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♪ Upbeat theme playing ♪
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♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
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00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,344
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
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00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:14,369
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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So in addition, my client is offering
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00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,437
the townhouse on East 63rd Street,
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the oceanfront estate in Farhampton,
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and this bottle...
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of 1831 single malt Glen McKenna,
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00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,031
valued at $3 million.
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I was saving this
for a special occasion.
12
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:38,121
But without my Becky,
no occasion will ever be special again.
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Captain...
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I don't want your houses.
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I don't want your car.
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I don't want your private jet.
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You're having second thoughts.
Marvelous!
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Let's drink to celebrate.
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Maybe there's a bar nearby.
20
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,845
Captain...
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You broke my heart.
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You hit me where it hurts.
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So now,
I'm going to hit you where it hurts.
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Oh no. Rough seas ahead.
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I only want
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00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,112
three things.
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Boats, boats...
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- Please don't say boats.
- ... boats.
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Oh god...
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[pop]
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BECKY: That's right, Captain.
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I'm going to take
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all your boats,
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and I'm gonna sink 'em!
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Every. Last. One of them.
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- But, you love boats...
- I hate boats!
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SOPHIE'S SON [on phone]:
Mom! You left the story off
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on you in a restaurant, being stood up.
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You've got to stop with this
random rich couple.
40
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Would you trust me?
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They're going to come into play soon.
42
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So, I was waiting at the restaurant...
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Dear god...
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I'm being stood up.
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Sophie. Hi!
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- Hi.
- I am so sorry.
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I was on the train. I bumped
into that guy I got in a fight with.
48
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,079
You remember the dad with
the two 5-year-old breakdancing twins?
49
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,123
And I was like you shouldn't
make your kids perform like that,
50
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,875
and he was like, "They love it!"
I was like, "They're 5.
51
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They'd probably also love a dad
who obeyed child labor laws."
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Anyway, I didn't want a repeat incident,
so I got off the train, and I ran here.
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[clears throat]
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Okay, listen.
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I wanna start this off right.
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I went to see Meredith earlier today.
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Uh, she released a single,
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and I kind of spun out about it,
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00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,269
and I-I just needed some closure.
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00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,313
I-I hope you can understand that.
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Did you get the closure
you were looking for?
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I did.
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00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,112
- I'm glad.
- Me, too.
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Good.
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FUTURE SOPHIE: We'd waited
a long time to get to this moment,
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so we decided to take things slow.
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That was...
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Wow. [Jesse laughs]
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Yeah. Uh,
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I see your wow,
and I raise you a whoa.
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[both laugh]
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00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,115
You think that Thai place delivers?
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Maybe.
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Or we could just do that again.
75
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,907
Yeah. We'll eat when we're dead.
76
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,183
[both giggle]
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00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,438
On one hand, it's the best
cardiothoracic fellowship
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00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,982
in the country, and I got a spot.
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00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,115
Of course you did, Hannah.
80
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:13,110
You're like the ideal
cardiothoracic fellow.
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00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,696
Sometimes, I want to puncture
my own lung just so you can fix it.
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But it means another year
of long distance.
83
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,616
Year-schmear!
84
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,186
It's this ad I saw for
the cream-cheese-of
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00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:22,943
the month club, but it applies here, too.
86
00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:23,969
Hannah...
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00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,206
There's only one thing to do.
88
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,459
We've got to become
a bicoastal power couple.
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00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,714
We are going to scrimp and save, so we
can visit each other a lot more often,
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00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,633
and we've got the best of both coasts.
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00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,219
Bagels and burritos, baby.
92
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,888
I do like the sound of that.
93
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You always know just what to say.
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You wanna go do it bicoastal style?
95
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,189
What's bicoastal style?
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00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,525
I'm not sure, but I've got an image
of you in a bikini top
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and me wearing mittens.
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,945
Ooh!
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[door opening]
100
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,495
[door closes quietly]
101
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,873
Ellen, where have you been?
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00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,621
I can't sleep. I need
you to do that thing
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00:04:09,646 --> 00:04:11,293
where you scratch my back
and sing Enya to me.
104
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,982
And why do you have a cat?
105
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,923
Well, first I had
my interview at Goliath Market,
106
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,799
which did not go well.
107
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,301
- Ellen, hi.
- Hi.
108
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,720
I'm Mark, the lead producer buyer.
109
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Lead produce buyer?
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00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:26,683
So, you're like the... head of lettuce.
111
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,439
Y-you know, the head of lettuce?
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I'm sorry, I don't follow.
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Th-the head of...
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00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,825
After my interview, I went on OkCupid
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'cause I thought a
date might cheer me up,
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00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,952
but the woman showed
up with her husband.
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00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,079
And then I realized
that I had set my settings to
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00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,206
"couples only" for months.
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When I finally got home,
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00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,419
I found this little lady
outside the building.
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Think she's exactly what
I need right now. [meow]
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An emotional support animal.
123
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:01,301
[growling] Look at us.
124
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We're totally bonding.
125
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,055
[hissing]
126
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,683
Had something of a night myself.
127
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:10,352
Valentina let slip
that she wants kids someday.
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00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354
And I absolutely do not.
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00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,772
Really?
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00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,275
But, you're a bossy narcissist
with a sentimental streak.
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00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,569
I know. I mean, on paper,
I'm a born parent.
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00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,821
It's just...
[cat hisses, growls]
133
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,116
Having children turned my mother
into a mean, spiteful woman,
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00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,993
and I want to be kind and generous
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00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,632
and not the sort of person who throws
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00:05:27,657 --> 00:05:29,288
jewelry at their
children in a fit of rage
137
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:32,207
whenever the Duchess of Cornwall
cancels tea time.
138
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:35,586
Charlie, you and Valentina are still
a very new relationship.
139
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,505
Valentina's nowhere near
ready to have a baby.
140
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,133
- [bed creaking]
- Hi, Ellen. How'd the interview...
141
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,719
[gasps] Kitty! [cat growling]
142
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,013
Oh hi, little baby!
143
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,556
[growling continues]
144
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,224
Aw...
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00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,852
Mama loves you. Yeah. [meow]
146
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,520
[giggles]
147
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:57,065
SOPHIE'S MOM: We fell asleep
after an amazing night,
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00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,860
and all felt right with the world,
149
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,112
- until...
- I love you, Sophie.
150
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,114
♪
151
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,871
♪
152
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,839
- Hey, you.
- Ah!
153
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,591
I mean...
154
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,135
hey! [Jesse laughs]
155
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,137
Last night was pretty great, huh?
156
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:30,265
I mean, two times?
What are we, porn stars?
157
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,767
[both laugh]
158
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,728
I think keeping the laptop off
my crotch has really paid off.
159
00:06:35,424 --> 00:06:37,272
FUTURE SOPHIE: Son,
I'm not proud of this,
160
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,149
but I wasn't used to guys
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00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,693
wearing their hearts on their sleeves,
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00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,879
and it freaked me the F out.
163
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,072
You gotta go now.
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00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,242
I mean, I've got to...
165
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,910
start getting ready for my gallery show.
166
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,787
- Really? Already?
- Mm-hmm.
167
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,205
It's not for, like, 10 hours.
168
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,415
Yeah. But then, I...
You know, I gotta shower.
169
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,167
And then another shower,
170
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,752
and maybe squeeze in one more shower.
171
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,171
One thing you're going to learn
about me is I love showers.
172
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,590
- Uh, okay.
- Tata for now!
173
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,927
Wow.
174
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,138
All turned around
from two times with Jesse.
175
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,768
Wow. I have never planned two
weddings for one couple before.
176
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,812
Love the Pinterest board
you sent over, by the way.
177
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,731
Yeah! Dope boards, huh? You like
the rustic chalkboard table signs?
178
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,650
Truly inspired.
179
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,652
I've never seen anything like it before.
180
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,364
Anyway, here's what I think
we're looking at price-wise
181
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,199
- for the New York wedding.
- HANNAH: Okay.
182
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,038
Uh... I had to move my head
to get to the end of this number, Lisa.
183
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,623
This is too long of a number.
184
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,586
And here's what I think we're looking
at for the Indian wedding.
185
00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,506
Oh my god, you better
tell me that's in rupees!
186
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,633
What did you think
this was going to cost?
187
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,385
You're supposed to
enter on a white horse.
188
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,513
I can get you a great deal
on a white horse. Do not ask me how.
189
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,433
Okay, you can ask me how.
190
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,767
- How?
- How?
191
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,227
You've heard of Tiger King?
192
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,478
- SID: Yeah.
- Well,
193
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,522
I am in an on-again,
off-again relationship
194
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,899
with the White Horse King.
195
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:04,318
And right now, we are on, baby.
196
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,907
- She fits perfectly in my arms.
- [purrs]
197
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,618
It's like they were made for you...
198
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:14,161
Oh god.
199
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,413
I also just...
200
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,660
adore her. [laughs] [howling]
201
00:08:20,685 --> 00:08:22,078
- Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!
- Whoa!
202
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,339
I can't take this anymore. Valentina...
203
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,091
I don't want kids, okay?
204
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178
Not now. Not ever.
205
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:34,181
- Uh... What?
- Yesterday, you said, "One day,"
206
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,301
"we'd watch soccer
with our future children," and I...
207
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,645
care about you too much
to not be honest with you.
208
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,606
I'm never going to want children.
209
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,108
Oh.
210
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,694
Got it.
211
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,783
- Claw-kward.
- [growling]
212
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:58,330
I don't understand why you're
suddenly freaking out about costs!
213
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:01,291
You're the one who wanted
a second international wedding.
214
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,336
Yeah, when I thought our lives were
about to get way less expensive.
215
00:09:04,361 --> 00:09:05,803
Like, Hannah, I thought, we were gonna
216
00:09:05,828 --> 00:09:07,464
live in one city and
share one apartment,
217
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,716
not constantly be flying
across the country
218
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,886
to maintain some semblance
of a relationship.
219
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,306
What happened to us being
a bicoastal power couple?
220
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,933
Hannah, what do you want me to say?
221
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,185
Babe, I support you,
222
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,146
but we both know doing this
for another year, it's...
223
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,356
It sounds hard as hell.
224
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,237
Sounds like you're not
even sure we should be planning
225
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,239
one wedding, let alone two.
226
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:35,701
[sighs]
227
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,870
Bad news.
228
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,831
Me and the White Horse
King are off again.
229
00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,833
We're off.
230
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:46,587
FUTURE SOPHIE: I showed up at the guys'
apartment before my gallery show,
231
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:49,464
determined to talk about
the sleep "I love you"
232
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,175
and move past it.
233
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,803
After all, he was pretty damn cute.
234
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,889
- Hey.
- Hey.
235
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,642
♪ Soft, romantic music ♪
236
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:06,440
I, uh, I took the liberty of...
237
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,150
making you a peach margarita.
238
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,485
I even hand-muddled the peaches myself.
239
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,237
That's right. I muddle.
240
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:15,199
[clink]
241
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,912
- Mm!
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
242
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,414
[clears throat]
243
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,334
Jesse, last night, something...
244
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,171
funny happened,
and it's no big deal.
245
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,924
It-it kinda freaked me out,
and I just wanted to talk about it.
246
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,384
Okay, I'm not normally
completely hairless down there.
247
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,012
It's just I was listening to
a podcast while I was manscaping,
248
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,389
and I just completely lost track
of what I was doing.
249
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,849
No, not that.
250
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,601
Although, I, uh, was wondering.
251
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,231
Last night in your sleep, you...
252
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,650
told me you loved me.
253
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,777
Oh god. I did?
254
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:56,365
This is worse than when I sleep-sang
Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof
255
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,242
at overnight camp.
256
00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:01,078
In case you're wondering,
I remained a virgin that summer.
257
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,957
God, I already feel
better that we're talking,
258
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,668
and we could just laugh
about this together.
259
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,128
Me first. Ha! That was so crazy!
260
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,925
I mean, it's not that crazy.
261
00:11:15,524 --> 00:11:18,095
Well, it's not like we're two
strangers who just met at a bar.
262
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,888
We've been friends for a while now.
263
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,640
We've built a solid foundation.
264
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,059
I even said no to going on tour
with Meredith for you.
265
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,020
- You did what?
- Oh yeah.
266
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,424
Meredith wanted me
to play piano for her on tour.
267
00:11:29,449 --> 00:11:31,532
She also basically said
she wanted to get back together,
268
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,196
and both of those things would have been
269
00:11:33,221 --> 00:11:35,007
a dream come true a
few weeks ago, but...
270
00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,687
Hey, I-I didn't even give it
a second thought because...
271
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,616
I'm crazy about you.
272
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,244
♪
273
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,745
Jesse, I...
274
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,123
I like you, too.
275
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,710
It...
276
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,921
It's kind of a lot to hear
that you gave up going on tour for me
277
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,840
because it's what
you always dreamed of doing.
278
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,758
So-so...
279
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,718
what are you saying?
You think I should have gone?
280
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,514
I don't know. Maybe.
281
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,435
If you only said no for me,
282
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,520
and this is brand new. I mean,
283
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,400
we don't even know
if this is going to work out.
284
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,441
Got it. Uh...
285
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,028
So, you think I should
go on tour with my ex.
286
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,156
I read you loud and clear, Sophie.
287
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,204
I-I don't know what to say.
288
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,873
Uh, I do. I-I'd like you to go.
289
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,750
♪
290
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,792
Please.
291
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,879
FUTURE SOPHIE:
I had no idea what to do.
292
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,256
I mean, part of me
wanted to run back in there
293
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,051
and to tell him that
I had made a huge mistake.
294
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,761
But the other part of me
295
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,305
wanted to run as far
as humanly possible.
296
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,433
I decided to split the difference
297
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,477
and go to the bar downstairs
298
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,978
to clear my head.
299
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,274
Hm.
300
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,527
This is what this place looks like.
301
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,695
Weird we never come in here.
302
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,742
Uh, one whiskey, please.
303
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,661
Up, neat, and on the rocks.
304
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,331
That is not an order that makes sense.
305
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,124
Oh. [laughs]
306
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,419
Yeah, I-I don't actually know
how to order whiskey.
307
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,029
It's just been a day, and...
308
00:13:17,054 --> 00:13:18,441
it seems like the kind of thing
309
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:20,231
that people order
when they're feeling a little extra...
310
00:13:20,256 --> 00:13:21,677
WOMAN: Good extra or bad extra?
311
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,262
♪
312
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,225
Oh my god.
313
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,519
Robin Scherbatsky?
314
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,272
I know you from the news.
[laughs]
315
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,524
Hear that, Carl? She's a fan.
316
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:36,900
I have fans.
317
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,111
Yeah, most famous people
don't go around saying,
318
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,779
"I have fans," but okay.
319
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,459
What was that, Carl? I didn't hear you.
I was focused on my fan.
320
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:48,912
I mean, seriously, my friend Valentina
and I are obsessed with you.
321
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,164
I remember th-the story
you did on the bullfighters,
322
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,333
where you actually
got in the ring and got...
323
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,835
BOTH: Gored by a bull.
324
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,421
I loved that so much.
325
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,132
You're kind of a mean fan, huh?
326
00:14:00,132 --> 00:14:03,927
No! No, no. Seriously,
it was so bad-ass.
327
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,846
Well, it was bad for my ass.
328
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,931
The ER doc in Seville spent six hours
329
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,642
tweezing bullhorn fragments
from my left butt cheek.
330
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,019
But, uh, back to you.
331
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,854
Was today "good" extra
332
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,940
or "bullhorn to the ass" extra?
333
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,400
Really?
334
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,277
A big famous reporter
335
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,696
wants to hear about my stupid love life?
336
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,282
[sighs] Very, very much, actually.
337
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,494
Back in the day, my friends
and I wasted years in this very bar,
338
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,372
talking about our stupid love lives.
339
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,458
I stop in here whenever
I'm in the neighborhood.
340
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,376
- Hm.
- So,
341
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,171
please tell me your stupid love story.
342
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,798
Bring me back to the good old days.
343
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,344
Okay. [laughs] Well...
344
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,013
It all started in the back of an Uber.
345
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,515
Nice.
346
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:50,766
Not like that.
347
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:52,142
Boo.
348
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,188
I-I'm surprised that you're
so gung ho about this.
349
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,398
I'd assumed that we
were on the same page.
350
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,777
I know kids seem
very off brand for me, but...
351
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,488
I want it all.
352
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,365
A big career,
353
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:07,699
a big love story,
354
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,701
and a big family.
355
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,412
You really...
356
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,957
don't think you'll change your mind?
357
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,460
I don't think so.
358
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,588
You?
359
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,968
- I don't think so.
- [door opens]
360
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,137
[door shuts] [cat meowing]
361
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,598
She just reached under my bra
and scratched my nipple.
362
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,185
I think I'm in an abusive relationship
with my emotional support animal.
363
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,729
Maybe you guys just need
more time to bond.
364
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,939
No.
365
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,232
Time won't help.
366
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,150
Time hasn't helped my dating life.
367
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,861
It hasn't helped my job search.
368
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:47,155
It's not gonna help my relationship
with this feral cat.
369
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,575
Nothing is coming up Ellen.
[meow]
370
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,910
Say goodbye to Kate
Meow-Kinnon, everyone.
371
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,161
[growls]
372
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,125
- Rachel?
- Oh, perfect.
373
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,752
It's the girl who pretended to be
my dead grandma's best friend
374
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,337
to try to get in my pants.
375
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,839
Oh...
376
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,675
Just Ellen is fine.
377
00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,553
Is everything okay?
378
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,221
No.
379
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,765
I was moving into
my grandma's apartment yesterday,
380
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,310
and somehow, in all the craziness,
381
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,811
my cat went missing.
382
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,021
I'm your cat!
383
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:22,733
Sorry. I got too excited
and I tanked that.
384
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,611
But, I think...
385
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:27,738
I found your cat
wandering outside last night.
386
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,448
Oh my god,
387
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:32,367
my sweet baby!
388
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,369
Aw, you found Cal!
389
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:38,040
So, you took care of her last night?
390
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,416
Yeah. I...
391
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,503
Thought she could be
my emotional support cat, but...
392
00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:44,505
She hates me.
393
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,634
So, you two have that in common.
394
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,471
I don't hate you, Ellen.
395
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:56,725
You just made a really
insane first impression.
396
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,313
But maybe we deserve a second chance.
397
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,564
Achoo!
398
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,859
Oh...
399
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:11,281
How about a third chance?
400
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,243
Okay, just so I'm clear,
401
00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:17,621
you were really excited
to try being with this guy Jesse.
402
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,124
Right? But now that he's all in,
you're not excited.
403
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,752
Kind of. Uh...
404
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,463
We just got together, and now,
405
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,632
he's turning down tours for me
406
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,009
and dropping sleep "I love you's"?
407
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,011
Like, it's too much too soon.
408
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:36,890
I once had a guy say,
"I love you," on our first date.
409
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,434
Wow. [laughs] You win.
410
00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:41,353
Dude sounds like a real piece of work.
411
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,355
You have no idea. [laughs]
412
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:46,191
But, a good piece of work.
413
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:49,236
Which brings me to my advice.
414
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,365
Do not waste your time
being scared, Sophie.
415
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,326
Fear can make you run away from things
416
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,620
that could be good, great even.
417
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,837
Things that are supposed
to be a part of your story.
418
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,083
So, really think about it.
419
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,793
What did Jesse do wrong
420
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:08,046
other than say everything
you ever wanted a guy to say
421
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,966
just faster than you expected?
422
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,595
Nothing.
423
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,389
He did nothing wrong.
424
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,058
I'm just...
425
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,395
- scared.
- There it is.
426
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:28,317
Sophie, I have been married,
I've been single,
427
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:30,444
I have been everything in between.
428
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,488
And the only decisions I regret making
429
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,490
are the ones I made out of fear.
430
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,993
So do me a favor, okay?
431
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:40,746
Time travel 20 years into the future
432
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:43,665
and ask future you, "Future me",
433
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,584
"what do I wish I'd done 20 years ago,
434
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,336
"the night I met smoking hot,
435
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,421
"yet somehow still full of gravitas,
436
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,090
news superstar Robin Scherbatsky?"
437
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,260
And whatever future you says,
438
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,595
do that.
439
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,181
Okay.
440
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,767
I've got to go talk to Jesse!
441
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,979
You know, the-the truth is
my feelings about love
442
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,482
are complicated
because I never knew my dad,
443
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,317
and my mom's relationships were a mess.
444
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,070
Yeah, maybe save unpacking
your whole childhood for Jesse.
445
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,947
I have a limo picking me up in 10.
446
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,407
Yeah. Save it for Jesse. Okay.
447
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,825
Robin, thank you.
448
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118
Good luck.
449
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,371
♪
450
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:23,413
♪ Juliet ♪
451
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,083
♪ When we made love ♪
452
00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:28,418
♪ You used to cry ♪
453
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,712
♪ Said I love you like the stars above ♪
454
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,131
♪ I love you till I die ♪
455
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,134
♪ There's a place for us ♪
456
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,346
♪ You know the movie song... ♪
457
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,229
♪ soft music ♪
458
00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,568
I went to talk to Jesse...
459
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,194
No need to thank me. Just, you know,
460
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,238
name your first born Robin. [laughs]
461
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,782
And I-I walked in
on him with this ex.
462
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,660
Well, I was more helping
you get to the place
463
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,829
where you made that decision, so...
464
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,038
[sighs]
465
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,707
Y... Maybe,
466
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:09,668
he's not such a bad guy, this Jesse.
467
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:12,045
If I've learned
anything at all about love,
468
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,047
it's that timing is everything.
469
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,968
And sometimes, timing's a bitch.
470
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,221
Speaking of, I'm sorry,
471
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,224
but I have a dinner with, uh,
Savannah Guthrie and Katie Couric.
472
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,731
- You're gonna be okay.
- You promise?
473
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,399
I do.
474
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,651
But, I'll meet future you
back here in 20 years
475
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,403
for a drink just to make sure.
476
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,406
- It's a date.
- Good.
477
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,659
But that one's on you.
Mama's not made of money.
478
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,957
FUTURE SOPHIE:
And so, I headed to the exhibition
479
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:52,419
to see one of my photos hanging
in a real New York gallery
480
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,962
for the very first time.
481
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,423
I was determined to enjoy my moment
482
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,510
and forget about
any boy drama for the night.
483
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,597
Easier said than done.
484
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:06,767
♪
485
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:11,480
Ms. Tompkins, is that you?
486
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,565
Oh my god. It is you.
487
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,275
You are, like, my favorite photographer.
488
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,485
[excited squeal]
489
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:18,904
I'm so proud of you! [laughs]
490
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:20,906
Guys, thank you for coming.
491
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,534
[laughing]
492
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:28,455
What's... What's going on with you?
493
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:32,000
Okay, fine. I have a date
494
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,587
with the most beautiful girl
in the whole world.
495
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:36,630
And that's not all.
496
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,928
[musical ringtone]
497
00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:46,098
- Hello?
- Ellen.
498
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,141
It's Marc from Goliath Market.
499
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,810
I just got your joke.
500
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:52,437
I'm the head of lettuce.
501
00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:54,022
[laughs]
502
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,566
You're hilarious.
503
00:21:55,566 --> 00:21:57,359
I'm offering you the job.
504
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,278
Oh my god! Congrats!
505
00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:01,905
Thank you! Thank you.
506
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:06,243
I bet I'm the most successful lesbian
named Ellen in the whole world.
507
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,704
Oh.
508
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:11,373
There she is! Lady of the hour.
509
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:13,250
Oh, you guys. Thank you for coming.
510
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,460
I know you're just slammed
with wedding planning.
511
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,171
Oh, uh, actually,
512
00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:19,214
we are not slammed anymore.
513
00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:22,050
Wide open, actually.
514
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,305
- Because we're married!
- Oh!
515
00:22:26,305 --> 00:22:29,308
[all exclaiming]
516
00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:32,311
[overlapping congratulations]
517
00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:34,730
- HANNAH: Oh, thank you!
- ELLEN: Congrats!
518
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:37,733
Thanks. The weddings were just getting
so stressful and expensive.
519
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,068
We were like, you know what?
Let's just go to City Hall, get it done.
520
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,904
Well, I think this calls
for a toast, hm?
521
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,158
[Sid laughs]
522
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,995
Hey, where's your muse, by the way?
523
00:22:50,913 --> 00:22:52,831
He's...
524
00:22:52,831 --> 00:22:55,250
he's not coming.
525
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,961
- Soph, what happened?
- Um...
526
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:00,714
Not tonight.
527
00:23:02,674 --> 00:23:05,177
Sid and Hannah look so happy.
528
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,764
Who knows?
Maybe you and Charlie are next.
529
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:12,935
Um...
530
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,479
I don't think so. Um...
531
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,650
We broke up.
532
00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,361
- Oh, Val...
- Not tonight.
533
00:23:22,361 --> 00:23:25,364
Tonight, we celebrate my friend Sophie,
534
00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:28,659
the most talented
photographer in New York City.
535
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,754
So, let's get back to those rich
strangers going through a divorce.
536
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,089
SOPHIE'S SON: What? No!
537
00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:44,883
This is not a good time
to return to those boat freaks!
538
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:46,301
Oh, you're wrong.
539
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:48,262
It's the perfect time.
540
00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:50,889
And as Robin Scherbatsky taught me,
541
00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:52,808
timing is everything.
542
00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:54,852
I hate boats!
543
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,938
I haven't hurt this bad since
someone stole that pineapple
544
00:23:57,938 --> 00:24:00,607
off my front doorstep in aught five.
545
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,067
Oh, fine.
546
00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:04,027
You can have all the boats,
547
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:07,447
but not the one in Australia.
548
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:10,659
What those marine biologists
are doing down there is important!
549
00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:13,579
They're trying to help
coral reef procreate.
550
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:16,373
SOPHIE'S SON: Oh my god.
So, the Captain owned the boat that...
551
00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,584
- That's right.
- So, what happened?
552
00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:20,335
Did Becky let them continue the mission?
553
00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:25,299
♪
554
00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:29,344
Weird. That guy...
555
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:30,971
looks just like...
556
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,807
FUTURE SOPHIE: No, she did not.
557
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:34,975
Ian.
558
00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:36,810
♪ For one more try ♪
559
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,897
♪ At a happy life ♪
560
00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:41,899
[sighs]
561
00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:44,693
♪ So, what do you say? ♪
562
00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:48,322
- Hi.
- Hi.
563
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:51,241
Is this a good time?
564
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:55,579
♪
565
00:24:57,249 --> 00:25:01,249
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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