butt he should care about is mine. 125 00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:42,481 It is, okay? You know how fickle kids are. 126 00:04:42,584 --> 00:04:43,950 He's probably already over me. 127 00:04:44,052 --> 00:04:46,185 Will, I was just thinking about you. 128 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,787 Let's try the handshake. 129 00:04:47,889 --> 00:04:49,622 Slap it, bump it, chicken wing... 130 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,191 Being best friends is our... thing. 131 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,626 Pumped up your ball for you. 132 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,194 Thanks! You're the best! 133 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,597 Mom. 134 00:04:57,699 --> 00:05:01,100 - Oooh! Day 1 realness! - Yeah. 135 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:03,668 - And I love that tie. - I got it at the drugstore. 136 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,370 Okay. Cool. 137 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,606 Watch out, Miggy. Here come the regulars. 138 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,374 They call themselves the "Winebrarians." 139 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,818 Don't call them a group. They identify as a collective. 140 00:05:11,843 --> 00:05:15,414 Bess, Franny, Lil... meet Miggy. 141 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,616 You hired a man? Did he make you do this? 142 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,684 He better not hit on us. 143 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:22,354 Ladies, I know the Winebrary has a feminist mission, 144 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,922 but we need male allies. 145 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,991 Exactly. I love women. 146 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,026 And not just the hot ones. 147 00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:29,528 - My God. - O... Kay. 148 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,829 Maybe don't talk to them. 149 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,464 - Okay. - Yeah. 150 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,232 Guess what, hot shot. 151 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,501 I'm getting a colonoscopy. 152 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,537 My butt beats your butt. I've got the number-one butt! 153 00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:40,605 Yeah, you do! 154 00:05:40,652 --> 00:05:42,229 You're better than that, Mr. Withers. 155 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,605 - When's your colonoscopy appointment? - Next month. 156 00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:48,925 Ha! Mine's at 4:00 p.m. today. Suck on that. 157 00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:50,360 What is that? 158 00:05:50,462 --> 00:05:51,661 Pre-colonoscopy smoothie. 159 00:05:51,763 --> 00:05:53,107 Tastes just like a regular smoothie, 160 00:05:53,131 --> 00:05:55,164 except it's disgusting, and I love it. 161 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,967 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a colonoscopy to get to. 162 00:05:58,069 --> 00:05:59,681 You know that they put you out for the procedure 163 00:05:59,705 --> 00:06:01,671 and you need someone to drive you home, right? 164 00:06:02,474 --> 00:06:03,340 Of course I know that. 165 00:06:03,442 --> 00:06:05,575 - You want a ride? - Yes, obviously. 166 00:06:06,311 --> 00:06:09,478 Where the hell is Poppy? I'm... I'm off the clock. 167 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:10,613 I got e-mails to do. 168 00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:14,217 All right, kids, scatter, mingle, have fun. 169 00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:17,620 Girls, I am truly, truly humbled 170 00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:20,056 that you would allow me, the murderer, 171 00:06:20,158 --> 00:06:22,825 to plan Pickle's funeral here tonight. 172 00:06:22,927 --> 00:06:24,360 Was there another option? 173 00:06:24,462 --> 00:06:28,131 Sophie, how we looking on that "in memoriam" slideshow? 174 00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,265 Not good. 175 00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:30,367 The deadline has passed, 176 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:32,434 and I only got two pictures from my dad. 177 00:06:32,536 --> 00:06:34,771 And one was a poorly aimed selfie. 178 00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,708 - Miggy? - Soph! What's good? 179 00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:40,843 What's going on? 180 00:06:40,945 --> 00:06:42,645 Are you hiding? 181 00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:45,381 No! I'm just crouching and thinking. 182 00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:46,315 Sure. 183 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:47,393 It turns out, 184 00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:48,818 there's a really big part of my job 185 00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:50,051 that I forgot to learn. 186 00:06:50,154 --> 00:06:53,322 Ladies, it's wine time! 187 00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:01,930 You can't use a corkscrew? 188 00:07:02,032 --> 00:07:03,131 It's super hard. 189 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:05,701 Maybe those ladies won't notice there's no wine 190 00:07:05,803 --> 00:07:08,236 'cause their books are so good. 191 00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:09,602 - You see I don't have any wine, right? - Yeah. 192 00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:10,648 - You guys see that? - Yeah. 193 00:07:10,649 --> 00:07:12,341 Yeah, I don't think that plan has legs. 194 00:07:12,443 --> 00:07:13,742 I agree. 195 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:15,684 - Miggy, how's it going? - Poppin' and pourin'. 196 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:17,045 - Corks don't scare me! - Good. 197 00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:19,159 Sophie, I'm gonna get you that picture of Pickle. I promise. 198 00:07:19,183 --> 00:07:20,481 Not holding my breath. 199 00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:22,561 Rory, I should have given you a budget for this funeral. 200 00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:24,252 - That's on me. - Come on. 201 00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:26,188 Let's check out the veil I ordered on Amazon. 202 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:28,924 Spanish lace... they claim. 203 00:07:29,026 --> 00:07:30,458 Looks like Pickle's gonna be buried 204 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,862 in Gwyneth Paltrow's "Shakespeare in Love" Oscar dress. 205 00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:35,697 Your kid's obsessed with death. 206 00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:37,844 Yeah, well, it's not healthy to bottle up sad feelings. 207 00:07:37,868 --> 00:07:40,735 I've bred my girls to handle feelings the way I do... 208 00:07:40,838 --> 00:07:44,039 repress, replace, move on. 209 00:07:44,141 --> 00:07:45,807 We never have emotional conversations. 210 00:07:45,909 --> 00:07:46,942 That can't be true. 211 00:07:47,044 --> 00:07:48,387 What about when you talk about their mom? 212 00:07:48,411 --> 00:07:49,411 We don't talk about her. 213 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,911 You mean never? 214 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,758 That's one of my biggest triumphs as a parent. 215 00:07:52,782 --> 00:07:55,182 That and getting them to think that it's their job 216 00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:56,718 to make my bed. Yeah. 217 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,620 On holidays, they... they put a little seasonal candy 218 00:07:59,723 --> 00:08:01,989 right on the pillow... adds a nice touch. 219 00:08:02,091 --> 00:08:04,692 Douglas, Emma and Amy deserve a safe space 220 00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:07,395 where they can express their feelings and ask questions. 221 00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:09,230 They're little girls whose mom died. 222 00:08:09,332 --> 00:08:11,532 Really, Poppy? Okay, thanks for the update. 223 00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:13,354 You know what... I think I need a safe space 224 00:08:13,436 --> 00:08:15,737 where I can parent my kids the way I think fit 225 00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:18,005 without being lectured by a woman whose son 226 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,141 is treating a rodent like it's JFK! 227 00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:24,678 So you're just running away? 228 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:26,891 I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place... 229 00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:29,549 repress, replace, move on. 230 00:08:29,651 --> 00:08:31,084 All right, girls, get in the Benz. 231 00:08:31,186 --> 00:08:34,821 We're gonna go to the pet store and buy you a new pig thing. 232 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,496 Okay, look alive, ladies. We're gonna get a new guinea pig. 233 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:42,622 Let's not stay too long, girls. We're gonna smell like pets. 234 00:08:42,724 --> 00:08:43,790 Let's motor. 235 00:08:43,892 --> 00:08:45,258 Efficiency. 236 00:08:47,397 --> 00:08:49,631 That's what you want? Robots with braids? 237 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,162 They're doing better than your kid. 238 00:08:51,249 --> 00:08:52,991 I killed your sister! 239 00:08:54,385 --> 00:08:56,786 Fine. Keep doing what you're doing. 240 00:08:56,888 --> 00:08:58,354 Repress, replace, move on. 241 00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:00,661 That's how you want your kids to handle the loss of their pet. 242 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:02,625 - Yep. - And the loss of their mom. 243 00:09:03,528 --> 00:09:05,094 You got it. 244 00:09:05,197 --> 00:09:07,197 Is that how you dealt with it? 245 00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:15,770 I'm starting to think you didn't deal with it at all. 246 00:09:15,873 --> 00:09:18,673 It's easier this way. 247 00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:22,711 - Dad, we got one! - We're gonna call her "Pickle"! 248 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,480 - B-But this isn't Pickle. - Who cares? 249 00:09:25,582 --> 00:09:28,217 It'll be like the other Pickle never existed. 250 00:09:28,319 --> 00:09:31,653 Yeah, Dad, like you said, "Repress, replace, move on." 251 00:09:31,755 --> 00:09:34,189 Yeah, like you said. 252 00:09:38,128 --> 00:09:40,229 Douglas, are you okay? 253 00:09:41,365 --> 00:09:43,498 N-N-No, I'm not. 254 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,133 Okay? I'm... I'm upset, actually. 255 00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:47,836 And why are you upset? 256 00:09:47,937 --> 00:09:50,638 I'm upset because... 257 00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:54,476 this guinea pig is a total loser. 258 00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:57,445 It's like God was trying to make a possum and gave up. 259 00:09:57,547 --> 00:09:58,813 We have to find a better one. 260 00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:00,382 I was about to go on break. 261 00:10:00,484 --> 00:10:02,506 No, you're not gonna go on break, Raj. 262 00:10:02,584 --> 00:10:05,720 Not until we find a perfect replacement for Pickle! 263 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,433 I don't care if we have to stay all night. 264 00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:08,956 We only have seven to choose from. 265 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:10,558 Then we'll start there. 266 00:10:11,795 --> 00:10:15,196 It's about to be lit! 267 00:10:21,169 --> 00:10:23,704 You still can't use a corkscrew, can you? 268 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,539 Shhhhhh! They'll hear you, okay? 269 00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:27,140 Look, I don't know what to do. 270 00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:29,810 I already used up all my best methods of distraction. 271 00:10:29,912 --> 00:10:32,579 So, I understood the first women's march, 272 00:10:32,681 --> 00:10:34,448 but what was the second one about? 273 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,960 The organizers didn't have the resources! 274 00:10:35,984 --> 00:10:37,918 - You don't get to ask that. - I don't know, 275 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,831 but the third one is coming straight to your house. 276 00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:42,989 I'm gonna watch this "Corkscrews for Dummies" video on YouTube 277 00:10:43,091 --> 00:10:44,703 one more time and just pray for a miracle. 278 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,259 You do that, and I'm gonna go use 279 00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,328 my best method of distraction. 280 00:10:50,077 --> 00:10:53,031 I'm thinking of being a princess for Halloween. Thoughts? 281 00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:54,882 - Do you want to live in a box? - Do you want to make change in the world? 282 00:10:54,906 --> 00:10:57,330 Do you want to live in a box? Honey, sit. 283 00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:01,100 Is this one even American? 284 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,886 All right, do you have any others in the back? 285 00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:05,605 No, sir, we don't keep secret extra guinea pigs 286 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,873 in the back of the store. 287 00:11:06,975 --> 00:11:09,375 Have you had a chance to check out our leash selection? 288 00:11:09,477 --> 00:11:11,411 Goodie! A leash! 289 00:11:11,513 --> 00:11:13,413 Maybe I'll take one home and call it "Pickle," 290 00:11:13,515 --> 00:11:15,448 and I'll feed it little gem lettuce. 291 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,718 Do any of your guinea pigs even eat little gems?! 292 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:21,821 Dad, we don't have to get a new guinea pig today. 293 00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:23,322 Yeah, we found a cool leash 294 00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:24,924 with rhinestones to buy instead. 295 00:11:25,026 --> 00:11:27,159 But a leash is not a guinea pig! 296 00:11:27,261 --> 00:11:28,160 - Attention! - Douglas. 297 00:11:28,262 --> 00:11:29,582 - Attention, everybody! - Douglas. 298 00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:30,829 It's important you know this. 299 00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:33,866 It is possible that any one of these animals 300 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:36,101 can die at any moment, 301 00:11:36,203 --> 00:11:39,071 and this God-forsaken rat farm 302 00:11:39,173 --> 00:11:41,406 will not guarantee a replacement! 303 00:11:41,508 --> 00:11:43,408 - Yeah. You have to... - Put it... 304 00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,644 I know what I'm doing. 305 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:46,579 Just got to... 306 00:11:46,681 --> 00:11:47,881 - I'm taking the leash! - Okay. 307 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:51,416 And I hope it comes out of your paycheck, Raj! 308 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,055 "Procedure may cause tear in rectum wall"? 309 00:11:56,156 --> 00:11:59,724 "Photos may be used for teaching purposes"?! 310 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,534 Just checking in. 311 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:04,880 Also, there's a guy in the waiting room 312 00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:06,189 who keeps telling me and Graham about his GERD. 313 00:12:06,213 --> 00:12:07,237 Yeah? 314 00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:09,774 Well, I'm just reading about colonoscopy risks, 315 00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:11,075 and one is death. 316 00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:13,711 - So, yeah, thanks a lot. - What? 317 00:12:13,813 --> 00:12:16,981 I didn't force you to get an emergency midday colonoscopy. 318 00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:18,148 You basically did. 319 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,185 I am defending my honor as Graham's mother. 320 00:12:21,287 --> 00:12:22,386 All right, that's it. 321 00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:24,066 I'll accept the blame for a lot of things... 322 00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,090 Sophie's flat feet, 323 00:12:25,157 --> 00:12:26,991 the lack of coverage of Hurricane Nate... 324 00:12:27,093 --> 00:12:28,871 It was a category-one. We had bigger fish to fry. 325 00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:30,995 Okay, I don't understand. Are you a weatherman? 326 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:32,441 How many times do I have to say it? 327 00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:33,563 It's very simple. 328 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,064 I'm a stay-at-home weather researcher. 329 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,867 But I will not accept the blame 330 00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:39,002 for you sitting here in a very see-through robe... 331 00:12:39,027 --> 00:12:40,046 I apologize... 332 00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:41,538 waiting to get a colonoscopy! 333 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,520 Is it weird that I was gonna get one for Graham? 334 00:12:44,543 --> 00:12:45,809 Yes. 335 00:12:45,911 --> 00:12:48,031 But isn't it weirder that you were threatened by that? 336 00:12:48,079 --> 00:12:49,546 Of course I was threatened! 337 00:12:49,648 --> 00:12:52,382 It feels like you're trying to be a father figure to my son, 338 00:12:52,484 --> 00:12:54,951 and I-I'm the only person he needs. 339 00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:57,521 I'm his father and his mother. 340 00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:58,565 Last Father's Day, 341 00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,657 I took myself out to a dope-ass brunch 342 00:13:00,759 --> 00:13:03,459 and bought military fiction in hardcopy! 343 00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:07,897 I... 344 00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:10,232 I want to be enough for him. 345 00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:12,835 You are. 346 00:13:14,705 --> 00:13:16,304 You're doing a great job as the dad. 347 00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:18,373 Honestly. 348 00:13:18,475 --> 00:13:21,076 You give off angry-dad vibes all the time. 349 00:13:21,178 --> 00:13:22,845 Like, I'm looking at your face right now, 350 00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:25,614 and I'm like, "That dad is pissed." 351 00:13:28,553 --> 00:13:30,786 Sorry I overreacted today. 352 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,788 No, you didn't overreact. 353 00:13:34,926 --> 00:13:36,725 I've just never seen Graham 354 00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:39,094 legitimately bond with a man before. 355 00:13:39,196 --> 00:13:41,096 It's freaking me out. 356 00:13:41,198 --> 00:13:44,232 He's never met his father. 357 00:13:45,602 --> 00:13:47,102 Yeah. 358 00:13:48,572 --> 00:13:51,639 Angie, you have to know that you're Graham's whole world. 359 00:13:51,959 --> 00:13:54,827 The undeniable chemistry that he and I have 360 00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:56,339 is no match for the love he has for you. 361 00:13:56,363 --> 00:13:58,547 Can you please stop calling it "undeniable chemistry"? 362 00:13:58,648 --> 00:14:00,402 I have to call it what it is. 363 00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,386 I don't need a colonoscopy. 364 00:14:04,488 --> 00:14:06,754 This was a crazy move. 365 00:14:06,856 --> 00:14:08,457 - Yeah. - I feel better. 366 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:09,924 Weirdly calm. 367 00:14:10,026 --> 00:14:12,060 Well, the sedative should've fully kicked in. 368 00:14:12,162 --> 00:14:13,462 - It's showtime! - My God, 369 00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:15,028 I'm getting a colonoscopy! 370 00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:16,475 You totally are! It's oddly inspiring! 371 00:14:16,499 --> 00:14:18,265 You're a great dad, Angie! 372 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:24,059 Okay, this year for Halloween, I will be Pingyang, 373 00:14:24,122 --> 00:14:27,237 Chinese warrior princess born in 598 A.D. 374 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,676 And you let me know if you need to borrow my sword. 375 00:14:29,779 --> 00:14:31,909 I think our work here is done. To Pingyang. 376 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,413 - To Pingyang. - Yes! 377 00:14:33,515 --> 00:14:34,659 - No. - All right, where's our wine. 378 00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:37,084 - He never filled our glass! - I want wine! 379 00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:40,320 - Miggy, did the video work? - No. Look. 380 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,988 - You're bleeding! - What's going on? 381 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,235 Are you waiting for a man to come buy us drinks? 382 00:14:44,314 --> 00:14:46,980 Are you ignoring us because you don't see us as sexual beings? 383 00:14:47,082 --> 00:14:48,549 No, you're very sexual. 384 00:14:48,651 --> 00:14:50,050 How can I see you as anything but? 385 00:14:50,152 --> 00:14:51,397 Well, what are you waiting on, then? What's going on? 386 00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:53,366 Do I need to jump over this counter and get my own wine? 387 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,372 Please don't hurt me! 388 00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:57,090 He can't use a corkscrew, okay? 389 00:14:59,762 --> 00:15:01,094 My goodness. 390 00:15:01,197 --> 00:15:04,732 Making a child defend you? Please! No one is that stupid. 391 00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:06,967 I am! I am that stupid. 392 00:15:07,069 --> 00:15:08,980 There's $1,000 of broken wine bottles 393 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,496 in the trash to prove it. 394 00:15:10,574 --> 00:15:13,641 And it sucks 'cause I really want to crush this job. 395 00:15:13,743 --> 00:15:15,675 Poppy's the best person in the world. 396 00:15:15,777 --> 00:15:18,345 And that includes this dude Dwayne you guys don't know. 397 00:15:19,315 --> 00:15:21,114 And for some reason, she believes in me, 398 00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:23,350 and I want to give her a reason to believe. 399 00:15:24,153 --> 00:15:25,285 But I can't. 400 00:15:25,387 --> 00:15:28,856 So, it's... it's time for me to hang up my wine tie. 401 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,423 I don't deserve this job. 402 00:15:30,525 --> 00:15:31,859 Okay. It's a clip-on. 403 00:15:31,961 --> 00:15:34,594 - What happened to that boy? - We have to help him, don't we? 404 00:15:34,696 --> 00:15:37,331 Yeah, we do. 405 00:15:37,432 --> 00:15:38,999 - It's screw time. - Screw time. 406 00:15:39,101 --> 00:15:40,868 Come on, twist! Come on. Come on. 407 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,214 Don't be afraid to make a little noise. 408 00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:43,681 - Get your legs involved! - No, clockwise! Clockwise! 409 00:15:43,705 --> 00:15:45,138 Okay. 410 00:15:48,366 --> 00:15:49,510 I... almost got it! 411 00:15:50,578 --> 00:15:52,245 - Yes! - Yes! Yes! 412 00:15:52,347 --> 00:15:54,300 Wow. 413 00:15:54,363 --> 00:15:56,123 - Thank you. I did it! - Really, really good. 414 00:15:57,718 --> 00:15:59,451 What's everyone cheering about? 415 00:16:01,055 --> 00:16:04,590 We're cheering because Miggy... 416 00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:06,386 is so great. 417 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:08,207 First straight man I've ever respected. 418 00:16:08,308 --> 00:16:10,229 Also, whose kid is this? 419 00:16:10,331 --> 00:16:11,331 Miggy! 420 00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:15,334 He's one of the good ones. 421 00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:23,410 Hello. Welcome. 422 00:16:23,511 --> 00:16:26,412 Please remember that this is not a funeral. 423 00:16:26,514 --> 00:16:27,679 It's a celebration of life. 424 00:16:27,782 --> 00:16:29,014 - Daddy! - Sophie! 425 00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:30,549 I can't wait to see the slideshow! 426 00:16:30,651 --> 00:16:33,184 You can wait. Trust me. 427 00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:36,422 - Can I get a womp-womp?! - All right. 428 00:16:36,524 --> 00:16:38,590 Whose birthday party is this, anyway? 429 00:16:38,692 --> 00:16:40,225 What's wrong with your mom? 430 00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:43,862 She got a colonoscopy today for pretty much no reason. 431 00:16:46,447 --> 00:16:47,466 To the brim. 432 00:16:47,568 --> 00:16:49,435 I got you. 433 00:16:54,408 --> 00:16:55,573 Sorry. 434 00:16:57,243 --> 00:17:01,312 We should... talk about what happened at the pet store. 435 00:17:01,414 --> 00:17:03,714 - I'm worried. - Me too. 436 00:17:03,817 --> 00:17:07,351 Raj is so bad at his job. 437 00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:14,792 Okay, I had a breakdown at a pet store on Cahuenga. 438 00:17:14,894 --> 00:17:16,594 Maybe you're right. 439 00:17:16,696 --> 00:17:19,330 I-I... I haven't dealt with Rose's death. 440 00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:20,898 It was all a blur. 441 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,435 You know, she died, and I had 10-month-old twins. 442 00:17:24,537 --> 00:17:26,036 They were teething. 443 00:17:26,138 --> 00:17:28,339 It was scarier than the draft. 444 00:17:28,441 --> 00:17:30,040 I didn't have time to grieve. 445 00:17:30,142 --> 00:17:33,510 I-I was doing the best I could. 446 00:17:33,612 --> 00:17:34,878 They were so little. 447 00:17:34,981 --> 00:17:38,215 Douglas, what you did was amazing. 448 00:17:38,317 --> 00:17:39,783 But they're not little anymore. 449 00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:40,717 They're... 450 00:17:40,819 --> 00:17:43,887 They're looking to you for guidance. 451 00:17:57,603 --> 00:17:59,269 It's all I had. 452 00:18:03,275 --> 00:18:04,875 Thank you all for coming. 453 00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:06,610 If you are moved to speak about Pickle, 454 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:08,344 please do so. 455 00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:10,346 I want to say something. 456 00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,149 Life is crazy. 457 00:18:13,251 --> 00:18:15,084 I just got a colonoscopy! 458 00:18:15,186 --> 00:18:17,186 And the results are in. 459 00:18:17,288 --> 00:18:19,155 I got an A-plus butt. 460 00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:20,190 Yep. 461 00:18:20,258 --> 00:18:21,892 Will's got a butt, too! 462 00:18:21,994 --> 00:18:23,593 I'm down with that. 463 00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:27,296 I guess a lot of us have butts, when you really think about it. 464 00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,298 We're not that different, after all. 465 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,802 R.I.P. Pickle, you were one hell of a cat. 466 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,370 - That's all. - Thank you, Angie. 467 00:18:34,472 --> 00:18:35,472 Now I'll share. 468 00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,240 Pickle was funny, kind, 469 00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:39,842 and, my God, could she nap. 470 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:43,046 The pet store says the price of a guinea pig is $25, 471 00:18:43,148 --> 00:18:45,448 but you can't put a price on Pickle. 472 00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:47,274 I don't know what it all means, 473 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,352 but I do know one thing... 474 00:18:49,454 --> 00:18:51,907 Heaven just got a little furrier 475 00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:53,610 and a lot cuter. 476 00:18:53,691 --> 00:18:55,358 Good night, sweet princess. 477 00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:00,963 Now, I would like to invite Pickle's two moms, 478 00:19:01,066 --> 00:19:03,566 Emma and Amy, up to the podium. 479 00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:10,506 Girls. 480 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,075 Look, it turns out, you can't replace a pet. 481 00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:14,909 Or people. 482 00:19:15,011 --> 00:19:16,844 And it's important to remember her, 483 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,013 and it's okay to feel something. 484 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,748 Okay? 485 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:24,086 So, if you feel like you want to speak, 486 00:19:24,188 --> 00:19:25,387 then you should speak. 487 00:19:32,429 --> 00:19:33,861 All right. 488 00:19:39,703 --> 00:19:41,603 Pickle was a guinea pig. 489 00:19:41,705 --> 00:19:42,870 She was brown and white. 490 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,207 She liked cardboard. 491 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,208 Once, she sneezed, and it sounded stupid. 492 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,876 She would eat like this. 493 00:19:51,347 --> 00:19:52,714 They're really opening up. 494 00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:56,550 Also, Rory, we forgive you. 495 00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,019 Thank you! 496 00:19:58,121 --> 00:20:00,755 I think Pickle would want me to dance again. 497 00:20:00,857 --> 00:20:02,556 Miggy! Drop the beat! 498 00:20:03,459 --> 00:20:05,746 Okay, Rory! 499 00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,029 Okay, okay. I see you! I see you! 500 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:15,402 Stop. 501 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:20,186 I want you to know more about your mom. 502 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,475 Which means I need to start talking about her. 503 00:20:22,539 --> 00:20:25,373 So... here we go. 504 00:20:25,622 --> 00:20:27,285 I'll tell you everything, 505 00:20:27,379 --> 00:20:31,036 beginning with the first place we met. 506 00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,157 It was right here. 507 00:20:33,259 --> 00:20:35,659 It was love at first sight. 508 00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,526 - Hot Twists! - That's so cool. 509 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,019 Did she make pretzels? 510 00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:43,988 Not exactly. 511 00:20:44,089 --> 00:20:46,724 Was she a professional Twister player? 512 00:20:46,826 --> 00:20:48,325 In a way. 513 00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,662 I bet that's why we're so good at Twister! 514 00:20:51,764 --> 00:20:54,131 Tell us more about her. 515 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,166 Yeah, take it away, big guy. 516 00:20:57,537 --> 00:21:01,071 Well, as you know, her real name was Rose... 517 00:21:01,173 --> 00:21:04,808 but her stage name was Ros�. 518 00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:12,330 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx & err0001 www.addic7ed.com 37340

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