All language subtitles for Super Pumped - S01E04 - Boober WEBDL-1080p.en

Previously, on
" Super Pumped"...

Frictionless experience
for every passenger.

Credit cards on file,

You just get out of the car,
get on with your life.

- Tip?
- No. Our rev share's

So good, our drivers
don't need tips.

Uber has some
very special incentives.

Twenty dollars a mile?

Yeah. Thrilled to have you
exclusive to Uber.

New plan:
We're gonna step up

the information technology
on our drivers.

You mean surveillance?

We don't have to use
words like that.

- Might cross a line.
- So far I can't get anyone to talk.

There's dirt out there.
I brought a shovel.

Why do you have
such a hard-on for my client?

Here's how Google rolls:

They will bigfoot you,
they will lowball you,

And you'll be screwed.

Breakfast, Tuesday,
9:00 a.m.

I want Larry Page there.

You don't actually write code,
do you, Tyler?

Travis.

Kalanick.

You got an ask?

Quarter bil.

Our founder just raised
some serious cash.

There is nowhere near
enough fear

In Silicon Valley
right now.

I think you will see
some dead unicorns this year.

You're VC's, you're supposed
to actually believe

in the company
that you put money into,

not just protect yourself
from the possibility

you made the wrong call.

Shit.

Opening theme music plays...

- == [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

"Rooster" by Alice in Chains
playing...

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ain't found a way
to kill me yet ♪

♪ Eyes burn
with stinging sweat ♪

♪ Seems every path ♪

♪ Leads me to nowhere ♪

Wife and kids
household pet

Army green
was no safe bet

Speaking Portuguese...

♪ ... to me from somewhere ♪

Mmm

If I'm General Patton,
and I fucking am, right?

I mean, sorry, wait.
Can I curse? I'm gonna curse.

If I'm Patton, is my point,
then my drivers are my army.

My family. Really, la famiglia.
Uber's one big family.

The drivers, the executives,
the investors, Google Ventures,

They just came in heavy.

Biggest investment
they have ever made.

That's how radical
our vision is.

Yeah

You know he ain't gonna die

Por favor! Não!

What scares you?

I wouldn't really say
anybody scares me.

I mean, what?

Big taxi?

Crooked city legislators?

- Clone startups?
- You're referring to Lyft.

Uh, you won't hear me
say that name.

But, yeah, fuck Lyft.
Fuck those guys.

I mean, we beat them.
Shook up the world and all that.

But it's ancient history,
really.

It's from Uber's
primordial era.

It's pretty recent.

Shit moves quick in the cut.

So, what's next?

World domination. Legit.

Our next app update comes
in 12 different languages.

We're launching
in Southeast Asia, China.

Uber's gonna be ubiquitous
across the globe.

Transportation as reliable
as running water.

Here

They come to snuff
The rooster

Young founders are a hot
commodity in the Valley.

Oh, ahem.

You must basically
have women on-demand now too.

Ah.

Yeah, we call that Boober.

Okay, well,

I think we should probably...

- Yes.
- ... move things along.

Don't forget your bag.

- All right.
- Thank you.

We're gonna be right this way.

Thanks. That was fun.

We've got to get our arms
around this as soon as possible.

Twelve murdered drivers
in Brazil.

The boardroom is an
imperium besieged, all right?

A board meeting
is an end-times-style brawl.

Katanas, battle axes,
fucking ninja throwing stars.

No weapon is off limits.

You play for power, survival,

And you stay for the barbaric
gore of it all.

One weak swing loses support
of the others,

And your blood paints
the boardroom walls.

That's a function of Brazil,
not of Uber.

How many taxi drivers
died in that country?

Probably a lot more than 12,
right?

No, you can't blame a country.
The drivers are unsafe

because the passengers
don't have to have credit cards

Or IDs to open those accounts.

Yeah, but that's why
we have passengers.

And, by the way,
exponential growth.

It's the frictionless
experience.

You know.
Think this through.

One journalist writes about
your drivers being murdered

While you're talking to another
one about getting laid.

- I did not...
- Close enough.

Where does that lead?
What other attacks may come?

Now just for the hell of it,

imagine that news crews are, uh,
picking up protests

Outside the Uber offices
down in Rio.

Just when we're about to get
the elusive foothold in China,

Xi Jinping, he sees it.

Pulls the plug
on the whole operation.

Other countries follow suit,
and before you know it,

The whole fucking worldwide
launches tank, Travis.

And/or we do something
to address the problem now

And let the drivers know
that we give a shit about them.

Pretty amped up, huh?

Well, it's not Gil's back porch,
that's for sure.

Is that some kind of Texas
expression for bullshit?

No.

And no, Bill,

It sure isn't.

This is unfolding
just like we thought it would

when we were jamming on this
with Crystal and Angie

up in the hot tub in Truckee.

We've got a big lead

And we've got to protect it,
right?

- Hell, yeah.
- Cheers.

Hell, yeah.

Hey.

Remember this.

Okay.

No, no. No, I mean it.

It's been you
and your best friends

Planning the future
in the open air.

Until now.

Hold on to that.
Remember it.

Hell, savor this.

That's the point of doing things
with people you love.

No, when we first met,
you told me that you'd listen

But you wouldn't be bound,
so don't give me the love shit.

They'll do what you say,

But not out of fear
or calculation.

And you're gonna hear them
the same way.

But when this company
becomes what I know it will...

Board meetings are not gonna
be like this anymore.

I've been in plenty
of boardrooms.

You have never been in anything
like what you're building here.

When this thing
becomes itself...

Board meetings are gonna...

Gonna be the Royal Rumble mixed
with the World Series of Poker.

Trust me.

Sounds good.

Hey, guys, get a beer.

When that day comes...

We on the same side
of the battle?

Well, if not, you and me will
know we fucked up really good.

Introduce you to the guys.

- Bill!
- Good to see you again.

- Yeah, thank you.
- Gil.

- Hi, Gil.
- What's going on

I commissioned
a driver survey.

You talked to my drivers
without me?

That is squirrelly as fuck.

Jesus.

Yeah. Your drivers are unhappy.

Without their bonuses
and their incentives,

They're struggling, Travis.

What kind of schools
do they have in their countries?

This spelling and grammar,
Jesus Christ.

You know what? Spell and define
"Manichaean," Graves,

Or kindly take
a listening posture.

It means seeing the world
in good or evil only.

Which by the way,
I kind of do.

If you line up with me,
you line up against me,

I never forget that shit.

It's not time
for philosophizing.

It's time for tipping.

Ti...?

That's your big solve
for building driver trust?

- Maybe it's a start.
- No. Sorry.

No, I don't think you guys
are seeing

The full theater of war here.

In a couple years,
drivers won't even be an issue.

The future of Uber is one
that moves beyond drivers.

The future doesn't matter
if we don't get there.

Tipping is an extra 20%
to the drivers' bottom line.

It shows them that we stand
behind them as a company.

Let them know
they can trust you.

Like I do, Travis.

Flip the perception.

Tipping begins to get that done.

And it's also just right.

No.

I'm sorry, no.

I'm not even gonna go on
the defensive for a second, man.

When I walk in this room,
it should be like Kirk Gibson

Walking into Dodger Stadium.

One loud long cheer that goes on
the whole fucking game.

We're doing millions of rides
a day, dude.

I am making you what your
comic books of your generation

Would call filthy rich.

All right, all right.
You want a standing ovation?

Fine, I'll stand up and clap.

But this isn't about my opinion.

It's about trying to turn
public opinion.

You know, I...

I don't mind kicking the drivers
a few bucks each time.

So why not make it a feature?

After everything
we just said about trust?

Did that whole Manichaean
comment just miss you, dude?

Look, some people got murdered.
That is a terrible thing.

But let's not jump to asinine
solutions like tipping and IDs

that blow up our
frictionless experience

Just because that's our only
idea right now.

All right.

All right.

I move we put the question to a
formal vote at the next meeting.

Seconded.

Hey, uh, let's talk
Code Conference.

Oh, yeah? There's someone
you want me to dazzle?

Investor? Journalist?

I'm your prize show jumper,
ready to leap.

Just point me
to the fucking fence.

I know you can clear anything,

but potential articles
about you partying at a resort

right after a murder.

So why don't you just lay low,
relax?

David, it's Code Conference.

It's Silicon Valley's elite
in concentrated form.

If I don't go, then
my competitors fill the vacuum.

That's not an option.

I'll see you there.

Fucking Gurley, man.

We've got a more
pressing situation.

Go ahead, you want to yap, yap.

Nine days
since we sent the update

To the App Store for approval.

What? Nine days?
No, that is way too long.

The version that's up right now
is fucking buggy.

It crashes like half the time
the user tries to update

Their pickup locations,
150,000 dropped trips a day.

We're losing $4 million

Every day this update
doesn't come out.

Maybe it's a glitch.
Maybe Apple is just bogged down.

There's a ton of new code
in the build,

Plus the new language functions.

The App Store does not
get bogged down.

Eddy Cue doesn't allow that.

Maybe...

Maybe he knows
the other thing.

You buried it deep, right?

- Right?
- Yes.

Yes, yes. He can't know.

All right, then cool.

I mean, I'm gonna
see Eddy Cue at Code, right?

I'll work him over.
I'll say, like,

he's not trying to hurt us,
you know.

He needs us.

We're the number one app
in the App Store, right?

If Uber's all glitchy
and we're losing users,

it's not just us losing.

Apple loses too, okay?

I go to Code, I crush it.

By the way,
then the board sees

they can't vote against me.

Yeah, let me introduce you.

Hey, I found her
wandering around out front.

New hire on your
Site Reliability Section,

So I know she's a rock star.

I mean, I'm an engineer, not a...

Leave her with me so I can give
her the rock star treatment.

I knew I hired on
at the right place.

Yeah. No doubt.
See you around the water cooler.

I remember your résumé.

Double major from Penn
in physics.

And, wait, don't tell me,
all right?

I love a woman
who does double Penn.

Philosophy.

I'm really excited
to be working here.

Feels like sailing
over the moon.

Poetic.

Uh, where did you grow up?

Where'd you go to high school?

Homeschooled.
Self-taught, really.

In Arizona.

You don't look homeschooled.

I've been studying
our platform,

and I already have ideas
on how to begin

Standardizing some of our
microservices.

A self-starter.

You'll do well here.

Uh, just, um, pick any spot
to work and dive right in.

Okay.

Habibti, I'm going
to stay in the city tonight.

Can't you come home?

Got to get an early start.
You know that.

So wake up early.

I'll get up with you,
make strong coffee.

I get more sleep this way.

Where will you stay?

With a driver friend.

He has an extra bedroom.

The money is worthless
if I never see you.

If the kids don't.

Quality time in the dark
isn't so great

When I can't pay
the electricity bill.

I'll see you tomorrow.

TK, Eddy Cue, nine o'clock.

Going in hot.

Now, whose plus-one are you?

Oh, you're with the waitstaff?
I'll take a dry gin martini.

I can't say I'm exactly happy

To see you here
tonight though, huh?

- Why is that, Travis?
- 'Cause you should be

In your office rubber-stamping
our app update.

Come on, your guys
are killing me.

Can you put a boot
in someone's ass, get this done?

Sure thing, TK.
Anything for you.

It's my raison d'être.

And text me a list of what else
you'd like me to do for you.

I didn't mean it like that.

I'm just saying,
I got to get this done.

My guys are all over me.

Okay.

Oh, look at this.

Picture me and Sergey Brin
in TechCrunch

jamming over dinner.

Think the board
can shut their mouths

About our public image problem,
huh?

- Sergey, it's such a pleasure.
- It's so good to see you.

I never thought
I'd say this,

But he is totally pulling off
those Crocs.

Sergey, it's a pleasure.

Yeah, for him,
the Crocs are a power move.

Hi, partner.

It's great to be
breaking bread with you.

Is this, uh, table four?

I'm supposed
to be at table four.

- Hello. Hi, how are you?
- Hi.

Pleasure. I'm Sergey.

Gabi.

Our endgame is to build
the TCP/IP for real life.

Like, I want to be
the packet switching

For the physical world.

Well, you'd first have to turn
each shipment and passenger

Into the same uniform size.

That's what they said
to the Wright brothers

About fixed-wing
air travel, right?

That was a different problem
entirely.

No, I know that.
I'm just saying it's...

So, um, your mother
is from Beijing, Gabi?

Have you ever been?

Uh, no, only once
when I was a baby.

But I've got relatives that
I'm hoping to go and meet...

Hold on, did you have research
done on her or something?

I bet you could give me a bio

on, like,
everybody in this room, huh?

Oh, I was just asking

Where she was from
while you were ordering, man.

So when you go, uh, you should
take the Hutong Food Tour.

They're these alleyways
with different stalls.

- Each stall has its... oh...
- Sergey!

Uh, each stall is another
sort of exotic, uh, delicacy.

I ate a snow leopard paw.

The paw of a snow leopard.

What they do is they take
the leopard's paw and crack it.

You think you know her,

but that's just 'cause
you know her name.

Arianna Huffington.

This is not somebody
who says the first thing

That pops into her cabeza,
Daddy-o.

If a chess grandmaster
is always three steps ahead,

this gal is on
the moving sidewalk

While you're still
tying your shoestrings.

She started a news
and culture website

where the writers
didn't get paid

fucking dick for their writing.

And she went ahead and sold it
for $300 million.

And she was just getting
her motor revving.

- [waiter[ Sir.
- Thank you.

The notorious
bad boy of tech.

Were you offended
by my Boober comment too?

Because I'll tell you
what I told my publicist,

I'm not going
on an apology tour.

Offended? Darling,
you're talking to someone

Who's had to sit at meals with
Bill Maher and Pat Buchanan.

Listen to them talk.

Find common ground.

The people who would...
Thank you.

Who would take offense
at you crowing a little bit

Just don't understand.

Every successful person
I know

Enjoys their success
in their own way.

Or they don't
stay successful very long.

And they certainly
don't feel it.

No, serving yourself
is serving your company,

Which is serving the world.

I'm...

I know who you are,
Miss Huffington.

- Arianna, please.
- Arianna.

And, yes, you are so right.

This is what I was trying
to tell my board.

They didn't even want me
to show up here.

So many young founders
burn out quickly.

Here one year,
gone the next.

Because they stopped listening
to their own voice.

Or because they only
listen to it.

But you, Travis,

when I look at you,

I can see
that you belong here.

Damn straight I do.

Uber isn't going
anywhere, and neither am I.

- Good.
- You know what?

You should give us
a ride sometime.

If you like it, tweet about us.
And my contact's on there too.

You are good.

I'm seeing it all.

I love it.

If you think you see it all,
give it another think.

Tamara!

I got you a drink.

Why? I'm sober.

Oh.

Fucked that up. Sorry.

No, I'll be able to resist,
trust me.

Okay.

Well, more for me,
I guess.

Um, I think it's really cool
that you got to come to Code.

I'm really glad you're here.

- Yeah, I know, right?
- Yeah.

It's nice to see all the hard
work paying off, you know?

Finally made it
to the VIP dinner.

Where you belong, for sure.

Ohh.

- To the VIP dinner.
- Yeah! There you go.

Well, I'll be at the hotel pool
tonight if, uh, you should...

Oh, I think... I'll see
what Travis wants to do.

Hey, I'm kind of tired.
You ready to go?

Yeah. Sure.

It was so nice to meet you.

And you, Gabi.

Next time you could try being
a little more professional.

I was just being polite.

You told me
to impress him.

Not by letting him think
you wanted to fuck him.

If I wanted to,
I could be right now

Rather than sitting here
and taking this shit from you.

I didn't say
you really wanted to.

I'm saying
that's what he thought.

You know, Travis,
I have two moves in that spot.

Walk away, stand in.

I didn't want to make a scene
and embarrass you.

Well, you did both.
It's okay.

Tomorrow, I'll just go
to the events by myself,

because I need Sergey
to like me.

To focus on me, not you.

Hey.

Um, something happened
last night.

I was talking
to Gil and, um...

He, uh...

What? Tell me.

He touched me.

What? That piece of shit.
Are you okay?

Yeah, I... I'm good.
I just...

I want to make sure
it doesn't happen again.

Okay.

I need to know
exactly what happened.

I need to know how badly
I'm gonna fuck this guy up.

Uh, he...

Could I get a Diet Coke
with a lime?

I will have what she's having,
but put rum in mine.

Hey, we should totally go
for a walk on that beach pass.

I mean, I stopped him,
but yeah.

Yeah, that never
should have happened.

- I really wish it hadn't.
- Listen, don't worry.

I'm gonna take care of you,
okay? I got it.

I'm gonna dismantle
that motherfucker.

Okay?

Yeah.

I swear to God, Jesus...

Fucking asshole.

It's fucked up.

You good?
You want anything?

Not hungry? Okay.

Bravo!

Very cool, Sergey.

The future is here.

Yeah, we have a good
feeling about this tech.

Um, but yeah, I said that
about Google Glass, so...

I think top
of everyone's mind

is the incredible potential
with this dev.

Owning a car
could become antiquated.

The entire insurance industry
could disappear.

Uh, is Google
considering starting

a self-driving
ride-hailing service?

Well, the only thing
I can say about that is, uh,

Anything is possible.

Hey, Drummond!

So that whole "lay low" thing,
that was bullshit, right?

You didn't want me to come here
so I wouldn't see that.

So I'd just hear about it
and then settle down

Before you had
to deal with me.

The settling down part
makes sense, TK. Do it.

Yeah, I almost feel like it,
because my own investors

Are plotting
to render Uber obsolete.

- Plotting? Plotting? Sergey...
- Sergey just got on stage,

and he demonstrated
the intention and the means

Of my demise
while smiling for the camera.

Not the plan at all.
Think about it, TK.

We just invested 250 mil
with you.

Why would we throw a grenade
and run right into it?

I don't know,
but that's what Sergey said.

You heard him. Did he tell you
to ask me not to come?

Is he trying to get me
out of the way, or is Larry?

Larry and Sergey don't really
know who you are, TK.

I find that a little hard
to believe.

Sergey was trying to climb
into my girlfriend

Pretty good last night.

Well, I think that was more
about her than you,

and proves my point,
because let me tell you

Who he wouldn't try
to take a woman from.

Zuck or Bezos.

Smart you came looking for me.

That presentation was a direct
attack on you and your business.

Right? But they won't cop to it.

I just lost my cool
with David Drummond.

I couldn't let him stand there
and lie to my face.

But, I mean, he's our highest
profile investor

With a board seat.

Here's what you do.

Find a new investor
with deep pockets,

someone you can put
on the board and count on,

To dilute Google's influence.

I mean, I have VCs knocking
on my door every day.

But if I'm gonna
put someone on the board,

I need to trust the fuck
out of them.

I don't trust anybody right now.

Well, I would offer myself
for the position,

but there's a conflict.

HuffPo covers Uber
too closely.

Second, you need your own
self-driving tech.

Being the best doesn't matter.
Being first does.

Whether you build it
or buy it,

You need to beat Google
to the product.

Levandowski.

Kalanick.

Now that we dispensed with
fineries, talk, talking man.

You're the one that should be
talking up on that stage.

Sergey was basking
in the light of your work,

But he didn't make this car go,
you did.

And yet they didn't
make you head

Of Google's self-driving unit.
It's weird, right?

Oh, you can't sow dissent
where it's already growing wild.

They won't let me do
open road tests.

Scared of the potential optics
of a crash.

So they promoted a Larry Page
kiss-ass over me.

You got to break
some egg-shaped cars

To make a fucking
self-driving omelet, right?

Exactly.

But I'm the only one
with the stones to say that.

You're not the only one.
I've always been my own boss.

I hire geniuses.

I let them say and do
whatever the fuck they want.

Geniuses like you.

Imagine that.

Running your own team.

Calling your own shots.
Isn't that what you want?

That's what I want.

Fuck these guys.

Let's beat them.

Oh, that's insane.

Oh, I know, I know,
they're giants, right?

They are monster
fucking aliens.

And they think
we're the goddamn Looney Tunes.

But guess what?
I'm Michael Jordan.

And so are you.

- How could we both...?
- It's a cartoon.

We make the rules.
That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Okay.

Taking on Google
with their resources?

It's too crazy.

Too much risk.

Fuck Larry Page.

Fuck Sergey Brin.
Fuck Google, man.

Those guys?
They're the establishment, man.

We're the renegades.

I take fear,
I mix it up with some lams.

I feed it to my dog
for breakfast.

Google's on your damn board,
man.

They're calling your shots

no matter how big of a game
you talk.

Wrong. Nobody controls me.

Especially my own board.

And I made it so by stealing
from Google's own playbook.

I gave Uber a dual-class
stock structure too.

And me and my boy Garrett,

We are the only ones
with super-voting shares.

I can block anything that any
board member tries to do.

And I can't be fired.

You're a devious motherfucker.

I'm a disruptor.

Sometimes that means
being a devious motherfucker.

Sometimes it means
being an obnoxious asshole.

When you're ready,
come by my office,

Tap on the glass.

"My girlfriend has no problem
finding other partners."

It's not as easy for me,
since I'm always here.

The whole
"open relationship" thing

Is working out better for her.

I decided I got to look
around here for someone.

Then you walked in.

L-O-L.

Winky face.

Mm, God.

That's pretty pathetic.

It really is.

I feel kind of bad
for the guy.

I don't.

It's so easy to just not
say things like that

- To your employees, you know.
- I know.

Just sounds like
he's lonely, though.

But that's not really an excuse.

I mean, isn't there a protocol
for these kinds of situations?

You could put in
a complaint.

Craig will be notified.

Technically
it's anonymous,

But he'll probably know
that it came from you.

That's my only option?

Leadership loves Craig.

He's a high performer.

This is a first-time offense
for him.

I don't really see a need
to ruin his life

Over something so small.

I don't feel comfortable
working under him.

We could switch you
to a different team.

But this is the star team.

Because Craig is a star.

You see?

Motherfuck! The update's
still not out?

The board thinks
it's coming out today.

Gurley's gonna be
sniffing around our shit

Like some fuckin' TSA
Belgian Malinois.

What the hell's
the holdup?

Eddy Cue is friendly,
right?

Yeah, no, that guy
fuckin' loves me,

Which I do not feel
from my own board.

I feel... judged.

The board is fuckin' legit

Being judgy as hell
right now.

I want to add somebody else.

Board won't add
unless that person

Can bring some serious dough.

No, I know.

Anybody I add's gonna
buy the ride, don't worry.

A huge fuck-you to Drummond.

Exactly. Sequoia...

I mean,
they have the capital,

But fuck them, I'm not
giving them a second chance.

Andreessen, they backed
the other guys.

Plus, him and Gurley,

they're like Dom Toretto
and Owen Shaw, so...

Um... oh.

What about David Bonderman
at TPG?

TPG?

TPG is Google Ventures'
biggest competitor.

Oh, is it really?

Google will take it
as a declaration of war.

Sergey started the war.
I'm just gonna win it.

Okay, well, to that end,

I can get you TPG,

But not Bonderman.

He'll put a junior on. Doesn't
take board seats anymore.

No, it's gotta be him.

True independent.

I'm saying, I need somebody
that cannot be

Fucked with by my opponents.

Then we should go back
to let's find someone else.

No.

I'm gonna show you something.

See this?

That's Levandowski.

I'm gonna poach him.
He's warming to it.

I'm gonna leave these fuckers
with nothing on their plates.

Strafing the enemy
while they march, oblivious.

Genius strategy.

Yeah, but, also,
once we do that,

We have to take it
the whole fuckin' way.

Oh, yeah. Knife-gun-
hospital-morgue.

You know, you take from me,
I take tenfold.

They are bigger,
stronger, richer.

We can't forget that.

What did... did
David's best friend

say this shit to David

when he was
loading the rock

Into the fuckin' sling?

Oh, you want a sling?

I get you a fuckin' sling
by 3:00.

My job is to lay out
the facts

And have your back
no matter what.

You want to do this,
we fuckin' do it.

Yeah, I've been spoiling
to fight these pricks

Ever since they made us
come begging to 'em for money.

I'll get you that meeting
with Bonderman.

Then, well,
it'll be up to you.

Let's fuckin' go.

Hey, I didn't bring it up,

because I know you're dealing
with a lot right now...

but that interview...

Uh, don't worry about that.

It's a public persona thing.

You know,
Dean Martin drank milk,

But he acted like a drunk.

I mean,
I wish you didn't have to do

The posturing part.

But I get it.

And I know the real you.

See, I wish I could have you
on my fucking board.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God.

They'd be so distracted by you,
they wouldn't say shit to me.

Can you imagine that?

The best thing about Travis

Is he'll run through walls
to win.

The worst thing about him is,
he thinks everything's a wall.

Have you lost faith in him?

No. No.

It's just that he's got
unfettered power,

which we helped give him,

and he's spinning
off course a bit.

We just need to be his bumpers.

Help keep this thing
from heading toward the gutter.

We redirect him in a small way.
He sees that it's better.

Then we can work with him.

I get it,
but Travis has more power

Than any of us
because of his super shares.

Exactly.

Our hope is to team up.

We can't bully him.

But if we sit back right now,
we do nothing, might lose him.

Might not be able
to reach him again.

Now is the moment
for intervention.

So on the tipping thing,
we need your vote.

Oh, I see that.

I see that you do.

Look, Travis threw a tantrum
in front of me at Code.

At me, really.

I didn't like how he talked

About my guys
Larry and Sergey.

That ego is getting in the way.
It needs to be checked.

I'm in.

David fucking Bonderman.

Bondo.

Guy manages about a trillion

Through the private
equity shop, TPG.

His investments sprinkle fairy
dust throughout the Valley.

Unparalleled brutality
in the boardroom.

This guy is
the motherfucking ringer.

Revenue. Growth projections.
Some security measures.

Do you want to go through
any of that?

I don't pick pepper
out of fly shit.

I know the numbers.

You want my $90 million,

You should know a board seat
comes our way in exchange.

Not our way. Comes to you.

Oh, I don't do that anymore.

I have a suite full
of vice presidents to pick from.

One of them will take the seat
and get granular.

No deal. It's got to be you.

Not sure you know
what you're asking.

I have to put juniors

In these board seats because of
the scale of our operation.

Downside is, a younger man
might get swayed by a founder.

I won't.

No puppet strings attached.

I call my own shots and cast
my votes the way I see fit.

That isn't exactly what some
past operators were looking for.

And they learned the hard way.

Well, that is what
I'm looking for.

So if it's not your ass
in the seat,

$90 million or not,

No deal.

David.

See you soon.

Fuck yeah.

- It's the entire list.
- Oh, my God. Yeah, okay.

- This is it.
- Here he is.

So Olivia Longociu
just published

Our entire list
of data access permissions.

- You goin' to the sandwich shop?
- Yeah, let's do it.

So I know for sure
that Maia's fucking someone.

That sucks.

How'd you find out?

For real?

I looked at her GPS data
through Heaven.

She Ubered to a residential
address on Saturday night,

And didn't leave
until Sunday morning.

If you find a trail of gold,

You can't be sad
when it runs out.

Just be glad you got some gold.

- All of them?
- Yes, all of them.

Everyone who reads it will know
that we access users' messages,

cameras, contacts, GPS,

even after the app's
been closed.

The comments on this article
are animated.

Animated? I mean,
they're inflamed.

Okay, okay, we're gonna
handle this directly, all right?

We're gonna put out a release,
talk about the context

Of all of our data access
permissions.

- Apple just rejected the update.
- Shit. Did Cue see the article?

Eddy, what's up, man?

Travis, your build breaks
dozens of App Store rules.

It's an abomination.

Okay, look, I'm sure we can
figure this out.

User privacy is the goddamned
first tenet of Apple.

You're following
your customers home.

We have very legitimate reasons
for why we access the data.

Change it, all of it,

if you want to stay
in the App Store.

Otherwise, we will erase Uber.

You got it, Eddy.
I'll fix it.

I've never heard of Eddy Cue
calling a CEO directly.

Yeah. Fuck, that's scary.

Our entire business depends
on staying in the App Store.

This is bad, Travis. I mean,
this really is apocalyptic bad.

Am I surrounded by a bunch
of doomsday preppers now?

- Is that what's happening?
- Wait, wait, wait.

If Apple wanted to execute us,

Tim Cook would have
called himself.

We're one of the biggest apps
of all time.

That is true.

And they know we know that.

It's a bluff.

They're bluffing.

Okay, but just because you know
someone's bluffing,

That doesn't mean it's your
moment to make a stand.

Change the app.
We're gonna play by the rules.

Do it now, fast.
Thank you, everybody.

Good read.

Where'd you get that, uh,
that bit about bluffing?

Bill Gurley.

Smart guy, right?

Bill motherfucking Gurley.

Will you get me
a six-pack of Pacifico?

What's up?

- Olivia Lungociu.
- Journalist at Madding Crowd

just fucked us hard
in her column.

Open her up
quick and quiet.

She needs to be
fucking neutralized.

I'll see what I can find.

The more personal,
the better.

Hey.

Uh...

Travis said that you were upset
the other night in L.A.

Yeah, uh...

I'm sorry.
Like, I was drunk.

So...

Um...

But you went
to our fucking boss?

Like, I thought
you had balls.

I'm sorry, "balls"?

You're employee
number four.

Plus, I thought you were...

Down.

For fuck's sake.

Hey, TK.

- Yeah?
- That thing we, uh,

Talked about,
the, uh, Gil situation.

Yeah.

You handled it, right?

Absolutely. Yeah, I told him
to knock it off.

And if he didn't, then I would
punch his ticket out of here

And out of the whole
legal profession.

That's it?

What else?

He's not gonna do it again.

If he does,
you just let me know.

Maybe that doesn't mean so much

Coming from the Boober guy.

It's a persona.

Why doesn't anybody
understand this?

Dean Martin drank milk.

What? No, that was counter-spin.
He had fucking liver failure.

Okay, look, I already have
a girlfriend and a mom

And two publicists
up my ass about this.

Can you not also try
to climb in right now?

It's just kind of hard
to do my job

When I'm surrounded by creeps.

Look, you hire the asshole
every time,

and then you let them do and say
whatever the fuck they want,

and you're not the one
who has to pay the price.

- I am.
- What would you like me to do?

Fire him?

Look, if I fired
every asshole in here,

There'd be no one left.

How about this?

How about we focus on what these
assholes are helping us build,

And why it takes assholes
to get it done.

The point-five percent
that you own,

That's gonna be worth
tens of millions of dollars.

Yeah.

How did your meeting go?

You got private eyes
following me?

Oh, you know this town.

Nothing stays a secret
for too long.

Or in this company,
it seems.

Anyway, uh,
it was a bit unexpected.

He was insistent that I'd be
joining you fellas personally.

That was a term.

Well, that would be ideal.

The board could use
a little less spinnaker,

A little more rudder.

What'd you tell him?

Same thing I'll be telling you.

I'm no bandleader.

No.

And that's what
we're counting on.

You've always responded to good
sense with good sense, David.

And we would be
expecting that to continue.

You'd be joining
at a crucial point.

We need to keep this unicorn
from running right off a cliff.

I'm throwing 89 mil
into this thing,

And you're telling me
that's a possibility?

No, no, look,
it's just a question

of slowing the kid's roll
a little bit,

Helping him grow
into the leader he almost is.

Kid's cocky.

He's, uh, flashy.

He's brash.

I think most of the greats
have those characteristics.

Or did, at one point.

Agreed.

Travis has all the qualities

Of an exceptional
founder-slash-CEO.

But he thinks he's still
killing giants.

That's a good way to put it.

Hell, you know
how this goes, David.

Just trying to rein the kid in,
that's all.

Shit.

All right.

I trust your take.
How do we play it?

We'll persuade Travis to add
another board seat to your deal

And appoint someone you trust.

That'll get us
most of the way to control.

How's it going?

You know what?

Why don't you guys
enjoy these?

I have no use for them anymore.

Let me get back to you, Rich.

I know you're not happy with me

And how I'm running
my company.

Well, it's nothing
that we can't talk out.

Yeah, that's what I thought
at first.

And I came here
to make peace.

But you know what?
I have an offer instead.

I'll buy back
all of your shares,

market value, $300 million,

And you can walk away.

That's not what I do.

I build great companies.
Companies that change the world.

I don't take the money and run,
Travis.

I'm the guy that stays.

So it's come to this?

For Christ's sake,
it doesn't have to.

Listen, your drivers
are miserable.

And if you won't listen to me,
why don't you listen to them?

And if this trajectory
continues,

People will stop
getting into Ubers.

Aw, just like they're gonna stop
shopping at Walmart

And stop eating at McDonald's?

Everyone knows
those are shitheel companies.

No one gives a solitary fuck,

Because the merch is dirt cheap,
and the fries taste delicious.

We consume what we want,

And our brains figure out a way
to justify it later.

And that's why the end
of a drunk night out,

or when you're running late
for work,

or just because
it's fucking raining,

people are gonna keep
pulling out their phones

And ordering an Uber without
giving it a second thought.

Relying on people's worst,

most base instincts

Is not a way
to change the world.

And the board
agrees with me on that.

The majority, anyway.

Which is enough for me to get
that vote tomorrow night...

And every vote after that.

I wouldn't rely on that.

By the way, we both know why you
don't want to walk away for 300,

And it's not
high-fucking-minded either.

It's because you know
that if you stay,

Your piece is gonna be worth
billions.

Travis.

They can't fire me,

But they can sure as hell
fuck with me.

I need your advice.

No.

You can't hear my advice
like this.

We need to get you centered.

Come.

I'm not supposed
to do this,

But I'm going to give you
a mantra.

Close your eyes.

Let mantra roll around
in your brain.

Let yourself go deeper.

- Thank you.
- Now, you're ready.

Let's talk.

Mm, see, there's a thing...

Uh, darling, please sit.

I can't have you choking.

Sorry.

Napkin.

This is what I need
on my board.

I need someone who knows
when I'm hungry

And when I need to breathe,
like you.

You know what I mean?
Everyone else, they're just...

They're out for themselves.

You added someone to the board,
and he's gone rogue?

Yes. Exactly.
David Bonderman.

Ah, big player.

Strong ally.

Difficult opponent.

Exactly, right?
So he's coming in with money.

But he met
with Drummond and Gurley

Right after we pitched him.

Then he sends me this email
asking for another seat.

Says his money
is contingent on that.

I thought he was just
being aggressive,

But now I know Gurley
is trying to use him against me.

I got to ditch the whole deal.

- The deal isn't closed?
- No.

Not until tomorrow.
I mean, the board votes on it.

Don't ditch the deal.

Leave Bonderman on.

I have an idea.

I'm taking the team out
for drinks tonight.

Come with us.

I'll probably just go home.

It's kind of more like
a team meeting.

You know, we'll probably
talk upcoming projects.

I wouldn't want to miss it
if I were you.

I could use a friend.

Okay, that's an awkward thing
to say, and we barely...

- But, yeah, I could.
- Of course.

Yes, I-I get it. What's up?

Something uncomfortable happened
with my team leader

On my first day.

I reported it to HR,

But she told me I either had
to suck it up or switch teams.

Switch teams.

Shit.

I love this work.

Plus, then, like,
I'm the one being punished

For the shit he did.
His misconduct.

I feel for you, I do.

And I...

I fucking relate.

The situation sucks.

But you chose Uber,
not the ACLU.

And we basically signed up

To work in the middle
of Mardi Gras.

We're not gonna show our tits
for a bunch of beads,

But, you know, there's nothing
we can do to stop the parade.

Oh.

What if I were to tell you

to not completely kill
the old build,

But to leave it working
underneath the new build?

And somehow, like,
make it undetectable.

You mean...

How would you do it?

Uh, I...

I would set up a geofence
around Apple HQ.

So anyone looking at Uber's app
from Cupertino

Won't be able to see
the privacy-violating code.

Mm-hmm.

It would look
something like this.

But outside the geofence?

We're still collecting
the user data.

Wow. That's a fucking good idea.

Do it.

Do it quickly and alone.

That is the build
we're resubmitting to Eddy Cue.

All right,
couple of announcements

Before we get
to scheduled matters.

Number one,
I fully expect our build

To be approved
by the App Store today.

We have made sure that there are
no violations of policy,

No intrusions of privacy.

None.

Privacy breaches
have been removed.

Not accessing cameras,
locations or contacts.

Good. As it should be.
Approved.

Excellent.

Yep, just got the news.

So if you want,
you can check your phones.

The build is live.
It should be on there.

Number two,
I am directing resources

Towards autonomous vehicles.

And I believe I've aligned on a
great engineer to head that up.

I just sent Google
my resignation letter.

My 20 best techs
are fucking leaving with me.

Fuck, yes, dude.
Okay...

We wait for the right time,
not too long.

Then we acquire you.

Larry and Sergey
are gonna shit themselves.

Larry and Sergey are gonna
shit themselves.

More on that later,

but I think it'll go a long way

To rendering our current
tipping discussion irrelevant.

Well, and we will have
that discussion.

Long way from ideating
to driverless cars.

To that end, uh...

the first real order
of business tonight

is a vote on bringing in TPG
as a Series C investor,

which will also allow
Mr. David Bonderman

A seat on the board.

TPG will also get
a second board seat

To be appointed
by Travis and me.

All in favor?

Yeah.

Welcome aboard, Bondo.

David, might you be thinking
about anyone in particular

For that second seat?

Oh, David and I,

We've already decided
on the second seat.

Why don't you meet
our newest board member.

David!

Lovely to see you again,
Arianna.

No one's smarter or more attuned
to the moods of the populace

At a given time.

It's like she's psychic.

Plus, this little girl
right here

Makes one mean
Greek omelet.

Hmm. I am thrilled
by Uber's potential

to make the world
a better place,

And to support Travis's vision
in doing it.

Thank you, Arianna.

So now I have full confidence
in this board's ability

To decide what's best
for Uber.

Should we, uh, have that vote
on tipping now, Billy?

Withdrawn.

House of Jealous Lovers

You aren't just a boss,
you are a motherfucking boss!

You did it!

Family business!

Settled!

Hey, yo, where's Gabi?

Um...

Fuck it.
Let's just go out.

Get some Ubers, let's go
to a club of the adult variety.

- Oh, Gold Club!
- Gold Club!

Tits on Travis!
Tits on Travis!

Tits on Travis! Tits on Travis!

Tits on Travis! Tits on Travis!
Tits on Travis!

Tits on Travis!
Tits on Travis!

Tits on Travis! Tits on Travis!

What the fuck?

Yeah, you get fucked up.

All right.

We can make it.

Ready?

Yo, man.

I know who you are.

I'm me, man.

Thanks for all you do,
brother.

Eddy? Eddy...

This is a screenshot
of their actual build.

Tim, you're not
gonna believe the shit

Uber's trying to pull.

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