All language subtitles for What.About.Bob.1991.1080p.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-TrollHD.en.sdh

I feel good. I feel great.

I feel wonderful.

I feel good.
I feel great. I feel wonderful.

I feel good. I feel great.

I feel wonderful.

I feel good. I feel great.

I feel wonderful.

Good morning, Gil.

I said, good morning, Gil.

I got to go to work. See you.

Wish me luck, Gil.

(sirens, shouting and traffic noise)

Doctor, it's your wife on the phone.

Thank you, Claire.

Fay? Are we sitting down?

My publisher thinks
it's going to happen.

Yeah, he thinks Good Morning, America
is coming up to Lake Winnipesaukee

to interview me.

It's a tremendous shot in the arm
for my book.

No, it's very unusual.

I think they did visit
Dr. Ruth's house once, but...

(buzzer)

Hold on a second, honey.

- Yes?
- Dr. Carswell Fensterwald on the phone.

Thank you. Fay, I have to go, there's
another colleague on the phone.

Boy, they sure do come out of the
woodwork when you're famous.

Goodbye, dear.

- Carswell!
- Leo!

Long time, no see, huh?

You got a big book out.

Things are really clicking, huh?

- That's the way I planned it.
Listen, Leo.

I'm quitting my practice for a while.
I'm leaving town.

And I have one patient
I'd like to refer to you.

Exactly what kind of a case is it,
Carswell?

He's not psychotic, is he?

No, no, nothing like that. No. Listen.

His name is Bob Wiley.
He pays early. He comes on time.

And uh... He just needs
someone brilliant, Leo.

I know that you don't like flattery,

but if there's anyone I know
who could win the Nobel Prize, it's you.

Well, I suppose I could find an hour
for him some time after Labor Day.

OK, I'll work him in for an interview.

How come you're quitting the business?

We're a dying breed, Leo. Good luck.

Free!

Claire, if a Bob Wiley calls,
schedule him for a short interview

after I get back from my vacation.

He's already called, Dr. Marvin. Twice.
He's your next appointment.

That's persistence.

I feel good. I feel great.
I feel wonderful.

- Son of a bitch! Dirty bastard!
- ..feel wonderful.

I feel good. I feel great.
I feel wonderful.

I feel good!

Can I help you, sir?

Yes. Dr. Marvin? Dr. Leo Marvin?

Second elevator. 44th floor.

Thank you. Elevator?

(panting and gasping)

Bob... Wi...

Bob Wiley?

Yes.

Erm... Why don't you sit down?
It'll be a few minutes.

Dr. Marvin, Bob Wiley.

Thank you.

- Thank you for working me in.
- Hello.

Should I call you Dr. Marvin or Leo?

Whichever you like.

- Call me Bob.
- Bob.

- Is that your family?
- Yes.

Let me guess. I'm very good at this.

Uh... That's Harriet.

And then Ronnie, Gretchen...

..and Rita.

Ah, wait a second. Uh... Cecilia,

Dorothy.

And this is Kenneth, and...

Bambi.

This is my son, Sigmund, and my wife,
Fay, and my daughter, Anna.

That's my sister, Lily.

Lily? I was close.

- It's a beautiful family.
- Thank you. Have a seat.

Why don't I start?

The simplest way to put it...

I have problems.

I worry about diseases,
so I have trouble touching things.

In public places,
it's almost impossible.

I have a real big problem moving.

Talk about moving.

As long as I'm in my apartment, I'm OK.

But when I want to go out,
I get... weird.

Talk about weird.

Talk about weird?

Well, I get... dizzy spells.

Nausea. Cold sweats.

Hot sweats.

Fever blisters. Difficulty breathing.
Difficulty swallowing.

Blurred vision. lnvoluntary trembling.

Dead hands.

Numb lips, fingernail sensitivity.

Pelvic discomfort.

So the real question is,
what is the crisis, Bob?

What is it that you are truly afraid of?

What if my heart stops beating?

What if I'm looking for a bathroom,
I can't find it, and...

my bladder explodes?

Have you ever heard of
Tourette's Syndrome?

Involuntarily shouting profanity.

It's exceptionally rare.

Shit-eating son of a bitch!

Bastard! Douche bag! Twat!

Numb-nut! Dickhead!

Bitch!

Why exactly are you doing this?

If I fake it, then I don't have it.

You know, it's the same
with the cardiac arrest.

Are you married?

I'm divorced.

Would you like to talk about that?

There are two types of people
in this world.

Those who like Neil Diamond
and those who don't.

My ex-wife loves him.

I see. So, what you are saying is that,

even though you are an almost paralysed
multiphobic personality,

that is in a constant state of panic,

your wife did not leave you. You left
her because she liked Neil Diamond.

No. You're saying that maybe...

maybe I didn't leave her
because she likes Neil Diamond,

but maybe... maybe she left me?

Yes.

Ow. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

Dr. Marvin,

you can help me.

For the first time in my life,
I feel like there's hope.

I feel like I can be somebody.

Bob, there's an old saying.

The best psychiatrist in the world
is the one right inside of you.

Yeah.

- I can help you, yes.
- Thank you.

Bob, there is a ground-breaking
new book,

that has just come out. Ah!

Now, not everything in this book,
of course, applies to you,

but I'm sure that you can see,
when you see the title,

exactly how it could help.

Baby Steps?

It means setting small, reasonable
goals for yourself. One day at a time.

One tiny step at a time.

Baby steps!

For instance,
when you leave this office,

don't think about everything you have
to do to get out of the building.

Just thing of what you must do
to get out of this room.

And when you get to the hall, deal with
that hall, and so forth. You see?

Baby steps.

- Baby steps.
- Oh, boy!

Baby steps. Baby steps!

Baby steps through the office.

Baby steps out the door.

It works.

It works.

All I have to do
is take one little step at a time,

and I can do anything.

Baby step around the office.
Baby step around the office!

That should give you a lot to digest
while I'm on vacation.

Va...? Vacation?

Oh, certainly. My secretary told you.

As of this afternoon, I'm taking my
family on vacation until Labor Day.

That's a month.

What if I need you?
What if I need to talk?

My associate, Dr. Harmon,
would be happy to talk.

And, Bob, I'll be back.

Just read Baby Steps.

Baby steps... out of the office.

Very good.

Baby steps to the hall.

Very good, Bob. Keep going.

That's it. Bye.

- I'll see you in a month.
- Baby steps to the elevator.

Baby steps to the elevator.

July 31 st.
Bob Wiley, introductory interview.

Multiphobic personality, characterised
by acute separation anxiety,

and extreme need for family connections.

Bill the usual rate for the interview
and $29.95 for the book.

(knock on door)

It's your publisher.

Good Morning, America is definitely
coming to Lake Winnipesaukee!

Yes!

Thank you.

Baby steps to the elevator.

Baby step onto the elevator.

Baby steps into the elevator.

I'm in the elevator.

Bob: A-a-a-a-a-a-r-g-h!

♪♪ The Brady Bunch theme ♪♪

♪♪ Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪♪

♪♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪♪

(theme music continues)

Mid-Manhattan exchange.

Yes, this is Bob Wiley.
I'm a patient of Dr. Marvin's.

I have to speak with him right away.
It's urgent.

I'm sorry, Mr. Wiley, but...

It's Bob. And you are...?

- Betty.
- Betty. Hi.

Bob, Dr. Marvin's out of town
and Dr. Harmon's taking his calls.

I know that, Betty. It's just that
there's been some confusion.

I was supposed to call Dr. Marvin,
but I've lost his phone number.

Bob, I can't give out that number.

I know that, Betty. But you could
call him on the other line,

and tell him that I'm on hold
on the other line, couldn't you, please?

Thanks, Betty. Please.

Siggy, put that
in front of that other chair.

(phone rings)

Phone, Daddy.

Thank you, Anna.

Thank you, sweetheart.

- Yes?
- Dr. Marvin?

This is Betty at your exchange.

I'm sorry to disturb you
but I have a Bob Wiley on the line,

who says you'll want to talk to him.

Betty, you know better than that.
Dr. Harmon is covering for me.

I told him that, but he said he lost
your number and that it was urgent.

All right, put him through.

Go ahead, Bob.

This is Dr. Marvin.
What's the problem, Bob?

Dr. Marvin, how's the weather up there?

What?

How's your brood? You all
getting a chance to relax?

Bob, I thought I made it clear to you
that I'm on vacation.

I know, but I'm just worse
than usual this time. Really bad.

Bob, if this is really an emergency,
go to the Emergency Room.

And if it isn't, call Dr. Harmon.
I'm sure he can help you.

Well, I'd just feel so much better
if I knew where you were.

It's Martha's Vineyard, right?

- Bob!
- Well, can't we just talk?

Yes, we can.
In my office, after Labor Day.

After you're back from Fire lsland, huh?

Goodbye, Bob.

What, you want to keep Maine
all to yourself?

Goodbye, Bob.

Is this a fake hang-up?

It's a fake hang-up.

(phone rings)

I'll get the phone, I'll get the phone.

- Hello.
- Doctor, it's Betty again.

I have an urgent call from your sister.

My sister? Put her through.

Betty: Go ahead.

It's not you. It's me.

Lily? What's wrong?

Dr. Marvin, please don't be angry.
This is Bob.

I know I shouldn't be calling.

Bob, the doctor-patient relationship
is based on trust.

When you call me and pretend
to be my sister, I can't trust you.

Go to the Emergency Room.
Do not call me here again.

Oh, no, no, no! That was not smart.

That was not smart!

(banging on door)

Who is it?

Detective Roberts from Homicide. I have
some questions about a Bob Wiley.

What? That was the Bob
who kept calling Dr. Marvin.

That was that Bob who kept calling.

Unfortunately, Bob committed suicide
about 15 minutes ago.

Oh, my God!

That's terrible.

Very sad. It should never have
happened. He was a very sweet guy.

But he did leave a note, however.
He mentioned the name Betty.

- She's Betty.
- I'm Betty.

Oh, so you're Betty.

Bob called here,
trying to reach his psychiatrist.

Oh, well, where is he? I'll have
to ask him some questions, too.

Dr. Marvin's on vacation
in New Hampshire.

New Hampshire?

I can get him on the phone for you.

Good. No, don't.

If I really need to, I can get somebody
from NHPD to drop by in on him.

But, what if I wanted
to write him a letter?

Would you have
a mailing address of some kind?

Oh, sure.

- That's PO Box 14,
- Yes.

Lake Winnipesaukee.

Which is spelled...?

W-i-n-n-i-

(all speak at once)

- Two N's
- That's two E's.

Two N's, two E's.
Thank you very much, ladies.

I'm crazy about you,
especially you, Betty.

(phone rings)

It better not be who I think it is.

Hello.

What?

All right. Thank you for calling, Betty.

That was the service.

That patient, the one who called before,

he committed suicide.

Oh, Leo, how horrible.

Oh, well, best not let it
spoil our vacation.

Baby steps, get on a bus.

Baby steps, get on a bus.

Baby steps, board the...

This is the last bus to Winnipesaukee,
Bob.

Yes, I know, Wing. Thank you.

Baby steps, board the bus.
Baby steps, board the bus.

Do you think you can do it today, Bob?

We have a baby schedule to keep.

Baby steps, board the bus.

Baby step down the aisle.
Baby step down the aisle.

Baby step. And sit in the seat.

Hello. I'm Bob. Would you knock me out,
please? Just hit me in the face.

Do we have enough to feed
the entire crew?

Honey, we have enough
to feed the entire network.

Great! Another vacation
that's not a vacation.

Why do I have to dress up
for this stupid show?

What do you mean? You've already
tried on everything you own.

- I have not!
- All right, all right, gosh!

It's probably gonna be
a short interview anyway.

Just me and the family and my book.

Easy, fella. We're almost there.

(violent retching)

False alarm.

(cheering)

Dr. Marvin!

Dr. Leo Marvin!

Doctor... Marvin!

Dr. Leo Marvin.

- Thank you.
- Goodbye, Doctor.

- Thanks again.
- Doctor...Leo...Marvin!

Honey, is someone calling you?

- Doctor!
- Right over there.

Dr. Leo Marvin!

Oh, my God!

Doctor...

Leo...

- Leo, do you know that man?
- Get in the car. Come on, hurry.

Hurry, hurry.

Dr. Marvin!

Oh, I really appreciate this.

Everyone in the car.

Dr. Marvin!

Is this a bad time?

Oh, the fam!

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

What are you doing here?

I thought you were dead.

Oh, no, they told you. Well, I fibbed
a little bit, but don't be mad.

Bob, your behaviour
is completely inappropriate.

- You're angry.
- No, no, I don't get angry.

- Well, you're upset.
- I don't get upset.

- Well, then, let's have a little talk.
- I do not see patients on vacation.

Ever!
How many ways can I make that clear?

Now, what I'd like you to do is to get
on this bus and go back to New York.

I can't. I'm totally paralysed.
I'm all locked up.

- You got yourself here.
- Barely!

Well, getting back will be therapeutic.

- Can't we just have a little talk?
- You are testing my patience.

Come on, I've come so far.
I'm baby stepping.

I'm doing the work. I'm baby stepping.
I'm not a slacker.

Check it out, I'm in really bad shape.
Come on, please, please!

- Bob! Bob!
- Gimme, gimme, gimme!

I need! I need! I need! I need! Gimme!

OK, OK, all right, all right, all right!

All right. It's two o'clock. Go to the
bus station and buy a ticket home.

And then wait for me
in that coffee shop.

- You'll meet me?
- I'll call you. In two hours.

Oh, my God, you're the greatest.

You have to promise me that
you will buy your ticket and go home.

Absolutely.
I'm going to do it right now.

All right.
I'll call you at four o'clock.

You couldn't possibly make it 3:30?

Bob!

Four! Four, OK. Exactly four o'clock.
It's better.

Thank you, Dr. M!

Baby step to four o'clock.

Baby step to four o'clock.

Baby step to four o'clock.

Baby step to four o'clock.

Baby step to four o'clock.

Oh, my gosh. I need a bowl.

- What?
- He's been locked in for eight hours.

He's about to scream. He's furious.

Sorry, Gil.

Sorry, Gil.
A little negligence on my part.

There you go. Hang tight, fella.

Geronimo!

It was a long ride, wasn't it?

You needed a stretch.

Hey, no, no, no!
I'm expecting a phone call.

Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thanks,
everybody, I really appreciate it.

Also, if I lose consciousness
or black out,

or something explodes,

would you tell Dr. Marvin
that I was here?

Dr. Leo Marvin?

Do you know him?

Yeah. He bought our dream house.

We worked a lifetime
to save for a down-payment.

And he swooped down with his bagful of
money and grabbed it out from under us.

- Son of a bitch!
- She never says that.

Stay as far away from him as possible.

Well, that'll be easy. He won't see me.
That's why I'm waiting for the call.

He won't see you?

Well, we'll show you where he lives.

- You will?
- The son of a bitch!

She never says that.

I have the whole house to fix,
all the art to hang.

I have no idea what I'm going to wear
on the TV show.

But I have stopped everything
in order to teach you how to dive,

as it is as important for me
to see you dive

as it is for me to appear on
Good Morning, America.

- Oh, man, this is pressure!
- Take off your robe.

Why are you always wearing black? What
is it with you and this death fixation?

Maybe I'm in mourning
for my lost childhood.

All right, come on, turn around.

Toes at the edge, that's it.
Remember what we learned last year.

One, two, three, spring!

Now, bend at the knees, bend at
the waist, hands out, stiff as a board.

One, two, three, spring!

One.

Two.

Three.

Spring.

Spring.

Summer, fall, time to go, Dad.

I don't understand. Why won't you dive?

With all the horror that's going on
in the world,

what difference does it make?

Hi, Lily. I'm just calling to remind
you about Leo's surprise party.

Thursday night, seven o'clock, OK?

It'll be after his interview, so he
should be relax... Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, of course I'm thrilled, Lily.

The last person they interviewed
on vacation was Dr. Ruth.

Here he comes. Thursday night,
seven o'clock, don't forget. Bye-bye.

- He didn't dive?
- No.

Come on, sweetheart, he's just
a little afraid of it. Have patience.

It's not like I'm making him
jump out of an airplane or anything.

When I was growing up,
I thought diving was fun.

I thought you were born grown-up, Daddy.

Yes, I'd like the number
to the Guttmans' coffee...

- What are you doing here?
- Don't be mad. The Guttmans brought me.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. G.

You're welcome, Bobby. Hello, Dr. Marvin.

- The house looks good.
- Burn in hell, Dr. Marvin!

Bob, we agreed that I would call you.

Your coming here
is unbelievably inappropriate.

Dad, can I...

- Oh, sorry.
- Hi. You're Anna, aren't you?

I saw your picture. I'm Bob.

Hi, Bob. Nice to meet you, Bob.

Hi, I'm Bob.

I'm Fay.

Oh, Mrs. M, you are even prettier
than your picture.

- And younger.
- Why, thank you.

Fay, Anna, would you please excuse us?

I think Bob and I
have something to talk about.

Really? You think so, too?

Let's take a walk.

Bob, could I take your fish?

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

He's already eaten.
Don't let him tell you otherwise.

This is a great place.
No wonder the Guttmans wanted it.

Whoa!

I'm sorry about barging in here
like this.

That's all right. I understand.

Your problems don't go away
just because I do.

Bob, I'd like you
to take a long look around you.

What does everything you see here
have in common?

Vacation, Bob.

Vacation.

Now, I can't, Bob, at this time,

give you the therapeutic attention
you need to solve all your problems,

and you know why.

- You're on vacation.
- Exactly. But what I can do is this.

Don't give me pills.
I already have pills.

This is not pills.

Read it.

It says, "Take a vacation...

..from my problems."

I'm giving you permission
to take a vacation, Bob.

Not a vacation from your work, and
not a vacation from your daily life,

- but a vacation...
- From my problems.

Exactly!

Now, I want you to get on that bus
and go back to New York.

But, every single time a problem arises,

I want you to take that prescription
out and follow it to the letter.

Doctor's orders.

I'll see you in New York, in my office,
in one month.

This is incredible. This is astounding.

For the first time since Esalen,
I feel free.

You've given me a great gift, doctor.

The gift of life. You're a great man.

I knew coming up here
was the right thing to do.

It feels right because you're here.

And it feels right
because you're leaving.

- Have a great vacation.
- You too, Bob.

A vacation from my problems.

You bet I will.

There you go. Baby steps.

(Marvin whistles)

- Is everything all right?
- Yes, perfectly fine.

He seemed pleasant enough.

Mm-hmm. When he's controlled.

I got so excited,
I forgot to bring you with me.

Gil.

Oh, the fish!

That's a very nice likeness of you.
Of everyone, actually.

Bye, Bob.

Bye-bye, Bob.

Bye-bye. So long.

- You've got to be Sigmund.
- Yes, this is Sigmund and this is Bob.

- Bob was just leaving.
- Hi.

Oh, this is Gil, my fish, Sigmund.

- Did you get him out of the lake?
- No. City fish.

- Cool.
- But he's lovin' it up here.

Your father
is the most incredible psychiatrist.

I hope you appreciate him.

Have a great vacation, family.

Me, too.

Goodbye, Bob.

- Bye, Bob.
- Goodbye.

Bye.

- Well, he's different.
- Uh huh.

Neat fish.

I think I do look younger
than that picture.

Or,

this.

I told you, I like the rifle.
I think it's a symbol of virility.

Now can I eat breakfast? I'm supposed
to go sailing on George Stark's boat.

Wait, wait, wait.

Fay, I need your opinion. Rifle or bust?

I think both looks are wonderful,
sweetie.

Oh, Fay!

You know I can't live with that kind
of answer. I need feedback.

(bell clanging)

Good morning, Dr. Marvin.

No, these aren't for you.
They're for Fay.

For yesterday. For your hospitality
to Gil and me. I didn't say thank you.

I thought about what you said.
Take a vacation from my problems.

And I did.

But you're back.

- No, I'm not.
- You're not?

No, I'm not. I'm on vacation.

This isn't an appointment.
I'm dropping by.

This is my first time up at the lake.
This is my first time anywhere.

I haven't figured out
how to get food yet.

I'm staying at the Guttmans. When l
told them what you said, they insisted.

No, no, no.

I know we can't work, but let's
get the friendship thing going.

See you later.

Sure seems like he's staying,
doesn't it?

Hey, paper boy. This was on your porch.

Thank you.

Family conference! Family conference!

Now, I don't want any of you
letting Bob into this house.

- Why?
- Why?

Aren't you over-reacting
just a little bit?

I'm glad we're all in agreement.
Family conference is over.

A vacation from my problems.

Nobody here. Nothing to fear.

There's nobody here.
I'm completely alone.

I'm all by myself.

There's nobody here! Whoa!

- Hi, Bob. Where are you going?
- Hi.

I'm just going to town.
Buy some Kleenex.

- Well, you want a ride?
- I'd love one.

- Do a lot of people use this car?
- Just us.

So what's it like, being the daughter
of a brilliant analyst,

who's sleeping in the next bedroom at
night when you need him? Is it great?

No, it's not great.

I have problems, the same
as anyone else. The same as you.

You're afraid your bladder will
explode? What other ones are the same?

Like what? Like what?

Like analysing everything to death,
to see if what I'm feeling is normal.

Yes, I have that. Yeah.

Do you freeze up and turn into wood
when you're around a good-looking guy,

and you don't even know
if he likes you or not?

Well, not a guy, but yes, I free...

You know what? I treat people
as if they were telephones.

If I meet somebody
I don't think likes me, I say,

"Bob, this one's just temporarily
out of order."

"Don't break the connection.
Just hang up and try again."

- And does it work?
- It seems to be.

I'm on vacation at Lake Winnipesaukee,
aren't I?

Do you want to come sailing with me
on my friend George's boat?

N-o-o-o-o-o!

- That's OK, you don't have to.
- No, I'd love to.

That sounds great.

I... Well, I've never been on a boat,

and I don't think I can handle it.

It just makes my lips numb
to think about it.

But if your friend is a good sailor
and the craft is seaworthy,

yes, I will go sailing.
Yeah, let's go sailing.

I have no other plans.

I'm sailing!

I'm sailing!

I'm sailing!

I'm sailing!

I'm sailing!

I'm sail-i-i-i-i-i-n-g!

This is child abuse.
If you drop me, I'll prosecute.

I'm not going to let go
until you're ready, OK? Trust me.

Put your hands out like I showed you.

I'm not ready. You hear me? I'm not
ready. Don't drop me. I'm not ready.

Dr. Marvin! I'm sailing!

Whoa!

- How about that, doc?
- Oh, Siggy!

Oh! Oh!

Murderer!

Hitler!

Anna: Hi, Dad!

I sail!

Anna! Anna, come here, please.

Dad!

Anna, I'd like to speak to you, please.

Bob: Dr. Marvin, Dr. Marvin, guess what?

I sail. I'm a sailor. I sail!

- I'd like to talk to my daughter.
- lsn't this a breakthrough?

I mean, that I'm a sailor? I sail!

- I sail now.
- Keep sailing, Bob.

Out on a boat, on the lake,
way far away from the dock?

Into the wind,
with the sky and everything?

Bob: Ahoy!

I thought I told you
to stay away from Bob Wiley.

Daddy, I was with my friends.
Where are we going?

- Home.
- Well, what about the car?

Leave it! It's been a long time since
I've had a talk with my daughter.

- Oh, Daddy, not here!
- Anna! Anna!

Anna! Anna!

Anna, I know you won't listen to your
father, but you always listen to me.

So I'm asking you not to see Bob Wiley.

- Daddy, I am just...
- I can't hear you.

Where are you, Anna?

- I am just having fun with my friends.
- And Bob Wiley.

Yes, and Bob Wiley.

Bob Wiley is your father's patient.

Bob Wiley is a very sensitive person.

Your father's sensitive.

- Bob listens to people.
- Your father listens to people!

Except when he's up here
in Lake Winnipesaukee.

He is fun! Oh!

Your father's... kind of fun.

I'm Fay Marvin, Dr. Marvin's wife.

And I'm very happy
to be on your programme.

And these are our children,
Anna and Siggy.

(approaching footsteps)

- I'm a failure.
- What?

I'm going on national TV tomorrow
as an expert in human behaviour,

and in the last hour, both of my
children have told me they hate me.

Leo, come on,
you know that they don't mean it.

Anna accused me of being insensitive.

No, no.

What she actually said was,

I was insensitive and I didn't listen,
and I wasn't any fun.

And that Bob Wiley was.

Give me some time

to blow the man down

Notice anything different about me?

- No.
- Do you sail?

No.

Well, I just picked it up.
Wonder what I'm going to pick up next?

- Try diving.
- All right. Diving.

I know a great teacher.

I mean, my dad, he just dropped me
in the water, without warning me first.

I mean, I nearly drowned.
My whole life flashed before my eyes.

- You're lucky you're only 12.
- It was still grim.

I mean, what is it with him and diving?
What's the big deal?

Well, he prob... Whoa!

He probably just wants you to beat it,
that's all.

He probably just wants you to dive
because you're afraid of diving.

Did I tell you,
I sailed on my first try?

I just let the boat do the work,
that was my secret.

But with diving, what is the thing?
What's the trick?

I don't know, it's supposed to be easy.

Well, can you give me a handle on it?

Thanks.

Careful. Oh, careful!

- Just go to the edge.
- Careful.

Go to the edge. Come on, toes up,
toes up. To the edge. Don't worry.

Right here.
Let's call this the edge right here.

OK, step up to the edge.

Well then, walk up to our edge.

OK. Got you.

Now bend your knees, bend your knees.
Very good.

Now bend your knees
and be stiff as a board.

I am stiff as a board.

- Now lean forward. Lean.
- Just a second. Don't rush it.

This is my first dive.

Lean. Lean.

I can't see what you're doing.
Why don't you get in front?

All right, careful.
Hold it, hold it, wait, wait.

Hold my shirt and I'll show you
what we're supposed to do.

I got it.

- Bend my knees.
- Bend your knees.

- Lean forward with my arms out.
- Stiff as a board.

Honey? Come here and look.

Come here.

I don't want to have to see this.
No, please!

- One...
- No!

- Two...
- Don't do it, please!

Three...

Yes!

Yeah.

Bravo, Siggy!

Very nice, Bob. Thank you. Thank you.

I'll take it from here.

You dove. That's wonderful.

Did you see me dive, Dad?
Did you see me dive? I dove!

- Thank you. Excellent.
- Watch this. I can do it again.

- I'll take it from here.
- Did you see? I'm gonna do it again.

Thank you. That was very nice.

Leo! Look what you're doing!

Bob! Bob!

What are you staring at?
I had every right to buy this house.

Am I gonna die?

Am I gonna die?

Fay!

Look, everybody, I am not wrong often,
but when I am, I admit it. I mean it.

- I'd like you all to accept my apology.
- Well, what about Bob?

Marvin: What about Bob?

Yeah, Dad. Don't you think
you should apologise to Bob?

I will not apologise to Bob.

Why not?

All right. I'll apologise to Bob.

And now I'd like him to go.

Leo, why are you so hostile
to the poor man?

Because he's a patient.

Fay! Don't you get it? He's a patient.

A patient!

Could we have Bob over for dinner?

- Dinner?
- Yeah.

I don't want Bob for dinner, Fay.

- Leo, it's for the kids.
- I don't want Bob for dinner.

Fay! I want to think about
my interview tomorrow.

I'm sorry, Leo. Right is right.

Bob: Oh! Mm! Mmmm!

Mm! Mmmmmmm!

Mmm! Mmm!

Mm. Fay, this is so scrumptious.
Is this hand shucked?

Mm-hm. Would you like
some more chicken, Bob?

- Leo, do you want the breast?
- No, no, no, that's fine. Eat up.

- Mmm. Great biscuits, huh, Bob?
- Mmm, yeah.

Great biscuits, great corn,
great potatoes.

Do you want some more salad, Bob?

Yeah, I think I do.

Pile it high and deep, will you, please?

Could you get that tomato off there,
please?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Mmm! Mmmmmmm!

Fay, this is delicious!

Mmm! Mmmmmm!

Will you stop that, please?

Leo, I see salt and pepper.
Is there a salt substitute?

I'll get it.

And don't call me Leo.

But you said in your office
that I could call you Leo.

That was in my office. In my home,
I'd like you to call me Dr. Marvin.

He's just a little nervous
about his interview tomorrow.

Oh, yeah.
I heard about your upcoming debut.

Congratulations, Le... Dr. Marvin.

Your book is going to do a lot of good
for a lot of people.

I'm walking proof of that.

- Is this butter or margarine?
- Butter.

(strangled choking)

Dad?

- Dad, are you OK?
- Dad?

Honey?

Don't panic. I know what to do.

Don't worry. I got him.

- OK?
- No, do it again.

- Oh, my God, he's just...
- His eyes are popping out of his head.

I'm doing the right thing.

- He's turning blue!
- He's still choking!

There's one other thing.

Leo, honey, I love you. Breathe!

- Harder. Maybe with your knee more.
- Hit him harder. Jump higher.

- Spit it out.
- He's still blue.

Do it again. Breathe!

- Leo, are you OK?
- Get him off me.

Get him off me!

Bob, you saved him!

That was incredible.

I just never gave up hope.

(thunder)

Argh!

(Bob, Fay & Siggy)
With a happy refrain

Just singin', just singin' in the rain

We're singin' in the rain

Just singin' in the rain

What a glorious feeling

I'm happy again!

I'll walk through the kitchen

With a bowl full of chicken

And I'll put it in Fay and Leo...

I mean, Dr. Marvin's refrigerator
for the night

I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain

I don't like being a party-poop,
but tomorrow's very important,

and I think we'd better call it a night.

I don't want to be rude, but maybe
it's time for Bob to sing his way home.

Honey, he can't walk home in this.

Did I say that? I'll drive him.

Oh, Dad, the car's still at the marina.

- What?
- You said to leave it, remember?

Well...

the rain's got to let up soon.
He can go home then.

Well, what if it starts up again?

He can borrow my slicker.

(thunder)

- Leo! Leo!
- Ssh! I think it's letting up.

Leo, honey,
it's one o'clock in the morning.

We can't just make that poor fella
just sit here all night.

Let's just let him stay over.

Fay! Good Morning, America
will be here at seven o'clock.

You don't want them to find
a severely disturbed patient

sleeping on one of my couches.

There's an extra bed in Siggy's room.

Fay!

Leo, you were very upset
over Anna and Siggy.

Here's your chance to show 'em what
kind of guy Leo Marvin really is.

Come on, sweetie, come on.

Bob, we'd love for you
to spend the night.

That's a great idea.

Do you have a Dacron pillow?

Sure, sure. Anna, would you get
a pillow and some sheets for Bob?

Sure.

Siggy, would you get one of
your father's robes for Bob?

Yeah.

- Are you sure I'm not imposing?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, not at all.

OK.

Do you care which bed?

Well, I'd prefer facing southeast.

This one.

- Did you find a toothbrush?
- Yes.

Fay, do you know
where my new toothbrush is?

- It should be in the bathroom.
- I know it should be in the bathroom,

but it's not!

Leo, honey, just because you're
going on television tomorrow,

well, it doesn't give you any right
to be so snippy.

It is not that
that is making me snippy. It's him!

Him who? Bob?

Yes! Bob! Who else am I talking about?

Ssh! Quiet, he'll hear you.

So what if he hears me?
It's my house, isn't it?

Don't you get it? He faked suicide, huh?

Well, isn't that a cry for help?

What is the matter with all of you?

Don't you understand? This man is crazy!

I mean, for all we know,
the guy could be a mass murderer.

Oh, come on, Leo.

He's a sweet guy.

He's perfectly harmless.
Maybe a little neurotic, but not crazy.

Don't you realise
that everything he's done

violates
the doctor-patient relationship?

And now he's in there with our son!

Bob?

Yeah?

Are you afraid of death?

Yeah.

Me, too.

And there's no way out of it.

You're going to die.

I'm going to die.

It's going to happen.

And what difference does it make
if it's tomorrow or in 80 years?

Much sooner, in your case.

Do you know how fast time goes?

- I was six, like, yesterday.
- Me, too.

I'm going to die.

You are going to die.

What else is there to be afraid of?

Well, not diving any more, huh?

But...

- Tourette's Syndrome.
- What's Tourette's Syndrome?

What's Tourette's Syndrome?

Oh, I'm very proud of Baby Steps,
and very encouraged by its success.

I think the greatest challenge to me,
aside from writing it,

was in finding ways...
- Shit for brains!

Siggy: Butthead!

Bob: Dingleberry-butt!

Snotface!

Vulture-vomit!

Turkey-tits!

Siggy: Belch-breath!

Open this door! Sigmund!

Sigmund, open this door immediately.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Sorry.

- Sorry.
- What is going on around here?

Tourette's, Dad. Tourette's.

I'm sorry, Dad. Leo.

Dr. Marvin.

I don't want to hear another peep
out of this room.

- People are trying to sleep here.
- Honey, it's just kids being kids.

Well, tomorrow
is the most important day of my career.

We're sorry. We'll stop.

We just got carried away.
It will never happen again.

I want you out of here by 6:30.

The camera crew is coming at 7:00.
I want you out by 6:30.

Sure.
Would you like something for sleep?

- What?
- I have Valium if you need it.

No, I don't need any Valium.

- Halcion? Seconal?
- I want some peace and quiet.

Well, I'll be quiet.

I'll be peace.

(snorting)

Come on, Bob. Come on, here we go.

Now, we've just got to get your father
through Good Morning, America.

Bob gave me a great thing
to be afraid of instead of death.

That's nice, sweetie.

That's very nice, Bob.

- Night, fellas.
- Uh, Mrs. M?

Could you leave the door open
just a crack?

Okey-dokey.

It's six o'clock, Bob. Time to wake up.
Come on, let's go.

Come on, Bob. Get up.

Bob! Come on, Bob!

Bob, rise and shine. Come on.

Bob! Come on, Bob, get up!

Bob! Bob! Get up.

Come on. Come on,
it's six o'clock, rise and shine.

Anna, go get the car, right now.

Come on. Come on, Bob.

Bob! Bob!

Bob!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Bob! Bob!

Doh!

(alarm clock rings quietly)

Hi.

Honey, relax.

Baby stepping down the stairs.

Baby stepping down the stairs.
Is this a beautiful morning or what?

- Get out.
- I had the most incredible dream.

Leave!

Goodbye, Mrs. M. See you later.

Bye-bye, Bob.
- Bye, Anna.

- Bye, Bob.

Goodbye, rat-dick suck-nut!

Siggy: Goodbye, dog-piss barf-brain!

Later, testicle-head bosom-beaver.

Good Morning, America is here.

(crew member) Everybody, let's go.

Hi. I'm Marie Grady, lifestyle reporter
with Good Morning, America.

I'm a big fan.
I watch your stuff all the time.

I hope we're not too early.

I'm Howie Katrell, the director.

This is our producer, Lennie Burns.

Nice to meet you.

- Well, may we come in?
- Yeah. Oh, sure, yeah. Absolutely.

This is... This is our home.

I was thinking of something by the fire?

It's a fireplace shot.

- This is even nicer than the pictures.
- Thank you.

Is this your family?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Oh, excuse me! I'm sorry.

- This is my wife, Fay.
- Hi.

Oh, sorry.

- And this is my daughter, Anna.
- Hi.

And my son... erm...

- Siggy.
- Siggy!

- Oh, hi. I'm Marie.
- Hello, Marie. I'm Bob.

Oh, yes, this was Bob.

He's a patient. He lives down the road.

Dr. Marvin, what a great idea!
A Baby Stepper in action!

Dr. Marvin's gonna have
a patient with him.

Fine. Lennie,
let's not shoot this fireplace.

- Let's set up over here and shoot...
- Whoa! Wait a minute, wait a minute!

No problem, Dr. Marvin.
We can still use the fireplace.

You on one side and Bob on the other.

I don't think it's a good idea
to have a patient on with me.

- It is.
- It is?

Yes, it's a great idea!

What better way
to show the effectiveness of your book?

I think it's a fireplace shot.

May I speak to you outside
for just one second?

Thank you so much.

I've worked very hard to get
where I am. Do you understand me?

- The schooling alone. I understand.
- I do not want you on the show with me.

- Do you understand?
- I think I do.

Now make up some excuse.

Dr. Marvin, Bob,
can we have you in here for a minute?

- I can't. Dr. Marvin doesn't want me...
- Nah-hah!

- Get in there. They're waiting for us.
- OK. OK.

Right this way.

♪♪ Good Morning, America theme ♪♪

Director: In. 3... 2... 1 ...

We're back, and we're going now
to lifestyle reporter Marie Grady,

in Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire.

Marie, what is so special
about Lake Winnipesaukee?

Well, Joan, among other things, it's
the summer home of Dr. Leo Marvin,

author of the newest sensation
in therapy, Baby Steps.

And with Dr. Marvin is Bob Wiley,
who is a patient,

and obviously a big fan
of Baby Steps therapy.

Good morning, Dr. Marvin, Bob.

(both) Good morning.

Now clearly, to come on national
television live, with a patient,

shows confidence in your meth...
(sneezes)

..thods

Urgh!

(whispers)

False alarm. Sorry.

OK?

Good. Now, Dr. Marvin,

exactly how does Baby Steps
work on someone like Bob?

Well, Joan, I'm very proud of Baby Steps

and enormously gratified by its success.

I think the greatest challenge,
aside from the writing,

is finding ways to make it accessible
to laymen as well as to my colleagues.

(gasps)

Bob, tell us your impressions of
Baby Steps.

Mashed potatoes and gravy, Marie!

I couldn't be happier about Baby Steps.

I was a total disaster.

And now, because of this man,

this morning I'm on TV in front of
millions and millions of people.

I don't even think Dr. Marvin knows
what's going on.

He can't believe what's going on.
I'm very excited.

It sounds like
a very intriguing process.

How long have you been a patient
of Dr. Marvin's?

- Well... Three or four days.
- Three or four days?

The book is not really meant to work
that quickly.

It only worked that quickly with Boob.

- Bob.
- You can call me Boob.

I don't want to call you Boob.

- Even as an accident, it's OK.
- No, I don't want to call him Boob.

The book isn't meant to work
that quickly.

But it did work that way.
That's the miracle of Baby Steps.

It's not just this book.

It's this man. It's the compassion.
It's the dignity.

It's the wisdom. It's the...

It's the horse sense of the guy
that gets you.

And it has turned me... l...

He actually had me stay here last night
in his jammies.

Using his toothbrush.

In his house.

And I spent the day swimming
and sailing with his family.

Fay and Anna and Siggy,

come here.

Oh, Fay, l... Can they?

Here's the fam! The Marvins.

This is Fay and Anna and Siggy,
whom I went diving with yesterday.

And Dr. Marvin accidentally pushed me in.

You have a very nice family.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming. Thank you.

Marie, you're wise. What do I say to
someone who has turned my life around?

Who has given up so much of their time
and their vacation to make me better?

What I'd like to do is put the
greatness of this man in perspective.

I think there's only really three names.

Dr. Albert Schweitzer,

Mother Theresa of Calcutta, probably,

and Leo Marvin.

The book is Baby Steps.
The author is Dr. Leo Marvin.

And we've been talking with Bob Wiley.

Pretty impressive stuff, Bob. Dr. Marvin.

Back to you, Joan.

Way to go, Bobby!

- That was wonderful, Bob.
- Thank you very much, Marie.

Can we come back in a few months?

Aah, as long as it's OK with my doctor.

What? Oh, absolutely.
That's a very good idea.

- Come on, Dad. We're taking a picture.
- Come on, Dr. Marvin.

No, no.

You go ahead.

How long are you planning on staying?

Just till Labor Day and then
we all go back to New York City.

(Photographer) Big smiles, everybody.

Cheese!

- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye, Marie.

Bye-bye, it was nice having you.

Bye, Howie. Bye, Marie.

Come again.

Oh, they're so nice.

- You were great, Bob.
- You really were.

You were incredible. I mean,
Dad choked, you saved him.

It was such a big day
for the whole family.

Here's the one who made it happen.

Dr. Leo Marvin.

Dr. Leo Marvin.

- Get out!
- No, we won't get out.

We won't. You deserve it.

I mean, get out !

Get out!

Is it something I said?

You've ruined my life!

You've ruined my career.
You've ruined my book.

You've turned a perfectly peaceful
house into an insane asylum.

Get out!

- Daddy!
- My God, Leo, what's gotten into you?

It was a disaster, Fay!

No, it wasn't.
You were wonderful, sweetie.

You were fine, Dad.

Why did you need to kick
Bob out of the house?

You think he's gone? He's not gone!
That's the point. He's never gone.

Is this some radical new therapy?

You see!

We can't be expected to understand him.

He's so far above us, we're like ropes
on the Goodyear blimp.

Are you all right?

I want to apologise to you for that
terrible outburst. I'm truly sorry.

Call it a case of show business nerves.

We can all certainly understand that.

A lot of people freeze on TV, Dad.

Thank you.

Bob, how would you feel about
you and me having a little talk?

Just me and you?

Mm-hm. I think I'd like to spend
a little time with you.

Pay you back
for all the time you've spent with me.

What do you say?
Feel like going for a little ride?

Do I?

This is so sweet.

- Really great of you, Dad.
- Really nice.

Look how happy he is.

Try to be home by seven.

Where are we going?

Intensive psychotherapy.

Wa-hoo!

OK, some free associations
from my infancy.

A beach ball.

A dog.

A frog.

A log.

A poodle. A noodle.

A doodle.

Dr. Marvin to see Dr. Tomsky.

Dr. Leo Marvin.

Main building, Doctor.
They're expecting you.

- Hey, you're Bob Wiley, aren't you?
- Yeah.

I saw you on TV. You were great.

Ha!

Hello, Leo. Long time, no see. Sorry
I missed your show this morning.

Well, is this the friend
you called about?

Bob Wiley, I'd like you to meet
your new pal, Dr. Tomsky.

- Hello, Bob.
- New pal? What's wrong with my old pal?

Would you show Mr. Wiley
to his room, please?

Oh, no, wait a second, Doctor. Doctor,
you're coming with, aren't you?

Fellas, I have convulsions.
My bladder is really funny.

Fellas...!

I really appreciate you helping me out.

I can only hold him for 24 hours, Leo,
without staff corroboration.

I'm not worried about that in the least.

I'm sure your entire staff
will corroborate.

Thank you very much, Katherine.

- You're welcome.
- Thank you.

You see, Bob, I will not be defeated.

I will negotiate and I will compromise,
but defeat?

Cigarette, Bob? Oh, sorry, I didn't
realise you were in a straitjacket.

Honey, Katherine Tomsky's on the phone.

Hello? What?

No. No!

- Son of a bitch! That son of a bitch!
- Where's Bob?

Honey, where's Bob?

What about Bob? What about Bob?

What about Bob?

"ls it male or female?" He says, "It's
a female. What, do you think I'm weird?"

But, uh, it reminds me
of my favourite poem.

Which is, erm...
Roses are red, violets are blue,

I'm a schizophrenic, and so am l.

Bob: The psychiatrist has a patient.

He draws a circle and says, "What do
you think of when you see this?" "Sex."

(laughter)

That's not the joke yet. Wait a second.

He draws a tree and says,
"What do you think of that?" "Sex."

Then he draws a picture of a car,
a house. Sex, sex, sex.

The doctor says,
"You're obsessed with sex."

And the patient says, "You're the one
drawing all the dirty pictures."

I'm giving you back your admittance
form, to save you any embarrassment.

Embarrassment?
Katherine, you have been duped.

By a textbook narcissist.

A brilliant sociopath.

Brilliant enough to dupe
my entire staff? I doubt that.

It's perfectly natural
for a patient to bond with his analyst.

Oh, it's not that...

If you want to be rid of him, just tell
him you won't treat him any more.

Katherine, that's easy for you to say.

The man is human Krazy glue.

You should never have let him
sleep in your pyjamas.

I can't believe that I'm hearing this.

- Relax, Leo.
- I'm relaxed!

- Take a vacation.
- I'm on vacation!

Maybe you should check in here
for a few days, get a handle on things.

(explosive laughter)

It was an interesting morning. Fruitful.

But it lacked the intensity
that you and I generate together.

The sparks that we get one-on-one?

We just got to figure out a way
to work around your schedule.

Could we work afternoons?

Two to four? Three to five?

Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
Saturday and Sunday?

Aaaargh!

Are you saying
you'd rather work mornings?

Get out of the car!

It's a combustible relationship,
isn't it?

Is it just you and me,
or is it you and everybody?

What is this? lsolation therapy?

(approaching siren)

Number 2 at the corner of Church
and Mainland. Just a fender bender.

No report of injury.

Ahoy!

Excuse me, officer.
Can you make sure he's home by seven?

Hey, didn't I see that guy on TV?

You're certainly very shrewd, Bob.
Really, very shrewd. You stayed free.

And I wrecked my car.
But it's over, Bob!

Goddamn!

Son of a bitchin' Bob!

I'm home!

Fay?

We're out here, sweetie.

Surprise!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, Leo Marvin

Happy birthday to you!

(cheering)

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Dad, what happened?

Dad?

Honey, you're a mess. Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I just had a little car trouble.

Oh, on your birthday.

Happy birthday, Leo.

(all) Happy birthday, Leo.

Sweetie,
we have a great big surprise for you.

Your sister Lily's here from Chicago.

Happy birthday, Leo.

Lily!

We're all here for you, Dr. M.
This is your night.

Don't touch my sister!

I've never seen him like this, Phil.

He's been under a lot of stress, Fay.

His book, his interview,
which frankly didn't go so well.

And his birthday.

Exactly.
That's a lot to bite off all at once.

Sedative's probably taking effect.
He should be sleeping now.

Phil, do you think Leo was surprised?

Oh, I think so.

- How is he?
- I'm leaving a prescription for Prozac.

Excuse me, Phil,
but with these particular symptoms,

is Prozac the right choice?

You think Prozac is a mistake?

With this kind of manic episode,

I would think Librium might be
a more effective management tool.

You could be right.
I'll rewrite the prescription.

Bob, why do you think
Leo went after you like that?

I don't know. He's been tense today.
But don't worry.

No matter how long it takes, I'm going
to stay on and help. I'll be the daddy.

You are such a good friend.
Leo's lucky to have you.

Lily, honey, I didn't thank you,
sweetie. Thanks.

Oh, no problem. lt'll be all right. Bye.

- It's been a real pleasure.
- Keep me posted.

OK.

- Bye, Aunt Lily.
- Good night, Lil.

- Bye, Lily.
- Bye, Bob.

This is so hard, Bob.

But, now, listen.

We're not defending
Leo's recent behaviour in any way,

so please don't take this personally.

No.

But we've been thinking
that however irrational the reasons,

Leo's just so upset with you right now
that...

we just think it would be best if
you're not here when he wakes up.

Please, it's not the way I want it.

- Me, either.
- Or me.

You want me to go.

I'm sorry.

Really?

Goodbye.

Green-puking piss-ant.

Later, barf-breath douche-mouth.

- Goodbye, Bob.
- Goodbye, Anna.

- Take care of yourself.
- OK. And you take care of Leo.

Just temporarily disconnected,
that's all.

You know, I've got to tell you.

I've had the greatest vacation
with y'all.

Y'all!

I am country now!

No, too messy.

No, no, not painful enough.

Yes!

- He's not at the dock.
- He's not downstairs.

- Let's get in the car. Come on.
- Maybe he went for a walk.

That's how mass murderers start.
No-one sees it coming, then snap!

(timid whistling)

(owl cry and rustling)

Hello?

(howling)

Oh, gosh!

Dr. Marvin!

Doctor!

Dr. Leo Marvin!

Dr. Marvin!

Dr. Le...

- Dr. Marvin!
- Hello, Bob.

What are you doing with a rifle?

Fay: Leo!
- Get back. Get back.

- What are you doing with that?
- Quick, quick!

Daddy! Daddy!

Stand there.

Anna and Siggy: Dad! Dad!

- Daddy, where are you?
- Leo!

- There goes the fam.
- Ssh! Be very quiet.

And do exactly as I say.

Turn around.

- Now move.
- What are we up to?

Death therapy, Bob.
It's a guaranteed cure.

Wow! Should I put my hands up?

Yes, that's good. Do that.

Which way?

To the left. To the left, yes!

It's so right that you and I have
come together, isn't it, Dr. Marvin?

- I know it was meant to be.
- You think so, Bob?

Yes. Because it's time.

And I'm ready.

With Dr. Carswell Fensterwald,
I wasn't ready.

With Dr. Rosengay and Pancheski,
it wasn't time.

I certainly wasn't ready for
Mallerstein or Miller or Hill.

But with you, finally, I'm ready.

The only significant difference between
those other guys and me, Bob,

is that I'm going to kill you.

But if you shoot me,

then our therapy will be over.

I'm not gonna shoot you, Bob.
I don't think I could shoot anybody.

I am going to blow you up.

This is called black powder, Bob.

One teaspoon of this stuff
can blow up a tree stump.

There we go.

And how much is this?

Twenty pounds' worth.

You understand, don't you?
There's no other solution.

You won't go away.

- I will.
- No, you won't.

You're just saying you will.

But then, after I don't kill you,
you'll show up again.

You'll do something else
to make everyone in my life

think you're wonderful
and I'm a schmuck.

But I'm not a schmuck, Bob.

I'm not going to let you breeze into
town and take my family away,

just because you're crazy enough
to be fun.

(Marvin hums)

(Marvin laughs maniacally)

You'll take care of Gil for me?

Yeah, don't worry.
I'll feed him till he's big and fat.

And then I'll eat him, Bob!

You sure are convincing, Dr. M.

This is tricky.

What? Oh, that's terrible news, Fay.

Well, he did try to commit suicide
once before.

Maybe we should have seen it coming.
More fish, anyone?

I'm all tied up.

You're tied up.

Yeah, that's it.
You're saying I'm all tied up inside.

OK... I'm all tied up inside.

And these phoney bombs mean that...

if I don't... untie myself... inside,

the emotional knots...

I'm going to explode!

Yeah! Oh, it's so... simple.

Yet so brilliant.

OK, Dr. M. I get it.

Baby step,

untie your knots.

Free!

Free!

Free!

Dr. M! You did it!

Fr-e-e-e-e-e-e-e! Hoo hoo hoo!

Dr. Marvin, Dr. Marvin! You did it!

You did it! Leo!

Oh, Leo-lee, I'm free!

On Tuesday, we'll eat Gil.

On Wednesday, we'll eat Bob.

No, no, no, that's going too far.

(car approaching)

- Dad!
- Daddy!

Dad!

Dad, are you all right?

- Where were you?
- We've been worried sick about you.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Really, thank you for asking.

I'm fine now. Bob's gone.

We know, sweetie.

You do? How?

I didn't hear it go off.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow
- It's Bob!

For he's a jolly good fellow

- Bob! Just leave, please.
- No, no, no!

For Leo Marvin's a genius

Your death therapy cured me,
you genius!

What are you doing here?

You cured me, Doc-o!

Bob! The bags I put around your neck,
Bob. Where are they?

In the house.

Why?

Sweetie? Our house?

Oops.

Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!

Tomsky: It's been episodic
for the last couple of days.

Lily: Is he on any drugs or sedatives?

- Tomsky: He's on some medication.
- Lily: Do you think he can hear us?

Fay: Can we talk to him?

I don't know if it'll help, but try.

Come on, sweetie.

Leo! Sweetie!

Leo!

Can you hear me?

Daddy, it's me, Anna.

Leo, it's me, Lily. Your sister.

Fay: We don't care about the house.
Come back to us.

The worst is over.

Yeah, Dad. How much worse can it get?

Do you, Bob Wiley, take Lily Marvin

to be your lawful wedded wife,

to love, honour and cherish
till death do you part?

I do.

Do you, Lily Marvin, take Bob Wiley

to be your lawful wedded husband,

to love, honour and cherish
till death do you part?

I do.

If anyone here knows any reason

why these two should not be
joined together in holy matrimony,

speak now, or forever hold your peace.

(gurgles)

Then by the power invested in me
by the State of New York,

I pronounce you man and wife.

No-o-o-o-o-o!

- Dad's back!
- Daddy!

Fay: Leo!

Leo!

Leo! Oh, my darling Leo!