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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:13,958 Did your brother say he was joining us for lunch? 2 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,325 Yeah. He said maybe. 3 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,234 - What is that? - What? 4 00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:24,936 - What is going on? - Do you feel that? 5 00:01:24,969 --> 00:01:26,204 I feel shaky. 6 00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:49,827 Headquarters. 7 00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:51,329 A what? 8 00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:12,049 Come in here. 9 00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:34,738 All right. How's that smoke? Good? All right. 10 00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:37,440 Here we go. Full tight on the monster. Rolling. 11 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:41,678 Is me being pulled in only that much to the table, it's fine? 12 00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:44,514 But the main thing is we need to hide your body more. 13 00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,961 Wee man! Whoa! Wee man! 14 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,870 Fucking look! Wee man, right there! 15 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:19,516 Ow! 16 00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,026 Oh! 17 00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:46,978 There! Fire! 18 00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:57,188 What? 19 00:03:57,221 --> 00:03:58,222 Whoo! 20 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,995 Fire this way! 21 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:10,935 Fire! Shoot it! 22 00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:21,138 Oh... settle down, big fella. 23 00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:24,241 This is all just a big misunderstanding. 24 00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,511 We can work this out like pals. 25 00:05:27,545 --> 00:05:30,147 Settle! Settle! Set... 26 00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:51,936 Oh, no! Oh, no! 27 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,185 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville! Welcome to jackass! 28 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:21,799 Hey. Steve-O, how does it feel to be on set 20 years later? 29 00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:24,201 Man, it's uh... 30 00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:28,906 It's pretty heavy, dude. 31 00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:32,642 You think about how the last movie had, like, the credits, 32 00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:36,013 which showed us when we first started and it was ten years later... 33 00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:38,883 - Yeah. - And now it's another ten years. 34 00:06:38,916 --> 00:06:40,451 I gotta say, I look great, though. 35 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,585 You look 20 millions... 36 00:06:41,619 --> 00:06:43,621 Yeah. 37 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,289 That's how my dogs jumped up on the... 38 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,925 The big one lays down and the little one gets on top there. 39 00:06:48,359 --> 00:06:49,426 Lance. 40 00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,432 Oh, my god! 41 00:06:55,466 --> 00:06:59,236 Yeah! Poopies! Poopies! 42 00:06:59,270 --> 00:07:00,971 That was really uncool. 43 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,773 Do you feel the vibration? 44 00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,776 - Wow! - Oh, shit! 45 00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:08,512 Hi, I'm Preston Lacy. This is a human ramp. 46 00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:13,484 That's Dave gravette. Come on, we gotta go. 47 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,652 Fuck, we gotta go. 48 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,719 Someone's being a little dramatic. 49 00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,523 Come on. Oh, my god, we gotta go. 50 00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:21,025 Here he goes. 51 00:07:21,058 --> 00:07:22,126 He's coming! 52 00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,228 - Here, watch this. - There he is. 53 00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,329 Brace yourselves. 54 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:28,432 Oh, my goodness! 55 00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:36,040 Oh, god! You all right? 56 00:07:36,073 --> 00:07:37,241 Yeah! 57 00:07:37,942 --> 00:07:38,976 Wow! 58 00:07:39,009 --> 00:07:41,045 You're not filming my bald spot are you? 59 00:07:41,078 --> 00:07:41,979 No, no, no. 60 00:07:42,012 --> 00:07:44,114 You all right? 61 00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:52,323 God damn it, is that why you put that camera...? 62 00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:58,762 No more bald spot! 63 00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:01,332 All right, here we go! 64 00:08:05,336 --> 00:08:06,370 Oh! 65 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,671 Shit! 66 00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,406 Oh, my... oh, what happened? 67 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,043 Oh, man, fuck this. I gotta just get up and walk this off. 68 00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:18,249 Yeah! 69 00:08:20,284 --> 00:08:21,385 Oh! 70 00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:24,188 Backfire! 71 00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,393 You look like the kool-aid man. 72 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:33,664 It's time to introduce Zach Holmes and say goodbye to the human ramp. 73 00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:35,065 Goodbye, human ramp! 74 00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,001 Oh, fuck! 75 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,436 We're gonna fuckin' die! 76 00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:40,471 Two, one... 77 00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,441 Whoa! 78 00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:46,477 Oh! 79 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,745 - All right! - Oh, my god. 80 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:48,846 Man falling. 81 00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,915 Holy shit! Yes! Fuck yes! 82 00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:54,251 - Oh, my god! - Oh, my god, yes! 83 00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:55,319 I'm so glad I put this... 84 00:08:55,352 --> 00:08:57,721 Oh! 85 00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:01,125 That was awesome. 86 00:09:03,694 --> 00:09:05,195 I don't think Preston's okay. 87 00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,798 Motherfucker! 88 00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,900 Oh, dude, my back. That hurt so bad. 89 00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:11,502 Oh, my god. 90 00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:12,803 Well done, Preston. 91 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,608 All right, my name's Johnny Knoxville. 92 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,043 Welcome to the dum dum game. 93 00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,978 Oh! I'm... I'm sorry, dude. 94 00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,680 Are you fucking kidding me? 95 00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:23,814 I... 96 00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:26,150 My hand hit the button! 97 00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:28,252 Oh, my god! 98 00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:29,553 Oh! 99 00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,021 Is that... 100 00:09:31,055 --> 00:09:32,056 Fuck! 101 00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:33,857 God! 102 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,259 Dick pain hurts. 103 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,495 All right, let's play this game. 104 00:09:38,529 --> 00:09:43,200 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to the dum dum game. 105 00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:46,904 Our lucky contestants are going to be answering trivia questions. 106 00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:49,173 All these questions are on a fourth-grade level. 107 00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:52,009 If you get them right, you're safe and in the clear, 108 00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,744 and if you get them wrong... 109 00:09:53,778 --> 00:09:55,479 Oh, boy! 110 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,748 Last man standing is the winner. 111 00:09:57,782 --> 00:10:00,984 Okay, first question. Poopies. 112 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,153 "Jenny has two plates of 12 cookies. 113 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,824 Frank has four plates of six cookies. 114 00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,591 Who has more cookies?" 115 00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:08,692 Jen! 116 00:10:08,726 --> 00:10:10,728 Jesus Christ! 117 00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:16,633 I can't do math! 118 00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,941 I'll remember that on my next question, poopies. 119 00:10:23,974 --> 00:10:25,374 - I won't... - Yeah, thanks, Johnny. 120 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,312 Dude! 121 00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:29,781 Okay, ehren! 122 00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:32,883 Please spell the word "dumbbell". 123 00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,718 "Dumbbell". 124 00:10:34,753 --> 00:10:36,220 D-u-m-b... 125 00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:41,592 What is it? 126 00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:44,328 D-u-m... 127 00:10:45,529 --> 00:10:47,231 B-e-i-i? 128 00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,002 Oh, god! 129 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,106 Sorry, that was wrong. 130 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:58,542 Don't be a dumbbell! 131 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:04,448 Poopies. Who played the piano on Elton John's album madman across the water? 132 00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:08,986 Um... 133 00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:11,488 What's his name? 134 00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:12,990 Elton. 135 00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:14,425 Elton John! 136 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,795 Oh, that is correct! 137 00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:19,663 That is correct, poopies. 138 00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:22,166 I didn't think you were gonna get that one. 139 00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:23,967 At last, see, you're doin' good! 140 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,270 - Yes! - Way to go! 141 00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:27,137 Fuck, yeah. 142 00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:28,505 Wee man, question: 143 00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:32,276 "What family of instruments does the piano belong to?" 144 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,279 S... 145 00:11:38,582 --> 00:11:39,716 Strings. 146 00:11:39,751 --> 00:11:40,895 It's a percussion instrument! 147 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,519 I was gonna say that! 148 00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,558 I'm sorry, wee man, but you're out. 149 00:11:47,591 --> 00:11:51,295 - All right. Good for me. - Some integrity on that. 150 00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:55,867 Poopies, if you get this next question wrong ehren, unfortunately, wins. 151 00:11:55,900 --> 00:12:00,137 "If a square is five inches tall and five inches wide, 152 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,272 what is the area?" 153 00:12:04,943 --> 00:12:08,445 Ten inches direct... around. 154 00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:10,681 I'm sorry, poopies, but that is wrong! 155 00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:21,759 Ehren, I'm sorry, I hit the wrong button. 156 00:12:24,294 --> 00:12:26,430 But poopies, that was wrong. 157 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,468 Fuck this shit. I'm outta here! Fuck it! 158 00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:35,439 - Ehren! Ehren is the winner! - Ehren won! 159 00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:36,673 Yeah! 160 00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:38,342 Ehren is the winner! 161 00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,462 Oh, yes! 162 00:13:08,806 --> 00:13:10,541 Oh, my god. 163 00:13:10,574 --> 00:13:12,010 Yeah, that rang my bell! 164 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,311 I took a huge shit in there too. 165 00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:17,015 - Oh, my... - Whoo! 166 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:21,019 So today we're gonna bring the cast into this room two at a time 167 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,420 because they think I'm doing a rattlesnake stunt. 168 00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:27,391 But that's just a ruse to get them in here so we can lock the door, 169 00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:30,160 turn out the lights, and make their life a living hell. 170 00:13:30,193 --> 00:13:32,797 This is silence of the lambs. 171 00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:37,267 Dave england, ehren mcghehey... 172 00:13:37,301 --> 00:13:40,404 - We have Jules here. Are you excited? - Jules, the snake guy. 173 00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:42,048 - I'm out. See you guys. - Come on, ehren! 174 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,274 You guys are just peanut gallery for this. 175 00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:45,986 He's got a western diamondback rattlesnake. 176 00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,387 He's going to release it on the ground. 177 00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,881 Pontius is gonna take a cookie and set in on its head. 178 00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:53,918 And then, I'm going to try and take the cookie off its head. 179 00:13:53,952 --> 00:13:57,789 This western diamondback rattlesnake is very, very venomous. 180 00:13:57,822 --> 00:14:01,224 He will bite you if you get too close to him and he will kill you, or try to. 181 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,293 - I'm not kidding. - Well, let's look at it. 182 00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:07,799 - Oh, my god! - Oh, shit! 183 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,500 Oh, my god. 184 00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:11,903 Fuck this, man. 185 00:14:14,304 --> 00:14:15,672 Can you feel my heart? 186 00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:18,977 - Wow, dude! - All right. 187 00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:20,812 It's going as fast as that rattlesnake. 188 00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,947 - That's why I won't do this. - I did your part. 189 00:14:22,981 --> 00:14:25,083 I'm really scared for Johnny right now. 190 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,160 All right. Let's put the snake away and get these guys mic'd. 191 00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:28,285 It's time to do this. 192 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:30,454 Big ass snake. 193 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:31,923 Oh, I know. 194 00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,123 All right, switch the bucket. 195 00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:34,625 Let's get the snake out of the room. 196 00:14:41,164 --> 00:14:42,599 Is there an "antidope" here? 197 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:45,335 It's getting Knoxville for me. 198 00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:48,072 That's what it's called, anti-venom, not "antidope". 199 00:14:48,106 --> 00:14:50,207 What's "antidope" mean? I don't even know. 200 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,209 - Johnny Knoxville. - They're coming in right now. 201 00:14:52,242 --> 00:14:53,282 All right. You guys ready? 202 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,846 What's "antidope"? 203 00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:56,814 That's like... 204 00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:57,949 Oh, my fucking god! 205 00:14:57,982 --> 00:14:59,182 - No! - No! 206 00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:02,754 - God damn! - Oh, fuck you guys! 207 00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:05,222 How... why are we the only ones in here now? 208 00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,758 I don't know, dude. 209 00:15:10,427 --> 00:15:12,329 - Doggone it! - What? 210 00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:14,731 - Shit! - Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville. 211 00:15:14,766 --> 00:15:16,433 Welcome to hell! 212 00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:18,936 Oh, fuck. Fucking rattlesnake in here. 213 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:21,251 Ehren, what are you doing? Don't use me as a human shield! 214 00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:23,107 So if we get bit we die. 215 00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:25,877 Are you serious? 216 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,478 This is so fucked up! I knew this was going to fucking happen. 217 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,380 Why the fuck did we go down to the basement? 218 00:15:30,882 --> 00:15:32,249 Come on! 219 00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:36,954 Knox, what the fuck? Come on. 220 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,325 Come on! 221 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,895 What the fuck! 222 00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:45,562 Dude, what the hell? 223 00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,674 - What the fuck! No, stop! - I knew this was going to happen! 224 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,968 Stop! Stop! Oh! Fuck, you guys, dude! 225 00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:54,438 P, where are you? 226 00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,909 I'm gonna break that fucking door down. 227 00:15:57,942 --> 00:15:58,943 Do it, ehren. 228 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,479 Did they just... 229 00:16:02,512 --> 00:16:05,449 Fuck this shit! Ah, fuck you guys! 230 00:16:07,752 --> 00:16:09,954 Fuck it, get the fuck outta here! 231 00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:12,824 All right, now go for the bucket and cue the snake sound. 232 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,626 Oh, shit! 233 00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:18,328 Ahh! 234 00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:20,098 - Oh, oh, shit. - Oh, my god! 235 00:16:20,131 --> 00:16:22,232 It might... Guys, stay on the couch. 236 00:16:22,265 --> 00:16:24,135 The fuckin' snake. Stay still. 237 00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,004 - Oh, my fucking god. - Hey, guys, honestly, be fuckin' chill. 238 00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:31,308 - Holy shit. - This is not cool, seriously, get me the fuck out of here. 239 00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:33,878 Oh, fuck off! 240 00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:35,378 There's the snake, Dave. 241 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,381 Where are you, ehren? Ehren? Ehren? 242 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,417 What the fuck! Ehren! 243 00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,352 How am I supposed to even help you, Dave? 244 00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:43,988 I just need to know you're there. 245 00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:47,491 - Fuck this! - Ehren! 246 00:16:47,524 --> 00:16:50,795 Oh, I got a weapon now, motherfuckers. I got a weapon. 247 00:16:50,828 --> 00:16:52,897 - Don't hit me, ehren. Ehren! - No, I got a weapon! 248 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,099 - Don't hit me! - You fuckin'... 249 00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,068 Ehren, don't fuckin' not answer me. 250 00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:58,401 They're knifin' me. 251 00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:03,440 Fuck, there's the door. Dave over here! 252 00:17:03,473 --> 00:17:05,109 - Dave, this way! - Yeah, right! 253 00:17:05,143 --> 00:17:06,486 - Dave, this way! - Fuck that door. 254 00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:07,855 Fuck that. There's something bad over there, probably! 255 00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:08,712 No, I promise! 256 00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:10,547 No, you don't know shit! 257 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,917 There's a door. I just opened it. I swear to god! 258 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,352 Oh, wow, how convenient. 259 00:17:15,385 --> 00:17:17,621 Come this way, I swear to god, I'm not lying to you. 260 00:17:17,654 --> 00:17:19,694 - Fuck that door. - You're on your own then, fucker! 261 00:17:19,723 --> 00:17:21,993 Ahh, shit! Ahh! 262 00:17:25,897 --> 00:17:26,964 Ehren! 263 00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:31,701 What the fuck is going on? 264 00:17:31,735 --> 00:17:34,571 I can't even... I can't even fucking do it. 265 00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:37,440 This is fucking scary. Seriously, this is fucked up. 266 00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:40,011 This is not cool, dude. 267 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,513 Fuck! What the fuck! His head! 268 00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:45,883 - Oh, my god! Fuck! Oh, fuck. - What? 269 00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,752 - Did I just get bit? - Did you get bit? 270 00:17:47,785 --> 00:17:49,887 Dude, I got bit by something! What the fuck was that? 271 00:17:49,921 --> 00:17:52,857 - Fuck! Jeff! He got fuckin' bit! - No way! 272 00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:56,260 - Jeff, this is fuckin' unsafe. - What the fuck, there's no lights! 273 00:17:56,294 --> 00:17:57,829 Oh, my god, dude, this is so fucked up. 274 00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:59,973 You got snake bit. We got to get you medical attention. 275 00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,265 Here. Come here. 276 00:18:01,299 --> 00:18:02,867 We got to get him to the fucking medic. 277 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,802 I'm gonna have a fuckin' heart attack, dude. 278 00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:07,872 Just, okay? Just go straight. 279 00:18:07,905 --> 00:18:09,240 - Okay? - Okay. 280 00:18:09,273 --> 00:18:12,375 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! 281 00:18:12,409 --> 00:18:14,078 Motherfucker! 282 00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:16,948 Oh, I don't even know where my glasses are. What the fuck! 283 00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,517 Oh, great! Fucking awesome! 284 00:18:24,322 --> 00:18:25,689 What the fuck is this? 285 00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:27,959 Ah! 286 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,928 Oh, holy shit! 287 00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:33,164 Motherfuckin... 288 00:18:36,399 --> 00:18:39,402 - Oh, my god! - Ow! Fucking bitch! 289 00:18:42,173 --> 00:18:44,175 Lights on. Lights on. Come on. 290 00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,675 Zach, you all right? 291 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,187 - Holy shit... - I cleared the fucking thing! 292 00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:49,847 I heard Zach, it sounded like he's getting murdered in here. 293 00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:53,117 I thought this was like the only way to get out. 294 00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,551 So I just climbed over it. 295 00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,920 And then, it broke. 296 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,289 Let ehren out. 297 00:18:58,322 --> 00:18:59,522 Let me out. 298 00:19:06,898 --> 00:19:09,276 - Can we go outside now? - No, we're done, we're done. We're done. 299 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,434 - No, we're not. - God. 300 00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:13,737 The rest of my life I'm gonna have nightmares, dude. 301 00:19:13,771 --> 00:19:16,307 I wanna go now. Open that fuckin' door. 302 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,875 Go out that one. This one is locked. 303 00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:18,976 No, fuck you! 304 00:19:20,111 --> 00:19:22,380 I'll start a new life in here. 305 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,048 I will start... 306 00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,816 I will fuckin' live here. 307 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,721 How does this look? 308 00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:34,524 It's fuckin'... lubed up. 309 00:19:34,557 --> 00:19:36,093 Are we sponsored by glide? 310 00:19:36,127 --> 00:19:37,494 No. Not yet. 311 00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:38,939 Just say, "this is body surfing", we don't need an intro. 312 00:19:38,963 --> 00:19:40,539 - Do you guys agree? - I wanna say my name. 313 00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:42,009 - All right, say your name. - This is Zach. 314 00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:44,501 I'm Jasper. And this is bodysurfing, motherfucker. 315 00:19:46,904 --> 00:19:47,905 Fuck, fuck! 316 00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:50,808 No, no, no! No, Jasper, no, no! 317 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,677 No! No! 318 00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:56,680 - Bye-bye, Jasper! - Oh, shit, he's hauling ass! 319 00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,787 - That was great. - The rocks hurt. 320 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,990 I am poopies. Big time movie star. 321 00:20:07,557 --> 00:20:10,194 And today, we're big wave surfing. 322 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:19,003 Oh, he got knocked off. 323 00:20:20,137 --> 00:20:21,339 He has no arms. 324 00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:23,140 - Dude, you have no arms? - Shit. 325 00:20:23,174 --> 00:20:24,342 Oh, that sucks. 326 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,143 And then came the heartbreaking news 327 00:20:26,177 --> 00:20:28,312 that horses don't have arms. 328 00:20:30,982 --> 00:20:33,483 I am Eric manaka, and this is a horse race. 329 00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:38,923 - Put your hat on and go, man. - My eyes! 330 00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,624 Oh, god. 331 00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:44,261 Run, run. 332 00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:45,963 Oh, Jesus Christ. 333 00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:50,234 - This is perfect. - Oh, god. 334 00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,802 Oh! Eric, all back. 335 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,872 Is he okay? He's not moving. 336 00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,974 Well, he can't. His arms are trapped. 337 00:20:59,243 --> 00:21:00,277 That fucking hurt. 338 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,848 Two, one, go! 339 00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,349 We're going the wrong way. 340 00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:06,417 We're going the wrong... 341 00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:08,052 Oh, Jesus Christ. 342 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:09,854 Oh, shit. 343 00:21:10,221 --> 00:21:12,655 Oh, my god. 344 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,058 Oh, he's nuts! 345 00:21:15,259 --> 00:21:16,726 Oh! 346 00:21:16,761 --> 00:21:18,229 Oh, my god. 347 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,133 - Holy shit! - Dude! 348 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,167 That's crazy. 349 00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:31,574 Oh, my god. I'm not doing that again. 350 00:21:31,608 --> 00:21:33,944 This guy's one badass dude right here. 351 00:21:33,978 --> 00:21:35,346 I love you, dude. 352 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,448 That is sick. 353 00:21:37,481 --> 00:21:39,250 You showed us how to surf. 354 00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:41,852 - Yeah. - Yeah. 355 00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:43,586 Dude, I don't look that good, man. 356 00:21:45,456 --> 00:21:48,225 Oh, shit. 357 00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,094 All right, take off the lid. 358 00:21:50,127 --> 00:21:52,496 Tap that right over the top of it. 359 00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:55,966 Ooh! Ow! One got me already! 360 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,035 Ah, ah! 361 00:21:58,069 --> 00:22:01,038 Ow! Gosh damn! 362 00:22:01,072 --> 00:22:03,007 Oh. Here comes the queen. 363 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,510 Oh, yeah. Looking for her king. 364 00:22:06,544 --> 00:22:09,646 Jesus Christ, dude. This is fucking wild. 365 00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:11,549 I was like, "yeah, cool, let's do this." 366 00:22:13,751 --> 00:22:17,455 This little brown box has the queen bee in it. 367 00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:20,458 Apparently, she's pretty important. 368 00:22:20,491 --> 00:22:23,761 And that's going to attract the other bees to the queen, right? 369 00:22:23,794 --> 00:22:25,763 - Yes. - Oh, boy. 370 00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:28,466 There's a lot of bees, Steve-O. 371 00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:32,269 Just remember, don't pinch between his balls and those bees, 'cause... 372 00:22:32,303 --> 00:22:33,904 He'll feel it real quickly. 373 00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:36,774 Dude, relax. Poopies relax, dog. Relax, man. 374 00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:38,641 Poopies just got stung. 375 00:22:39,676 --> 00:22:41,744 Can we add all the bees or is it better to go... 376 00:22:41,779 --> 00:22:43,848 You gotta kinda gently put 'em up. 377 00:22:44,714 --> 00:22:46,114 Watch out. Move your hands, Steve-O. 378 00:22:47,184 --> 00:22:48,219 Oh, shit. 379 00:22:48,252 --> 00:22:51,122 Ah. Aaaah! Ooooh! 380 00:22:51,155 --> 00:22:52,189 What? What? 381 00:22:52,223 --> 00:22:55,658 God, my fucking dick got one. Oooooh! 382 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,761 Oooooh! 383 00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:01,165 Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. 384 00:23:01,198 --> 00:23:03,267 Put 'em right up there on top of it. 385 00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:08,572 They're really latching on now, Steve-O. 386 00:23:08,606 --> 00:23:09,940 It's working, it's working. 387 00:23:09,974 --> 00:23:11,842 It's going good, Steve-O. 388 00:23:13,511 --> 00:23:15,312 Oh, boy, that... They're really... 389 00:23:15,346 --> 00:23:16,713 Oh, goddamn it. 390 00:23:18,616 --> 00:23:20,117 Give them a little bridge. 391 00:23:21,585 --> 00:23:23,154 There you go, find your mommy. 392 00:23:23,187 --> 00:23:25,523 There's a lot of them right in like the taint area. 393 00:23:28,893 --> 00:23:30,761 Your whole zen approach to staying calm 394 00:23:30,794 --> 00:23:32,429 is really working, Steve-O. 395 00:23:32,463 --> 00:23:34,298 That yoga's really been helping. 396 00:23:35,132 --> 00:23:36,133 Meditating. 397 00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:39,236 - Ooh! - Around the table. 398 00:23:39,270 --> 00:23:41,138 It's gonna make you look good, Steve-O. 399 00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:42,806 Yeah, it's adding length. 400 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,476 It's kinda like Mr. Snuffleupagus. Okay. 401 00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:48,312 Ow! Ow! 402 00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,713 Oooh. Oooh. 403 00:23:50,747 --> 00:23:53,784 - Are you good, o? - Ahhh! 404 00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:56,921 It moves when you move. 405 00:23:58,556 --> 00:24:00,624 It's wiggling. It's wiggling. 406 00:24:00,658 --> 00:24:03,360 - Wiggle! - The best thing to do is take off running, Steve-O. 407 00:24:03,394 --> 00:24:05,196 - Lay down, Steve-O. - Just take off running. 408 00:24:05,229 --> 00:24:09,400 Run, Steve-O. That's the only way the bees won't sting you. 409 00:24:14,171 --> 00:24:17,408 I got a fucking ballsack full of bee stingers, dude. 410 00:24:19,109 --> 00:24:20,945 Yeah, I got a fucking bunch of them. 411 00:24:20,978 --> 00:24:22,880 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh. 412 00:24:28,619 --> 00:24:30,720 Hello, my name is Irving zisman, 413 00:24:30,754 --> 00:24:32,722 and this is my good-for-nothing granddaughter 414 00:24:32,756 --> 00:24:36,026 and our not-so-handy handyman, Zach. 415 00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:38,495 Today we're gonna do a little furniture shopping. 416 00:24:44,802 --> 00:24:47,404 Hey, do you guys think this looks straight, or is it sorta, 417 00:24:47,438 --> 00:24:49,049 - it's like if it was... - I think you would have to... 418 00:24:49,073 --> 00:24:51,675 If you would hang the top left side, 419 00:24:51,709 --> 00:24:52,953 I could tell if it's straight or not 'cause... 420 00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,345 Oh, okay, for sure. 421 00:24:54,378 --> 00:24:55,813 Is everything on sale? 422 00:24:55,846 --> 00:24:58,515 Right now, I'm just doing the pillows. They're half price, but... 423 00:24:58,549 --> 00:25:01,352 - Oh, okay, thank you. - But I'm sure everything might be on sale. 424 00:25:01,385 --> 00:25:02,453 Okay. 425 00:25:05,522 --> 00:25:07,191 What is this over here? 426 00:25:10,561 --> 00:25:13,964 Oh. This is pretty good. 427 00:25:13,998 --> 00:25:17,101 A fella could have a pretty good time on this. 428 00:25:17,134 --> 00:25:19,570 Hey, can you hand me the black tape over there? 429 00:25:24,008 --> 00:25:25,509 Oh, my god. 430 00:25:27,478 --> 00:25:28,879 Oh, my god. 431 00:25:28,912 --> 00:25:30,514 What the hell happened? 432 00:25:30,547 --> 00:25:34,852 - Ow! - Are you okay? 433 00:25:34,885 --> 00:25:37,354 I went up high as a moose's caboose. 434 00:25:38,222 --> 00:25:39,923 Oh, my god. 435 00:25:39,957 --> 00:25:41,659 - Oh, my god. - Did you do that? 436 00:25:41,692 --> 00:25:45,362 I am so sorry. It's literally my second day on the job. I fell off. 437 00:25:45,396 --> 00:25:48,565 You tried to take advantage of a defenseless old man? 438 00:25:49,300 --> 00:25:51,001 Grandpa, are you okay? 439 00:25:51,035 --> 00:25:52,569 I was attacked. 440 00:25:52,603 --> 00:25:55,873 He went higher than that roof. He went all the way up in there. 441 00:25:55,906 --> 00:25:57,975 - What? - See this thing right here. 442 00:25:58,008 --> 00:26:03,080 Your grandfather just sat on it and laid back. This guy, he fell down, 443 00:26:03,113 --> 00:26:05,416 and he knocked your grandfather through the roof. 444 00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:08,018 Jesus, he does this shit all the time. 445 00:26:10,321 --> 00:26:13,490 I am Rob dyrdek, and this is musical chair bags. 446 00:26:13,524 --> 00:26:17,928 Incredible fine young men, new talent, war dogs. 447 00:26:17,961 --> 00:26:23,233 War dogs, new talent. One of them is about to get blown sky high. 448 00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,103 The rest are gonna get really lucky and just sit comfortably. 449 00:26:26,136 --> 00:26:29,373 Our dj for the day is miss Rachel wolfson. 450 00:26:29,406 --> 00:26:32,643 Wee man's going to space. 451 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:34,044 - Ah, shit. - Wow. 452 00:26:34,078 --> 00:26:36,013 Man, wee man. I am sorry, man. 453 00:26:36,046 --> 00:26:37,981 How many times do we get to play? 454 00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:41,485 - Oh, this is probably a one'r. - Oh, it is. 455 00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,822 Shit. 456 00:26:49,093 --> 00:26:51,061 I am loving the energy, fellas. 457 00:26:51,095 --> 00:26:54,565 - Keep it up, nice twirl. - The happiness. 458 00:26:56,567 --> 00:26:57,568 Oh, shit. Get in it. 459 00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:03,808 And let's keep going. 460 00:27:12,751 --> 00:27:14,418 Oh, find your chairs! 461 00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:18,956 One more time! 462 00:27:23,394 --> 00:27:25,396 What happened to the dance? 463 00:27:25,429 --> 00:27:29,533 - Just do it already. - Wee man is not happy. 464 00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:31,068 He's not happy. 465 00:27:31,101 --> 00:27:33,772 - Wee man, come on! - Put some spirit in it. 466 00:27:33,805 --> 00:27:35,472 - I'm spiriting it. - Yeah. 467 00:27:35,506 --> 00:27:36,673 Fuck it. 468 00:27:36,707 --> 00:27:38,275 Oh! 469 00:27:42,045 --> 00:27:43,380 Oh, my god. 470 00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,216 Holy fuck. 471 00:27:46,885 --> 00:27:48,753 Oh, god. 472 00:27:48,787 --> 00:27:51,321 - Oh, man. - What happened to you? 473 00:27:51,355 --> 00:27:55,459 I believe he shot up and into the hole. 474 00:27:55,492 --> 00:28:01,231 Wee man flipped. How did you go backwards? 475 00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:03,967 We have our champion. 476 00:28:04,001 --> 00:28:05,736 I landed on all that shit. 477 00:28:05,770 --> 00:28:08,505 Look at the safety precautions. 478 00:28:08,539 --> 00:28:12,276 I thought we were supposed to have pads on the tubes and the metal. 479 00:28:12,309 --> 00:28:13,677 We forgot that detail. 480 00:28:16,146 --> 00:28:18,649 Once upon a time, lived a father and son 481 00:28:18,682 --> 00:28:20,584 imprisoned on the island of crete. 482 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:23,720 Tired of life in the joint, the father had the son gather up feathers 483 00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:26,156 that were lying around the cell and he made them both wings. 484 00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:29,660 And they went off to escape the island of crete forever. 485 00:28:29,693 --> 00:28:33,497 But there's that one thing they left out of the ancient myth. 486 00:28:33,898 --> 00:28:35,232 The Cannon. 487 00:28:37,334 --> 00:28:41,505 Hello, I am Johnny Knoxville and this is the flight of icarus. 488 00:28:41,538 --> 00:28:44,308 And if you think we're wearing underpants under these tunics, 489 00:28:44,341 --> 00:28:46,677 you're sadly mistaken, my friend. 490 00:28:48,178 --> 00:28:50,247 Mmm, mmm. A little something for ya? 491 00:28:52,483 --> 00:28:53,984 They should just point it straight up. 492 00:28:54,017 --> 00:28:56,487 Either way it goes, he's gonna land in this lake. 493 00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:00,190 How big of an angle is it gonna be? 494 00:29:00,224 --> 00:29:02,927 Oh, god, they're going to make it bad. 495 00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:06,096 - Oh, god, I can't take it! - Shit, man. 496 00:29:06,129 --> 00:29:08,967 - Man, that's steep. - Holy shit, Knox. 497 00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:13,604 In ten, nine, eight, 498 00:29:13,637 --> 00:29:17,608 seven, six, five, four, 499 00:29:17,641 --> 00:29:21,645 three, two, one. Whooo! 500 00:29:22,045 --> 00:29:24,448 Yes! 501 00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:34,291 - I felt like I got a 200-pound colonic up my ass. - Oh, my god. 502 00:29:38,763 --> 00:29:41,665 You flew like an angel. 503 00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:44,468 Unfortunately, young icarus got a little bit cocky, 504 00:29:44,501 --> 00:29:46,871 and sure enough flew too close to the sun. 505 00:29:46,905 --> 00:29:48,773 And fell to his doom. 506 00:29:56,848 --> 00:29:58,549 Ooooh! 507 00:30:04,288 --> 00:30:06,590 - That was rad, dude. - There's blood on the elbows. 508 00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:07,892 Yeah, attaboy. 509 00:30:07,926 --> 00:30:10,394 Good job, man. Fucking right on, dude. 510 00:30:10,427 --> 00:30:11,896 - Your legs okay? - Yeah. 511 00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,730 Good job. 512 00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:17,734 This is the quiet game. 513 00:30:17,769 --> 00:30:23,041 The object of this game is to remain completely silent. How was that? 514 00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:27,177 Do we all understand the rules and we're not gonna make any noise? 515 00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:30,614 All right, well, let's get started. 516 00:30:30,647 --> 00:30:34,919 Rachel, your challenge in the quiet game is to lick the electric lollipop. 517 00:30:34,953 --> 00:30:36,486 Are you ready? 518 00:30:37,354 --> 00:30:39,289 Jesus. 519 00:30:46,764 --> 00:30:50,467 Whooooaaah! 520 00:30:51,168 --> 00:30:54,304 Our first mime did really well. 521 00:30:54,338 --> 00:30:56,808 - Oh, yeah. - Way to go. 522 00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:59,610 Yeah! 523 00:30:59,643 --> 00:31:02,579 - Bar's been set. You'll be hard to beat. - Damn! 524 00:31:04,581 --> 00:31:07,417 For our next challenge, our friend Jules here 525 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:10,520 is going to help poopies kiss this deadly viper. 526 00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:13,390 What kind of snake is it? 527 00:31:13,423 --> 00:31:15,359 It's a Texas rat snake. 528 00:31:15,392 --> 00:31:18,362 He's a feisty little bugger. How you feeling, poopies? 529 00:31:21,164 --> 00:31:22,733 Is that venomous? 530 00:31:22,767 --> 00:31:25,702 Eh. 531 00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:28,438 We ready? 532 00:31:30,607 --> 00:31:32,175 - Go, go, go. - Go in for the kiss. 533 00:31:32,209 --> 00:31:33,249 You have to get in closer. 534 00:31:33,276 --> 00:31:34,645 - Closer. - Closer, closer. 535 00:31:34,678 --> 00:31:37,581 Up and down, up and down. Up and down. 536 00:31:37,614 --> 00:31:39,884 You know you don't... You need to stay. Stay! 537 00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:41,251 Give him a kiss. 538 00:31:41,284 --> 00:31:42,486 - Move your head. - Closer. 539 00:31:42,519 --> 00:31:44,488 - Move your head. - Closer. 540 00:31:44,521 --> 00:31:45,890 Here it comes, here it comes. 541 00:31:45,923 --> 00:31:48,225 - Oh, my god. - One more. 542 00:31:48,258 --> 00:31:49,535 Get another one, get another one. 543 00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,461 - Go again. - We didn't get it. 544 00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:53,172 Come on, poopies, you need to go again, dude. 545 00:31:53,196 --> 00:31:55,332 Oh, my god. 546 00:31:55,365 --> 00:31:58,002 - Work, work. You got this. - You can do it. 547 00:31:58,036 --> 00:31:59,871 Right there. Touch his tail. 548 00:31:59,904 --> 00:32:01,438 Do it, come on, man. 549 00:32:01,471 --> 00:32:04,708 - Come on, man. - Oh, my goodness. 550 00:32:04,741 --> 00:32:05,843 A little kissy. 551 00:32:05,877 --> 00:32:06,978 Here it goes. 552 00:32:07,011 --> 00:32:09,646 Oh! 553 00:32:11,015 --> 00:32:13,051 Oh, my goodness. 554 00:32:13,084 --> 00:32:17,187 Rachel and poopies laying down the gauntlet on Steve-O. 555 00:32:18,056 --> 00:32:19,123 I gotta save you! 556 00:32:23,660 --> 00:32:24,996 I am saving you. 557 00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:29,000 I gotta save Jeff. 558 00:32:32,469 --> 00:32:35,940 Oh! Ow! 559 00:32:35,973 --> 00:32:37,274 Oh, fuck. 560 00:32:38,176 --> 00:32:39,509 I have one on me. 561 00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:41,112 I couldn't get it out. 562 00:32:42,379 --> 00:32:45,515 So, confidence is very, very high 563 00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:47,919 with our third contestant, Steve-O, 564 00:32:47,952 --> 00:32:50,253 for the skateboard guillotine. 565 00:32:53,124 --> 00:32:54,992 Wow. 566 00:32:55,026 --> 00:32:56,259 He's talking smack. 567 00:32:56,293 --> 00:32:58,029 Some mime shit talking over there. 568 00:33:01,732 --> 00:33:02,733 Huh? 569 00:33:03,201 --> 00:33:04,401 All the way. 570 00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:07,905 All the way? 571 00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,746 - He's bold. - Wow. 572 00:33:15,780 --> 00:33:18,281 - He's very cocky, this guy. - Get your feet up. 573 00:33:18,315 --> 00:33:20,952 All right, on three! 574 00:33:21,886 --> 00:33:23,154 Aaaaah! 575 00:33:27,591 --> 00:33:30,762 I forgot to be fucking quiet, dude. 576 00:33:30,795 --> 00:33:32,562 Aaaaah! 577 00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:36,600 Well, we have our winners, and we have Steve-O. 578 00:33:42,739 --> 00:33:45,877 Zackass, he's a real wild, crazy guy. 579 00:33:45,910 --> 00:33:48,445 He's a gnarly superstar. 580 00:33:48,478 --> 00:33:50,580 Zackass. 581 00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:54,252 There's nothing he won't do. Zackass. 582 00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:56,386 He'll jump in cactus for you. 583 00:33:56,419 --> 00:33:59,422 Oh! 584 00:34:01,358 --> 00:34:04,862 While we all stand and laugh. Go, go, Zach! 585 00:34:06,596 --> 00:34:08,665 The jackass guys are getting old, we paid our dues, 586 00:34:08,698 --> 00:34:10,734 so we're handing the torch to you. 587 00:34:12,904 --> 00:34:14,071 All right. 588 00:34:16,373 --> 00:34:17,574 Man, that was good. 589 00:34:22,512 --> 00:34:24,081 What are you going to be doing today? 590 00:34:24,949 --> 00:34:27,885 Hit somebody in the nuts. 591 00:34:27,919 --> 00:34:32,622 Francis hits harder than any heavyweight in the MMA. It's insane. 592 00:34:32,656 --> 00:34:33,991 Does ehren know this? 593 00:34:34,025 --> 00:34:36,961 No, I told ehren it was a lightweight. 594 00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:40,397 I didn't tell him it was a heavyweight. Jeff and I forgot to mention that. 595 00:34:42,834 --> 00:34:44,534 All right, he's coming, guys. 596 00:34:47,370 --> 00:34:52,176 That's not a fucking lightweight. What are you guys talking about? What? No! 597 00:34:52,210 --> 00:34:56,013 What's going on here? You guys can't... 598 00:34:56,047 --> 00:35:00,383 Almost 20 years ago today we filmed the original cup test. 599 00:35:00,417 --> 00:35:03,453 Hi, I am Johnny Knoxville, and this is the cup test. 600 00:35:03,486 --> 00:35:05,056 Oh! 601 00:35:05,089 --> 00:35:06,690 Oh! 602 00:35:06,723 --> 00:35:08,292 Oh! 603 00:35:08,326 --> 00:35:13,463 And now, 20 years later, we're still doing the same stupid shit. 604 00:35:13,496 --> 00:35:15,498 This is the cup test. 605 00:35:16,968 --> 00:35:18,735 Ah! 606 00:35:18,769 --> 00:35:20,670 I love how you're just smiling at him. 607 00:35:24,474 --> 00:35:27,778 I just googled the hardest punch ever recorded. 608 00:35:27,812 --> 00:35:29,379 Francis ngannou's punch is 609 00:35:29,412 --> 00:35:33,818 the equivalent of being hit by a Ford escort at top speed. 610 00:35:33,851 --> 00:35:38,022 - His punch is the equivalent... - Wait. You don't need to read that now. 611 00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:43,895 You're about to be hit by a car, ehren. 612 00:35:45,129 --> 00:35:46,396 All right, fight fans. 613 00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:51,701 Oh! 614 00:35:56,573 --> 00:36:04,115 - Did you hear something break? - Yeah, I heard this crack. I thought it was the cup. 615 00:36:04,148 --> 00:36:06,650 Is that the hardest you've ever hit someone in the ding ding? 616 00:36:06,683 --> 00:36:12,522 Oh, yeah. Because I've never hit somebody in the ding ding on purpose. 617 00:36:13,723 --> 00:36:15,293 Eric, what's about to go down here? 618 00:36:15,326 --> 00:36:19,797 Ehren's gonna get the world's fastest softball pitcher. 619 00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:22,133 She's gonna like, pitch a softball at his balls. 620 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,304 Oh! 621 00:36:26,337 --> 00:36:29,739 We ain't a fucking bunch of NASA scientists over here, you know what I mean? 622 00:36:29,774 --> 00:36:32,676 This ain't a mensa convention. We're getting down and dirty! 623 00:36:32,709 --> 00:36:35,745 I am danger ehren, and this is the softball test. 624 00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:36,914 Let's do it. 625 00:36:36,948 --> 00:36:38,149 Play ball! 626 00:36:40,351 --> 00:36:42,552 She can't wait to hit him in the dick. 627 00:36:46,324 --> 00:36:48,159 Oh! 628 00:36:48,192 --> 00:36:49,726 That was all thigh. 629 00:36:50,727 --> 00:36:52,863 Don't turn! That would have hit him! 630 00:36:52,897 --> 00:36:54,231 You turned into... 631 00:36:54,265 --> 00:36:56,334 What, you can't quit already! 632 00:36:56,367 --> 00:36:57,734 That would have hit him! 633 00:36:57,768 --> 00:36:59,046 That would have hit you in the ding-ding 634 00:36:59,070 --> 00:37:00,905 and you would have been done for the day. 635 00:37:00,938 --> 00:37:01,973 It's a softball. 636 00:37:02,006 --> 00:37:04,241 There's nothing soft about this fucking ball, 637 00:37:04,275 --> 00:37:05,475 it's just bigger. 638 00:37:11,248 --> 00:37:14,285 She keeps hitting him in the same exact spot. 639 00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,988 - You're moving, dude! - Why'd you move? 640 00:37:17,021 --> 00:37:18,122 I don't know! 641 00:37:20,958 --> 00:37:22,235 Don't hang brains out of the side... 642 00:37:22,259 --> 00:37:25,562 I'm not trying to, but it keeps slipping around. 643 00:37:25,595 --> 00:37:27,765 Well, you're wearing it backwards, or upside-down. 644 00:37:27,798 --> 00:37:30,301 I don't need physics from you guys right now. 645 00:37:30,334 --> 00:37:32,635 Physics. 646 00:37:37,274 --> 00:37:38,776 Fuck, yeah! Let's go! 647 00:37:39,509 --> 00:37:40,845 Oh, god! 648 00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:46,549 Ehren! 649 00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,285 What the fuck, dude! 650 00:37:49,286 --> 00:37:50,720 No, no, no, time out! 651 00:37:50,755 --> 00:37:54,025 Hey, ehren, no joke, you're fucked. 652 00:37:54,058 --> 00:37:55,059 You're done. 653 00:37:56,927 --> 00:37:59,696 I'm here with professional hockey player p.K. Subban. 654 00:37:59,729 --> 00:38:01,932 This is the hockey cup test. 655 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,836 Yeah! 656 00:38:06,937 --> 00:38:08,005 Come on! 657 00:38:23,586 --> 00:38:25,356 That was about 85 miles per hour. 658 00:38:25,389 --> 00:38:27,958 Oh, shit, man. That fucking knocked me out. 659 00:38:28,793 --> 00:38:31,694 What the fuck, man. That was insane. 660 00:38:31,728 --> 00:38:33,464 Now I'm gonna go for your nuts. 661 00:38:33,497 --> 00:38:34,697 Oh, god. 662 00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:37,768 Fuck you, ehren! 663 00:38:50,448 --> 00:38:51,748 We got him! 664 00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,583 That a boy! 665 00:38:57,188 --> 00:39:01,125 We got the "whambulance" coming for you if you don't get to this next bit. 666 00:39:01,158 --> 00:39:04,295 Hey, I'll tell you right now, if the jokes continue 667 00:39:04,328 --> 00:39:05,896 I will stand up and walk away. 668 00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:08,099 He's going to take his nuts and go home? 669 00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:16,240 - Sneak up on it. - Teasing. He's teasing. 670 00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:19,609 Whoa! 671 00:39:22,179 --> 00:39:23,447 Perfect! 672 00:39:23,481 --> 00:39:25,249 - Oh! - Oh, my goodness. 673 00:39:29,652 --> 00:39:30,921 Oh, dude! 674 00:39:31,755 --> 00:39:34,825 His nuts are bleeding. We got blood. 675 00:39:34,859 --> 00:39:37,161 Dude. I'm sorry, dude. 676 00:39:37,194 --> 00:39:39,396 Fuck, this cup sucked. 677 00:39:40,931 --> 00:39:43,901 This is the worst cup of them all. 678 00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:46,303 I'm starting to think those cups don't work, dude. 679 00:39:48,205 --> 00:39:50,107 That cup sucks. 680 00:39:50,141 --> 00:39:52,610 Yeah, it slipped down and pinned your nuts to the ground. 681 00:39:52,642 --> 00:39:54,879 Oh, my god! 682 00:39:55,745 --> 00:39:57,314 Fuck, dude. 683 00:39:58,115 --> 00:40:00,084 Oh. Ooh! 684 00:40:00,117 --> 00:40:02,453 Lance? 685 00:40:02,486 --> 00:40:03,720 How you doing, Lance? 686 00:40:06,790 --> 00:40:08,325 Let me have your camera, Lance. 687 00:40:12,296 --> 00:40:14,465 Can I get another mask? 688 00:40:14,498 --> 00:40:16,367 Can Lance get another mask? 689 00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:22,206 You guys got any predictions who we might get today with this? 690 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,775 I'm worried, like we've been hitting the guys 691 00:40:24,808 --> 00:40:26,443 pretty hard all week so... 692 00:40:27,912 --> 00:40:30,414 Their nerves are pretty well shot. 693 00:40:30,447 --> 00:40:33,683 If they do trust us to go to the bathroom today, 694 00:40:33,716 --> 00:40:34,919 they're pretty... 695 00:40:36,287 --> 00:40:39,990 They're pretty less intelligent than I thought. 696 00:40:40,024 --> 00:40:41,926 We're gonna build cobra Kai dojos 697 00:40:41,959 --> 00:40:43,761 - all over this valley. - Hell yeah, we are. 698 00:40:43,794 --> 00:40:46,363 - I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen... - I'm gonna watch it. 699 00:40:46,397 --> 00:40:47,631 Miyagi, miyagi's dojo... 700 00:40:47,665 --> 00:40:49,633 Wee man would totally be a cobra Kai. 701 00:40:49,667 --> 00:40:52,236 He's not even worried about it. 702 00:40:52,269 --> 00:40:53,771 Cobra Kai rules. 703 00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:00,578 Oh, yeah! 704 00:41:08,185 --> 00:41:09,887 - Oh. - Wow! 705 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,923 - What happened? - I don't know, dude. 706 00:41:12,957 --> 00:41:15,593 - Oh, my god. - I was trying to take a shit. 707 00:41:17,294 --> 00:41:20,197 Even with an outbreak you're still blowing people up. 708 00:41:21,432 --> 00:41:23,133 As if life is not hard enough. 709 00:41:27,004 --> 00:41:29,907 To fart or not to fart. That is the question. 710 00:41:29,940 --> 00:41:32,276 Well, I hope to... 711 00:41:32,309 --> 00:41:35,913 'Cause we've been trying to get this bit for 14 years, 712 00:41:35,946 --> 00:41:37,948 trying to light a fart underwater. 713 00:41:38,616 --> 00:41:40,651 Since jackass number two. 714 00:41:40,684 --> 00:41:42,486 Get your fucking ass up there. 715 00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:44,021 Just let me do it, okay? 716 00:41:51,595 --> 00:41:54,131 Oh, god. I didn't mean to do that. 717 00:41:54,164 --> 00:41:56,267 Who didn't see that coming? 718 00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:59,403 I'm very excited because we are lighting 719 00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:01,972 the first ever fart underwater. 720 00:42:02,006 --> 00:42:04,108 And Tory belleci is here today 721 00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:05,843 to help us achieve our dream. 722 00:42:05,876 --> 00:42:07,845 It's good to have dreams. 723 00:42:07,878 --> 00:42:10,447 All right, so, somebody is going to sit in the tank 724 00:42:10,481 --> 00:42:11,882 and when they fart, 725 00:42:11,915 --> 00:42:14,885 that glass dome is our fart catcher, inside there, 726 00:42:14,918 --> 00:42:17,888 we have a little bit of oxygen and a spark. 727 00:42:17,921 --> 00:42:19,690 And so hopefully, once that methane gas 728 00:42:19,723 --> 00:42:21,825 gets caught in there, it will ignite, 729 00:42:21,859 --> 00:42:25,396 and we'll get the underwater exploding fart. 730 00:42:25,429 --> 00:42:27,374 - Yo, Steve-O, are you ready? - You ready to make history? 731 00:42:27,398 --> 00:42:29,342 I'm ready to get in there and just see what happens. 732 00:42:29,366 --> 00:42:31,702 Oh, my goodness, we're about to make history 733 00:42:31,735 --> 00:42:32,870 with Steve-O. 734 00:42:32,903 --> 00:42:36,507 Okay, make sure his feet look good. 735 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:38,275 - Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. 736 00:42:38,309 --> 00:42:40,744 - It's in there, man. - Remember to give us a countdown. 737 00:42:40,779 --> 00:42:41,979 It's in there. 738 00:42:42,713 --> 00:42:44,515 How was work today, honey? 739 00:42:50,187 --> 00:42:51,588 I know I'm gonna get it. 740 00:42:51,622 --> 00:42:52,656 Just relax. 741 00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:54,759 Ooooh! 742 00:42:54,793 --> 00:42:56,226 We got a fart! 743 00:42:57,928 --> 00:43:01,098 Oh, that was a huge one. 744 00:43:01,131 --> 00:43:03,209 - Wow. They're like ten, dude. - They're perfect bombs. 745 00:43:03,233 --> 00:43:05,936 There's not enough methane in his fart. 746 00:43:05,969 --> 00:43:08,105 The spark in that bowl is going nonstop though, 747 00:43:08,138 --> 00:43:10,240 so we just need to catch enough farts. 748 00:43:11,308 --> 00:43:12,811 Oooh! 749 00:43:12,843 --> 00:43:14,211 The farts aren't igniting. 750 00:43:14,244 --> 00:43:16,880 - We need an open flame. - Yeah, bring it in. 751 00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,187 This won't hurt a bit. 752 00:43:31,261 --> 00:43:32,329 Come on, o. 753 00:43:35,733 --> 00:43:36,801 There it goes. Catch it. 754 00:43:36,835 --> 00:43:38,535 Yeah. Get it. Get it! 755 00:43:45,743 --> 00:43:48,645 What was that? Was that it? Was that it? 756 00:43:49,246 --> 00:43:50,147 - Yes! - Dude! 757 00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:52,049 I'm not a fucking scientist, man, 758 00:43:52,082 --> 00:43:54,084 but that sounded pretty sweet. 759 00:43:55,953 --> 00:43:57,187 How did that explode? 760 00:43:57,221 --> 00:43:59,423 The spark in the fart catcher exploded it. 761 00:44:01,458 --> 00:44:04,595 That fucking really rocked my balls. That's for sure. 762 00:44:08,499 --> 00:44:09,900 All right, jaws, you ready? 763 00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:11,502 Three. 764 00:44:12,503 --> 00:44:13,570 Two. 765 00:44:15,105 --> 00:44:16,340 One. 766 00:44:21,712 --> 00:44:23,414 - Jesus Christ! - I got you. 767 00:44:23,447 --> 00:44:25,215 What the fuck! 768 00:44:25,249 --> 00:44:26,785 Dude, I was like, "catch him." 769 00:44:29,119 --> 00:44:30,587 - Wow. - Are you okay? 770 00:44:30,621 --> 00:44:31,756 - Yeah. - Yeah? 771 00:44:31,790 --> 00:44:33,724 Dude... where were you? 772 00:44:33,758 --> 00:44:35,092 I'm just... I... 773 00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,927 Where were you? 774 00:44:39,329 --> 00:44:40,697 What's going on, Jasper? 775 00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:43,367 So today we got my dad, dark shark on set and honestly 776 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,569 - I don't think he's gonna like it. - Why not? 777 00:44:45,602 --> 00:44:48,472 So you know my dad, ex-convict, ex-gang banger, 778 00:44:48,505 --> 00:44:50,507 doesn't fear anything except for like, 779 00:44:50,541 --> 00:44:53,143 he kinda doesn't like bugs or spiders, 780 00:44:53,177 --> 00:44:55,746 cats, dogs, basically anything that's not normal to the hood. 781 00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:57,181 So we're gonna fuck with him today 782 00:44:57,214 --> 00:44:59,216 and it should be good. 783 00:44:59,249 --> 00:45:03,654 All right, this is dark shark, our newest star, Jasper's dad. 784 00:45:03,687 --> 00:45:06,957 He's going to battle ehren in the spider helmet. 785 00:45:06,990 --> 00:45:10,093 You look scareder than me and this is your shit. 786 00:45:10,127 --> 00:45:11,728 Shall we begin taping, fellas? 787 00:45:11,763 --> 00:45:14,140 I'm gonna fuck you up, man. You supposed to be having my back. 788 00:45:14,164 --> 00:45:16,400 - Not too tight. - I got you a job! 789 00:45:16,433 --> 00:45:18,711 Don't do it. I'm telling you. I'm gonna flip this chair over. 790 00:45:18,735 --> 00:45:20,070 I got you a job! 791 00:45:20,103 --> 00:45:21,681 If I flip the chair over, that thing gonna bite me 792 00:45:21,705 --> 00:45:23,006 - if I flip the chair over? - No. 793 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,975 No, you gotta be careful with the spider. 794 00:45:25,008 --> 00:45:27,020 - Can't hurt the spider. - I'm just worried about breathing, man. 795 00:45:27,044 --> 00:45:28,847 I don't even like handcuffs on me no more. 796 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,056 Dude, I don't think we gotta... 797 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,748 Okay. We're gonna leave the tape. 798 00:45:31,783 --> 00:45:32,951 You got it, dog. 799 00:45:32,983 --> 00:45:35,385 All right, here we go, fellas. 800 00:45:36,687 --> 00:45:38,823 - How is that? - Oh shit, hell, nah. 801 00:45:38,857 --> 00:45:41,225 Okay. Oh, and by the way, the loser has to take 802 00:45:41,258 --> 00:45:43,060 - the bite from the spider. - What? 803 00:45:43,093 --> 00:45:44,695 Yeah. 804 00:45:44,728 --> 00:45:47,531 - Jules, can you bring in the spider? - Love to. 805 00:45:47,564 --> 00:45:49,801 You got it, dark shark. You got it, man. 806 00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,102 This one is an absolute bastard. 807 00:45:52,135 --> 00:45:53,704 Oh, hell, nah. 808 00:45:53,737 --> 00:45:56,173 All right. Let's go. 809 00:45:56,206 --> 00:45:58,575 On the count of three. One, two, three. 810 00:46:05,817 --> 00:46:07,651 Don't move, dark shark. 811 00:46:09,052 --> 00:46:10,822 Dark shark, stay down. 812 00:46:14,591 --> 00:46:16,159 Oh, shit! 813 00:46:16,928 --> 00:46:18,462 Chill, chill, chill! 814 00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:22,399 You got it, chill! 815 00:46:24,601 --> 00:46:26,136 It's not goin' touch you. 816 00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:31,041 Ow! Ow! 817 00:46:36,346 --> 00:46:39,249 Dark shark, why are you pulling on me? 818 00:46:39,283 --> 00:46:40,417 I think he passed out. 819 00:46:40,450 --> 00:46:42,519 Dark shark, you gotta let go! 820 00:46:42,553 --> 00:46:46,089 - You gotta let go! Sit down. Calm down. - There you go. 821 00:46:46,123 --> 00:46:48,392 - Oh, my god. - Don't hurt the spider. 822 00:46:48,425 --> 00:46:50,962 Dark shark, if you let go of me I will get the spider out. 823 00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:53,130 - Who is that? - It's Johnny. 824 00:46:53,163 --> 00:46:55,265 - There you go. - We all day. Guess what? 825 00:46:55,299 --> 00:46:57,134 Okay, I'll get it. 826 00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:58,535 I'm gonna pull him out. 827 00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:02,172 - He's out, he's out, he's out. - He's out! 828 00:47:02,874 --> 00:47:06,076 All right, we have our winner. 829 00:47:06,109 --> 00:47:08,245 Dark shark! 830 00:47:08,278 --> 00:47:10,714 How the fuck is he gonna be the winner? 831 00:47:10,747 --> 00:47:12,082 - Oh, no. - Get it off me. 832 00:47:12,115 --> 00:47:13,483 How is he the winner? 833 00:47:13,517 --> 00:47:15,218 Ehren has to take a bite from the spider. 834 00:47:15,252 --> 00:47:17,454 - I didn't do anything. Jesus. - This man was brave. 835 00:47:17,487 --> 00:47:21,926 - Brave? The spider went in his helmet! - Great job, dark shark. 836 00:47:25,596 --> 00:47:27,598 And I was like, it was either my life or yours. 837 00:47:27,631 --> 00:47:30,334 I was like, fuck your life. I was like, man. 838 00:47:30,367 --> 00:47:32,736 I'm tapped out, out here and still I was like, 839 00:47:32,770 --> 00:47:34,237 I feel like grabbing his ass. 840 00:47:34,271 --> 00:47:35,873 The bastard. 841 00:47:35,907 --> 00:47:37,474 So where should it bite him? 842 00:47:37,507 --> 00:47:39,576 Just do it on my arm. It's fine. 843 00:47:39,610 --> 00:47:41,879 - Well... - Have it crawl onto my arm. 844 00:47:41,913 --> 00:47:43,180 - Nipples! - I just won't do it. 845 00:47:43,213 --> 00:47:45,716 Nipple. I like nipple. Nipple. 846 00:47:45,749 --> 00:47:47,651 Just give it, just do a boob. 847 00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:48,886 All right. Fine. 848 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,322 Nipple, no. Boob, sure. 849 00:47:53,724 --> 00:47:55,659 Is he gonna bite him for real? 850 00:47:55,692 --> 00:47:58,763 - Oh, my god. - Oh, yeah, your man titties are looking dope. 851 00:47:58,796 --> 00:47:59,897 Oh, man. 852 00:47:59,931 --> 00:48:01,966 Oh, my god. Look at his fangs. 853 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,433 I don't wanna see the fangs. 854 00:48:03,467 --> 00:48:05,135 Make sure ehren sees the fangs. 855 00:48:05,168 --> 00:48:06,536 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! 856 00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:09,040 No, you, no. Ehren lay down. 857 00:48:09,073 --> 00:48:11,042 - Wait a minute. - Oh, look at the venom! 858 00:48:11,075 --> 00:48:13,020 - I'll show you the venom while it's there. - Yeah. 859 00:48:13,044 --> 00:48:14,611 Oh, my god. 860 00:48:14,645 --> 00:48:16,513 Here, hold my hand, Steve-O. Hold my hand. 861 00:48:16,546 --> 00:48:19,282 - Hold my hand, Steve-O. - Hold his hand, Steve-O. 862 00:48:19,316 --> 00:48:22,686 - Pierce that nipple. - One, two, three. 863 00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:25,656 Shit! 864 00:48:28,325 --> 00:48:30,895 - Oh, shit! - Stay, stay. 865 00:48:30,928 --> 00:48:32,162 Did it go in or no? 866 00:48:32,195 --> 00:48:33,765 - Oh, yeah. - Fuckin' went in. 867 00:48:33,798 --> 00:48:36,366 You went from a triple a to a b on this side. 868 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,201 Yeah, ehren. 869 00:48:39,269 --> 00:48:41,471 Watch out, ehren! 870 00:48:41,505 --> 00:48:43,407 Oh, my god, I thought it was the real thing. 871 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,308 I'm done! I'm done! I can't. 872 00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:46,978 I'm outta here. 873 00:48:47,011 --> 00:48:48,880 No more of this spider crap. I'm out. 874 00:48:56,788 --> 00:48:58,255 Excuse me, ma'am? 875 00:48:58,288 --> 00:49:01,258 I need to get my basket closer to this pole. 876 00:49:01,291 --> 00:49:02,726 Do you think you can help me, ma'am? 877 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:07,065 - Sure. - There's a red handle at the back of this truck. 878 00:49:07,098 --> 00:49:08,900 It's more of a pinky orange. 879 00:49:08,933 --> 00:49:11,936 - This one? - Yeah, just pull back on it just a little. 880 00:49:11,969 --> 00:49:13,838 Wait, should I do reverse? 881 00:49:13,871 --> 00:49:16,074 Yeah, do the reverse. 882 00:49:16,107 --> 00:49:18,475 Yeah, no, no! Oh, that was... noooo! 883 00:49:18,508 --> 00:49:20,210 Oh, why did you hit the red one? 884 00:49:20,243 --> 00:49:22,046 Ow! Ow! 885 00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,114 Help! 886 00:49:23,147 --> 00:49:24,849 - Help! - Help me! 887 00:49:24,882 --> 00:49:26,349 Hit the lever! Hit the lever! 888 00:49:26,383 --> 00:49:27,952 Hit the blue! Hit the override! 889 00:49:27,985 --> 00:49:29,821 I don't know where the blue is? 890 00:49:29,854 --> 00:49:31,122 Are you color blind? 891 00:49:31,155 --> 00:49:34,125 - Please, help me! - I'm trying to help you, sir! 892 00:49:34,158 --> 00:49:36,226 Just do the override like it says! 893 00:49:36,259 --> 00:49:38,162 It doesn't say shit here! 894 00:49:38,196 --> 00:49:40,798 Pop to the right, then slide! 895 00:49:40,832 --> 00:49:42,399 Pop and slide! 896 00:49:44,534 --> 00:49:46,737 You just got me electrocuted! 897 00:49:46,771 --> 00:49:49,040 Oh, my ass! 898 00:49:49,073 --> 00:49:51,675 - You forgot the slide. - God, bless! 899 00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:53,878 I don't want to touch anything because I don't know... 900 00:49:53,911 --> 00:49:56,580 You gotta touch something! I gotta get down from here! 901 00:49:56,613 --> 00:49:59,349 - Which one? - Well, don't hit the ones you been hitting! 902 00:49:59,382 --> 00:50:01,618 'Cause you've been hitting the wrong ones! 903 00:50:01,651 --> 00:50:04,654 - I don't know what I'm doing. - Well, clearly! 904 00:50:06,289 --> 00:50:08,793 Did you see dirty dancing? 905 00:50:08,826 --> 00:50:11,495 No. The old one, you mean with the chair? 906 00:50:11,528 --> 00:50:12,897 - The only one. - Yeah. 907 00:50:12,930 --> 00:50:13,965 Yeah. 908 00:50:13,998 --> 00:50:15,066 That's flashdance. 909 00:50:15,099 --> 00:50:16,500 Oh, flashdance is what I'm thinking. 910 00:50:16,533 --> 00:50:18,544 Dirty dancing with Jennifer grey and Patrick Swayze. 911 00:50:18,568 --> 00:50:21,505 For the final dance she runs at them. 912 00:50:21,538 --> 00:50:23,007 She runs to Patrick Swayze 913 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,676 - and he catches her and he lifts her off the ground. - Okay. 914 00:50:26,710 --> 00:50:28,989 - Can you do that with Preston? - I think I could do it with Preston. 915 00:50:29,013 --> 00:50:32,282 Yeah, work it out a little bit. I want more than just a big jump. 916 00:50:35,987 --> 00:50:38,555 Oh, my god. I just shit my pants. 917 00:50:38,588 --> 00:50:41,525 - Shut up. - You're joking, right? 918 00:50:42,559 --> 00:50:44,594 Did you really? 919 00:50:44,628 --> 00:50:47,765 I just shit my pants. I just shit my fucking pants. 920 00:50:47,799 --> 00:50:50,433 - He did. He really did. - I just shit my pants. 921 00:50:50,467 --> 00:50:51,969 I fucking shit my pants. 922 00:50:52,003 --> 00:50:53,503 - Why did you? - Oh, my god. 923 00:50:53,537 --> 00:50:55,672 - Why did you shit your... - I didn't mean to. 924 00:50:56,673 --> 00:50:57,809 Oh, man. 925 00:50:58,776 --> 00:51:00,477 Technically, you shit our pants. 926 00:51:00,510 --> 00:51:03,915 The show must go on. I don't see how that stops this. 927 00:51:03,948 --> 00:51:06,150 Let's go on. 928 00:51:06,184 --> 00:51:07,651 Ah, it's so gross. 929 00:51:07,684 --> 00:51:10,520 - Ah, dude. - It's so fucking gross. 930 00:51:10,554 --> 00:51:14,724 You're full of shit. 931 00:51:14,759 --> 00:51:17,727 I should not have ate Indian and Cuban food in the same day. 932 00:51:19,496 --> 00:51:23,000 We might be losing Lance again. 933 00:51:26,237 --> 00:51:27,437 Oh, my goodness. 934 00:51:27,470 --> 00:51:28,973 Oh, yuck. 935 00:51:29,841 --> 00:51:31,809 Oh, my god! 936 00:51:32,342 --> 00:51:34,344 I'm a grown man. 937 00:51:34,377 --> 00:51:36,413 I'm fucking 51 years old. 938 00:51:36,446 --> 00:51:38,448 Lance, we need a closer shot of it. 939 00:51:39,083 --> 00:51:41,384 Oh! Oh, yuck. 940 00:51:43,420 --> 00:51:46,556 Preston should have pooped before he came to work today. 941 00:51:46,590 --> 00:51:49,593 Fail to prepare. Prepare to fail. Hmm. 942 00:51:51,028 --> 00:51:52,029 Marker. 943 00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:55,665 Hello, my name's Johnny Knoxville 944 00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:57,400 and this is the marching band. 945 00:52:00,271 --> 00:52:02,372 Ladies! 946 00:52:22,193 --> 00:52:23,526 Ugh! 947 00:52:24,394 --> 00:52:26,163 That happened so fast! 948 00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:30,567 Damn, I got a hard head. 949 00:52:32,103 --> 00:52:33,503 Oh, my god. You all right? 950 00:52:33,536 --> 00:52:36,439 - Yeah, I'm fine. - Oh, my god. He's bleeding. 951 00:52:36,473 --> 00:52:38,309 My hair line is receding. 952 00:52:38,342 --> 00:52:39,609 Steve-O, are you okay? 953 00:52:40,710 --> 00:52:42,179 You all right, Steve-O? 954 00:52:42,213 --> 00:52:43,314 - Oh, dude. - Yo, you okay? 955 00:52:43,347 --> 00:52:44,614 Holy shit. 956 00:52:47,318 --> 00:52:49,854 Man, that happened fast. 957 00:52:52,924 --> 00:52:56,394 All that practicing, right out the window. 958 00:52:56,426 --> 00:52:59,931 I feel like I'm coming back to myself. I can't remember nothing. 959 00:53:01,032 --> 00:53:03,267 - I didn't wimp out, did I? - No, you didn't. 960 00:53:03,301 --> 00:53:05,937 You still got those million dollar teeth, that's for sure. 961 00:53:10,374 --> 00:53:12,442 They're dropping like flies. 962 00:53:15,478 --> 00:53:17,090 I never know what to say to Rick's camera. 963 00:53:17,114 --> 00:53:20,351 I feel like, I'm just like, ah ha, man, I'm on jackass. 964 00:53:20,384 --> 00:53:21,886 This is sick. 965 00:53:21,919 --> 00:53:25,790 I'm in the TV show I used to watch, man. 966 00:53:25,823 --> 00:53:28,491 Everything I say is gonna end up on the cutting room floor anyways. 967 00:53:28,525 --> 00:53:29,994 So it doesn't matter. 968 00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,932 - Hey, how you doin'? - Hi. 969 00:53:34,966 --> 00:53:36,801 - Can I get a cold brew? - Yeah, of course. 970 00:53:36,834 --> 00:53:37,935 Thanks. 971 00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:43,740 Do you mind if I get a photo? 972 00:53:43,774 --> 00:53:45,943 - Sure. - I'm a big fan. 973 00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:56,053 Oh, my god! 974 00:54:01,392 --> 00:54:02,994 What did you guys do to Eric? 975 00:54:03,027 --> 00:54:06,663 Fuck, everything was perfect. I was like, 976 00:54:06,696 --> 00:54:08,698 cold brew coffee, all right. 977 00:54:09,967 --> 00:54:11,634 Yes, please. 978 00:54:11,668 --> 00:54:14,038 "A picture? Okay, yeah, sure." 979 00:54:14,071 --> 00:54:15,773 Motherfucker. 980 00:54:40,231 --> 00:54:42,199 - What happened? - What do you mean? 981 00:54:42,233 --> 00:54:43,968 He just got his nuts beat up. 982 00:54:44,869 --> 00:54:46,569 His balls are in his tummy. 983 00:54:46,603 --> 00:54:50,307 Oh. Ah, god damn it hurts. 984 00:54:50,341 --> 00:54:51,809 I think we gotta go one more. 985 00:54:55,046 --> 00:54:56,347 Can you do one more? 986 00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:58,215 Jeff said he needs one more. 987 00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:02,820 Hey, wee man, help him get through that hole. 988 00:55:03,954 --> 00:55:05,423 I'll guide. 989 00:55:05,456 --> 00:55:07,425 They're not hanging as low as they were. 990 00:55:07,458 --> 00:55:08,926 - Can you blame him? - No. 991 00:55:08,959 --> 00:55:10,428 I'm getting 'em right now. 992 00:55:10,461 --> 00:55:12,695 Ehren "fluffer" mcghehey. 993 00:55:13,097 --> 00:55:15,232 Oh, my god. 994 00:55:16,666 --> 00:55:19,602 - Oh, fuck, it hurts. - Hold on, get ready. 995 00:55:20,703 --> 00:55:23,074 - Okay, there. - Here we go. Here we go. 996 00:55:24,508 --> 00:55:26,043 - Now we're primed. - One more time. 997 00:55:26,077 --> 00:55:28,279 Ah, fuck you. 998 00:55:31,015 --> 00:55:32,582 You ready? Action. 999 00:55:33,284 --> 00:55:34,318 Everybody shut up! 1000 00:55:35,119 --> 00:55:36,153 Boxer. 1001 00:55:40,690 --> 00:55:42,326 Oh, Preston. 1002 00:55:47,832 --> 00:55:51,268 Here with Steve-O and our special handsome guest star, 1003 00:55:51,302 --> 00:55:52,635 machine gun Kelly. 1004 00:55:52,669 --> 00:55:54,704 This is the bicycle backhand 1005 00:55:54,737 --> 00:55:56,606 and it's a competition. 1006 00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:59,543 The faster you pedal your bike 1007 00:55:59,577 --> 00:56:02,546 the faster the other guy's hand goes back. 1008 00:56:02,580 --> 00:56:04,014 And when it gets to a certain point, 1009 00:56:04,048 --> 00:56:06,016 boom, someone's gonna get launched. 1010 00:56:06,584 --> 00:56:08,519 You might be younger, 1011 00:56:08,552 --> 00:56:10,921 taller, better looking, richer, 1012 00:56:10,955 --> 00:56:13,190 more talented, but, motherfucker, 1013 00:56:13,224 --> 00:56:14,325 I can ride. 1014 00:56:15,392 --> 00:56:17,294 Steve-O's just eat up with envy. 1015 00:56:20,297 --> 00:56:22,632 Charlie, can you push that hand in a little closer? 1016 00:56:22,665 --> 00:56:25,069 Okay, I'm gonna push this forward a little. 1017 00:56:25,102 --> 00:56:27,538 Oh, shit! 1018 00:56:27,571 --> 00:56:30,141 What the fuck? 1019 00:56:30,174 --> 00:56:32,675 No one fucking even touched it. 1020 00:56:33,110 --> 00:56:34,945 Oops. Oops. 1021 00:56:36,981 --> 00:56:38,983 It happened so fast. 1022 00:56:39,617 --> 00:56:41,051 Holy shit. 1023 00:56:42,652 --> 00:56:44,255 Oh, my god, dude. 1024 00:56:46,757 --> 00:56:48,392 Dry off, Steve-O, it's going again. 1025 00:56:51,028 --> 00:56:52,997 Charlie just touched it, it went boom. 1026 00:56:54,731 --> 00:56:57,067 And now Steve-O has to do it twice. 1027 00:56:58,469 --> 00:56:59,904 Um, we ready? 1028 00:57:01,205 --> 00:57:02,506 On your marks... 1029 00:57:02,540 --> 00:57:03,574 Get set... 1030 00:57:03,607 --> 00:57:04,875 Go! 1031 00:57:04,909 --> 00:57:06,544 Pedal! Pedal! Pedal! 1032 00:57:06,577 --> 00:57:08,612 Oh, you got this! 1033 00:57:12,249 --> 00:57:14,118 Keep going! Keep going! 1034 00:57:14,151 --> 00:57:15,152 Pedal! 1035 00:57:17,555 --> 00:57:18,989 He's got 'em! 1036 00:57:20,591 --> 00:57:24,028 Steve-O's winning. 1037 00:57:24,061 --> 00:57:25,563 I don't know. I don't know! 1038 00:57:25,596 --> 00:57:26,931 Head up! Head up! 1039 00:57:26,964 --> 00:57:28,265 Don't gas out, Steve-O. 1040 00:57:28,299 --> 00:57:30,733 - Steve-O, you got it. - You got it! 1041 00:57:34,471 --> 00:57:36,473 Oh, god. It's so cold! 1042 00:57:39,843 --> 00:57:41,345 Bunny, help him. 1043 00:57:42,313 --> 00:57:43,881 The water's so fucking cold. 1044 00:57:43,914 --> 00:57:45,583 Save me motherfucker, fuck. 1045 00:57:45,616 --> 00:57:47,151 I need a towel. 1046 00:57:48,552 --> 00:57:50,988 I totally forgot I was a lifeguard. 1047 00:57:51,021 --> 00:57:53,023 Dude, it's so cold. That hurt so bad. 1048 00:57:53,591 --> 00:57:54,892 You got towels? Okay. 1049 00:57:54,925 --> 00:57:57,061 He's in shock right now, look at his face. 1050 00:57:57,094 --> 00:57:58,028 Yeah, dude. 1051 00:57:58,062 --> 00:58:00,197 I thought my hand was your hand. 1052 00:58:04,068 --> 00:58:06,003 Maybe I didn't explain it right. 1053 00:58:06,036 --> 00:58:09,106 Dude, you said it wasn't gonna feel like anything. 1054 00:58:09,139 --> 00:58:10,784 What hurt worse, the cold water or the hand? 1055 00:58:10,808 --> 00:58:12,742 It was the hand. That was harsh. 1056 00:58:13,711 --> 00:58:14,979 I was in the water like... 1057 00:58:15,479 --> 00:58:16,547 Oh, I'm dead. 1058 00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:17,982 That really worked. 1059 00:58:21,385 --> 00:58:22,586 How did you beat me? 1060 00:58:22,620 --> 00:58:24,288 I don't know, dude. I don't know, man. 1061 00:58:24,321 --> 00:58:28,359 I was coming off my pedals, it was not my strongest performance. 1062 00:58:28,392 --> 00:58:29,593 Yours was really bad. 1063 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,969 I don't know what's worse, the wedgie or these 1064 00:58:39,003 --> 00:58:42,106 junkyard mattresses you gotta land on? 1065 00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:44,375 Look at that pee-stained one right there. 1066 00:58:44,408 --> 00:58:45,876 Ew, dude. 1067 00:58:45,909 --> 00:58:48,445 Who do you think's more afraid of being at that height? 1068 00:58:49,179 --> 00:58:50,281 Preston or Zach? 1069 00:58:50,314 --> 00:58:51,982 How are you with heights, Zach? 1070 00:58:52,016 --> 00:58:55,953 I already hate this. 1071 00:58:55,986 --> 00:58:59,758 I'm wee man, and this is the triple wedgie. 1072 00:58:59,790 --> 00:59:05,062 All right. Three, two, one. Jump! 1073 00:59:13,237 --> 00:59:15,572 Okay! Put me down! 1074 00:59:15,606 --> 00:59:17,207 Shit, put me down! 1075 00:59:21,578 --> 00:59:24,048 My nuts! 1076 00:59:27,752 --> 00:59:29,353 Well, that went well. 1077 00:59:32,823 --> 00:59:35,125 A little angel hanging in the air. 1078 00:59:38,962 --> 00:59:41,598 Hollywood has long put tremendous pressure on women 1079 00:59:41,632 --> 00:59:43,167 to look youthful and sexy. 1080 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,436 And sometimes, the only way to do that is with a team 1081 00:59:45,469 --> 00:59:50,374 of medical professionals and venomous insects. 1082 00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:54,845 I'm Rachel, and this is scorpion Botox. 1083 00:59:56,914 --> 00:59:59,016 This is actually my first time performing 1084 00:59:59,049 --> 01:00:01,051 this procedure. To be honest with you. 1085 01:00:01,085 --> 01:00:03,153 Oh, my god. That stinger is huge. 1086 01:00:04,288 --> 01:00:06,825 Pontius, I'm trusting you with my lips. 1087 01:00:06,857 --> 01:00:08,292 You can trust me, I'm a doctor. 1088 01:00:09,993 --> 01:00:12,396 You want to just put him on my mouth 1089 01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,597 and then fuck with him? 1090 01:00:14,799 --> 01:00:16,801 - Past her lip. - Ooh! 1091 01:00:16,835 --> 01:00:18,435 Unh-unh. Unh-unh. 1092 01:00:18,469 --> 01:00:21,105 Just relax and enjoy the procedure. 1093 01:00:22,039 --> 01:00:24,508 - Oh, he's on. - Oh, no. 1094 01:00:28,879 --> 01:00:29,913 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my... 1095 01:00:29,947 --> 01:00:32,116 Ow! 1096 01:00:32,149 --> 01:00:34,051 - Boob job! - I don't want it on my boobs! 1097 01:00:34,084 --> 01:00:36,129 I can't take him off your boob unless you give me permission. 1098 01:00:36,153 --> 01:00:37,856 Permission! 1099 01:00:37,888 --> 01:00:39,824 Consent! 1100 01:00:39,858 --> 01:00:41,525 I'm giving you consent! 1101 01:00:42,993 --> 01:00:45,429 - 21st century, people. - Yeah. 1102 01:00:45,462 --> 01:00:47,064 All right, time to get stung in the face. 1103 01:00:47,097 --> 01:00:49,666 - Whoa. - This is intense. 1104 01:00:53,003 --> 01:00:55,239 - Good job. Good job. - He got it on my lip. 1105 01:00:55,272 --> 01:00:58,375 You're ready for the red carpet. 1106 01:00:58,409 --> 01:01:01,813 Oh, shit. He's angry. 1107 01:01:01,846 --> 01:01:04,448 - Oh, shit! - Whoa! 1108 01:01:04,481 --> 01:01:05,983 God dammit, doctor. 1109 01:01:11,288 --> 01:01:13,257 He definitely stung my chin. 1110 01:01:13,290 --> 01:01:15,894 Came for lips and left with a new chin. 1111 01:01:15,926 --> 01:01:17,394 Do you feel sexier? 1112 01:01:17,428 --> 01:01:20,264 I'm feeling sexier by the minute. 1113 01:01:20,297 --> 01:01:22,132 - Do you have one more in you? - Yeah, sure. 1114 01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,902 Let's make it count. 1115 01:01:23,934 --> 01:01:26,236 - He's coming. - You got it, doc. 1116 01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:33,878 Oh, my god, that hurt so fucking bad. 1117 01:01:33,912 --> 01:01:36,980 - Oh, my god, that hurt so bad. - It's true, it got her good. 1118 01:01:37,014 --> 01:01:39,283 That hurt bad. 1119 01:01:39,316 --> 01:01:41,786 Oh, shit. 1120 01:01:41,820 --> 01:01:44,321 Her lips are really swollen now. That shit worked. 1121 01:01:44,354 --> 01:01:47,057 Oh, my lip is so fucked up, you guys. 1122 01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:48,258 I feel fucked up. 1123 01:01:48,292 --> 01:01:50,027 But she looks great. 1124 01:01:56,099 --> 01:01:58,368 - Whoa, a VCR. - Huh? 1125 01:01:58,402 --> 01:01:59,871 A VCR. 1126 01:01:59,904 --> 01:02:02,206 So that's a blast from the past, huh? 1127 01:02:02,506 --> 01:02:03,507 Bam! 1128 01:02:06,743 --> 01:02:09,246 Ah, that will work. 1129 01:02:16,653 --> 01:02:18,722 Dang. 1130 01:02:21,558 --> 01:02:24,328 Oh. Oh, my god. 1131 01:02:27,064 --> 01:02:28,499 Whoa! What? 1132 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,837 - What the hell? - What the fuck! 1133 01:02:32,871 --> 01:02:34,304 What happened? 1134 01:02:35,405 --> 01:02:38,509 Holy crap, I fell on my face. 1135 01:02:38,542 --> 01:02:41,078 - Are you okay? - I'm okay, I just don't understand. 1136 01:02:41,111 --> 01:02:43,380 I don't understand why you were using the toilet. 1137 01:02:43,413 --> 01:02:47,785 How did you end up here? And you just took a shit... 1138 01:02:47,819 --> 01:02:50,287 - I didn't take anything. - That was insane. 1139 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,089 What kind of person are you? 1140 01:02:54,358 --> 01:02:58,061 We have every available fan in Los Angeles on set today. 1141 01:02:58,095 --> 01:03:00,798 The two in the middle go 100 miles an hour. 1142 01:03:00,832 --> 01:03:05,302 I'm Jasper, and I'm about to take this gold chair to the fucking moon. 1143 01:03:13,912 --> 01:03:15,412 Oh! 1144 01:03:17,982 --> 01:03:20,584 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1145 01:03:24,756 --> 01:03:26,456 Oh, my god! 1146 01:03:27,691 --> 01:03:29,226 Oh, my god! 1147 01:03:32,095 --> 01:03:34,131 We have a winner! 1148 01:03:38,168 --> 01:03:39,536 Holy shit. 1149 01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:41,738 Oh, fuck. I want to go again. 1150 01:03:43,607 --> 01:03:47,678 Now it's time for some hot-shit water-skiing. Brah! 1151 01:04:00,223 --> 01:04:02,693 We need a medic. Medic! 1152 01:04:04,428 --> 01:04:08,365 - Poops, you launched. - Shit! 1153 01:04:08,398 --> 01:04:12,436 - Fuck, dude. - Dude. Poopies! Poopies! 1154 01:04:12,703 --> 01:04:14,072 Poopies! 1155 01:04:16,139 --> 01:04:18,542 - Yeah. - Yeah, poopies! 1156 01:04:19,142 --> 01:04:20,377 It worked! 1157 01:04:28,251 --> 01:04:30,420 Oh, shit! 1158 01:04:31,055 --> 01:04:32,689 Dude. 1159 01:04:36,861 --> 01:04:38,295 Quiet, please! Filming. 1160 01:04:38,328 --> 01:04:41,899 Milk, milk, lemonade, turn the corner and fudge is made. 1161 01:04:41,933 --> 01:04:45,103 Stick your finger in the hole. Now you've got a tootsie... 1162 01:04:47,105 --> 01:04:49,040 Hey, quiet please, quiet please. 1163 01:04:49,073 --> 01:04:54,277 Everybody quiet. So he can sing "milk, milk, lemonade." 1164 01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:57,915 Okay this is serious. Everybody shut up. 1165 01:04:59,182 --> 01:05:00,885 All right, let's get some smoke. 1166 01:05:07,157 --> 01:05:12,396 Behold, our twisted souls have come to the garden of death to dine with the devil. 1167 01:05:12,429 --> 01:05:17,267 It's time to sacrifice wee man's juicy ass to the raptor from hell. 1168 01:05:18,669 --> 01:05:20,872 - Oh. - Looking good. 1169 01:05:22,172 --> 01:05:26,576 - Assume the position. - Which way? This way? 1170 01:05:28,512 --> 01:05:30,081 Just have fun with it. 1171 01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:35,086 What do you have in there? 1172 01:05:35,119 --> 01:05:37,621 - Just me! - That's not just you. 1173 01:05:37,654 --> 01:05:38,722 Go ahead. 1174 01:05:39,556 --> 01:05:41,793 Is that? Wait, I'm not... 1175 01:05:41,826 --> 01:05:44,261 That's him! 1176 01:05:44,294 --> 01:05:47,731 When the beast awakens, the monster arises. 1177 01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:51,468 Touche. 1178 01:05:51,501 --> 01:05:54,471 All right, whoa, dude, whoa! 1179 01:05:54,504 --> 01:05:56,174 Stuff it in his butt and let's go. 1180 01:06:00,644 --> 01:06:03,981 Okay, there's enough meat there. 1181 01:06:09,352 --> 01:06:11,055 And a cherry on top. 1182 01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,560 Let the unholy sacrament begin. 1183 01:06:16,593 --> 01:06:19,831 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my god! 1184 01:06:19,864 --> 01:06:21,665 Ah, fuck! 1185 01:06:22,332 --> 01:06:23,633 Come. 1186 01:06:26,204 --> 01:06:28,705 Oh, okay! 1187 01:06:28,739 --> 01:06:31,475 - You got this. - Oh, no! 1188 01:06:31,843 --> 01:06:33,343 Oh, shit! 1189 01:06:34,178 --> 01:06:36,114 Feast on his cock. 1190 01:06:42,153 --> 01:06:44,621 All right! All right! 1191 01:06:46,523 --> 01:06:49,493 Stop, man. Stop, don't do that. 1192 01:06:49,526 --> 01:06:53,998 As the blood rushes to the mast, the beast awakens from his ancient slumber. 1193 01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,176 - He's bleeding. - Fuck. Come on. 1194 01:07:05,209 --> 01:07:06,878 The beast has drawn blood. 1195 01:07:06,911 --> 01:07:10,114 Jeff. Jeff, can I get out? 1196 01:07:10,148 --> 01:07:11,681 In a second. In a second. 1197 01:07:11,715 --> 01:07:14,651 - Jeff. - I would, but the bird's right here. 1198 01:07:14,684 --> 01:07:17,387 We're trying to get you untied but the bird's here. 1199 01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:20,357 Before he returns to hell, it's time for dessert. 1200 01:07:20,390 --> 01:07:21,691 Come on, let's go. 1201 01:07:25,395 --> 01:07:27,865 - Fuck! - Don't kick the bird, wee man. 1202 01:07:27,899 --> 01:07:29,299 I didn't kick the bird! 1203 01:07:29,332 --> 01:07:30,835 It was the bird. 1204 01:07:30,868 --> 01:07:33,871 - Okay, let me out. - Let him out. 1205 01:07:37,340 --> 01:07:40,278 Well, let's not let this meat go to waste. 1206 01:07:40,310 --> 01:07:42,079 - Dark shark? - Shut up. 1207 01:07:42,113 --> 01:07:46,117 Hell, no, I ain't going near none of that. Hell, nah. 1208 01:07:46,150 --> 01:07:47,717 Look at that motherfucker. 1209 01:07:47,752 --> 01:07:49,719 Dark shark, come on, just put it on your arm. 1210 01:07:49,754 --> 01:07:51,688 Hell, nah, are you crazy? 1211 01:07:51,721 --> 01:07:53,557 - Yeah, dark shark. - Come on! 1212 01:07:53,590 --> 01:07:55,960 - Dark shark! - Yeah! 1213 01:08:02,233 --> 01:08:05,937 - Hold your arm straight. - Look at the camera. 1214 01:08:08,638 --> 01:08:10,808 Don't move. Don't move. 1215 01:08:10,842 --> 01:08:12,642 - Don't move. - Stand still. 1216 01:08:12,676 --> 01:08:14,111 Ow! He's biting my arm! 1217 01:08:14,145 --> 01:08:15,847 - No, he's not. - He's clasping your arm. 1218 01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:19,817 - Look at Rick! Look at Rick! - He's too heavy! Get him off me! 1219 01:08:32,129 --> 01:08:35,565 Hey. Feel that shit, man. That motherfucker was trying to hurt me, man. 1220 01:08:36,733 --> 01:08:39,703 I'm kind of embarrassed right now. Like... 1221 01:08:40,838 --> 01:08:43,673 I came out of his penis, man. That's how he acting? 1222 01:08:45,442 --> 01:08:47,044 Hood card taken away. 1223 01:08:50,413 --> 01:08:53,851 We have 15 gallons of pig semen. 1224 01:08:53,885 --> 01:08:57,420 Turns out, pigs produce the most semen of any animal. 1225 01:08:57,454 --> 01:09:00,557 Up to 17 ounces a load. 1226 01:09:00,590 --> 01:09:05,162 And the guys are going to think they are getting interviewed about the movie. 1227 01:09:05,196 --> 01:09:08,933 And while they're sitting there, something may happen. 1228 01:09:10,801 --> 01:09:13,603 There's crust on top of it. 1229 01:09:13,637 --> 01:09:17,775 Harvested gallons and gallons of this. Does it smell like pig semen? 1230 01:09:17,808 --> 01:09:18,809 Does it smell? 1231 01:09:19,609 --> 01:09:21,112 Why are you looking at me like that? 1232 01:09:23,047 --> 01:09:25,482 Oh, no! 1233 01:09:26,851 --> 01:09:28,886 It's semen all right. 1234 01:09:32,390 --> 01:09:34,591 Why am I the one to puke? I don't puke. 1235 01:09:34,624 --> 01:09:36,193 I just wanted you to smell it. 1236 01:09:36,227 --> 01:09:37,594 I wanted to surprise you. 1237 01:09:37,627 --> 01:09:39,797 It's been a while since I ate the horse semen but... 1238 01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:42,099 I think I prefer the pig. 1239 01:09:43,433 --> 01:09:45,502 Bacon's better than horse meat, right? 1240 01:09:47,939 --> 01:09:51,876 I'm Tyler. And this is the electric tap dance. 1241 01:09:51,909 --> 01:09:54,611 While these beautiful men dance away, 1242 01:09:54,644 --> 01:09:56,613 I'm going to give my guy Johnny Knoxville a look, 1243 01:09:56,646 --> 01:09:59,216 and he's going to put some pep in their step. 1244 01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:02,119 It's going to shock the shit out of them. 1245 01:10:02,153 --> 01:10:04,922 And if you're wondering if the curtains match the drapes, 1246 01:10:04,956 --> 01:10:08,259 let me tell you, I tore those drapes out a long time ago. 1247 01:10:11,162 --> 01:10:12,529 This is fucked. 1248 01:10:15,498 --> 01:10:17,802 Five, six, seven, eight. 1249 01:10:26,010 --> 01:10:29,213 That one hurt. 1250 01:10:29,246 --> 01:10:31,514 Shanna, what the fuck is this under the seat? 1251 01:10:31,548 --> 01:10:32,716 What is this? 1252 01:10:32,749 --> 01:10:33,951 What the fuck is that? 1253 01:10:33,985 --> 01:10:36,153 - What? - What is that? 1254 01:10:36,187 --> 01:10:37,355 What is that? 1255 01:10:37,388 --> 01:10:39,689 It's how they work, look. This... 1256 01:10:39,723 --> 01:10:41,993 In tune? It's a piano. 1257 01:10:42,026 --> 01:10:44,661 No, it's metal right here. I'm not fucking stupid. 1258 01:10:44,694 --> 01:10:47,965 All right, let's go. Quiet! 1259 01:10:53,871 --> 01:10:56,506 Five, six, seven, eight. 1260 01:10:57,975 --> 01:10:59,609 Step and step. 1261 01:11:02,013 --> 01:11:03,580 Fuck! 1262 01:11:08,219 --> 01:11:09,552 Oh, shit! 1263 01:11:11,822 --> 01:11:13,290 Oh! Oh! 1264 01:11:39,749 --> 01:11:41,752 I still feel it in my ass. 1265 01:11:41,786 --> 01:11:44,789 - Yeah, Tyler. - Those shits hit hard, man. 1266 01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:47,224 How about a hand for our dancers? 1267 01:11:48,459 --> 01:11:50,127 Our showgirl! 1268 01:11:51,862 --> 01:11:54,098 And our choreographer, Michael Rooney. 1269 01:11:55,366 --> 01:11:56,967 And Jeff tremaine! 1270 01:12:00,471 --> 01:12:02,506 Jeff should sit on that. 1271 01:12:02,540 --> 01:12:04,975 Jeff, sit on that just once, bro. 1272 01:12:05,009 --> 01:12:07,311 Who got that remote? I fucking hate Jeff. 1273 01:12:10,414 --> 01:12:11,681 Wait, are you on it? 1274 01:12:22,359 --> 01:12:23,961 Holy shit! 1275 01:12:26,764 --> 01:12:29,100 All right, thanks man. We'll do this real fast. 1276 01:12:30,301 --> 01:12:32,903 So we're going to go from that to this. I just... 1277 01:12:32,937 --> 01:12:34,839 I got shocked so bad so many times. 1278 01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:36,273 Are we rolling, guys? 1279 01:12:38,509 --> 01:12:42,645 He's about to have five gallons of pig cum dumped on him. 1280 01:12:42,679 --> 01:12:44,681 Damn, that sounds like me in London. 1281 01:12:46,217 --> 01:12:47,585 Oh, my god. 1282 01:12:47,617 --> 01:12:50,154 But how did he fucking fall for this? 1283 01:12:50,821 --> 01:12:52,189 We don't question it. 1284 01:12:52,223 --> 01:12:55,259 My favorite jackass stunt of all time with me in it 1285 01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:57,660 is the firehose rodeo. 1286 01:12:57,694 --> 01:13:00,630 To be honest, I drank late into the night, 1287 01:13:00,663 --> 01:13:02,333 woke up still drunk. 1288 01:13:04,135 --> 01:13:05,903 Oh, that's cum! 1289 01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:18,015 That's five gallons of pig cum. 1290 01:13:18,048 --> 01:13:20,584 - You just got cummed on, dude! - That's pig cum. 1291 01:13:20,618 --> 01:13:22,286 - Oh! - What is it? 1292 01:13:22,620 --> 01:13:24,121 Pig cum. 1293 01:13:24,155 --> 01:13:25,256 Pig cum. 1294 01:13:27,525 --> 01:13:28,959 - Pig cum. - That's pig cum? 1295 01:13:28,993 --> 01:13:31,095 That's pig cum. Five gallons. 1296 01:13:31,128 --> 01:13:33,164 Honestly, I think it tastes good. 1297 01:13:33,197 --> 01:13:34,697 I'm a vegetarian! 1298 01:13:38,701 --> 01:13:39,803 Watch the replay. 1299 01:13:39,837 --> 01:13:41,105 Watch, watch, watch. 1300 01:13:42,473 --> 01:13:44,775 Wait, wait, wait. Watch his mouth. 1301 01:13:45,242 --> 01:13:46,310 Stay on his mouth. 1302 01:13:46,844 --> 01:13:49,046 Ready? And... 1303 01:13:49,547 --> 01:13:51,081 Poof. 1304 01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:55,352 - It went in his mouth. - Right in his fucking mouth. 1305 01:13:55,386 --> 01:13:56,554 You look great. 1306 01:13:56,587 --> 01:13:58,255 I just said why can't I wear my cool hat? 1307 01:13:58,289 --> 01:13:59,290 Now I know why. 1308 01:14:05,629 --> 01:14:07,264 Oh, god! 1309 01:14:07,298 --> 01:14:10,234 Oh, my god, dude! 1310 01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:15,172 So today, ehren's going to be wearing a shock collar. 1311 01:14:15,206 --> 01:14:18,676 And I'm going to administer a lie detector test. 1312 01:14:18,708 --> 01:14:22,246 And if he's not truthful, he's going to get stung. 1313 01:14:25,216 --> 01:14:26,417 Jesus, man! 1314 01:14:26,450 --> 01:14:27,627 You don't have to feel that again 1315 01:14:27,651 --> 01:14:29,486 as long as you tell the truth. 1316 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,455 - Okay, but... - Come on. 1317 01:14:31,488 --> 01:14:32,489 All right. 1318 01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,428 What is your name? 1319 01:14:37,461 --> 01:14:38,929 Kenneth ehren mcghehey. 1320 01:14:39,863 --> 01:14:42,866 Okay, next question, ehren. 1321 01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:45,803 Are you really allergic to bees? 1322 01:14:46,503 --> 01:14:47,838 Yes. 1323 01:14:47,871 --> 01:14:51,375 Oh, boy, I think he told a porky. 1324 01:14:51,408 --> 01:14:57,514 Ow! I'm fucking allergic to bees, man. I got tested by doctors! 1325 01:14:58,515 --> 01:15:01,018 Stop it! 1326 01:15:01,051 --> 01:15:02,219 - What? - Just for a second. 1327 01:15:02,253 --> 01:15:04,488 Just let me figure some things out. Okay? 1328 01:15:04,521 --> 01:15:05,522 Okay. 1329 01:15:06,590 --> 01:15:08,158 I got to get out of this thing. 1330 01:15:08,192 --> 01:15:11,562 - This will keep you immune to the bees. - Oh, come on. 1331 01:15:11,595 --> 01:15:13,097 Are you fucking kidding me right now? 1332 01:15:13,130 --> 01:15:14,498 I am trapped. 1333 01:15:14,531 --> 01:15:16,367 And you are putting honey on me. 1334 01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:19,236 - And salmon? - Yeah. 1335 01:15:19,270 --> 01:15:20,638 What are you doing? 1336 01:15:20,671 --> 01:15:22,306 Ehren, please relax. 1337 01:15:23,607 --> 01:15:25,009 You're making this much worse 1338 01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:26,286 on yourself than it needs to be. 1339 01:15:26,310 --> 01:15:28,345 No, it's not much worse, it is that worse. 1340 01:15:28,379 --> 01:15:29,446 - No. - Please. 1341 01:15:29,480 --> 01:15:30,714 Now I'm stuck in a room. 1342 01:15:30,748 --> 01:15:33,417 Everyone's going to leave. Lights out. 1343 01:15:33,450 --> 01:15:36,053 The fucking honey is in my eye! 1344 01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,322 Oh, shit. 1345 01:15:46,430 --> 01:15:47,665 Oh, my god. 1346 01:15:49,133 --> 01:15:50,801 - I can't believe it. - No fucking way. 1347 01:15:50,834 --> 01:15:52,369 Look at his face! 1348 01:15:52,403 --> 01:15:54,872 Ehren, remain calm. 1349 01:16:03,414 --> 01:16:05,015 Talk to it, ehren. 1350 01:16:05,049 --> 01:16:06,116 Try to calm it down. 1351 01:16:06,150 --> 01:16:07,551 Oh, no. He's going for the salmon. 1352 01:16:08,485 --> 01:16:11,288 - Oh, no. - Hi, bear. 1353 01:16:11,322 --> 01:16:13,957 Are you really allergic to bees, ehren? 1354 01:16:18,862 --> 01:16:20,799 - Fuck! - You're telling a porky! 1355 01:16:20,831 --> 01:16:22,566 I didn't even get to answer. 1356 01:16:24,902 --> 01:16:27,806 - No, no. - Ooh! 1357 01:16:31,408 --> 01:16:33,610 Ehren, don't make any sudden movements. 1358 01:16:38,482 --> 01:16:40,551 Oh. 1359 01:16:40,584 --> 01:16:42,821 There's nothing more in there! 1360 01:16:42,853 --> 01:16:44,321 There's nothing more in there! 1361 01:16:44,355 --> 01:16:46,490 Mr. Bear, eat that dick. 1362 01:16:48,359 --> 01:16:51,028 I'm ready to come out of this. I... 1363 01:16:51,628 --> 01:16:53,097 Uh-oh. 1364 01:16:53,130 --> 01:16:54,732 Fuck, dude, he tried to bite my hand. 1365 01:16:54,766 --> 01:16:57,668 He's trying to bite my hand. He's trying to bite my hand. 1366 01:16:57,701 --> 01:16:59,303 He's trying to bite my hand. 1367 01:17:00,671 --> 01:17:02,673 I don't know what... oh, my god! 1368 01:17:02,706 --> 01:17:04,007 Oh, my god! 1369 01:17:04,475 --> 01:17:05,943 Oh, god! 1370 01:17:06,610 --> 01:17:07,812 Oh, god! 1371 01:17:07,846 --> 01:17:10,481 Ow! Oh, my god, he's going for my dick. 1372 01:17:10,514 --> 01:17:12,983 - I gotta go in. - He's going for my dick, dude. 1373 01:17:13,016 --> 01:17:16,253 I wanna get outta here, man, like I'm serious. 1374 01:17:16,887 --> 01:17:18,155 Please. 1375 01:17:18,823 --> 01:17:20,023 Please! 1376 01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:24,395 Yeah, ehren! 1377 01:17:26,865 --> 01:17:28,800 Yeah, get him out of it. 1378 01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:31,135 I feel for you, bro. 1379 01:17:31,168 --> 01:17:32,879 - I feel for you. - You're good, you're done. 1380 01:17:32,903 --> 01:17:34,004 You're done. 1381 01:17:34,037 --> 01:17:35,506 Is it... is it actually over? 1382 01:17:38,843 --> 01:17:40,644 Yeah, buddy. 1383 01:17:41,512 --> 01:17:42,546 Oh, my god. 1384 01:17:44,381 --> 01:17:47,651 All right. I think this is a perfect amount of "in it". 1385 01:17:47,684 --> 01:17:48,952 All right, let me... 1386 01:17:48,986 --> 01:17:50,087 Who's got it? 1387 01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:51,164 - I thought I had it. - I got it. 1388 01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:52,689 All right. This is gnarly. 1389 01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:54,925 This is a trip. 1390 01:17:54,958 --> 01:17:57,670 While you guys are tightening, I'm going to have to hold the tip of it 1391 01:17:57,694 --> 01:17:59,930 just to keep it steady, huh? 1392 01:17:59,963 --> 01:18:02,666 Ooh, it's starting to take a firm grip. 1393 01:18:02,699 --> 01:18:03,967 Look at it! 1394 01:18:05,135 --> 01:18:07,204 This is some medieval shit. 1395 01:18:07,237 --> 01:18:10,107 - This is all the way clear. - No thanks, bro. 1396 01:18:10,140 --> 01:18:12,176 - Watch it, man. - It's tight, man. 1397 01:18:12,877 --> 01:18:13,977 Oooh. 1398 01:18:14,011 --> 01:18:15,012 That don't hurt? 1399 01:18:15,045 --> 01:18:16,079 That's the weird part, 1400 01:18:16,113 --> 01:18:17,347 it doesn't really hurt. 1401 01:18:17,381 --> 01:18:18,348 Oh, my god. 1402 01:18:18,382 --> 01:18:21,385 Don't look now, but it's flat as a pancake. 1403 01:18:21,418 --> 01:18:24,923 A lot of people ask, "what will jackass be like once we're older?" 1404 01:18:24,955 --> 01:18:27,291 Well, it'll get more mature. 1405 01:18:30,494 --> 01:18:32,229 Me and the homie be googling weird shit, 1406 01:18:32,262 --> 01:18:34,799 but like this would never pop in their head. 1407 01:18:34,833 --> 01:18:36,400 This is brand new. 1408 01:18:36,433 --> 01:18:38,669 Yeah, you're for sure never gonna be president. 1409 01:18:40,270 --> 01:18:41,873 You never know. I'd vote for him. 1410 01:18:41,906 --> 01:18:44,007 Yeah! 1411 01:18:45,742 --> 01:18:47,144 The ball flap. 1412 01:18:47,177 --> 01:18:48,479 Wow! 1413 01:18:52,249 --> 01:18:54,251 Yes! Oh, my god! 1414 01:18:56,453 --> 01:18:57,287 Wow! 1415 01:18:57,321 --> 01:18:58,989 Now we know what that's all about. 1416 01:19:03,427 --> 01:19:06,931 So, here we are back at the bullring. 1417 01:19:06,965 --> 01:19:11,268 Even at a time when I wanted to die, I wouldn't get in the bullring. 1418 01:19:11,301 --> 01:19:13,972 You know, when life was its least valuable 1419 01:19:14,004 --> 01:19:15,974 I would have no part in this bullshit. 1420 01:19:16,006 --> 01:19:17,641 And it's my least favorite thing. 1421 01:19:17,674 --> 01:19:19,343 The movie's going so well. 1422 01:19:19,376 --> 01:19:21,378 Why the fuck are we doing this? 1423 01:19:27,752 --> 01:19:29,486 God, dude! 1424 01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,923 - I don't think he's very happy. - No. 1425 01:19:31,956 --> 01:19:33,066 - Have you been around bulls before? - No. 1426 01:19:33,090 --> 01:19:34,133 I've never been around a bull 1427 01:19:34,157 --> 01:19:35,592 in my whole entire life. 1428 01:19:35,626 --> 01:19:36,627 Not a real one. 1429 01:19:37,862 --> 01:19:39,062 Oh, shit. 1430 01:19:39,363 --> 01:19:40,397 Oh, shit. 1431 01:19:42,901 --> 01:19:45,870 Hello, I am Johnny the magnificent. 1432 01:19:45,904 --> 01:19:51,308 Today, I am going to wow you with my supreme skills of prestidigitation. 1433 01:19:53,011 --> 01:19:55,479 Oh, fuck! Oh, god! Oh, shit! 1434 01:19:55,914 --> 01:19:57,147 Woo-hoo-hoo! 1435 01:20:01,051 --> 01:20:03,086 Oh, no! Oh, shit! 1436 01:20:04,187 --> 01:20:06,123 Oh, no. 1437 01:20:06,156 --> 01:20:07,591 Jesus. 1438 01:20:07,624 --> 01:20:08,760 There we go. 1439 01:20:15,033 --> 01:20:16,099 He's okay. 1440 01:20:16,133 --> 01:20:17,734 Hey, j, talk to me. You okay? 1441 01:20:17,769 --> 01:20:19,369 You all right? 1442 01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:22,139 You doing okay? Johnny? 1443 01:20:23,473 --> 01:20:24,976 He's gettin' back, he's coming to. 1444 01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:26,276 He's coming back, yeah. 1445 01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:27,711 You all right? 1446 01:20:27,744 --> 01:20:29,047 That was a violent brawl. 1447 01:20:29,079 --> 01:20:30,581 One-sided to be sure. 1448 01:20:32,850 --> 01:20:33,885 Gnarly. 1449 01:20:33,918 --> 01:20:35,252 So we good, Jeff? 1450 01:20:35,285 --> 01:20:36,888 You got exactly what you wanted. 1451 01:20:36,921 --> 01:20:38,589 - Yeah, Knox. - Yeah, Knox. 1452 01:20:38,622 --> 01:20:40,157 Oh, fuck. 1453 01:20:40,190 --> 01:20:41,893 So what happened after it hit me? 1454 01:20:41,926 --> 01:20:43,795 Dude, it's gnarly. 1455 01:20:43,828 --> 01:20:45,395 This is you, this is the bull. 1456 01:20:48,900 --> 01:20:50,434 He didn't mess around, dude. 1457 01:20:50,467 --> 01:20:52,436 He turned around and just nailed him. 1458 01:20:52,469 --> 01:20:54,404 - That was insane. - Yeah, Knox! 1459 01:20:54,438 --> 01:20:57,240 It's probably the biggest hit you've ever taken. 1460 01:20:58,141 --> 01:21:00,243 And that's why he is the captain. 1461 01:21:00,277 --> 01:21:02,713 That bull didn't like fucking magic. 1462 01:21:04,748 --> 01:21:06,249 Yeah, Knox, we love you! 1463 01:21:06,283 --> 01:21:07,484 Love you! 1464 01:21:08,019 --> 01:21:09,152 Captain! 1465 01:21:12,790 --> 01:21:13,791 Hello, Lance. 1466 01:21:14,993 --> 01:21:16,828 - Hello there. - How are you? 1467 01:21:16,861 --> 01:21:18,195 Good. What's new? 1468 01:21:18,228 --> 01:21:22,800 Ah, I got a broken wrist, broken rib, concussion. 1469 01:21:22,834 --> 01:21:25,469 But I was supposed to pour the milk in the hat, 1470 01:21:25,502 --> 01:21:29,874 and then put the hat back on, and no milk come out. 1471 01:21:29,907 --> 01:21:31,109 Did milk come out? 1472 01:21:31,141 --> 01:21:32,476 There was some milk on the... 1473 01:21:32,509 --> 01:21:33,677 Oh, shit! 1474 01:21:36,279 --> 01:21:39,083 These guys are gonna get on that centrifuge back there, 1475 01:21:39,117 --> 01:21:41,853 drink as much milk as they can. 1476 01:21:41,886 --> 01:21:43,253 We're gonna see what happens. 1477 01:21:43,286 --> 01:21:45,722 This is the vomitron. 1478 01:21:45,757 --> 01:21:46,891 - Woo! - Yeah! 1479 01:21:46,924 --> 01:21:48,525 Taste the rainbow. 1480 01:21:48,558 --> 01:21:51,261 - Taste the rainbow. - Come on, guys. 1481 01:21:51,294 --> 01:21:54,464 If this is a race to see who vomits first, 1482 01:21:54,498 --> 01:21:57,501 I think I might have it. 1483 01:21:58,702 --> 01:22:01,105 Zach, aim your head down when you throw up. 1484 01:22:01,139 --> 01:22:03,373 It's comin' right at me. 1485 01:22:03,407 --> 01:22:04,608 Oh, god. 1486 01:22:04,641 --> 01:22:07,145 I can barely taste the pig cum in this. 1487 01:22:07,210 --> 01:22:09,947 Right? 1488 01:22:09,981 --> 01:22:11,916 All right, chug, chug. 1489 01:22:11,949 --> 01:22:13,183 Oh, shit. 1490 01:22:13,684 --> 01:22:15,185 Here we go! Fuck me! 1491 01:22:15,218 --> 01:22:16,386 Just look at me, Eric. 1492 01:22:16,420 --> 01:22:18,588 - Pound that milk! - Yeah, chug it! 1493 01:22:19,556 --> 01:22:20,590 Oh. 1494 01:22:20,624 --> 01:22:22,126 - Fuck it. - Is he already puking? 1495 01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:23,593 Jasper! 1496 01:22:23,627 --> 01:22:26,363 - Drink your fucking milk! - I'm trying! I'm fuckin' trying! 1497 01:22:26,396 --> 01:22:29,067 Let's pick up the speed! Pick up the speed! 1498 01:22:29,100 --> 01:22:30,734 Whoo! It's pickin' up! 1499 01:22:31,601 --> 01:22:34,638 Ah! Ahh! 1500 01:22:36,974 --> 01:22:38,642 What the fuck did you eat? 1501 01:22:39,209 --> 01:22:40,544 What did he eat? 1502 01:22:42,679 --> 01:22:43,680 Go, go, go! 1503 01:22:51,923 --> 01:22:53,758 Oh, shit! 1504 01:22:53,791 --> 01:22:55,827 What's happening now? 1505 01:22:55,860 --> 01:22:57,227 There's an army truck. 1506 01:22:58,029 --> 01:22:59,463 Holy shit. 1507 01:23:00,198 --> 01:23:01,866 Oh, shit, imma pass out! 1508 01:23:02,299 --> 01:23:03,366 I'm passing out! 1509 01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,169 Zach's passing out? 1510 01:23:05,203 --> 01:23:06,804 I'm passing out. 1511 01:23:06,838 --> 01:23:10,307 I can't drink the milk. I'm going too fast. 1512 01:23:10,340 --> 01:23:13,845 Red Robin three. This is big Hank two. 1513 01:23:13,878 --> 01:23:16,379 I want the perimeter bombed, god damn it! 1514 01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:18,582 Bomb them into the stone age, son! 1515 01:23:22,053 --> 01:23:23,620 Stop! 1516 01:23:26,356 --> 01:23:28,592 Stop! Stop! 1517 01:23:30,128 --> 01:23:33,164 What the fuck? What the fuck? 1518 01:23:33,197 --> 01:23:34,397 What the fuck? 1519 01:23:42,672 --> 01:23:44,274 Oh, no! 1520 01:23:44,976 --> 01:23:46,811 It's a paintball time! 1521 01:23:47,544 --> 01:23:48,880 Fire! 1522 01:23:53,217 --> 01:23:55,787 Stop! Stop! 1523 01:23:56,386 --> 01:23:59,389 No more! Oh! 1524 01:23:59,422 --> 01:24:01,491 I got shot in the fuckin' mouth. 1525 01:24:05,897 --> 01:24:07,965 Ah! Dave! Dave! 1526 01:24:07,999 --> 01:24:09,967 Get on the stretcher! 1527 01:24:10,001 --> 01:24:11,368 Get on the stretcher. 1528 01:24:14,504 --> 01:24:16,841 Don't get me! Ah! Fuck! 1529 01:24:27,450 --> 01:24:29,719 Someday this war is gonna end. 1530 01:24:34,926 --> 01:24:36,393 I don't know how to get out. 1531 01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:39,362 Help me, Eric! Help me! 1532 01:24:42,834 --> 01:24:45,970 I love the smell of paintballs in the morning! 1533 01:24:58,548 --> 01:24:59,549 Ow! 1534 01:25:01,185 --> 01:25:04,856 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1535 01:25:05,488 --> 01:25:07,792 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1536 01:25:11,028 --> 01:25:12,362 Ow! Oh! 1537 01:25:12,395 --> 01:25:15,766 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1538 01:25:16,399 --> 01:25:17,869 Fuck, Jeff! 1539 01:25:19,303 --> 01:25:20,838 Look at Dave's face! 1540 01:25:20,872 --> 01:25:22,106 Look at... 1541 01:25:22,139 --> 01:25:26,710 - Oh, my god! - Fuck off! Fuck all the way off! 1542 01:25:27,345 --> 01:25:30,214 Dude, what the fuck? 1543 01:25:30,248 --> 01:25:32,649 - I'm sorry, bro. - That fuckin' hurt! 1544 01:25:33,516 --> 01:25:35,485 Get out there, get out there. 1545 01:25:35,518 --> 01:25:37,255 Poopies... poopies is hurt. 1546 01:25:37,288 --> 01:25:39,323 - Are we done? - Let me see. 1547 01:25:39,357 --> 01:25:43,261 - Oh, my god. - Oh my god, damn! 1548 01:25:43,294 --> 01:25:44,628 My dick really hurts, man. 1549 01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:46,063 He got shot in the dick. 1550 01:25:46,964 --> 01:25:47,999 That was fucked! 1551 01:25:50,234 --> 01:25:51,668 Oh, god. Look at that. 1552 01:25:52,736 --> 01:25:54,171 It's gotta be over, dude. 1553 01:25:54,205 --> 01:25:55,773 I can't get any more hurt. 1554 01:25:55,806 --> 01:25:57,875 I think we're all the way finished, we're through. 1555 01:25:58,376 --> 01:25:59,777 Stick a fork in it. 1556 01:26:00,510 --> 01:26:01,812 We're done. 1557 01:26:05,082 --> 01:26:06,784 Oooh, is that your tooth, dude? 1558 01:26:07,318 --> 01:26:08,518 Wow! 1559 01:26:08,551 --> 01:26:10,354 That's a wrap on the movie. 1560 01:26:28,505 --> 01:26:29,739 Oh! 1561 01:26:30,473 --> 01:26:32,910 Huh? 1562 01:26:38,983 --> 01:26:39,984 Oh, my god! 1563 01:26:42,253 --> 01:26:43,453 Oh, shit! 1564 01:26:43,486 --> 01:26:45,655 - Watch him get hit in the nuts! - Oh, no! 1565 01:26:46,489 --> 01:26:47,758 Oh, fuck! 1566 01:26:48,692 --> 01:26:50,727 Did anyone even film that? 1567 01:26:50,761 --> 01:26:51,929 He was. 1568 01:26:57,567 --> 01:27:00,404 Oh, shit! 1569 01:27:00,438 --> 01:27:05,076 This is the cup that we used for p.K. To hit me in the dick. 1570 01:27:05,109 --> 01:27:06,543 And apparently it worked. 1571 01:27:09,447 --> 01:27:11,648 But there's a big giant dent in it. 1572 01:27:17,989 --> 01:27:19,123 Are you kidding me? 1573 01:27:19,622 --> 01:27:20,825 Flamingo. 1574 01:27:21,691 --> 01:27:23,660 Flamingo, pelican, eh! 1575 01:27:23,693 --> 01:27:24,795 Give that a whirl, yeah. 1576 01:27:24,829 --> 01:27:26,563 Probably, like, her least concern. 1577 01:27:28,332 --> 01:27:29,800 That's awesome. 1578 01:27:29,834 --> 01:27:31,802 I didn't even know he could go that fast. 1579 01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:38,909 Oh, my god! 1580 01:27:38,943 --> 01:27:41,045 I got shot with the elephant gun yesterday. 1581 01:27:41,879 --> 01:27:43,513 Yeah, parks! 1582 01:27:43,546 --> 01:27:46,884 Good job, dude! You launched! 1583 01:27:46,917 --> 01:27:49,253 That was crazy. 1584 01:27:49,286 --> 01:27:53,090 Oh, fuck, yeah, you the main one talkin' shit. Motherfucker, do it! 1585 01:27:53,124 --> 01:27:54,925 That's a hot mama. 1586 01:27:54,959 --> 01:27:55,793 Who's this? 1587 01:27:55,826 --> 01:27:57,361 He's my offspring. 1588 01:27:57,395 --> 01:27:59,263 For real, like, I've been watching jackass 1589 01:27:59,296 --> 01:28:03,067 - since I was like 12 years old, 10 years old. - Right. 1590 01:28:03,100 --> 01:28:06,303 But it's definitely a big impact on life and guess what? We're here. 1591 01:28:06,337 --> 01:28:07,938 We're here, baby! 1592 01:28:07,972 --> 01:28:10,207 Poopies doesn't have the biggest penis in the world, 1593 01:28:10,241 --> 01:28:12,777 not the second biggest either. 1594 01:28:12,810 --> 01:28:15,645 I think I have the smallest one out of the whole group. 1595 01:28:15,678 --> 01:28:21,152 That was what... that was what I was most nervous about is showing it on... 1596 01:28:21,185 --> 01:28:22,453 To the whole world. 1597 01:28:22,486 --> 01:28:25,322 - Yeah. - But that's what we're here for. 1598 01:28:30,727 --> 01:28:33,630 My name's Irving zissman, and I'm a prick. 1599 01:28:35,732 --> 01:28:37,234 And that's the truth. 1600 01:28:38,169 --> 01:28:40,703 I kind of feel like praying right now. 1601 01:28:40,737 --> 01:28:42,907 Boom, boom. Boom, boom. 1602 01:28:46,277 --> 01:28:47,610 Was that a prank? 1603 01:28:52,416 --> 01:28:54,385 Y'all ain't right, man. 1604 01:28:54,418 --> 01:28:57,354 That was beautiful. 1605 01:28:57,388 --> 01:28:58,956 I love you guys, man, for that. 1606 01:28:58,989 --> 01:29:01,459 Did they put that goofy-ass beard on in makeup? 1607 01:29:01,492 --> 01:29:02,836 You a hater. I knew he was gonna come over 1608 01:29:02,860 --> 01:29:05,563 and say some fuck shit about my nice-ass beard. 1609 01:29:05,595 --> 01:29:07,965 Yeah, 'cause that's... 1610 01:29:11,268 --> 01:29:12,937 Oh, my god! 1611 01:29:12,970 --> 01:29:14,371 Holy fuck. 1612 01:29:18,542 --> 01:29:20,945 Oh, my god, dude. 1613 01:29:21,345 --> 01:29:22,913 Come on, Zach! 1614 01:29:26,517 --> 01:29:27,751 Oh, god! 1615 01:29:29,587 --> 01:29:32,156 Oh, my, you missed the bucket. 1616 01:29:34,925 --> 01:29:37,194 I'm in the weirdest position. 1617 01:29:37,228 --> 01:29:40,264 All right, let's get that camera ready with the 16 mil, 1618 01:29:40,297 --> 01:29:41,932 right down main street. 1619 01:29:46,736 --> 01:29:48,172 - Hey, Rick. - Hey! 1620 01:29:58,415 --> 01:29:59,884 I was trying to look stoked. 1621 01:30:03,354 --> 01:30:05,256 There it is! 1622 01:30:05,289 --> 01:30:07,024 First time you got cummed on? 1623 01:30:07,057 --> 01:30:08,626 Yeah. For sure. 1624 01:30:08,658 --> 01:30:09,960 Or the second. 1625 01:30:14,664 --> 01:30:17,301 - I am, I have no... - Okay, listen. 1626 01:30:17,334 --> 01:30:18,701 Did we get it? 1627 01:30:20,171 --> 01:30:22,306 - You just gotta take it. - You just gotta go. 1628 01:30:22,339 --> 01:30:24,308 - Take it like a man. - You just gotta take it. 1629 01:30:29,079 --> 01:30:30,080 Cut! Cut! 1630 01:30:30,713 --> 01:30:32,316 That's good. 1631 01:30:32,349 --> 01:30:34,285 Three, two, one! 1632 01:30:36,887 --> 01:30:40,324 - Ow, ow, ow! - Ow, my hand's burned. 1633 01:30:40,357 --> 01:30:41,992 Ow, my hand's burning! 1634 01:30:42,026 --> 01:30:43,427 Hey, Dave. 1635 01:30:43,460 --> 01:30:44,762 - Dave, you good, bro? - Yeah. 1636 01:30:44,795 --> 01:30:45,906 I'm all right, I'll be all right. 1637 01:30:45,930 --> 01:30:47,198 I'm just going... I am burned. 1638 01:30:49,967 --> 01:30:50,968 Oh, god! 1639 01:30:51,235 --> 01:30:52,236 Fuck! 1640 01:30:55,940 --> 01:30:57,274 How's his head? 1641 01:31:01,445 --> 01:31:03,080 Can't have nothin' nice, can I? 1642 01:31:06,217 --> 01:31:08,886 Will you make him an actual coffee, Stephanie, thank you. 1643 01:31:08,919 --> 01:31:11,288 - Oh, dude. - Here, I made you another one. 1644 01:31:11,322 --> 01:31:12,323 Awesome. 1645 01:31:30,007 --> 01:31:31,675 That's actually not the milkshake. 1646 01:31:31,709 --> 01:31:32,910 All right! 1647 01:31:33,711 --> 01:31:35,479 Dude wanted to be just like me. 1648 01:31:36,547 --> 01:31:38,549 What? Dude, that's sick. 1649 01:31:38,582 --> 01:31:41,619 Trailer moment. Don't move. 1650 01:31:46,090 --> 01:31:47,091 We ready? 1651 01:31:49,260 --> 01:31:50,261 Huh? 1652 01:31:50,628 --> 01:31:52,129 He's ready. 1653 01:31:52,162 --> 01:31:54,265 So we're all ready to do this? 1654 01:31:54,298 --> 01:31:55,366 We're ready. 1655 01:31:55,399 --> 01:31:57,134 Everyone rolling? 1656 01:31:57,167 --> 01:31:59,303 Oh, no! Oh, no! 1657 01:32:03,240 --> 01:32:04,875 Oh, my god! 1658 01:32:04,908 --> 01:32:07,878 - Wow! - That is legit right there. 1659 01:32:07,911 --> 01:32:10,314 Let me get in on that one. 1660 01:32:10,347 --> 01:32:12,850 I'm running around in a g-string for a living. 1661 01:32:12,883 --> 01:32:14,652 You are making a living at that right now. 1662 01:32:14,685 --> 01:32:15,719 Yeah. 1663 01:32:15,754 --> 01:32:16,954 It looked good on you. 1664 01:32:18,757 --> 01:32:22,426 I summon sarcophilus satanicus 1665 01:32:22,459 --> 01:32:26,997 to come and eat the flesh of the wallaby. 1666 01:32:27,031 --> 01:32:29,099 I can totally see through Steve-O's. 1667 01:32:34,905 --> 01:32:37,975 This is so gross, man. 1668 01:32:38,008 --> 01:32:40,044 Can we get one with the finger in your mouth? 1669 01:32:43,213 --> 01:32:46,317 I'm gonna shit my pants before we get to that fuckin' place. 1670 01:32:46,350 --> 01:32:49,019 I'm Dave england and I got to take a shit. 1671 01:32:53,257 --> 01:32:55,492 I hope you're gonna get that son of a bitch. 1672 01:32:55,526 --> 01:32:59,129 I took a huge coil in there and it stunk so bad. 1673 01:32:59,163 --> 01:33:02,833 Weren't you on 90210 not too long ago... 1674 01:33:10,040 --> 01:33:11,275 Hey, come here. Jump... 1675 01:33:13,778 --> 01:33:16,113 Get it off! Get it off! 1676 01:33:16,146 --> 01:33:18,048 Hold the collar up so I can see it. 1677 01:33:21,618 --> 01:33:23,554 Did I get you? 1678 01:33:23,587 --> 01:33:28,827 We're going to convince kosick that this is a piece of audio equipment. 1679 01:33:28,859 --> 01:33:30,961 Unbeknownst to him, he's gonna be shocked. 1680 01:33:30,994 --> 01:33:32,363 Yeah, it's a microphone. 1681 01:33:32,396 --> 01:33:33,397 I don't hear nothing. 1682 01:33:40,371 --> 01:33:41,605 Stop it now. Stop it. 1683 01:33:44,608 --> 01:33:46,009 Hey, let's eat. 1684 01:33:46,043 --> 01:33:47,678 Who wants some? 1685 01:33:47,711 --> 01:33:48,912 Face your fears. 1686 01:33:50,881 --> 01:33:55,185 He put his hands down! What a pussy. Don't look. 1687 01:33:55,219 --> 01:33:58,255 Dude, just kick back. It's not like we really care. 1688 01:33:59,456 --> 01:34:00,657 Dude, dude! 1689 01:34:03,394 --> 01:34:04,695 Ow, ow! Dude! 1690 01:34:04,728 --> 01:34:06,430 Dude! Chill! 1691 01:34:06,463 --> 01:34:07,965 Chill, dude! 1692 01:34:07,998 --> 01:34:09,433 It's for the movie, dude. 1693 01:34:10,033 --> 01:34:12,469 He kicked your ass, dude. 1694 01:34:16,740 --> 01:34:18,542 How's raab not in this? 1695 01:34:18,575 --> 01:34:20,487 I'm the smart one. I already know what's going to happen. 1696 01:34:20,511 --> 01:34:23,313 Hey, I'm raab himself and this is bungy-wedgie. 1697 01:34:32,956 --> 01:34:34,358 Watch out. 1698 01:34:39,663 --> 01:34:40,697 Stop it! 1699 01:34:44,769 --> 01:34:46,136 Oh! You got my nuts! 1700 01:34:47,004 --> 01:34:48,605 Oh, man, I'm stuck. 1701 01:35:07,090 --> 01:35:09,359 And cut. 112337