Original subtitles

Pretty lucky, you know that?

Lucky? My wife shot me.

Well, it's above your shoulder and it's barely a flesh wound.

An inch down, it would've stopped your heart,

so, yeah, you're lucky.

Well, here's to my wife's bad aim.

From the looks of this place, you two had

a pretty heated argument?

My wife's a good person with a bad drinking problem

and even worse jealous streak.

Anything in particular happen to activate that jealous streak?

She thought the girl behind the counter

at the bodega was flirting with me.

Okay. Day before, it was some woman

on the subway.

Day before that, it was our waitress.

Should I keep going?

Okay, she's got a jealous streak.

We get it. Where is she now?

She ran out the second I called 911.

I tried to stop her, but...

Any idea where she might go?

Like I said, she's got a drinking problem.

Any particular watering hole she'd go to?

Any hole with water.

Hey, got a minute? Nope.

Okay.

But for you, I will make one. What's going on?

Well, they got me on this Costello robbery.

Bad guy robbed an old lady on her way home

from the grocery store.

Wait, didn't they tell you? Tell me what?

I'm knocking that down to a misdemeanor petty larceny.

What.

Because I've got 500 other cases ahead of it

that need our time and resources.

Ahead of an old lady getting robbed? No.

What I mean is, there is no case.

It's her word against his.

There's no weapon, there's no surveillance footage.

He's a first-time offender.

The judge will give me the stink eye before I even get,

"Good morning, Your Honor," out of my mouth.

So you're gonna cut bait? Yeah, that's my job.

That's your new job.

Do you have a problem with my new position?

Only that the old Erin would've clotheslined this new Erin

in a steel cage match to see this case through.

This new guy Reagan's more Boy Scout than NYPD.

Gave me a rip 'cause I wasn't wearing my flashlight

during the day.

Exactly. Sarge is handing out CD's

like demerits back in Catholic school.

I pass him this morning, I say under my breath,

"Is that a stick up your butt or you just happy to see me?"

Now I'm working midnights.

What you get when your old man's the Commissioner.

He's not the first boss who thought he could change the 2-9.

Bide your time, boys.

I give it about a month before he's begging Daddy

for a transfer out of here.

You really think I'm gonna say that?

I'm starting to think maybe not?

Definitely not.

Perhaps you could say that,

while you appreciate Istanbul's offer,

you are unable to accept

the police chief's invitation at present.

Or just say that you're under the weather.

Why don't you just tell the truth?

That Istanbul's police practices make you long

for good old-fashioned martial law.

Where's Garrett?

He's held up at the Bed-Stuy community outreach town hall.

What are you gonna say when you talk to Istanbul?

I don't know.

I'm at my best when I just wing it.

But boss? I'm betting this guy's seen

every duck and heard every excuse ever invented.

Well, maybe I can come up with a new one.

Commissioner, this is a code red.

We have a credible threat.

Please step away from the window.

Commissioner Reagan, if you would confirm your identity.

Welcome to Bravo Bunker.

Bravo Bunker?

Thank you, Chief.Commissioner.

Can I ask where we are? Bravo Bunker.

Yeah, we got the name. What is this place?

This is where we go when everywhere else is a no-go.

And has that happened?

Commissioner, your computer is online

and your secure phone is confirmed and ready for use.

Thank you, Inspector. How'd we do?

Record best time for the weekday scenario.

Good. Well done, everyone. At ease.

Boss, I'm definitely not at ease.

So we're not under attack?

No, this was just a drill,

but had there been an attack,

you would've followed the same procedure.

This place is no joke.

We're fully operational here.

Pretty much anything we do at 1PP, we can do here.

Except order pizza in.

In order to access

this building, you'll need this card.

Keep it on you at all times.

And you can't even tell

your priest about this place.

If you don't see them in this room,

you can't talk to them about it.

Why are we on the list all of a sudden, may I ask?

No.

No, we're not on the list?

No, you may not ask.

Anything?

Wife's name is Clara Hayes.-

She's gone. Vanished. No online activity.

No hits on the license plate readers. Nothing.

She'll show up.

Why don't you seem more worried?

Because her last ATM transaction was three days ago.

She withdrew $100.

When that runs out, she's gonna have to

use the card again or her credit card,

and when that happens,

this phone's gonna ring.

But you heard her husband, she's a drunk.

What if she's passed out in some alley somewhere?

If she's passed out in an alley somewhere,

she's gonna wake up eventually, and when she does,

she's gonna want some food or, most likely, another drink.

I think we should check the emergency rooms.

Already did.

And the homeless shelters

Reagan.

Yeah, what do you got?

Yeah, the Edward Joseph Hotel over there

by the Queensboro Bridge, I know it.

You're kidding me.

Thank you.

She just opened up a tab at a rooftop bar.

I love rooftop bars.

Me, too. Let's crash the party.

Sorry I'm late, I...

That's right.

Start the paperwork.

Mrs. Costello.

Let me get back to you.

Come in, come in. Here, let me make some room.

I'm sorry to bother you.

It's no bother at all.

You're still upset?

I just don't understand. I was assaulted.

I was robbed. The police

saw the bump on my head,

and then you're telling me

you're knocking my case down to nothing.

Look, I-I'll be honest with you, Mrs. Costello,

I-I feel exactly the same way as you.

So then why are you doing it? My hands are tied.

The D.A.'s office decides which cases they're gonna prosecute.

It's not right, Anthony.

Believe me, I know.

You keep agreeing with me, I'm gonna bop you on the head.

At least fight with me.

Here, come on, you can punch me on the arm.

Come on.

There, feel better?

Nope.

Look, I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Costello, I really am.

I don't know what the world is coming to

when a woman can be held at gunpoint

and there's not a damn thing the city can do about it.

Again, I-I'm...

Wait, did you say held up at gunpoint?

That's right.

There's no mention of a gun

in the police report.

Well, there should've been.

That little rat held it right here at my ribs.

And you told the cops?

Yes, I did.

Well, somehow it didn't make it into the report.

Mrs. Costello, this changes everything.

It does? Yeah.

Hell yeah.

Now we got him on a B violent felony.

Is that good? Very.

Hi, this is.

Detective Abetemarco, I called you about that prisoner.

Do not release him.

Anyone ever tell you you look great in stripes?

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Um, what-what brings you down here anyway?

Nice to see you, too, sweetheart.

I just mean that I wasn't expecting you.

That's because it was a surprise.

Surprise! Thank you.

Eggplant parmesan hero from Di Palo's. Whoa.

Taste of the old neighborhood.

That's really nice of you.

Is everything okay? Sure.

'Cause you don't seem okay with me being here.

I'm fine. Really?

'Cause I'm definitely getting

a "not fine" vibe.

Just working, Eddie.

So how's it going down here?

You haven't really had a chance to break it down.

Good.

Is the 2-9 really as tough as they all say it is?

Busy. Lot of bad guys on the streets,

much busier than the 12th.

What about off the streets?

In the station house, I mean.

Are you getting along with th.

Well, I'm a sergeant now.Right.

Means I'm not their buddy. Sure, but...

But what?

Nothing. You were right.

I should get out of your way. Um...

Probably shouldn't kiss you good

I'll check in with you later. Thank you for lunch.

You wanted to see me, Sarge? Please.

Clara, whatever you think is so bad,

I promise you is not so bad.

I shot my husband.

I tried to kill the only person who ever loved me.

The only man who ever saw any good in me.

I got an idea.

You got your phone? Yeah.

I want you to text me.

What do you want me to say?

I'm a drunk.

I am worthless.

Take my hand

and let's talk about this inside.

No, I'm not stupid. If I go with you, you'll take to jail

for attempted murder.

You send it?

Come on, come on, come on.

Sent it.

Tell Richard I'm sorry.

Tell him he was right.

I was never worthy of him.

Clara! Don't do it!

Clara! Look at me.

Look at me, Clara.

It doesn't have to be a death sentence.

Lieutenant.

Can I try something?

What do you got, Danny?

Hey, Clara? I have someone here that wants to speak to you.

Clara?

Detective Reagan.

I was first on the scene with your husband.

How is he

Richard's fine. Okay? He's got a flesh wound,

he's on his feet, he'll be like new in no time.

He hates me. No, he doesn't.

He sent me with a message. Look.

Look, come on, look at this.

That's his words.

He sent you that?

He forgives you, okay?

He wants you to be safe. He loves you.

Now let me get you down from there,

get you back to him, he can tell you those words himself.

All right?

Okay?

Yeah.

All right.

I'm sorry.Okay. It's okay. Okay.

It's all right.

All right, all right.

We got a positive ID... Yep.

A confession from the shooter.-

You've got the weapon,

and ballistics confirms it's the gun.

Yep.

I'm sorry, what have you done with my brother Danny Reagan?

Always with the jokes.

Well, can you blame me? You usually come in here

with a half-baked case and a hunch.

Today, you're walking in with a royal flush.

No, today, I walked in

with a pair of twos and three stragglers.

What are you talking about?

Something's not right about it.

It's too easy.

You are impossible.

No, I'm serious. Let me guess.

It's your gut. No,

it's not my gut, okay?

I can't explain it, it just doesn't pass the smell test.

Then plug your nose, because this is a slam dunk.

You have a defendant indicating

she's gonna plead guilty.

No, no. Do not let her do that.

Okay. That's enough. Get out.

No, I'm dead serious, okay?

At least not yet, anyway.

Something isn't right.

Yeah, it's... it's you.

Now go.

Go!

Even when I don't want your help, you won't help.

You're kidding me.

This is great news.

Anthony.

Steak dinner on me.

You name the time and the place...

What the hell are you doing?

That's the exact question I want to ask you.

What are you talking about?

Why am I getting e-mails asking when we're presenting

the Costello robbery case to the grand jury?

Yeah, yeah, look, it's good news. I specifically said

we were offering a misdemeanor on that case.

Yeah, but something's come up.

It's a much better case now.

Is that right? A hundred percent.

Interesting. Because when I look around this office, I don't see

a law degree anywhere.

Wow.

Now you're gonna play like that?

Yeah, I'm gonna play any way I want, Anthony.

Careful Erin. No, you be careful.

Now drop it.

What?

You heard me.

I can't do that.

Yes, this is A.D.A. Reagan.

You did not just do...

There was a gun, Erin. What gun?

T-the perp stuck a-a nine

right in old lady Costello's ribs.

There is no mention of a gun on that police report, Anthony.

There was a mix-up with the paperwork,

we got it sorted out. We also got the gun.

We could put this punk away on a B felony.

Why didn't you tell me that?

I've been trying... No, you haven't.

Not hard enough.

I'm sorry.

I want that paperwork on my desk now.

Every "I" better be dotted, every "T" better be crossed.

Yes, ma'am.

Baez.

You know, your hunch sucks, Reagan.

There is nothing unusual with Richard Hayes's credit cards,

nothing unusual on his social media.

Nothing, nada.

Yeah, but there's something there.

What makes you so sure there's something going on with him?

I just know it. Something doesn't feel right.

Well, everything in the evidence says it feels great.

You're wrong, Reagan.

No, I'm not wrong this time, Baez.

I know it's tough to swallow,

but even the great Danny Reagan can be wrong sometimes.

Yes.

I canbe wrong, on that rare occasion.

However, this isn't that time.

Phone records, credit cards, bank records,

social media, employee file.

Every single one of them checks out squeaky clean.

Every single one except this one.

What the hell is that?

I followed the heartbroken husband Richard Hayes,

right into the loving and waiting arms of his girlfriend.

Who is she? I don't know.

Well, does she have a name?

Don't know that, either.

But I suspect Mrs. Hayes might.

And now I am going to hand it off to Garrett.

What else you got? I'm starving.

Last item.

I spoke to Istanbul.

You did? And I told them

you were very excited to meet with Chief Nadir

during your swing through.

You agreed to a sit.

And that top on your list

was visiting their jails, with retinue

and press in tow,

to show the world just how much

they'd improved on human rights.

And the upshot was?

They'd get back to us.

As in, don't hold your breath?

Even in translation.

That's very good.

I don't think I could've winged it any better.

You were gonna wing it?

Yeah. GORMLEY Yeah.

He was all set to when the...

When the what?

Nothing. It was nothing.

It doesn't sound like nothing.

Something came up.

So it was something.

Shrugs.

It was just an exercise.

Like, a fire drill.

Like a fire drill, or a fire drill?

Like.

Is that why none of you were here when I came by?

Yeah, probably.

So where'd you guys go?

Police business.

Police?

Yes.

And what kind of business am I in?

Mattresses and bedding?

That's all I can tell you right now.

Copy that.

I'm starving.

I'm not.

Excuse me.

This is the first time

getting to eat breakfast together in a long time.

Dinner. Right, forgot.

And thank you for meeting me before going to sleep.

Any idea how much longer you'll be working midnights?

Till the bad guys start keeping banker hours.

So, Winston and Morales came by the 12th yesterday

to pick up the rest of their stuff.

MmThey said the 2-9

is pretty hardcore.

Yeah, busiest house in the city. They knew that coming in.

Well, yeah, but I think

they were a little surprised, you know?

The attitude of some of the cops there?

They'll get their sea legs.

You know, it takes a while to get used to a new place.

It's even tougher for a new place

to adjust to a new boss, I bet.

Is there something on your mind, Eddie?

No.

Can you say that again?

I swear, it's like dating a human lie detector.

Worse. You're engaged to a human lie detector. It is not funny.

Why don't you just tell me what's really on your mind?

It's nothing.

That's why you're so reluctant to discuss it?

Okay, fine. The other day I came by to see you

and there were some cops hanging out front,

and they were talking smack about you.

What are their names and shield numbers?

I don't know, but if I saw them, I could pick them out.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Eddie, of all the years that we rode together,

did you and I ever bitch about our sergeant?

Well, yeah, but that's different.

Everyone hates their boss.

And I'm a boss now, something you got to get used to.

But I-I don't understand why he's not here,

'cause you told... why isn't he here with you?

'Cause you said that he missed me.

Yeah. He told you that...

he told you that he forgives me.

Yes.

I'm sure he's gonna visit you soon.

But in the meantime,

we need you to help us with something, okay?

He does this, he does this.

You know, he, he'll s-say one thing,

and then he does the other,

and I'm somehow the crazy one.

Clara, we want to show you something.

Like, he'll-he'll tell me

to do something, and I'll do it.

I'll do it, and then he'll tell me that I didn't do it.

Okay, Clara... Or I'll talk to someone,

Clara. And I'll tell him something, and then he'll insist

that I never told him, and I did, I did.

Clara.

I need you to focus in right now. Okay?

Yeah.

Can you do that?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

What is it?

Do you know this woman?

Um...

Yes. This is Dr. McCabe.

Dr. McCabe. Okay.

Does your husband know Dr. McCabe, also?

We both do. She's our couples therapist.

Couples...

therapist.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Dr. McCabe's building is over here.

You'll see. What are you doing in the street?

I'm looking for this.

Right here.

"Police, please don't ticket."

Every doorman in the city makes this play.

Okay, but why?

Excuse me. Officer.

I'm right here. DANNY Yeah, it's Detective.

And the sign says no standing any time.

I know, Detective, and I'm sorry.

The next garage is six blocks away

and a hundred dollars a day.

Yeah, well, that's not our problem.

Call for a tow, please? No.

No, no, please.

Tell you what, we help you, you help us.

Okay. Do you know this woman,

Dr. McCabe? Yeah, I know her.

That's Camille McCabe, 3C.

But doctor? She ain't no doctor.

She doesn't run a couples therapy business

out of her apartment?

I don't know what you're talking about with that.

She's a professor, or something. No couples therapist.

Have a good day.

All right, all right.

It's very nice of you guys, but it was no big deal.

No, it was good work, Anthony.

Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

I'll see you guys in a bit?

Great work, Anthony.

Hey, I just wanted to let you know

we got an indictment on the Costello robbery case.

Do you really think there's anything

that happens in this office that you know about before me?

Right, of course, I just wanted to say thanks.

No, what you were here hoping was that I would say thanks,

which is not gonna happen,

so you can be on your merry way.

I don't get it. We got a good indictment.

What are you so pissed about?

You made me look like an idiot in front of everyone.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, you did that all on your own.

You are already in the doghouse.

You really want to end up in the pound?

Look, y-you came into my office a-all hot,

hanging up on people, screaming and yelling.

You disobeyed a direct order.

I didn't disobey, I just came upon new information.

And then you proceeded to move on it

without clearing it with me or this office.

You don't get to do that.

Things were moving a hundred miles an hour.

I didn't have time.

I honestly didn't even think about it.

Well, maybe you should have.

Come on, Erin, you and I have done this kind of thing

a thousand times together.

It's different now.

Well, why?

'Cause you're the boss? Yeah.

That's right.

You let me make an ass of myself in front of the entire staff.

You wouldn't let me get a word in.

And-and,

to be honest, I didn't even see them all there.

Anthony, you have to work with them.

I need to lead them.

I can't do that

without their respect, which I lost, thanks to you.

Still don't understand how you got the college

to just give you her computer.

My chiseled good looks.

My powers of hypnotic persuasion.

Okay. When I told the dean that Camille McCabe

was the subject of a police investigation,

he said the computer didn't belong to her,

it belonged to the state of New York.

So he gave it to me.

I guess the dean doesn't want to run afoul

of that sweet state funding.

Sounds right to me.

Anything yet?

No real red flags, but... well, this is a little weird.

What is?

You ever see that old movie Gaslight?

Gasno.

Well, she has.

Quite a bit, it seems.

You see all these websites? DANNY

Each of them is either

a message board about the movie or a fan blog.

Some of them are even psychiatric papers

written about the dynamic.

Okay, well, what the hell is it?

Well, in the movie,

the husband basically drives the wife insane.

It's like psychological warfare.

And over time, he slowly convinces her

that everything she thinks is wrong or her imagination.

That's what you think this is,

with the Hayes couple, gaslighting?

Well, it sounds a lot like what she was saying to us

the other day, right?

It sounds like nonsense. Come on.

Listen to my hunch. I went with yours.

What?

I think both our hunches might be right.

You realize this isn't Augusta, right?

Okay!

That was amazing.

How'd you do that?

Do what?

So you want to tell me why we're back here?

Why are you always so suspicious?

Occupational hazard.

I just thought it'd be fun.

So the fact that I proposed to you here is just a coincidence?

I want to transfer to the 2-9.

What?

Absolutely not.

But it was your idea.

Was, and then you turned it down.

Well, I'm turning it up.

The answer is no. Why?

Because you think the cops at the 2-9 don't like me,

you think I have a public relations problem

and you want to come over and be my personal DCPI.

That is not true.

Okay, fine, it's a little true.

It started out that way, but that's not the real reason why.

What are you...

Fine.

Fine. Here's the real reason.

Our vows.

Yeah. I don't want them to just mean something

on our wedding day.

I want them to mean something today

and tomorrow and every day after that.

I will always have your back.

If you fall behind, I'll wait up.

I'll earn your respect, and pay you respect, every day we have.

I'll be your scout, your night watchman, your cavalry.

Your medic, your chaplain in our army of two.

No retreat. No surrender. No surrender.

You can count on me.

You can count on me.

And your two cents?

Totally your call.

I know that, but I am asking for your input.

Whatever you think is best.

Yes, and the way I make that determination

is a process that includes me

soliciting your opinion.

Why would my opinion matter? It's police business.

And there it is.

Now, when you're right, you're right.

And you're right, I am not a cop.

Cut it out. I am confident that I could advise you on certain matters.

It's an office, not a sandbox. That pertain to police business,

caused by the hidebound big blue wall

that police business is conducted behind...

Garrett, please cut it out... the jams that lack

of transparency causes, but I am not a cop,

so I recuse myself on matters

requiring that expertise.

Okay. We'll do it the hard way.

Dr. McCabe?

Dr. McCabe.

Detectives Reagan and Baez.

Yes?

You are Dr. McCabe, right?

Camille McCabe, PhD.

So not.

Dr. Camille McCabe, couples therapist, right?

Can I help you detectives with something?

Yeah, actually, you can.

How long have you known Richard Hayes?

Who?

The guy with his tongue down your throat.

I don't know.

A year?

And how long have you and Richard Hayes

been gaslighting Mrs. Hayes?

E

We had been seeing each other

for about a year when we first discussed it.

Discuss your plan to gaslight Richard's wife Clara.

Richard tried

to leave her many times. She would simply refuse.

And that's why you decided to drive her mad?

It doesn't make you insane, it just confuses you.

Whose idea was it?

I was doing some research on the topic

for one of my lectures, and it caught Richard's eye.

He asked me to drill down on it.

And you did.

And when that didn't work,

you decided to double down, and take on the role

of a phony couples therapist for Richard and Clara?

Richard insisted she was close to breaking.

He just thought she needed a little nudge.

"Nudge" being drugging her with chloroform

and staging an attempted murder.

Hey, that was all Richard.

I had nothing to do with that.

When I found out the reason that Richard wanted me

to research the effects of chloroform,

I told him he was crazy.

I said I wanted nothing to do with it.

But you didn't call the police.

No.

But I should have.

I absolutely should have.

Would you be willing to testify in court

to all of this?

Absolutely. A hundred percent.

Richard should pay for what he did.

Absolutely.

A hundred percent.

Richard should pay for what he did.

This is garbage. Complete and utter nonsense.

This was all her idea.

He said, she said. DANNY Yep.

And she said first, so guess what?

She's the grand prize winner.

Well, she's lying.

It was her idea to fake the shooting.

Her idea to make it look like

Clara shot me. I'm sure it was.

I'm not lying. This was all her plan.

She was there, too.

Say again. It's true.

She was in the kitchen, hiding.

She's the one that slipped chloroform into her drink.

Hell, she's the one who actually shot me

after Clara passed out.

Sounds like you're throwing a little bit of a Hail Mary,

don't you think, Richard?

It's the God's honest truth.

He said, she said. Yeah.

Only matters what you can prove. Come on.

Come on, get up. Wait, wait, wait.

I can prove it. I can.

How you gonna do that, Richard?

You gonna gaslight us, too? No, no, no.

I've got a nanny cam in the living room.

I put it there to keep an eye on Clara when I wasn't home.

Camille didn't know about it, but...

it had to have recorded everything.

The shooting will be on there.

Right.

See?

Told ya.

Well, you guys are crazy, but this is good news.

Yeah? Yeah.

Does this get me off? It gets your wife off.

And puts you and your girlfriend away

for a very long time.

Come on, get up. Get up!

Officers, fall in for roll call.

Officer Cooper. Here, sir.

2-9 Frank. Don't forget to fill up this time.

Officer Tedesco.Here.

Patrol post 15.

Officer Janko. Present, sir.

Patrol post 11.

Yes, sir.

And welcome to the 2-9.

Officer Goldman... Yes, sir.

Patrol post 9...

Hey, Erin, I'm so sorry.

No, it's me.

It's just, it's this job. I should have...

Nonsense. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

And I should have listened.

What do you say we bury the hatchet

in a couple of martinis?

Straight up with a twist? Let's do it.

Good night.

Bye.

Deputy Commissioner Moore, come with us, please.

What the hell?!

Just come with us, sir. It's okay.

Come with us, right now, let's go.

12 minutes and four seconds from pickup.

Well done.

That'll be all, Inspector,

and thank you.

Where am I?

Bravo Bunker.

This place was created in the wake of 911.

Why am I here?

We've been asking ourselves the same thing.

Yeah, boss.

I am getting to that.

Look, I was assuming that all three of you

would be in my office at the same time.

You were delayed, so you were deleted from the drill.

Yeah, I felt pretty deleted.

I... You made that very clear.

But there wasn't an option.

No one talks of this place outside of this place.

This facility was designed for only the most

indispensable men and women of the NYPD.

I have come to realize that title and rank

are not the only things that go into "indispensable."

You are.

You are.

You are.

I will now show you your bunks

and the kitchen

while you say a prayer

that we never have to use them.

In the name of the Father,

the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Our Father, full of grace who arts in heaven,

forgive us our daily bread, and blessed is the fruit

of those who trespass against us...

Okay, Eddie, Eddie,

I have to stop you there.

Seriously, what was that?

I was saying grace.

I have no idea what you were just saying.

Yeah, but it definitely wasn't grace.

It's okay, babe,

I think you just got a little confused.

I think you were saying the Our Father...

With a little Hail Mary thrown in there.

And then she circled back to the Our Father again.Right...

And then it was just kind of like a super weird mash-up.

It made no sense.

It's okay, babe. They're just busting chops.

Yeah, it's... I just... I was just, I don't know,

I was just trying to fit in. I...

I don't know why you guys have to all be so mean.

Eddie, they were...

You just sat there. You let them.

Really, guys?

Jamie...

Well... happy?

Who knew she was so sensitive?

Who knew we were so insensitive?

I guess we're just used to each other.

I started it. I guess I'll go and apologize.

Thanks, guys, I really appreciate the warm welcome.

What's next, noogies?

She leave? No.

She's just getting a grip.

Eddie, I-I started it. It was wrong.

It was just wrong.

Yeah, I think it was just our family's

poor attempt at humor. We're-We're sorry, Eddie.

Lame of us to go for the easy joke.

Even lamer of us

to make fun of the effort you put in.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say, except...

Wow, you guys are really easy.

- What? - What a bunch of suckers.

A few crocodile tears

and you're-and you're just groveling to me.

My God.

Okay, all right, so this is all a big joke.

Payback is a bitch.

So you were in on it?

Well, after last week's initiation,

I told him I wanted to give you guys

a taste of your own medicine.

So we cooked this up together.

Yeah, but our family's tradition

is to gang up on the new spouse. That's right.

Not the other way around.

Well, now we got a new family tradition.

Well done.

Bravo.

Well played. You did good.

Pass the potatoes.

Thank you.

It was just so funny.

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