All language subtitles for Madison Baker Was Here (2021)_en

That's one small step for man,

one giant leap for mankind.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Box top.

Huh?

You need a top for your box.

A top won't fit with all my trophies.

Respect the hardware.

There are far, far better things ahead
than any we leave behind.

That's a little deep
for Cassidy Gordon, isn't it?

I saw it online.

All packed?

One suitcase, one carry-on.

The movers come for the rest tomorrow
after we leave.

Wheels up at 9:00 AM.

Wheels up.

That's jivey.

My dad's trying to make it sound exciting.

Yeah, it's smart to keep things upbeat

when you're ripping your family
from their beloved home.

Cass, he's worked hard
for this opportunity.

I'm not thrilled about Wichita,
but he's happy.

It's been a while since I could say that.

Very mature, Baker.

She would have been proud.

Truth or death?

Madison, the toilet's clogged again.

So unclog it, Paige.

I didn't clog it.

Cassie.

We're leaving tomorrow.

Are you going to miss me?

Only if my aim is off.

Go pack something, tiny Baker.

Why does she hate me?

Cassie hates everyone.

It's a big tent, animus.

Where's Blaire?

Hey, subs.

We have arrived at the Baker house.

A really big tent.

We are here live
for the final hours of Madison Baker's.

Jesus, Blaire.

What's wrong with you?

For the final hours
of Madison Baker's residentuality.

That's not a word.

She's a neologist.

My hair looks amazing.

And a narcissist.

Madison, you have to unclog the toilet.

Oh, I'm filming that.

No.

Since this has become a going-away party,
I'm going away.

Cassie, wait.

We can't say goodbye like this.

I didn't say goodbye.

Just stop.

Toilet.

Stay, Cass.

This is our last chance to see each other.

What if it's not our last chance?

It's not going to unclog itself.

What can I do to make you stop talking?

Give me your phone.

What do you mean?

The toilet is clogged again.

Hi, Mr. Baker.

Is there flooding?

It's a disaster.

Are you consuming too much fiber?

No, Nina.

Properly hydrated?

Dad, I'm talking to my friends here.

Oh, I'll take care of it.

Take care of Paige too.

Paige, inside.

Hanson, we all set for tomorrow?

Bye, Mr. Baker.

Goodbye, Paige.

Can I use your phone?

When I'm dead.

I guess this is goodbye then?

It doesn't have to be.

This sounds deviant.

Let's sneak out tonight,
you and me.

And me.

I'd be grounded forever.

The tension rises.

Two outcomes.

One, you don't get caught
and sleep blissfully on the plane,

dreaming of your subversive adventure.

Or two, you do get caught
and you're grounded in Wichita,

which sounds redundant.

Either way,
you get a night to remember.

Wichita is the air capital of the world.

Not helping, Nina.

I'm totally in.

You're totally not invited.

Cass.

Fine,
Blaire is invited.

So you're in?

I didn't say that.

I can go.

Still not helping, Nina.

You would sneak out of your house?

I would for research.

And I could stream the whole thing.

You're missing the point, Blaire.

There's no point.

It's not worth getting caught,
or kidnapped.

Or worse.

What's worse than being kidnapped?

Have you seen Saw?

No, I never saw that.

If you'd seen Saw, you'd know.

Have an adventure, Mads.

There are crazy people out there.

Well, I have pepper spray.

Blaire, put that away.

See?

We're protected.

We'll go somewhere safe
and be back before anyone notices.

What about your parents?

They'll be closing the bar.

By the time they get home,
they'll just assume I'm asleep.

And I'll say I'm sleeping over at Nina's.

It's a school night.

Then I'll just sneak out
after my mom goes asleep.

It's not that difficult.

Have you done this before?

Of course not,
I'm not a delinquent.

I don't know about this, Cass.

Baker hesitates.

Will she, or won't she?

Subscribe to find out.

By this time tomorrow,

you'll be unpacking a carry-on in Kansas.

Do you really want to spend
your last night in California

tucked in bed reading?

I like reading.

Okay, I'm in.

Oh, really?

Dad.

You have an opportunity here.

If you tell on your sister,
you get nothing.

But if you keep your mouth shut,
she owes you something, right?

I guess so.

Isn't there something you want from her?

Oh, no.

Your phone is mine.

You can use it tonight.

Forever.

Not happening.

Dad.

If you can cover for me successfully,

you can keep the phone.

We've got company.

My mom made me come say goodbye,

so I brought you a present, shortie.

Now you can reach the counters
at your new house.

That's very thoughtful.

Thanks, Joslyn.

Tell Barbara I said thank you.

I don't allow you to say my mother's name.

That's odd.

I was pretty sure
your mom's name was Rosemary.

I don't know what that means, smartass,

but I don't like it.

You want another ambulance
to show up at your house, Gordon?

Joslyn, the dog's eating chocolate.

I'll be right there, mom.

Too bad you won't get to see me
as Juliet in the arms of my Romeo.

Maybe at your next school,

you won't have to deal with
actors as talented as me,

and might get a part in the school play.

Even if it's just something small.

You didn't even...

Enjoy, hobbit.

At least Joslyn's not in Wichita.

There's a Joslyn everywhere.

Why didn't you just punch her in the face?

That would be awesome.

Violence doesn't solve anything.

Worked in the American Revolution.

The War of 1812.

Both world wars.

Wonder Woman?

She's just a bully.

Dad says we have to stand up to bullies.

It doesn't matter now.

I never have to see her again.

It's a really nice stool.

Meanwhile, back at the plan
to sneak out.

Where and when?

Seriously, Blaire?

It's a bird call
to let you know that we're here.

No bird sounds like that.

Well, maybe it was an exotic bird.

In this park?

There's a pet store in Bidwell.

They sell exotic birds.

Was that your mating call, Blaire?

What does this sound like to you?

Would you stop that please?

What's in the bag, Cass?

Courage.

Shall we?

I have a bad feeling about this.

We snuck out to go to school.

That bad feeling is called disappointment.

Hey, guys, it's Blaire.

On this episode of Where's Blaire,

we are sitting at-

Blaire.

What?

Please keep this off the Internet.

It's for my fans.

It's evidence.

And the last thing I need

is proof of my being here
when I don't have to be.

You just don't understand
the importance of social media.

The one girl in the world without a phone.

Because I hate social and media.

I don't have a phone.

No one would call you.

Who actually calls anyone?

It's a distraction from research.

This is the last time
we'll all be here together.

Lucky you.

Why do you hate it here so much?

This place is a prison.

You need to make more friends.

I need less friends.

You're very antisocial.

Almost.

She has six of the seven
qualifying subfeatures,

comorbid with substance abuse.

But I've yet to observe that.

That reminds me.

I brought vodka.

Gordon presenting maladaptive behavior.

Maybe I need new friends.

Now you're just being passive-aggressive.

I can drop the passive.

So what kind of vodka is it?

The kind to make you forget
that you ditched home to go to school.

You're not actually going to drink that,
are you?

Not alone.

This is so exciting.

Where did you even get this?

My parents own a bar.

There's more bottles in my house
than picture frames.

And you expect us to drink this?

Everyone except Nina.

Fun's not her thing.

Who's first?

Oh, me.

Feels so adult.

Delightful.

It gets easier.

Does it?

So I've heard.

You're up, Mads.

I don't think I should.

Why? Are you driving?

You said hang out.

You never mentioned drinking.

Suit yourself.

More for me.

Truth or death?

I'll go.

That was my first drink of vodka.

Ever.

Revelation.

Have something you'd like to share, Cass?

That's why I brought it.

Try it, Madison.

The buzz is amazing.

You took one sip, Blaire.

If your blood alcohol level
is over 0.08 percent,

you're considered legally inebriated.

So depending on
what she's eaten recently

and factoring Blair's petite-

Shut up, Nina.

See?

That wasn't passive at all.

I can handle it, Nina Pearl.

Your middle name is Pearl?

Why, was Eunice already taken?

Drink up, Mildred's not looking.

Would it kill you to be
a little nicer to her?

I don't know, but I'm not
really willing to risk it.

What's really bothering you?

This campus?

What's so bad about school?

Oh, let me see.

The mental incarceration.

Pretentious lecturing.

Ostentatious social theater.

You have an expansive vocabulary
for someone who hates school so much.

I read a lot.

Drink.

Be merry.

For tomorrow,
you're a Kansan.

Why would anyone ever drink that?

Have more.

You'll find out.

I'm good for now.

Truth or death?

I believe it's your turn.

Do you have any regrets?

I should have done more.

More what?

Anything I wanted but was afraid to try.

Volleyball, spirit club.

Nauseating.

Something that would
define my existence here.

I don't think you're supposed
to define your existence by age 14.

Well, Dakota Fanning was nominated
for a SAG award when she was eight.

That's another thing.

I finally try out for drama-

And Joslyn got the lead.

She has the nerve to rub it in your face
every chance she gets.

This is a blast.

There's something else.

Well, tell.

We're all waiting.

It's stupid.

Even better.

Can't be more stupid than spirit club.

Forget it.

Sorry, Mads.

You opened this door.

You have to walk through it.

It's not called truth or never mind.

Put the phone away, Blaire.

I have a crush on Ryan Bright.

This is news.

It never leaves this table,
got it?

You sure waited until the last minute
to make this a thing.

I've never had the nerve to say it.

He doesn't even know I'm alive.

Well, he's Romeo in the play.

Surely you saw each other at auditions.

I saw him.

why didn't you just tell him?

Because I'm a girl.

We don't just tell them.

We smile in their direction
and expect them to get the hint.

And how'd that work out for you?

Well, text him.

Don't have a phone, Blaire.

Use my phone.

Wait.

Guys, I know where Ryan Bright lives.

Let's go to his house right now.

Profess your love.

Yeah, and then Wichita
will be far enough away

to honor the restraining order.

Absolutely not happening.

But this is your chance.

Besides, what's the worst that can happen?

It's not like you have to show up tomorrow
and be the laughing stock of the school.

That's not encouraging.

I think we should stay right here.

Right, Nina?

Nina, are you okay?

My alcohol blood level
is over 0.08 percent.

You drank the rest?

Research.

You pushed her to this, Cassie.

I have nothing to do with this.

She's trying to fit in with you.

Weren't we discussing your love
for Ryan Bright?

We must go to his house.

Whose house?

Ryan Bright.

We're at Ryan Bright's house?

No, we're not at Ryan Bright's house.

And no, we're not going
to Ryan Bright's house.

We can't go anywhere with Nina like this.

But you love him.

She loves who?

Ryan Bright.

Oh.

Oh, that's good,

because he really likes you.

How do you know this?

She's drunk,
she doesn't know anything.

But seriously, Nina, how do you know this?

We have Chemistry together.

He thinks you're so cute.

And you never told her about this?

I'm an observer, not a catalyst.

Well, I'm a catalyst.

Let's catalyst.

Okay.

We can't catalyst with Slurs-A-Lot.

I'll get us a ride.

What would I even do
if I got to his house?

Serenade him?

How romantic.

It'll be just like Romeo and Juliet,

with less suicide.

Well, DM, FaceTime, like his photos.

Oh, tell him to subscribe
to Where's Blaire.

It doesn't make a difference
if I'm leaving in a matter of hours.

I had all this time, and I never made
a difference to anyone or anything.

Would you regret not trying?

I really need to burp.

Ew.

Don't use that line in your serenade.

Might as well have been
a ghost in this place.

Well, we can change that tonight, Mads.

There's a car on the way.

Let her go.

Bye, Madison.

Have a good-looking Wichita.

She's not going
to Wichita right now, Nina.

Oh, we're going to Wichita?

God, no.

We didn't do anything wrong.

This is all your fault.

I'm not responsible for Nina.

You have a bigger impact on people
than you think.

Go tell it to all your fans, Blaire.

Well, then you tell Madison
that this is her last chance

to do anything she wants in this town.

She won't risk getting in trouble.

Nothing's getting Madison
off of this campus.

Well, then we have to convince her.

Where's that ride?

I guess she's convinced.

The police are here.

We have to go now.

I don't want to go to prison.

Orange can't be my new black.

Come on, Blaire.

Just stay down.

You're so difficult.

Oh, look at this.

That must be it.

You need a ride?

Yes.

Where are you headed?

Away from here.

Quickly.

Are you in trouble?

Not if you start driving.

Got it.

Turn here.

Party is over, I guess.

Back to your house?

Really?

Madison is moving to Wichita.

Nina needs to get home.

We've had our fun.

But the night just started.

There's a clearly defined mission.

We can't just quit now.

It's this one.

We just let this nice man drive us over
to Ryan's house for a few minutes,

and then we come right back.

Twenty more minutes, max.

Less if he slams the door in your face.

Otis.

What's an Otis?

That's my name.

Otis.

The man who is being very patient.

Otis is waiting, Mads.

Don't go in, Madison.

Madison is moving to Wichita.

What is it, dad?

Is that your dad staring at me?

Now or never, Baker.

Make a choice.

Maybe it's someone who saw the listing.

What's that smell?

Probably Nina.

Here.

That's Bernice.

Say hello to Bernice, Blaire.

Does it live in here?

Of course not.

She just sleeps better when I'm driving.

Does it poop in here?

Maybe that's the smell?

Only if chicken poop smells
like body odor and whiskey.

How do you know what body odor
and whiskey smells like?

My parents-

Own a bar.

Own a bar.

Hey, man.

I was just about to head your way.

Yeah, for sure.

I got four fresh ones for you.

They're in good condition.

One's a little messed up.

But they'll be tasty,

that is for sure.

Was this a highly rated
kidnapping service, Blaire?

Did he say tasty?

I've got a plan.

Nina, wake up.

Stop the truck.

My friend has to puke.

I'll call you back.

Come on, Nina.

Go.

I can't run anymore.

Have an adventure, Mads.

This isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Do you guys realize
the danger I was just in?

We were there too.

But I'm the prettiest.

I was clearly in the most danger.

This is exactly why there are
rules and curfews and parents.

I'll get us another guy.

No more rides.

So we walk to Ryan's house.

Are we in Slovakia?

It says that we can follow the bike trail
straight through to his neighborhood.

Which would take us forever
and we'd still have to get home.

Well, your home is in Wichita.

Madison is going to Wichita.

Shouldn't we at least get Nina home?

Don't turn back now.

Make your dreams come true.

Do it for your heart.

Do it for us.

Do it for the views.

Hey, guys.

Where's Blaire?

Look for yourself.

Look.

I know it's late.

I know you're weary.

That's Bob Seger.

Yes, but it's also exceptionally relevant.

You're having the night of your life.

Nina's having a great time.

whoopsie-daisy.

Nina.

I so totally got that.

I think that helped.

Cassie, look at this.

That's so gross.

I feel like I just gave birth
out of my mouth.

So gross.

Don't freak out.

He's going to kill us.

Real low-key, Blaire.

A little late to be out for a stroll.

Innit

We were just heading back.

Madison has a crush.

Madison.

We'll be right there, dad.

I thought your dad was at work.

Pretty little girls

all alone,

out at night.

She's the prettiest.

No, I'm not.

And she's going to tell her love
that she crushes him.

We should make them
be our friends, huh?

He can't hurt us if we all stick together.

Blaire ran?

Yup.

No.

Bye.

Do you have permission to use that?

Madison knows.

Well, I need to talk to you both.

Can you have her come downstairs?

She's in the shower.

I don't hear the water.

She's getting in the shower.

All right.

Well, when she's done.

Okay?

Sure thing, dad.

Well, it felt like I had to do something.

Tagging the wall with your name
is definitely something, Banksy.

It looks like from the pond,
we follow Scottsdale to Woodridge,

and then Ryan's house
is just up the hill from there.

That'll take us at least another hour.

What was that?

Maybe an exotic bird.

You're going to take off running?

It was a fight or flight instinct.

I saved your life.

You abandoned us.

Like you're such a team player.

What happened to "I've got pepper spray"?

Where were you on that, Quick Draw?

What does drawing have to do with this?

We should have left her in the truck.

Nina can't walk the entire way.

She can have a seat over here.

We'll pick her up on the way back.

There's a fire in my stomach.

Let her rest for a minute.

Me too.

These two are like speed bumps.

Why are you in such a hurry anyway?

Yeah, sneaking out was your plan.

I just think you shouldn't have to wait
to tell someone how much they mean to you.

So what is it you like about Ryan Bright?

Is it his eyes?

No.

I mean, sure.

But it's something else.

It's hard to explain.

Oh, you mean like how his smile
is more of a smolder-

Not that either.

It's like...

Have you ever felt you knew someone
when you really didn't?

Like somewhere, someplace...

You've met.

An inexplicable connection

that doesn't really make any sense.

It just seems so real.

Are you going to make us
read tarot cards now?

Well, what do you think
you're going to say to him?

Practice with us.

Hi, Ryan.

I'm tired.

Scared.

Sad that I'm leaving in the morning.

Just stopping by
in the middle of the night

to let you know that I like you.

Is that Shakespeare?

Jane Austen.

Is she a sophomore?

I have to throw up.

Need my sweater?

There's a trash can over there.

Come on, Nina.

I guess it's finally just us.

Truth or death?

Do you think you'll really tell him?

I mean,

when it comes down to it,

that moment...

Because you can say it
over and over again in your head,

rehearse the perfect sequence of words.

But when the moment is actually there...

will you do it?

I'll sound stupid, no matter what I say.

Yeah, probably.

But you might never see him again.

So will you tell him?

Even though you'll sound stupid?

What is it, Cass?

Remember when you taught me
how to make pancakes?

On your birthday, sure.

We missed school that day,
because you weren't at the bus stop.

I walked to your house.

I didn't want to go to school.

Your parents weren't home.

The day before, I was at the park.

Me and some other kids were going down
that old metal slide on wax paper.

It was filthy,

covered in sand and dirt.

I'm pretty sure
I did permanent damage to my tailbone.

It was one of those times that you just

feel like a kid.

No worries or cares.

When I got home,

my mom was on the couch.

I said hi,

but she didn't respond.

She wasn't dead.

She wasn't asleep.

Just wasn't really there at all.

I don't understand.

Neither did I,

until I saw a bottle of painkillers
spilled over on the coffee table.

I didn't know how many she'd taken.

Hell, I didn't know anything
about them at all.

What did you do?

I said,
"Wow, Mom,

your new
meditation pose is working great."

She just...

She made this sound.

It was...

I have never been more terrified.

I'm the one who had to call 911.

Were they fighting again?

There's still so much about it
that I don't know.

But she's alive now, so...

Right.

An ambulance came to my house
and wheeled her out.

My dad followed,
and he would not let me come with him.

You were pretty young then.

I was 11.

I was old enough to know
if my mother was dying.

Of course.

No one called.

I just sat and waited to find out
if my whole world had fallen apart.

That's...

That's-

It's bullshit.

My dad dropped off
a box of donuts in the morning.

"Happy birthday, Cassie.

Your mom could be dying right now,

and I just didn't have
the time to tell you.

Enjoy a glazed twist."

Why didn't you tell me when I got there?

I was scared,

angry,

so tired.

So we made pancakes.

I just thought you were getting the flu.

You saved me from my crazy.

What about your mom?

She was gone for a week.

My dad told me
she was at the doctor's getting better.

Turns out she was admitted
to a psychiatric hospital for observation.

But she's okay now, so-

but I'm not.

How can you be okay

when you find out
your mom tried to kill herself,

tried to abandon her family?

Your mom didn't have a choice.

Mine did.

I think one of the scariest things
we learn growing up

is that parents are just regular people.

They're trying to figure out life
just as much as we are.

Carrying that around with you
probably isn't helping.

It reminds me that people can leave.

They do leave.

Cass.

Sorry.

Look, I'm only telling you this now,
because...

Because you're my best friend.

And you were there for me.

And I wanted you to know that,

before-

Then, hold on to that.

Not this.

Letting go isn't exactly my strong suit.

No matter the distance between us,
I'll always be there for you.

And someday, someone will need you
to make them pancakes.

And that's why you don't
drink and run, kids.

I'm Blaire Beckett.

And if you like this video,

then subscribe to my channel

and catch the next episode
of Where's Blaire,

where Madison Baker
reveals a secret crush.

There's nothing left, just...

Nina, come on.

Get up.

So gross.

You're my best friend.

Where are your glasses?

Do I wear glasses?

Yes, Nina.

When did you last have them?

You're shouting.

Oh my God.

Oh my gosh.

Ladies?

We have a problem.

Guys, she lost her glasses.

They must have fallen off in the truck.

I don't know, but...

Great.

Now she's drunk and blind.

Can you see enough to walk?

Everything is dark.

Well, how is she going to explain
losing her glasses?

When did I eat Twizzlers?

I think she's going to have to explain
a little bit more than losing her glasses.

Which means we all get caught.

Well, I won't get caught.

You literally have evidence on your phone.

Yeah, but think of the views.

Will you ever think of anybody
but yourself?

You smell like vomit.

You look like vomit.

Is that...

It can't be.

That's the same truck.

Well, every wine-swigging soccer mom
in town has that truck.

It's him.

Cassie, what is your problem?

Oh my gosh, Cassie,
get out of the street.

Oh my gosh, Cass.

What is your problem?

You have my friend's glasses.

Maybe she dropped them
when you all jumped out.

I have your license plate number.

Give us the glasses or we turn you in.

Turn me in for what?

We heard you, perv.

Four fresh ones?

They'll be tasty?

They will be tasty.

Bernice lays the best eggs.

I give them away to all my friends.

That..

That makes sense.

Get away from her, creep.

No, Blaire.

It's not like that.

You said you heard him.

I know what I heard,
I know what you heard.

Everything's fine.

Good night, dad.

Where's Madison?

Wisconsin.

I really need to talk to you both.

She's not feeling well.

Well, she might feel better after we talk.

No.

You see,

Madison has lady problems.

Oh.

All right, well...

All right.

First thing in the morning then.

First thing.

Okay,
good night.

Why are you sitting there?

If Madison needs anything,
I'm here for her.

I need to apologize.

It's okay.

It's just a misunderstanding.

See?

All is forgiven.

Thank you for welcoming us back.

I'm tolerating you back.

Seriously, though.

Did something die in here?

Not yet.

An air freshener would do wonders.

Same address as before, Otis.

Whatever you say.

What light through yonder window breaks.

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.

How much of that vodka did you drink?

What are you going to say to Ryan?

I don't know.

"Hi.

Did I wake you?

Sorry I knocked on your door at midnight."

There's a start.

Say nothing.

Just kiss him.

That's a little forward.

For us all.

Well, actions speak louder than words.

What if his parents open the door?

What if they won't let me talk to him?

Or worse,

what if he doesn't want to talk to me?

He'd be an idiot not to talk to you.

Here's what you do.

Knock on the door.

You apologize for the late visit.

Introduce yourself.

Explain that you're leaving town
in the morning,

and that you didn't want...

What?

What is it?

What was that?

There was an alligator on me.

It wasn't an alligator.

Was it a baby alligator?

Sounds like you met Gus.

Gus?

Gus.

He's my bearded dragon.

Gus is gross.

Gus is great.

He eats crickets.

You have crickets in here, too?

No, of course not.

At least I don't think so.

Probably not.

Relax, Blaire.

The crickets eat the beetles.

I can't do this.

Something is definitely crawling on me.

I have to get out.

We're almost there, calm down.

Oh, calm down?

Are creatures hunting
for other creatures on your body?

Okay, Blaire, would you like me
to film this for you?

Stop the truck.

Get out, Cass.

That's that.

Off we go.

We can't just leave her here.

She'll be fine.

Otis, I'm so sorry.

We're close enough,
we can walk from here.

Good Lord.

You shouldn't be walking around
this late at night.

Do you want me to stay close?

No, I don't want to waste
any more of your time.

How much do we owe you?

Owe me?

Owe me for what?

For the ride.

Rides.

All of it.

Why would I charge you for a ride?

Uber?

Lyft?

Isn't this your job?

I am not an Uber driver.

I own a pet store.

I specialize in exotic birds.

Oh.

I just like driving around at night.

Helps Bernice get her beauty sleep.

But...

I was only at the school

because I like to drop off
a fresh basket of eggs

to Miss Kyle.

Well, then, thanks for your help,
and sorry about the whole thing.

Hey, kid.

Look, I don't know
what I'm going to say to him, okay?

I'm nervous,
but excited.

Have you ever been
on a roller coaster for the first time

and you're climbing slowly

and you know the drop off is coming soon
and you'll be racing around

out of control, not knowing what's next,

not knowing whether
it'll be the best time of your life

or if you're going
to heave a kidney, okay?

I was just going to remind you
to get your friend

and her glasses this time.

I've always loved this view.

Where's the bathroom?

Here, just take her over there
to the bushes.

Well, I'm still processing
the trauma of that Zuber ride.

I'll do it.

No, no, I got it.

Can't risk having Nina's bodily fluids
all over you.

That's disgusting.

Shut up, Blaire.

She's such a bitch.

I heard that.

She's a good person.

Well, after you're gone,
I won't have to deal with her at all.

You're both very different people.

But you're both really good friends to me.

I'm going to miss you, Blaire.

I'll miss you too.

You'll still watch
my YouTube channel, right?

Blaire.

What?

Truth or death?

I hate bearded dragons.

Anything else?

Well...

Sometimes I think I'm not the prettiest.

Very humble.

I only have five followers.

We know.

One of them is my grandma.

Yup.

And one of them is a fake account I made
just to like my own videos.

We know that, too.

Well...

Then why doesn't Cassie ever bring it up?

She's angry, but she's not angry at you.

Well, thanks for always liking my videos.

That's what friends do.

But you don't have to post stuff
just to be liked.

I know, but it's how I fit in.

Those who fit in don't really stand out.

Oh, my gosh, Madison.

That was incredibly lame.

I know.

I heard it the moment it left my mouth.

Was that your TED Talk?

Thanks, Mom.

I learned something today.

Okay, that's enough.

But you get the point.

You're a good friend, too.

Well, that was the highlight
of my evening.

Thanks for taking care of her.

Shut up, Blaire.

Come on, Nina.

Not much longer.

Hey, guys, guess what Madison
actually said to me.

Let it go, Blaire.

Take him and cut him out in little stars

and he will make
the face of heaven so fine.

That all the world
will be in love with the night

and pay no worship to the garish sun.

Bravo, Baker.

You would've made a perfect Juliet.

It's up here on the right.

Three 27.

Truth or death, Mads.

This is thy sheath.

There rust and let me die.

So death then?

I got the part.

Juliet?

Congratulations.

No, Joslyn got it.

Mrs. Curtis gave it to me first.

Right after Dad told me we were moving.

I couldn't accept.

So it went to Joslyn.

And she gloats about it?

She doesn't know.

Well, then, why wouldn't you tell her?

Come on.

Now's your chance to be Juliet.

I feel terrible.

This isn't stalkerish at all.

What if his parents call the police?

You better knock before someone else
calls the police.

Hey, guys, on this episode
of Where's Blaire,

we are at...

Sometime before you board the plane
would be great.

Do it again.

Nothing's happening.

Uh-oh.

What?

Well,

here's a picture

of Ryan and his family

in Colorado.

Posted two hours ago.

So you're saying he's not even here?

His grandma turned 65.

Look.

Jeez.

Maybe they're heavy sleepers.

Could be watching a movie?

He's not here.

They're on vacation.

Maybe they just take a while
to open the-

I'm sorry, Mads.

It's over.

How could it be over?

I blame Blaire.

This is your fault.

Little bit of that, too.

"Let's sneak out,
profess your love."

Technically, Blaire said that.

Did you guys know
that Ryan likes to snowboard?

You were on your phone all night,

and you never noticed he wasn't even home?

Well, I don't actually follow him.

Well, he doesn't follow me.

Besides, you're the one
with the connection.

Why didn't you know he was gone?

This was a bad plan, executed poorly,

And now it's the middle of the night,
and we're all the way across town with...

With that.

Why do I listen to either of you?

I shouldn't have dragged you along.

I chose this.

Peer pressure, Nina.

I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

Research?

Something like that.

Why do you work so hard
to analyze everyone?

Aren't we all crazy?

I think all people can be classified
as something according to the DSM.

I just try to understand
why people do what they do.

And?

Inconclusive.

Then what's the point of understanding?

Nina,

did someone do something to you?

Do you want to talk about it?

Have you told anyone?

Promise me that you will
when you're ready.

Come on.

We've got a long walk home.

This isn't how love stories
are supposed to end.

It was worse for Juliet.

This is why you should always call first.

That's it.

I'm not calling him now.

But you can send him a video.

Blaire's right.

You should do it.

Hi, Ry...

Hi, Ry...

Hi, Ryan.

My name is Madison.

We go to school together.

I mean, not together together,
but together.

We go to the same school.

The thing is,

I've had a crush on you

for a while.

But we practically
live in different worlds,

so why would I have a crush on you?

I don't know you.

Not really.

I mean,

I know that you're smart
and that you like to play sports.

And well,

that you like to snowboard.

Or so I've heard.

And you don't know me.

But we can't really get to know each other
because...

Because I'm leaving in a few hours.

I'm moving away.

So I guess this is more
of a goodbye message than anything.

I guess I just wanted you
to know how I felt,

to know that someone
felt that way about you.

It would have been nice
to get to know the real you,

but that's not the world we live in, so...

come find me in a different life.

A glooming peace
this morning with it brings.

The sun, for sorrow,
will not show his head.

Go hence, to have more talk
of these sad things.

Some shall be pardoned
and some shall be punished.

But never was a story of more woe
than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Bye.

Oh no, no, no.

No, no, no, shit.

Still not my fault.

The toilet clogs all the time
because Paige flushes all the wipes.

At least you can finally have
separate [inaudible 01:03:14].

Oh, you can get a custom vanity like mine.

No one embraces vanity
quite like you, Blaire.

Well, thank you.

I can't go on.

Oh come on.

Nina, we're almost home.

No, my head is pounding.

A break wouldn't hurt.

Well, if I stop,
I'll pass out.

Sun's coming up soon.

Let's watch the stars
for a little while.

Well, some of us
still have to go to school today.

I think Nina might have
to take her first absence.

Truth or death?

I'll start.

I think Nina is the prettiest.

She's gorgeous.

Even when she's hiding
behind all those books.

Nina, truth or death?

I don't really need my glasses.

But-

They're not prescription.

I can see just fine.

You mean I just-

She mean she hides her beauty.

Cassie, truth or death?

Anything you'd like to tell your friends?

I'll pass.

Well, then you have to die.

So, sitting here with you?

This is hell?

Fine then.

Mads, your turn.

Truth or death?

I think after tonight,

I'm okay with moving.

Because you can sleep on the plane?

Because I won't have to deal
with the consequences.

I don't know about that one.

The universe has a funny way
of catching up to us.

Speaking of catching up,
we should probably go.

Just a bit longer.

As long as we're home by six,
we're fine.

This moment won't last forever.

Hello?

Where are you guys?

It's 6:30.

Paige.

Oh, my God.
We fell asleep at the park.

Are we busted?

Not yet, but my dad-

What's going on in there?

We're getting ready, Dad.

At the same time?

Of course, we're sisters
and we love each other.

I can't keep stalling him.

He wants to talk to Madison.

Get here now.

Nina, get up.

Madison, Paige called.

It's 6:30, we have to go.

What?

Cassie.

Towards Bidwell.

We have to move.

We have to run.

I have to pee.

Hey.

You have to move too.

Maybe you should come out and talk with me
before you're finished getting ready.

Putting on eyeliner.

You don't interrupt eyeliner.

Hey, Madison,
how are you feeling this morning?

I feel great, Dad.

Brushing? I thought you were eyelinering.

Multitasking.

We'll be out soon.

Love you, Dad.

Oh, for God's sake.

Oh, hell no.

Please take us back to my house.

Take me to a hospital.

She's fine.

Or more.

Goodness.

Have you been out all night?

Long story.

Can you take us back right now, please?

I have to open my store in 10-

Oh, come on, come on.

Please, please?

Please, Otis, this is really important.

Seven in the morning
and I'm out driving Miss Crazy.

Gates' diagnosis.

Blaire Beckett suffers from herpetophobia.

I'm not afraid of pets.

At least we didn't die.

I could die if I don't sneak past my dad.

Teddy bear Walt?

I'm sure you'll be fine.

You've never seen grizzly bear Walt.

At least there's someone to care
if you were gone.

You know,

comparison is the thief of joy.

Otis, there's a homeless man
in the back of your truck.

Hey, I'm not homeless.

I pay rent here.

Morning, Cliff.

Aren't you going to open up the pet store?

These girls need a ride home.

They've been in and out all night.

Oh, that explains a lot.

So which one of you is the screamer?

I think we found the smell.

Do you have schizophrenia?

No.

Manic depressive tendencies?

I don't think so.

What do you have?

Really bad credit.

Have you been drinking?

Is this the street?

Yes, pull over here.

Thank you, Otis.

I appreciate everything.

Good luck, kid.

Hey, Otis.

Do any exotic birds sound like this?

No, not healthy ones.

Hair of the dog?

Certainly an experience
I won't forget.

I'm proud of you, Mads.

Your courage was legendary.

So brave.

Why so brave?

She told Ryan Bright
she had a crush on him.

That is brave.

He doesn't even know you're alive.

You said he liked me.

Ryan Bright?

Ryan Bright.

You two have Chemistry together?

Uh-oh.

I thought you meant Brian White.

What?

Oh, my God. Brian White?

He's a tragedy.

Why would I like Brian White?

I don't know,
I thought it was strange, too.

You never know.

Maybe you could have chemistry

with Brian White.

Leaving town
sounds like a fantastic idea.

Still, mission accomplished.

Bravo, Baker.

You really are the best friends
in the world.

Duh.

Obviously.

Not now, Blaire.

Group shot.

I'm really going to miss you, Madison.

Oh, come on.
Let's not get Marwen.

I hate sappy endings.

Well, safe travels, Mads.

Blaire, there's...

Just let it go.

I'm just going to lay down right here.

Okay.

I'll take her home.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Bravo, Gordon.

Late night?

Does your daddy know
that you're just getting home?

It's really none of your business.

I just made it my business.

You should start minding
your own business.

You're lucky you don't live here anymore.

Mom.

Dad, there you are.

Paige said I could find you out here.

Yeah, I'd hoped to have a talk
with both of you.

I know, adapting to a new environment
can be challenging.

We're a family.

No, no, nothing like that, really.

What's up, Dad?

Girls, the job, it fell through.

We're not moving.

That's...

It's okay,
you can be happy.

I know you're not thrilled about leaving.

I was just starting to look forward to it.

Well, we can talk later.

I think we can
still get you to school on time.

School?

Let's go.

If you need to text anyone,
I might let you use my phone.

Hey.

Need some help?

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

You can't hear how bad you are.

All right, cool.

Second shift.