All language subtitles for the.simpsons.s33e15.1080p.web.h264-cakes_Track03

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:04,670 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:05,898 --> 00:00:08,081 (humming a tune) 3 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,250 -(indistinct chatter) -Huh? 4 00:00:10,402 --> 00:00:11,902 So dope. 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,737 Slammin' kicks. 6 00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:15,663 Is that kid wearing Slipremes? 7 00:00:15,758 --> 00:00:18,100 He totally is. 8 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,095 These are my first tie-shoes. 9 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:24,189 You're wearing the new Slipreme Caliphates? 10 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:27,342 How did a chum-wad like you get a pair? 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,419 My daddy took my cat to the cat doctor, 12 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:30,937 and when Daddy came home, 13 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,032 my cat had turned into these shoes. 14 00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,592 So Ralph got weird sneakers-- who cares? 15 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,778 Uh, no one... 16 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:39,763 except everyone. 17 00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,615 Those aren't just sneakers. 18 00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:43,100 They're Slipremes. 19 00:00:43,227 --> 00:00:45,693 That's Orion Hughes' skatewear company. 20 00:00:45,788 --> 00:00:48,272 He's huge on TikTok. 21 00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,382 Got to say, today was crazy. 22 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,109 You all know my dad, 23 00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:54,536 international superstar Darius Hughes. 24 00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:56,780 Well, I just laid down the hook for his new movie, 25 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:59,466 Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop. 26 00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,043 (laughs) ♪ One cop that you just can't stop ♪ 27 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,289 ♪ 'Cause he's two cops-- one cop and a copy of a cop ♪ 28 00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:08,141 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 29 00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:10,310 And my skatewear brand, Slipreme, 30 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,145 is about to drop a new shoe, 31 00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,406 the sequel to the Caliphate One. 32 00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,075 The Caliphate Two. 33 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:18,969 Limited release-- available only this Friday. 34 00:01:18,987 --> 00:01:20,412 (laughs) And Saturday, 35 00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:23,064 we explode the pop-up factory that makes them. 36 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:26,585 ALL (chanting): Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go! 37 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,403 Go! Go! Go, popcorn! 38 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,756 -Go! Go! Go, popcorn! -(gasps) 39 00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:32,907 BOTH: No! No! No kernels! 40 00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,819 No! No! No kernels! 41 00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:37,321 Hey, that's my favorite show. 42 00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,414 You guys have to buy me these sneakers. 43 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,325 They're all anyone cares about at school. 44 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:43,268 And if I don't have them, I'm nobody. 45 00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:45,345 Well, you're somebody in this house. 46 00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:47,664 Come on, don't lie to the boy. 47 00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:49,424 I've never wanted a piece of clothing before 48 00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:51,092 in my entire life. 49 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,594 Dad, with this one act, 50 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,781 you can erase ten years of second-rate parenting. 51 00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,341 I'd think about that, Homie. 52 00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:58,967 It's a pretty good offer. 53 00:01:58,969 --> 00:02:00,193 Mm? 54 00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:03,271 You must really want those pants 55 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,939 or videogame. 56 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:08,127 Son, your father will deliver. 57 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,948 Of course Orion Hughes' new store would be 58 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,860 in Springfield's former packing peanuts district. 59 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,879 This street is so cool. 60 00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:21,214 art galleries, beard-only barbershops, 61 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,216 and a weird store that only sells 62 00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:25,477 a single action figure. 63 00:02:25,629 --> 00:02:27,271 How do they survive? 64 00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:30,707 Hmm? 65 00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:32,876 Oh, look at this line. 66 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:34,653 Can't even see those guys. 67 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,898 I'm gonna be stuck here all day with the nose ring brigade. 68 00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:41,943 In that case, I'm gonna check out this Hasidic surfwear shop. 69 00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,906 Okay, Homer, you can do this-- you waited in line overnight 70 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,024 for Krusty's new fried chicken sandwich. 71 00:02:48,076 --> 00:02:51,170 And it was the best decision of your life. 72 00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:54,173 I will get Bart those shoes. 73 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,992 Whoa! 74 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:00,086 (gasps) Whoa! 75 00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:02,830 Dad, you got 'em. 76 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,258 I waited through rain, through sun, 77 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,168 through the death of my phone battery 78 00:03:07,262 --> 00:03:09,837 from watching super-cuts of boating accident videos, 79 00:03:09,932 --> 00:03:13,358 all to see the joy on your face. 80 00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:16,678 I love you, Dad. I finally love you. 81 00:03:16,772 --> 00:03:18,088 And bought love 82 00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:21,182 is the best kind of love. 83 00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:22,534 -JIMBO: Wow! -NELSON: I'm so pumped! 84 00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:23,702 DOLPH: I'm also pumped! 85 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:25,946 Here come the sneakers! 86 00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,948 KID: Shh, shh. 87 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,934 ALL: Whoa! (hushed clamoring) 88 00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,527 (both screaming) 89 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,714 Whoa, I got to see those babies in action. 90 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,941 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,135 (grunts) Hmm? 92 00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:44,056 (grunts) 93 00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:46,116 (all gasp) 94 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:48,042 These shoes are made from... 95 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,897 used Band-Aids and North Korean newspapers? 96 00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,881 My dad waited in line all day for these shoes, 97 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,292 and they're crap. 98 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:58,144 I'm gonna go to that store and get his money back. 99 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,313 (gasps) "Dear Leader Announces 100 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,632 Wheat Quotas Exceeded Yet Again." 101 00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:04,660 (all cheering) 102 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,413 (snoring) 103 00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:09,806 (phone chimes) 104 00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:11,566 Ooh, a text. 105 00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:13,543 (imitates powering down) 106 00:04:14,646 --> 00:04:16,129 (Bart reading) 107 00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:18,665 Returning the shoes? 108 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,575 But then he'll find out... 109 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,169 what really happened. 110 00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:25,913 So hot, no shade. 111 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,266 Maybe this guy will let me sit 112 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,385 under his flat-brimmed baseball hat? 113 00:04:30,496 --> 00:04:32,420 Mm... Mm. 114 00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:33,755 Homer J. Simpsons. 115 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,167 The line-standing legend himself. 116 00:04:37,185 --> 00:04:39,278 Hey! Mike Wegman! 117 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,671 How's it clangin'? Where's your food truck? 118 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,949 Somebody pushed it off a bridge, but don't worry, 119 00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:46,860 I had a good reason, and now I got an even better business. 120 00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:48,936 Selling those limited-edition sneakers. 121 00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:50,514 You want a pair? 122 00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:52,124 Oh, my God, my kid's begging for these. 123 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:53,625 How much do I owe you? 124 00:04:53,852 --> 00:04:55,519 You owe me? 125 00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:58,038 How much do the pilgrims owe the Statue of Liberty? 126 00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,281 How much does hot dog owe a mustard? 127 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,801 For you, these are on the house. 128 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,636 Oh, thank you so much. 129 00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:07,789 Don't worry about it, these aren't real Slipremes anyway. 130 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,290 What? They're fake? 131 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,126 Oh, but I promised my son the real ones. 132 00:05:12,204 --> 00:05:14,387 Who, Bart, huh? That bed-wetting nobody? 133 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:16,815 He won't be able to tell the difference. 134 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:19,042 Kids today aren't like you and me. 135 00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,636 They're dumb because of phones or whatever. 136 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:25,657 Hmm, and I do like getting away with things. 137 00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,233 That's winner talk there. 138 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,053 Hey, which of you freak shows wants to do business? 139 00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,289 I like your dumb hat. 140 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,459 (humming a tune) 141 00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:37,652 (grunts) 142 00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:39,412 Mm? Mmm! 143 00:05:39,565 --> 00:05:42,082 I got to stop Bart from returning those fake sneakers. 144 00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,917 "No no no no no!" 145 00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:46,511 -(phone chimes) -Thanks, Dad, it is on. 146 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,213 Bart Simpson here, about to clown some fools 147 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,590 who sold me some crappy sneakers. 148 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,518 These shoes are trash. I want my money back. 149 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:56,388 Uh, real Caliphate Twos aren't made from garbage. 150 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,749 They're vegan leather made from upcycled recycling bins. 151 00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:01,509 BART: Wait, what? 152 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,086 These are fakes. 153 00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,922 You're trying to return bootleg sneakers. 154 00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:08,592 You can't record me-- I'm recording you. 155 00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,184 What up, Shauna Nation? 156 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,262 As always, I'm Shauna. 157 00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:15,115 (scoffs) Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off. 158 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:18,602 Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow. 159 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:19,936 They're not fake. 160 00:06:19,955 --> 00:06:22,381 (laughing) 161 00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:25,609 My Dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money. 162 00:06:25,777 --> 00:06:28,035 And Homer Simpson would never lie to his son 163 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:30,722 just to get out of standing in li... (gasps) 164 00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:33,116 Oh, my God, he bought me fake shoes. 165 00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:34,801 Bart, don't return the shoes! 166 00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:35,802 This is just a dream. 167 00:06:35,954 --> 00:06:37,787 -Wake up, Bart. Wake up. -(grunts) 168 00:06:37,806 --> 00:06:39,380 How could you? 169 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,715 I will never be more embarrassed 170 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,068 than I am right now. 171 00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:44,978 (all gasp) 172 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,647 We have underpants. 173 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,391 You've ruined me! 174 00:06:50,485 --> 00:06:52,035 ALL: Please like and subscribe. 175 00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:59,084 Stupid Homer. Turned me into a GIF. 176 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:02,087 Oh, man. 177 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:05,982 You're even a dance. It's called 178 00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,759 the "Pants Kid Shimmy." 179 00:07:07,911 --> 00:07:09,928 It's everywhere! 180 00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:12,005 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 181 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,658 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 182 00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:16,935 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 183 00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:18,753 ♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪ 184 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,014 So fun! (laughs) 185 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,257 Son, I got you this apology card. 186 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:25,669 The duck, you know, on the front, he thinks 187 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:28,930 what I did was "quackers," and maybe he's right. 188 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:30,840 Don't ever talk to me again! 189 00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,525 What was I thinking, trusting you to help me look cool? 190 00:07:32,678 --> 00:07:34,936 You're the least cool person who ever lived. 191 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,863 (gasps) But that includes Urkel. 192 00:07:37,015 --> 00:07:39,015 You're bald. You own a bowling ball. 193 00:07:39,108 --> 00:07:41,017 You own truck nuts but no truck. 194 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:43,611 You've seen Tim Allen's standup multiple times. 195 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,130 You still have a CD tower. 196 00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:46,614 And each one your three kids 197 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,133 is embarrassed by you in a different way. 198 00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:49,968 -(Homer whimpers) -Mm. 199 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,953 You were born uncool 200 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,880 and every day for four decades, 201 00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:56,141 you've gotten less cool. 202 00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,386 I know I'm not exactly Stefan Urquelle, 203 00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:03,482 but didn't you ever think your old man was a little cool? 204 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:06,067 Never. Not one bit. 205 00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,636 (whimpers, sniffles) 206 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,304 (doorbell rings) 207 00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:13,641 I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Bart Simpson. 208 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,901 Orion Hughes! 209 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,554 I found your critically-maligned book of poetry 210 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,831 to be weirdly moving. 211 00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:23,076 Yeah, I thought poetry would be hard, but it wasn't. 212 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,228 I know you. You're the voice 213 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,005 of the urban squid from the live-action 214 00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:28,823 Finding Nemo. 215 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,824 (gasps) 216 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,843 Bart, I wanted to apologize 217 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,828 for the way my employees shamed you. 218 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,162 You heard about that? 219 00:08:35,331 --> 00:08:37,682 -(humming a tune) -Ooh, I saw that dance 220 00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:40,185 on Ellen today. 221 00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:41,353 (moans) 222 00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:43,079 You didn't know the shoes were fake. 223 00:08:43,248 --> 00:08:44,856 To make up for your global humiliation, 224 00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:47,359 I brought your family some free Slipreme skatewear. 225 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,115 Whoa, new skateboards! 226 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,284 (grunts) 227 00:08:57,429 --> 00:08:59,612 Grab a board, show me what you got. 228 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,540 Uh, I'd love to, of course. 229 00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:04,450 But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim. 230 00:09:04,603 --> 00:09:08,195 I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister. 231 00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,956 Come on, just ollie off the curb. 232 00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:12,033 Ollie? Oh, yeah, that's the move 233 00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,885 where you throw it, right? 234 00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:15,779 -(grunting): Ollie! -(gasps) 235 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:19,799 You own a skatewear company and you don't know how to skate? 236 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,951 (whimpers) 237 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,395 Please don't tell anyone. 238 00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:25,230 Hey, dude, no worries. 239 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,307 You know what? I can teach you to skate. 240 00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,401 But what if I'm not instantly amazing at it? 241 00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,403 I've heard that can happen. 242 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,647 Okay, feet on the board, bend your knees, 243 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,074 find your center... 244 00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:38,318 -(grunts) See? You're doing it! -(exclaiming) 245 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,245 I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic. 246 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,563 No one's ever been this real. 247 00:09:42,657 --> 00:09:44,641 Don't fall down! 248 00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,251 What's "falling down"? 249 00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:47,627 (grunts) 250 00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,924 That's-that's my blood. 251 00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,742 I've never seen it before. 252 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,761 So cool. Let's go again. 253 00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,171 (both exclaim) 254 00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:02,083 Can you pass the guacamole, #GuacAttack? 255 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:03,935 #NewChipsOnTheGuac? 256 00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,329 You're hashtagging a lot lately. 257 00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:08,848 So Bart called you uncool, big deal. 258 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,925 Chasing after coolness is futile, 259 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,760 because the definition is both arbitrary 260 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,671 and constantly changing. 261 00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:16,740 Mm, still want to be it. 262 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,268 With hard shell tacos, you've got to bite them 263 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,529 from the bottom, like this. 264 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,439 (grunts) 265 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:26,941 Why?! 266 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,777 Why do I keep buying hard shells? 267 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,855 I hate them! 268 00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:33,857 Uh, I'm going to Moe's. 269 00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:36,134 At least put on a clean shirt. 270 00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,637 Hmm. Mm. 271 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,221 Mm. Hmm. 272 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:45,201 Homer. 273 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:46,870 Check it out-- I'm selling 274 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:48,629 premium Wagyu-style steaks. 275 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,482 The 72-month subscription plan-- 276 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:53,042 it comes with a genuine landline phone. 277 00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:55,712 I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying. 278 00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:57,714 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 279 00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:59,716 That's a Slipreme hoodie. 280 00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:03,078 And that ain't even a knock-off like these donkey steaks. 281 00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:05,238 I got to post this. 282 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:08,149 Whoa, someone posted a picture of me, 283 00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,727 and it it's not for falling down an escalator 284 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,653 or yelling at a parking meter. 285 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,172 Which means I must be... 286 00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:17,158 Cool. Yes, you are now cool. 287 00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:19,252 HOMER: I've been liked. 288 00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:21,237 Someone enjoyed looking at me. 289 00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,182 Finally, I know how it feels to be stylish. 290 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:26,075 To be loved for my appearance 291 00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:28,169 instead of judged for my actions. 292 00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,671 (gasps) This is why people 293 00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:32,524 own more than one outfit. 294 00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:35,360 Thank you, Mike Wegman! 295 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,814 ORION: 540 flip straight onto your ear. 296 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,182 Oh. 297 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,349 Legendary! 298 00:11:42,444 --> 00:11:44,351 (slurring): Am I still slurring my's words? 299 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,538 Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable. 300 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,023 Having a movie star dad, I don't really get 301 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,542 to hang out with regular kids. 302 00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:52,435 With you I can relax, you know, without having 303 00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,771 to redefine our generation's notion of relaxation. 304 00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,363 I guess I envy you. 305 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,958 Isn't that something rich people say to poor people 306 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,611 so that they feel less guilty about being rich? 307 00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:04,647 Yes, but for the first time, I mean it. 308 00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:06,966 You helped me bleed. Maybe I can help you. 309 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,394 What if we design a new sneaker together? 310 00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,396 A sneaker that all my friends will buy? 311 00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:14,307 No, a sneaker that all your friends will want to buy, 312 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,460 but can't, because we won't make enough of them. 313 00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,629 (gasps) That's even better. 314 00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:21,406 Huh? 315 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,225 What the hell are you wearing? 316 00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:27,078 I know what it is-- a hobo was murdered at a rave, 317 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:30,156 and Homer's going undercover to find the killer. 318 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,492 Nah, nah, nah, he drove a motorcycle 319 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,754 through the clothesline of a bi-curious farmer. 320 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:38,239 (laughs) I was once like you. 321 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,908 Wearing clothes I bought at the gas station 322 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,594 or found at the beach. 323 00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:45,597 But I've learned something-- when you wear crazy clothes 324 00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:48,749 you don't understand, you're not you anymore. 325 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,918 You're someone better. 326 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,771 Oh, my God. 327 00:12:52,998 --> 00:12:55,064 I'm beautiful. 328 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,856 Hey. 329 00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:06,692 Well, look at me-- I'm a real Hep Cat. 330 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:10,622 And not just because I got Hep C, A and T. 331 00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:12,606 Which, I-I do got those. 332 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:16,352 We must tell all middle-aged men that they need not grow old. 333 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:19,113 Where do the graying masses gather to worship? 334 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,448 ♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪ 335 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,135 ♪ To get a verse from me, you gotta be initiated ♪ 336 00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:27,547 ♪ To get a purse from me, she gotta be sophisticated ♪ 337 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:30,550 ♪ Purchase a whip from me and never miss a single payment ♪ 338 00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:33,478 ♪ You wanna be the hottest but that can get complicated. ♪ 339 00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:35,462 Bart, together we'll design a sneaker 340 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,391 that'll change sneaker culture forever. 341 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,318 Which, in this business, is one week. 342 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,112 ♪ ♪ 343 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,752 The Bartman One. 344 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:09,422 My life has mattered. 345 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,408 Yeah, and it comes with a sticker in the box. 346 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:14,501 The release party is Saturday night. 347 00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,354 It's gonna be perfect. 348 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,505 The right music, the right influencers, 349 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,525 and every single person there will be young, 350 00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:22,509 cool and beautiful. 351 00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:25,271 Excuse me, do you have this in a large? 352 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,181 You're buying that for yourself? 353 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,516 But old people don't know about my clothes. 354 00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,277 Unless... 355 00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:32,945 Oh, no. 356 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,097 They're here. 357 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,948 The middle-aged. 358 00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:37,691 The uncool! 359 00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:40,044 (both screaming) 360 00:14:45,777 --> 00:14:47,051 This is a nightmare. 361 00:14:47,278 --> 00:14:49,870 My brand's been discovered by dads. 362 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,448 I'm wearing this to da club. 363 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,117 Da bridge club. 364 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,952 It's like Ed Hardy all over again. 365 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:58,121 Who the heck is Ed Hardy? 366 00:14:58,139 --> 00:15:01,215 ORION: Ed Hardy was a California tattoo artist 367 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,309 whose unique designs were the epitome of cool. 368 00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:04,903 But then, one terrible day, 369 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,630 a newly-divorced dad wanted to seem younger 370 00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:08,907 on his dating profile. 371 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,742 He bought a sleeveless tee in XXL 372 00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:12,410 and then posted the picture. 373 00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:14,579 Young people saw old people wearing the brand, 374 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,989 and weeks later, a $700 million empire 375 00:15:17,142 --> 00:15:18,625 was sold for scrap. 376 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,902 Stupid old losers. 377 00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:24,330 Slipreme's gonna die. What do I do?! 378 00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:26,407 I don't know, but we can think of something. 379 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,335 We're two of the coolest kids in the world, right? 380 00:15:29,487 --> 00:15:31,821 So cool. You've even got your own sneaker. 381 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,172 That's cool, isn't it? 382 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,099 I don't even know anymore. 383 00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:37,268 Hey, Bart, thank your old man 384 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:40,271 for introducing me to the look of the street. 385 00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:43,975 Wait, Homer's the reason you're all wearing these clothes? 386 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:45,759 You know it. 387 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,870 If my dad started this, 388 00:15:47,872 --> 00:15:49,505 maybe he can stop it. 389 00:15:49,524 --> 00:15:52,024 Yes, can I pay for this paisley tracksuit 390 00:15:52,177 --> 00:15:54,243 -with airline miles? -(grunts) 391 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,623 Ooh. Ee. Ooh. 392 00:15:58,774 --> 00:16:00,941 Drop the selfie stick now. 393 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,710 What about my Lookbook? 394 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,612 Stop dressing your zombie friends up 395 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,023 in the clothes of the living. 396 00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,467 Never! Before I discovered streetwear, 397 00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:11,970 people-- like my son-- 398 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:14,547 treated me like a dried-up old husk. 399 00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:17,141 Well, you know what I am now? A wet husk. 400 00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:20,144 Full of juicy corn. Mmm, corn, Bart. 401 00:16:20,371 --> 00:16:23,648 You hear me? Mmm, corn. 402 00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:25,984 Orion and I made something amazing together, 403 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,819 and you're ruining it. 404 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,821 (laughs) Too bad. 405 00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:33,282 'Cause we're all going to your sneaker release party. 406 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,219 Just because they RSVP'd, 407 00:16:36,387 --> 00:16:38,479 doesn't mean they're actually coming. 408 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,573 Wrong. My generation 409 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,742 shows up to things. 410 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,210 (gasps) 411 00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:50,341 This is horrible. My Dad told all his loser friends 412 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,010 about this party. 413 00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:54,920 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 414 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,922 Aah! It's my dad. 415 00:16:57,075 --> 00:16:58,758 Act like everything's fine. 416 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,834 Son, I've never seen your aura 417 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,928 looking less indigo. Are you okay? 418 00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:05,023 Nothing-nothing's wrong. I'm crushing it. 419 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,008 I got this on lock. On lock. 420 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,028 Your words have convinced me. 421 00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:12,088 The washed-up dads are gonna be here soon. 422 00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:14,273 I read about it in The Old-Timers Gazette: 423 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,925 Facebook. 424 00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,184 I can't handle this. 425 00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:19,779 And my therapist is pitching his sitcom today. 426 00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:22,290 Which I'm producing. (whimpering) 427 00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:26,044 You said if I ever needed you, you'd come. 428 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,938 No matter what. This is that call. 429 00:17:29,031 --> 00:17:32,699 Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you some mini carrots and hummus? 430 00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,427 Yes. 431 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,631 Listen up, people. 432 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,041 For the first time in your horrible lives, 433 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,895 you are not the lamest losers in the world. 434 00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:45,971 (cheering, clamoring) 435 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,382 So if any young person asks you what you do, 436 00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:52,236 say, "Virtual marketing for a CBD massage oil startup." 437 00:17:52,463 --> 00:17:55,573 Now everyone take two precautionary Advil 438 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,658 and let's live forever! 439 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,227 Homer, stop it! 440 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,306 Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak. 441 00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:05,975 Homer, this isn't who you are. 442 00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:08,978 You're right-- it's better than who I am. 443 00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:11,738 This is the man I married. 444 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,983 You call all deli meats baloney. 445 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,909 You carry clippers on your key chain 446 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,745 so you can cut your nails in line at the post office. 447 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,582 You spent your stimulus check on funny bumper stickers 448 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,102 about what you spent your stimulus check on. 449 00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:26,178 And since the day I first saw you 450 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,272 moonwalk out of an Arby's, 451 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,942 you've been comfortable in your own skin. 452 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:33,194 Until now. 453 00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,948 (gasps) I look... 454 00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:39,008 ridiculous! 455 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:41,619 I shouldn't be at a sneaker release party. 456 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:42,936 I should be at home. 457 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,440 Making microwave popcorn. 458 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:49,109 My favorite show. 459 00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:51,445 We don't belong here. 460 00:18:51,539 --> 00:18:53,038 Men our age 461 00:18:53,191 --> 00:18:55,550 belong in here. 462 00:18:56,878 --> 00:18:59,362 The Museum of Aviation History. 463 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,305 (excited chatter, laughing) 464 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,049 LENNY: Oh. 465 00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:06,644 The cross section of a real B-52. 466 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:10,631 An IMAX movie about the golden age of ballooning. 467 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:14,377 Audio tour by Gary Sinise. 468 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:17,304 It worked. They took the dad-bait. 469 00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:18,881 (grunting) 470 00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,158 Dad. 471 00:19:20,385 --> 00:19:23,719 You did something no old person is remotely capable of. 472 00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,738 You changed your mind. 473 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,907 I'm sorry I almost ruined everything 474 00:19:28,059 --> 00:19:29,834 for you and your friend. 475 00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:32,077 I have no business wearing skatewear. 476 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,397 I don't even like to ice skate. 477 00:19:34,415 --> 00:19:36,323 (grunts) Oh. 478 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,010 I never got a pair of my own shoes, and now they're sold out. 479 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:42,588 Yo, style freaks. I got counterfeit Bart Ones. 480 00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:44,331 Genuine knockoffs. 481 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,409 Your dumb friends can't tell the difference 482 00:19:46,427 --> 00:19:48,644 unless you wear 'em or you look at 'em close. 483 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:52,398 (grunts) 484 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,937 Thanks, Dad. Sometimes you are a little bit cool. 485 00:19:58,089 --> 00:20:00,740 Aw. Buy you a chicken sandwich? 486 00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:22,202 Dad, tonight was a close call. 487 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,612 This party was almost not a cultural gamechanger. 488 00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:25,948 I hope you're not disappointed in me. 489 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,725 Oh, you can never let me down, 490 00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:29,952 because I know exactly how you feel. 491 00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:31,637 Because you're me. 492 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,439 No, Dad. I'm not you. 493 00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,048 And I'll never be you. 494 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,384 (chuckles) You're not hearing what I'm saying. 495 00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:38,736 You're me. 496 00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:41,197 A clone of me. Like this 497 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,409 You were created on the set of Duplicate Cop One, 498 00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:48,329 which we filmed in a real cloning lab. 499 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,658 I knew I could never love a child 500 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,312 as much as I love myself, so I made another me: 501 00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,313 you. 502 00:20:57,331 --> 00:21:00,165 But how... But I... But... What? 503 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,501 Didn't you ever wonder why you don't have a mother? 504 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:05,579 -Kind of. -Orion, our cosmic connection 505 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,080 is infinitely deeper 506 00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,008 than what a "father" feels for a "son." 507 00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,102 I love you, me. 508 00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,920 I love you, too... me. 509 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:15,164 Mm. 510 00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:18,776 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 511 00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:22,004 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 512 00:21:22,023 --> 00:21:25,007 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 513 00:21:25,026 --> 00:21:27,952 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 514 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:29,845 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 515 00:21:29,864 --> 00:21:32,206 Shh. 38217

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.