Original subtitles

Previously on This Is Us... Soph, I made a horrible mistake.

It happened one time and it didn't mean anything.

I'm so sorry.

I heard the pool closed down.

The one we went to growing up.

Just want to check it out before it disappears.

Kev, right now's probably not the right...

Don't follow me. I'm not 12.

Build me that house.

The house he was gonna build for me.

This is it, this is

the land that will eventually become

the Pearson family mecca.

Hey, look at me.

You give me that photo,

or the entire village pays, including you and your child.

Would you want to help

Nicky oversee the construction?

I'll think about it.

You'll think about it. Very good.

Well, you think away.

I'm a little nervous, so I wrote down some notes.

Um...

There is no easy way to start this.

Um...

Come on, guys. Come on.

First day of summer, we don't want

to be the last ones in the pool.

- And you know what Mom and Dad have for you guys. - Oh!

Swim goggles!

- I want one! - Share, share...

I want to go on the diving board.

Don't you think we ought to teach you how to swim first,

- Kev? Yeah, I know you didn't like

taking your swim lessons, but they sure

helped your brother learn to swim at the Y.

Guys, I'm gonna touch the drain!

I want to dive off the diving board and touch the drain.

Hey, once more for the cheap seats:

We got to teach you how to swim first, okay?

Let's say we do something about that, huh?

Take your shirt off. Hey, you, uh, you got Kate?

Yeah. I got Kate.

You ready?

Come on. Whoa.

Yeah, I don't think he's here.

He was drunk and said he was going to the pool.

We don't have a lot of other leads.

You know, Beth seemed really eager

to take the early train back to school.

Yeah, wouldn't you be, too, after that dinner?

I wish I was on it with her.

Kev?

What are you doing?

Oh, good, you guys are here.

Working on my Triple Lindy.

Kev... Stop.

Kevin. Kevin! Hey. - Come on. Hey... Wa... Hey.

Please, can you just get down?

- Please. Come on, man.

- Stop. - You literally just recovered

from a broken leg.

If I dive off, I can touch the drain.

I need you all to hear my voice right now.

Your mother's voice, with all of her faculties.

You will not make your lives smaller because of me.

This thing that's happening to me

will not be the thing that holds you back.

So take the risks.

Make the big moves, even if they're small moves.

Forge ahead with your lives

in any and every direction that moves you.

I am your mother

and I'm sick.

And I'm asking you to be fearless.

- Hey. - Hey.

Heard you had a rough night in there. You all right?

Eh, all part of being the parent of a teenager.

As you'll see all too soon.

Yo, safe travels, siblings.

Okay, we'll see you guys in L. A.

For Mom and Mig's anniversary party.

All right. - Love you.

Love you.

Well, I am off to start my fearless, best life for Mom.

- Whatever that is. - Do you, brother.

: You guys take care.

Come on, guys, it's, like, really...

It's Counting Crows. It's like a lullaby.

Don't you want to go to sleep?

Huh? Do you want to get some sleep

so Daddy can get some sleep?

Huh? It's time to go to bed.

Guys? It's...

Do you think it's me or the Crows?

- The combination? - It's...

I can never get them to sleep when they're supposed to,

you know, when Madison's not around.

They're here with me and t-they're up

all night, they're crying.

You just got to parent with confidence, Kev.

You know, they really respond to that kind of energy.

You can do it.

I really want to be great at guitar.

Yeah, well...

Applesauce. Applesauce.

Come on. Yeah, baby, you got this.

Don't breathe in.

Don't breathe it in.

I can't get any in my mouth.

Okay, home free.

That's... I don't know how they linger like that.

Legit, it's awful.

Going anywhere over our break, Kevin?

Uh, yeah, you know,

Madison had the kids over Thanksgiving,

so I thought I'd take them to our family cabin.

That sounds nice. - Yeah, it'll be great.

How many nannies you bringing?

- Well, our one nanny, actually,

we gave her two weeks off to visit her family, so...

Wait, so

you're traveling east with the twins?

I am.

- Alone? - I am?

Are you insane?

At least go on some trial runs first.

I'm taking the kids to the cabin, okay?

It's fine. Uncle Nicky will be there.

So, family will be there.

Uncle Nicky is your ace in the hole here?

- Okay, no.

Fine. Listen, uh, Cassidy will be there, too.

Cassidy.

It's not like that.

Okay? It's not like that. She's there supervising

the construction with Nicky.

Okay? And she's bringing her son Matty.

So Nicky and Franny will have someone to play with.

- It'll be great. Wait, uh...

- Isn't her son, like, 24? - 24?

He's-he's, like, a 12-year-old boy.

What are you... You know what?

Enough, all right? Enough of this.

I'm taking the kids to the cabin.

You guys are underestimating me, as usual.

- All right...

There we go.

Celebrities, they're just like us, right?

All right, so...

Yeah, I'll be right back for you.

Perfect.

There for a second... Hey. All right.

And...

Oh, oh, that's-that's a special...

You-you went there, you went there before we took off?

Oh, geez...

Sorry about the smell, you know?

Got a bit of a, little bit of a blowout.

Celebrities, they're just like us, am I right?

You already said that and I don't know who you are.

Yeah, okay.

Well... Hey, you know what I can... I-I...

Why don't I buy everybody a drink?

Who wants a drink?

It's first class.

- They already drink for free. - Right.

We're good, we're good.

We're getting it.

We can do this.

We-we can do this, we can do this.

Yeah. We can do this.

Yeah, huh?

- : Franny's sleeping. Oh, I know.

They're babies. Hello.

I can't believe you made it. I said to Edie this morning,

"I'll bet you five bucks the kid doesn't even get on the plane."

Oh, and that's why you don't bet against the kid.

Don't call yourself that.

It's-it's easier if you just lift

the whole car seat like this...

No, so they don't wake them.

I got it.

- Yeah. Piece of cake.

Oh, hey, you remember Matty.

- Oh, hey. - Cassidy's son.

What's up, man?

- You play guitar? - I'm learning.

You're taking guitar lessons?

I'm, you know, I'm self-teaching.

- Oh, boy. - Here.

- Oh. - Case he gets cold.

- Come on. Hey, Kevin.

Hey. Edie.

I bet this is the first peace and quiet you've had all day.

Oh, don't you know it. Good to see you again.

- You look great. - Thank you. Good to see you.

Can I just ask you a question?

Is he holding you here against your will?

Because it's the only explanation as to why

you'd still be with him. Just, you know...

: Blink twice for yes.

- : He slashed my tires. - Oh.

Help me.

Hey, Matty. Matty, where's your mom?

- She's up at the site.

Is that a jackhammer?

Uh, yeah, we're doing some demoing.

Doing some demoing? What... We haven't built anything yet.

So, how the hell do you pour foundation wrong, anyway?

It happens. Relax. - Yeah?

Hey, uh, either one of you seen Cassidy?

In the back.

By the Bobcat.

Hey!

- What the hell happened? Oh, good to see you, too.

I know, Matty's getting so big.

It's just crazy, time just flies.

- How was your flight? - Cassidy.

Hey.

We had a little setback.

A little setback... Oh, you know, when I asked you to hire

a couple of workers, I meant real construction workers.

You know? Not just some clowns off the street.

Yeah, they're not clowns, they're vets.

Yeah, who've done a lot harder jobs

than building cabins with bidets for movie stars.

- What?

Sorry, you just called Kevin a movie star.

Your architect's scales

were incorrect for the back room,

but I should have caught it before we started to pour.

- It's my bad. - Yeah, obviously.

- Oh, come on, cool it. - I am cool.

Just what-what is this? What am I looking at?

- Does this set us back a week, a month? Hey.

You don't pay me enough to take this crap.

I need to get back to work.

- The hell's her problem? - Her problem?

Oh, I don't know. Kid's not taking the divorce well,

I hear her pacing the halls at night when she crashes here.

And she devoted her adult life to a war

that just ended with an apology and a fart.

So, you know, that kind of stuff.

She's busting her ass for you, kid.

- We're all busting our ass here. - I know.

I know.

And you're right. I'm sorry.

It's just...

I'm sort of a stressed-out parent myself, you know?

No, no, you're an idiot.

I mean, why-why didn't you just fly Mary Poppins

out here on, you know, one of your Learjets?

- No, because I can do this.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were being cute.

All right...

Uhp. Which...

You want to go... I'll go that way.

Can't imagine why you two didn't work out.

Uh-huh.

Hey, listen, um, I just wanted to say...

I'm sorry about, you know, being a dick earlier.

Uh, you mean, like, an hour ago, or, like, since I met you?

Like, an hour ago.

Mm. Sorry for the foundation screwup.

Is that "sorry for the foundation screwup"

or "sorry for the foundation, Screwup"?

Can it be both?

Oh, can I sit there?

You want to sit here? Yeah, sure.

All right. You know what I think we need to do?

- Toast. Yeah? Cheers. Yeah.

- Cheers. Thank you for coming.

It's good to have everyone here, right?

- Uh... Oh, thanks.

Okay. What you got?

Pennsylvania Avenue. $320.

Well, actually, that's my property,

and it's $1,100, so you owe me $1,400.

Whoa. Okay. Cool...

All right, Kev, your turn.

Come on, bud.

- What?!

Stay, guys.

$500, please.

Can I play guitar?

Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's do it.

Here we go. All right.

Nice and relaxed, there you go.

- Remember that shape of a D? - Oh, yeah.

Yeah?

Good.

Ooh, almost there.

- Think you push a little harder.

Oh, you know, I-I miss the jackhammer.

- I'm sorry, guys, that is enough.

You're kidding. It takes time. - Let me find some real music.

It takes time to rip. - Excuse me.

Come on, dance with me, baby.

- Oh, baby. - All right.

Let's show these youngins how it's done, honey.

Come on, Smokey.

Hello?

This is he.

Car accident... A car accident?

Wait, hold-hold on, that's impossible.

Cassidy? I was just with...

- Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. - I already know how to kick.

Just take one more step in. - I don't want to.

Okay.

Now can I go off the diving board?

You want to go off the diving board?

You got to pass a swim test

if you want to go into the deep end.

All right?

Look. Hey, you see these kids?

You see them when they jump off the diving board

and they're swimming to the side,

they're swimming to the wall? You see that?

They're not sinking to the bottom.

So, hey, how about you swim to that wall...

You think you can do that?

Okay. Here we go.

Go ahead.

Jack?

Yeah, I-I got him.

Jack.

: Okay, okay.

I got him.

He's just a child, Jack.

Yeah, and someday he's gonna be a man.

Hey, you're not ready for the deep end yet, bud.

- Okay? - Leave me alone.

Hey, hey, Bug? You're gonna stay here with Daddy...

All I ever wanted, um,

when I was little was to touch this damn drain.

Mission completed.

And I feel nothing.

Ooh, God.

- You're so depressing.

- Ugh... - I was just

scared my hair was gonna get caught in it.

That's an urban legend.

No one ever got their hair caught in...

- Randall! No!

- I thought I lost you.

You...

You got me. - I don't belong here.

In the deep end.

I-I belong in the shallow end.

'C-Cause I'm shallow a-and stupid.

- Oh, we got it, yeah. - Yeah.

Randall.

You belong in the deep end.

You're the brainiac.

Kate, you do, too, you know,

if you could ever get out of your own way.

I just don't have what it takes.

I'm not, uh... solid.

The one solid thing I had in my life

was Sophie and I blew it.

I don't have the right stuff underneath me.

I don't have the, uh

- uh... - Foundation.

The foundation. See, brainiac?

Yeah.

You know what?

Maybe I'll quit acting.

Maybe I'll stay here in Pittsburgh

and I'll pound nails like Dad.

'Cause Dad, Dad was solid.

He put a roof over our heads.

Maybe I'll do that.

Okay, all right.

Come on, Kev. Let's get out of here.

No. I am going to

sleep in the deep end tonight,

I want to feel what it's like, just for the night.

Yep. Mm-hmm.

Hi. A friend of ours was in a car accident.

Cassidy Sharp?

Yes. She's in with the doctors now.

Take a seat over there.

When the doctors are done with her,

they'll come out to you.

Uh, we were told that she's conscious and talking?

A seat. Over there.

Thanks.

This whole thing could be my fault.

- What? - I mean, the way

I jumped all over her about the jackhammering.

You know, I'm an addict myself, I

should have known better than that.

Maybe she, you know, couldn't sleep

and caved in, had a few drinks, got behind the wheel.

Yeah, you give yourself too much credit.

Here.

You're friends of the patient Cassidy Sharp?

- Yeah, how is she? - She's resting now.

Though uncomfortably. She refused any painkillers,

except Tylenol.

Well, yeah, she's a recovering addict.

Yeah, sh-she made that clear.

And there was no alcohol involved?

No, none in her system. She's gonna be okay.

She suffered a fractured clavicle and broken arm.

The humerus bone.

Maybe she went to get ice cream.

You know? It's late, nothing's open.

She got tired and she...

She's gonna be okay, though?

Yes. Yes. From what I understand,

the pole took the worst of it. It was a direct hit.

But we're gonna keep an eye on her overnight, maybe two.

She's sleeping now.

And given that she didn't want a pain sedative,

that sleep's gonna be very important to her.

And her doctor.

So I suggest you come back in the morning, okay?

Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Very much.

- Thank God. - Yeah.

Look, a broken arm, broken clavicle,

it's not like it's nothing, but she's sober.

And she's refusing her pain medications,

so that's good, right?

Lighten up. She's gonna be all right.

"Lighten up," he says.

Do you know what she did in Afghanistan?

Human intelligence. That means

every day that she went out in the field,

she'd visit, uh, some poor villager's house,

and she'd say, "As long as you help us,

"we will protect you.

We will get you out of the country."

Sometimes she even meant it.

But even if she didn't,

that's the job.

Um... you sell it.

- She-she didn't seem that off to me, honestly. - Oh,

that's right. I forgot. You went to Vietnam.

You got yourself a little necklace, right?

Yeah, you're the expert.

Look, people like Cassidy,

they don't give you a heads-up when they're not okay.

You find out the hard way.

You understand?

At dinner, she didn't sit with her back to the door.

Now, I've seen that before.

I've been that before.

You don't just

get better.

And if you think I'm exaggerating,

let me remind you that your father

drank in secret trying to forget.

Let me remind you when you busted into my trailer,

there was a gun sitting in front of me.

That was 50 years after boots left Vietnam.

Look, let's just go.

I mean, you heard the doctor. We'll go out, we'll come back

- fresh and early. - Whoa, whoa, I... It's... You know, maybe...

Should one of us stay?

You want to stay?

- Me? - Well, you're her friend,

- right? - Yeah.

Course. I just...

I understand it's the right thing to do.

I just... I don't know if I'm

if I'm the right guy to-to do it.

Don't try to help her, all right?

Okay? You-you just being here, that's enough.

Just do nothing. Just...

Just be.

Just be.

At least we got the news to cheer us up, right?

Yeah.

I don't know why I didn't go home.

It was literally the doctor's orders, you know?

He said, "Go home. There's nothing you can do here."

But, you know, s-staying here is the right thing to do.

'Cause I don't... I don't have any...

I don't have any real friends.

Other than my family, she's

one of the only people I truly care about.

So...

So here I am.

Here I am.

Wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday and drinking

this hospital coffee.

Even though I know there's a real coffee shop

two minutes away, I won't go.

I won't go. I refuse to leave.

You ever feel like you're...

Like you're performing

in a movie that no one else is watching?

You know what I mean? Like, like, um...

Like you're always...

You're trying to do the right thing.

You're trying to be the right kind of person

instead of just

being that person.

I want to be the kind of man that does the right thing

because it's the right thing to do.

The kind of man that's just there, you know?

Just there.

Think maybe I am.

Or I'm trying to be.

But how do you know? How do you know if you are

or if you're acting like you are?

You ever think about that?

I'm just waiting on my wife.

Sir?

You can see your friend now.

Tell me what happened.

Dad tried to drowned me.

Your dad did not try to drown you.

Yes, he did.

No.

Kev, the last thing your dad wants to do

is drown you.

The first thing he wants to do is teach you how to swim

before you jump on that board

so you don't drown.

I know those two things

don't seem like they're in the right order, but...

It's like

trying to put one of the roofs on your Lego houses

before you built the walls to support it.

Your dad is really good at building things.

And not just houses but character, too.

So you would do well by listening to him.

I'm not like Dad.

: Oh, believe me.

You're exactly like him.

- I'm right here to hold on to, sweetie. Why don't we go

get back in the pool with your sister.

And thank you for the Creamsicle, Mom.

Thanks for the Creamsicle, Mom.

Okay, come on.

Hey. You know that thing you said

- about being shallow and stupid? - Yeah.

You are shallow. And stupid.

Really are, Kev.

: Yeah.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Finally, someone understands me!

Oh,

and, also, you're gonna be a screwup for a while.

- But, um, I know you pretty well,

and you'll figure it out someday.

Not tomorrow.

Yeah, definitely not tomorrow.

Edie and Nicky are watching Matty.

He's fine.

He's a little worried, but he's doing better

knowing that you're gonna be okay.

I'm not gonna bug you with questions

about what you were doing or what happened.

I'm just gonna sit here with you.

I want you to know that I'm here.

I'm not going anywhere.

I don't sleep well.

Bad habit I brought back.

So sometimes I go for a drive.

Just to calm my mind, not

think about all the people that I, uh

left behind.

The ones I betrayed.

My friends who died.

The ones who survived just to come back here and die.

It's all

tightly wound together in a knot.

Gets to be a lot.

It's,

so much.

It's at its heaviest when.

I'm alone and Matty goes back to his dad.

It's like it's crushing me.

But

last night...

It was really nice.

It was wonderful with everybody.

Family and friends.

It's warm, and laughter is so light.

Just want it to last forever.

But I knew it wouldn't.

So, I went for a drive

'cause I couldn't sleep.

And I lived in our happy night a little longer.

Until I got tired.

I got really tired.

: And I didn't fight the sleep.

I just kept driving faster and faster.

To somewhere I... I had never been, but.

I often thought about going.

Hey.

Hey.

It's okay, kid.

It's okay.

Okay, well, where-where are you now?

Okay. So, when you get to Mill Road,

navigation's just gonna take you in circles,

- so just follow the instructions I text you.

- Yeah. Come here, baby.

- : Thank you very much. - Come here, sweetie.

- Okay. - Yes. Oh.

Yeah. No, I'll-I'll go tell him... I'll go tell him now.

Okay. See you in a bit.

All right. Look at you. You're sounding great.

So, I just got off the phone with your dad.

He said he's gonna come by and pick you up.

I think you're gonna go by the hospital

to visit your mom on your way out of town, okay?

Your dad said it's cool. Said he wants to see her, too.

Does she look bad?

Your mom? No.

No, your mom... your mom could never look bad.

And it's gonna take more than a fender bender to keep her down.

But I think it would cheer her up to see you.

You know, when I was at the hospital last night,

I was visiting your mom.

And I was gonna buy her a get-well card,

but everything they had was kind of lame.

You know? It was cheesy.

So, I was thinking maybe you and I

work together, and we build her a card of our own.

What do you think about that? Hmm?

All right.

But I'm no good at painting.

Oh, no, it doesn't matter. You don't have to be good.

You know, when I first started acting,

every time I got a new role, I would paint.

I would go buy a bunch of paint and just-just have at it.

Freed up my mind.

But, uh, you know,

then I got self-conscious, and I quit.

Picked up other hobbies, like the guitar.

Want to help?

- I said okay, like, an hour ago.

Yeah. Yeah, don't be shy.

Get in there. Blue?

- You like blue? All right. - Yeah.

- Get some green. - Green. Green and blue.

- Let's do them both. Yeah. - Yeah.

Ooh. Blue's my mom's favorite color.

Get out of here.

Blue is my favorite color.

Be good.

Thank you.

So, how's the foundation coming, Studenmund?

He's Studenmund. I'm Gross.

Oh, no, you're not. You're just a little dirty.

But, you know, you're working construction,

so it's to be... figured. It was a joke.

- Cute. Thanks.

After the inspection, we'll start framing by end of week.

- Great. Good.

Where'd you all learn how to build, anyway?

Seabees.

Navy Construction Battalion.

If you decide you want to build

another cabin, you know who to call.

- Yeah? Okay. Thank you. - All right.

Wow.

Guys, come on.

I'll be fine. I've been through worse,

- trust me. No.

No, you haven't.

I spoke to the VA.

They have a specialist,

a readjustment counselor that you can speak to.

She's good.

I spoke to her.

Your grandpa used to love sitting up here.

He'd sit out here, taking in the world, you know?

You know your cousin was named after him?

Did you know that? Huh? Can you say "Jack"?

Can you say "Jack"?

Anyway, for your grandfather,

having the tough childhood that he... that he did,

I think building that cabin was sort of a pipe dream.

But he would have built it.

He would have built it if he'd just had the time.

- Up. Up. Thank you.

There we go. There we go.

All right.

All right, yeah.

We're gonna put it right up there.

We're gonna put it right up there.

- Hi. Straight back. - Bring her in.

- Careful, careful, careful. - Here she comes.

Okay. I'm all right. My legs aren't broken.

Well, it's good to see the hospital mellowed you out.

It's awfully quiet. What'd you do, fire my crew?

: No. No, that's the sound of work being done,

not redone.

Ah, ah, ah. Where you going?

You're this way.

Go on.

Got you set up here. You'll have

- the whole room to yourself, so... Wow.

Okay.

Big Three Homes.

What's this?

Oh, that's...

Did you know that your crew built schools in war zones?

Yeah. Why do you think we hired 'em?

I think we should hire a few more.

Few more what? - More of your guys and gals.

I think we should hire more vets.

That's great, Kev, but we've already got

enough workers for the house.

What if I got us more homes to build?

How much money you got, kid?

All right.

Here we go.

What's this? You want to clap?

- Patty-cake?

Shh, shh.

Want me to hold you? Want me to get you here?

How about this? How about this? How about that?

Huh? It's okay. What do you think? Huh?

Hmm?

Get you anything, sir? - Oh, um...

No, I think we're fine.

You're good.

I'm getting there.

I'm getting there.

Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org