Original subtitles

♪ You don't belong to the regulars ♪

♪ You're just a volunteer ♪

♪ You're only one of the rank and file ♪

♪ But someone holds you dear ♪

♪ Many a mother's heart will ache and in the coming year ♪

♪ Uncle Sam will take off his hat to you, Mr. Volunteer ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ When I place my arms around you, sweetheart ♪

♪ When I tell to you my tale of woe, hmm-mmm ♪

♪ Of the future which now lies before us ♪

♪ Are brighter than the stars above ♪

♪ Oh, the sycamores ♪

♪ The candlelights are gleaming ♪

♪ On the banks of the Wabash ♪

♪ Far away ♪

- Thank you, Malcolm. - Not at all, Mr. Dreiser.

- Tell Paul I said good-bye. - I will.

- What are you sniffling about, Theodore? - I'm not sniffling.

Look here, Son,

I'm tired of having you mope around because Paul's going away to school.

You should be happy that your brother's going to be a minister.

I am happy.

Paul, you better put that banjo away.

Please, Paul. It's your father.

Cary, off the bed.

Paul, look. Pa's got your new suit.

It's nothing to get so excited about, Theodore.

Thanks for picking it up for me.

You have more than that to thank me for.

This isn't the suit I picked out.

Of course it isn't.

This is your old suit, the one that you tore. Look, there's a patch.

There was no reason you should pay $12 for a suit when this could be easily altered.

But it was my $12. I earned it.

Paul, I've always tried to impress upon you the necessity for thrift.

The sooner you learn frugality, the less difficulty you'll have later.

Learn it? That's all I know or ever heard.

Maybe I'd better learn something besides it.

You might as well realize that as a minister, you'll always be a poor man.

- I'm not so sure I want to be one. - What?

I want to be a musician. I've always wanted to be a musician.

We settled that nonsense long ago.

I told you at the time I didn't want to hear it again. And I won't listen now.

Well...

- maybe you'll have to. - Paul, please.

Everything's settled.

You're going to theological school tomorrow,

and you're going in that suit.

Cary, Theodore.

The way it's mended, no one would ever notice it was torn.

I'll know it.

I don't see what difference that makes,

as long as nobody else does.

Makes a lot of difference.

Son!

Aren't you going to say good-bye to me?

- How did you know I was going? - I knew it this afternoon.

The way you faced up to him.

Well, I would have told him then, except for you.

I thought it would be best if I slipped out this way.

Are you sure you're doing the right thing?

There's nothing else I can do.

Will you... Will you let me know where you are, Paul?

As soon as I know myself.

Friends, so there will be no confusion at the outset,

none of this exquisite jewelry is for sale.

So please don't embarrass me by attempting to purchase it.

It will soon appear in your local stores.

We are merely introducing it tonight.

I want you to examine this jewelry thoroughly

and observe for yourself that it is all 24 karat gold.

I'd like to see it, mister!

Delighted, my good man, delighted.

Naturally, I'll have to ask you for a $10 deposit while you examine it.

Just a gesture of good faith, my friends,

in as much as each cloth contains $100 worth of jewelry.

Your deposit will be returned when you finish your perusal. Thank you, sir.

- I'd like to see that one. - Very good, ma'am, very good.

Very good.

Have you ever seen such... such delicate design?

Such luster. Thank you, madam.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

The ideal Christmas gift.

The ideal wedding or graduation gift.

And remember, my friends, it is not for sale now at any price.

Now, examine this jewelry to your heart's content.

And while Mr. Dresser entertains you with one of his new compositions,

I will, uh, step inside, and the gentlemen will understand...

soothe my throat.

Double whiskey and chaser, please.

- I'll be back in a moment. - Yes, sir.

♪ Oh, the winter am upon us ♪

♪ And the days are cool and drear ♪

♪ Still, I loves ya I loves ya, Liza Jane ♪

♪ Watermelon's out of season ♪

♪ And opossum's mighty dear ♪

♪ Still I loves ya I loves ya, Liza Jane ♪

♪ Oh, I want you for my honey ♪

♪ Yes, I want you by-and-by ♪

♪ For I loves ya I loves ya, Liza Jane ♪

♪ For the turkey am a-wingin' ♪

♪ And the chickens roosting high ♪

♪ Still I loves ya I loves ya, Liza Jane ♪

♪ Liza, Liza, Liza Jane ♪

♪ I loves ya, my little Liza Jane ♪

♪ When the springtime am a-comin' ♪

♪ And the bees they am a-hummin' ♪

♪ I'se your honey if you wants me, Liza Jane ♪

- Hey, this ain't nothin' but brass! - What?

I put vinegar on it, and it turned black.

What?

Out of my way! Hurry!

- Why, he's gone! He's gone! - Catch him!

- I don't even... I don't even know him! - Ah, he's trying to cover up!

- I met him just today. That's the truth. - We'll tar and feather you!

Yeah!

Throw him in the mud.

Dump him in there.

- Come on. Let's go home. - Ah, let's go.

Let's see if we can get the rest off, hmm?

How did I get here?

Mostly luck. Found you alongside the road.

First, we thought you were a turkey.

Everybody was terribly disappointed when they found we couldn't eat you.

If you feel strong enough, I'll help you into my wagon.

I'll be all right. I...

You've done enough for me already.

Now that I've wasted all this time cleaning you up, I want you to live.

Come on. I'll help you.

Put your arm around my neck.

Put your arm around my neck.

- Who concocted this pharmacopeia? - I did.

Murphy, you have deviated from my usual formula.

Make it sweet. Always make it plenty sweet, so the babies will cry for it.

Add, uh, 50 or 60 pounds more sugar, and, uh...

might put in a couple gallons of peppermint.

All right, more peppermint.

That's the asthma cure the colonel's making now.

For rheumatism, they leave out the sugar.

Good morning. Feeling better?

Good morning, Miss Collins.

I feel kinda sore. My skin hurts.

Oh.

Oh, you'll be all right.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you've done for me.

Oh, forget it.

Who can tell? I may need you to take the tar off me some day.

Oh, I'd like to.

I mean, I... I'd like to be able to do something for you in return.

Well, I... I brought some clothes for you.

An old suit of the colonel's.

Why, I can't take them. I...

I don't know whether I'll be able to return them or not.

I think that'll be pretty easy. I got him to give you a job too.

Well, he hasn't even heard me play. How does he know whether I'm any good or not?

That doesn't matter.

If you're not a good musician, you can always pound stakes.

Gosh, I... I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you.

Don't you?

- Bashful, aren't you? - No, of course not.

What's the matter? Don't you like me?

Sure, I like you. I...

Haven't you ever kissed a girl before?

Sure, sure. It's... It's just that I...

Well, I didn't want you to think I was fresh. That's all.

Well?

Do you feel better now?

Gee, I sure do.

Well, well, well.

My friends, this is a joy, this is a pleasure.

It makes me very happy to see...

to see so many smiling and happy, contented faces

at my little entertainment tonight.

- Friends, just 28... - Honey.

Yeah?

Hook me up.

How do you like it?

Another new suit. Well, that makes three you've bought this month.

Oh, those others were just to wear. This came from Chicago.

- That's a big-city cut, all right. - Yep.

All I sent was my measurements and the money, and it came back like this.

Those gents are my tailors from now on.

Uh-oh, better hook me up. The colonel's almost to his death scene.

...they nursed back to life and held those that they love. My friends...

Did you watch my act last night, Mae?

I watch you every night.

Well, don't miss my act tonight. I'm going to try out a new novelty.

They pleaded. They said, "Colonel Truckee, please, please don't..."

Well, the colonel is just before dying. I'm almost on.

You know, if this stunt goes over, I'm gonna hit the colonel for a raise.

Fat chance you have of getting it.

Well, if I don't, I'll start my own show.

All you need's an Indian and a couple of recipes.

...and on and do my duty for my fellow man.

I was told that one day...

Here it is.

My time has come, folks.

But don't weep for me. Don't feel badly.

I've had a good life. A happy life.

So good-bye, friends. Good-bye. Good-bye.

Oh!

Colonel, here.

Step aside! I need no assistance!

Oh, friends, amazing.

Amazing! Marvelous!

You have seen this miracle performed before your very eyes.

That was due to the Kickapoo Indian remedy medicine.

It cures everything.

Rheumatism, consumption, yellow fever, black fever, scarlet fever,

measles, bruise, cuts, scars, dandruff!

Here it is, folks. One dollar a bottle.

My red friends will pass amongst you and sell this wonderful product for a dollar.

Remember, folks, one dollar a bottle.

One dollar a bottle, and buy while you have the opportunity.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

you are going to be entertained by Mr. Paul Dresser,

that great artist, that wonderful piano virtuoso,

who has just closed a very successful engagement in Chicago,

the Queen City of the West, Chicago, Illinois.

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me pleasure to introduce Mr. Paul Dresser.

Mr. Paul Dresser.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Oh, dear.

I don't remember Mr. Dresser billed in Chicago while we were playing there.

We never got down to the stockyards.

Ladies and gentlemen, rather than to play anything heavy,

I thought I would play something in a lighter vein tonight.

A little composition of my own, as yet untitled.

That's a catchy tune.

Maybe we missed him in Chicago.

Not in that suit.

He's going to fly off that stool.

You'd better drive on, Fred. He's going to make trouble.

No. Stay here.

I wouldn't miss this for anything.

Look.

If you don't like my act, why don't you get out of here?

Like it? Why, you're the hit of the show.

It's one of the funniest acts I ever saw.

- Funny? What's funny about it? - Wasn't it?

You know very well it wasn't. Nobody else was laughing.

But those two pianos.

And that suit.

- What could you expect? - What's wrong with my suit?

It's all right, if you can stand the noise.

Young man, this is something I cannot tolerate.

Mr. Dresser, will you kindly retire to your tent?

Folks, I'm very sorry if you don't like my little entertainment.

Oh, I'm sorry too. We didn't mean to start anything.

Here, give that young man this pass with our compliments.

Just to show him there are no hard feelings,

we'd like to have him come downtown to our show tomorrow.

Ooh. You're in the profession too?

Oh, yes, we're trying out Miss Elliott's new play at the Buffalo.

- Well! - And, by the way, you better take this.

I don't happen to have any of the ailments you listed.

Keep it, my boy. Keep it.

You'll find it makes a splendid cleaning fluid.

♪ Oh, the Gay White Way ♪

♪ Invite your girlie to the Gay White Way ♪

♪ It's always early for the lights are glowing ♪

♪ Wine is flowing ♪

♪ They do a lot of Romeo-ing ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way ♪

♪ It's so exciting that the night turns to day ♪

♪ And every little miss ♪

♪ Likes a little mischief ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way ♪

♪ I'm the toast of the town ♪

♪ In my Paris gown ♪

♪ A little naughty, but nice ♪

♪ If I seem rather gay, little girls, they say ♪

♪ Are made of sugar and spice ♪

♪ I'm the type that Goodtime Charleys ♪

♪ I'm the toast of the town ♪

♪ But I hope to settle down with someone ♪

♪ Maybe you ♪

♪ If you're after love and laughter ♪

♪ While you're young and free ♪

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ Come along and see ♪

Shh!

♪ Who cares? On the Gay White Way ♪

♪ Ba da da da ♪

♪ Invite your girlie to the Gay White Way ♪

♪ Ba da da da da ♪

♪ It's always early for the lights are glowing ♪

♪ Wine is flowing ♪

♪ They do a lot of Romeo-ing ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way ♪

♪ It's so exciting that the night turns to day ♪

- ♪ And every little miss ♪ - ♪ Miss ♪

- ♪ Likes a little mischief ♪ - ♪ Mischief ♪

- ♪ On the Gay ♪ - ♪ Every little miss would like ♪

- ♪ White Way ♪ - ♪ A little mischief ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way, no ♪

♪ The Gay Blonde Way ♪

♪ It's so exciting ♪

Quit it, Mae.

I thought we came here to break up her show.

♪ Every dainty little miss ♪

♪ Likes a kiss and little bit of mischief ♪

♪ On the Gay White Way ♪

That medicine show pill is out there breaking up the performance!

- Now, darling, don't get in a temper. - Oh, it's your fault!

- You had to go and give him passes. - Throw him out!

All right. You in the trick suit, out.

Come on.

Going to sit up all night?

Are you still angry with me?

Nah.

Just thinking.

- What about, Paul? - I gotta get out of here, Mae.

Get out of here?

I can't spend my whole life in this medicine show.

I thought it was great stuff till today.

Sitting in that red wagon, playing the piano.

It was wonderful.

Then tonight we saw a real show.

All of a sudden it hit me how cheap this is.

Just like this suit I'm wearing.

Yesterday, I thought it was wonderful too.

- It is. - No, it isn't.

It's a hick suit, loud and cheap, just like this show.

I've got lots to learn, Mae, and I can't learn it in these tank towns.

I'm going to New York.

I'll go along with you.

No, I gotta go by myself.

Paul, you can't just run out on me.

You've been good to me, Mae.

You got me a job when I needed it, and you made me grow up.

But I gotta go now alone.

I know what it is. It's that girl.

No, it isn't. I hate her.

But nobody's going to laugh at me, not her or anybody.

Some day I'll write a song.

And she'll come begging to sing it.

Then I'll do a little laughing myself.

But you can't...

You can't just run out.

Besides, you spent all your money on those clothes.

How you gonna get there?

I'll get there, all right.

Even if I have to walk.

Hi, Dave. Fill it up.

Sorry, Mack. No more credit.

- Skiddoo. - What do you mean, skiddoo?

- Three years I've been coming in here... - Fill it up, Dave. Hello, Mack.

- Hello, Charlie. How are you? - Fine, thanks.

How's the printing business?

Oh, we're going to do a nice business over there.

- You are? - Yeah, things are coming along.

- There you are. - Say, listen, I've got a new one for you.

- You wanna hear it? - Sure.

Come here, come here.

No, you got the wrong answer. Come here.

That tune, what is it?

It's a little thing called "Come Tell Me."

Brand new. Nice little tune, ain't it?

How do you happen to be playing it?

I'm just torturing myself wishing I had the rights to publish it.

I've got the rights. I wrote it. Somebody stole it from me.

Look, every time a hit tune comes out, 50 guys claim they wrote it.

Sally Elliott wrote this. It's the hit tune in her new show.

Sally Elliott? That proves it. She heard me play it.

You gonna get out of here, or will I call a cop?

Sally Elliott doesn't have to steal people's songs.

- She's too important a star for that. - Oh, she is, is she?

Well, wait a minute until I show you this.

Here.

You can read music, can't you?

Can I r...

McGuiness, can I read music?

Can he read music?

That's not my title, but it's my melody.

How do I know you didn't hear this tune and write it down?

Because I'm telling you I didn't. She heard me play that in Buffalo.

Come to think of it, this tune wasn't in the original score.

It was added after the show was brought into New York last week.

Maybe you've got something.

- McGuiness? - Hey!

McGuiness, what would you say if I told you

that Sally Elliott didn't write "Come Tell Me," but this guy did?

I'd say we all better go out and get drunk. After you sign him up.

In addition to being a good printer,

and a very poor cook,

McGuiness is a man of ideas.

Obviously, my friend, you need guidance.

Now, if you will sign right here,

you will have me handling your career.

Not so fast. I'm not signing anything yet.

Well, it's the usual form contract. That's all.

It merely means that if you're telling the truth,

I'll publish the song and you'll get the usual royalties.

Now, if you're going to accuse Sally Elliott of stealing your song,

you gotta have somebody behind you who knows the ropes.

Otherwise, they'd laugh you right out of town.

Give me that pen.

Right there, Mr... What did you say your name was?

Dresser.

Paul Dresser.

You can keep that one.

Pat Howley's my name. Howley Publishing Company.

Publishers of "My Gorgeous Gingham Girl."

You know, we got out a thousand copies of that the first day.

And we still got 990 of 'em.

Ten of them swept the country.

McGuiness has such a sense of humor.

- There you go, pop. - Thanks.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love is a wonderful Love is a beautiful ♪

♪ Love is a heavenly thing ♪

♪ Heavenly thing ♪

♪ But, oh ♪

♪ Well do we know the unbearable woe ♪

♪ And the terrible pain it can bring ♪

♪ Pain it can bring ♪

♪ Here in the night we shall see again ♪

♪ The lady for whom we sigh ♪

♪ She holds us in her spell ♪

♪ Like the spider holds the fly ♪

♪ Lady, Lady, lovely lady ♪

♪ Choose your heart's desire ♪

♪ When I place my arms around you, sweetheart ♪

♪ When I tell to you my tale of love ♪

♪ Of the future which now lies before us ♪

♪ Are brighter than the stars above ♪

♪ Do not think it just an idle fancy ♪

♪ For all the world a lover loves, you know ♪

♪ It's true mankind is fickle ♪

♪ Still I love you ♪

♪ Come tell me What's your answer? ♪

♪ Yes or no ♪

♪ You'll have to wait until tomorrow ♪

♪ Darling, must you tantalize me so? ♪

♪ I could say I love you ♪

♪ For I love you all ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ So I cannot answer yes or no ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la la ♪

♪ La-di, la la ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ Come tell me What's your answer? ♪

♪ But I don't know the answer ♪

♪ Come tell me What's your answer? ♪

Yes?

♪ Or ♪

♪ Mmm, no ♪

♪ Oh ♪

This way, friend.

Look, I want to make one thing clear.

I own the music, but I didn't write those words.

You're going to tell her it's your song, just like you said.

- Well, sure I am. - That's the ticket.

Come on. Let me handle this.

You were delightful, darling.

- Nice number, Miss Elliott. - Thank you.

Oh. Hello.

This is Mr. Dresser, Miss Elliott.

- Yes, we've met. - Oh, you remember me?

After the way you ruined my show in Buffalo, how could I forget you?

I thought you might.

People usually do that take songs that don't belong to them.

Are you accusing me of stealing your song?

I didn't give it to you, lady.

Now, let me handle this. This can be all worked out.

That's a cheap insinuation.

What could I expect from someone with your background?

I don't know what your background is,

but it certainly didn't keep you from stealing my song.

Oh, please, let's calm down and talk this over like gentlemen.

I've had all this kind of talk I want.

Fred, will you tell this carnival entertainer what this is all about?

- Why... - Mr. Haviland,

if she's going to take that attitude, I'm afraid we'll be compelled to sue.

Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary.

You and Miss Elliott have a remarkable talent for irritating each other.

It would be nice if you could approach her just once without breathing fire.

If she'd stop stealing my songs, I wouldn't approach her at all.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong.

The song is not stolen. We admit it's yours.

If you'd taken the trouble to investigate, you'd find it isn't even published yet.

Why, we've hunted all over for you to get your permission to do so.

I'm afraid you'll have to talk to me about that.

I hold the exclusive rights to all of Mr. Dresser's works.

But not to Miss Elliott's, and she wrote the words.

I don't need her words. I'll write 'em myself.

I'm sorry. If that's the way you feel, we'll take it out of the show at once.

All right, take it out of the show.

Please. Now, we can do business.

Look, let's not go off half-cocked just because we're mad at her.

The song's a hit with her words in.

Put some others in, it's liable not to go so good.

Oh, that's ridiculous. The people like my music, not her words.

Of course, your music is great. But you're an unknown.

It's a wonderful thing for an unknown to have a great star like Sally Elliott

sing and introduce his song.

You'll be made! Established overnight.

After that, you can do anything you want.

Maybe you're right.

After I get started, I won't need her or...

anybody.

Oh, yes. You're going to need me.

If you take a look at that contract, you'll see I got you signed up for life.

It's a deal.

Miss Elliott owns the words,

Mr. Dresser owns the music, and I publish it.

That seems to be satisfactory.

And, uh... if you'd like to get in on it,

I'll, uh... I'll give you a half interest in our firm for $5,000.

Very generous of you, considering you have a hit on your hands.

I know. It just kills me to do it.

But I'm afraid if I don't get somebody with cash,

I'll have to print it on wrapping paper.

McGuiness,

how many times have I told you you're never to drink when you're on the job?

Oh, I'd say about 10,000.

What's all this? Why the celebration?

For you, mademoiselle, I bake myself.

This cake, no foreign hand touch him.

You may not know it, Sally, but this is a great occasion.

One year ago tonight, I became your producer.

And your most devoted slave.

Fred, you're a darling.

- You're a darling too, Henri. - Me rci, m a da m e.

Everybody's a darling.

- Who belongs to... - I, uh, hope you won't be angry.

Tonight? How could I be?

Well, that's reassuring, because I invited Paul Dresser.

After all, the two of you wrote the biggest hit in New York.

There's no reason why you should go around glaring at each other.

I have no objections.

Except that the chair is a little close.

Oh, he's a fine composer, and we certainly do need good music.

Of course, he may not have time to drop in on us.

I understand he's taken to personally closing all the saloons in town.

Well, the heat of the limelight's made him a little thirsty.

He's young and, uh, still growing.

Particularly his head.

Well, do we drink to something, or do we just drink?

A toast to the toast of New York.

A girl who sparkles like champagne,

and takes the cake as soon as we finish the champagne.

You know, Sally,

that candle isn't just to celebrate our first year together.

It's a sort of a pale imitation of the bonfire in my heart.

That's the second pretty speech you've made in one minute.

Wait till you hear the third.

If you make the right answer, it will call for a much larger cake.

You know how much I like cake.

- Hello there, everybody. - Good evening.

Sorry to be late, old man, but I was playing the piano down at Pastors,

and just couldn't break away.

Oh, hello, Miss Elliott.

I'd like you folks to meet a good friend of mine.

Miss Elliott, Mr. Sullivan.

John L. Sullivan.

- Hello, John. - Hello, sweetheart.

Oh, you two know each other?

The only time I was ever knocked out in my life

was the first time I saw Sally dancing.

Bucko, let us sit down, get to drinking.

Nice of you to ask me, Haviland.

Oh. Somebody's birthday?

No, it couldn't be. Only one candle on it.

Oh, I get it. Say, this is nice.

Look at the cake, champ. They're celebrating my first song hit.

"Come Tell Me." That's a great song.

"Put your arms around me, sweetheart.

Give me your answer, yes or no."

World's champeen songwriter, this boy.

We didn't know whether you'd enjoy just a... a little party like this.

Oh, it's perfect. I wish I'd known you all were going to dress up.

Oh, it doesn't matter at all. I think your suit is stunning.

Well, thanks.

It's a lot different from the one I was wearing when we first met.

You know, uh, you were right.

I... It was loud.

Well, we all have to learn someplace.

But it didn't take you long to get on to New York.

Oh, New York isn't difficult for a fellow who can play the piano

and doesn't mind buying a few drinks.

Just think, you've done it all on one song.

There's no telling where you'll go if you ever write another one.

Well, I've already written it.

I wrote it in a bar down on Front Street. Here, I'll play it for you.

- Where you going, bucko? - I'm gonna play my new song hit.

- You are? - Join me at the piano.

Quiet, everybody. No talking.

Dresser's written another hit. He's gonna play it for us.

You're putting it on rather thick, Sally. I was afraid he might catch on.

No when you're talking about him.

He'll believe anything about himself as long as it's favorable.

Wait a minute, bucko.

Hey, you. You at the far table.

Let us have quiet over there.

That's John L. Sullivan.

Oh.

Well, it can't hurt us to listen.

It ca n hurt us not to listen.

- Oh! - Shh!

Well, that's catchy.

I wrote the words to this one myself.

♪ Why, oh, why do I love ♪

♪ Y-O-U ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all, oh ♪

- ♪ Oh, the pity of it all ♪ - Uh-huh.

♪ Why, oh, why wouldn't ♪

- ♪ Couldn't you love me too ♪ - ♪ Love me too ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all Oh, the pity of it all ♪

♪ I decided when I found you ♪

♪ You're the sweetest man in town ♪

♪ Build a million dreams around you ♪

♪ But you turned me down ♪

♪ Why, oh, why couldn't ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't you love me too ♪ - ♪ Love me too ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all Oh, the pity of it all ♪

♪ Why, oh, why do I love ♪

♪ Y-O-U ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all ♪

♪ Why, oh, why couldn't you love me too ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all Oh, the pity of it all ♪

♪ I decided when I found you ♪

♪ You're the sweetest man in town ♪

♪ Build a million dreams around you ♪

♪ But you turn me down ♪

♪ Why, oh, why wouldn't you ♪

♪ Say, "I do" ♪

♪ Oh, the pity of it all ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ Whoa ♪

♪ The pity of it all ♪

All right, you can talk now.

It was delightful.

It's a lot better than "Come Tell Me."

You know...

when I hear you sing, I... I just can't be mad at you.

I feel a little bit that way when you play.

Well, in that case I suggest that we, uh, be friendly from now on.

Very well. A truce.

That isn't what I meant, but, uh, we'll talk about it on the way home.

But I came here with Fred. I'm going home with him too.

You'll be going home with me.

How wrong you are.

I think Howley and Haviland have another hit on their hands.

We could probably use this number in the show too, if we take "Lazy Day" out of it.

I'm tired of that number, anyway.

♪ The pity of it all ♪

That's a smart tune.

This boy is really going places.

Bucko, that's a smart tune.

Thanks, champ.

Well, this is most inconsiderate.

Koster and Bials want me to go down to the Lighthouse and catch a special act.

Will you go with me, dear?

Oh, I-I don't think we should both leave, Fred.

You go on.

- All right, I'll pick you up later. - All right, dear.

- Good night, everybody. - Good night, Fred.

- Good night, Dresser. - Good night.

Oh, sorry you have to go.

Well, it can't be helped. I'll talk to you about that number tomorrow.

Fine.

Shall we go now?

Of course not.

Well, uh, let me know when you're ready.

Keep the change.

- Are you going to walk home? - On the clouds, I hope.

Say, this is nice.

You know, they told me the Halzi was the best place in town,

but it can't compare with this.

Thanks. I didn't build it, but I appreciate the compliment.

Good night, Mr. Dresser.

I'll see you in.

Say, I like this.

It's got style.

Thanks again for bringing me home. Good night.

Well, look, I'd like to look around a little more.

If you're referring to the inside of my suite,

I'll give a party sometime and have you over.

Oh, you don't need to go to all that trouble. I'll look around now.

I said good night, Mr. Dresser.

You know, I don't get it.

You saw me get rid of Fred with that trumped-up message.

You didn't say anything. You wanted to come with me.

Why the, uh, sudden change?

I just discovered I was intrigued by your music.

Good night.

I'll get it, Ida.

Good morning, Miss Elliott.

Are you still here, or did you come back?

I'm a neighbor of yours now.

You see, last night when I went home, I...

I couldn't sleep from thinking of this place.

I didn't want to get insomnia, so, uh,

I took a suite across the hall this morning.

How nice.

Ah, a piano. You know, I was hoping you had one.

I don't have one myself, yet.

But, uh, there's a new tune that keeps running through my mind,

and I'd like to get it set before I forget it.

I thought you did most of your composing in saloons.

Well, it all depends where I get my inspiration.

Last night, I, uh, got it here.

Do you mind?

Oh, no.

Of course not.

Thank you.

Go on with whatever you were doing. You won't bother me a bit.

I'm sure I won't.

I was just on my way to rehearsal.

If you want anything...

just ring for the maid.

Good-bye, Mr. Dresser.

Did you ring, sir?

Won't you come up?

I think I better go home and change, darling, but I'll see you at 7:00.

All right, Fred, at 7:00.

I think I've really got it.

♪ Here you are ♪

♪ As I dreamed that you would be ♪

♪ How near you are ♪

♪ Just a kiss away from me ♪

♪ Although I know ♪

♪ That we're on Earth below ♪

♪ I feel we're somewhere ♪

♪ On a star ♪

♪ Here you are ♪

♪ And I love you much too well ♪

♪ How dear you are ♪

♪ Dearer far than I can tell ♪

♪ Tonight I know it must be you ♪

♪ Or no one ♪

♪ So if you ♪

♪ Want my heart ♪

♪ Here you are ♪

♪ Here you are ♪

♪ As I dreamed that you would be ♪

♪ How near you are ♪

♪ Just a kiss away from me ♪

♪ Although I know ♪

♪ That we're on Earth below ♪

♪ I feel we're somewhere ♪

♪ On a star ♪

♪ Here you are ♪

♪ And I love you much too well ♪

♪ How dear you are ♪

♪ Dearer far than I can tell ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I know it must be you ♪

♪ Or no one ♪

♪ So if you ♪

♪ Want my heart ♪

♪ Here you are ♪

- Do you like it? - It's lovely.

At four o'clock, I knew I had it.

So I, uh, took the liberty of ordering a little spread for us.

A sort of celebration, you know. I hope you don't mind.

Oh! Why should I mind?

As an old tenant here, I want you to feel perfectly at home.

Ida?

Oh, um...

I've taken the liberty of...

giving her the evening off.

You take a lot of liberties, don't you?

Yes.

This is one too many.

Well, we can cancel the others.

This is the only important one.

Uh...

They tell me a lot of times people start out hating each other and...

end up this way.

I... I wish you'd go.

I have to get dressed. I have to go to the theater.

Well, you have an hour before you go to the theater.

Places. Places, everybody!

Sorry, Fred.

- What do I do? - Tell them to play the overture again.

- And again, if necessary. - All right.

McGuiness!

Come here.

Have you finished that run yet?

Why? Can't the great world of music lovers wait?

Listen, Dresser wrote another song last night,

"Here You Are."

Oh, it's simply great.

That guy keeps on writing songs, I'll have to get more help around here.

Oh, now you can handle it.

I'll have a keg of lager sent in.

That's an idea.

For you, mademoiselle, I bake myself.

This cake, no foreign hand touch him.

That's "Come Tell Me," that's "The Pity of It All,"

and that's "Here You Are."

I wanted to have a party for each song when it came out,

but when you write two at once, what can I do?

At this rate, it won't be long before we'll have to have a bigger cake.

And you know how much Sally likes cake.

Koster tells me he's going to take a vacation, probably in Saratoga.

McGuiness has got a cold. Maybe he better go to Saratoga.

I know where he is, and so do you too. What's the use in fooling ourselves?

Ever since society took him up,

he doesn't have any time for common clay like us.

Queer thing about genius is you always hear of them burning in an attic,

but you always see them burning in the brightest places in town.

No matter what you think, he's just as serious about his work as he ever was.

Why, he has a wonderful melody, and he wants to put words to it.

It's an idea about his home on the banks of the Wabash.

"Banks of the Wabash."

Farm stuff.

Who cares anything about farms? And whoever heard of the Wabash?

But if it's a good tune, we might change it to the Hudson.

Here comes the genius.

How are you?

- Well, how are you, George? - Fine, thank you.

Oh, uh, Countess, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.

Certainly.

Sorry to be late, Sal, but I didn't realize time was passing so fast.

Mariana, I'd like you to meet, uh, Miss Elliott.

Miss Elliott, Countess Rossini.

How do you do, Miss Elliott?

I've enjoyed your performances so very much.

I've heard a great deal about yours too, Countess.

And, uh... my publisher, Mr. Haviland, and Mr. Howley.

- How do you do? - How are you?

Oh, uh, I, uh, brought some friends of mine along.

I hope you don't mind, Sal.

Look, do you mind if we move the cake over to a bigger table?

Don't bother. I was just leaving.

Now, look, Sal, I know you've been waiting. I...

This is the last cake you'll get from me. The next one you'll get in your face.

- Sally, I... - And as for the candles,

you can burn them at your wake as far as I'm concerned.

Uh, you'll have to excuse me.

Yeah, me too. Uh...

Uh, appointment.

Look...

Darling, I thought you said we were going to meet some friends of yours.

Striking. Very striking.

It's a pleasure to make clothes for a figure like yours, Mr. Dresser.

Just a moment.

An errant thread.

Excuse me.

- Sally. - Hello, Paul.

Well, this is a surprise. But a nice one. Come on in.

- Busy? - Oh, I'm just trying on a few suits. Uh...

You mind if I finish? Miss Elliott, Mr. Jansen.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Handsome?

It's the nicest suit I ever saw on you, Paul.

Oh, come on in here. I'll show you some others.

I'm awfully sorry I lost my temper, Paul.

I kept waiting for you to knock on my door so I could tell you.

But you didn't, so I knocked on yours.

Oh, but I... I would have been over long ago,

but I didn't want a cake in my face.

Come on.

I threw away all my old ones and just turned Jansen loose.

Do you get a better price when you order them by the dozen?

Oh, when you have a tailor like Jansen, you don't discuss price.

All the best people go to him.

You mean like the countess's husband?

I believe that takes care of everything, Mr. Dresser.

If you let me have that coat, I'll take it to the shop

and get it back in plenty of time for you to pack.

Thank you, Jansen.

I hope you have a very pleasant trip, Mr. Dresser.

Good-bye, Miss Elliott.

- Bon voyage. - Thank you. Bye-bye.

I didn't know you were going away.

Well, if we'd been speaking, I would have told you.

How long will you be gone?

Oh, just a short while. I'm going to Cuba.

That'll be nice.

Oh, but what about the song? The Wabash song?

We were going to use it in the show, you know.

Well, I... I don't seem to be able to work around here anymore. I...

I need a change.

On the ship there won't be anything to do, and I'll have plenty of time for work.

Now, look, Sal, will you excuse me while I jump in the tub?

Oh, I think I'd better run along.

No, don't go. I'll only be a minute.

Mr. Dresser, may I see him, please?

He's busy right now.

But I have a message from the countess Rossini.

- I'll give it to him. - No.

I regret. It is confidential.

Well, I'm his confidential secretary.

He keeps nothing from me.

The message is this.

The countess will meet Mr. Dresser and the party on the boat.

Oh.

- She will, will she? - Yes.

The count came home last night. You will be sure you will not forget?

Never.

Not if I live to be 90.

Cuba?

Sorry to have kept you...

Sally!

Open up!

Is she here?

- No, sir she's gone... - Well, where is she?

- She's been gone some time ago. - Oh!

Is anything wrong, Mr. Dresser?

- Man, what you doing? - Oh, you'll see.

- Man, you're crazy. - Uh, you bet I am.

Ah. This must have cost at least $69.

There he is. Stark staring insane.

Now, come along quietly, me lad, and I won't have to split your head.

Mind your own business. This has nothing to do with you.

All right, it's your skull.

What you in for, brother?

Oh, uh...

I'm Jack the Ripper.

♪ A convict sat in a prison cell ♪

♪ Doomed all the days of his life ♪

♪ And his thoughts went out to the ones he loved ♪

♪ To his home, to his babe ♪

♪ And wife ♪

♪ A songbird lit on his windowsill ♪

♪ And the poor soul's heart was stirred ♪

♪ For he seemed to sing of the days gone by ♪

♪ To the convict sang the bird ♪

That's very nice!

But will you run along? I'm tired!

Sorry, ma'am!

Mr. Dresser hired us to sing for three hours!

He told us to tell you that he wrote this song especially for you.

♪ He seemed to sing of the sunshine ♪

♪ He seemed to sing of the clouds ♪

♪ He seemed to sing of prosperity ♪

♪ And of poverty's somber shroud ♪

♪ He seemed to sing of freedom ♪

♪ In the sky near the sun's bright rays ♪

♪ And that he brought to his arms ♪

♪ The bird, it flew away ♪

♪ It flew away ♪

♪ Come to me each day ♪

♪ Come to me, I pray ♪

♪ Now, messenger of freedom ♪

♪ Come to me ♪

♪ Come to me ♪

♪ The convict like the bird ♪

♪ Would fain be free ♪

♪ Fain be free ♪

Well, thanks for the ride, fellas.

We go all the way with you.

Oh, how cozy.

Excuse me.

Coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie.

- Boy or girl? - A boy.

Amazing.

Well, thanks again, fellas.

Oh, we're staying right here.

Oh. Wouldn't you rather come in, have a little drink?

You see, you're still sort of on probation, Mr. Dresser.

You can't come out until you write a song called, uh...

A song called "Banks of the Wabash."

Any particular key you'd like for me to write it in?

Well, I don't know about that.

Just so it's something Miss Elliott can sing.

She fixed this with the judge.

Oh. Judge is a conniver.

No, a democrat.

♪ Round my Indiana homestead wave the cornfields ♪

♪ In the distance loom the woodlands clear and cool ♪

♪ Oftentimes my thoughts revert to scenes of childhood ♪

♪ Where I first received my lessons ♪

♪ Nature's school ♪

♪ But one thing there is missing ♪

♪ In the picture ♪

♪ Without her face ♪

♪ It seems so incomplete ♪

♪ I long to see my mother in the doorway ♪

♪ As she stood there years ago ♪

♪ Her child to greet ♪

♪ Oh, the moonlight's fair tonight ♪

♪ Along the Wabash ♪

♪ From the fields there comes the breath of new-mown hay ♪

♪ Through the sycamores the candlelights are gleaming ♪

♪ On the banks ♪

♪ Of the Wabash ♪

♪ Far away ♪

♪ With a hey and a hi and a he and a ho ♪

♪ Let's us go stepping on the Broadway show ♪

♪ Swing your lady, hold her tight ♪

♪ And you might get treated to a kiss tonight ♪

♪ Ha, ha, ha, you and me ♪

♪ Little brown jug, how I love thee ♪

♪ Ha, ha, ha, you and me ♪

♪ Little brown jug, how I love thee ♪

♪ Ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha ♪

♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la ♪

♪ Ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha ♪

♪ La, la, la, la la, la, la ♪

♪ On the banks of the Wabash far away ♪

- For Mr. Dresser, please. - Yes, ma'am.

♪ Oh, the moonlight's fair tonight ♪

♪ Along the Wabash ♪

♪ From the fields there comes the breath of new-mown hay ♪

♪ Through the sycamores the candlelights are gleaming ♪

♪ On the banks ♪

♪ Of the Wabash ♪

♪ Far away ♪

Pardon me, sir. The lady in the box asked me to give you this.

Thanks.

Tell the lady I'm sorry, but, uh, I already have an engagement.

Yes, Mr. Dresser.

You know, that was Henri's best cake.

I'm still a little worried because we didn't blow out that last candle.

Well, what are you worrying about, bad luck?

Well...

Not tonight.

That Wabash number's going to make us over a million.

People love songs about rivers. It's going over great.

I'll drive you all home.

What's that?

See Fort George by moonlight.

It's a joyride street car,

where all the small-time Romeos take their girls sparking on it.

- How about it, honey? - Oh, it'll be fun.

- Thanks just the same, Fred. - You're welcome.

Bye, Pat. Oh, Conductor, you got room for two more?

♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪

♪ Give me your answer, do ♪

♪ I'm half-crazy ♪

♪ All for the love of you ♪

You know, Fred, nice fellas like us never get anywhere with women.

It's always the hounds that get the gravy.

Go ahead, Wilson. We'll walk.

You be careful up there!

Pretzels! Pretzels!

Well, it, uh, looks like we're here for the night.

Madam, this gives me an opportunity to get something off my chest

that's been there for a long time.

Darling.

That's thanks for keeping me from going to Cuba.

You don't need to thank me. I did it in self-defense.

This is the sort of thing men give women when they have a guilty conscience.

What have you been up to?

Nothing. Cross my heart and hope to be dashed to the ground

and broken into a million pieces, if I'm not telling the truth.

It seems you're on pretty thin ice.

He knows something.

Maybe they saw the countess in the box tonight too.

Oh, I-I know she was there. She even invited me to a party.

But I turned her down flat.

From now on in, the countess and I are through.

What are you trying for? A duchess?

No. No countesses, no duchesses,

no one "elseses".

Just you.

I'd like to believe that. I wish I could.

To show you how much I mean it...

Will you marry me, Sal?

Paul!

Uh, when? When the show closes?

Uh-uh. Saturday night.

Then we'll have all day Sunday for our honeymoon.

A whole day.

What more could a girl ask for?

Then, Monday morning, like any other human being, I'll go to work.

Sal, I'm going to write a complete score for a musical comedy.

Why should I stop at just single numbers?

I'll get Bill Hewitt to write the book,

and we'll write the greatest hit you were ever in.

Paul.

Happy, darling?

Happy?

That isn't the word for it.

Good night, Mr. Dresser.

Sweetheart.

Good night?

You know that's what people say when leaving each other for the evening.

- Well, who's leaving? - You are.

- Kiss me good night, darling. - I'll be hanged if I will.

- Shh! - I wouldn't have asked you to marry me

if I thought you were going to act like this.

You'll never get out of it now.

Pleasant dreams.

Good night.

Good night.

- Morning, Wilson. - Good morning, sir.

Uh, Mr. Dresser.

These gentlemen, sir.

- Mr. Dresser? - Yes?

I'm Monsieur de Rochemont.

And this is Monsieur Garnier.

We represent Count Rossini.

Represent? Lawyers?

Seconds.

Seconds?

You know, I... I'm afraid I don't quite understand.

In regard to a certain matter pertaining to the count's household,

the count demands satisfaction.

Oh, you mean the count's worried about his wife?

Well, tell him not to be worried any longer.

My, uh, friendship with her is a thing of the past.

The count intends to make certain of it.

I trust these weapons will meet with your satisfaction?

See here, this is ridiculous. The whole thing is absolutely absurd.

I... I don't know anything about pistols.

Perhaps Monsieur Dresser would prefer rapiers?

Oh, the choice is up to you. Would you prefer rapiers?

Look, I'd prefer not to do any fighting at all. There's nothing to fight about.

The count thinks otherwise. He's waiting for you now.

Look, I don't intend making a fool of myself.

I'm not going with you, and I'm not fighting any duels.

Monsieur Dresser.

I shall inform the count that he has challenged a coward.

Look, you're not going to inform the count anything.

I'll do it myself. Now, get going.

After you, sir.

Just a second.

Accept my apology for the long ride, monsieur, but here we are.

Look, I want you to get this through your head.

If there's any fighting to be done, it will be with my fists.

And after I get through with the count, I'll...

Darling, before you're killed, we are going to fill you with champagne.

- Say, what is this? - Come on.

Which one's the count?

Oh, the count is in Saratoga, trying to cure his gout.

That much of the story was true.

Well, I must admit I was a little bit scared.

Oh, you're not out of the woods yet.

Unless you play "Banks of the Wabash" for us, you will have to fight a duel.

First, a drink to bring back the color in your cheeks.

Darling, are you angry with me?

No, I had a very good reason for not accepting your invitation.

That can only mean one thing.

I'm getting married Saturday to Sally Elliott.

What's so tragic about that?

Are you going to stop living?

I think everyone should be married. I am.

Here is to marriage.

But this marriage is going to be a little different.

This marriage is going to be complete and permanent.

Permanent?

Permanent is a long time.

Darling, if you're going to do anything as drastic as that,

I think you should celebrate between now and Saturday.

More wine?

Well, I can't stay until Saturday,

but, uh, I don't think there's any harm in another drink.

- Good morning, Fred. - Oh, good morning, darling.

You sure Paul won't go to rehearsal with us?

We didn't get home until after 2:00.

I imagine he's still asleep.

Darling, what shall it be? Pistols or rapiers?

Champagne.

- Well, thanks for bringing me home. - You're welcome.

It was so nice, I think I shall challenge you again.

Home, Pierre.

Good morning, Sally.

Sal...

- Well, wait a minute. - It won't take that long.

I can tell you what I think of you in ten seconds.

You're a cheap, lying, scheming, contemptible... I'm through with you.

Look, Sal, if you'll let me explain, I can tell you how it all happened.

Oh, I know how it happened. I don't need a diagram.

And I don't need this either.

But, Sal, look, I...

Excuse me, Dresser. To the theater, please.

Sal, look, this isn't what it seems to be. Look.

Will you... Sal, please, listen to me, will you?

Will you let me try to explain?

Sal!

Darling, I think you ought to get out of town for a while.

How'd you like to go on tour?

Oh, Fred, could we?

A long way from town.

I'll have to buy Koster and Bials off, but it's worth it.

Don't you ever get tired of picking me up after I'm knocked down?

One of these days, I'm going to pick you up and keep you for myself.

♪ Me and my fella and a big umbrella ♪

♪ On the beach on a Sunday afternoon ♪

♪ Here in the sun ♪

♪ We can hug and kiss ♪

♪ And we don't even miss the moon ♪

♪ Me and my fella have a big umbrella ♪

♪ So if rain starts to patter from above ♪

♪ We're alone ♪

♪ In our own ♪

♪ Little paradise of love ♪

♪ Beside the seaside you'll see me ♪

♪ And my fella and a big umbrella ♪

♪ On the beach on a Sunday afternoon ♪

♪ Every Sunday afternoon ♪

♪ There in the sun we can hug and kiss ♪

♪ And we don't even miss the moon ♪

♪ Me and my fella have a big umbrella ♪

♪ So if rains starts to patter from above ♪

- ♪ We're alone ♪ - ♪ All alone ♪

- ♪ In our own ♪ - ♪ In our own ♪

♪ Little paradise of love ♪

♪ Wouldn't it be kind of darling ♪

♪ If we started out together on the trolley ♪

♪ And we went a-riding through a little hideaway beside the sea ♪

♪ Dreaming by the blue Atlantic ♪

♪ Deary, you and I could be a bit romantic ♪

♪ And about as happy as a pair of birdies sittin' in a tree ♪

♪ Yes, indeed, it would be dandy to enjoy ♪

♪ A Sunday where it's rather sandy ♪

♪ But a pretty lady needn't be afraid to show a pretty limb ♪

♪ Even if it's cloudy weather ♪

♪ We can have an awful lot of fun together ♪

♪ And of course, if we can think of nothing better ♪

♪ We could even swim ♪

She was lovely tonight, Mr. Haviland.

She's always lovely.

Oh, Miss Elliott, I've got some new numbers I'd like you to hear.

Just got 'em from New York. Can you listen?

- Sure, I'll listen. - Swell.

This is a great novelty song. Got no mush in it.

Doesn't mention moon, doesn't mention June, doesn't mention spoon.

Ain't much of a tune either. I think you'll like it though.

♪ You don't belong to the regulars ♪

♪ You're just a volunteer ♪

♪ You're only one of the rank and file ♪

♪ But someone holds you dear ♪

♪ Many a mother's heart will ache ♪

♪ And in the coming year ♪

♪ Uncle Sam will take off his hat to you, Mr. Volunteer ♪

♪ Say, you don't belong to the regulars ♪

♪ You're just a... ♪

Stinks, doesn't it?

- I don't like that one. It's not my type. - Whose type is it?

You know it's no good. I know it's no good.

But if I admit it, I get fired.

First flop Dresser ever had.

- Did he write that? - Yeah.

But I got a little love song I think you'll like.

You know, "cottage small by a waterfall for two" sort of a thing.

I don't want to hear any love songs either.

Oh, but you'll love this love song. You ain't against love, are you?

- All right, Wiley. Let it go for tonight. - Yeah, but she can't be against...

Oh, I see. Okay. Catch you later, Miss Elliott.

Pardon me. Good night, Miss Elliott.

I'm glad he had a flop.

He's had one coming to him for a long time.

Oh, in fact, I hope he has 50 flops.

Now that you brought the subject up, I'm inclined to agree with you.

I hope he has a hundred.

Let's pool them.

Between us, that'll give him 150 flops.

And if you count that countess, it'll give him 151.

Hurry up and change, darling. We'll go out and have supper, huh?

I tell you, I must see him.

I'm sorry, sir. I have my orders.

Mr. Dresser hasn't seen anybody in over three weeks.

Not even the countess Rossini?

Not even anybody.

But I... I bear a message from his mother.

I'm going to have to break it to him.

Is it bad news, sir?

I'm afraid so.

Well, in that case, I'd guess you'd better go up.

Thank you.

Oh, uh, is she ill, sir?

No, she dropped a stitch in her embroidery.

Oh.

What? Hey, you!

There's a mad man coming up the stairs. I mean mad.

I left instructions I didn't want to be disturbed, Pat.

I did that because I didn't want to be disturbed.

I don't blame you for holing up, not wanting to see anybody.

I haven't wanted to see anybody either, ever since we published "Volunteer."

But now you've had your drunk, you've have your cry.

It's time to buckle down and go to work again.

Look, I've forgotten all about "Volunteer," and I have been working.

There. Take a look at that.

That's almost all of a complete score I've been writing.

Pretty heavy. Sure it isn't an opera?

You're just weak.

That's the lightest, gayest musical number you ever heard.

Light, huh? Gay?

Maybe it does you good to have your heart broken.

Maybe you ought to have it broken every week. We'd be rich.

Oh, by the way.

I see the clipper says that Sally is knocking them dead in San Francisco.

Is she?

You and Sally ought to get back together. You need each other.

I don't need her, and she evidently doesn't need me.

So that makes us even.

But her picture looked awful good on the front of our songs.

You're a romantic soul, Pat.

I see why you want us back together again.

That picture on the cover sold a few more copies, huh?

That is definitely it.

But at the same time, I wouldn't object to having you happy again.

And I wouldn't object to you getting out of here so I can go back to work.

Very well, Mr. Dresser, I'll go.

I'll take this with me, and I hope I don't like it.

- What do you mean? - I've never been right about a hit yet.

It's a wonderful house tonight. You could stay in San Francisco forever.

Maybe I will. I like the town.

Wiley's got some new numbers he wants me to hear.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Good evening, Miss Elliott. Hiya.

Have I got something. Delicious. Delightful.

I'm sorry, Wiley, Miss Elliott doesn't feel like listening to any numbers.

Well, neither do I, but it's my job.

Oh, you've just got to hear this. You'll love this. Please.

You're so anxious, you must have written it yourself.

Me? I hate music.

♪ They called her Frivolous Sal ♪

♪ A peculiar sort of a gal ♪

♪ With a heart that was mellow ♪

♪ An all-round good fellow ♪

♪ Was my old pal ♪

- Like? - Uh-huh.

That would be great for you, Sal. The words fit like a glove.

It's terrific. Even I like it.

And Miss Elliott, you'll scoop the whole country. Why, it's not published yet.

I got it hot from the composer's quill.

- Who wrote it? - Some southern composer, from the South.

His name is, uh, Fletcher Hastings or Hastings Fletcher.

- I don't know. It's not written here. - What else has he done?

What else has he...

Oh, well, he wrote a jiggy little thing called "Southern Moon."

Or was it "Moon of the South"? I'm not sure.

And then there was another one called "Cornpone Shuffle."

You know, this number's just right.

Why couldn't we make a production number out of it?

- What do you think, Wiley? - What do you think I played it for?

Miss Elliott, if this isn't the biggest hit you've ever had, I'll quit my job.

Gosh, wouldn't that be wonderful?

♪ They called her Frivolous Sal ♪

♪ A peculiar sort of a gal ♪

♪ With a heart that was mellow ♪

♪ An all-round good fellow was my old pal ♪

♪ Your troubles, sorrows and cares ♪

♪ She was always willing to share ♪

♪ A wild sort of devil ♪

♪ But dead on the level ♪

♪ Was my gal Sal ♪

♪ You affect me sentimentally ♪

♪ And incidentally ♪

♪ You sing like birds ♪

But...

♪ I didn't understand ♪

♪ The words ♪

♪ They called her Frivolous Sal ♪

♪ Is that me? ♪

♪ A peculiar sort of a gal ♪

♪ Oh, could be ♪

♪ With a heart that was mellow ♪

♪ An all-round good fellow ♪

♪ Was my old pal ♪

♪ Do you mean I've been fair ♪

♪ Your troubles, sorrows and cares ♪

♪ Do you mean that I'm ♪

♪ Always willing to share ♪

♪ A wild sort of devil ♪

- Oh! - ♪ But dead on the level ♪

- ♪ Was my ♪ - ♪ Thank you one and all ♪

- ♪ Gal ♪ - ♪ I'm the gal they call ♪

♪ Sal ♪

♪ A wild sort of devil ♪

♪ But dead on the level ♪

♪ Was my gal ♪

- ♪ Sal ♪ - ♪ Just a regular gal ♪

Glorious, darling.

I knew if I hung around this business long enough, I'd see something like this.

Thank you both.

And, Wiley, thanks for getting the number for me.

Oh, by the way, the composer's in town.

In fact, he's in your dressing room right now. He was too nervous to come out.

I'll go in and see him. Oh, his name is, uh, uh, Fletcher Hastings, isn't it?

No, no, I was wrong. It's Fitch.

- Oh, yeah, Fitch. - Fitch, his name again.

- Wait, Ida. - Maybe it was Montgomery.

What does this mean? What are you doing in San Francisco?

Oh, nothing could keep me away when Pat told me you were going to sing my number.

- Your number? - Yeah, and you did it beautifully.

So you wrote it?

If I'd known that, I never would have sung a note. It would have stuck in my throat.

I don't get it.

Why did you beg to sing my number if you didn't want it?

Beg for it?

Why, somebody told me a long story about writing it in a cotton field.

Oh, I see. Pat playing Cupid.

Get out of here, and take this cake with you.

Well, that's for you. I brought it all the way from New York.

It's a little stale, but the sentiment's awfully pretty.

Get out of here.

Mm-mmm.

Oh.

You know, you're still as unreasonable as you ever were.

I'm not coming 3,000 miles to be pushed away by you, you know.

No! No, you don't!

All they had to do was get together and talk it out reasonably.

♪ They called her Frivolous Sal ♪

♪ A peculiar sort of a gal ♪

♪ With a heart that was mellow ♪

♪ An all-round good fellow ♪

♪ Was my old pal ♪

♪ My old pal ♪

♪ Your troubles, sorrows and cares ♪

♪ She was always willing to share ♪

♪ A wild sort of devil ♪

♪ But dead on the level ♪

♪ Was my gal ♪

♪ Sal ♪