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1
00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:11,730
[airplane droning]
2
00:01:11,770 --> 00:01:14,870
[man gasping]
Aah! No! No!
3
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,810
- Thirty seconds.
- No! No! I'm not doing this!
4
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:22,110
Perry! Just breathe with me.
Just relax and breathe in...
5
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,610
- Ah!
- Out.
6
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:27,150
- Aah!
- Good. Good.
7
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,150
- You're doing great.
- [gasping]
8
00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:31,520
- Slow in...
- [inhales deeply]
9
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,560
- And out. So good.
- [breathing hard]
10
00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:37,260
- Okay. Safe and sound.
- Ah! [whimpering]
11
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,190
Fifteen seconds.
12
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:40,830
- No! I can't do this! I won't!
- Relax and breathe!
13
00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:43,900
I'm not relaxing.
And I'm not jumping!
14
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:45,770
- You promised me.
- On the ground!
15
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,570
I promised you on the ground!
16
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,310
- You promised me in the bed.
- Which is on the ground!
17
00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:53,310
- Trust me!
- Ah!
18
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:54,380
You're gonna love it!
19
00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:55,510
It's now or never!
20
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:56,850
It's never! [gasping]
21
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,310
It's now!
22
00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:04,290
[Perry screaming]
23
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,350
- [Jessie] I'm coming!
- [Perry screaming]
24
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,660
I'm getting closer!
25
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,890
Perry! Perry, I'm coming!
26
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:14,230
[Perry screaming]
27
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,900
- [Jessie] I've got you!
- [Perry continues screaming]
28
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:18,670
- [slaps]
- Relax!
29
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,770
Relax?! Ten miles
up in the air. Are you crazy?
30
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,640
- But I know...
- But nothing!
31
00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:26,470
You're insane and
I'm insane for being with you!
32
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:28,480
- Okay. What are you saying?
- I'm saying,
33
00:02:28,510 --> 00:02:30,510
that if by some miracle
I'm not a pancake
34
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,580
in the next thirty seconds,
we're done!
35
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,250
Wait, are you
breaking up with me?
36
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,850
[Perry]
Yes, you freakin' maniac!
37
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,750
[Jessie]
Fine! Pull your ripcord, then.
38
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,360
- With pleasure!
- [Jessie scoffs]
39
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,160
- Goodbye!
- [tears]
40
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,760
[screams]
Help me, Jessie! Help me!
41
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,460
[Jessie]
I got you, let me flip it.
42
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:54,500
- All right, hold on!
- [Perry screams]
43
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,570
[gentle orchestral music
playing]
44
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,450
I love you, forever.
45
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:05,850
This is my perfect moment.
46
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,520
My man, my love.
47
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:11,250
- [Perry] My ass!
- [Jessie] I just saved you
48
00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:12,960
and you're still
breaking up with me,
49
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:14,760
it is not a good time.
50
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,760
[Perry]
Who cares, you psycho!
51
00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:18,730
This was supposed to be
an adventure!
52
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,800
Just get me to the ground
as fast as possible
53
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:22,460
so I can be done with you!
54
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,830
- Really?
- Really!
55
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,570
Okay.
56
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,900
Ah! You crazy bitch!
57
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:31,340
[crowd gasps]
58
00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:33,710
Ah!
59
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,450
Ugh!
60
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,410
[Jessie screaming]
Look out!
61
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:41,680
I'm so sorry! Watch out!
[screams]
62
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:42,920
- Oh, crap!
- [crowd gasps]
63
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:45,620
[wedding party screams, yells]
64
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:53,630
Oh!
65
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:56,430
Everybody good?
66
00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,830
I'm so sorry!
I know how you must feel.
67
00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:00,540
I work on weddings sometimes.
68
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,600
Get out of here!
69
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,440
[Jessie]
It's a beautiful wedding.
70
00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:07,940
I would love to
get that dress cleaned for you!
71
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,280
- [crowd murmurs angrily]
- [man] Get outta here!
72
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,420
You've ruined my wedding!
73
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:19,290
[woman]
For God's sake, who are you?
74
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,830
Take this and go! Go!
75
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,400
Get outta here!
76
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:29,300
♪ There goes the bride ♪
77
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:32,370
♪ Dressed in muddy white ♪
78
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,370
[man]
Wedding trasher!
79
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,840
[notification sounds]
80
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:38,340
[man #2]
Get out of here!
81
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:39,740
[woman]
Wedding trasher!
82
00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:40,710
[bride, echoing]
You ruined this for me!
83
00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:47,680
[acoustic guitar playing]
84
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,620
♪ You think that we could be ♪
85
00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:53,920
♪ Perfect in love ♪
86
00:04:53,950 --> 00:04:58,790
♪ If you do you're utterly,
Totally, perfectly wrong ♪
87
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,730
♪ Love is perfect
Love is pure ♪
88
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,900
♪ We screw it up
That's for sure ♪
89
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:08,870
♪ Don't blame love ♪
90
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,110
♪ The blame is on us... ♪
91
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:15,880
Okay, folks. The moment
you've all been waiting for!
92
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:19,380
The historical, hysterical,
completely inaccurate
93
00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:20,580
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour!
94
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,050
Listen, it's gonna be a blast.
95
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,490
And if you don't have fun,
96
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,350
tough beans,
because you already paid,
97
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:27,020
and it's impossible
to get a refund.
98
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,120
High five! Boom! Pound it out.
99
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,060
- Boom! There you go.
- [woman] Look out.
100
00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:33,730
Wait a minute!
101
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,730
I did not know the Miss America
pageant was in town.
102
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,070
- [chuckles] You're fresh.
- Thank you for noticing.
103
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,000
The secret to that
is showering monthly,
104
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,640
exercising never,
and drinking a bunch.
105
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,440
Wow, it's working.
106
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,980
Though, you may wanna
revisit that shower schedule.
107
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:49,510
Like what,
once every two months?
108
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:50,810
That's what I was thinking.
109
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,480
Like the water
conservation thing.
110
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,950
- Yeah.
- You're nasty. I like it.
111
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,380
[laughs]
112
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,850
Glass slipper.
113
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,720
Cinderella's
my favorite character.
114
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:01,660
- Where's the other one?
- Prince Charming has it.
115
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,830
And where is he?
116
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:05,690
Hmm, that's the question,
isn't it?
117
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:09,130
Uh! Make room for Cinderella
118
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,500
and her not ugly stepsisters!
119
00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:13,170
Come on in.
120
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,040
Dressed for the cause,
I like the suit.
121
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,910
Oh, and the purple
brings out your eyes.
122
00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:19,910
[Jordan]
♪ Don't blame love ♪
123
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,140
♪ Don't blame love ♪
124
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,580
♪ Blame us. ♪
125
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,650
[crowd applauds]
126
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:35,060
[guitar music continues]
127
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,490
[strums chords]
128
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,430
[chamber music playing]
129
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:47,670
[car engine starts]
130
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:50,470
[car fades]
131
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:56,010
- [Jessie] Gah!
- Oh! Ooh!
132
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,080
Oh, God, sorry. Are you okay?
133
00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:00,020
What do you think you're doing?
134
00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:01,680
I'm so sorry, that
was totally my fault.
135
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,020
Bloody scooters!
136
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,720
Are you Lawrence Phillips?
137
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,050
Yes, I am.
138
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,120
I've had your food
at a wedding.
139
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,820
- Oh, good.
- It was incredible.
140
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,160
Yeah, I'm glad you survived.
141
00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:12,730
I want you to
cater my wedding. I...
142
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,630
No, I'm booked
years in advance.
143
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,700
Oh, no, I mean, I'm
not even engaged. It's okay.
144
00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:18,470
My last boyfriend dropped me.
145
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,100
I dropped him, actually,
into a lake.
146
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:21,700
Into a lake?
147
00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:23,970
So, I got off, relatively
lightly, this morning.
148
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,480
I am sorry. It was
really nice to meet you.
149
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:28,780
[sighs] I could say,
it was fun bumping into you,
150
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,250
but I'd be
stretching the truth.
151
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,980
Have a great day.
152
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,180
[car horn honks]
153
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:35,020
Oh, God.
154
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,750
[footsteps echoing]
155
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,860
[Jessie]
Hi. Sorry, I'm a fraction late.
156
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:46,600
I literally ran into
Lawrence Phillips,
157
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:47,730
who's just so...
158
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,030
- Uptight?
- Precise.
159
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,630
- Crabby and anal.
- A perfectionist.
160
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,870
[Liz]
An OCD pain in the ass.
161
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,600
The best in the city.
162
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:56,070
I guess, I was thinking
more like famous.
163
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,070
I'm the groom. Hi, I'm Robert.
164
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:01,110
And our next mayor.
Jessie English.
165
00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:04,140
It's an honor. I mailed
my ballot in yesterday,
166
00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,110
so, you're winning,
one to nothing.
167
00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:08,580
Well, if you've voted for me,
then I'm voting for me.
168
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:11,750
I'm Liz. I'm the bride.
And this is Lucifer.
169
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:15,220
Bev. Robert's campaign manager.
And we are on a schedule.
170
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,960
I'm Jimmy,
the not famous Barton.
171
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,260
The black sheep Barton.
172
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,600
- Nice to meet you, too.
- You, too.
173
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,730
I'm late for an important date,
so, I'm gone.
174
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,700
Thank you, again, for the
best man thing.
175
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:26,970
- It means a lot.
- Absolu...
176
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,700
- Leave.
- I won't let you down.
177
00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:32,810
- [clatters]
- Oh!
178
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,240
- Sorry about that.
- Go-go-go-go.
179
00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,040
- I got it.
- Thank you. Thank you.
180
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,010
- My brother.
- At least we know
181
00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:40,920
- you're gonna win.
- [Robert] How?
182
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:43,550
Every successful politician
has that train-wreck brother.
183
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,920
Do you have anything nice
to say about anyone?
184
00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:46,320
- Yes.
- Who?
185
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,060
- Me. I think I'm terrific.
- Right.
186
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,720
I got a call about a wedding...
187
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,690
Robert, this is the girl
who planned the wedding
188
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:53,160
- that Diane raved about.
- Oh!
189
00:08:53,190 --> 00:08:55,160
Oh, you mean,
my cousin, Tina's wedding.
190
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,200
I didn't plan, plan that.
I just did it as a favor.
191
00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:59,170
Okay, well, I saw the photos
and it was beautiful.
192
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,070
Thanks. So, I'm here
about the florist job?
193
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,670
Ah, no, you're not.
194
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,270
So, we have a florist.
We need a planner.
195
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:07,780
And the wedding
is in eight days.
196
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,210
Sorry, eight days?
197
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,210
Amazing.
[whispers] Are you pregnant?
198
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,150
No, no, we've
had this scheduled for a year.
199
00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:14,750
- We've just had some...
- Firings.
200
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,220
- Yeah, and some...
- Quittings.
201
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:18,250
- Disagreements.
- Fifth time's a charm.
202
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,120
I would be the fifth?
203
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,960
We have a few different points
of view about the wedding.
204
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:25,230
Hey, this should be simple.
You two love each other, right?
205
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,230
[both] Yes.
206
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:29,160
[laughs] So,
what's the problem?
207
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,000
What's your
favorite kind of music?
208
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,600
I love classical.
209
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:33,970
Lovely, so Mozart's
"Wedding March."
210
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,370
I'm rock and roll.
211
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,040
Queen. "Crazy Little Thing
Called Love."
212
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,370
- I want it traditional.
- Classic, elegant.
213
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:41,740
And I want it short.
Just, like, bullshit, bullshit.
214
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,340
I do. I do.
Let's just get to the party.
215
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,210
Rad. So, young, fresh, modern...
216
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,920
So, completely un-newsworthy.
217
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,720
You have to think of
press and TV.
218
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,620
No offense, but
zero percent of my friends
219
00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:55,820
read the society pages
or watch the local news.
220
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:59,130
But if your candidate
could throw a knockout party,
221
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,860
it will be Instagrammed,
texted, tweeted,
222
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,700
YouTube'ed, TikTok'ed.
223
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,670
Robert Barton is...
He's cool. He's relatable.
224
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:08,770
- Robert, what do you think?
- I think you should
225
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,770
- go with Lawrence.
- And you're not Robert.
226
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,110
Wait, Lawrence Phillips
wants to do it?
227
00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:16,010
Hey, as much as I would love
to have this job, get him.
228
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,280
- I'll bus the tables.
- I just... I don't feel like...
229
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:20,780
- What was your name again?
- Jessie English.
230
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,380
Oh, I'll be right back.
Excuse me.
231
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:24,220
Don't I recognize you
from somewhere?
232
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,990
Uh, maybe.
233
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,420
You're the Wedding Trasher,
aren't you?
234
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,160
- Yep.
- You were with that anchorman.
235
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:34,960
Yeah. I ruined that,
and somebody's wedding.
236
00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:36,660
Thank you for coming,
you're out.
237
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,100
Well, thank you.
Thanks for the time.
238
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:41,440
Now we're off to a meeting
with the lobster guild.
239
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,770
Okay. So,
can you start right now?
240
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,310
You really want her?
241
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,140
[scoffs]
We're in trouble. Okay?
242
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:48,740
I mean, Diane said she's great.
243
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,750
She's here. She has a pulse.
244
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,880
Yeah, I want her.
245
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,450
Fine. You're hired.
246
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,150
Don't worry, I won't
hold it against you.
247
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,280
- Thank you.
- Hold what?
248
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,090
- Nothing.
- Not nothing.
249
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,820
- Welcome aboard.
- You won't regret this.
250
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,420
Let's hope not.
251
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,230
- Amazing.
- I know, it's gonna be great.
252
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:06,190
So, come on, we have, like,
a thousand things to do.
253
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,330
[Jessie]
Yes, tell me everything.
254
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,230
As there will be
extensive press coverage,
255
00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:15,100
TV, print, and the Internet,
256
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,110
everyone will arrive in limos.
257
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,470
I'm an environmentalist.
I hate this limo crap.
258
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,110
[Jessie] Is that
other one yours?
259
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,350
- Yep.
- Tell him to take the day off.
260
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,710
Hey!
261
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,020
[bike bell jingles]
262
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:34,420
- Zero emissions.
- [chuckles] Very nice.
263
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,960
- Gainsborough Street, please.
- Whoa. A celebrity.
264
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,030
- Ha, ha, very funny.
- Wedding trasher.
265
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,000
- Okay. We gotta go.
- Do me a favor?
266
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,930
Just sit still and
try not to trash my cab.
267
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,400
What is he saying?
268
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,030
He thinks I'm some
kind of famous person.
269
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:47,840
It's so much easier
if I just say yes.
270
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,740
[Ritchie]
All right. So,
271
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:54,440
this how we're gonna do it
on the duck tour.
272
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,140
We're gonna do a little thing
called the quack quack.
273
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,910
Now, my command is,
"What'd it do?"
274
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:59,880
And after I say,
"What'd it do?" You say...
275
00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:00,880
Quack, quack!
276
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:02,350
There we go. High five.
277
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,950
All right. What'd it do?
278
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,320
Quack, quack.
279
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,820
Just Cinderella... What'd it do?
280
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:09,090
- Quack, quack.
- Ooh, nice.
281
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,330
[laughter and applause]
282
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,900
The very first lighthouse
was built in 1717,
283
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:17,360
in the Boston Harbor,
284
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,030
making it the oldest erection
in the nation.
285
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,400
That is, if you
don't count Larry King.
286
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,940
[laughs]
287
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:26,010
Boom! Nailed it!
288
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,980
[classical music playing]
289
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:40,090
Hmm.
290
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,090
- Randall?
- Yes, sir?
291
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,130
Measure.
292
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:55,070
Eleven and a half.
293
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,840
- Who?
- Juan.
294
00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:58,010
Juan?
295
00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:01,810
Yes, sir?
296
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,840
Eleven and a half.
297
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,410
- No. I...
- Yes.
298
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,050
And it's not as if
you've slightly missed
299
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,350
by a 32nd or even a 16th,
300
00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:09,020
but a full half inch.
301
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:10,550
I could see it
the moment I came in.
302
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,060
The entire room
was out of balance.
303
00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:16,920
You're off crystal.
304
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,260
Re-measure all his tables
and put him on salads.
305
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:22,230
Half an inch, God!
306
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,100
[Steve]
Lawrence!
307
00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:26,570
What are you two doing here?
308
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,100
- Saying hi.
- This is gorgeous.
309
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:30,540
Yes, well,
gorgeous is what we do,
310
00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:32,010
but I'm right in the middle...
311
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,170
Of an unhappy life?
312
00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,510
We were in the neighborhood
313
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:36,240
and wanted to
say hi to the genius.
314
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,250
Well, yes, hi and goodbye.
315
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,220
You don't have a moment
for your best friends?
316
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,280
Not right now.
317
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,580
Looks pretty good.
318
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:43,990
"Pretty good"
could get you fired.
319
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:45,390
Oh, well, I meant...
320
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,520
I frankly don't care
what you meant.
321
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:50,420
The centerpiece table
is the signature creation
322
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:52,090
of every
Lawrence Phillips event.
323
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:55,860
And "pretty good"
is not in our lexicon.
324
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:59,070
We start at perfect
and we ascend from there.
325
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:01,100
Gonna run one thing by you,
and we're gone.
326
00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:02,900
You haven't had a date
since Beth died.
327
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:04,370
- Five years ago.
- You're miserable.
328
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,170
- And lonely.
- Yes. Thank you,
329
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:09,140
Dr. and Mrs. Phil,
but in six hours' time,
330
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,580
I have 500 people
descending on...
331
00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:12,450
- We fixed a lunch for you.
- What?
332
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,550
A blind date.
333
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,920
Steve, this is not
the right moment.
334
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,920
It's never the right
moment with you.
335
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:21,290
So, we thought we'd surprise
you with a dating intervention.
336
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,620
- Ugh!
- She's age appropriate,
337
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:24,430
- charming and beautiful.
- Oh, stop it.
338
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,990
This is not funny.
339
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,160
I would never dream
of going on a blind date.
340
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,330
I hate surprises of any kind.
341
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,930
- [inhales] That's too bad.
- [Lawrence] Why?
342
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,300
Because your blind date
is right now.
343
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,340
- Sara!
- No. No, no.
344
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:39,370
Okay.
345
00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:43,380
[Steve chuckles]
Adios.
346
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,310
- No, look... I can't!
- [Steve] Good luck!
347
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:48,950
- [screams] Ah! Ah!
- [dog whimpers]
348
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:52,090
Oh! Oh, dear. I...
349
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,920
- Are you completely...
- Blind? Yes.
350
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,660
Yes, oh, dear. Completely.
351
00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:01,300
I just, I don't know.
I mean, I came here
352
00:15:01,330 --> 00:15:03,200
to meet a Lawrence,
but instead I...
353
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:05,600
- Yes, I'm Lawrence.
- Oh.
354
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:07,470
Oh, my dear own God. So...
355
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:11,510
You're my date. I'm Sara.
356
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,710
Lawrence Phillips.
357
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,640
Did they not tell you about me?
358
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,550
They mentioned a blind date.
359
00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:20,080
Well, I think
the politically correct term
360
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:22,550
is "visually impaired" date.
361
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,250
- Sorry.
- So, is lunch still on?
362
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:28,190
I do apologize, but I'm under
savage pressure here today.
363
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,120
- But I promise, we will...
- Oh, yeah.
364
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,630
...lunch in the future
under slightly less...
365
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:34,290
hectic circumstances.
366
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,700
- Now, if I may escort you out?
- [dog barks]
367
00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:38,330
- Oh, yeah, okay.
- Ah!
368
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,670
Be careful now.
Easy, Teddy, easy.
369
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,470
That-a boy.
370
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,440
He can't be any worse
at aiming me than you are.
371
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:46,740
Hah!
372
00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,640
Your laugh has
something about it.
373
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,280
It sounds rusty.
374
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,710
How do you mean?
375
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,510
It sounds like
you don't do it enough.
376
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:55,280
- [Lawrence] Ah, well...
- Is that it?
377
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,620
- [claps]
- [Sara] Oh, we're fine.
378
00:15:57,650 --> 00:16:01,020
Oh, thank you, so much.
Thank you.
379
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,760
[Lawrence]
There's a taxi for you.
380
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,120
[Sara]
No, really, I'm fine.
381
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,090
- No. I insist.
- Seriously.
382
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,730
It's no problem at all.
383
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,400
Well, I apologize. It's just,
you catch me at a busy time.
384
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,570
Are you handsome?
385
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,140
No, I'm ancient.
386
00:16:16,170 --> 00:16:17,470
[laughs]
387
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,140
What time are you done tonight?
388
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,140
Oh, very late. About eleven.
389
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:24,410
Oh, that's not late.
That's early, here.
390
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,450
We could have a drink,
or something.
391
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,620
It's in Braille.
392
00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:31,350
It's on the other side here.
No, that side. Yes.
393
00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,690
I will call you.
394
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,000
I will answer.
395
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:43,060
Did you just wave?
396
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,700
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.
397
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:46,200
I did.
398
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,270
[laughs]
Oh, that's good.
399
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,240
[laughing]
Oh, my goodness, Teddy.
400
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,780
[cheering and applause]
401
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:57,610
[game show music playing]
402
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:01,750
[Eddie]
Calm down! Calm down!
403
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:04,280
All right, take it easy!
404
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,820
Let's just try to
get through this.
405
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:09,620
I'm Eddie Stone, and
you've accidentally tuned in
406
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:12,660
to Crash Couples,
a so called game show
407
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:15,300
based on love,
relationships, dating,
408
00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,830
and a whole bunch of other crap
that nobody cares about.
409
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:19,500
- [drum sting]
- [audience laughs]
410
00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:21,330
We have whittled down
a thousand contestants
411
00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:23,800
to these nervous twits
who are standing here
412
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,270
wetting themselves.
413
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,240
- [drum sting]
- [audience laughs]
414
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:30,210
Tonight, we'll find out who
will make up the four couples
415
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,780
who will compete
for one million dollars!
416
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:36,220
[cheering and applause]
417
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:40,120
The other twelve losers will...
418
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,660
[chanting]
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
419
00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,830
Can I have Nick Matthews?
420
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:47,790
- Yeah! Oh, yeah!
- [drum roll]
421
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:50,800
Nick, nobody wants to see
an old guy on TV.
422
00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:52,830
Me, yes. You, no.
423
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:55,570
I don't even know how
you got this far. You're out.
424
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,370
[audience chanting]
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
425
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,770
Let's speed this up.
426
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:03,240
Taylor, Molly,
Howard, Kenny, Elana...
427
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,210
- [drum roll]
- You are out!
428
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,510
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
429
00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:08,720
You know the old saying,
opposites attract?
430
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:12,320
BS. I think opposites
actually hate each other.
431
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,790
Let's find out.
Where is Sharon?
432
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:17,160
- Ah! [giggles]
- Oh! Whoa!
433
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:19,530
[chuckles] Does
that say Sharon or Shaq?
434
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,530
- Sharon.
- [laughs] All right, fine.
435
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,500
Sharon, your opposite is Verne.
436
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,730
- Yeah, Verne! Where's Verne?
- [audience cheers]
437
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:28,470
Where... Ha!
438
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,670
Oh-ho, Jack and the Beanstalk.
439
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:31,870
[audience laughs]
440
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,180
And we have Gianna and Donald.
441
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:35,640
Where are you? Oh.
442
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,350
- [drum roll]
- Gianna and...
443
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,450
Hoh, he's got
the right to bare arms.
444
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,550
[laughs] Very nice.
Good luck to the two of you.
445
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,220
All right, next,
Habib and David.
446
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,860
[drum roll]
447
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:50,690
How the heck did we
end up with two guys?
448
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,390
Who's in charge of this show?
449
00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:53,830
- You are.
- I... What?
450
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,300
[laughs]
I... All right.
451
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:56,560
Screw it.
You guys are together.
452
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,200
See how this works out.
453
00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,370
- [drum roll]
- And our last couple
454
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,800
Svetlana, 28 years old,
Russian and an attorney
455
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,710
and a hottie.
456
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:08,440
- Am I allowed to say, hottie?
- No.
457
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,240
You're a hottie.
458
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,350
Whoever gets her is the
luckiest guy on the planet.
459
00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:14,450
Dream on, loser.
I got this one.
460
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,550
- Your mate is named...
- Jimmy Barton!
461
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,220
- [Eddie] Here he is!
- Ha-ha!
462
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,920
- Jimmy Barton.
- [audience cheers]
463
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,260
People often say that
they're attached to each other.
464
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,860
So, we at Crash Couples
thought,
465
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:29,530
what would happen if
they were actually attached?
466
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,930
- Come on!
- [cheering and applause]
467
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:35,200
Lock 'em up! Then,
you'll stay together until
468
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,370
you can't take it anymore,
for whatever crazy reason.
469
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:41,210
And when you finally decide
to break the link...
470
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,780
[alarm blares]
471
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:45,780
[chanting]
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
472
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,980
- [alarm stops]
- So, Shaq, what do you think?
473
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,580
I'm game.
474
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,290
And you, shorty,
how can I help you out?
475
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,460
Take it easy, Eddie,
I got this Amazon.
476
00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:56,490
Oh, he's got this Amazon.
477
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,230
Bring me a stepladder
and some bungee cords.
478
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:01,260
- [laughs]
- [Eddie] There you have it,
479
00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:03,970
the four couples who
will compete for $1 million.
480
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,570
[cheering and applause]
481
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,400
Actually, you know what?
482
00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:09,540
Why don't we stop here
and get a coffee real quick?
483
00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:10,770
- Sure.
- Yeah.
484
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,610
Oh look,
she didn't trash my cab.
485
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,710
Shut it! Uh, so,
486
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:17,250
I'll need a contact
for the florist and the band.
487
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,310
Yes. Florist, yes.
We don't have a band yet,
488
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:21,880
- but we have to talk about it.
- Jessie. Oh, my God!
489
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,420
Wow! Hi. This is
my cousin, Tina, who we...
490
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,420
- [Liz] Oh!
- And, and this is Liz.
491
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,630
Wait, hi. I just saw the photos
from your wedding
492
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,930
and it was, like, amazing.
493
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,590
Yeah. Well,
that's thanks to Jessie.
494
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,530
Oh, I just helped out, really.
495
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,900
Bull. She did the whole thing.
496
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:38,700
Yeah. That's what I heard.
497
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:40,500
- And now she's planning mine.
- That's great!
498
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,800
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
499
00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:43,540
- Come sit with us.
- No, we kind of
500
00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:45,510
- have a scheduled fitting...
- No, we're cool.
501
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:46,940
Yeah, we're good.
502
00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:48,540
- What was your name?
- It's Meg.
503
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:50,540
Meg, okay. Liz.
Nice to meet you, too.
504
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:52,850
Hey, guys, you
want some drinks?
505
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,810
A Margarita Patrón,
salt, rocks.
506
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:57,020
Okay. I'm sorry, are you...?
507
00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:58,720
Yes. It's me.
The wedding trasher.
508
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,960
We can sit in the back
if that's easier for you.
509
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:05,330
Ah, no, I was just gonna see
if you guys wanted some menus.
510
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,960
- Uh, yeah. Menus would be good.
- [chuckles] Okay.
511
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,360
Okay. I've heard
"wedding trasher" twice, now.
512
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,430
You're gonna have to
forgive my cousin. She's...
513
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:14,600
- Aggressive?
- Mm, more like competitive.
514
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,440
- She's super competitive.
- Can't lose.
515
00:21:16,470 --> 00:21:17,900
- [Meg] To anyone.
- Ever.
516
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,510
Which is why she's
working on weddings
517
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:20,840
instead of getting
married herself.
518
00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:22,540
- Mm-hmm. And...
- [Liz] Makes sense.
519
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:23,910
- You have to see this.
- No-no-no!
520
00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:25,610
Hold on.
521
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,680
This has over seven and
a half million views.
522
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,420
Wait for it. Yeah.
523
00:21:29,450 --> 00:21:30,720
[Perry yells in video]
524
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,320
- [Jessie groans] No...
- [splash]
525
00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,420
- Oh!
- [Meg laughing] Oh, my!
526
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,690
Wait, is that Perry Blake?
527
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,560
- [Meg] Mm-hmm.
- Yep, right there.
528
00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:40,960
You dropped a Channel Seven
news anchorman into a lake?
529
00:21:40,990 --> 00:21:42,700
Is he gonna sue you?
530
00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:45,600
I'm pretty sure my
legal responsibility ended
531
00:21:45,630 --> 00:21:48,070
once I granted his request
to return him to the ground
532
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,800
- as soon as possible.
- [laughs] Oh, Jessie!
533
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,640
But I am, now and forever,
the wedding trasher.
534
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,450
- So, I'm just gonna...
- Wait, where are you going?
535
00:21:59,010 --> 00:22:01,080
- I'm just gonna go.
- What?
536
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:02,980
I know you don't need me
or my bad press.
537
00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:04,850
- What are you...
- So, I'm gonna make it simple.
538
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,790
No, no, I think that's funny.
539
00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:09,860
Okay, you're an ass-kicker.
Just kick ass for me. Just...
540
00:22:09,890 --> 00:22:12,560
I don't know, pretend my
wedding is a guy, or something.
541
00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:15,060
- [chuckles]
- I'm serious. Sit down.
542
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:18,000
- Seriously, it's gonna be fine.
- Welcome back.
543
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:19,970
In the meantime,
let's maybe replay that?
544
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,440
- Oh, God!
- I will pay extra
545
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:22,670
for you to do that
at my wedding.
546
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:23,840
Do it in slo-mo.
547
00:22:23,870 --> 00:22:25,540
[Ritchie]
All right. So, that ends
548
00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,440
this edition of
the why book the duck tour,
549
00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:29,540
and drag me along.
So now, I get to drag her
550
00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:31,010
to Fenway Park tonight.
551
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,810
- [passengers laugh]
- [brakes squeal]
552
00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:34,880
- What'd it do?
- Quack, quack.
553
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,680
You were doing it great
all morning
554
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,490
and now you're messing it up.
What'd it do?
555
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:39,990
- Quack, quack!
- Yes!
556
00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:43,720
Okay. Everyone get off.
Leave, it's over.
557
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,590
Uh, Cinderella. Not you.
558
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,430
I need one more dance
before midnight.
559
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:49,160
[passengers
chatting indistinctly]
560
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,970
Oh, Captain, you're so funny!
561
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,800
- Yeah. Thank you.
- I just wanna...
562
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,800
Excuse me.
Sorry, comin' through.
563
00:22:54,830 --> 00:22:56,070
Whoa, one second.
564
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,510
Let me just see.
565
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:00,010
[woman laughing]
566
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,750
Excuse me. Captain Ritchie?
567
00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:08,850
- Just Ritchie.
- Hi, I'm Gail Lovejoy.
568
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,580
I'm a reporter
from WHG Channel Seven.
569
00:23:11,620 --> 00:23:13,690
I just took my parents
on your tour,
570
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,120
and we really enjoyed it.
571
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,430
Thank you, guys.
Thank you for coming.
572
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:19,530
I would love to do
a local color piece on you.
573
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,060
It sounds great,
but I'm not sure
574
00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:22,500
how funny I'd be right now.
575
00:23:22,530 --> 00:23:23,830
Oh, it wouldn't be today.
576
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:25,700
Here, I'll give you my card.
577
00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:28,640
So, just give me a call
and we'll set up a time.
578
00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:30,970
- All right. Thank you.
- Thanks.
579
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:35,210
[inhales deeply]
Okay, folks.
580
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,050
Who's ready for
the historical, hysterical,
581
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,850
completely inaccurate, but
who cares about facts anyway,
582
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,420
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour?
Come on, step right up.
583
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:45,950
[car horns honk]
584
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,930
[chains clang]
585
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,600
[grunts] Ah.
586
00:23:57,630 --> 00:23:59,030
That's gonna take
some getting used to.
587
00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:00,670
Yes. Come.
588
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:01,840
That way? Okay.
589
00:24:01,870 --> 00:24:03,040
Wait, hold on.
590
00:24:03,070 --> 00:24:05,540
- [thunks]
- Okay. Ow!
591
00:24:07,710 --> 00:24:11,480
Wait... Ah! Thank you.
592
00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:13,250
[sighs] What?
593
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,180
We're not here.
We're with the show.
594
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:17,750
Just be natural.
We're not here.
595
00:24:17,780 --> 00:24:19,750
- How does this...
- No, just... not here.
596
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:24,760
[Jimmy]
I got it.
597
00:24:24,790 --> 00:24:25,860
[Svetlana]
Thank you.
598
00:24:25,890 --> 00:24:27,130
[Jimmy]
After you.
599
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,900
[cutlery clinking]
600
00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:32,670
[dishes crashing]
601
00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,000
Oh! Ah.
602
00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:35,540
[waiter]
Oh, boy.
603
00:24:35,570 --> 00:24:37,070
Sorry. I got it.
604
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,070
[clears throat]
You're wondering about this.
605
00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:40,940
It's a love chain.
606
00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:42,710
Newest thing.
We can't be apart.
607
00:24:42,740 --> 00:24:44,140
And the video crew...
608
00:24:44,180 --> 00:24:45,650
- We're not here.
- They're not here.
609
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,180
I'll have a beer
and Svetlana...
610
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:49,480
Vodka.
611
00:24:50,820 --> 00:24:52,550
[chain rattles]
612
00:24:52,590 --> 00:24:54,150
So, Svetlana,
tell me about you.
613
00:24:54,190 --> 00:24:55,760
Where did you go to law school?
614
00:24:55,790 --> 00:24:57,090
- Harvard.
- I went to Harvard.
615
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,990
I meant the University of Yale.
616
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:01,830
Excuse me. Natasha! It's Bert!
617
00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:03,030
I'm no Natasha.
618
00:25:03,060 --> 00:25:05,730
It's Bert, from Saturday night.
619
00:25:05,770 --> 00:25:07,940
- Wrong person.
- You're not Natasha?
620
00:25:07,970 --> 00:25:09,800
Well, you must
have a twin, then.
621
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,210
No twin. Goodbye.
622
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,010
All right, well,
have a good night.
623
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,910
So, what kind of law
do you practice?
624
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
I have to go to the ladies.
625
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
It's okay. I'll wait here.
626
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Ah, yeah. Right. I'll come with you.
627
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Perfectly normal.
628
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000
I can't get into the stall.
629
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,500
What do we do?
630
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,500
You come in!
631
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Yale has a great law school.
You must be really smart.
632
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,000
What? I'm sorry. What do you...
633
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
I'm with her.
634
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:03,000
She's a nair being.
So, I'm out here waiting.
635
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,000
Should be done in a second. Just peeing.
636
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000
Oh, boy. It could be more than peeing.
637
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,000
No! Just peeing. And we're gone.
638
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Oh, I can just...there we go.
639
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
Thank you. Have a great evening. Nice to meet you.
640
00:26:29,950 --> 00:26:33,080
[band playing loud rock music]
641
00:26:33,110 --> 00:26:36,920
♪ Doctor give me the medicine ♪
642
00:26:39,020 --> 00:26:43,130
♪ And you'll see
I've got this addiction ♪
643
00:26:44,860 --> 00:26:47,060
♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪
644
00:26:47,090 --> 00:26:50,770
♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪
645
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,200
[cheering and applause]
646
00:26:53,230 --> 00:26:55,170
Thank you! Thank you!
647
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,910
We're gonna take a short
beer break, then a piss break.
648
00:26:57,940 --> 00:26:58,970
And another beer break.
649
00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:00,240
[audience laughs]
650
00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:03,640
[rock music playing on stereo]
651
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,580
- Hey!
- Come here, baby.
652
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:07,850
You killed it! Oh!
653
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,150
- Hey, Mack.
- Yo!
654
00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:10,720
Somebody I want
you to meet, Yoni.
655
00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:11,850
- [Yoni] Hi.
- Oh, hey.
656
00:27:11,890 --> 00:27:13,190
- Yoni.
- Mack.
657
00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:14,820
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
658
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:15,960
How do you guys
know each other?
659
00:27:15,990 --> 00:27:17,090
We met in New York.
660
00:27:17,130 --> 00:27:19,060
When you went
three months ago?
661
00:27:19,090 --> 00:27:20,160
Like four and a half.
662
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,830
Wait, you guys want some beer?
663
00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:23,600
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Yes, thank you.
664
00:27:23,630 --> 00:27:25,930
She's cute.
Is her name really Yoni?
665
00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:27,300
- Yes.
- Like the...
666
00:27:27,330 --> 00:27:29,740
She's a performance artist.
667
00:27:29,770 --> 00:27:32,040
How long have you guys
been seeing each other?
668
00:27:32,070 --> 00:27:34,080
Kinda since New York, yeah.
669
00:27:34,110 --> 00:27:36,780
I don't wanna sound like
a chick or anything,
670
00:27:36,810 --> 00:27:38,210
but if I was banging a girl...
671
00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:39,850
Uh-huh. We're not just banging.
672
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,080
Is it serious?
673
00:27:42,820 --> 00:27:45,190
- Maybe.
- [Mack] Ah-ha-hoh!
674
00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:46,750
Congrats, dude, that's awesome.
675
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:48,160
Thank you.
676
00:27:48,190 --> 00:27:50,290
Yeah. Is it odd
you didn't tell me?
677
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,160
No.
678
00:27:54,730 --> 00:27:56,200
- [Yoni] Here.
- Thank you.
679
00:27:56,230 --> 00:27:57,970
- You're welcome.
- Thank you. Cheers.
680
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,600
- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.
681
00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:02,740
[chain jangling]
682
00:28:02,770 --> 00:28:04,670
[crewman] Could you
do the walk one more time?
683
00:28:04,710 --> 00:28:06,070
- What?
- We didn't get it.
684
00:28:06,110 --> 00:28:07,640
I thought this
was a reality show?
685
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,010
It is, completely real.
686
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,150
So, why do we need to...
687
00:28:10,180 --> 00:28:11,680
Could you do the walk up again?
688
00:28:11,710 --> 00:28:13,120
- Okay. Again.
- [crewman] Thank you.
689
00:28:18,050 --> 00:28:19,120
[dog barks in distance]
690
00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:25,730
[growls, barks]
691
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,860
There's my baby boy.
692
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:29,760
What a nice dog.
693
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,100
[growls]
694
00:28:31,130 --> 00:28:32,330
- Don't mind him.
- [dog barks]
695
00:28:32,370 --> 00:28:34,100
His bite is worse
than his bark.
696
00:28:34,140 --> 00:28:36,170
You mean his bark
is worse than his bite?
697
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,840
- No, his bite is worse.
- [dog barks and growls]
698
00:28:38,870 --> 00:28:42,310
So, how are we going to
organize the sleeping?
699
00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:46,180
We lie down, we shutting
our eyes and be sleeping.
700
00:28:46,210 --> 00:28:48,020
Svetlana,
you are amazingly beautiful.
701
00:28:48,050 --> 00:28:50,190
- Thank you.
- Can I pee somewhere?
702
00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:51,190
- Okay.
- [chain jangles]
703
00:28:51,220 --> 00:28:52,750
Thanks. Oh...
704
00:28:54,050 --> 00:28:56,920
Oh. Oh, uh...
[clears throat]
705
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,190
[opens toilet]
706
00:28:58,230 --> 00:29:00,230
Can I just get
a little bit of privacy?
707
00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:02,300
Why? Do you think
I never before seen peeing?
708
00:29:02,330 --> 00:29:04,200
No, it's not that. Of course...
709
00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:06,470
I've seen bigger ones
and littler ones.
710
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,100
- Ah, thank you.
- You brush your teeth?
711
00:29:09,140 --> 00:29:11,970
Ah, I didn't get a brush.
I'll get one in the morning.
712
00:29:12,010 --> 00:29:13,270
- Here.
- [toilet flushes]
713
00:29:13,310 --> 00:29:15,240
- No, that's okay.
- I no sick.
714
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,080
It's not that. I just...
715
00:29:17,110 --> 00:29:18,850
- Don't be pussy.
- Okay.
716
00:29:29,460 --> 00:29:30,730
Good.
717
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:31,830
[spits]
718
00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:34,960
[both spit]
719
00:29:35,990 --> 00:29:37,830
[phone ringing]
720
00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:40,100
- Hello.
- It's me. It's eleven o'clock.
721
00:29:40,140 --> 00:29:41,500
- [Sara] Wow!
- [Lawrence] What?
722
00:29:41,540 --> 00:29:43,840
Well, Jody never told me
you were so punctual.
723
00:29:43,870 --> 00:29:45,340
- [laughs]
- [Lawrence] Ha-ha-ha.
724
00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:47,910
- Teasing me again.
- [Sara] Yes, I am.
725
00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:49,410
[Lawrence]
Well, it's a bit late.
726
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,450
- And?
- I've had a long day
727
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,280
and I'm not my best
at this time of night.
728
00:29:54,310 --> 00:29:55,920
I think if we're
gonna get together,
729
00:29:55,950 --> 00:29:57,450
I should be at my best.
730
00:29:57,490 --> 00:29:59,890
Oh, so you're
saving the worst for the last?
731
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,790
Well, yeah, you could say that.
732
00:30:01,820 --> 00:30:03,960
- So, you're bailing on me?
- No! Not... I'm not...
733
00:30:03,990 --> 00:30:05,960
- You're jilting me?
- No, I'm not jilting...
734
00:30:05,990 --> 00:30:07,460
You're stiffing me.
You're ghosting me.
735
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:08,830
You're wimping out, whatever.
736
00:30:08,860 --> 00:30:10,200
It's late. I'm tired.
737
00:30:10,230 --> 00:30:12,200
Best I call you tomorrow
and make a date then.
738
00:30:12,230 --> 00:30:13,530
Well, don't call too early
739
00:30:13,570 --> 00:30:15,800
because you know,
I do have archery class.
740
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,070
Ha!
741
00:30:18,210 --> 00:30:19,240
Was that a "ha"?
742
00:30:19,270 --> 00:30:21,010
Um, yeah, it was.
743
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,380
[Sara] Oh, no, listen.
Listen, very carefully.
744
00:30:23,410 --> 00:30:25,180
Find another "ha,"
put the two together,
745
00:30:25,210 --> 00:30:26,820
and you got yourself a laugh.
746
00:30:26,850 --> 00:30:29,920
Very funny. Yeah.
I'll practice that.
747
00:30:29,950 --> 00:30:31,350
[chuckles] Okay.
748
00:30:31,390 --> 00:30:33,560
So, what time
should I call you?
749
00:30:33,590 --> 00:30:35,160
Oh, 10:36.
750
00:30:35,190 --> 00:30:38,060
Oh! I think I'm busy
at 10:36, but...
751
00:30:38,090 --> 00:30:40,900
I might have a gap at 10:37.
752
00:30:40,930 --> 00:30:42,260
- Yeah. Ha!
- [phone disconnects]
753
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:43,230
[chuckles]
754
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:46,570
[pounding on door]
755
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:47,970
[man]
Olga!
756
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,100
- Shit!
- What?
757
00:30:49,140 --> 00:30:51,040
- Quick!
- [man] Olga!
758
00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:53,010
- Coming!
- [man] Open the fucking door!
759
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,480
[Jimmy] What?
Why are you doing that?
760
00:30:55,510 --> 00:30:58,410
- [man] Open the door!
- Coming! I'm coming!
761
00:30:58,450 --> 00:31:00,080
- [Jimmy] Ow!
- [man] Open the door!
762
00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:01,820
Coming!
763
00:31:01,850 --> 00:31:04,390
Olga, why do you
not open the freaking door?
764
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:06,290
I was asleep, what you think?!
765
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,790
Take a pee!
766
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,130
Ugh! Ah!
767
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,530
What's the problem?
Who is that?!
768
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,130
Get under the bed! Very sorry!
769
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,240
[toilet flushing]
770
00:31:22,270 --> 00:31:25,010
Come here, my little pirogue.
771
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,040
You're drunk. Go home.
772
00:31:27,070 --> 00:31:28,240
Ah, gimme kiss.
773
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,340
I have no kisses
for drunk people.
774
00:31:30,380 --> 00:31:32,180
Kisses. Come on.
775
00:31:32,210 --> 00:31:33,450
[Olga]
We've been over this...
776
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,020
- [slap]
- [Zhopa] Oh!
777
00:31:35,050 --> 00:31:36,850
[Olga] Not open for business!
778
00:31:36,890 --> 00:31:38,390
[Zhopa] Please,
gimme me big hug.
779
00:31:38,420 --> 00:31:41,260
[Olga arguing indistinctly]
780
00:31:41,290 --> 00:31:42,920
[Zhopa]
You open.
781
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,860
[Olga] It's not even
open for discussion!
782
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,870
It wasn't history that
called them the Minutemen,
783
00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:54,170
it was their wives.
784
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,070
[laughs]
785
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:57,910
Are you a Yankees fan?
786
00:31:57,940 --> 00:32:01,140
What's the difference
between a Yankee and a baby?
787
00:32:02,510 --> 00:32:04,380
A baby stops crying
after a while.
788
00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:05,580
Boom! Got him!
789
00:32:05,610 --> 00:32:07,320
[laughs]
790
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,020
Oh, Victor.
Victor, left, left, left, left.
791
00:32:12,050 --> 00:32:13,620
[passengers gasp]
792
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:24,100
[sighs] Um, sorry about that,
I thought I saw someone I knew.
793
00:32:24,130 --> 00:32:25,670
Well, actually,
I have a question.
794
00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:28,400
Have any of you seen, um...
795
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,310
a girl with a glass slipper
tattoo on her neck?
796
00:32:32,340 --> 00:32:36,380
Asking because she actually
did one of my tours, and...
797
00:32:38,110 --> 00:32:41,350
She was real magical.
She had a wonderful smile.
798
00:32:42,550 --> 00:32:43,990
She's about this tall.
799
00:32:45,350 --> 00:32:48,020
She left this.
800
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,330
[ducks quacking]
801
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,400
All right, so, yes, if you
see the tavern over there,
802
00:32:55,430 --> 00:32:58,970
Betty Ross actually
drew the first image
803
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,700
of the American flag
804
00:33:00,740 --> 00:33:03,940
on a cocktail napkin. What!
805
00:33:08,110 --> 00:33:09,640
Yoo-hoo.
806
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,180
- [bangs]
- Ah! What?
807
00:33:11,210 --> 00:33:12,710
Is safe.
808
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:14,280
- He's gone?
- Yes.
809
00:33:14,310 --> 00:33:15,280
Come out.
810
00:33:17,220 --> 00:33:18,390
Who the hell was that?
811
00:33:18,420 --> 00:33:19,590
- Nobody.
- Nobody?
812
00:33:19,620 --> 00:33:21,520
- Nobody.
- Is that a wig?
813
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,560
- No, it's my hair.
- But you're a brunette.
814
00:33:23,590 --> 00:33:26,630
No, that is wig. That's
classier for the TV show.
815
00:33:26,660 --> 00:33:28,100
Ooh.
816
00:33:30,530 --> 00:33:32,000
- You have a roommate?
- No.
817
00:33:32,030 --> 00:33:33,300
You have to be at work today?
818
00:33:33,330 --> 00:33:34,270
No, maybe tonight, later.
819
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,040
You have night court?
820
00:33:36,070 --> 00:33:38,270
No, I haven't been to that one
since last year.
821
00:33:38,310 --> 00:33:40,440
What kind of law
do you practice again?
822
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,480
No practice. I was arrested.
823
00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:44,180
- For what?
- Dancing.
824
00:33:44,210 --> 00:33:46,150
- You're a dancer?
- Yes.
825
00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:48,050
- Ballet?
- No.
826
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,450
- Broadway?
- Exotic.
827
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,150
- Stripper?
- Exotic.
828
00:33:51,190 --> 00:33:54,660
- So, you're not Svetlana?
- Just for the TV show.
829
00:33:54,690 --> 00:33:56,690
- And you're not Natasha?
- Just for the dancing.
830
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,060
Of course, for the dancing.
831
00:33:58,090 --> 00:33:59,690
You're blonde, not a brunette.
832
00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:02,200
Not a lawyer, but a stripper,
and Zhopa is your pimp.
833
00:34:02,230 --> 00:34:04,430
Do not say that.
834
00:34:04,470 --> 00:34:06,370
I am a dancer, not a hooker.
835
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,400
I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to figure it out.
836
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,570
Zhopa is managing club
where I'm working.
837
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,140
He's dangerous person.
838
00:34:12,170 --> 00:34:13,540
Zhopa mafia?
839
00:34:13,570 --> 00:34:14,780
No.
840
00:34:14,810 --> 00:34:16,110
Yes.
841
00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:17,680
Perfect.
842
00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:20,050
We can no let him
knowing about this.
843
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,320
- Or he'll kill you?
- Us.
844
00:34:22,350 --> 00:34:24,220
Olga. [scoffs]
845
00:34:24,250 --> 00:34:28,060
Olga, did you ever consider
the very slight possibility
846
00:34:28,090 --> 00:34:29,660
that he might find out about us
847
00:34:29,690 --> 00:34:32,030
when the show goes on
television all over America?!
848
00:34:32,060 --> 00:34:34,160
- No.
- I'm getting out of here.
849
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,060
I am so screwed.
What were you thinking?
850
00:34:36,100 --> 00:34:37,670
I was thinking that
I winning the money
851
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:40,270
and escaping away.
A million dollars.
852
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:43,800
Maybe you no needing it,
but I am! I am!
853
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,740
I need it too, badly.
854
00:34:45,770 --> 00:34:47,740
I'm a gambler.
855
00:34:47,770 --> 00:34:52,280
I owe some bad guys some
very large amounts of money.
856
00:34:52,310 --> 00:34:54,250
And if I don't get it,
I'm dead.
857
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,480
So, if I quit, they kill me.
858
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,390
And if I stay,
your guy kills me.
859
00:35:06,790 --> 00:35:09,100
- [knock on door]
- Yes?
860
00:35:09,130 --> 00:35:10,830
Hi.
861
00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:12,770
- Can I help you?
- I'm Jessie.
862
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:17,670
I ran into you, yesterday,
out front of the church.
863
00:35:17,710 --> 00:35:19,170
Oh.
864
00:35:19,210 --> 00:35:20,810
Yes, how could I forget?
865
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,780
Must be the concussion.
866
00:35:22,810 --> 00:35:25,410
Yeah, I am really sorry
about that. Are you okay?
867
00:35:25,450 --> 00:35:27,320
Still alive.
868
00:35:27,350 --> 00:35:29,150
Hanging on by my fingernails.
869
00:35:29,180 --> 00:35:31,120
[door closes]
870
00:35:31,150 --> 00:35:34,290
So, I'm the new planner
for Liz and Robert's wedding.
871
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,690
What?
872
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,860
You?!
873
00:35:36,890 --> 00:35:39,160
I did tell them
you should do it.
874
00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:41,530
Yeah, well, I should.
But I'm not.
875
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,130
So, how can I help you?
876
00:35:46,170 --> 00:35:49,170
Well, I'm very glad to hear
there's no hard feelings.
877
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,640
[scoffs] I didn't say that.
878
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,140
[chuckles]
879
00:35:53,810 --> 00:35:57,650
So, I ran into
a couple of slight hiccups
880
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,850
with your floor plan
for the reception.
881
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,380
No worries. I redrew it.
882
00:36:02,420 --> 00:36:04,150
Why? It's perfect.
883
00:36:04,190 --> 00:36:06,550
Perfect, except,
884
00:36:06,590 --> 00:36:10,130
there wasn't room for the band.
885
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,830
Well, there is no band.
886
00:36:11,860 --> 00:36:13,330
There's a band.
887
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,230
No, my dear. [sighs]
888
00:36:16,260 --> 00:36:19,700
There is not a band,
there's a string quartet.
889
00:36:19,730 --> 00:36:21,570
- [Jessie] Oh.
- There, in the corner.
890
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,740
Not anymore, it moved to
the church for the ceremony.
891
00:36:24,770 --> 00:36:26,270
Because?
892
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:28,640
Because there's a band,
893
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,150
per the bride,
for the reception.
894
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:32,480
It's on a big stage,
895
00:36:32,510 --> 00:36:34,350
and there was
no room for the stage.
896
00:36:34,380 --> 00:36:36,180
So, the answer
was really simple.
897
00:36:36,220 --> 00:36:38,390
I just shifted the tables,
slid the bar
898
00:36:38,420 --> 00:36:40,190
and finally,
got rid of that big thingy.
899
00:36:41,490 --> 00:36:45,160
That big thingy
is the centerpiece table.
900
00:36:46,690 --> 00:36:48,500
Right. It was blocking
everybody's view. So...
901
00:36:48,530 --> 00:36:50,800
No, no, no,
that is my signature.
902
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,540
What if we move it
to the entrance
903
00:36:56,570 --> 00:36:58,170
so that everyone sees it
as they come in?
904
00:36:58,210 --> 00:37:01,510
My dear, listen.
Since this is your first,
905
00:37:01,540 --> 00:37:03,440
and surely,
your last opportunity
906
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,950
to be a wedding planner,
907
00:37:04,980 --> 00:37:07,480
why don't you keep your
amateur ideas to yourself
908
00:37:07,510 --> 00:37:09,350
and let the professionals
do it?
909
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:12,720
The layout is perfect.
We're not gonna change anything.
910
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,290
We'll have no stage
911
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,430
and the centerpiece will stay
exactly where it should be,
912
00:37:19,460 --> 00:37:20,700
in... the... center.
913
00:37:25,330 --> 00:37:28,470
Well, I just came from them,
and this is what they want.
914
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:31,340
[laughs] Yeah.
915
00:37:31,370 --> 00:37:33,510
You just run along,
I'll talk to Robert.
916
00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:38,310
Okay. I know you are
a big famous deal,
917
00:37:38,350 --> 00:37:39,850
and I am new at this.
918
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,820
However,
this wedding is not about me.
919
00:37:41,850 --> 00:37:43,380
It's certainly not about you.
920
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:45,350
Our job here, is to
give the bride and groom
921
00:37:45,390 --> 00:37:47,620
what they truly want.
And if what they truly want
922
00:37:47,650 --> 00:37:50,860
is a Buddhist monk on a trapeze
singing "Stairway to Heaven,"
923
00:37:50,890 --> 00:37:53,660
then that is what they
should get. It's their day.
924
00:37:53,690 --> 00:37:56,500
- Now, don't get hysterical.
- [Jessie scoffs] Really?!
925
00:37:56,530 --> 00:37:58,330
Hysterical?
926
00:37:58,370 --> 00:38:00,500
That's what this looks like
to you, is hysterical?
927
00:38:00,530 --> 00:38:01,640
Why? Because I'm a girl?
928
00:38:04,570 --> 00:38:07,380
I don't get hysterical
929
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,610
and I don't lose, ever.
930
00:38:10,650 --> 00:38:12,650
- [paper rustling]
- So...
931
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,510
I'm gonna make this work.
932
00:38:14,550 --> 00:38:16,550
If you would like
to work with me on it,
933
00:38:16,580 --> 00:38:19,850
that would be great, otherwise,
it's gonna be so much easier
934
00:38:19,890 --> 00:38:22,860
now that I have figured
out precisely where
935
00:38:22,890 --> 00:38:24,760
you can shove your centerpiece.
936
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,390
[doorknob rattles]
937
00:38:28,830 --> 00:38:29,830
It opens in.
938
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:33,700
That was my second option.
939
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,510
Wait! Wait.
940
00:38:41,940 --> 00:38:43,710
Let me have another look
at your plan.
941
00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:58,330
Give it up. Give it up.
942
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,970
♪ The sign said danger
Beware of thin ice ♪
943
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:11,000
♪ So, I walked out
And closed my eyes ♪
944
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,340
♪ Safe and warm
On the shoreline ♪
945
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:18,950
♪ So, why did I
Walk out on thin ice? ♪
946
00:39:20,750 --> 00:39:22,850
♪ Is that cracking I hear? ♪
947
00:39:24,690 --> 00:39:27,960
♪ Is it drowning I fear?... ♪
948
00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:29,660
[speaking indistinctly]
949
00:39:29,690 --> 00:39:31,730
[voice on phone app]
Make a right turn now.
950
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,700
Good. Good.
951
00:39:35,130 --> 00:39:36,700
I've got the door for you.
952
00:39:36,730 --> 00:39:39,330
[Sara] Oh, sorry.
Thank you so much. Oh!
953
00:39:39,370 --> 00:39:43,040
[Jordan]
♪ I could really get killed ♪
954
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:47,010
♪ I'm almost certain
That I'll fall through ♪
955
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,910
- [loud crash]
- [Sara] Oh! Oh, my! I... Oh.
956
00:39:50,940 --> 00:39:52,850
[dog whimpers]
957
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,350
[Sara mutters] Oh, my...
958
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:58,450
Ah. So.
959
00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:00,520
Lawrence! Oh, God.
Thank goodness.
960
00:40:00,550 --> 00:40:03,020
Thank God, at least
I wrecked the right office.
961
00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:05,090
It's only a couple of lamps.
962
00:40:05,130 --> 00:40:06,830
-Yeah, I... Oh!
963
00:40:06,860 --> 00:40:08,730
- Oh! Ah.
- [dog barks]
964
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,800
- And a painting.
- You'd think that Teddy and I
965
00:40:10,830 --> 00:40:13,730
would be better at this,
but oh, no, we just...
966
00:40:13,770 --> 00:40:16,100
we just keep
banging into things.
967
00:40:16,140 --> 00:40:17,840
But honestly,
I will pay for this.
968
00:40:17,870 --> 00:40:19,670
No, no, no. Nothing's broken.
969
00:40:19,710 --> 00:40:22,610
Too many lamps anyway.
[chuckles]
970
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,080
So, I wasn't expecting you.
What are you...
971
00:40:25,110 --> 00:40:27,650
Well, 10:37, it came and went.
972
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,620
And then 10:38. So,
you know what I did?
973
00:40:29,650 --> 00:40:30,950
I brought us lunch.
974
00:40:30,980 --> 00:40:34,760
Oh, God! I was
supposed to call you.
975
00:40:34,790 --> 00:40:36,560
- That's right. You forgot.
- I'm...
976
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:39,860
I never forget anything.
977
00:40:39,890 --> 00:40:42,560
Well, I don't think you can
ever say that again, can you?
978
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,100
I'm so angry at myself.
979
00:40:45,130 --> 00:40:47,640
Isn't that my role
as the victim, here?
980
00:40:47,670 --> 00:40:50,640
Yes, well, yeah. Yes,
you should be angry, too.
981
00:40:50,670 --> 00:40:54,010
I was. But then,
I did destroy your office,
982
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,010
so, we're even.
983
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,710
Yes. [chuckles]
Suppose we are.
984
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:02,120
So, we could either,
I don't know, eat here
985
00:41:02,150 --> 00:41:04,120
or we could eat
outside in the park?
986
00:41:04,150 --> 00:41:10,020
Well, I think it might
be safer in the park.
987
00:41:10,060 --> 00:41:12,430
- [both laugh]
- You're funny.
988
00:41:16,530 --> 00:41:17,830
What is this?
989
00:41:17,860 --> 00:41:19,830
Hang on. You guys wait outside.
990
00:41:19,870 --> 00:41:21,100
Can't do that.
991
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,140
I got a shrink
appointment here.
992
00:41:23,170 --> 00:41:25,040
- Could you just wait outside?
- Ah, no.
993
00:41:25,070 --> 00:41:28,080
Look, this is private,
personal.
994
00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:29,810
And my doctor is very strict.
995
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,750
If I miss my appointment,
I'll lose my slot.
996
00:41:31,780 --> 00:41:33,550
- Just give me an hour.
- No.
997
00:41:33,580 --> 00:41:34,750
- Are you kidding me?
- No.
998
00:41:34,780 --> 00:41:36,620
This contract that you signed,
999
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:39,050
gives us complete and total
24-hour access to your life
1000
00:41:39,090 --> 00:41:40,550
for the duration of the show.
1001
00:41:40,590 --> 00:41:42,790
If, at any point,
you deny us that access,
1002
00:41:42,820 --> 00:41:44,460
I have the right,
and the obligation,
1003
00:41:44,490 --> 00:41:45,830
to set off the alarm,
1004
00:41:45,860 --> 00:41:47,890
thereby terminating
your participation
1005
00:41:47,930 --> 00:41:49,860
in any and all future episodes
of Crash Couples.
1006
00:41:49,900 --> 00:41:53,440
Okay. Good.
Great, fine. Let's go.
1007
00:41:56,900 --> 00:41:58,670
I can explain.
1008
00:41:58,710 --> 00:42:00,210
- Hello... What's this?
- I can explain.
1009
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,210
Have you forgotten about
our boundary rules?
1010
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:04,250
- And you, who are you, sir?
- We're not here.
1011
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,810
- Hiya.
- This is highly irregular.
1012
00:42:05,850 --> 00:42:07,050
Dr. Offerman, they're fine.
1013
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,620
I'm involved in this project,
1014
00:42:08,650 --> 00:42:10,120
so, normal session.
1015
00:42:10,150 --> 00:42:11,720
No secrets. Please.
Let's just get going.
1016
00:42:11,750 --> 00:42:13,690
No secrets. Fine.
1017
00:42:13,720 --> 00:42:17,190
So, last week
was clearly revealing.
1018
00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:19,730
- How much you pay him?
- Seven hundred. Can we...
1019
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,160
- A month?
- An hour.
1020
00:42:21,190 --> 00:42:23,100
- Fifty minutes, actually.
- What? That's crazy!
1021
00:42:23,130 --> 00:42:24,930
My girlfriend hooker
gets only three-fifty,
1022
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,800
and she will screw you
for the whole hour!
1023
00:42:26,830 --> 00:42:28,840
This is a bad idea.
Doctor, I'll see you next week.
1024
00:42:28,870 --> 00:42:30,240
Ah, textbook avoidance.
1025
00:42:30,270 --> 00:42:32,110
Clearly, you're
resisting examining
1026
00:42:32,140 --> 00:42:35,140
why you chose to bring a woman
of this type here, today.
1027
00:42:35,170 --> 00:42:37,840
- What you mean by that?
- We've been exploring Jimmy's
1028
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,910
- sexuality issues.
- This is not...
1029
00:42:39,950 --> 00:42:43,250
Sit, Jimmy. He doesn't
having any issues.
1030
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,090
[chuckles]
Oh, I beg to differ.
1031
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,990
There are numerous signs
pointing to
1032
00:42:47,020 --> 00:42:49,090
Jimmy's desire
to explore his feminine side.
1033
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,530
What?! Now, I'm thinking that
you're the mental case here.
1034
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,030
[scoffs]
You are hardly qualified.
1035
00:42:55,060 --> 00:42:56,860
I'm no qualified,
I am stripper.
1036
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:58,770
I can tell if guy
is straight or homo,
1037
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,570
when he pull into
the parking lot.
1038
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,540
- Please, let's just...
- I know these things.
1039
00:43:02,570 --> 00:43:04,240
Now, let's get out of here.
1040
00:43:04,270 --> 00:43:07,810
You might examining why you
sucking so hard on that pipe?
1041
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,910
And don't try to
charging Jimmy for this hour.
1042
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:17,690
Wow. You stood up for me.
1043
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:21,050
Of course. You're a good man.
He's Doctor Bullshit.
1044
00:43:21,090 --> 00:43:22,790
No one ever stands up for me.
1045
00:43:22,820 --> 00:43:24,690
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
1046
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:27,800
Last night, when
you and that guy were
1047
00:43:27,830 --> 00:43:31,070
- bouncing a lot, were you...
- Oh. Were we doing it?
1048
00:43:31,100 --> 00:43:33,300
No, never. He can no do it.
1049
00:43:33,330 --> 00:43:36,100
He just hugging and breathing
a lot and falling a-sleeping.
1050
00:43:36,140 --> 00:43:39,110
- Oh, okay. Good.
- Why?
1051
00:43:39,140 --> 00:43:41,740
Nothing. I just... Nothing.
1052
00:43:48,650 --> 00:43:50,080
- Hey, boss.
- Yeah?
1053
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:51,920
[Menny]
Olga.
1054
00:43:51,950 --> 00:43:53,150
Stop!
1055
00:43:53,190 --> 00:43:54,790
[tires squeal]
1056
00:43:54,820 --> 00:43:56,190
Oh! Oh, dammit.
1057
00:43:56,220 --> 00:43:57,630
- What?
- Zhopa.
1058
00:43:57,660 --> 00:43:59,030
- What's going on?
- Ah. Oh!
1059
00:44:00,230 --> 00:44:02,160
- Oh!
- What the fuck is this?
1060
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,130
- I can explain!
- Get in the car!
1061
00:44:05,370 --> 00:44:06,770
What is this?
1062
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,640
- I-I-I-I...
- Shut up! Get in the car!
1063
00:44:09,670 --> 00:44:12,210
- Stop that filming!
- We're not actually here.
1064
00:44:16,140 --> 00:44:17,710
Let's go!
1065
00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:19,610
You didn't cut the camera,
did you?
1066
00:44:19,650 --> 00:44:21,320
- No way!
- Great. Let's follow 'em.
1067
00:44:21,350 --> 00:44:22,880
[car engine revs]
1068
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,120
[tires squeal]
1069
00:44:27,820 --> 00:44:29,090
[ducks quacking]
1070
00:44:30,890 --> 00:44:32,090
[gentle guitar strumming]
1071
00:44:34,230 --> 00:44:35,830
You're quiet. You all right?
1072
00:44:35,860 --> 00:44:38,330
Oh, yes. I'm just enjoying...
1073
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,670
The view. [chuckles]
1074
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:43,700
Whoa. You're sure forgetful.
1075
00:44:43,740 --> 00:44:45,270
- [chuckles]
- And you're funny.
1076
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:47,010
You're changing.
1077
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,410
Oh, no-no-no, don't say that.
I hate change.
1078
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,080
Change is horrible.
1079
00:44:51,110 --> 00:44:53,080
I don't know why
everybody loves change.
1080
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:56,350
How so? I don't understand?
1081
00:44:57,950 --> 00:45:01,820
I mean, everything.
Take the telephone.
1082
00:45:01,860 --> 00:45:03,960
A hundred years ago,
Alexander Graham Bell
1083
00:45:03,990 --> 00:45:06,930
invented it and it worked fine
for all those years.
1084
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,300
- You pick it up,
- Yeah.
1085
00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:11,430
and you talk to whoever.
You make a date.
1086
00:45:11,460 --> 00:45:13,430
- You go to the movies, right?
- Uh-huh.
1087
00:45:13,470 --> 00:45:15,800
- Now...
- Uh-huh, okay.
1088
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,110
Some bright spark has
invented the cell phone.
1089
00:45:19,140 --> 00:45:21,310
So, everybody,
instead of watching the movie,
1090
00:45:21,340 --> 00:45:24,650
they're calling and texting
and...
1091
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,880
- Well...
- How can that...
1092
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,820
How can that be better,
that change, huh?
1093
00:45:29,850 --> 00:45:33,150
Well, that's fine, but too
much order and routine
1094
00:45:33,190 --> 00:45:34,920
and, I don't know, it's like,
1095
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,060
you lose the joy of
chaos and randomness.
1096
00:45:38,090 --> 00:45:39,930
I would have thought
you hated surprises.
1097
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,760
Quite the opposite.
You know what?
1098
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:46,230
They make me feel... alive.
1099
00:45:46,270 --> 00:45:47,370
I love it.
1100
00:45:48,940 --> 00:45:50,000
[camera shutter clicks]
1101
00:45:53,310 --> 00:45:54,840
Are you taking my photograph?
1102
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,010
I am.
1103
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,810
[groans] Oh, God.
1104
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,250
Why?
1105
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,750
Because I'm a photographer.
[chuckles]
1106
00:46:01,780 --> 00:46:04,150
[laughing] How can
you see what you're taking?
1107
00:46:04,180 --> 00:46:06,750
Well, of course, I don't.
1108
00:46:06,790 --> 00:46:08,760
I shoot what I hear.
1109
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:10,990
[indistinct chatter,
children playing]
1110
00:46:11,020 --> 00:46:12,890
- What you hear?
- Yeah.
1111
00:46:12,930 --> 00:46:14,900
You see, I wasn't always blind.
1112
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,500
I was diagnosed
when I was twenty,
1113
00:46:18,530 --> 00:46:20,430
with Neuromyelitis Optica.
1114
00:46:20,470 --> 00:46:23,400
And then, over
the next seven years, my,
1115
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:28,440
well, my vision deteriorated
to the point where now,
1116
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,310
[exhales] I can only,
very vaguely, make out
1117
00:46:32,350 --> 00:46:35,450
traces of color and light.
1118
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,780
So, how do you
see the photographs?
1119
00:46:37,820 --> 00:46:40,090
My friend describes
each one to me.
1120
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,260
And then I choose one.
1121
00:46:42,290 --> 00:46:45,860
And then I record what I heard
1122
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:48,900
and how I felt
the moment I took it.
1123
00:46:48,930 --> 00:46:50,160
- Hm.
- Mm-hmm.
1124
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:51,830
You're extraordinary.
1125
00:46:51,860 --> 00:46:53,400
Then the viewer walks up,
1126
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,870
presses play, and gets to
experience the moment
1127
00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:00,170
in the different ways
we both do.
1128
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,050
Like you and I, here?
1129
00:47:06,210 --> 00:47:08,350
Yeah. Yeah.
1130
00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:14,520
Like you and I, here.
1131
00:47:14,550 --> 00:47:18,130
[Jordan] ♪ Maybe this
time Love is true ♪
1132
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,130
♪ I can skate across with you ♪
1133
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:28,900
♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪
1134
00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:37,010
♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪
1135
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,910
[club music playing]
1136
00:47:38,950 --> 00:47:42,080
This is the craziest thing
that I am hearing.
1137
00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:45,520
And you were there the night
that I was visiting her?
1138
00:47:45,550 --> 00:47:48,490
No. I mean, yeah. I had to.
1139
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,990
I didn't hear anything.
1140
00:47:50,020 --> 00:47:52,160
You thinking I am stupid?
1141
00:47:52,190 --> 00:47:54,090
I was under the bed,
it was muffled.
1142
00:47:54,130 --> 00:47:55,560
Take off the chains, kill him.
1143
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,360
No! You can no do this!
1144
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,200
Get off, or I kill you, too.
1145
00:47:59,230 --> 00:48:01,070
No! This is a good man.
1146
00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:03,370
- Are you loving him?
- No.
1147
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,210
- Are you loving me?
- Nyet! Never!
1148
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:07,840
Kill them both.
1149
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:12,350
Zhopa! We will losing
one million dollars.
1150
00:48:12,380 --> 00:48:14,880
What? Say this again.
1151
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,520
The prize is one million
for the winning.
1152
00:48:17,550 --> 00:48:19,020
You heard of this show?
1153
00:48:19,050 --> 00:48:21,420
Da. On TBS,
Monday nights at ten.
1154
00:48:21,460 --> 00:48:24,120
Funny show. Is Conan's lead-in.
1155
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:25,290
Do I kill him?
1156
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,860
[Zhopa]
No.
1157
00:48:26,890 --> 00:48:29,260
We are partners now.
1158
00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:32,430
I am getting sixty percent
of yours monies,
1159
00:48:32,470 --> 00:48:34,070
and eighty percent of yours.
1160
00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:35,870
Eighty? What?
That's a terrible deal!
1161
00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:37,610
You not dying, and making
a hundred thousand dollars
1162
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,340
is great deal.
1163
00:48:39,370 --> 00:48:41,410
Well, you've got
a gun to my head. Literally.
1164
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,610
So, I agree.
1165
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,380
Smart man. Now,
1166
00:48:44,410 --> 00:48:46,650
I am figuring out how
we are winning this contest.
1167
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,080
- Go to work.
- What? Stripping?
1168
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,450
With this?
1169
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,450
Is kinky. You make more monies.
1170
00:48:52,490 --> 00:48:54,590
Leave me alone.
1171
00:48:54,620 --> 00:48:56,560
[Gail]
These modified World War II
1172
00:48:56,590 --> 00:48:58,230
amphibious vehicles
1173
00:48:58,260 --> 00:49:00,360
are a delightful must
for all tourists.
1174
00:49:00,390 --> 00:49:02,630
The past and present
of American history
1175
00:49:02,660 --> 00:49:06,970
are brought to life by
conductors like Captain Richie.
1176
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,340
Interesting fact, because
part of the Boston Harbor
1177
00:49:09,370 --> 00:49:11,640
has been filled in,
the actual site
1178
00:49:11,670 --> 00:49:15,210
of the Boston Tea Party
is right over there.
1179
00:49:15,240 --> 00:49:17,010
And now it's a Starbucks.
1180
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:18,380
[chuckles]
1181
00:49:18,410 --> 00:49:20,110
Captain Richie
has been giving
1182
00:49:20,150 --> 00:49:23,380
hysterical historical tours
for over ten years.
1183
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:26,150
My jokes are older than
most of these buildings.
1184
00:49:26,190 --> 00:49:29,420
So, after all these years
of making people happy,
1185
00:49:29,460 --> 00:49:32,960
Richie fell in love
with one of his passengers.
1186
00:49:32,990 --> 00:49:35,700
Instant lightning bolt love.
1187
00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:37,460
But there's a problem.
1188
00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:41,570
[exhales] I don't know
who or where she is.
1189
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,440
Since they met, he's been
searching for his Cinderella.
1190
00:49:44,470 --> 00:49:46,410
The only clue is
that she has a tattoo
1191
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,640
of a glass slipper
on her neck.
1192
00:49:48,670 --> 00:49:50,240
More than likely,
she's a tourist
1193
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,050
who's gone back home.
1194
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,110
Never knowing that her
true love could be right here.
1195
00:49:55,150 --> 00:49:59,190
Hmm. Ah. That's so sad.
1196
00:49:59,220 --> 00:50:02,060
Maybe not, because we're
romantics, here at Seven.
1197
00:50:02,090 --> 00:50:04,160
We love lovers.
1198
00:50:04,190 --> 00:50:06,260
So, this Saturday,
we're riding with Ritchie
1199
00:50:06,290 --> 00:50:08,590
to the Nashua Park steps
on the Charles River.
1200
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:11,730
So, if you're Cinderella,
or if you know her,
1201
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,130
please come join us
at five o'clock
1202
00:50:14,170 --> 00:50:16,400
to meet your Prince Charming.
1203
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:17,970
Thanks, Gail.
1204
00:50:18,010 --> 00:50:20,070
And in baseball,
the Sox had a big day.
1205
00:50:20,110 --> 00:50:22,110
Billy Gersh is
here with highlights
1206
00:50:22,140 --> 00:50:25,180
♪ I punch in this morning
And checkin' my check ♪
1207
00:50:25,210 --> 00:50:27,180
♪ Short again ♪
1208
00:50:27,210 --> 00:50:28,680
♪ Man, what the heck? ♪
1209
00:50:28,710 --> 00:50:31,280
♪ They got me
Working overtime ♪
1210
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,190
♪ Every Saturday ♪
1211
00:50:33,220 --> 00:50:35,020
♪ That's wrong
That's screwed up ♪
1212
00:50:35,050 --> 00:50:37,120
♪ Someone's gotta pay ♪
1213
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,060
♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪
1214
00:50:41,090 --> 00:50:44,470
♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me ♪
1215
00:50:46,230 --> 00:50:47,770
- What do you think?
- They're great!
1216
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,670
Right? Best bar band in town.
1217
00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:51,570
Love 'em!
1218
00:50:51,610 --> 00:50:55,580
♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪
1219
00:50:55,610 --> 00:50:59,610
♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me! ♪
1220
00:50:59,650 --> 00:51:02,620
[cheers and applause]
1221
00:51:02,650 --> 00:51:06,150
Thank you, thank you, guys.
Be back in ten.
1222
00:51:06,190 --> 00:51:07,450
[Mack]
More like 15.
1223
00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:11,760
- Hey, Hi. I'm Jessie.
- Mack.
1224
00:51:11,790 --> 00:51:14,030
I've been watching
you guys for years.
1225
00:51:14,060 --> 00:51:15,760
- I love the band.
- Thank you. Thank you.
1226
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,530
My friend, Liz,
at the bar over there,
1227
00:51:18,570 --> 00:51:20,470
is getting married soon,
1228
00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:23,640
and we were hoping to hire
you guys to play the wedding.
1229
00:51:23,670 --> 00:51:25,340
Oh, we don't play weddings.
1230
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:27,770
Well, it's really not
a wedding, per se.
1231
00:51:27,810 --> 00:51:31,150
It's crazy party
after a wedding.
1232
00:51:31,180 --> 00:51:32,750
We don't do
wedding parties, either.
1233
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:34,650
He's just saying that
because he knows
1234
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,820
he looks like a dork
in a powder blue tuxedo.
1235
00:51:36,850 --> 00:51:39,420
We just don't play wedding
songs like "Celebration."
1236
00:51:39,450 --> 00:51:42,590
Cool, I get why weddings
could seem beneath you
1237
00:51:42,620 --> 00:51:44,760
- or cheesy or Tom Jones-y.
- [Mack] Mm-hmm.
1238
00:51:44,790 --> 00:51:47,260
But this one is very different.
1239
00:51:47,290 --> 00:51:49,100
Uh-huh. Why?
1240
00:51:49,130 --> 00:51:50,800
Well, firstly,
it's gonna be like,
1241
00:51:50,830 --> 00:51:54,370
"Oh, my God!
Last night was crazy!
1242
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,500
- How did I wake up in Canada?"
- [Mack chuckles]
1243
00:51:56,540 --> 00:51:58,270
"Where did I
get this alligator?"
1244
00:51:58,300 --> 00:52:00,070
- [laughs]
- "The only thing I remember
1245
00:52:00,110 --> 00:52:01,510
is that band was amaze-balls."
1246
00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:04,140
And secondly,
while I personally love
1247
00:52:04,180 --> 00:52:07,450
the song "Celebration",
you don't have to play it.
1248
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:09,550
Listen, it's...
1249
00:52:09,580 --> 00:52:12,820
it is my first gig
as a wedding planner.
1250
00:52:12,850 --> 00:52:14,290
So, it has to be perfect.
1251
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,460
And your band
is beyond perfect.
1252
00:52:16,490 --> 00:52:18,860
So, you guys, pretty much,
have to do it
1253
00:52:18,890 --> 00:52:22,500
under the universal laws
of love and romance.
1254
00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:24,260
Universal law. [laughs]
1255
00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:26,100
- [Jessie] Yeah.
- Okay, uh...
1256
00:52:26,130 --> 00:52:27,270
Hold on.
1257
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,240
I will arm wrestle you
for a yes.
1258
00:52:31,270 --> 00:52:32,840
You'll what?
1259
00:52:32,870 --> 00:52:34,540
You're bigger than me, come on.
1260
00:52:34,570 --> 00:52:37,380
Look at those biceps.
Seriously.
1261
00:52:37,410 --> 00:52:40,210
I win, I get a yes.
You pin me, I walk.
1262
00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:41,580
Let you enjoy your evening.
1263
00:52:41,610 --> 00:52:43,250
I can't say yes
without my partner
1264
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,280
Talk to your partner...
What about your mommy?
1265
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:46,550
Come on, you big baby.
1266
00:52:48,190 --> 00:52:50,360
All right. All right.
1267
00:52:50,390 --> 00:52:52,360
Okay.
1268
00:52:52,390 --> 00:52:54,830
One, two, three, go!
1269
00:52:54,860 --> 00:52:56,460
Damn, you're strong.
[laughs]
1270
00:52:56,500 --> 00:52:57,800
I really need a yes.
1271
00:52:57,830 --> 00:53:00,300
I really wanna
give you that yes, but...
1272
00:53:00,330 --> 00:53:01,840
You don't have a choice.
1273
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:04,710
[groans]
1274
00:53:04,740 --> 00:53:07,370
Ah! Whoo!
1275
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,180
All right. No,
I made a bet and I lost it.
1276
00:53:13,210 --> 00:53:15,350
Listen, this is my guitar arm.
1277
00:53:15,380 --> 00:53:17,150
It had superpowers.
It's not fair.
1278
00:53:17,180 --> 00:53:18,490
Thank you for your
consideration
1279
00:53:20,420 --> 00:53:21,890
- Did you get 'em?
- Not happening.
1280
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,490
It's okay, we'll get
somebody better.
1281
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,490
- I thought they were the best.
- They are.
1282
00:53:25,530 --> 00:53:27,390
I told you not to hire me.
1283
00:53:27,430 --> 00:53:30,530
[laughs] Well, here, these were
to celebrate our new band,
1284
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,230
but now we'll just have to
celebrate your firing. Hmm.
1285
00:53:33,270 --> 00:53:34,900
Oh, great. [chuckles]
Cheers to that.
1286
00:53:37,370 --> 00:53:40,370
Come on. Let's
go find a new band.
1287
00:53:40,410 --> 00:53:42,710
[Lenny] Ah, I guess.
I just... [chuckles]
1288
00:53:42,740 --> 00:53:46,650
I don't know a single musician
that would take that gig, so...
1289
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,210
Look, if it's
that big of a deal,
1290
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:49,880
it could be good for the band.
1291
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,550
- We don't do weddings.
- Yeah, but this is different.
1292
00:53:52,590 --> 00:53:54,190
Oh, my God. Mack,
1293
00:53:54,220 --> 00:53:56,560
at a wedding, no one
cares who the band is.
1294
00:53:56,590 --> 00:53:59,190
Everyone's drunk
and they wanna dance.
1295
00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:01,300
And they're gonna
ask for "Celebration"
1296
00:54:01,330 --> 00:54:02,830
until you play it.
1297
00:54:02,860 --> 00:54:05,570
And at that moment,
you're officially over.
1298
00:54:07,230 --> 00:54:09,640
If you could just
give us one second?
1299
00:54:11,610 --> 00:54:13,470
We've played together
since high school.
1300
00:54:13,510 --> 00:54:14,810
That's right.
1301
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,510
Make all our decisions,
1302
00:54:16,540 --> 00:54:17,980
you and me, just the two of us.
1303
00:54:18,010 --> 00:54:19,610
She makes a good point,
all right?
1304
00:54:19,650 --> 00:54:21,380
Don't get all
bent out of shape.
1305
00:54:21,410 --> 00:54:22,880
I'm not, I'm not.
I just don't wanna
1306
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:24,820
miss out on an opportunity,
you know?
1307
00:54:24,850 --> 00:54:27,290
We're kind of stuck here.
we could use the money.
1308
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:29,290
- That's...
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1309
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,890
You're not doing this for that
chick in there though, right?
1310
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:32,930
No.
1311
00:54:34,590 --> 00:54:37,500
- Maybe.
- [both laugh]
1312
00:54:37,530 --> 00:54:39,970
All right. Cool.
1313
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,640
[clinks]
1314
00:54:41,670 --> 00:54:43,400
And look, we're
not gonna play anything
1315
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,810
from the "Kool and the Gang"
catalog. Relax, okay?
1316
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:48,640
Jessie.
1317
00:54:52,850 --> 00:54:54,320
[phone ringing]
1318
00:54:56,720 --> 00:54:57,880
This is Jessie.
1319
00:54:57,920 --> 00:54:59,490
Hey-hey, it's Mack.
1320
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,420
Sorry, uh, Mack?
1321
00:55:01,450 --> 00:55:03,720
Mack, from the band?
1322
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,360
Oh! Hi. [chuckles] Hi. Sorry.
1323
00:55:07,390 --> 00:55:10,300
- Is this a bad time?
- Yeah, kinda, I...
1324
00:55:10,330 --> 00:55:11,400
Well, we're in.
1325
00:55:11,430 --> 00:55:12,830
[Jessie] In?
1326
00:55:12,870 --> 00:55:14,330
The wedding.
1327
00:55:14,370 --> 00:55:15,640
Wait, really?
1328
00:55:15,670 --> 00:55:17,700
I mean, that... I... Wow!
1329
00:55:17,740 --> 00:55:20,740
I thought, you know,
you won, I lost, and...
1330
00:55:20,770 --> 00:55:23,680
You know, only six-year-olds
make career choices
1331
00:55:23,710 --> 00:55:25,710
based on arm-wrestling matches.
1332
00:55:25,750 --> 00:55:28,420
[chuckles] Are you
calling me a six-year-old?
1333
00:55:28,450 --> 00:55:31,690
Yeah. But you gotta pay
in dollars, not Play-Doh.
1334
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,820
[Jessie] Okay.
You drive a hard bargain,
1335
00:55:33,850 --> 00:55:35,390
but I can arrange that.
1336
00:55:35,420 --> 00:55:37,420
This is fantastic.
Mack, thank you so much!
1337
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,920
You are saving my life.
Seriously.
1338
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,060
I love you for this.
1339
00:55:40,090 --> 00:55:42,030
I have that effect on people.
1340
00:55:42,060 --> 00:55:45,770
Good to know. Well, great.
I'll text you the details then.
1341
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,270
- All right. Bye.
- [Jessie] Bye.
1342
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:55,710
[giggles] Yes! Yes!
1343
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,750
[game show music on TV]
1344
00:56:00,780 --> 00:56:02,550
Lots of drama this week.
1345
00:56:02,580 --> 00:56:04,580
Two couples have
already crashed and burned.
1346
00:56:04,620 --> 00:56:07,620
The first one seems to be
kosher versus the kebab.
1347
00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:08,960
[yelling]
1348
00:56:08,990 --> 00:56:10,360
[engine revs]
1349
00:56:10,390 --> 00:56:12,990
[alarm blares]
1350
00:56:13,030 --> 00:56:16,360
[yelling continues]
1351
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:17,460
And they're done.
1352
00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:18,730
This you?
1353
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,430
- That was not us.
- [on TV] Beat it!
1354
00:56:20,470 --> 00:56:21,470
[pauses TV]
1355
00:56:25,370 --> 00:56:26,640
[Zhopa]
Not you?
1356
00:56:27,870 --> 00:56:30,910
Okay. That is us.
1357
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:32,680
[laughs]
1358
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,750
Next, a truly bizarre
wake-up call.
1359
00:56:43,060 --> 00:56:44,620
- [screams]
- [lamb bleats]
1360
00:56:44,660 --> 00:56:45,730
- What?
- Oh, my God!
1361
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:46,930
What are you wearing?!
1362
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,700
Oh, my God, what is that?
What is...
1363
00:56:48,730 --> 00:56:50,700
I have no idea
what the hell is that.
1364
00:56:50,730 --> 00:56:53,070
I don't know how she got in
here. I don't even know her.
1365
00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:55,570
- I'm a church-going lady!
- I would never wear this!
1366
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,600
Do not push the button,
I need this million!
1367
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,870
- [screaming]
- No! You can't pull it!
1368
00:56:59,910 --> 00:57:02,070
- [alarm blares]
- And they're done.
1369
00:57:02,110 --> 00:57:03,780
[audience on TV]
Beat it! Beat it!
1370
00:57:03,810 --> 00:57:06,450
- That was us.
- Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
1371
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,380
One of our couples actually
seems to be getting along.
1372
00:57:09,420 --> 00:57:12,590
[baseball organ music playing]
1373
00:57:12,620 --> 00:57:14,490
[crowd cheering]
1374
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,590
Whoa, the shortstop
just got to second base.
1375
00:57:16,620 --> 00:57:18,160
- [laughs]
- [plays drum sting]
1376
00:57:18,190 --> 00:57:19,890
But there's more. We've got
1377
00:57:19,930 --> 00:57:22,400
a Crash Couples exclusive
for you tonight.
1378
00:57:22,430 --> 00:57:24,530
The other final couple
has a secret.
1379
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,670
It turns out Svetlana
is not a lawyer.
1380
00:57:27,700 --> 00:57:30,670
This is where she
passed her bar exam.
1381
00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:32,710
Or should I say pole exam?
1382
00:57:32,740 --> 00:57:34,070
[loud club music playing]
1383
00:57:34,110 --> 00:57:35,680
[Eddie]
Woo-hoo, looks like Jimmy
1384
00:57:35,710 --> 00:57:36,780
isn't her best man.
1385
00:57:36,810 --> 00:57:38,880
[whistling and cheering]
1386
00:57:41,980 --> 00:57:44,580
- [Bev] Okay.
- He's my brother.
1387
00:57:44,620 --> 00:57:46,120
There's that, and there's this.
1388
00:57:46,150 --> 00:57:47,950
[Eddie]
Whoop, doesn't look like
1389
00:57:47,990 --> 00:57:49,720
he's working on his toast
for his brother,
1390
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,490
Robert Barton's wedding
1391
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:53,190
Oh, there's a push!
And another push.
1392
00:57:53,230 --> 00:57:55,200
Oh! [laughs]
Look out! Look at...
1393
00:57:55,230 --> 00:57:57,530
Oh, there's gotta be some
hair pulling in this one.
1394
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:59,000
There's the hair pull!
1395
00:57:59,030 --> 00:58:00,500
So, we've got
the wedding trasher
1396
00:58:00,530 --> 00:58:01,970
and now this.
1397
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,640
He's in the finals.
That's not bad.
1398
00:58:03,670 --> 00:58:05,140
It's not bad, it's terrible!
1399
00:58:05,170 --> 00:58:07,440
Your lead has gone from
seven points to four,
1400
00:58:07,470 --> 00:58:08,570
that falls within
the statistical error range.
1401
00:58:08,610 --> 00:58:09,910
You could lose this.
1402
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,110
- Oh, boy, here they come.
- [chain jangling]
1403
00:58:13,150 --> 00:58:16,050
We haven't met.
Hi. I'm Robert Barton.
1404
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,850
- Olga.
- Not Svetlana?
1405
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,820
Is made-up name
for the privacy.
1406
00:58:19,850 --> 00:58:22,090
Let's cut to it. Jimmy,
you're gonna pull out of this.
1407
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,220
- What? No way.
- What's goin' on?
1408
00:58:24,260 --> 00:58:25,830
Nothing, I...
1409
00:58:25,860 --> 00:58:27,030
He's in debt and
he's in troubles.
1410
00:58:27,060 --> 00:58:28,860
- Is this true?
- Kinda, yeah.
1411
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,800
Touching, but you're
gonna cost him the election.
1412
00:58:30,830 --> 00:58:32,870
Why didn't you come to me?
What were you thinking?
1413
00:58:32,900 --> 00:58:34,670
I'm an idiot. I don't know.
1414
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:36,240
Look, if you
want me to quit the show...
1415
00:58:36,270 --> 00:58:37,900
- We do.
- I can't!
1416
00:58:37,940 --> 00:58:39,970
- [Robert] Why not?
- Olga. I committed to her.
1417
00:58:40,010 --> 00:58:42,240
- What about Robert?
- I'll keep it really low key.
1418
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,810
No controversy, no strip bars.
1419
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:48,150
I promise. I'll even
skip your wedding.
1420
00:58:48,180 --> 00:58:50,220
- Not good enough.
- But in the end,
1421
00:58:50,250 --> 00:58:52,850
it's just a game show, right?
Where's the negative in that?
1422
00:58:52,890 --> 00:58:55,760
I'm not gonna bail on my
brother because of a game show.
1423
00:58:55,790 --> 00:58:57,590
- Bev, spin this.
- What?
1424
00:58:57,620 --> 00:59:00,260
Look, I'm a stiff.
I have no sense of humor.
1425
00:59:00,290 --> 00:59:02,060
Maybe that's why
my numbers are down.
1426
00:59:02,090 --> 00:59:04,500
Make this fun. Make me fun.
1427
00:59:04,530 --> 00:59:05,870
[imitates clown laugh]
1428
00:59:05,900 --> 00:59:08,070
- That's crazy.
- It is!
1429
00:59:08,100 --> 00:59:09,970
But won't it be fun?
1430
00:59:11,740 --> 00:59:13,670
[loud rock music playing]
1431
00:59:13,710 --> 00:59:15,910
[crowd cheering]
1432
00:59:21,950 --> 00:59:24,650
[guitar solo]
1433
00:59:42,030 --> 00:59:43,540
[solo continues]
1434
00:59:46,110 --> 00:59:48,180
[cheers and applause]
1435
00:59:49,980 --> 00:59:52,750
[Lenny] Thank you!
Thank you! Goodnight.
1436
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:56,780
[claps]
1437
00:59:56,820 --> 00:59:59,050
Yoni, she's killer, right?
1438
00:59:59,090 --> 01:00:01,320
Yeah, she takes over, you know?
1439
01:00:01,350 --> 01:00:02,890
[chuckles] Yeah, she does.
1440
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:13,670
[Lenny]
Like it.
1441
01:00:15,940 --> 01:00:18,140
- What's that?
- It's got your name on it.
1442
01:00:18,170 --> 01:00:19,610
It's our demo.
1443
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,110
- Oh, a demo?
- Mm-hmm.
1444
01:00:22,140 --> 01:00:24,210
Ah, Yoni wrote a song. So, we...
1445
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,050
So, we recorded it
with my band.
1446
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:27,780
Ah, you guys have a band?
1447
01:00:27,810 --> 01:00:29,050
- Yeah.
- No way.
1448
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,950
Ah, well, uh... Not really.
1449
01:00:31,980 --> 01:00:33,650
We just put together
a couple guys.
1450
01:00:34,950 --> 01:00:36,320
You-you put together
a couple guys
1451
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,020
and you didn't
tell me about it?
1452
01:00:38,060 --> 01:00:40,130
We wanted to go
in a different direction.
1453
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,760
Wait, are you...
Are you kidding me?
1454
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,860
Mack, chill. It's just a demo.
1455
01:00:44,900 --> 01:00:46,600
I am chill. But
if it's just a demo,
1456
01:00:46,630 --> 01:00:48,370
then why didn't you
tell me about it, Lenny?
1457
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,040
We didn't want you to be upset.
1458
01:00:50,070 --> 01:00:52,270
We? We, you two we, now?
1459
01:00:53,910 --> 01:00:55,070
What happened to our we?
1460
01:00:58,680 --> 01:00:59,980
You know what? Fine.
1461
01:01:00,010 --> 01:01:01,150
Fine.
1462
01:01:03,850 --> 01:01:07,650
We can go on jury duty now.
They accept anyone.
1463
01:01:07,690 --> 01:01:09,120
Well surely, that's good.
1464
01:01:09,150 --> 01:01:11,960
It's terrible.
I mean, "Hey, I'm blind".
1465
01:01:11,990 --> 01:01:13,660
That was always my best excuse.
1466
01:01:13,690 --> 01:01:14,930
[laughs]
1467
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:16,260
- [bangs]
- Ah! Ooh, God!
1468
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:17,930
Oh, my goodness.
Are you alright?
1469
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,830
Yeah, I think I've
cracked my knee cap.
1470
01:01:20,870 --> 01:01:23,070
Oh, dear, oh, God.
Welcome to my world.
1471
01:01:23,100 --> 01:01:25,000
Ah. Do you think
we could afford
1472
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:26,310
to have the lights on a bit?
1473
01:01:26,340 --> 01:01:28,310
Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Yes.
1474
01:01:28,340 --> 01:01:30,980
I don't use them very often,
1475
01:01:31,010 --> 01:01:33,310
- but there we go.
- Oh, yes.
1476
01:01:33,350 --> 01:01:36,380
Wow! You really look great.
1477
01:01:36,420 --> 01:01:37,920
[both laugh]
1478
01:01:37,950 --> 01:01:39,350
Ah, here's the problem.
1479
01:01:39,380 --> 01:01:42,790
Coffee table.
It should be more over here.
1480
01:01:42,820 --> 01:01:44,290
Thank you. No, no. Huh-uh.
1481
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:46,090
No, out of the traffic flow,
because...
1482
01:01:46,130 --> 01:01:48,030
No, actually,
it's quite good here.
1483
01:01:48,060 --> 01:01:50,060
Yeah. Well, I know
it's quite good here.
1484
01:01:50,100 --> 01:01:53,000
But I mean, it'd be
much better a bit over here.
1485
01:01:53,030 --> 01:01:55,000
- You know what might be fun?
- What?
1486
01:01:55,030 --> 01:01:57,670
Well, there's this OCD seminar
1487
01:01:57,700 --> 01:01:59,300
at the Convention Center
this weekend.
1488
01:01:59,340 --> 01:02:01,270
[laughs]
1489
01:02:01,310 --> 01:02:03,280
I know.
1490
01:02:03,310 --> 01:02:05,080
- See, I'm laughing.
- [Sara laughs]
1491
01:02:05,110 --> 01:02:06,810
- Am I cured?
- Far from it.
1492
01:02:06,850 --> 01:02:08,750
[mutters]
1493
01:02:08,780 --> 01:02:10,420
Are these your pictures?
1494
01:02:10,450 --> 01:02:14,090
Oh. [chuckles] Yes, yes.
1495
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:18,290
[Sara on recording]
It was early evening,
1496
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,790
I heard thunder, so,
I started to shoot the clouds,
1497
01:02:20,830 --> 01:02:24,230
but just then I heard
a frantic, shrill whistle.
1498
01:02:24,260 --> 01:02:26,300
I turned to shoot it,
1499
01:02:26,330 --> 01:02:28,840
it was a bicycle messenger
about to hit me.
1500
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,400
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
1501
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,070
And the one next to it
is actually after he hit me.
1502
01:02:33,110 --> 01:02:34,810
Oh, and he
doesn't look too happy.
1503
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:36,740
- [Sara] No.
- And this one?
1504
01:02:36,780 --> 01:02:38,980
[Sara on recording] Oh, yes,
the bus just missed me,
1505
01:02:39,010 --> 01:02:40,280
but it took out a fire hydrant.
1506
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,420
I never realized
that photography
1507
01:02:43,450 --> 01:02:45,020
was an extreme sport.
1508
01:02:45,050 --> 01:02:46,150
[Sara chuckles]
1509
01:02:46,190 --> 01:02:47,920
They're fantastic pictures.
1510
01:02:47,950 --> 01:02:49,460
You're very talented.
1511
01:02:49,490 --> 01:02:51,760
Thank you. Hmm.
1512
01:02:51,790 --> 01:02:53,330
Come here.
1513
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,730
Oh, you wanna kiss me?
1514
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,060
I do, in the worst way.
1515
01:02:58,100 --> 01:03:00,170
Well, I hope not.
1516
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:03,170
But let's see how it goes.
1517
01:03:06,110 --> 01:03:09,040
- Oh.
- Mm.
1518
01:03:09,070 --> 01:03:11,040
What? Are you nervous?
1519
01:03:12,110 --> 01:03:13,280
It's been a long time.
1520
01:03:15,980 --> 01:03:17,150
You're gay?
1521
01:03:17,180 --> 01:03:18,250
No, I'm not gay.
1522
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:19,790
Then, what?
1523
01:03:19,820 --> 01:03:22,490
It's just, I'm... I'm insecure.
1524
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:23,890
I haven't done this for...
1525
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,760
But how insecure?
1526
01:03:25,790 --> 01:03:27,760
- Very insecure.
- Oh.
1527
01:03:27,790 --> 01:03:30,400
- [Lawrence] Mm.
- Oh.
1528
01:03:34,300 --> 01:03:36,270
Oh. Ah.
1529
01:03:36,300 --> 01:03:37,500
[laughs gently]
1530
01:03:37,540 --> 01:03:39,270
Oh, Larry.
1531
01:03:39,300 --> 01:03:41,910
Nobody ever calls me Larry.
1532
01:03:41,940 --> 01:03:43,110
I do.
1533
01:03:46,010 --> 01:03:47,380
- Mmm.
- Yes.
1534
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,120
Mmm.
1535
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,150
What you doing?
1536
01:03:54,190 --> 01:03:55,990
I'm learning your body.
1537
01:03:56,020 --> 01:03:57,460
Oh, God.
1538
01:03:57,490 --> 01:04:01,130
I promise you, I'll start
working out tomorrow.
1539
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,130
Yeah. Start now.
1540
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:04,400
Start now.
1541
01:04:04,430 --> 01:04:05,530
[Sara laughs]
1542
01:04:08,870 --> 01:04:10,500
Yeah. Your ex
sounds incredibly flaky,
1543
01:04:10,540 --> 01:04:13,070
how terrible for you. But
listen to me very carefully,
1544
01:04:13,110 --> 01:04:14,570
I don't give a shit.
1545
01:04:14,610 --> 01:04:16,880
You were supposed to
be here at four yesterday.
1546
01:04:16,910 --> 01:04:18,950
I waited until seven,
you didn't show.
1547
01:04:18,980 --> 01:04:20,510
[man on phone]
You're harshing my vibe.
1548
01:04:20,550 --> 01:04:22,510
No dude, you're
harshing my vibe.
1549
01:04:22,550 --> 01:04:25,220
I'm about to hang up and call
my caterer, Lawrence Phillips.
1550
01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:26,350
Yeah, that...
1551
01:04:26,380 --> 01:04:27,890
Ah, dammit!
1552
01:04:29,460 --> 01:04:31,590
Hello? Just...
1553
01:04:31,620 --> 01:04:33,960
get here before 8:00 AM, okay?
1554
01:04:33,990 --> 01:04:36,960
You win. Get here at 8:00 AM
and one second, you lose.
1555
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,200
- Okay? Thank you.
- [Mack] You need some help?
1556
01:04:39,230 --> 01:04:40,600
Hi-ya!
1557
01:04:40,630 --> 01:04:43,240
- [groaning]
- Oh, my God!
1558
01:04:43,270 --> 01:04:45,540
Oh, my God, Mack,
I am so sorry! I...
1559
01:04:45,570 --> 01:04:47,510
- Are you okay? I...
- I'm sorry I scared you.
1560
01:04:47,540 --> 01:04:50,080
I'm sorry I maimed you.
Are you okay?
1561
01:04:50,110 --> 01:04:52,550
You're tough. I feel bad
for the guy on the phone.
1562
01:04:52,580 --> 01:04:54,850
No, don't.
It's a seated dinner.
1563
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:57,050
It's a little difficult to do
without chairs.
1564
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:58,480
Had to elevate
the threat level.
1565
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,150
I just didn't think
somebody would be
1566
01:05:00,190 --> 01:05:01,890
eavesdropping at 6:00 AM.
1567
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:03,920
No, I got here at four.
Slept in the car.
1568
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:05,260
Why?
1569
01:05:05,290 --> 01:05:07,260
Rough night.
Got into some weirdness
1570
01:05:07,290 --> 01:05:09,190
and... Ah, nothin'.
1571
01:05:09,230 --> 01:05:11,030
I wanted to see you.
1572
01:05:11,060 --> 01:05:14,230
But not in a stalking way.
1573
01:05:14,270 --> 01:05:16,030
Lying in wait and
creeping up behind me
1574
01:05:16,070 --> 01:05:17,970
is really the classic
definition of stalker.
1575
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,010
I had the crazy thought
I could come in,
1576
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,110
and sweep you off your feet,
but you swept me off mine
1577
01:05:23,140 --> 01:05:25,080
So, you owe me breakfast.
1578
01:05:25,110 --> 01:05:27,880
[chuckles]
I mean, oh, okay. I...
1579
01:05:27,910 --> 01:05:31,520
My day is insane
and just got more insane,
1580
01:05:31,550 --> 01:05:34,890
But yeah. Look,
give me a second,
1581
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:37,490
and I could definitely
use a refill.
1582
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:38,620
Ah.
1583
01:05:40,190 --> 01:05:41,290
Larry?
1584
01:05:42,500 --> 01:05:43,560
Larry?
1585
01:05:46,260 --> 01:05:47,330
Ah.
1586
01:05:47,370 --> 01:05:48,670
What...
1587
01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:50,600
A note?
1588
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:52,440
Oh, God.
1589
01:05:52,470 --> 01:05:56,010
I have fallen in love with
the dumbest man in history.
1590
01:05:58,140 --> 01:05:59,110
[sighs]
1591
01:06:00,180 --> 01:06:01,450
- [thunks]
- Ah!
1592
01:06:03,250 --> 01:06:05,420
Oh! Shit!
1593
01:06:05,450 --> 01:06:06,690
Oh.
1594
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:08,990
Okay, that barista
was so judgy.
1595
01:06:09,020 --> 01:06:11,590
She was like, "Is this your
second red-eye in 15 minutes?"
1596
01:06:11,620 --> 01:06:13,390
It's like, "Oh,
are you keeping score
1597
01:06:13,430 --> 01:06:16,460
- on my caffeine intake?"
- Mm. Who cares?
1598
01:06:18,230 --> 01:06:20,100
- Oh!
- Mm! So close.
1599
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:27,640
- Here, gimme.
- Hold this. Okay.
1600
01:06:27,670 --> 01:06:28,980
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, yeah.
1601
01:06:29,010 --> 01:06:30,340
Going for the big...
1602
01:06:30,380 --> 01:06:31,980
You're taking this
very seriously.
1603
01:06:32,010 --> 01:06:33,510
- Oh!
- Yes!
1604
01:06:33,550 --> 01:06:35,950
- Wow. Nice shot.
- Here, it's easy.
1605
01:06:37,450 --> 01:06:39,220
- Try again.
- No, thanks.
1606
01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:41,450
- No?
- I suck at basketball
1607
01:06:41,490 --> 01:06:44,020
and plastic bottle
into the trash-ket ball.
1608
01:06:44,060 --> 01:06:46,360
I'm just a musician and
I'm fine with it, you know?
1609
01:06:46,390 --> 01:06:48,090
I don't have to
make the winning shot
1610
01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:49,230
at the buzzer every time.
1611
01:06:49,260 --> 01:06:51,260
I do. Every time.
1612
01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:54,300
With everything.
1613
01:06:54,330 --> 01:06:55,500
Everything's a lot.
1614
01:06:55,530 --> 01:06:57,640
Yeah, it's a lot.
1615
01:06:57,670 --> 01:07:00,570
Mm. How many of those ones
do you remember?
1616
01:07:00,610 --> 01:07:03,610
Hmm, definitely
the ones from middle school.
1617
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:05,980
[both chuckle]
1618
01:07:06,010 --> 01:07:07,150
Lately, just enough.
1619
01:07:08,650 --> 01:07:11,220
Why don't you just
float on some of them
1620
01:07:11,250 --> 01:07:14,020
and just save your beautiful
energy for the big ones?
1621
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:17,420
[quiet laugh]
1622
01:07:17,460 --> 01:07:19,020
Who are you?
1623
01:07:19,060 --> 01:07:20,430
What?
1624
01:07:20,460 --> 01:07:23,430
How do you... know me?
1625
01:07:23,460 --> 01:07:27,100
I don't know you,
but I'd like to.
1626
01:07:29,470 --> 01:07:31,040
So,
1627
01:07:31,070 --> 01:07:32,970
I'm just coming off of
1628
01:07:34,470 --> 01:07:38,410
what I thought was me
getting dumped, again.
1629
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,080
But, actually, I was more
the dumper than the dumpee.
1630
01:07:41,110 --> 01:07:42,450
[chuckles]
1631
01:07:44,580 --> 01:07:48,090
But I think I should
take a little time
1632
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:51,160
to chill and figure out
the difference between
1633
01:07:52,630 --> 01:07:54,090
losing to someone
1634
01:07:55,460 --> 01:07:56,660
and losing them.
1635
01:08:01,470 --> 01:08:04,070
- Well, good luck with that.
- [laughs]
1636
01:08:04,100 --> 01:08:05,640
I'll be watching you
from my car.
1637
01:08:05,670 --> 01:08:07,670
- If you need anything.
- Oh, great!
1638
01:08:07,710 --> 01:08:10,240
[both laugh]
1639
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,610
I have to go grab my guy,
the table and chair rental guy.
1640
01:08:13,650 --> 01:08:15,050
- Oh, yeah. You go.
- So.
1641
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:16,620
- You go do that.
- Okay.
1642
01:08:16,650 --> 01:08:19,550
I'll... see you soon.
1643
01:08:19,590 --> 01:08:21,190
[Mack]
It was fun.
1644
01:08:21,220 --> 01:08:22,460
See you later.
1645
01:08:25,090 --> 01:08:27,730
[sighs] Are these
the ones they delivered?
1646
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:29,400
- Yes.
- Well, I'm not sure
1647
01:08:29,430 --> 01:08:31,300
- they're gonna do a lot of...
- [dog barks]
1648
01:08:33,730 --> 01:08:35,100
Sara.
1649
01:08:35,130 --> 01:08:37,270
Give me a moment, will you?
1650
01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:38,670
This is a surprise!
1651
01:08:38,700 --> 01:08:41,840
Oh. Oh, I just came by
1652
01:08:41,870 --> 01:08:44,580
so you could read this to me.
1653
01:08:44,610 --> 01:08:48,850
Oh, my God! I left you a note.
I'm so silly.
1654
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:50,820
Make sure you
give it back to me, though,
1655
01:08:50,850 --> 01:08:53,120
because I do
wanna get it framed.
1656
01:08:53,150 --> 01:08:54,590
So, read it. Read it, please.
1657
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:59,430
[quietly]
"Good morning, sweetheart.
1658
01:08:59,460 --> 01:09:03,130
I had to go to work, but I
can't wait to see you later.
1659
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:05,630
Kisses,
1660
01:09:05,660 --> 01:09:07,270
Larry."
1661
01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:09,670
Nothing about,
"I changed all the furniture
1662
01:09:09,700 --> 01:09:12,370
in your apartment.
So, do be careful.
1663
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:13,870
You could get killed"?
1664
01:09:13,910 --> 01:09:15,740
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, yeah?
1665
01:09:15,770 --> 01:09:18,340
Why didn't you just
move the bed next to the window
1666
01:09:18,380 --> 01:09:21,150
so I could plunge to my death
without getting up?
1667
01:09:21,180 --> 01:09:23,450
I just want to make
everything perfect for you.
1668
01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:25,690
Your perfect is just fine.
1669
01:09:25,720 --> 01:09:27,390
But it isn't gonna save me.
1670
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:31,160
And obviously, you are
too blind to see that.
1671
01:09:31,190 --> 01:09:34,630
Here, Teddy. Let's go, Teddy.
Up, good boy.
1672
01:09:34,660 --> 01:09:36,760
We don't wanna
bang into anything else.
1673
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:39,270
I've only got one neck,
after all.
1674
01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:40,430
Good, Teddy.
1675
01:09:40,470 --> 01:09:43,470
Uh... Uh... [sighs]
1676
01:09:43,500 --> 01:09:46,740
♪ I leapt ♪
1677
01:09:46,770 --> 01:09:49,270
♪ Before I looked ♪
1678
01:09:51,310 --> 01:09:54,850
♪ I never learned ♪
1679
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:58,250
♪ And now I'm cooked ♪
1680
01:09:59,890 --> 01:10:03,490
♪ Shoulda had a plan ♪
1681
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,190
♪ Shoulda up and ran ♪
1682
01:10:06,220 --> 01:10:08,590
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1683
01:10:08,630 --> 01:10:12,460
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1684
01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:18,300
♪ What the hell? ♪
1685
01:10:18,340 --> 01:10:21,410
♪ And what the heck? ♪
1686
01:10:21,440 --> 01:10:25,580
♪ Seems I can't find love ♪
1687
01:10:25,610 --> 01:10:29,520
♪ Without risking your neck ♪
1688
01:10:31,250 --> 01:10:34,220
♪ Probably should have known ♪
1689
01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:37,320
♪ Now I'm all alone ♪
1690
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:39,790
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1691
01:10:39,820 --> 01:10:43,600
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1692
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,400
♪ 'Cause I got the break-up ♪
1693
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:52,340
♪ I got the break-up, oh ♪
1694
01:10:52,370 --> 01:10:54,840
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1695
01:10:56,270 --> 01:10:58,710
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1696
01:11:00,410 --> 01:11:03,350
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1697
01:11:03,380 --> 01:11:08,490
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1698
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:12,220
[keypad beeping]
1699
01:11:12,260 --> 01:11:14,330
[ringing]
1700
01:11:18,500 --> 01:11:20,370
Yes? Yes?
1701
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:21,630
[Lawrence]
It's me.
1702
01:11:21,670 --> 01:11:22,770
Who?
1703
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:23,840
[Lawrence]
Larry.
1704
01:11:25,370 --> 01:11:26,710
I really...
I don't know a Larry.
1705
01:11:26,740 --> 01:11:28,440
[Lawrence]
Lawrence.
1706
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:31,480
Uh-huh. Oh.
1707
01:11:31,510 --> 01:11:32,780
[Lawrence]
Can I come up?
1708
01:11:32,810 --> 01:11:33,910
Well...
1709
01:11:35,580 --> 01:11:36,580
Certainly.
1710
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:43,490
Um...
1711
01:11:44,790 --> 01:11:46,830
- I'm sorry.
- [scoffs]
1712
01:11:46,860 --> 01:11:49,890
I've messed up before and
I'll probably mess up again,
1713
01:11:49,930 --> 01:11:52,470
but look, don't give up on me.
1714
01:11:52,500 --> 01:11:53,900
Okay.
1715
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:58,800
- I got you this.
- Ah?
1716
01:11:58,840 --> 01:11:59,940
Here.
1717
01:12:02,710 --> 01:12:03,680
Okay.
1718
01:12:10,650 --> 01:12:11,880
Hmm?
1719
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:12,950
Oh.
1720
01:12:14,420 --> 01:12:16,060
Is this a scarf?
1721
01:12:16,090 --> 01:12:17,560
It's a blindfold.
1722
01:12:17,590 --> 01:12:19,520
- Ah?
- For me.
1723
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:20,530
[clicks tongue]
1724
01:12:21,590 --> 01:12:22,960
Open my eyes.
1725
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:24,760
Let me see what you see.
1726
01:12:29,870 --> 01:12:31,040
[Sara]
Now, we go out...
1727
01:12:35,540 --> 01:12:36,570
Good.
1728
01:12:36,610 --> 01:12:38,410
[Lawrence]
Wait, wait, wait.
1729
01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:41,080
No, I don't... Oh, yes, I do.
One, two, three, four.
1730
01:12:41,110 --> 01:12:42,850
- Right. Yes!
- Now, follow it over.
1731
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:45,620
- Ah! What's that?
- [laughs]
1732
01:12:45,650 --> 01:12:47,650
- No, smell it.
- Oh.
1733
01:12:58,700 --> 01:12:59,970
- [horns honk]
- [Sara] Oh! Okay.
1734
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,500
- Okay, can I go home now?
- Yes.
1735
01:13:01,530 --> 01:13:03,070
Of course. Yes, here.
1736
01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:05,740
[horns honking]
1737
01:13:07,070 --> 01:13:08,840
No, no. Here.
1738
01:13:10,810 --> 01:13:12,080
All right, all right.
1739
01:13:12,110 --> 01:13:14,450
Feel to your right
for the railing.
1740
01:13:14,480 --> 01:13:16,050
- The rail... Oh, wait...
- Ah. Don't you go!
1741
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,680
- Ah! No, wait! Oh, God!
- Don't let go!
1742
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:20,920
- Lawrence... Oh!
- Wait, wait, wait!
1743
01:13:20,950 --> 01:13:22,650
[Sara]
What... Are you okay?
1744
01:13:22,690 --> 01:13:25,520
- What?
- I can't, I can't, I can't!
1745
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:27,960
Larry, oh, my God!
Larry! Are you okay?
1746
01:13:27,990 --> 01:13:30,660
- Larry, Larry, don't sit.
- [Lawrence grunting]
1747
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,930
- Oh!
- Are you all right?
1748
01:13:33,970 --> 01:13:35,970
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- Okay.
1749
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,800
I'm here. I'm waiting.
1750
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:39,940
- I'm at... I don't know.
- [Lawrence] Oh! Oh!
1751
01:13:39,970 --> 01:13:41,610
Okay, I'm here to help.
1752
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:43,080
Are you all right?
Ah! Oh, my God!
1753
01:13:43,110 --> 01:13:45,640
No, no. No, don't...
1754
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:47,580
Well, that was a piece of cake.
1755
01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:51,150
Okay, well, home at last.
How do you feel?
1756
01:13:51,180 --> 01:13:52,750
Exhausted.
1757
01:13:52,780 --> 01:13:54,750
But thrilling.
1758
01:13:54,790 --> 01:13:56,520
- I mean, I had no inkling
- Yeah.
1759
01:13:56,560 --> 01:13:58,160
- of what you went through.
- Oh, well...
1760
01:13:58,190 --> 01:14:00,930
But I think I'm
pretty good at this now.
1761
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:02,730
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh, my God! Oh!
1762
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:05,560
- Ooh.
- Uh, oh. Oh, dear.
1763
01:14:06,930 --> 01:14:08,430
[guitar music playing]
1764
01:14:12,070 --> 01:14:14,870
♪ Turns out we can't be ♪
1765
01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:16,980
♪ Perfect in love ♪
1766
01:14:18,580 --> 01:14:20,150
♪ 'Cause love ain't perfect ♪
1767
01:14:20,180 --> 01:14:22,110
♪ No, not at all ♪
1768
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:26,720
♪ Ain't no secret
Love ain't pure ♪
1769
01:14:26,750 --> 01:14:29,550
♪ Don't wanna miss it
That's for sure ♪
1770
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:32,060
♪ The other version
Of this song ♪
1771
01:14:32,090 --> 01:14:34,130
♪ Turned out all wrong ♪
1772
01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:36,960
- [cheers and applause]
- ♪ If you don't claim love ♪
1773
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:39,770
♪ The blame is on us ♪
1774
01:14:39,800 --> 01:14:40,900
Come on!
1775
01:14:40,930 --> 01:14:42,870
♪ We fell in love ♪
1776
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:45,900
♪ We love the fuss ♪
1777
01:14:47,610 --> 01:14:52,180
♪ Jump together under the bus ♪
1778
01:14:52,210 --> 01:14:55,550
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1779
01:14:55,580 --> 01:14:57,080
♪ Blame us ♪
1780
01:14:59,750 --> 01:15:04,460
♪ If love is crazy
Sign me up ♪
1781
01:15:04,490 --> 01:15:05,820
[Lawrence]
Oop!
1782
01:15:05,860 --> 01:15:09,030
♪ Check me in and lock me up ♪
1783
01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:13,670
- Oh! Ooh!
- ♪ If love is blind ♪
1784
01:15:13,700 --> 01:15:15,770
- Oh-ho. Mmm!
- ♪ Then take my sight ♪
1785
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,470
- [laughs]
- Mm! Mm!
1786
01:15:17,500 --> 01:15:19,100
- Is that good?
- ♪ If love is tough ♪
1787
01:15:19,140 --> 01:15:23,070
♪ Let's dance all night! ♪
1788
01:15:23,110 --> 01:15:25,910
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1789
01:15:25,940 --> 01:15:28,180
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1790
01:15:29,750 --> 01:15:32,590
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1791
01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:34,450
♪ The blame is on us ♪
1792
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:38,060
[crowd cheers and applauds]
1793
01:15:39,260 --> 01:15:40,960
[Bev]
Oh. Just keep going.
1794
01:15:40,990 --> 01:15:42,190
No, stop.
1795
01:15:42,230 --> 01:15:44,100
I was kidding. Joke
1796
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:49,530
- [Jimmy] Hey.
- Hey!
1797
01:15:49,570 --> 01:15:50,800
This is Zhopa.
1798
01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:52,870
Very nice meeting you,
Mr. Mayor.
1799
01:15:52,900 --> 01:15:54,670
Oh, well, I'm not mayor yet.
1800
01:15:54,710 --> 01:15:58,110
An election?
We could fixing that.
1801
01:15:58,140 --> 01:15:59,650
Thanks, I think we're good.
1802
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,850
- This Menny.
- Manny!
1803
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:03,220
- Menny.
- Menny.
1804
01:16:03,250 --> 01:16:05,520
- This Ivan.
- Ivan!
1805
01:16:05,550 --> 01:16:06,680
Ivan!
1806
01:16:06,720 --> 01:16:08,150
Great. Nice to meet you all.
1807
01:16:08,190 --> 01:16:09,990
We are late
and we are leaving.
1808
01:16:13,060 --> 01:16:14,060
After you.
1809
01:16:19,330 --> 01:16:20,630
[string quartet playing]
1810
01:16:28,740 --> 01:16:31,810
- [horns honking]
- [sirens blare in distance]
1811
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:33,580
What the heck is this?
1812
01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:35,950
Ah, come on!
1813
01:16:37,580 --> 01:16:38,720
This is bad.
1814
01:16:38,750 --> 01:16:40,750
This is not good.
1815
01:16:42,350 --> 01:16:45,720
Okay. One of the perks
about duck boating is this.
1816
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:46,990
Victor, show 'em.
1817
01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:49,330
Hey, Prius, move it!
1818
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,760
Drive it all the way forward.
Thank you so much!
1819
01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:53,600
Trying to meet
the love of my life,
1820
01:16:53,630 --> 01:16:55,570
no big deal. Very big deal.
Go! Go! Go!
1821
01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:58,070
Come on! There you go!
1822
01:16:59,740 --> 01:17:00,910
That wasn't so hard.
1823
01:17:00,940 --> 01:17:02,240
We're dead.
1824
01:17:03,310 --> 01:17:05,580
No, we're not.
1825
01:17:14,950 --> 01:17:15,920
[Robert]
Hey!
1826
01:17:16,990 --> 01:17:19,690
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1827
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:21,030
Hey! Hey!
1828
01:17:21,060 --> 01:17:23,000
Hey, I'm Robert Barton.
1829
01:17:23,030 --> 01:17:24,330
I'm running for mayor.
1830
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:26,000
[chuckles] Oh, that's weird,
1831
01:17:26,030 --> 01:17:27,330
'cause you
actually are running.
1832
01:17:27,370 --> 01:17:29,230
You have my vote, thank you.
1833
01:17:29,270 --> 01:17:31,870
But now I'm running late,
so, I got to go. All right?
1834
01:17:31,900 --> 01:17:33,740
No-no-no-no-no-no.
Wait, wait, wait!
1835
01:17:33,770 --> 01:17:35,840
- Stop, stop, stop!
- [brakes squeal]
1836
01:17:35,870 --> 01:17:37,340
You can't go! I'm late!
1837
01:17:37,380 --> 01:17:40,650
- [Ritchie] For what?
- I'm getting married!
1838
01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:42,050
I'm meeting my true love.
1839
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:44,120
- We'll go with you.
- What?
1840
01:17:44,150 --> 01:17:46,750
[panting] This is
the Cinderella guy.
1841
01:17:46,780 --> 01:17:48,290
That's TV press up there.
1842
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:50,260
With this boat,
we've got just enough time
1843
01:17:50,290 --> 01:17:52,760
to go pick up his woman,
then over to your wedding,
1844
01:17:52,790 --> 01:17:55,330
and you become the
romance king of Boston.
1845
01:17:55,360 --> 01:17:58,330
You wanna stop being a stiff?
Here's your chance.
1846
01:18:00,700 --> 01:18:02,030
We're gonna go with you!
1847
01:18:02,070 --> 01:18:04,040
Great! Welcome aboard!
Let's go!
1848
01:18:04,070 --> 01:18:06,000
Let down the ladder.
Victor, punch it!
1849
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:09,070
Yes, let's go!
1850
01:18:09,110 --> 01:18:10,840
I love helping strangers!
1851
01:18:13,410 --> 01:18:14,950
All aboard, life vests on.
1852
01:18:14,980 --> 01:18:16,710
Who knows
if this thing still floats?
1853
01:18:16,750 --> 01:18:18,380
I mean, it should.
It's FDA approved.
1854
01:18:18,420 --> 01:18:19,820
Whatever that means.
1855
01:18:19,850 --> 01:18:21,850
We're heading out to sea,
hang on.
1856
01:18:21,890 --> 01:18:23,260
I hope you can swim.
[chuckles]
1857
01:18:23,290 --> 01:18:24,990
I am not lifeguard certified.
1858
01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:29,760
[Mack]
Yeah.
1859
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:30,930
[crystal clinking]
1860
01:18:30,960 --> 01:18:32,160
- Put this over here?
- Yep.
1861
01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:33,360
[Jessie]
Hey.
1862
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:34,870
- Hey!
- How's it goin'?
1863
01:18:34,900 --> 01:18:36,370
You look amazingly calm.
1864
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:38,440
Amazingly everything's
going like clockwork, so.
1865
01:18:38,470 --> 01:18:40,970
- No glitches?
- Nope. I'm a pro.
1866
01:18:41,010 --> 01:18:42,780
Been at this
a whole eight days.
1867
01:18:42,810 --> 01:18:44,380
I'm not surprised at all.
1868
01:18:44,410 --> 01:18:47,010
So, you maybe
doin' some thinking?
1869
01:18:50,850 --> 01:18:53,890
Yeah, I've been doing that.
Yep.
1870
01:18:53,920 --> 01:18:55,920
And how am I doin'?
1871
01:18:55,950 --> 01:18:57,360
Um...
1872
01:18:58,960 --> 01:19:00,190
Pretty good.
1873
01:19:00,220 --> 01:19:02,760
Aw, just pretty good?
Come on.
1874
01:19:02,790 --> 01:19:05,360
- [laughs]
- [cell phone rings]
1875
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:08,170
Bev?
1876
01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:11,070
Wait... What?
1877
01:19:11,100 --> 01:19:12,470
A duck boat?
1878
01:19:12,500 --> 01:19:14,440
Are you crazy?
You would never make it.
1879
01:19:15,770 --> 01:19:16,740
Bev?
1880
01:19:18,440 --> 01:19:19,810
Dammit!
1881
01:19:19,850 --> 01:19:21,350
- Glitch?
- Huge glitch.
1882
01:19:21,380 --> 01:19:23,380
Planning a wedding that
might not have a groom.
1883
01:19:23,420 --> 01:19:24,820
[cell phone dings]
1884
01:19:24,850 --> 01:19:27,090
- Son of a bitch!
- [Jessie] What?
1885
01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:29,290
Lenny quit. I can't believe it!
1886
01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:30,960
- You're kidding, right?
- [Mack] No.
1887
01:19:30,990 --> 01:19:33,130
But I'll just call
some people, okay?
1888
01:19:33,160 --> 01:19:35,030
- And I'll fix...
- Not kidding.
1889
01:19:35,060 --> 01:19:36,030
Son of a...
1890
01:19:37,330 --> 01:19:39,130
[Jordan]
♪ If love is tough ♪
1891
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:42,230
♪ Let's dance all night ♪
1892
01:19:42,270 --> 01:19:43,870
♪ Don't blame love... ♪
1893
01:19:43,900 --> 01:19:45,740
Sorry, could I talk to you
for one second?
1894
01:19:45,770 --> 01:19:47,440
Hi, I'm kind of in
the middle of somethin' here.
1895
01:19:47,470 --> 01:19:49,880
I understand. I'm so sorry,
just one second.
1896
01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:53,040
I come by here every day.
I love you, you're great.
1897
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,350
Can you be in a band?
1898
01:19:54,380 --> 01:19:56,150
- Oh, I don't...
- Like, right now.
1899
01:19:56,180 --> 01:20:00,150
Sorry, what I meant to say
was, right now, please,
1900
01:20:00,180 --> 01:20:02,150
because two minutes ago,
across the street,
1901
01:20:02,190 --> 01:20:04,360
at my wedding...
Not my wedding...
1902
01:20:04,390 --> 01:20:07,330
But anyway,
half of our band just quit.
1903
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:11,460
So, you could be
the new other half, and...
1904
01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:15,500
Just please, help me out.
1905
01:20:15,530 --> 01:20:17,070
I really can't
let this couple down.
1906
01:20:17,100 --> 01:20:20,070
It just has to be their
perfect day.
1907
01:20:20,100 --> 01:20:22,010
And I will carry your stuff...
1908
01:20:22,040 --> 01:20:24,040
I don't play in bands,
I work alone.
1909
01:20:24,070 --> 01:20:26,850
I get that. [exhales]
1910
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:30,320
I know I sound crazy.
I'm just desperate.
1911
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:33,420
He comes, too.
1912
01:20:36,290 --> 01:20:37,290
I thought you only work alone?
1913
01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:39,020
I was wrong.
1914
01:20:39,060 --> 01:20:40,220
What's his name?
1915
01:20:40,260 --> 01:20:41,560
I don't know.
1916
01:20:41,590 --> 01:20:44,200
Mister Guitar Man,
1917
01:20:44,230 --> 01:20:46,060
would you care to join...
1918
01:20:46,100 --> 01:20:49,370
- Jordan.
- Jordan, in our new band?
1919
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:52,900
- Happy to. Yeah.
- Amazing! Okay!
1920
01:20:56,040 --> 01:20:57,380
[saxophone playing]
1921
01:21:01,450 --> 01:21:04,280
Where're you off to?
A gig? Need brass?
1922
01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:05,920
[Jessie]
Oh, definitely.
1923
01:21:07,050 --> 01:21:08,950
Can I join the parade?
1924
01:21:08,990 --> 01:21:10,120
Why not?
1925
01:21:20,930 --> 01:21:22,970
It's exactly five o'clock,
and I'm here live
1926
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,540
with our own Prince Charming
1927
01:21:24,570 --> 01:21:26,400
who's hoping to find
Cinderella waiting for him
1928
01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:28,040
right here in the park.
1929
01:21:28,070 --> 01:21:30,540
Romance is alive and well,
and even though
1930
01:21:30,570 --> 01:21:32,850
his own wedding is
scheduled at six pm tonight,
1931
01:21:32,880 --> 01:21:34,910
Robert Barton came here
to be part of this.
1932
01:21:34,950 --> 01:21:37,380
This is what makes Boston
the greatest city in the world
1933
01:21:37,420 --> 01:21:39,220
- and I just couldn't keep...
- Let's do this.
1934
01:21:39,250 --> 01:21:41,150
- We're doing this.
- Stay tuned.
1935
01:21:49,890 --> 01:21:51,060
There he is!
1936
01:21:51,100 --> 01:21:53,200
- [ladies screaming]
- Oh!
1937
01:21:53,230 --> 01:21:54,900
Hey.
1938
01:21:56,530 --> 01:21:58,140
Is she here?
1939
01:21:58,170 --> 01:21:59,370
Who's to know? It's so crazy.
1940
01:22:01,040 --> 01:22:03,880
Everybody shutting up!
1941
01:22:03,910 --> 01:22:06,480
Thank you.
Now, lining up
1942
01:22:06,510 --> 01:22:09,450
so that Mr. Ritchie
can finding his girlfriend.
1943
01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:13,050
Huh? Lining up, lining up.
Go, go, go!
1944
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:15,220
What would we do
without the mafia? Thank you!
1945
01:22:15,250 --> 01:22:16,590
- Thank you very much.
- Okay.
1946
01:22:16,620 --> 01:22:19,360
- Um, hi.
- [woman] Hi.
1947
01:22:19,390 --> 01:22:21,590
How are you? Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
1948
01:22:21,630 --> 01:22:23,430
- I love that. It's amazing.
- Hi!
1949
01:22:23,460 --> 01:22:25,630
All right.
[laughs] Sorry, pal.
1950
01:22:25,660 --> 01:22:28,030
Actually, no,
let me get a selfie.
1951
01:22:28,070 --> 01:22:29,900
My mom's never
going to believe this.
1952
01:22:29,930 --> 01:22:32,100
Mark Wahlberg
tried to win my heart.
1953
01:22:32,140 --> 01:22:33,300
- [shutter clicks]
- Bam!
1954
01:22:33,340 --> 01:22:34,570
Thank you so much for comin'.
1955
01:22:34,610 --> 01:22:36,440
Thank you. All right.
1956
01:22:36,470 --> 01:22:38,510
You're married, you shouldn't
be here. Go home.
1957
01:22:38,540 --> 01:22:40,510
Hey. On the six-pack,
I love it.
1958
01:22:40,550 --> 01:22:43,420
Ah! You're about to
faint for me. Okay, girl.
1959
01:22:43,450 --> 01:22:46,290
On the leg, no-no, it's
supposed to be on the neck.
1960
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:47,690
Yeah, it's okay.
1961
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:49,220
Hey, how are you guys?
1962
01:22:49,250 --> 01:22:51,390
Oh. That looks real.
1963
01:22:51,420 --> 01:22:53,990
Oh, on your wrist.
[chuckles] Okay.
1964
01:22:54,020 --> 01:22:55,130
Cool.
1965
01:23:00,030 --> 01:23:01,000
Hey.
1966
01:23:07,540 --> 01:23:08,610
She's not here.
1967
01:23:19,620 --> 01:23:21,290
Ladies, you are all wonderful.
1968
01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:23,090
If it were legal,
I'd set up a cult,
1969
01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:24,660
and I'd marry every one of you.
1970
01:23:24,690 --> 01:23:26,990
- I'll join!
- [women] Me, too! Yeah!
1971
01:23:29,060 --> 01:23:31,100
Unfortunately,
we are late for a wedding.
1972
01:23:31,130 --> 01:23:32,560
And there's only one person
1973
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,400
that can get us
to the church on time.
1974
01:23:34,430 --> 01:23:36,500
Me, Captain Ritchie.
So, I have to go.
1975
01:23:36,530 --> 01:23:37,700
Let's go, let's go!
1976
01:23:37,740 --> 01:23:40,040
[women]
Bye!
1977
01:23:40,070 --> 01:23:41,440
Bye!
1978
01:23:47,180 --> 01:23:48,750
Okay. Well,
tell him to floor it.
1979
01:23:48,780 --> 01:23:49,980
[door opens]
1980
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:52,150
[horse nickers]
1981
01:23:52,180 --> 01:23:53,750
- Oh, my God!
- Ta-da!
1982
01:23:53,780 --> 01:23:56,020
Look at you!
You look like a dream!
1983
01:23:56,050 --> 01:23:58,720
- Jessie! This is amazing!
- Watch the stairs.
1984
01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:01,630
Oh, surprise.
Yeah, zero emissions.
1985
01:24:02,560 --> 01:24:04,130
Well, kinda.
1986
01:24:04,160 --> 01:24:06,060
- [laughs] Close enough.
- More or less.
1987
01:24:06,100 --> 01:24:07,570
Okay. Here we go. Hop on.
1988
01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:09,070
Whoo-hoo!
1989
01:24:10,230 --> 01:24:12,100
[gasps]
Jessie, this is awesome!
1990
01:24:12,140 --> 01:24:15,110
You have truly
created the perfect day.
1991
01:24:15,140 --> 01:24:17,440
Good. Okay, ready?
1992
01:24:17,470 --> 01:24:19,310
- Let's get you married.
- Let's do it.
1993
01:24:19,340 --> 01:24:20,680
All right, we're ready.
1994
01:24:20,710 --> 01:24:22,550
- [cracks reigns]
- Come on. Get up.
1995
01:24:22,580 --> 01:24:24,450
- How're you feeling?
- Feeling good. Yeah.
1996
01:24:24,480 --> 01:24:26,020
- [fabric rips]
- Ah!
1997
01:24:26,050 --> 01:24:27,320
- [horse whinnies]
- Oh, my God!
1998
01:24:27,350 --> 01:24:28,620
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I guess.
1999
01:24:28,650 --> 01:24:29,620
I mean, what happened?
2000
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,060
- Uh, wow.
- Is... What?
2001
01:24:33,090 --> 01:24:36,190
Your train is wrapped around
the wheel spoke.
2002
01:24:36,230 --> 01:24:38,330
- You got it?
- No. It's stuck.
2003
01:24:38,360 --> 01:24:40,500
You know what? Sir,
can you back up a little bit
2004
01:24:40,530 --> 01:24:42,270
and just see if
we can get it to unwind?
2005
01:24:42,300 --> 01:24:45,140
Stuck. She won't move.
Can't go forward or back.
2006
01:24:45,170 --> 01:24:47,170
- This is a disaster.
- [Jessie] One second.
2007
01:24:47,210 --> 01:24:49,510
- Hey, you guys. Need some help?
- Hi.
2008
01:24:49,540 --> 01:24:51,210
I don't know. Jessie, do you...
2009
01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:53,480
[laughs]
2010
01:24:53,510 --> 01:24:55,680
The wedding trasher
strikes again.
2011
01:24:55,710 --> 01:24:57,420
Hey! That girl is my friend.
2012
01:24:57,450 --> 01:24:59,220
Okay, you don't talk to
my friend like that.
2013
01:24:59,250 --> 01:25:01,420
If you do, I will show you
the dictionary definition
2014
01:25:01,450 --> 01:25:03,650
of the word "trasher.".
You get it?
2015
01:25:03,690 --> 01:25:05,420
- Yes, ma'am.
- Apologize to her!
2016
01:25:05,460 --> 01:25:07,590
I'm sorry.
2017
01:25:07,630 --> 01:25:09,460
Now beat it before
I wrap your tricycle
2018
01:25:09,490 --> 01:25:10,760
around your fat head!
2019
01:25:13,230 --> 01:25:14,500
[exhales]
2020
01:25:14,530 --> 01:25:17,100
- You! Stop!
- [horse nickers]
2021
01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:31,250
Young lady, can I count on
your vote in November?
2022
01:25:31,280 --> 01:25:34,490
Was this on the registry?
[laughs]
2023
01:25:43,560 --> 01:25:46,430
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2024
01:25:51,670 --> 01:25:54,410
[crowd hoots]
2025
01:25:54,440 --> 01:25:57,410
Bev, you did it! I love you!
[laughs]
2026
01:25:57,440 --> 01:25:59,440
Ooh! [laughs] And I,
much to my amazement,
2027
01:25:59,480 --> 01:26:01,410
am quite fond of you. [laughs]
2028
01:26:01,450 --> 01:26:02,650
I've gotta go.
2029
01:26:02,680 --> 01:26:03,750
[string quartet playing]
2030
01:26:05,350 --> 01:26:08,350
You are a hero.
I can't thank you enough.
2031
01:26:08,390 --> 01:26:10,150
My pleasure, man.
2032
01:26:10,190 --> 01:26:11,260
Sorry about your girl.
2033
01:26:11,290 --> 01:26:13,360
She wasn't my girl.
2034
01:26:13,390 --> 01:26:14,390
Was just...
2035
01:26:15,830 --> 01:26:17,530
- Crazy love.
- [chuckles]
2036
01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:19,130
It's all crazy.
2037
01:26:19,160 --> 01:26:22,130
Look, my bride,
2038
01:26:22,170 --> 01:26:23,700
three mafia goons,
2039
01:26:23,730 --> 01:26:25,400
and my brother
chained to a stripper.
2040
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:27,570
But in the end,
you got the girl.
2041
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:31,280
Come with me.
It's gonna be a great party.
2042
01:26:31,310 --> 01:26:32,340
I'm good, thank you.
2043
01:26:33,610 --> 01:26:35,680
Okay. Thanks again.
2044
01:26:38,320 --> 01:26:39,350
Hey.
2045
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:42,550
Don't give up on the crazy.
2046
01:26:42,590 --> 01:26:43,820
That's what makes love...
2047
01:26:45,660 --> 01:26:46,660
Love.
2048
01:26:48,390 --> 01:26:52,660
[wedding march plays]
2049
01:26:54,500 --> 01:26:56,170
[crowd cheering]
2050
01:27:03,570 --> 01:27:04,810
[crowd applauds]
2051
01:27:06,410 --> 01:27:08,210
I've never seen
an avocado do that.
2052
01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:10,850
[guests laugh]
2053
01:27:10,880 --> 01:27:12,720
So, remember, Robert,
2054
01:27:12,750 --> 01:27:14,650
when you hook up to
the old ball and chain,
2055
01:27:14,690 --> 01:27:16,450
don't do it like I did.
2056
01:27:16,490 --> 01:27:18,420
She's got the balls
and I've got the chain.
2057
01:27:18,460 --> 01:27:22,360
[guests cheer]
2058
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,460
- Hey, everybody!
- [cheers]
2059
01:27:26,500 --> 01:27:28,300
How we doing?
2060
01:27:28,330 --> 01:27:30,430
All right. Thank you all
so much for coming.
2061
01:27:30,470 --> 01:27:33,210
This is my first wedding,
and hopefully my last.
2062
01:27:33,240 --> 01:27:34,770
- [chuckles] Um...
- [guests laugh]
2063
01:27:34,810 --> 01:27:37,540
And this great event
was created by Jessie English.
2064
01:27:37,570 --> 01:27:39,580
[guests cheer and applaud]
2065
01:27:39,610 --> 01:27:43,250
Who, thankfully,
decided not to parachute
2066
01:27:43,280 --> 01:27:45,450
- through the top of a tent.
- [guests laugh]
2067
01:27:45,480 --> 01:27:47,550
But seriously, Jessie,
thank you so much.
2068
01:27:48,950 --> 01:27:50,750
Hey, what about me?
2069
01:27:50,790 --> 01:27:52,590
Oh, I'm sorry, and you are?
2070
01:27:52,620 --> 01:27:53,860
[guests laugh]
2071
01:27:53,890 --> 01:27:55,530
Have a good time, everybody!
2072
01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:58,700
[cheers and applause]
2073
01:28:02,570 --> 01:28:04,540
Well, speaking
of new marriages,
2074
01:28:04,570 --> 01:28:06,000
"Celebration"!
2075
01:28:06,040 --> 01:28:08,740
[cheers and applause]
2076
01:28:08,770 --> 01:28:13,350
[clapping rhythmically]
2077
01:28:13,380 --> 01:28:15,350
We don't know how to play it.
2078
01:28:15,380 --> 01:28:17,950
[clapping continues]
2079
01:28:20,750 --> 01:28:22,290
"Celebration."
2080
01:28:22,320 --> 01:28:24,690
- [drum beat begins]
- [guests cheer]
2081
01:28:26,820 --> 01:28:29,230
[band playing "Celebration"]
2082
01:28:41,670 --> 01:28:43,270
♪ Yahoo! ♪
2083
01:28:44,470 --> 01:28:46,480
♪ It's a celebration ♪
2084
01:28:49,980 --> 01:28:52,550
♪ Yahoo! ♪
2085
01:28:52,580 --> 01:28:54,690
- What's wrong?
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
2086
01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:58,020
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
2087
01:28:58,060 --> 01:28:59,690
Look at that.
2088
01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:02,630
[Jordan]
♪ It's a celebration ♪
2089
01:29:02,660 --> 01:29:04,360
It's perfect.
2090
01:29:04,390 --> 01:29:06,630
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
2091
01:29:06,660 --> 01:29:10,300
[laughs]
It's really not perfect.
2092
01:29:10,340 --> 01:29:12,500
Oh, look at the two of them.
2093
01:29:12,540 --> 01:29:14,810
If that's not perfect,
then it doesn't need to be.
2094
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:16,070
You did good, kid.
2095
01:29:16,110 --> 01:29:18,610
[laughs] Thank you, Larry.
2096
01:29:18,640 --> 01:29:20,350
Oh, no. Only...
2097
01:29:20,380 --> 01:29:22,010
There's only one person
who calls me Larry.
2098
01:29:22,050 --> 01:29:24,020
- [laughs] Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.
2099
01:29:24,050 --> 01:29:26,020
If you keep up
this nice guy crap,
2100
01:29:26,050 --> 01:29:27,750
everybody's
gonna call you Larry.
2101
01:29:27,780 --> 01:29:29,490
[chuckles]
2102
01:29:29,520 --> 01:29:32,020
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
2103
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:35,960
[Jordan]
♪ It's a celebration! ♪
2104
01:29:35,990 --> 01:29:39,930
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
2105
01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:43,000
[Mack]
♪ Ooh, it's a celebration! ♪
2106
01:29:43,030 --> 01:29:45,970
♪ There's a party going on
Round here ♪
2107
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:50,510
♪ A celebration to last
Throughout the year ♪
2108
01:29:50,540 --> 01:29:53,710
♪ So, bring your good times
And your laughter too ♪
2109
01:29:53,750 --> 01:29:55,610
[no audible dialogue]
2110
01:29:55,650 --> 01:29:59,420
♪ We're gonna celebrate
Your party with you ♪
2111
01:29:59,450 --> 01:30:03,390
♪ Celebration ♪
2112
01:30:03,420 --> 01:30:07,090
♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪
2113
01:30:07,130 --> 01:30:10,460
♪ Celebration ♪
2114
01:30:10,500 --> 01:30:15,470
♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪
2115
01:30:15,500 --> 01:30:19,140
♪ It's time to come together ♪
2116
01:30:19,170 --> 01:30:23,040
♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure ♪
2117
01:30:23,070 --> 01:30:27,750
♪ Everyone around the world
Come on! ♪
2118
01:30:27,780 --> 01:30:30,450
♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪
2119
01:30:30,480 --> 01:30:32,080
♪ Yahoo! ♪
2120
01:30:32,120 --> 01:30:34,820
- ♪ It's a celebration! ♪
- ♪ Whoo! ♪
2121
01:30:34,850 --> 01:30:37,890
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
2122
01:30:37,920 --> 01:30:42,930
♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪
2123
01:30:42,960 --> 01:30:45,900
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
2124
01:30:45,930 --> 01:30:50,470
♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪
2125
01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:53,910
♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
2126
01:30:53,940 --> 01:30:55,140
♪ Let's celebrate ♪
2127
01:30:55,170 --> 01:30:57,840
♪ Celebration ♪
2128
01:30:57,880 --> 01:31:02,480
♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪
2129
01:31:02,510 --> 01:31:06,550
♪ Celebration ♪
2130
01:31:06,580 --> 01:31:10,490
♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪
2131
01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:13,120
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
2132
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:16,960
♪ Let's celebrate
It's all right ♪
2133
01:31:16,990 --> 01:31:21,060
♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
2134
01:31:21,100 --> 01:31:24,870
♪ Let's celebrate
'Cause it's all right ♪
2135
01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:30,210
♪ It's time to come together ♪
2136
01:31:30,240 --> 01:31:34,150
♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure? ♪
2137
01:31:34,180 --> 01:31:38,980
♪ Everyone around the world
come on! ♪
2138
01:31:39,020 --> 01:31:42,150
♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪
2139
01:31:42,190 --> 01:31:44,890
[laughs]
2140
01:31:44,920 --> 01:31:47,630
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2141
01:31:51,930 --> 01:31:54,130
[game show music playing]
2142
01:31:54,170 --> 01:31:56,170
All right! Hold it down!
2143
01:31:56,200 --> 01:31:59,640
Hold it down! Let's
just get this over with.
2144
01:31:59,670 --> 01:32:01,840
Final show. Crash Couples.
2145
01:32:01,870 --> 01:32:03,710
Someone walks away with a mill.
2146
01:32:03,740 --> 01:32:06,080
Someone walks away with bupkis.
2147
01:32:06,110 --> 01:32:07,950
- [drum sting]
- The results are in.
2148
01:32:07,980 --> 01:32:10,680
Tiny and Shaq have been
leading the voting
2149
01:32:10,720 --> 01:32:12,780
for the last five days.
2150
01:32:12,820 --> 01:32:14,520
[cheers and applause]
2151
01:32:14,550 --> 01:32:15,850
Which means you two
2152
01:32:15,890 --> 01:32:17,690
have been getting
your asses kicked.
2153
01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:19,760
- [audience laughs]
- But...
2154
01:32:19,790 --> 01:32:22,960
A giant tidal wave
of last minute votes
2155
01:32:22,990 --> 01:32:26,130
produced
an impossible comeback.
2156
01:32:26,160 --> 01:32:28,030
- [drumroll]
- The winners are
2157
01:32:28,060 --> 01:32:30,700
Jimmy and Svetlana!
2158
01:32:30,730 --> 01:32:32,600
[audience cheers and applauds]
2159
01:32:32,640 --> 01:32:36,510
[game show music playing]
2160
01:32:41,580 --> 01:32:42,680
That was us.154377
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