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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,853 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:01,858 --> 00:00:04,114 This city is an assault on my senses. 3 00:00:04,233 --> 00:00:06,338 Who the hell is Galvan/Powell Group? 4 00:00:06,343 --> 00:00:08,457 You have no idea who you are dealing with. 5 00:00:08,462 --> 00:00:10,029 Constellation Ursa Major. 6 00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:12,151 That is where we will find Goliath. 7 00:00:12,156 --> 00:00:14,626 People already think Patience is a murder town. 8 00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:16,761 You want them to think it's an alien town too? 9 00:00:16,762 --> 00:00:19,126 Jessup is trying to build a five-star resort. 10 00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:20,728 Who says it's gotta be Jessup? 11 00:00:20,733 --> 00:00:22,405 That Grady property up on the ridge 12 00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:23,977 is beggin' to be developed. 13 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,210 I think you're pregnant. 14 00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:27,220 When you're ready, it'll be there. 15 00:00:27,225 --> 00:00:28,804 - Dr. Smallwood... - He's trying to fire you. 16 00:00:28,808 --> 00:00:30,549 And now we officially have no doctor. 17 00:00:30,554 --> 00:00:32,273 Dr. Vanderspeigle is our only real candidate. 18 00:00:32,274 --> 00:00:33,821 He has a birthday comin' up. 19 00:00:34,488 --> 00:00:36,621 The alien we went to see was dead. 20 00:00:36,626 --> 00:00:38,628 Goliath held out for as long as he could. 21 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:40,861 - But he gave birth to an egg. - No! 22 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,323 And now it's in Harry's bag. 23 00:00:42,328 --> 00:00:44,463 Do you even know when it will hatch? 24 00:00:44,468 --> 00:00:46,144 ALL: Surprise! 25 00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:13,058 So where is this alien ball, 26 00:01:13,359 --> 00:01:15,995 and how do I know that video wasn't a fake? 27 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,596 You're gonna have to trust me. 28 00:01:17,601 --> 00:01:20,261 Last time I saw you, I was going to have you killed. 29 00:01:20,975 --> 00:01:23,934 Seems like trusting you is moving backwards. 30 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,667 I want to see it. 31 00:01:41,256 --> 00:01:42,800 What do you want? 32 00:01:44,085 --> 00:01:47,436 I give you the ball, I get my life back... 33 00:01:47,636 --> 00:01:50,803 Honorable discharge, full pension. 34 00:01:50,808 --> 00:01:52,634 - Nobody trying to... - [GUNSHOT] 35 00:02:07,368 --> 00:02:10,368 [BROWN BIRD'S "BILGEWATER" PLAYS] 36 00:02:14,797 --> 00:02:17,651 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 37 00:02:18,119 --> 00:02:19,686 Get out of my house! 38 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,130 Happy Birthday, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 39 00:02:23,135 --> 00:02:24,551 Glad to have you back in Patience. 40 00:02:24,556 --> 00:02:27,122 Wow, Harry. It's a surprise party. 41 00:02:27,127 --> 00:02:29,226 That's right. Honoring the birthday 42 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:31,669 of one of our town's most esteemed residents, 43 00:02:31,674 --> 00:02:32,833 Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle. 44 00:02:32,838 --> 00:02:34,957 Here's to another trip around the Sun, Dr. V. 45 00:02:35,263 --> 00:02:36,829 By the way, the break and enter was Ben's idea. 46 00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:39,401 Ah, now, now. No breaking, just entering. 47 00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:40,702 The door was unlocked. 48 00:02:40,707 --> 00:02:41,965 Yeah, after you climbed through the window 49 00:02:41,969 --> 00:02:43,033 and unlocked it. 50 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,315 Out of respect for our wonderful friend... 51 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,427 Nay, our partner, really... 52 00:02:47,432 --> 00:02:50,505 Who deserves to be celebrated for, if nothing else, 53 00:02:50,510 --> 00:02:51,575 his kindness. 54 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,677 You are all trespassing and should be in prison. 55 00:02:54,682 --> 00:02:55,813 [LAUGHTER] 56 00:02:55,818 --> 00:02:57,607 - He's jokin'. - No he's not. 57 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:58,899 Thanks for the heads-up. 58 00:02:58,904 --> 00:03:00,460 I wasn't invited. I'm just hungry. 59 00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:01,932 Here, let me grab this for you. 60 00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:03,502 No! I can put that away! 61 00:03:03,507 --> 00:03:05,955 Ah, no way. No worrying about luggage for you. 62 00:03:07,414 --> 00:03:08,850 Whoa, close call there. [CHUCKLES] 63 00:03:09,035 --> 00:03:11,298 All right, let's get the festivities started. 64 00:03:11,303 --> 00:03:14,875 I do not like having people at my house uninvited. 65 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,969 Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here. 66 00:03:18,377 --> 00:03:19,524 Okay, I'll get rid of everyone. 67 00:03:19,528 --> 00:03:21,138 Just take that thing downstairs. 68 00:03:21,143 --> 00:03:23,018 Only half of it is "thing." 69 00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:25,150 The other half is alien. 70 00:03:25,225 --> 00:03:28,184 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 71 00:03:28,478 --> 00:03:29,707 Sure. 72 00:03:29,869 --> 00:03:32,101 Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle, how was your trip? 73 00:03:32,106 --> 00:03:34,195 I heard you went to a medical conference in New York. 74 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,671 Yes, I went to an art party, 75 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,276 - and took illegal drugs. - [LAUGHS] 76 00:03:39,572 --> 00:03:41,415 You know, I went to an art party once. 77 00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,812 Well, it wasn't an art party. 78 00:03:42,817 --> 00:03:44,070 It was... I guess you could call that art... 79 00:03:44,074 --> 00:03:45,380 Do you have a pet spider? 80 00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:46,877 Because it's in your hair. 81 00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:48,160 - What? - Yeah. 82 00:03:48,165 --> 00:03:50,049 - Oh. - No, no, no. 83 00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:51,468 - No. No. - Yes. 84 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:52,638 Where is it? 85 00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:54,302 It is gone now. 86 00:03:54,338 --> 00:03:56,209 - What? - [DOOR CLICKS SHUT] 87 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:59,138 [PANTING] Mm-mm. Nope. 88 00:04:05,352 --> 00:04:06,440 So when you gonna ask Dr. V 89 00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:08,120 to be the town doctor, Ben? 90 00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:10,840 I don't know what you're talking about. 91 00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:12,534 Come on, man. This is what this is all about. 92 00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:13,930 You're wooing him. Look. 93 00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:16,067 Word of advice: get him drunk before you ask him. 94 00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,421 It'll help smooth the woo. 95 00:04:17,426 --> 00:04:18,949 I'm just showing appreciation. 96 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,782 There's... there's no woo. 97 00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,374 Hey, Ben. 98 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,816 Thanks for pulling all this together. 99 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,596 Um, Harry's not really feeling very well, 100 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,693 so maybe we could do this another night. 101 00:04:29,698 --> 00:04:30,947 Ah, can't. 102 00:04:30,952 --> 00:04:34,131 It's a special night for Harry, and if he's not feeling well, 103 00:04:34,136 --> 00:04:36,425 then by golly, we will nurse him back to health 104 00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:37,540 together as a town. 105 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,589 We're stayin'. 106 00:04:38,994 --> 00:04:40,604 [SNIFFS] Woo... 107 00:04:42,394 --> 00:04:44,323 - Ben, that's very... - Excuse me. 108 00:04:45,479 --> 00:04:47,176 Kay. An alien baby kills you, 109 00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:49,052 it's not my fault. 110 00:04:51,922 --> 00:04:55,089 I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. 111 00:04:55,284 --> 00:04:57,626 Everyone who is alive has been born. 112 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,197 It is not special. 113 00:04:59,202 --> 00:05:02,496 A birthday party is just a participation trophy. 114 00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:04,633 [SIGHS] 115 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,032 It's my grandmother's secret deviled egg recipe. 116 00:05:08,153 --> 00:05:11,105 I snuck into her desk and stole it when I was ten. 117 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,544 She's hated me ever since. 118 00:05:12,549 --> 00:05:14,899 Mmm. Well, these are insane. 119 00:05:14,904 --> 00:05:17,820 I mean, it's horrible to lose your grandmother, but worth it. 120 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:20,209 Last Christmas, she said she hopes she dies soon 121 00:05:20,214 --> 00:05:23,347 so she can haunt me and steal my soul. 122 00:05:23,508 --> 00:05:25,175 She holds a grudge. 123 00:05:25,454 --> 00:05:28,730 Mm, not for me. I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures 124 00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:31,268 or having my soul taken by an angry ghost. 125 00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:32,439 Just try one. 126 00:05:32,444 --> 00:05:34,397 I would, but I said no. 127 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:38,032 ♪ Know that I'll be coming right back ♪ 128 00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:39,794 ♪ Tomorrow's dream ♪ 129 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:42,175 Fine, yeah. I'll, uh, have a bite. 130 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:48,890 Oh, my God. Mmm. 131 00:05:48,895 --> 00:05:51,282 It's a delicate farm in my mouth. 132 00:05:51,506 --> 00:05:53,421 - Mmm. - No. 133 00:05:53,426 --> 00:05:55,026 - You doubted them. - I didn't doubt it. 134 00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:56,271 You don't deserve a second one. 135 00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:58,027 - No, I do. - The second one 136 00:05:58,032 --> 00:05:59,204 is even better somehow. 137 00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:00,863 It's like I can taste the farmer's wife 138 00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:03,011 calling her family in for supper, like... 139 00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:04,301 [INHALES] Mmm. 140 00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:05,977 "Comin', Mama." 141 00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,088 Mmm. 142 00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:09,747 "I'm comin'." 143 00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:12,745 But I wanna taste farm supper... 144 00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:17,464 - What did you do with it? - It is in the bunker. 145 00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:18,644 It is safe. 146 00:06:18,649 --> 00:06:20,285 Glad the alien in the cellar is safe. 147 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:22,576 Harry, what if it hatches down there? 148 00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:27,227 Mm, alien babies have a big appetite 149 00:06:27,232 --> 00:06:31,236 - for high-calorie junky food. - Uh-huh. 150 00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:34,506 There's nothing more junky than a human. 151 00:06:34,549 --> 00:06:36,290 We are in danger. 152 00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:38,208 We have to get everyone out of here. 153 00:06:38,212 --> 00:06:39,637 - [GROANS] - Make yourself look sick. 154 00:06:39,641 --> 00:06:40,681 Oh, that's good. 155 00:06:40,686 --> 00:06:42,557 Yes. Good. 156 00:06:42,562 --> 00:06:44,598 I have not done anything yet. 157 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:45,952 Oh. 158 00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,259 Sorry. 159 00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,521 - It's good, though. - [GROWLS] 160 00:06:52,171 --> 00:06:53,389 Oh, there he is! 161 00:06:53,394 --> 00:06:57,418 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 162 00:06:57,423 --> 00:07:04,269 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 163 00:07:04,274 --> 00:07:06,639 ♪ Which nobody can deny ♪ 164 00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:07,669 All right. 165 00:07:07,713 --> 00:07:10,019 You think I am a good fellow? 166 00:07:10,024 --> 00:07:11,139 And jolly. 167 00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:13,060 - And so sick... sick. - Mm. 168 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:16,330 Sick... of being alone, maybe. 169 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:17,599 It's your birthday. 170 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,767 It is your special day. 171 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,777 All this is for you. 172 00:07:20,782 --> 00:07:21,912 Plus, cake. 173 00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:23,792 If, uh, Jay ever shows up with it. 174 00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:25,312 Can it be pie? 175 00:07:25,317 --> 00:07:26,318 - No. - Pie it is. 176 00:07:26,323 --> 00:07:28,995 I feel better! You can stay. 177 00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:30,819 You sure, Doc? You still look kind of pale. 178 00:07:30,823 --> 00:07:33,042 It is my Dutch skin. 179 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,871 You hear that everyone? Our good cheer has cured him. 180 00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:37,651 I'm gonna get that pie for you. 181 00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,005 Great. I have enough eggs to last 182 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,915 all night, but we may need more ice, 183 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,787 because if they don't stay chilled, they go south fast. 184 00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:44,663 I got you, Deputy. You got ice down 185 00:07:44,668 --> 00:07:45,983 in that meat freezer of yours, right? 186 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,753 Do not go down there. 187 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:51,316 The floor's cracked, and if you step on it, 188 00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:54,604 you'll break your mama's back. Here. 189 00:07:58,182 --> 00:08:00,235 - What'd he say about my mama? - [SIGHS] 190 00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:02,676 Today is all about celebrating 191 00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:04,552 the birth of a man I murdered 192 00:08:04,635 --> 00:08:06,680 and threw in the frozen lake. 193 00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:09,542 Ice seems appropriate. [SNIFFS] 194 00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,554 Sulfur. 195 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,606 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 196 00:08:23,029 --> 00:08:25,125 Hello? 197 00:08:26,419 --> 00:08:27,420 Oh... 198 00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:32,340 [SIGHS] 199 00:08:32,952 --> 00:08:35,078 Wow, soda. 200 00:08:35,103 --> 00:08:37,192 You handling heavy machinery later? 201 00:08:37,197 --> 00:08:38,706 Right, you were out of town. We haven't talked. 202 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,277 I stopped drinking. 203 00:08:40,282 --> 00:08:41,483 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 204 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,884 - Since when? - 1:00. 205 00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,921 - Last night? - This afternoon. 206 00:08:44,926 --> 00:08:46,240 - You gotta start somewhere. - [CHUCKLES] 207 00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:47,528 You know, been eating healthy... 208 00:08:47,533 --> 00:08:48,796 getting back in shape. 209 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:50,554 Oh! I even started going to the gym again. 210 00:08:50,635 --> 00:08:51,767 Wow, I love that. 211 00:08:51,772 --> 00:08:52,986 Feels pretty good. 212 00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:56,832 Hey, still waiting on a invite to come here tonight. 213 00:08:57,212 --> 00:08:59,345 Email not a thing anymore? 214 00:08:59,427 --> 00:09:00,754 [WHISPERS] Open wide. 215 00:09:00,759 --> 00:09:02,082 - Hey hun. - Hey. 216 00:09:02,087 --> 00:09:03,554 You, uh, having fun? 217 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,177 Yeah. Um, are they gonna do 218 00:09:05,182 --> 00:09:07,413 anything about that sulfur smell? 219 00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:08,485 [WHISPERS] I'm gonna barf. 220 00:09:08,528 --> 00:09:11,090 I don't smell anything. [CHUCKLES] 221 00:09:11,658 --> 00:09:13,528 Hey, uh, remember when you were pregnant, 222 00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:15,927 and you had that sense of smell like a superhero? 223 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:17,924 Hope you're not pregnant. [CHUCKLES] 224 00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:19,551 - Could you imagine? - [LAUGHS] 225 00:09:19,556 --> 00:09:21,144 Yeah, right? 226 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:22,320 [SMACKS LIPS] Mmm, I'm gonna get 227 00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:23,800 some sweet gherkins. You want anything? 228 00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:25,066 Oh, sure don't. 229 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,067 Sure don't. 230 00:09:28,766 --> 00:09:30,226 This is a problem. 231 00:09:30,231 --> 00:09:33,652 Even at birth, my alien kind is very strong and agile. 232 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,773 That thing could be anywhere by now. 233 00:09:35,778 --> 00:09:39,347 If it were a fully human baby, it would be much easier. 234 00:09:39,352 --> 00:09:42,122 Human infants are the only mammal whose main attribute 235 00:09:42,127 --> 00:09:43,798 is helplessly flopping. 236 00:09:44,762 --> 00:09:46,670 Need some help with that ice down there, Doc? 237 00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:47,676 No. 238 00:09:47,681 --> 00:09:50,506 I am good at ice-carrying. 239 00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:51,658 [METAL CLANKS] 240 00:10:01,494 --> 00:10:02,839 You sure? I'll come down and help. 241 00:10:02,843 --> 00:10:04,318 No, no! 242 00:10:04,323 --> 00:10:06,412 I want to carry it myself. 243 00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:09,079 Ice feels good on my nipples. 244 00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:13,675 Thanks, Doc. Damn, you smell like sulfur. 245 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,590 What, you have an outhouse party down there? 246 00:10:15,806 --> 00:10:16,832 No. 247 00:10:16,837 --> 00:10:18,337 It is not sulfur. [CHUCKLES] 248 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,078 What are you, crazy? 249 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:23,376 It is the deputy's eggs. They are stinky. 250 00:10:23,381 --> 00:10:24,643 Well, that makes sense. 251 00:10:24,648 --> 00:10:26,432 Yeah, those things are delicious but deadly. 252 00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,899 You gotta stop at two, or it's like eating a butt gun. 253 00:10:29,582 --> 00:10:33,329 I would not fire a gun made out of butts. 254 00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:38,831 The mayonnaise is homemade, and I mix the yolks by hand. 255 00:10:38,836 --> 00:10:40,310 - Mm. - And I don't use 256 00:10:40,315 --> 00:10:42,774 canola oil like most people. 257 00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:44,140 The key is olive oil. 258 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,147 It really brings out the eggy flavor. 259 00:10:46,152 --> 00:10:48,462 Mm. Yum. 260 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:50,590 - Just... excuse me. - Okay. 261 00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:52,017 - Just one second. - Okay. 262 00:10:57,245 --> 00:10:58,943 [COUGHS] 263 00:10:58,986 --> 00:11:03,643 [SIGHS] 264 00:11:03,687 --> 00:11:05,689 [SOFT MUSIC] 265 00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:07,903 ♪ And I'm sorry forall I've taken ♪ 266 00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:10,998 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've let loose ♪ 267 00:11:13,169 --> 00:11:15,857 ♪ I wanna be true ♪ 268 00:11:17,061 --> 00:11:20,847 ♪ I wanna be forgiven ♪ 269 00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:25,942 ♪ For givin' up ♪ 270 00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:30,146 ♪ On everything I knew ♪ 271 00:11:32,057 --> 00:11:33,842 ♪ I wanna be true ♪ 272 00:11:33,847 --> 00:11:35,757 I'm serious. If you're wearing nurse scrubs 273 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,546 and you're running, stores will pretty much 274 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:40,859 let you take anything for free. Uh-huh. 275 00:11:41,239 --> 00:11:43,458 Yeah. Of course. 276 00:11:43,918 --> 00:11:45,680 No, sorry, anything. 277 00:11:45,685 --> 00:11:48,601 Okay, so I marked all the military installations 278 00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,564 where they could be holding the alien ball. 279 00:11:50,739 --> 00:11:53,645 I circled the underground ones nobody knows about. 280 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,391 Ben's throwing a surprise birthday party for Dr. V., 281 00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:57,873 but he's just doing that to trick him 282 00:11:57,877 --> 00:11:59,738 into being town doctor again. 283 00:11:59,743 --> 00:12:01,570 It's this big secret. 284 00:12:01,614 --> 00:12:03,575 Yeah. I told everyone. 285 00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:05,966 Town doctor? 286 00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:07,528 What happened to Dr. Ethan? 287 00:12:07,536 --> 00:12:09,622 He left town the night the Men in Black were here. 288 00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:11,054 You mean the night you told the Men in Black 289 00:12:11,058 --> 00:12:12,539 Dr. Ethan was the alien? 290 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:13,719 Yeah, that night. 291 00:12:13,724 --> 00:12:16,216 Guess Dr. Ethan just didn't like it here. 292 00:12:17,499 --> 00:12:20,625 - Is your brain in your butt? - I hope not. 293 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:22,591 Don't you realize what happened? 294 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:24,763 The Men in Black took Dr. Ethan. 295 00:12:24,768 --> 00:12:26,765 As soon as they figure out he's human, 296 00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:28,641 they'll know the alien is still in Patience 297 00:12:28,646 --> 00:12:30,333 and come back looking for him. 298 00:12:30,338 --> 00:12:32,984 We have to go to that party and warn Asta. 299 00:12:32,989 --> 00:12:35,692 How? We have a babysitter. 300 00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:39,038 We'll get her to fall asleep. 301 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:40,566 I know what to do. 302 00:12:40,609 --> 00:12:43,669 Same way my Aunt Azadeh conks out when she visits. 303 00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:46,849 - Sleeping pills? - No... 304 00:12:47,825 --> 00:12:50,353 calm-voiced nature videos. 305 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:52,491 [SUSPICIOUS MUSIC] 306 00:12:52,496 --> 00:12:53,923 What you gonna do with all them pickles? 307 00:12:53,927 --> 00:12:55,363 Uh, those are not pickles. 308 00:12:55,368 --> 00:12:56,717 Those are sweet gherkins, 309 00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,187 or, uh, cornichons. 310 00:12:58,192 --> 00:13:00,629 Did you just correct me on how to say a pickle? 311 00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:03,311 No. I'm just sayin'. 312 00:13:03,937 --> 00:13:05,858 I'm gonna get some punch. 313 00:13:06,805 --> 00:13:08,807 - Hey, how's the punch? - It fell. 314 00:13:08,812 --> 00:13:10,155 What? 315 00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:12,155 What? 316 00:13:14,788 --> 00:13:16,264 What? 317 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,162 What? 318 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,161 - Oh, no. - Huh? 319 00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:23,602 I didn't... 320 00:13:30,529 --> 00:13:33,532 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 321 00:13:33,575 --> 00:13:35,241 It's pretty, huh? 322 00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,303 Yeah, it's amazing. 323 00:13:38,929 --> 00:13:40,143 I used to spend a lot of time here 324 00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:41,279 when you were dating Harry. 325 00:13:41,284 --> 00:13:43,634 Oh, yeah. I wouldn't call it dating. 326 00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,423 It was really more of a drive-by. [CHUCKLES] 327 00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,970 So any exciting news? 328 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,264 No, I haven't taken the test yet. 329 00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:56,537 If I take the test and it's positive, 330 00:13:56,759 --> 00:13:58,630 then I'm pregnant. 331 00:13:59,192 --> 00:14:01,056 Yeah, that's not how it works. 332 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:06,783 You know, I was just talking to Harry about New York. 333 00:14:06,827 --> 00:14:08,867 All I could think about was how exciting it would be 334 00:14:08,872 --> 00:14:10,467 to live there, you know? 335 00:14:10,743 --> 00:14:13,819 The art shows, the theatre, all of it. 336 00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:16,545 Why can't that be my life? 337 00:14:16,918 --> 00:14:18,470 I don't know. Why can't it? 338 00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:20,187 Because I'm stuck here, 339 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,106 pushing out babies like a stray dog. 340 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,243 Ugh... the ones with all the nipples? 341 00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:26,885 - So many nipples. - Huge, huge nipples. 342 00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:29,806 You adopt one, it turns over. Nipple. 343 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:32,801 [SIGHS] 344 00:14:36,644 --> 00:14:38,211 Come on. 345 00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:40,077 Let's go pee on a stick. 346 00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:41,249 Hold your breath. 347 00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:42,854 Liv just brought out a new tray of eggs. 348 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:46,910 Ugh. 349 00:14:46,992 --> 00:14:49,603 The size of the bull elk's antlers 350 00:14:49,608 --> 00:14:53,264 depends on how much sunlight the elk gets. 351 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:58,647 Here, this elk basks in the warm rays of the midday sun. 352 00:14:59,545 --> 00:15:03,660 A full-sized male's antlers can grow up to an inch per day 353 00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:05,673 during the summer months. 354 00:15:05,678 --> 00:15:08,279 They're typically fully grown by mid-August. 355 00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:10,592 If he is able to... 356 00:15:10,597 --> 00:15:11,642 Hey! 357 00:15:11,647 --> 00:15:12,657 Where are you going? 358 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,034 - Bike ride? - Taking out the garbage! 359 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,280 Just come home before your parents get back. 360 00:15:17,331 --> 00:15:19,131 No drugs! 361 00:15:19,507 --> 00:15:22,928 - She's a horrible babysitter. - Yeah. 362 00:15:26,462 --> 00:15:29,462 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 363 00:15:35,219 --> 00:15:36,357 Ooh... 364 00:15:36,362 --> 00:15:37,798 [SIZZLING] 365 00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:48,689 What the hell? 366 00:15:52,073 --> 00:15:53,369 Hmm. 367 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,340 - Harry? - No, just me. 368 00:15:58,345 --> 00:16:00,642 - Just me in here peein'. - Sorry. 369 00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:04,048 God, I can't hold the stick. My hand's shaking too much. 370 00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:05,432 Okay, give it to me. I'll hold it. I'll hold it. 371 00:16:05,436 --> 00:16:06,866 - You sure? - Yeah. 372 00:16:06,871 --> 00:16:08,978 Okay, it's in position. Go. 373 00:16:09,874 --> 00:16:11,740 And you just pissed on my hand. 374 00:16:20,754 --> 00:16:21,842 [KNOCKING] 375 00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:25,454 There you are. What are you doing? 376 00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:30,151 I am enjoying my birthday candy. 377 00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:33,109 Have you checked on the egg? 378 00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:34,590 'Cause if there's any chance that it will hatch, 379 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,577 we have to get everyone out of this party right now. 380 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,946 The party cannot end. There is pie coming. 381 00:16:39,028 --> 00:16:40,943 Do not worry. The baby will not hatch. 382 00:16:40,948 --> 00:16:44,822 It is definitely still inside of its shell. 383 00:16:44,827 --> 00:16:47,351 [QUIRKY MUSIC] 384 00:16:47,356 --> 00:16:48,661 Nowhere else! 385 00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,431 Okay. It's still a party, though, 386 00:16:50,436 --> 00:16:51,912 so you can't just hide in the bedroom, 387 00:16:51,916 --> 00:16:54,565 - or people will be suspicious. - Mm. 388 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,745 Come talk to someone, 389 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,357 and don't be weird. 390 00:16:58,923 --> 00:17:00,533 [WHISPERS] And here we go. 391 00:17:00,717 --> 00:17:04,146 I will talk to Dan because he has food. 392 00:17:05,617 --> 00:17:07,097 And that is not weird. 393 00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:11,029 Hi, Dan. 394 00:17:12,149 --> 00:17:16,022 Here is some money for my meal, 395 00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:21,009 and I'll also take a side of fries at the table. 396 00:17:21,014 --> 00:17:23,643 [RADIO MUSIC PLAYING] 397 00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:36,067 Really sorry about that. 398 00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:37,739 Oh, don't worry. 399 00:17:37,744 --> 00:17:39,353 I've been peed on before. 400 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:40,921 I have too. 401 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,579 I kind of like it. 402 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,064 I was talking about a frog I picked up when I was a kid. 403 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,448 Yeah, frogs. 404 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:47,492 Me too. 405 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,273 - [DEVICE CHIMES] - Oh. 406 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,278 Time's up. 407 00:17:57,416 --> 00:17:58,775 Shit. 408 00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:04,681 [SIGHS] 409 00:18:04,686 --> 00:18:06,986 [WEAKLY] Congratulations. 410 00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:09,162 You gonna tell Ben the good news? 411 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,114 Not until I'm convinced it's good news. 412 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:12,779 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 413 00:18:12,784 --> 00:18:15,439 Why? If you get overwhelmed, 414 00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:18,127 just think back on a time when life was simple, 415 00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:19,481 and you were just a woman 416 00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:20,869 pissin' on another woman. 417 00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:22,571 [LAUGHS] 418 00:18:22,615 --> 00:18:24,269 You got this, Hawthorne. 419 00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:25,918 [LAUGHS] 420 00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:28,751 [LOGAN STAATS' "VAMPIRES" PLAYS] 421 00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:30,723 ♪ Please darlin' ♪ 422 00:18:30,728 --> 00:18:34,279 ♪ Take mercy on my broken heart, yeah ♪ 423 00:18:34,284 --> 00:18:36,972 ♪ And take my soul if you want what's left of it ♪ 424 00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:38,152 You're not gonna believe it. 425 00:18:38,157 --> 00:18:41,290 Eugena Plunkett came in, saying she saw a UFO 426 00:18:41,295 --> 00:18:44,167 a couple of months ago in Patience. 427 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,442 - Can you imagine? - That seems... crazy. 428 00:18:47,447 --> 00:18:50,121 Remember that camping trip when we were kids, 429 00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:53,695 like when Ben saw something, and he ran, and everyone 430 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,209 followed him, and I stayed back by the fire? 431 00:18:56,214 --> 00:18:57,755 Yeah, I think so. 432 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,096 But he didn't see anything, right? 433 00:19:00,696 --> 00:19:02,128 - No. - No. 434 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,874 Yeah. No. 435 00:19:04,918 --> 00:19:06,291 But I did. 436 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:08,791 Really? 437 00:19:08,835 --> 00:19:09,967 What? 438 00:19:11,256 --> 00:19:12,867 A UFO. 439 00:19:13,574 --> 00:19:17,143 A real-life UFO. 440 00:19:17,148 --> 00:19:19,193 Don't you wanna believe... 441 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,108 that we're not alone, 442 00:19:21,152 --> 00:19:24,357 like, that there's something bigger than us out there? 443 00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:27,718 Sure. Um, but not in Patience. 444 00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:29,546 I mean, we just barely got a pizza place. 445 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:32,146 I am sure there are not aliens here. 446 00:19:33,134 --> 00:19:35,092 You're probably right. 447 00:19:35,245 --> 00:19:39,289 It's just fun to think about sometimes. 448 00:19:39,294 --> 00:19:40,445 - Hello. - Hello. 449 00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:44,349 Jay's here. Okay. 450 00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:45,694 Pretend like you're talking to me, would you? 451 00:19:45,698 --> 00:19:46,916 I am talking to you. 452 00:19:47,189 --> 00:19:48,304 Right. Oh God. 453 00:19:48,309 --> 00:19:51,090 I'm so... I just get so nervous when she's around. 454 00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:52,440 I mean, I've been giving her space, you know? 455 00:19:52,444 --> 00:19:54,533 But I'm... it just feels like it's been forever, 456 00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:56,015 and her 18th birthday is in two days. 457 00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:57,061 - Am I talking fast? - Mm-hmm. 458 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:59,937 Talking fast. She's driving now. 459 00:19:59,942 --> 00:20:01,813 Yeah, she's our best customer. 460 00:20:01,818 --> 00:20:04,016 We've given her, like, six tickets. 461 00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:06,936 Oh. I'm so sorry. 462 00:20:06,941 --> 00:20:08,437 Mm-mm. Breathe. 463 00:20:08,442 --> 00:20:10,157 [SIGHS] Okay. 464 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,641 - Yeah. - [WHISPERS] She's coming. 465 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,630 - She's on her way. - Don't pass out. 466 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:17,860 - Hi. - Hey, how are you? 467 00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:18,909 How are you? 468 00:20:19,138 --> 00:20:20,298 I'm good. 469 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:25,167 Um, so my birthday's coming up, which you know. 470 00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,561 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there. 471 00:20:27,566 --> 00:20:29,133 [BOTH LAUGH] 472 00:20:29,138 --> 00:20:33,001 Yeah, so... look, I was wondering if you might want 473 00:20:33,006 --> 00:20:34,921 to do something that day. 474 00:20:34,964 --> 00:20:37,630 Just, um... Just you and me. 475 00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,096 - Really? - Yeah, you know... 476 00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:43,403 just, like, lunch or something. 477 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,492 It's no big deal. Just hang out. 478 00:20:45,497 --> 00:20:46,802 Uh... 479 00:20:46,807 --> 00:20:48,678 I would love that. 480 00:20:49,161 --> 00:20:51,150 Okay. Um, great. 481 00:20:51,155 --> 00:20:53,047 Pick me up at the diner at 1:00? 482 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,849 Maybe we can check out that new Mexican place? 483 00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,596 I can't wait. 484 00:20:57,888 --> 00:21:01,247 Okay. Um, I'm gonna go... 485 00:21:01,252 --> 00:21:02,597 I'm gonna go eat as much food as I can 486 00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:04,690 before Mr. Hawthorne kicks me out. 487 00:21:04,695 --> 00:21:06,480 Sure. Cool. 488 00:21:06,561 --> 00:21:09,521 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 489 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,166 [LAUGHS] 490 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,712 [LAUGHS] 491 00:21:30,019 --> 00:21:31,412 [SIGHS] 492 00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,387 [KNOCKING] Hey, are you okay? 493 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,263 Yeah, I'm great. 494 00:21:36,644 --> 00:21:38,515 I just need to pee. 495 00:21:39,638 --> 00:21:42,945 [SNIFFLING] 496 00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:44,175 [SIGHS] 497 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:49,300 [SCREAMS] 498 00:21:50,431 --> 00:21:52,694 Let me in. I know you're upset. 499 00:22:00,267 --> 00:22:02,939 I'm fine. Just... sneezed. 500 00:22:02,944 --> 00:22:04,924 Um, have you seen Harry? 501 00:22:04,929 --> 00:22:06,049 Don't be too self-conscious. 502 00:22:06,054 --> 00:22:07,697 I had a bunch of them eggs too. 503 00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:09,494 You get in line. I'ma be a while. 504 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,679 Don't stand by the door neither, a'ight? 505 00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:13,581 You're the one that said not to be self-conscious... 506 00:22:13,585 --> 00:22:15,195 Get away from the damn door! 507 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,218 - I still see your feet! - All right. 508 00:22:21,201 --> 00:22:22,855 [GRUNTS] Ow. 509 00:22:24,437 --> 00:22:25,775 Looking for something? 510 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:27,555 I wanted to heat up pie. 511 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,476 [WHISPERS] The baby hatched, and you knew it! 512 00:22:30,765 --> 00:22:33,082 What? This is news to me. 513 00:22:33,165 --> 00:22:35,428 How did you not tell me this sooner? 514 00:22:35,433 --> 00:22:37,486 Stop it. I saw it in the bathroom! 515 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,519 - [GROANS] - And it has teeth! 516 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,874 What kind of baby has teeth? 517 00:22:41,955 --> 00:22:43,479 Oh, an alien baby. 518 00:22:43,491 --> 00:22:48,148 They're very good at ripping things... or people. 519 00:22:48,185 --> 00:22:51,007 Everyone! We have to leave the house! 520 00:22:52,793 --> 00:22:54,041 No. No, no. 521 00:22:54,046 --> 00:22:55,099 I saw it run outside. 522 00:22:55,104 --> 00:22:58,601 Everyone, we need to stay inside the house! 523 00:22:59,364 --> 00:23:02,388 - Harry... - We should keep everyone together. 524 00:23:02,698 --> 00:23:05,849 Outside is not safe. 525 00:23:11,019 --> 00:23:13,979 Now, any cop that's ever been a cop in D.C. 526 00:23:13,984 --> 00:23:15,433 is there, right? Which is just... 527 00:23:15,438 --> 00:23:18,093 That's just the way it is at Kelly's when a cop retires. 528 00:23:18,558 --> 00:23:19,907 So the next thing you know, 529 00:23:19,912 --> 00:23:21,691 we hear all these people screaming, right? 530 00:23:21,696 --> 00:23:22,654 We don't know what's going on. 531 00:23:22,659 --> 00:23:23,954 Did a fight break out, you know? 532 00:23:23,959 --> 00:23:25,961 Who knows? And I look, 533 00:23:25,966 --> 00:23:29,448 and parting the sea of bodies is a goat. 534 00:23:29,453 --> 00:23:31,571 - What? - Jesse had snuck a goat 535 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:33,437 into the bar and just let it loose. 536 00:23:33,442 --> 00:23:35,270 [LAUGHTER] 537 00:23:35,275 --> 00:23:37,573 See, now that was Jesse! [LAUGHTER] 538 00:23:38,253 --> 00:23:40,081 Good to see you laughin'. 539 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:42,234 Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a second? 540 00:23:42,239 --> 00:23:43,327 Okay. 541 00:23:43,332 --> 00:23:45,065 Oh, and this other time... 542 00:23:45,869 --> 00:23:47,917 [WHISPERING] The alien baby hatched. 543 00:23:47,922 --> 00:23:49,053 It's loose! 544 00:23:49,058 --> 00:23:50,243 [WHISPERING] Is that a bad thing? 545 00:23:50,247 --> 00:23:51,659 It's not a good thing. 546 00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,863 Keep everyone together, and don't let anyone outside, okay? 547 00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:55,268 Harry's really worried. 548 00:23:56,209 --> 00:23:58,659 - He doesn't look worried. - Huh? 549 00:23:59,598 --> 00:24:02,297 [LAUGHING] I do not like this gift. 550 00:24:02,302 --> 00:24:04,168 Didn't I, uh, give you that last Christmas? 551 00:24:04,173 --> 00:24:06,393 Well, maybe if someone had invited me, 552 00:24:06,398 --> 00:24:07,650 I'd have time to shop. 553 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:09,425 Plus, it smells like doo-doo, baby. 554 00:24:12,176 --> 00:24:14,693 Harry, can I ask you a quick question about the pie? 555 00:24:14,698 --> 00:24:16,920 The mayor gives cheap gifts. 556 00:24:16,925 --> 00:24:19,217 Oh, actually he worked pretty hard on that. 557 00:24:19,222 --> 00:24:22,388 Not cheap. Uh, it happens to be beeswax, 558 00:24:22,393 --> 00:24:25,245 - nature's gold. - Isn't gold nature's gold? 559 00:24:25,425 --> 00:24:26,452 Not to Ben. 560 00:24:26,457 --> 00:24:27,806 What if it's outside? 561 00:24:27,811 --> 00:24:29,585 Then maybe we should stay here. 562 00:24:29,590 --> 00:24:31,288 And if we're going to stay here, 563 00:24:31,293 --> 00:24:32,729 we should open presents. 564 00:24:32,811 --> 00:24:34,592 - [WHISPERING] Asta! Asta! - Yeah, do not go outside. 565 00:24:34,596 --> 00:24:35,714 Asta! 566 00:24:35,719 --> 00:24:37,680 We should stay inside while we can't go outside. 567 00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,121 - Come on! - Come on! 568 00:24:40,683 --> 00:24:42,859 - Let's go to the other window. - [WHISPERS] Yeah. 569 00:24:42,864 --> 00:24:45,824 [EERIE MUSIC] 570 00:24:49,599 --> 00:24:50,948 [RACCOON CHIRPING] 571 00:24:51,084 --> 00:24:53,043 [NORMAL PITCH] Cool, a raccoon! 572 00:24:53,048 --> 00:24:55,039 Aw, look at the cute little... 573 00:24:55,044 --> 00:24:56,524 [RACCOON YOWLS] 574 00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:58,300 [GORY MASHING] 575 00:24:58,619 --> 00:24:59,702 What the? 576 00:24:59,707 --> 00:25:01,187 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 577 00:25:01,269 --> 00:25:02,270 [ALIEN HISSES] 578 00:25:02,275 --> 00:25:03,494 [BOTH SCREAM] 579 00:25:03,499 --> 00:25:05,109 [BOTH PANTING] 580 00:25:05,191 --> 00:25:07,352 Do you know what this means? 581 00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:09,519 Raccoon bones don't taste good? 582 00:25:09,524 --> 00:25:11,932 Harry is breeding alien babies. 583 00:25:13,973 --> 00:25:16,197 How long do I have to keep everybody here for? 584 00:25:16,202 --> 00:25:18,030 I mean, is it safe outside? 585 00:25:18,219 --> 00:25:21,033 Did the "humalien" thing run away? 586 00:25:21,038 --> 00:25:23,345 I do not know what the alien will do. 587 00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:25,134 It is a hybrid. 588 00:25:25,139 --> 00:25:28,500 The alien part of it will want to come back when it is hungry. 589 00:25:28,505 --> 00:25:29,863 It will know there is food here. 590 00:25:29,868 --> 00:25:32,175 You mean us, right? 591 00:25:32,180 --> 00:25:34,089 No, of course not. 592 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:37,615 It will want to eat the egg sack that it was born in. 593 00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:39,187 Okay. 594 00:25:39,192 --> 00:25:40,933 Then us. 595 00:25:41,091 --> 00:25:43,093 - Jesus. - I'll go downstairs 596 00:25:43,098 --> 00:25:47,886 and look for it, and maybe snack on the sack. 597 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:50,274 - Ew. - I need something savory. 598 00:25:50,279 --> 00:25:53,935 You know, about it maybe eating us thing... 599 00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:56,070 you got bullets for those guns? 600 00:25:56,976 --> 00:25:58,195 They're all loaded. 601 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,860 The real me was redneck-y. 602 00:26:04,637 --> 00:26:05,899 [SIGHS] 603 00:26:05,904 --> 00:26:08,167 Hey Dan. Uh... 604 00:26:08,172 --> 00:26:10,556 I've been carrying around some of Jesse's ashes with me 605 00:26:10,561 --> 00:26:11,779 for a while now, right? 606 00:26:11,784 --> 00:26:14,120 I'm thinkin' maybe it's time to let him go. 607 00:26:14,125 --> 00:26:15,339 You know, spread his ashes. 608 00:26:15,344 --> 00:26:16,828 I love that idea. 609 00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:19,652 I think you'll be happier not carrying that weight around. 610 00:26:19,657 --> 00:26:21,088 Yeah. Well, we used to fish 611 00:26:21,093 --> 00:26:22,747 together a lot. So I thought about 612 00:26:23,008 --> 00:26:24,956 doing it here, on the lake. 613 00:26:24,961 --> 00:26:27,316 You know, maybe we have a little memorial for him. 614 00:26:27,399 --> 00:26:29,096 I'd love for you to be a part of it. 615 00:26:29,101 --> 00:26:31,751 I'd be honored. Anytime. 616 00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:34,188 Great! All right, let's go. 617 00:26:34,194 --> 00:26:36,477 Uh, not now. 618 00:26:36,978 --> 00:26:38,632 Why not? 619 00:26:38,715 --> 00:26:40,020 Too windy. 620 00:26:40,025 --> 00:26:42,593 Not good ash-spreading weather. 621 00:26:42,598 --> 00:26:44,578 Well, you the expert, right? 622 00:26:44,986 --> 00:26:46,899 I'ma get me some food. 623 00:26:54,861 --> 00:26:56,689 Hey! Dr. V! 624 00:26:56,694 --> 00:26:58,438 Just, uh, thought I'd say hi. 625 00:26:58,443 --> 00:27:00,997 Wow, great work space. 626 00:27:01,002 --> 00:27:03,862 You, uh, you build birdhouses down here? 627 00:27:03,867 --> 00:27:05,616 You, uh, you're a tinkerer? 628 00:27:05,621 --> 00:27:07,008 You like to tinker? 629 00:27:07,013 --> 00:27:08,309 Yes. 630 00:27:08,314 --> 00:27:10,403 Sometimes it makes me shiver 631 00:27:10,408 --> 00:27:13,234 because of the warm urine leaving my body. 632 00:27:13,239 --> 00:27:14,977 Oh no, that's, uh... 633 00:27:17,018 --> 00:27:19,289 Anyway, hey, um, 634 00:27:19,543 --> 00:27:22,110 wanted to talk to you about something. 635 00:27:22,115 --> 00:27:25,945 Unfortunately, Dr. Smallwood has decided to retire, 636 00:27:25,950 --> 00:27:28,503 and we have found ourselves, once again, 637 00:27:28,508 --> 00:27:29,988 without a town doctor. 638 00:27:30,069 --> 00:27:31,767 - [GASPS] - And, yes, I can see 639 00:27:31,772 --> 00:27:33,034 by the concern on your face 640 00:27:33,039 --> 00:27:34,549 that you understand what a difficult position 641 00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:35,554 this puts me in. 642 00:27:35,559 --> 00:27:37,290 But you know what's even better? 643 00:27:37,295 --> 00:27:39,776 - [GROWLS] - Is you... returning 644 00:27:39,781 --> 00:27:41,698 as our town doctor. What do you think? 645 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:43,518 I will consider it! [GRUNTS] 646 00:27:43,523 --> 00:27:46,633 Oh! What the heck was that? 647 00:27:47,048 --> 00:27:49,367 It was an Earth animal. 648 00:27:52,091 --> 00:27:53,876 - It's a sick raccoon. - Mm-hmm. 649 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,884 We should probably go away. 650 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,054 Don't get close to it. 651 00:27:58,059 --> 00:28:00,230 Yep. Say no more. 652 00:28:00,235 --> 00:28:01,410 - That's my cue. - Mm. 653 00:28:01,415 --> 00:28:03,591 - Uh, I'll go warn the others. - [CELL PHONE RINGS] 654 00:28:06,416 --> 00:28:08,200 Hello? 655 00:28:08,393 --> 00:28:09,767 Oh, hi. 656 00:28:10,217 --> 00:28:12,132 Really? That's amazing. 657 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:16,861 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 658 00:28:23,210 --> 00:28:25,038 You know, if those raccoons do have rabies, 659 00:28:25,043 --> 00:28:26,431 we should find them and take them somewhere. 660 00:28:26,435 --> 00:28:28,302 Shit, I ain't messin' with no damn rabies. 661 00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:30,527 You know 100% of people who have rabies go insane, 662 00:28:30,532 --> 00:28:33,193 but only 20% of insane people have rabies? 663 00:28:33,198 --> 00:28:34,705 That's a Internet fact. 664 00:28:34,787 --> 00:28:35,962 Mmm. 665 00:28:36,005 --> 00:28:37,267 Oh. 666 00:28:37,272 --> 00:28:38,932 This stuff's pretty good. 667 00:28:39,312 --> 00:28:40,923 It's spicier than I remember. 668 00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:42,713 [SMACKS LIPS] 669 00:28:42,718 --> 00:28:44,328 It's tangy. 670 00:28:44,409 --> 00:28:45,411 You know? 671 00:28:45,416 --> 00:28:47,565 - I'll have some of that. - Yeah. 672 00:28:48,495 --> 00:28:51,412 Well, looks like New York's out of the picture. 673 00:28:51,417 --> 00:28:53,457 What? Why? 674 00:28:53,462 --> 00:28:55,073 Ben just got a call from some company 675 00:28:55,078 --> 00:28:56,906 that wants to put a resort here. 676 00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,593 Says he's gonna be mayor for decades. 677 00:28:58,598 --> 00:29:00,604 Nobody's putting a resort here. 678 00:29:00,992 --> 00:29:02,341 What are you talking about? 679 00:29:02,346 --> 00:29:03,556 I don't know. He says he took pictures 680 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,257 of the Grady land to sell them on the idea, 681 00:29:05,262 --> 00:29:06,742 and now they want to do it. 682 00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:08,472 What? He said he was using 683 00:29:08,477 --> 00:29:10,305 those pictures for the town website. 684 00:29:11,786 --> 00:29:13,048 What? 685 00:29:13,053 --> 00:29:14,228 Excuse me. 686 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:19,353 Hey, didn't realize you were still here. 687 00:29:19,358 --> 00:29:21,118 Yeah, just thought I'd grab something to eat. 688 00:29:21,299 --> 00:29:23,275 That was like an hour ago. 689 00:29:23,318 --> 00:29:25,059 I guess I've been eating for an hour. 690 00:29:26,622 --> 00:29:28,101 - Huh. - Mm-hmm. 691 00:29:28,106 --> 00:29:29,233 [MUTTERS] Didn't realize I hired Jughead 692 00:29:29,237 --> 00:29:31,065 to deliver the cake. 693 00:29:31,148 --> 00:29:32,758 Hey, what are you two talking about? 694 00:29:32,763 --> 00:29:34,852 Oh, I was just catching up with D'arcy 695 00:29:34,857 --> 00:29:37,077 about the pictures that you took for the resort. 696 00:29:37,082 --> 00:29:38,634 You know, the ones that you lied to me about, 697 00:29:38,638 --> 00:29:40,599 that you said were for the "town website." 698 00:29:40,604 --> 00:29:42,985 Well, I plan on using those pictures for the town website 699 00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:44,865 as well, so... not a lie. 700 00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:46,254 Hey, uh, should I order more food? 701 00:29:46,259 --> 00:29:48,271 'Cause Jay is going through it like a lawnmower. 702 00:29:48,276 --> 00:29:50,302 Nope, you totally lied to me. 703 00:29:50,307 --> 00:29:51,385 I mean, Jesus. 704 00:29:51,390 --> 00:29:53,348 We spent the whole day rock climbing, ATVing, 705 00:29:53,353 --> 00:29:54,781 what, so you could just bring in a resort 706 00:29:54,785 --> 00:29:56,076 and destroy the town? 707 00:29:56,081 --> 00:29:57,935 Uh, you went rock climbing? 708 00:29:57,940 --> 00:29:59,724 [STAMMERING] A little bit... small rock. 709 00:29:59,729 --> 00:30:02,227 So when I got home from my mom's, and I said, you know, 710 00:30:02,232 --> 00:30:04,306 "What have you been doing?" and you said, "Nothing," 711 00:30:04,311 --> 00:30:07,451 was "nothing" rock climbing with D'arcy? 712 00:30:07,456 --> 00:30:08,799 Uh... you know, I mean, 713 00:30:08,804 --> 00:30:12,013 isn't "nothing" kind of like a catchall expression? 714 00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,190 I mean, it really could mean lots of different things. 715 00:30:13,194 --> 00:30:14,674 No. It means nothing. 716 00:30:14,679 --> 00:30:17,072 You know, what you and D'arcy did, it wasn't nothing. 717 00:30:17,077 --> 00:30:19,122 It was something, and for some reason, 718 00:30:19,127 --> 00:30:21,502 you just didn't tell me about it. 719 00:30:21,507 --> 00:30:22,852 I just didn't think it was a big deal. 720 00:30:22,856 --> 00:30:24,586 Oh shit. Uh, look. 721 00:30:24,591 --> 00:30:26,463 I hate to insert myself here, 722 00:30:26,468 --> 00:30:28,465 but it looks like Ben could use a little help, 723 00:30:28,470 --> 00:30:30,826 so just know D'arcy kissed Ben, 724 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:31,948 not the other way around. 725 00:30:31,953 --> 00:30:33,923 He's a completely innocent bystander. 726 00:30:34,627 --> 00:30:36,343 You kissed Ben? 727 00:30:41,931 --> 00:30:44,790 What a fun development. You two kissed... 728 00:30:44,795 --> 00:30:46,456 - each other! - I told you to tell her 729 00:30:46,461 --> 00:30:47,810 about the kiss. 730 00:30:48,057 --> 00:30:49,449 You know, this is on me. 731 00:30:49,454 --> 00:30:52,036 I was drunk and in a really horrible place. 732 00:30:52,079 --> 00:30:53,425 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. 733 00:30:53,429 --> 00:30:54,991 - It's not Ben's fault. - Well put. 734 00:30:54,996 --> 00:30:56,258 Well, if it wasn't your fault, 735 00:30:56,263 --> 00:30:57,566 then why wouldn't you just tell me about it? 736 00:30:57,570 --> 00:30:58,951 I mean, then again, why would you? 737 00:30:58,956 --> 00:31:00,697 'Cause I'm only just now hearing about you putting 738 00:31:00,701 --> 00:31:02,308 a stupid resort in town. 739 00:31:02,313 --> 00:31:03,439 What resort? 740 00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:05,199 You can't put a resort in Patience. 741 00:31:05,204 --> 00:31:07,090 See? I didn't tell anybody. 742 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:09,658 Is this the resort you were talking about that Ben wanted? 743 00:31:09,663 --> 00:31:10,968 Yeah. I think it's a bad idea. 744 00:31:10,973 --> 00:31:12,142 So does my mom. 745 00:31:12,147 --> 00:31:13,837 I might've told Mike, thought he could keep a secret. 746 00:31:13,841 --> 00:31:15,364 You can't keep secrets from somebody 747 00:31:15,369 --> 00:31:16,840 who buys your bear claws every morning. 748 00:31:16,844 --> 00:31:19,238 It took two bear claws to find out about the kiss. 749 00:31:19,243 --> 00:31:20,852 Why is everyone listening to this? 750 00:31:20,857 --> 00:31:23,988 'Cause you're having a public fight, and we have ears. 751 00:31:23,993 --> 00:31:25,066 I'm not having a fight. 752 00:31:25,071 --> 00:31:26,375 I am explaining to my wife 753 00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,415 why I didn't tell her about hanging out with D'arcy 754 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:29,470 a couple nights ago. 755 00:31:29,475 --> 00:31:30,635 So you hung out at night too? 756 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:31,723 Okay, now it's a fight. 757 00:31:31,728 --> 00:31:32,903 I'm not fighting. 758 00:31:32,908 --> 00:31:34,649 I don't care if he hangs out with D'arcy. 759 00:31:34,654 --> 00:31:36,641 They're friends. I... I... 760 00:31:36,646 --> 00:31:37,766 I just don't know why you wouldn't 761 00:31:37,770 --> 00:31:39,214 just tell me about this. 762 00:31:39,784 --> 00:31:43,343 After we left the Grady land, D'Arcy came back to the house. 763 00:31:43,348 --> 00:31:46,090 She found some weed that she had hid in Max's closet, 764 00:31:46,095 --> 00:31:47,270 and we smoked it. 765 00:31:47,275 --> 00:31:49,785 Wait, you hid pot in my son's closet? 766 00:31:49,790 --> 00:31:50,961 Yeah, but I hid it back in high school 767 00:31:50,965 --> 00:31:52,179 when I was bangin' your husband. 768 00:31:52,183 --> 00:31:53,310 Ho, ho, ho... 769 00:31:53,315 --> 00:31:55,273 Thought it was time for a hard joke. 770 00:31:55,278 --> 00:31:56,356 - No. - No. 771 00:31:56,361 --> 00:31:57,754 Look, this is ridiculous. 772 00:31:57,759 --> 00:31:59,751 Nothing happened. She fell asleep. 773 00:31:59,756 --> 00:32:02,145 I tucked her into Max's bed. End of story. 774 00:32:02,150 --> 00:32:03,449 Wait, you slept over? 775 00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:05,670 Ho, ho, it appears the story has a few more chapters. 776 00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:06,820 Wait, you smoked 15-year-old weed? 777 00:32:06,824 --> 00:32:08,722 I did. It was not good. 778 00:32:08,727 --> 00:32:10,719 - Ben... - Yes, D'arcy slept over 779 00:32:10,724 --> 00:32:12,769 in Max's bed, and I am telling you now 780 00:32:12,774 --> 00:32:15,037 because I have nothing to hide. 781 00:32:15,042 --> 00:32:16,813 So where were you when I came home the next morning? 782 00:32:16,817 --> 00:32:18,718 Ben told me to hide. I snuck out the window. 783 00:32:18,723 --> 00:32:19,776 I made a gesture. 784 00:32:19,781 --> 00:32:21,338 You took it to mean hide. 785 00:32:21,343 --> 00:32:22,819 I also stole one of your kid's candy bars. 786 00:32:22,823 --> 00:32:24,223 - I'm sorry. - I can't believe this. 787 00:32:24,228 --> 00:32:26,099 You were hiding in my house? 788 00:32:26,213 --> 00:32:27,605 We hung out after that. 789 00:32:27,610 --> 00:32:29,856 You couldn't just tell me all of this? 790 00:32:30,222 --> 00:32:32,398 This whole thing was fake. 791 00:32:32,654 --> 00:32:34,438 I really thought you were my friend. 792 00:32:34,559 --> 00:32:36,663 No, I am your friend. 793 00:32:36,668 --> 00:32:38,442 She apologized for kissing Ben. 794 00:32:38,447 --> 00:32:40,640 I don't care about that, okay? 795 00:32:40,645 --> 00:32:42,576 It's a stupid kiss. Who cares? 796 00:32:42,581 --> 00:32:44,999 D'arcy was drunk and sad. Big surprise. 797 00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:46,364 You know, if you didn't freak out so hard 798 00:32:46,368 --> 00:32:47,844 about your husband hanging a sign on the wall, 799 00:32:47,848 --> 00:32:49,176 maybe he'd tell you more shit. 800 00:32:49,181 --> 00:32:51,716 Oh, oh, okay that makes sense. 801 00:32:51,721 --> 00:32:53,505 You're our new interior designer. 802 00:32:53,510 --> 00:32:56,191 Spend your time moving a coffee table across the room with Ben, 803 00:32:56,196 --> 00:32:57,722 because finding a single guy 804 00:32:57,727 --> 00:32:59,289 who's real and available is too scary. 805 00:32:59,294 --> 00:33:00,683 Well, maybe you should learn to talk to Ben 806 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:01,858 about your feelings instead of stuffing them 807 00:33:01,862 --> 00:33:03,381 inside a 90-mile vertical treadmill run. 808 00:33:03,385 --> 00:33:04,691 So is this what you do? 809 00:33:04,696 --> 00:33:06,355 You insert your drama into other people's lives 810 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:07,470 'cause you can't deal with your own? 811 00:33:07,474 --> 00:33:09,519 No, I'm dealing with mine just fine, all right? 812 00:33:09,524 --> 00:33:10,958 I'm working out. I'm in shape. 813 00:33:10,963 --> 00:33:13,105 I look great. I quit drinking for... 814 00:33:13,110 --> 00:33:15,110 - four hours... - You lied to me. 815 00:33:15,818 --> 00:33:16,914 You know what? No. 816 00:33:16,919 --> 00:33:19,048 I deserved it, because I have been lying for years. 817 00:33:19,053 --> 00:33:20,837 You wanna know the truth? I hate it here. 818 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,457 I hate Patience. I hate my life, 819 00:33:23,462 --> 00:33:26,277 and I hate that I really thought you were my friend, 820 00:33:26,282 --> 00:33:27,541 and I'm glad that I pissed on your hand 821 00:33:27,545 --> 00:33:29,058 when I took that pregnancy test! 822 00:33:29,063 --> 00:33:30,064 What? 823 00:33:30,145 --> 00:33:31,277 [SIGHS] 824 00:33:31,282 --> 00:33:32,696 I'm pregnant. 825 00:33:34,205 --> 00:33:35,677 [PARTY POPPER BANGS] 826 00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:37,880 Congratulations! 827 00:33:40,702 --> 00:33:43,618 Well, well, well, who's keeping secrets now? 828 00:33:43,623 --> 00:33:45,557 Um, not really the road 829 00:33:45,562 --> 00:33:46,903 you wanna be drivin' down right now. 830 00:33:46,907 --> 00:33:48,430 - Couldn't agree more. - Okay. 831 00:33:48,435 --> 00:33:49,922 Can you believe this shit? 832 00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:51,650 She actually thinks I'm afraid 833 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:54,179 of being with a single man who's real. 834 00:33:54,310 --> 00:33:55,432 That's ridiculous. 835 00:33:55,437 --> 00:33:56,612 Pretty much dead on. 836 00:33:56,617 --> 00:33:58,522 You are also really needy. 837 00:33:58,707 --> 00:33:59,844 - [SIGHS] - Perfect. 838 00:33:59,849 --> 00:34:00,860 Side with the man. 839 00:34:00,865 --> 00:34:02,395 These guys. Am I right, Liv? 840 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,591 I'm not afraid of being in a real relationship. 841 00:34:06,598 --> 00:34:09,035 What? Oh, coming. 842 00:34:09,142 --> 00:34:11,753 Uh, oh, hey, hey. Where are you goin'? 843 00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,190 Shit, unless you got another fight planned, 844 00:34:13,194 --> 00:34:14,800 I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the night. 845 00:34:14,804 --> 00:34:18,063 No, no. Um, you can't leave yet... 846 00:34:18,068 --> 00:34:22,725 because we still have cake! [GIGGLES] 847 00:34:22,919 --> 00:34:24,118 Whoo. 848 00:34:31,386 --> 00:34:32,774 I'm sorry. 849 00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:37,173 I'm really sorry. [STAMMERS] I... 850 00:34:37,871 --> 00:34:41,017 I should've told you about the D'arcy stuff. 851 00:34:44,177 --> 00:34:47,658 I figure you're probably, at this point, well aware, 852 00:34:47,663 --> 00:34:49,142 but um, 853 00:34:49,681 --> 00:34:51,908 you're married to a dipshit. 854 00:34:57,557 --> 00:34:58,887 [SIGHS] I'm sorry. 855 00:34:58,892 --> 00:35:00,720 I should've told you about the... 856 00:35:01,329 --> 00:35:03,025 [SIGHS] you know... 857 00:35:04,544 --> 00:35:05,850 Why didn't you tell me? 858 00:35:05,855 --> 00:35:08,455 I don't know. I don't know... I... 859 00:35:08,684 --> 00:35:10,580 [SIGHS] Was... 860 00:35:10,904 --> 00:35:15,517 scared, and we don't really talk anymore. 861 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:20,478 Anytime anything remotely uncomfortable comes up, 862 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,475 we just... we just have sex 863 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,482 instead of talking about what's really going on. 864 00:35:25,150 --> 00:35:26,317 Then, then... 865 00:35:26,322 --> 00:35:28,853 Let's talk. Right now. 866 00:35:30,010 --> 00:35:32,064 We're gonna have a baby. 867 00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:34,144 Yeah. 868 00:35:36,407 --> 00:35:38,353 That's... 869 00:35:39,106 --> 00:35:40,119 a lot. 870 00:35:42,370 --> 00:35:44,295 It's a lot, a lot. 871 00:35:53,717 --> 00:35:59,643 ALL: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harry ♪ 872 00:35:59,835 --> 00:36:06,189 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 873 00:36:10,132 --> 00:36:12,709 You can go ahead and blow out the candles. 874 00:36:12,714 --> 00:36:14,324 No. 875 00:36:15,442 --> 00:36:16,878 I do not like cake. 876 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:17,923 Well, if you don't blow out the candles, 877 00:36:17,927 --> 00:36:19,251 your wish won't come true. 878 00:36:19,256 --> 00:36:21,163 - Mm. - I'll help you out, Harry. 879 00:36:21,758 --> 00:36:22,971 - Oh. - Oh. 880 00:36:22,976 --> 00:36:24,934 [DISTANT MOANING] 881 00:36:24,939 --> 00:36:27,866 And someone's having sex in the bathroom. 882 00:36:29,837 --> 00:36:31,614 Now, do not be concerned. 883 00:36:31,619 --> 00:36:32,991 These old houses... 884 00:36:32,996 --> 00:36:35,548 you can't beat them, but join them! 885 00:36:36,375 --> 00:36:37,789 Everybody just sit tight, okay? 886 00:36:37,822 --> 00:36:39,520 Nobody leave. Dad, can you help me 887 00:36:39,545 --> 00:36:40,717 go downstairs, check the breaker? 888 00:36:40,742 --> 00:36:42,135 You bet. 889 00:36:42,140 --> 00:36:43,735 Raccoons probably chewed through the wires. 890 00:36:43,739 --> 00:36:45,171 Yeah, you know, I got this call once. 891 00:36:45,175 --> 00:36:47,177 It was a woodchuck that got into a fuse box. 892 00:36:47,182 --> 00:36:48,956 Fried the poor little guy medium rare. 893 00:36:48,961 --> 00:36:50,485 Do you know what the crazy part is? 894 00:36:50,490 --> 00:36:51,701 You know what it smelled like? 895 00:36:51,706 --> 00:36:53,792 - Caesar salad. - Hmm. 896 00:36:53,875 --> 00:36:55,398 - Mm-hmm. - Delicious. 897 00:36:55,403 --> 00:36:57,361 Do not worry about the raccoon. 898 00:36:57,366 --> 00:37:00,228 I'm going outside to set a trap. 899 00:37:00,233 --> 00:37:02,405 Oh, I don't think raccoons eat pies. 900 00:37:02,410 --> 00:37:04,673 No. Harrys do. 901 00:37:04,864 --> 00:37:06,409 You can have garbage cake. 902 00:37:07,557 --> 00:37:10,104 Who keeps loaded rifles in their house? 903 00:37:10,558 --> 00:37:13,105 We're protecting ourselves from an outer space egg baby. 904 00:37:13,110 --> 00:37:15,284 That's the question you're asking, Dad? 905 00:37:15,765 --> 00:37:17,245 Hey, did you steal fruit? 906 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:20,036 Oh, yes, Mr. Biggins, I stole all the apples. 907 00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:21,681 - I need to be punished. - How about this? 908 00:37:21,752 --> 00:37:23,072 - [MOANS] - [WHISPERS] Jesus. 909 00:37:23,077 --> 00:37:24,165 I swear, Mr. Biggins, 910 00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,781 I didn't mean any disrespect. 911 00:37:25,862 --> 00:37:27,573 - [MOANING] - You in the right business. 912 00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:29,232 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 913 00:37:29,237 --> 00:37:30,655 Baby... 914 00:37:31,787 --> 00:37:34,698 Little baby. Agh! 915 00:37:35,997 --> 00:37:37,440 Baby? 916 00:37:37,867 --> 00:37:39,085 Come here. 917 00:37:41,971 --> 00:37:45,540 [FAINT TINKLING SOUND] 918 00:37:52,155 --> 00:37:54,549 - [RUSTLING SOUND] - Whoa. 919 00:37:54,592 --> 00:37:55,941 [SIGHS] 920 00:37:55,985 --> 00:37:57,739 What are you doing here? 921 00:37:57,958 --> 00:37:59,718 We came to warn you about the Men in Black. 922 00:37:59,723 --> 00:38:01,512 - They took Dr. Ethan. - What? 923 00:38:01,517 --> 00:38:04,312 In the spring, Max told them he was the alien. 924 00:38:04,317 --> 00:38:06,256 Hey, you don't speak for me. 925 00:38:06,337 --> 00:38:07,929 Yeah, what she said is right. 926 00:38:07,934 --> 00:38:10,390 Anyway, once they realize he's a human, 927 00:38:10,395 --> 00:38:12,030 they're gonna come back for Harry. 928 00:38:12,042 --> 00:38:13,749 Plus, there's an alien baby 929 00:38:13,754 --> 00:38:15,782 killing animals outside, just FYI. 930 00:38:15,787 --> 00:38:17,049 Yup. I know about that. 931 00:38:17,132 --> 00:38:18,916 Um, thank you for telling me. 932 00:38:18,921 --> 00:38:20,396 Can you please sneak them home 933 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,924 and make sure they don't get eaten? 934 00:38:22,006 --> 00:38:23,268 I'll take care of them. 935 00:38:23,273 --> 00:38:24,792 But it looks like you're not gonna have 936 00:38:24,796 --> 00:38:26,449 any lights for a while longer. 937 00:38:26,730 --> 00:38:28,143 [NORMAL PITCH] Okay. What are you guys 938 00:38:28,147 --> 00:38:30,454 even doing here? Don't you have a babysitter? 939 00:38:30,498 --> 00:38:32,108 It's Ellen. 940 00:38:32,113 --> 00:38:35,160 Say no more. Okay, get home safe. 941 00:38:40,551 --> 00:38:43,293 I think this is a really weird party. 942 00:38:44,462 --> 00:38:46,247 - Good cake, though. - Yeah. 943 00:38:46,252 --> 00:38:50,082 Am I a bad person if I like seeing other couples fight? 944 00:38:51,388 --> 00:38:54,926 - You're a horrible person. - [BOTH GIGGLE] 945 00:38:55,653 --> 00:38:57,525 [ALIEN CHIRRUPING] 946 00:39:04,621 --> 00:39:06,751 [LOW GROWLING NOISE] 947 00:39:09,850 --> 00:39:11,621 Honey? What's wrong? 948 00:39:11,626 --> 00:39:13,489 Something happened to me. 949 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,241 There's alien activity here, 950 00:39:16,246 --> 00:39:18,023 in Patience. I know it. 951 00:39:18,067 --> 00:39:19,938 What are you gonna do? 952 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,942 The only thing I can do. 953 00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:24,155 I'm gonna call the alien tracker 954 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,596 and tell him to come to Patience 955 00:39:25,601 --> 00:39:27,472 and find himself an alien. 956 00:39:27,477 --> 00:39:29,087 Sorry about that, guys! 957 00:39:29,246 --> 00:39:31,205 Raccoon definitely knocked out the power. 958 00:39:31,210 --> 00:39:32,995 Um, until we figure this out, 959 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,469 I think we should just stay put. 960 00:39:34,474 --> 00:39:36,955 Better call D'arcy. She just left. 961 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,735 [WHISPERS] Ugh, damn it. 962 00:39:44,746 --> 00:39:46,075 [NORMAL PITCH] Hey! 963 00:39:47,003 --> 00:39:48,222 - Hey. - Oh. 964 00:39:48,227 --> 00:39:49,905 - Nice rifle. - [SIGHS] 965 00:39:49,910 --> 00:39:51,707 You headed out to scare up some vittles? 966 00:39:51,712 --> 00:39:52,843 Didn't you hear? 967 00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:54,881 There's a rabid raccoon on the loose. 968 00:39:54,886 --> 00:39:57,207 Good. Maybe it'll bite me. 969 00:39:57,580 --> 00:39:59,582 If I start foaming at the mouth, don't shoot me. 970 00:39:59,587 --> 00:40:00,675 Just... 971 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,290 let me suffer. 972 00:40:02,372 --> 00:40:04,417 Don't listen to anything she says. 973 00:40:04,422 --> 00:40:05,554 It's not true. 974 00:40:07,943 --> 00:40:09,161 Yeah it is, though. 975 00:40:11,163 --> 00:40:12,856 Do you know what my very first thought was 976 00:40:12,861 --> 00:40:15,945 - when I met Elliot? - Nice ass? 977 00:40:15,950 --> 00:40:17,887 - Yes. - Yeah. 978 00:40:17,892 --> 00:40:19,887 Do you know what my second thought was? 979 00:40:22,479 --> 00:40:24,568 "How long till I mess this up?" 980 00:40:27,114 --> 00:40:29,399 What the shit is wrong with me? 981 00:40:30,748 --> 00:40:32,520 Okay. 982 00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,752 So un-mess it. 983 00:40:34,918 --> 00:40:37,132 - Call him. - Yeah, right. 984 00:40:37,137 --> 00:40:38,489 Call him now. 985 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:39,534 I have a gun. 986 00:40:42,136 --> 00:40:43,660 [GROANS] I'm not calling him. 987 00:40:43,665 --> 00:40:44,937 - Okay, I'll do it. - No. 988 00:40:44,942 --> 00:40:45,889 - Yeah. - No, no, no, no. 989 00:40:45,894 --> 00:40:47,152 - No, no, I'll just do it. - You won't do that, 'cause no, 990 00:40:47,156 --> 00:40:48,283 - I'll text him. - I'll call... 991 00:40:48,287 --> 00:40:49,985 Okay, I'll text him! I'll text him. 992 00:40:52,378 --> 00:40:53,973 [SIGHS] 993 00:40:55,077 --> 00:40:56,731 What do I even say? 994 00:40:56,736 --> 00:40:59,051 Uh, how about "Hi?" 995 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:02,166 - That's kind of brilliant. - Yeah. 996 00:41:02,171 --> 00:41:04,086 [CELL PHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING] 997 00:41:04,091 --> 00:41:05,965 Okay, it's sent. 998 00:41:06,300 --> 00:41:07,562 Ugh! Now I just have to be 999 00:41:07,567 --> 00:41:09,044 nauseous for two weeks waiting to see if he... 1000 00:41:09,048 --> 00:41:13,264 - Oh, my God. - [LAUGHS] Hey! Hi. 1001 00:41:13,269 --> 00:41:14,928 You're a goddamn genius. 1002 00:41:16,005 --> 00:41:17,964 - Hi. - Hi. It's simple. It works. 1003 00:41:17,969 --> 00:41:20,053 - Yes. Okay, are you gonna write back? - Hi. 1004 00:41:20,058 --> 00:41:21,930 No. I mean, in a couple days. 1005 00:41:21,935 --> 00:41:23,627 What am I, desperate? 1006 00:41:23,632 --> 00:41:27,626 Baby, this is for you. 1007 00:41:27,631 --> 00:41:29,851 [SNIFFS] 1008 00:41:29,894 --> 00:41:31,722 Mmm. 1009 00:41:31,766 --> 00:41:33,423 Come and get it! 1010 00:41:35,538 --> 00:41:37,304 [CLICKING] 1011 00:41:37,685 --> 00:41:39,227 Oh. 1012 00:41:43,342 --> 00:41:46,476 [WHIMSICAL MUSIC] 1013 00:41:49,392 --> 00:41:50,915 - [SQUEALS] - [GRUNTS] 1014 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,008 [YOWLS] 1015 00:41:53,135 --> 00:41:56,747 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] 1016 00:41:56,752 --> 00:41:57,970 [SIGHS] 1017 00:42:00,436 --> 00:42:01,872 Hello, Harry. 1018 00:42:02,047 --> 00:42:03,572 I'm Goliath. 1019 00:42:03,662 --> 00:42:04,773 Goliath. 1020 00:42:05,078 --> 00:42:08,734 Why are you inside a hybrid alien baby? 1021 00:42:09,529 --> 00:42:11,211 Clever, right? 1022 00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:14,156 I needed to send you a message, 1023 00:42:14,161 --> 00:42:16,461 and this is a big one. 1024 00:42:17,463 --> 00:42:19,548 First, you need to know that our people are not coming 1025 00:42:19,552 --> 00:42:22,073 - to kill everyone. - Why are they not coming? 1026 00:42:22,078 --> 00:42:23,513 Because it's too dangerous. 1027 00:42:23,518 --> 00:42:25,085 There's an alien race that's planning 1028 00:42:25,090 --> 00:42:27,332 to take over the Earth. They're here, Harry. 1029 00:42:27,337 --> 00:42:28,948 What alien race? 1030 00:42:28,953 --> 00:42:31,445 You must be careful. They are... 1031 00:42:31,956 --> 00:42:33,523 Wha... 1032 00:42:33,566 --> 00:42:34,829 Ah. 1033 00:42:41,021 --> 00:42:42,399 No... 1034 00:42:44,181 --> 00:42:47,614 You should've just stayed in Colorado and done your job. 1035 00:42:47,619 --> 00:42:49,090 You shot me. 1036 00:42:49,095 --> 00:42:51,830 Yeah, like you shot two of my guys in New York. 1037 00:42:51,978 --> 00:42:54,689 I should have never made you kill Sam Hodges. 1038 00:42:55,806 --> 00:42:57,822 I should have just taken care of it myself. 1039 00:42:58,251 --> 00:43:00,525 [GUNSHOT] 1040 00:43:05,903 --> 00:43:07,252 Asta. 1041 00:43:14,461 --> 00:43:17,246 [BELLE AND SEBASTIAN'S "THE BOY WITH THE ARAB STRAP"] 1042 00:43:23,789 --> 00:43:25,444 Holy shit. 1043 00:43:27,905 --> 00:43:28,921 [PANTING] Harry... 1044 00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:32,277 ♪ A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time ♪ 1045 00:43:32,282 --> 00:43:34,125 ♪ The odor of old prison food ♪ 1046 00:43:34,130 --> 00:43:38,016 ♪ Takes a long time to pass you by ♪ 1047 00:43:39,619 --> 00:43:42,619 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 73228

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