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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,960 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,350 - This city is an assault on my senses. 3 00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:06,310 [screams] - Who the hell is 4 00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:07,570 Galvan/Powell Group? 5 00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,400 - You have no idea who you are dealing with. 6 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,010 - Constellation Ursa Major. 7 00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,050 That is where we will find Goliath. 8 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,180 - People already think Patience is a murder town. 9 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:17,660 You want them to think it's an alien town too? 10 00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,880 - Jessup is trying to build a five-star resort. 11 00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:21,230 Who says it's gotta be Jessup? 12 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,110 That Grady property up on the ridge 13 00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,720 is beggin' to be developed. 14 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,330 - I think you're pregnant. 15 00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,810 When you're ready, it'll be there. 16 00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,500 - Dr. Smallwood-- - He's trying to fire you. 17 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,290 - And now we officially have no doctor. 18 00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,120 - Dr. Vanderspeigle is our only real candidate. 19 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,290 - He has a birthday comin' up. 20 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,470 - The alien we went to see was dead. 21 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,510 - Goliath held out for as long as he could. 22 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,910 - But he gave birth to an egg. - No! 23 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,170 - And now it's in Harry's bag. 24 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,080 Do you even know when it will hatch? 25 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,130 all: Surprise! 26 00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:49,040 [suspenseful music] 27 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:56,180 ♪ 28 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,200 - So where is this alien ball, 29 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,030 and how do I know that video wasn't a fake? 30 00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:18,550 - You're gonna have to trust me. 31 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,820 - Last time I saw you, I was going to have you killed. 32 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,820 Seems like trusting you is moving backwards. 33 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:26,730 ♪ 34 00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,690 I want to see it. 35 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:35,660 ♪ 36 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,230 What do you want? 37 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:48,320 - I give you the ball, I get my life back-- 38 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,410 honorable discharge, full pension. 39 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,150 Nobody trying to-- [gunshot] 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:02:00,330 ♪ 41 00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:11,950 [Brown Bird's "Bilgewater" plays] 42 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,960 ♪ 43 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,570 - Get out of my house! 44 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:23,530 - Happy Birthday, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 45 00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,360 Glad to have you back in Patience. 46 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,620 - Wow, Harry. It's a surprise party. 47 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,750 - That's right. Honoring the birthday 48 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,230 of one of our town's most esteemed residents, 49 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,540 Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle. 50 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,800 - Here's to another trip around the Sun, Dr. V. 51 00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,670 By the way, the break and enter was Ben's idea. 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,290 - Ah, now, now. No breaking, just entering. 53 00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,550 The door was unlocked. 54 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,810 - Yeah, after you climbed through the window 55 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,030 and unlocked it. 56 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,160 - Out of respect for our wonderful friend-- 57 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160 nay, our partner, really-- 58 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:51,040 who deserves to be celebrated for, if nothing else, 59 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,340 his kindness. 60 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,560 - You are all trespassing and should be in prison. 61 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,740 [laughter] 62 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,300 - He's jokin'. - No he's not. 63 00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,780 - Thanks for the heads-up. 64 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,310 - I wasn't invited. I'm just hungry. 65 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,480 - Here, let me grab this for you. 66 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,000 - No! I can put that away! 67 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,180 - Ah, no way. 68 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,700 No worrying about luggage for you. 69 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,840 - Whoa, close call there. [chuckles] 70 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,140 All right, let's get the festivities started. 71 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:15,490 - I do not like having people at my house uninvited. 72 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,630 - Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here. 73 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,370 Okay, I'll get rid of everyone. 74 00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:22,020 Just take that thing downstairs. 75 00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,240 - Only half of it is "thing." 76 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,030 The other half is alien. 77 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:29,030 [dramatic music] 78 00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,550 - Sure. 79 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,950 - Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle, how was your trip? 80 00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:35,080 I heard you went to a medical conference in New York. 81 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,520 - Yes, I went to an art party, 82 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,480 and took illegal drugs. - [laughs] 83 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,260 You know, I went to an art party once. 84 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,700 Well, it wasn't an art party. 85 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:44,920 It was--I guess you could call that art-- 86 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,260 - Do you have a pet spider? 87 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,010 Because it's in your hair. - What? 88 00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,010 - Yeah. - [screams] 89 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,960 - Oh. - No, no, no. 90 00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:52,310 No. No. - Yes. 91 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,320 - Where is it? 92 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,190 - It is gone now. 93 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:57,100 - What? [door clicks shut] 94 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,760 [panting] Mm-mm. Nope. 95 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:06,150 ♪ 96 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,290 - So when you gonna ask Dr. V 97 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,330 to be the town doctor, Ben? 98 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,720 - I don't know what you're talking about. 99 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:13,380 - Come on, man. This is what this is all about. 100 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,810 You're wooing him. Look. 101 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,990 Word of advice: get him drunk before you ask him. 102 00:04:17,030 --> 00:04:18,380 It'll help smooth the woo. 103 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,950 - I'm just showing appreciation. 104 00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,820 There's--there's no woo. 105 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,260 - Hey, Ben. 106 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,740 Thanks for pulling all this together. 107 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,480 Um, Harry's not really feeling very well, 108 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,130 so maybe we could do this another night. 109 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,830 - Ah, can't. 110 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,700 It's a special night for Harry, and if he's not feeling well, 111 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,230 then by golly, we will nurse him back to health 112 00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,230 together as a town. 113 00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,320 We're stayin'. 114 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,450 - [sniffs] Woo... 115 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,230 ♪ 116 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,670 - Ben, that's very-- - Excuse me. 117 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,020 - Kay. An alien baby kills you, 118 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,940 it's not my fault. 119 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,900 ♪ 120 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,940 - I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. 121 00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,510 Everyone who is alive has been born. 122 00:04:58,550 --> 00:05:00,120 It is not special. 123 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,340 A birthday party is just a participation trophy. 124 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,520 [sighs] 125 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,960 - It's my grandmother's secret deviled egg recipe. 126 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,740 I snuck into her desk and stole it when I was ten. 127 00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,350 She's hated me ever since. 128 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,750 - Mmm. Well, these are insane. 129 00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,700 I mean, it's horrible to lose your grandmother, but worth it. 130 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,050 - Last Christmas, she said she hopes she dies soon 131 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,230 so she can haunt me and steal my soul. 132 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,060 She holds a grudge. 133 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:29,370 - Mm, not for me. I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures 134 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:32,150 or having my soul taken by an angry ghost. 135 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,280 - Just try one. 136 00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,240 - I would, but I said no. 137 00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:39,160 - ♪ Know that I'll be coming right back ♪ 138 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,640 ♪ Tomorrow's dream 139 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,420 - Fine, yeah. I'll, uh, have a bite. 140 00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:47,600 ♪ 141 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:49,740 Oh, my God. Mmm. 142 00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:52,350 It's a delicate farm in my mouth. 143 00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,310 Mmm. - No. 144 00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:55,870 You doubted them. - I didn't doubt it. 145 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,130 - You don't deserve a second one. 146 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,700 - No, I do. - The second one 147 00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,050 is even better somehow. 148 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,750 It's like I can taste the farmer's wife 149 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,310 calling her family in for supper, like... 150 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,190 [inhales] Mmm. 151 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,410 "Comin', Mama." 152 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,970 Mmm. 153 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,670 "I'm comin'." 154 00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:13,630 - But I wanna taste farm supper... 155 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,110 - What did you do with it? - It is in the bunker. 156 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,330 It is safe. 157 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,850 - Glad the alien in the cellar is safe. 158 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,420 Harry, what if it hatches down there? 159 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:28,030 - Mm, alien babies have a big appetite 160 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,080 for high-calorie junky food. - Uh-huh. 161 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:35,390 - There's nothing more junky than a human. 162 00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:37,610 We are in danger. 163 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,870 - We have to get everyone out of here. 164 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,480 - [groans] - Make yourself look sick. 165 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530 Oh, that's good. 166 00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,440 Yes. Good. 167 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,440 - I have not done anything yet. 168 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,840 - Oh. 169 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,790 Sorry. 170 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,410 It's good, though. - [growls] 171 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,230 - Oh, there he is! 172 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,890 all: ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 173 00:06:57,930 --> 00:07:00,890 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 174 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:05,120 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 175 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,250 ♪ Which nobody can deny 176 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,550 - All right. 177 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,900 - You think I am a good fellow? 178 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:11,820 - And jolly. 179 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,730 And so sick... sick. - Mm. 180 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,210 - Sick... of being alone, maybe. 181 00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,350 It's your birthday. 182 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,650 It is your special day. 183 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,480 All this is for you. 184 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,650 Plus, cake. 185 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,920 If, uh, Jay ever shows up with it. 186 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,880 - Can it be pie? 187 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,920 - No. - Pie it is. 188 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,880 - I feel better! You can stay. 189 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,660 - You sure, Doc? You still look kind of pale. 190 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,930 - It is my Dutch skin. 191 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,760 - You hear that everyone? Our good cheer has cured him. 192 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,500 I'm gonna get that pie for you. - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,890 - Great. I have enough eggs to last 194 00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:41,760 all night, but we may need more ice, 195 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,630 because if they don't stay chilled, they go south fast. 196 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,550 - I got you, Deputy. You got ice down 197 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,500 in that meat freezer of yours, right? 198 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,680 - Do not go down there. 199 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,160 The floor's cracked, and if you step on it, 200 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,990 you'll break your mama's back. Here. 201 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,130 - What'd he say about my mama? - [sighs] 202 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,520 - Today is all about celebrating 203 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,440 the birth of a man I murdered 204 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,530 and threw in the frozen lake. 205 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,920 Ice seems appropriate. [sniffs] 206 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,400 Sulfur. 207 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,490 [suspenseful music] 208 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:22,630 ♪ 209 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:24,980 Hello? 210 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,890 ♪ 211 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,940 Oh... 212 00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:34,380 - [sighs] 213 00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:37,120 - Hmm. - Wow, soda. 214 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,250 You handling heavy machinery later? 215 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,690 - Right, you were out of town. We haven't talked. 216 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:42,300 I stopped drinking. 217 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:43,390 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 218 00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:44,870 - Since when? - 1:00. 219 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,560 - Last night? - This afternoon. 220 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,260 You gotta start somewhere. - [chuckles] 221 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,310 - You know, been eating healthy... 222 00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:50,610 getting back in shape. 223 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,610 Oh! I even started going to the gym again. 224 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,790 - Wow, I love that. 225 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,010 - Feels pretty good. 226 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,400 - [clears throat] - Hey, 227 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,230 still waiting on a invite to come here tonight. 228 00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,410 Email not a thing anymore? 229 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,020 - [whispers] Open wide. 230 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,100 - Hey hun. - Hey. 231 00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:05,410 - You, uh, having fun? 232 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,240 - Yeah. Um, are they gonna do 233 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,150 anything about that sulfur smell? 234 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,550 [whispers] I'm gonna barf. 235 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:13,720 - I don't smell anything. [chuckles] 236 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,550 Hey, uh, remember when you were pregnant, 237 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,990 and you had that sense of smell like a superhero? 238 00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:19,950 Hope you're not pregnant. [chuckles] 239 00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,770 Could you imagine? - [laughs] 240 00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:23,170 Yeah, right? 241 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,340 - [smacks lips] Mmm, I'm gonna get 242 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,820 some sweet gherkins. You want anything? 243 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,130 - Oh, sure don't. 244 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,780 Sure don't. 245 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:31,960 - This is a problem. 246 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,440 Even at birth, my alien kind 247 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,350 is very strong and agile. 248 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,830 That thing could be anywhere by now. 249 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,450 If it were a fully human baby, it would be much easier. 250 00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:44,140 Human infants are the only mammal whose main attribute 251 00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:45,490 is helplessly flopping. 252 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:46,840 [metal clanking] 253 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,450 - Need some help with that ice down there, Doc? 254 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,500 - No. 255 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,540 I am good at ice-carrying. 256 00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:53,720 [metal clanks] 257 00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,860 - You sure? I'll come down and help. 258 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,340 - No, no! 259 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,470 I want to carry it myself. 260 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,740 Ice feels good on my nipples. 261 00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:15,700 - Thanks, Doc. Damn, you smell like sulfur. 262 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,610 What, you have an outhouse party down there? 263 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,610 - No. 264 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,400 It is not sulfur. [chuckles] 265 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,140 What are you, crazy? 266 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:25,360 It is the deputy's eggs. They are stinky. 267 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,660 - Well, that makes sense. 268 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,490 Yeah, those things are delicious but deadly. 269 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,670 You gotta stop at two, or it's like eating a butt gun. 270 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,800 - I would not fire a gun made out of butts. 271 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:40,850 - The mayonnaise is homemade, and I mix the yolks by hand. 272 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,330 - Mm. - And I don't use 273 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,860 canola oil like most people. 274 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,160 The key is olive oil. 275 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,210 It really brings out the eggy flavor. 276 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:51,380 - Mm. Yum. 277 00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:52,430 Just... excuse me. - Okay. 278 00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:55,170 - Just one second. - Okay. 279 00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:59,260 ♪ 280 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,000 - [coughs] 281 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,920 [sighs] 282 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,700 [sighs] 283 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,750 [soft music] 284 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,930 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've taken ♪ 285 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,060 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've let loose ♪ 286 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,190 ♪ 287 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:18,890 ♪ I wanna be true 288 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:22,720 ♪ I wanna be forgiven 289 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,290 ♪ 290 00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:28,250 ♪ For givin' up 291 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,950 ♪ On everything I knew 292 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,040 ♪ 293 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,860 ♪ I wanna be true 294 00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,780 - I'm serious. If you're wearing nurse scrubs 295 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,610 and you're running, stores will pretty much 296 00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:42,960 let you take anything for free. Uh-huh. 297 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,480 Yeah. Of course. 298 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,700 No, sorry, anything. 299 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,660 - Okay, so I marked all the military installations 300 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,660 where they could be holding the alien ball. 301 00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:55,670 I circled the underground ones nobody knows about. 302 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,450 - Ben's throwing a surprise birthday party for Dr. V., 303 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,930 but he's just doing that to trick him 304 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,760 into being town doctor again. 305 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,630 It's this big secret. 306 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:06,240 Yeah. I told everyone. 307 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,030 - Town doctor? 308 00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:09,550 What happened to Dr. Ethan? 309 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,680 - He left town the night the Men in Black were here. 310 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,080 - You mean the night you told the Men in Black 311 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,340 Dr. Ethan was the alien? 312 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,560 - Yeah, that night. 313 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,510 Guess Dr. Ethan just didn't like it here. 314 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,520 - Is your brain in your butt? - I hope not. 315 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,650 - Don't you realize what happened? 316 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,780 The Men in Black took Dr. Ethan. 317 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,790 As soon as they figure out he's human, 318 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,700 they'll know the alien is still in Patience 319 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,360 and come back looking for him. 320 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,790 We have to go to that party and warn Asta. 321 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,360 - How? We have a babysitter. 322 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,060 - We'll get her to fall asleep. 323 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,630 I know what to do. 324 00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:45,930 Same way my Aunt Azadeh conks out when she visits. 325 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:49,370 - Sleeping pills? - No... 326 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,380 calm-voiced nature videos. 327 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:54,550 [suspicious music] 328 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:55,940 - What you gonna do with all them pickles? 329 00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:57,420 - Uh, those are not pickles. 330 00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:58,820 Those are sweet gherkins, 331 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,210 or, uh, cornichons. 332 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,690 - Did you just correct me on how to say a pickle? 333 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,950 - No. I'm just sayin'. 334 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,780 - I'm gonna get some punch. 335 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,830 Hey, how's the punch? - It fell. 336 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,830 - What? 337 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:13,790 - What? 338 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,840 - What? 339 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,790 - What? 340 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,060 Oh, no. - Huh? 341 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,540 I didn't-- 342 00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:35,590 [dramatic music] 343 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,420 - It's pretty, huh? 344 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,950 - Yeah, it's amazing. 345 00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:42,160 I used to spend a lot of time here 346 00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:43,340 when you were dating Harry. 347 00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,730 - Oh, yeah. I wouldn't call it dating. 348 00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,560 It was really more of a drive-by. [chuckles] 349 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,300 So any exciting news? 350 00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:53,650 - No, I haven't taken the test yet. 351 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,960 If I take the test and it's positive, 352 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,880 then I'm pregnant. 353 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,840 - Yeah, that's not how it works. 354 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,840 ♪ 355 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,840 - You know, I was just talking to Harry about New York. 356 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,890 All I could think about was how exciting it would be 357 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,760 to live there, you know? 358 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,590 The art shows, the theatre, all of it. 359 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,900 Why can't that be my life? 360 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,290 - I don't know. Why can't it? 361 00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,250 - Because I'm stuck here, 362 00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,810 pushing out babies like a stray dog. 363 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,990 Ugh... the ones with all the nipples? 364 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,910 - So many nipples. - Huge, huge nipples. 365 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,870 You adopt one, it turns over. Nipple. 366 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:34,870 - [sighs] 367 00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,870 ♪ 368 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,480 - Come on. 369 00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:42,140 Let's go pee on a stick. 370 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,440 Hold your breath. 371 00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,750 Liv just brought out a new tray of eggs. 372 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:48,970 - Ugh. 373 00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,620 - The size of the bull elk's antlers 374 00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:55,320 depends on how much sunlight the elk gets. 375 00:14:55,370 --> 00:15:01,200 Here, this elk basks in the warm rays of the midday sun. 376 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,680 A full-sized male's antlers can grow up to an inch per day 377 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,340 during the summer months. 378 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:10,340 They're typically fully grown by mid-August. 379 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,430 If he is able to-- 380 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,520 - Hey! 381 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,650 Where are you going? 382 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,950 - Bike ride? - Taking out the garbage! 383 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,910 - Just come home before your parents get back. 384 00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:21,520 No drugs! 385 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,570 - She's a horrible babysitter. - Yeah. 386 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,450 [ominous music] 387 00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:38,320 ♪ 388 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,500 - Ooh... 389 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,980 [sizzling] 390 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:48,160 ♪ 391 00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,210 What the hell? 392 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,210 Hmm. 393 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,300 - Harry? - No, just me. 394 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:03,220 Just me in here peein'. - Sorry. 395 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,700 - God, I can't hold the stick. My hand's shaking too much. 396 00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:07,920 - Okay, give it to me. 397 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:08,880 I'll hold it. I'll hold it. 398 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,010 - You sure? - Yeah. 399 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,570 Okay, it's in position. Go. 400 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,880 And you just pissed on my hand. 401 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:22,020 ♪ 402 00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,020 [knocking] 403 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,630 - There you are. What are you doing? 404 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,680 - I am enjoying my birthday candy. 405 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,250 - Have you checked on the egg? 406 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,730 'Cause if there's any chance that it will hatch, 407 00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,560 we have to get everyone out of this party right now. 408 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,130 - The party cannot end. There is pie coming. 409 00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,090 Do not worry. The baby will not hatch. 410 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:48,000 It is definitely still inside of its shell. 411 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,570 [quirky music] 412 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,920 Nowhere else! 413 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,570 - Okay. It's still a party, though, 414 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,050 so you can't just hide in the bedroom, 415 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,710 or people will be suspicious. - Mm. 416 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,930 - Come talk to someone, 417 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,140 and don't be weird. 418 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,710 [whispers] And here we go. 419 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,200 - I will talk to Dan because he has food. 420 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290 And that is not weird. 421 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,680 Hi, Dan. 422 00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,160 Here is some money for my meal, 423 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:23,860 and I'll also take a side of fries at the table. 424 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,820 [radio music playing] 425 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:33,130 ♪ 426 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,100 - Really sorry about that. 427 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,880 - Oh, don't worry. 428 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,800 I've been peed on before. 429 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,100 - I have too. 430 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,800 I kind of like it. 431 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,500 - I was talking about a frog I picked up when I was a kid. 432 00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:49,630 - Yeah, frogs. 433 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,590 Me too. 434 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,420 [device chimes] - Oh. 435 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,370 Time's up. 436 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,510 - Shit. 437 00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,990 [sighs] 438 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,560 - [weakly] Congratulations. 439 00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,300 You gonna tell Ben the good news? 440 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,000 - Not until I'm convinced it's good news. 441 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,960 [dramatic music] 442 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,660 - Why? If you get overwhelmed, 443 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:21,270 just think back on a time when life was simple, 444 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,660 and you were just a woman 445 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,010 pissin' on another woman. 446 00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:25,750 - [laughs] 447 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,450 - You got this, Hawthorne. 448 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:29,060 - [laughs] 449 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,930 [Logan Staats' "Vampires" plays] 450 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,320 - ♪ Please darlin' 451 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:37,460 ♪ Take mercy on my broken heart, yeah ♪ 452 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,110 ♪ And take my soul if you want what's left of it ♪ 453 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,330 - You're not gonna believe it. 454 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:44,510 Eugena Plunkett came in, saying she saw a UFO 455 00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,430 a couple of months ago in Patience. 456 00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:50,520 Can you imagine? - That seems... crazy. 457 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,300 - Remember that camping trip when we were kids, 458 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,910 like when Ben saw something, and he ran, and everyone 459 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,350 followed him, and I stayed back by the fire? 460 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:00,700 - Yeah, I think so. 461 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,830 But he didn't see anything, right? 462 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,270 - No. - No. 463 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,050 Yeah. No. 464 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,190 - But I did. 465 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:11,970 - Really? 466 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,150 What? 467 00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,670 - A UFO. 468 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,280 A real-life UFO. 469 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,370 Don't you wanna believe... 470 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,290 that we're not alone, 471 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,990 like, that there's something bigger than us out there? 472 00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,860 - Sure. Um, but not in Patience. 473 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,690 I mean, we just barely got a pizza place. 474 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,130 I am sure there are not aliens here. 475 00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,390 - You're probably right. 476 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:42,220 It's just fun to think about sometimes. 477 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,390 - Hello. - Hello. 478 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,530 - Jay's here. Okay. 479 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,830 Pretend like you're talking to me, would you? 480 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,100 - I am talking to you. 481 00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,450 - Right. Oh God. 482 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,230 I'm so--I just get so nervous when she's around. 483 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,580 I mean, I've been giving her space, you know? 484 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,710 But I'm--it just feels like it's been forever, 485 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,190 and her 18th birthday is in two days. 486 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240 Am I talking fast? - Mm-hmm. 487 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,150 - Talking fast. She's driving now. 488 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,070 - Yeah, she's our best customer. 489 00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,160 We've given her, like, six tickets. 490 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,120 - Oh. I'm so sorry. 491 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,340 - Mm-mm. Breathe. 492 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,340 - [sighs] Okay. 493 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,560 - Yeah. - [whispers] She's coming. 494 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,300 - She's on her way. - Don't pass out. 495 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:21,040 - Hi. - Hey, how are you? 496 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,130 How are you? 497 00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,480 - I'm good. 498 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,310 Um, so my birthday's coming up, which you know. 499 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,700 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there. 500 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,310 [both laugh] 501 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,140 - Yeah, so... look, I was wondering if you might want 502 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,100 to do something that day. 503 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,230 Just, um-- just you and me. 504 00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,240 - Really? - Yeah, you know... 505 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,540 just, like, lunch or something. 506 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,630 It's no big deal. Just hang out. 507 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,980 - Uh... 508 00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,900 I would love that. 509 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,290 - Okay. Um, great. 510 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,030 Pick me up at the diner at 1:00? 511 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,250 Maybe we can check out that new Mexican place? 512 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,780 - I can't wait. 513 00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:04,390 - Okay. Um, I'm gonna go... 514 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,740 I'm gonna go eat as much food as I can 515 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,870 before Mr. Hawthorne kicks me out. 516 00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:09,700 - Sure. Cool. 517 00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:12,700 [dramatic music] 518 00:21:12,740 --> 00:21:19,660 ♪ 519 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,410 [laughs] 520 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,590 ♪ 521 00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:29,890 [laughs] 522 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:33,160 ♪ 523 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,590 [sighs] 524 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,330 [knocking] - Hey, are you okay? 525 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,250 - Yeah, I'm great. 526 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,770 - I just need to pee. [sink water flows] 527 00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:42,770 ♪ 528 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:46,130 [sniffling] 529 00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:49,300 [sighs] 530 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:52,480 [screams] 531 00:21:53,610 --> 00:21:56,350 - Let me in. I know you're upset. 532 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:03,400 ♪ 533 00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,930 - I'm fine. Just... sneezed. 534 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,100 Um, have you seen Harry? 535 00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,240 - Don't be too self-conscious. 536 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,720 I had a bunch of them eggs too. 537 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,670 You get in line. I'ma be a while. 538 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,460 Don't stand by the door neither, a'ight? 539 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,720 - You're the one that said not to be self-conscious-- 540 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,380 - Get away from the damn door! 541 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,940 I still see your feet! - All right. 542 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,040 - [grunts] Ow. 543 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,650 - Looking for something? 544 00:22:28,690 --> 00:22:30,740 - I wanted to heat up pie. 545 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:33,700 - [whispers] The baby hatched, and you knew it! 546 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:36,260 - What? This is news to me. 547 00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:38,570 How did you not tell me this sooner? 548 00:22:38,610 --> 00:22:40,570 - Stop it. I saw it in the bathroom! 549 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,660 - [groans] - And it has teeth! 550 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:45,050 What kind of baby has teeth? 551 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,620 - Oh, an alien baby. 552 00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:51,320 They're very good at ripping things... or people. 553 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,800 Everyone! We have to leave the house! 554 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:56,940 - No. No, no. 555 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,240 I saw it run outside. 556 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,460 - Everyone, we need to stay inside the house! 557 00:23:02,510 --> 00:23:03,550 - Harry... - We should keep 558 00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:05,940 everyone together. 559 00:23:05,990 --> 00:23:08,990 Outside is not safe. 560 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,860 [suspenseful music] 561 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,390 - Now, any cop that's ever been a cop in D.C. 562 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,960 is there, right? Which is just-- 563 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,660 that's just the way it is at Kelly's when a cop retires. 564 00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,050 So the next thing you know, 565 00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:24,830 we hear all these people screaming, right? 566 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,830 We don't know what's going on. 567 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,100 Did a fight break out, you know? 568 00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:29,140 Who knows? And I look, 569 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:32,670 and parting the sea of bodies is a goat. 570 00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:34,710 - What? - Jesse had snuck a goat 571 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,540 into the bar and just let it loose. 572 00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:38,410 [laughter] 573 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,550 See, now that was Jesse! [laughter] 574 00:23:41,590 --> 00:23:43,420 - Good to see you laughin'. 575 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:45,380 - Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a second? 576 00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:46,510 - Okay. 577 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:49,250 - Oh, and this other time... 578 00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:50,900 - [whispering] The alien baby hatched. 579 00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:52,080 It's loose! 580 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,380 - [whispering] Is that a bad thing? 581 00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:55,040 - It's not a good thing. 582 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,950 Keep everyone together, and don't let anyone outside, okay? 583 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,350 Harry's really worried. 584 00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:02,700 - He doesn't look worried. - Huh? 585 00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:05,440 - [laughing] I do not like this gift. 586 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,310 - Didn't I, uh, give you that last Christmas? 587 00:24:07,350 --> 00:24:09,570 - Well, maybe if someone had invited me, 588 00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:10,790 I'd have time to shop. 589 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,270 Plus, it smells like doo-doo, baby. 590 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,630 - Harry, can I ask you a quick question about the pie? 591 00:24:17,670 --> 00:24:20,060 - The mayor gives cheap gifts. 592 00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:22,150 - Oh, actually he worked pretty hard on that. 593 00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,460 - Not cheap. Uh, it happens to be beeswax, 594 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:27,980 nature's gold. - Isn't gold nature's gold? 595 00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:29,590 - Not to Ben. 596 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,990 - What if it's outside? 597 00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:32,730 Then maybe we should stay here. 598 00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:34,470 And if we're going to stay here, 599 00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:35,950 we should open presents. 600 00:24:35,990 --> 00:24:37,730 - [whispering] Asta! Asta! - Yeah, do not go outside. 601 00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,210 - Asta! 602 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:40,820 - We should stay inside while we can't go outside. 603 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,300 - Come on! - Come on! 604 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:46,000 Let's go to the other window. - [whispers] Yeah. 605 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,000 [eerie music] 606 00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:52,790 ♪ 607 00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:54,180 [raccoon chirping] 608 00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:56,190 [normal pitch] Cool, a raccoon! 609 00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:57,840 - [normal pitch] Aw, look at the cute little-- 610 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,360 [raccoon yowls] 611 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,760 [gory mashing] 612 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,840 What the? 613 00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:04,370 [suspenseful music] 614 00:25:04,410 --> 00:25:05,410 [alien hisses] 615 00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:06,670 [both scream] 616 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,330 [both panting] 617 00:25:08,370 --> 00:25:10,810 Do you know what this means? 618 00:25:10,850 --> 00:25:12,380 - Raccoon bones don't taste good? 619 00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:15,070 - Harry is breeding alien babies. 620 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,550 ♪ 621 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,340 - How long do I have to keep everybody here for? 622 00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:21,210 I mean, is it safe outside? 623 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,210 Did the "humalien" thing run away? 624 00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:26,560 - I do not know what the alien will do. 625 00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:28,390 It is a hybrid. 626 00:25:28,430 --> 00:25:31,790 The alien part of it will want to come back when it is hungry. 627 00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,000 It will know there is food here. 628 00:25:33,050 --> 00:25:35,050 - You mean us, right? 629 00:25:35,090 --> 00:25:37,270 - No, of course not. 630 00:25:37,310 --> 00:25:40,800 It will want to eat the egg sack that it was born in. 631 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,410 - Okay. 632 00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:44,190 - Then us. 633 00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:46,240 - Jesus. - I'll go downstairs 634 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:51,070 and look for it, and maybe snack on the sack. 635 00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:53,420 - Ew. - I need something savory. 636 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:57,120 - You know, about it maybe eating us thing... 637 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,080 you got bullets for those guns? 638 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,340 - They're all loaded. 639 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:03,560 The real me was redneck-y. 640 00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:09,040 - [sighs] 641 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,350 - Hey Dan. Uh... 642 00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:13,700 I've been carrying around some of Jesse's ashes with me 643 00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:14,960 for a while now, right? 644 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,090 I'm thinkin' maybe it's time to let him go. 645 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,270 You know, spread his ashes. 646 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,010 - I love that idea. 647 00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:22,790 I think you'll be happier not carrying that weight around. 648 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,230 - Yeah. Well, we used to fish 649 00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:25,930 together a lot. So I thought about 650 00:26:25,970 --> 00:26:27,840 doing it here, on the lake. 651 00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,500 You know, maybe we have a little memorial for him. 652 00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:32,240 I'd love for you to be a part of it. 653 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,890 - I'd be honored. Anytime. 654 00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:37,500 - Great! All right, let's go. 655 00:26:37,550 --> 00:26:40,120 - Uh, not now. 656 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,810 - Why not? 657 00:26:41,860 --> 00:26:43,160 - Too windy. 658 00:26:43,210 --> 00:26:45,770 Not good ash-spreading weather. 659 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:48,120 - Well, you the expert, right? 660 00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:49,560 I'ma get me some food. 661 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,830 - Hey! Dr. V! 662 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,790 Just, uh, thought I'd say hi. 663 00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:04,140 Wow, great work space. 664 00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,750 You, uh, you build birdhouses down here? 665 00:27:06,790 --> 00:27:08,800 You, uh, you're a tinkerer? 666 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:09,800 You like to tinker? 667 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,450 - Yes. 668 00:27:11,490 --> 00:27:13,580 Sometimes it makes me shiver 669 00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:16,150 because of the warm urine leaving my body. 670 00:27:16,190 --> 00:27:17,540 - Oh no, that's, uh... 671 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,680 Anyway, hey, um, 672 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,290 wanted to talk to you about something. 673 00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:29,160 Unfortunately, Dr. Smallwood has decided to retire, 674 00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:31,650 and we have found ourselves, once again, 675 00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:33,170 without a town doctor. 676 00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,910 - [gasps] - And, yes, I can see 677 00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:36,210 by the concern on your face 678 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:37,650 that you understand what a difficult position 679 00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:38,700 this puts me in. 680 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,220 But you know what's even better? 681 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,740 - [growls] - Is you... returning 682 00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,570 as our town doctor. What do you think? 683 00:27:44,610 --> 00:27:46,660 - I will consider it! [grunts] 684 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:50,190 - Oh! What the heck was that? 685 00:27:50,230 --> 00:27:52,060 - It was an Earth animal. 686 00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,020 It's a sick raccoon. - Mm-hmm. 687 00:27:57,060 --> 00:28:00,060 - We should probably go away. 688 00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:01,200 Don't get close to it. 689 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,200 - Yep. Say no more. 690 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,590 That's my cue. - Mm. 691 00:28:04,630 --> 00:28:06,810 - Uh, I'll go warn the others. [cell phone rings] 692 00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:09,730 Uh... hmm? 693 00:28:09,770 --> 00:28:11,550 Hello? 694 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,950 Oh, hi. 695 00:28:12,990 --> 00:28:14,910 Really? That's amazing. 696 00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,040 ♪ 697 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,040 [indistinct chatter] 698 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:26,310 ♪ 699 00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:28,180 - You know, if those raccoons do have rabies, 700 00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:29,570 we should find them and take them somewhere. 701 00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,440 - Shit, I ain't messin' with no damn rabies. 702 00:28:31,490 --> 00:28:33,710 You know 100% of people who have rabies go insane, 703 00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:36,100 but only 20% of insane people have rabies? 704 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:37,890 That's a Internet fact. 705 00:28:37,930 --> 00:28:39,100 Mmm. 706 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:40,410 Oh. 707 00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:42,410 This stuff's pretty good. 708 00:28:42,450 --> 00:28:44,070 It's spicier than I remember. 709 00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:45,890 [smacks lips] 710 00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,550 It's tangy. 711 00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:48,590 You know? 712 00:28:48,630 --> 00:28:51,590 - I'll have some of that. - Yeah. 713 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,420 - Well, looks like New York's out of the picture. 714 00:28:54,470 --> 00:28:56,600 - What? Why? 715 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,250 - Ben just got a call from some company 716 00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,120 that wants to put a resort here. 717 00:29:00,170 --> 00:29:01,740 Says he's gonna be mayor for decades. 718 00:29:01,780 --> 00:29:04,130 - Nobody's putting a resort here. 719 00:29:04,170 --> 00:29:05,300 What are you talking about? 720 00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:06,700 - I don't know. He says he took pictures 721 00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:08,440 of the Grady land to sell them on the idea, 722 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,960 and now they want to do it. 723 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,610 - What? He said he was using 724 00:29:11,660 --> 00:29:13,490 those pictures for the town website. 725 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,100 What? 726 00:29:16,140 --> 00:29:17,320 - Excuse me. 727 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,490 Hey, didn't realize you were still here. 728 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,280 - Yeah, just thought I'd grab something to eat. 729 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,460 - That was like an hour ago. 730 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:28,240 - I guess I've been eating for an hour. 731 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,240 - Huh. - Mm-hmm. 732 00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:32,370 - [mutters] Didn't realize I hired Jughead 733 00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,250 to deliver the cake. 734 00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:35,900 Hey, what are you two talking about? 735 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,030 - Oh, I was just catching up with D'arcy 736 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,300 about the pictures that you took for the resort. 737 00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:41,780 - You know, the ones that you lied to me about, 738 00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:43,600 that you said were for the "town website." 739 00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,130 - Well, I plan on using those pictures for the town website 740 00:29:46,170 --> 00:29:47,690 as well, so... not a lie. 741 00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,430 Hey, uh, should I order more food? 742 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,310 'Cause Jay is going through it like a lawnmower. 743 00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:53,130 - Nope, you totally lied to me. 744 00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:54,530 I mean, Jesus. 745 00:29:54,570 --> 00:29:56,530 We spent the whole day rock climbing, ATVing, 746 00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:57,920 what, so you could just bring in a resort 747 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,100 and destroy the town? 748 00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:00,620 - Uh, you went rock climbing? 749 00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:02,710 - [stammering] A little bit--small rock. 750 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:05,410 - So when I got home from my mom's, and I said, you know, 751 00:30:05,450 --> 00:30:07,410 "What have you been doing?" and you said, "Nothing," 752 00:30:07,450 --> 00:30:10,370 was "nothing" rock climbing with D'arcy? 753 00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:11,980 - Uh... you know, I mean, 754 00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,900 isn't "nothing" kind of like a catchall expression? 755 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,330 I mean, it really could mean lots of different things. 756 00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,850 - No. It means nothing. 757 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,290 You know, what you and D'arcy did, it wasn't nothing. 758 00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:22,380 It was something, and for some reason, 759 00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:24,640 you just didn't tell me about it. 760 00:30:24,690 --> 00:30:25,990 - I just didn't think it was a big deal. 761 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,690 - Oh shit. Uh, look. 762 00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,610 [clears throat] I hate to insert myself here, 763 00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:31,610 but it looks like Ben could use a little help, 764 00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:33,520 so just know D'arcy kissed Ben, 765 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,700 not the other way around. 766 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:37,400 He's a completely innocent bystander. 767 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,480 - You kissed Ben? 768 00:30:39,530 --> 00:30:40,440 - [nervously laughs] 769 00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,920 [dramatic music] 770 00:30:47,140 --> 00:30:49,230 - What a fun development. You two kissed... 771 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,670 each other! - I told you to tell her 772 00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:52,060 about the kiss. 773 00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:53,500 - You know, this is on me. 774 00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:56,330 I was drunk and in a really horrible place. 775 00:30:56,370 --> 00:30:57,680 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. 776 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,240 It's not Ben's fault. - Well put. 777 00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:00,550 - Well, if it wasn't your fault, 778 00:31:00,590 --> 00:31:01,860 then why wouldn't you just tell me about it? 779 00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,200 I mean, then again, why would you? 780 00:31:03,250 --> 00:31:04,990 'Cause I'm only just now hearing about you putting 781 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,340 a stupid resort in town. 782 00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:07,730 - What resort? 783 00:31:07,770 --> 00:31:09,120 You can't put a resort in Patience. 784 00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,340 - See? I didn't tell anybody. 785 00:31:11,390 --> 00:31:13,910 - Is this the resort you were talking about that Ben wanted? 786 00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:15,260 - Yeah. I think it's a bad idea. 787 00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:16,830 so does my mom. 788 00:31:16,870 --> 00:31:18,090 - I might've told Mike, thought he could keep a secret. 789 00:31:18,130 --> 00:31:19,660 - You can't keep secrets from somebody 790 00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:21,090 who buys your bear claws every morning. 791 00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:23,270 - It took two bear claws to find out about the kiss. 792 00:31:23,310 --> 00:31:25,180 - Why is everyone listening to this? 793 00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:28,010 - 'Cause you're having a public fight, and we have ears. 794 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:29,010 - I'm not having a fight. 795 00:31:29,060 --> 00:31:30,670 I am explaining to my wife 796 00:31:30,710 --> 00:31:31,710 why I didn't tell her 797 00:31:31,750 --> 00:31:32,670 about hanging out with D'arcy 798 00:31:32,710 --> 00:31:33,710 a couple nights ago. 799 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:34,890 - So you hung out at night too? 800 00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:35,980 - Okay, now it's a fight. 801 00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:37,190 - I'm not fighting. 802 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,980 I don't care if he hangs out with D'arcy. 803 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,890 They're friends. I--I-- 804 00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:41,810 I just don't know why you wouldn't 805 00:31:41,850 --> 00:31:43,510 just tell me about this. 806 00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:47,600 - After we left the Grady land, D'Arcy came back to the house. 807 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,380 She found some weed that she had hid in Max's closet, 808 00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:51,600 and we smoked it. 809 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,040 - Wait, you hid pot in my son's closet? 810 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,210 - Yeah, but I hid it back in high school 811 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:56,430 when I was bangin' your husband. 812 00:31:56,470 --> 00:31:57,560 - Ho, ho, ho... 813 00:31:57,610 --> 00:31:59,560 - Thought it was time for a hard joke. 814 00:31:59,610 --> 00:32:00,610 - No. - No. 815 00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:02,050 - Look, this is ridiculous. 816 00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:04,000 Nothing happened. She fell asleep. 817 00:32:04,050 --> 00:32:06,400 I tucked her into Max's bed. End of story. 818 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,880 - Wait, you slept over? 819 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,920 - Ho, ho, it appears the story has a few more chapters. 820 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:10,880 - Wait, you smoked 15-year-old weed? 821 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,010 - I did. It was not good. 822 00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,970 - Ben-- - Yes, D'arcy slept over 823 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:17,060 in Max's bed, and I am telling you now 824 00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,370 because I have nothing to hide. 825 00:32:19,410 --> 00:32:21,060 - So where were you when I came home the next morning? 826 00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:22,670 - Ben told me to hide. I snuck out the window. 827 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,070 - I made a gesture. 828 00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,590 You took it to mean hide. 829 00:32:25,630 --> 00:32:27,070 - I also stole one of your kid's candy bars. 830 00:32:27,110 --> 00:32:28,510 I'm sorry. - I can't believe this. 831 00:32:28,550 --> 00:32:30,420 You were hiding in my house? 832 00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:31,860 We hung out after that. 833 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:34,640 You couldn't just tell me all of this? 834 00:32:34,690 --> 00:32:36,860 This whole thing was fake. 835 00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:38,690 I really thought you were my friend. 836 00:32:38,730 --> 00:32:40,950 - No, I am your friend. 837 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,690 - She apologized for kissing Ben. 838 00:32:42,740 --> 00:32:44,740 - I don't care about that, okay? 839 00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:46,830 It's a stupid kiss. Who cares? 840 00:32:46,870 --> 00:32:49,090 D'arcy was drunk and sad. Big surprise. 841 00:32:49,140 --> 00:32:50,620 - You know, if you didn't freak out so hard 842 00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:52,100 about your husband hanging a sign on the wall, 843 00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:53,230 maybe he'd tell you more shit. 844 00:32:53,270 --> 00:32:54,100 - Oh... 845 00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,970 oh, okay that makes sense. 846 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:57,800 You're our new interior designer. 847 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,230 Spend your time moving a coffee table across the room with Ben, 848 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,980 because finding a single guy 849 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,540 who's real and available is too scary. 850 00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:04,930 - Well, maybe you should learn to talk to Ben 851 00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:06,110 about your feelings instead of stuffing them 852 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:07,630 inside a 90-mile vertical treadmill run. 853 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,980 - So is this what you do? 854 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,290 You insert your drama into other people's lives 855 00:33:10,330 --> 00:33:11,250 'cause you can't deal with your own? 856 00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:12,420 - No, I'm dealing with mine 857 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:13,380 just fine, all right? 858 00:33:13,420 --> 00:33:15,250 I'm working out. I'm in shape. 859 00:33:15,290 --> 00:33:17,080 I look great. I quit drinking for... 860 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,950 four hours-- - You lied to me. 861 00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:21,390 You know what? No. 862 00:33:21,430 --> 00:33:23,300 I deserved it, because I have been lying for years. 863 00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:25,130 You wanna know the truth? I hate it here. 864 00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:27,480 I hate Patience. I hate my life, 865 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,570 and I hate that I really thought you were my friend, 866 00:33:30,610 --> 00:33:31,830 and I'm glad that I pissed on your hand 867 00:33:31,870 --> 00:33:33,220 when I took that pregnancy test! 868 00:33:33,270 --> 00:33:34,360 - What? 869 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,530 - [sighs] 870 00:33:35,570 --> 00:33:36,620 I'm pregnant. 871 00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:41,410 [party popper bangs] - Congratulations! 872 00:33:44,710 --> 00:33:47,630 - Well, well, well, who's keeping secrets now? 873 00:33:47,670 --> 00:33:49,850 - Um, not really the road 874 00:33:49,890 --> 00:33:51,150 you wanna be drivin' down right now. 875 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,720 - Couldn't agree more. - Okay. 876 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,110 - Can you believe this shit? 877 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,940 She actually thinks I'm afraid 878 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,510 of being with a single man who's real. 879 00:33:58,550 --> 00:33:59,680 That's ridiculous. 880 00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:00,900 - Pretty much dead on. 881 00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,770 - You are also really needy. 882 00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:03,950 - [sighs] - Perfect. 883 00:34:03,990 --> 00:34:05,040 Side with the man. 884 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,650 These guys. Am I right, Liv? 885 00:34:06,690 --> 00:34:08,560 I'm not afraid of being in a real relationship. 886 00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:13,350 - What? Oh, coming. 887 00:34:13,390 --> 00:34:16,010 - Uh, oh, hey, hey. Where are you goin'? 888 00:34:16,050 --> 00:34:17,440 - Shit, unless you got another fight planned, 889 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,050 I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the night. 890 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,320 - No, no. Um, you can't leave yet... 891 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,020 because we still have cake! [giggles] 892 00:34:27,060 --> 00:34:28,410 - Whoo. 893 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:36,630 - I'm sorry. 894 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,160 [dramatic music] 895 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,120 I'm really sorry. [stammers] I... 896 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,560 I should've told you about the D'arcy stuff. 897 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,390 ♪ 898 00:34:48,430 --> 00:34:51,910 I figure you're probably, at this point, well aware, 899 00:34:51,950 --> 00:34:52,960 but um, 900 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,650 you're married to a dipshit. 901 00:34:55,700 --> 00:35:01,220 ♪ 902 00:35:01,270 --> 00:35:03,140 - [sighs] I'm sorry. 903 00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:05,580 I should've told you about the-- 904 00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:06,880 [sighs] you know... 905 00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:08,750 ♪ 906 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,100 - Why didn't you tell me? 907 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:12,930 - I don't know. I don't know--I... 908 00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:15,150 [sighs] Was... 909 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,810 scared, and we don't really talk anymore. 910 00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:24,770 Anytime anything remotely uncomfortable comes up, 911 00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:26,730 we just--we just have sex 912 00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:28,770 instead of talking about what's really going on. 913 00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:30,340 - Okay, okay. 914 00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:32,600 Let's talk. Right now. 915 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,910 We're gonna have a baby. 916 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,440 - Yeah. 917 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,660 ♪ 918 00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:43,350 - That's... 919 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,180 a lot. 920 00:35:44,220 --> 00:35:46,620 ♪ 921 00:35:46,660 --> 00:35:47,970 - It's a lot, a lot. 922 00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:53,020 ♪ 923 00:35:57,630 --> 00:36:03,900 all: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harry ♪ 924 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:10,290 ♪ Happy birthday to you 925 00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:16,820 - You can go ahead and blow out the candles. 926 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,480 - No. 927 00:36:19,690 --> 00:36:21,130 I do not like cake. 928 00:36:21,170 --> 00:36:22,180 - Well, if you don't blow out the candles, 929 00:36:22,220 --> 00:36:23,260 your wish won't come true. 930 00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:26,180 - Mm. - I'll help you out, Harry. 931 00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:27,220 - Oh. - Oh. 932 00:36:27,270 --> 00:36:29,230 [distant moaning] 933 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:31,620 - And someone's having sex in the bathroom. 934 00:36:35,710 --> 00:36:37,060 - Now, do not be concerned. 935 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:38,150 These old houses... 936 00:36:38,190 --> 00:36:41,410 you can't beat them, but join them! 937 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:42,630 - Everybody just sit tight, okay? 938 00:36:42,670 --> 00:36:44,370 Nobody leave. Dad, can you help me 939 00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:45,550 go downstairs, check the breaker? 940 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:46,980 - You bet. 941 00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,510 - Raccoons probably chewed through the wires. 942 00:36:48,550 --> 00:36:49,940 - Yeah, you know, I got this call once. 943 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,990 It was a woodchuck that got into a fuse box. 944 00:36:52,030 --> 00:36:53,730 Fried the poor little guy medium rare. 945 00:36:53,770 --> 00:36:55,300 Do you know what the crazy part is? 946 00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:56,300 You know what it smelled like? 947 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,600 Caesar salad. - Hmm. 948 00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,170 - Mm-hmm. - Delicious. 949 00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:02,170 - Do not worry about the raccoon. 950 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,000 I'm going outside to set a trap. 951 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,180 - Oh, I don't think raccoons eat pies. 952 00:37:07,220 --> 00:37:09,480 - No. Harrys do. 953 00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:10,830 You can have garbage cake. 954 00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:14,580 - Who keeps loaded rifles in their house? 955 00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,840 - We're protecting ourselves from an outer space egg baby. 956 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,490 That's the question you're asking, Dad? 957 00:37:20,540 --> 00:37:22,020 - Hey, did you steal fruit? 958 00:37:22,060 --> 00:37:24,850 - Oh, yes, Mr. Biggins, I stole all the apples. 959 00:37:24,890 --> 00:37:26,060 I need to be punished. - How about this? 960 00:37:26,110 --> 00:37:27,810 - [moans] - [whispers] Jesus. 961 00:37:27,850 --> 00:37:28,940 - I swear, Mr. Biggins, 962 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,590 I didn't mean any disrespect. 963 00:37:30,630 --> 00:37:32,510 [moaning] - You in the right business. 964 00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,200 [suspenseful music] 965 00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:35,470 - Baby... 966 00:37:35,510 --> 00:37:36,550 ♪ 967 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,510 Little baby. Agh! 968 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,210 Baby? 969 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,470 Come here. 970 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,740 ♪ 971 00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:50,350 [faint tinkling sound] 972 00:37:50,390 --> 00:37:56,920 ♪ 973 00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,360 [rustling sound] - Whoa. 974 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,750 - [sighs] 975 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,750 What are you doing here? 976 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,190 - We came to warn you about the Men in Black. 977 00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:06,320 They took Dr. Ethan. - What? 978 00:38:06,370 --> 00:38:08,930 - In the spring, Max told them he was the alien. 979 00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:11,070 - Hey, you don't speak for me. 980 00:38:11,110 --> 00:38:12,370 Yeah, what she said is right. 981 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,200 - Anyway, once they realize he's a human, 982 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,720 they're gonna come back for Harry. 983 00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:18,550 Plus, there's an alien baby 984 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,550 killing animals outside, just FYI. 985 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,860 - Yup. I know about that. 986 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,690 Um, thank you for telling me. 987 00:38:23,730 --> 00:38:25,170 [whispers] Can you please sneak them home 988 00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:26,730 and make sure they don't get eaten? 989 00:38:26,780 --> 00:38:28,040 - I'll take care of them. 990 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560 But it looks like you're not gonna have 991 00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,090 any lights for a while longer. 992 00:38:31,130 --> 00:38:32,910 - [normal pitch] Okay. What are you guys 993 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,260 even doing here? Don't you have a babysitter? 994 00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:36,920 - It's Ellen. 995 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,010 - Say no more. Okay, get home safe. 996 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,760 - I think this is a really weird party. 997 00:38:49,230 --> 00:38:51,020 - Good cake, though. - Yeah. 998 00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:54,890 Am I a bad person if I like seeing other couples fight? 999 00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,420 - You're a horrible person. [both giggle] 1000 00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:02,340 [alien chirruping] 1001 00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:09,390 ♪ 1002 00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:11,560 [low growling noise] 1003 00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:14,780 ♪ 1004 00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:16,390 - Honey? What's wrong? 1005 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,790 - Something happened to me. 1006 00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:20,830 There's alien activity here, 1007 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,830 in Patience. I know it. 1008 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,750 - What are you gonna do? 1009 00:39:24,790 --> 00:39:27,060 - The only thing I can do. 1010 00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:28,930 I'm gonna call the alien tracker 1011 00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:30,410 and tell him to come to Patience 1012 00:39:30,450 --> 00:39:32,320 and find himself an alien. 1013 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,980 - Sorry about that, guys! 1014 00:39:34,020 --> 00:39:35,980 Raccoon definitely knocked out the power. 1015 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,810 Um, until we figure this out, 1016 00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:39,240 I think we should just stay put. 1017 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,770 - Better call D'arcy. She just left. 1018 00:39:41,810 --> 00:39:43,510 - [whispers] Ugh, damn it. 1019 00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:46,510 [dramatic music] 1020 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,510 ♪ 1021 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,730 [normal pitch] Hey! 1022 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:52,990 - Hey. - Oh. 1023 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,430 - Nice rifle. - [sighs] 1024 00:39:54,470 --> 00:39:56,350 - You headed out to scare up some vittles? 1025 00:39:56,390 --> 00:39:57,520 - Didn't you hear? 1026 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,650 There's a rabid raccoon on the loose. 1027 00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:02,310 - Good. Maybe it'll bite me. 1028 00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:04,350 If I start foaming at the mouth, don't shoot me. 1029 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,490 Just... 1030 00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,140 let me suffer. 1031 00:40:07,180 --> 00:40:09,230 - Don't listen to anything she says. 1032 00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:10,400 It's not true. 1033 00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:13,970 - Yeah it is, though. 1034 00:40:15,970 --> 00:40:17,630 - Do you know what my very first thought was 1035 00:40:17,670 --> 00:40:20,460 when I met Elliot? - Nice ass? 1036 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,810 - Yes. - Yeah. 1037 00:40:22,850 --> 00:40:24,330 - Do you know what my second thought was? 1038 00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:29,380 "How long till I mess this up?" 1039 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:31,860 ♪ 1040 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:34,210 What the shit is wrong with me? 1041 00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:35,520 ♪ 1042 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,520 - Okay. 1043 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,560 So un-mess it. 1044 00:40:39,610 --> 00:40:41,650 Call him. - Yeah, right. 1045 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,310 - Call him now. 1046 00:40:43,350 --> 00:40:44,310 I have a gun. 1047 00:40:44,350 --> 00:40:46,260 ♪ 1048 00:40:46,310 --> 00:40:48,050 - [groans] I'm not calling him. 1049 00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:49,050 - Okay, I'll do it. - No. 1050 00:40:49,090 --> 00:40:50,660 - Yeah. - No, no, no, no. 1051 00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:51,920 - No, no, I'll just do it. - You won't do that, 'cause no, 1052 00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:53,050 I'll text him. - I'll call-- 1053 00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:54,800 - Okay, I'll text him! I'll text him. 1054 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,150 ♪ 1055 00:40:57,190 --> 00:40:57,930 [sighs] 1056 00:40:57,970 --> 00:40:59,840 ♪ 1057 00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:01,540 What do I even say? 1058 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,890 - Uh, how about "Hi?" 1059 00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:06,940 - That's kind of brilliant. - Yeah. 1060 00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:08,900 [cell phone keyboard clicking] 1061 00:41:08,940 --> 00:41:11,030 - Okay, it's sent. 1062 00:41:11,070 --> 00:41:12,330 Ugh! Now I just have to be 1063 00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,810 nauseous for two weeks waiting to see if he-- 1064 00:41:13,860 --> 00:41:14,770 [cell phone buzzes] Oh, my God. 1065 00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:18,040 - [laughs] Hey! Hi. 1066 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,170 - You're a goddamn genius. 1067 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,730 - [laughs] 1068 00:41:20,780 --> 00:41:21,740 Hi. - Hi. 1069 00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:22,740 It's simple. It works. 1070 00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:23,820 - Yes. - Hi. 1071 00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:24,830 - Okay, are you gonna write back? 1072 00:41:24,870 --> 00:41:26,740 - No. I mean, in a couple days. 1073 00:41:26,780 --> 00:41:28,440 What am I, desperate? 1074 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,400 - Baby, this is for you. 1075 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,660 [sniffs] Mmm. 1076 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,530 Mmm. 1077 00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:37,660 Come and get it! 1078 00:41:37,710 --> 00:41:40,620 [suspenseful music] 1079 00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:42,450 - [clicking] 1080 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,240 - Oh. 1081 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,280 Oh. 1082 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,110 ♪ 1083 00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:51,290 [whimsical music] 1084 00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,160 ♪ 1085 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,730 - [squeals] - [grunts] 1086 00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:56,860 - [yowls] 1087 00:41:56,900 --> 00:41:57,900 ♪ 1088 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,560 [electricity crackles] 1089 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,820 - [sighs] 1090 00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:06,820 - Hello, Harry. 1091 00:42:06,870 --> 00:42:08,390 I'm Goliath. 1092 00:42:08,430 --> 00:42:09,570 - Goliath. 1093 00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:14,480 Why are you inside a hybrid alien baby? 1094 00:42:14,530 --> 00:42:16,750 - Clever, right? 1095 00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:18,970 I needed to send you a message, 1096 00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:22,230 and this is a big one. 1097 00:42:22,270 --> 00:42:24,320 First, you need to know that our people are not coming 1098 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,670 to kill everyone. - Why are they not coming? 1099 00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,320 - Because it's too dangerous. 1100 00:42:28,370 --> 00:42:29,930 There's an alien race that's planning 1101 00:42:29,980 --> 00:42:32,070 to take over the Earth. They're here, Harry. 1102 00:42:32,110 --> 00:42:33,720 - What alien race? 1103 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,640 - You must be careful. They are-- 1104 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:36,720 [gunshot] - [squeals] 1105 00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:38,330 - Wha-- 1106 00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:39,640 Ah. 1107 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:45,600 ♪ 1108 00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:46,650 No... 1109 00:42:46,690 --> 00:42:48,910 ♪ 1110 00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:52,040 - You should've just stayed in Colorado and done your job. 1111 00:42:52,090 --> 00:42:53,700 - You shot me. 1112 00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:56,610 - Yeah, like you shot two of my guys in New York. 1113 00:42:56,660 --> 00:43:00,570 I should have never made you kill Sam Hodges. 1114 00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:02,360 I should have just taken care of it myself. 1115 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,310 [gun cocks] 1116 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,060 [gunshot] 1117 00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:10,670 ♪ 1118 00:43:10,710 --> 00:43:12,060 - Asta. 1119 00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:19,240 ♪ 1120 00:43:19,290 --> 00:43:22,070 [Belle and Sebastian's "The Boy With the Arab Strap"] 1121 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:28,340 ♪ 1122 00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:30,250 - Holy shit. 1123 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,690 - [panting] Harry... 1124 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:37,090 - ♪ A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time ♪ 1125 00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:38,650 ♪ The odor of old prison food ♪ 1126 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,880 ♪ Takes a long time to pass you by ♪ 1127 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:46,660 ♪ 1128 00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:50,410 ♪ Day upon day, this wandering gets you down ♪ 1129 00:43:50,450 --> 00:43:53,360 ♪ Nobody gives you a chance or a dollar ♪ 1130 00:43:53,410 --> 00:43:55,580 ♪ In this old town 1131 00:43:55,630 --> 00:44:00,590 ♪ 1132 00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:03,680 ♪ Hovering silence from you is a giveaway ♪ 1133 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,680 ♪ Squalor and smoke's not your style ♪ 77867

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