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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,099 --> 00:00:03,500 ♪ THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD ♪ 2 00:00:03,502 --> 00:00:06,304 ♪ I SHALL NOT WANT ♪ 3 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,872 ♪ HE MAKETH ME ♪ 4 00:00:08,874 --> 00:00:12,176 ♪ TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES ♪ 5 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:17,615 ♪ HE LEADETH ME ♪ 6 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:23,922 ♪ BESIDE THE STILL WATERS ♪ 7 00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:32,564 ♪ STILL WATERS ♪ 8 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,633 YOU KNOW THAT STUFF THEY'RE SELLING NOW AT THE LOCAL SHOP? 9 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,069 WHICH STUFF? 10 00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,671 "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER." 11 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,106 OOH, YES. 12 00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:45,477 WELL, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER. 13 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,046 YEAH, WELL, I BELIEVE THAT IS THE IDEA, YEAH. 14 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,716 THEN YESTERDAY, I WENT TO CROOKENDON, 15 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,119 AND I BOUGHT THIS OTHER HOME BRAND. 16 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,154 YES... 17 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,090 YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT 18 00:00:57,092 --> 00:00:59,859 "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER." 19 00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:01,394 HMM. 20 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,131 I'M LOSING YOU NOW. 21 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:08,134 YOU KNOW "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER..." 22 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,603 YEAH, YOU THINK IT IS BUTTER. 23 00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:13,706 NO. YOU KNOW THE STUFF THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IS NOT BUTTER 24 00:01:13,708 --> 00:01:16,709 IS CALLED "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER." 25 00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,444 PROBABLY, YEAH, YEAH. 26 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:21,447 WELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THE STUFF 27 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,581 THAT IS NOT "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER" 28 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,052 IS NOT "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER." 29 00:01:25,054 --> 00:01:28,022 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT BOTH-- 30 00:01:28,024 --> 00:01:29,589 "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER" 31 00:01:29,591 --> 00:01:31,558 AND THE STUFF THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IS NOT 32 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,427 "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER" 33 00:01:33,429 --> 00:01:36,663 ARE BOTH, IN FACT, NOT BUTTER. 34 00:01:36,665 --> 00:01:38,632 AND I BELIEVE... 35 00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:41,835 THEY BOTH MIGHT BE BUTTER. 36 00:01:43,205 --> 00:01:45,239 IN A CUNNING DISGUISE. 37 00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:47,874 AND, IN FACT, THERE'S A LOT MORE BUTTER AROUND 38 00:01:47,876 --> 00:01:50,277 THAN WE ALL THOUGHT THERE WAS. 39 00:01:50,279 --> 00:01:51,478 YEAH. 40 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,481 YOU SEE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 41 00:01:54,483 --> 00:01:56,483 BUT I'M SURE GOD DOES 42 00:01:56,485 --> 00:01:59,054 AND IS INTRIGUED BY THE WHOLE THING. 43 00:01:59,056 --> 00:02:00,955 ONE THING I DO KNOW, THOUGH-- WHAT? 44 00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,390 THIS IS NOT BUTTER. NO. 45 00:02:02,392 --> 00:02:04,359 THIS IS CLOTTED CREAM. 46 00:02:04,361 --> 00:02:06,194 DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING? IN HERE. 47 00:02:06,196 --> 00:02:08,396 NO. IN MY MOUTHPOT NOW. 48 00:02:08,398 --> 00:02:10,465 ( knock on door ) 49 00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:12,434 AH, AH, AH, AH. 50 00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:16,771 MMM. SORRY. 51 00:02:16,773 --> 00:02:18,339 MOUTH'S NOT BIG ENOUGH, SURPRISINGLY. 52 00:02:18,341 --> 00:02:19,374 COME ON IN. 53 00:02:20,643 --> 00:02:24,345 MMM. MMM-MMM-MMM. 54 00:02:24,347 --> 00:02:26,314 GOD GOT A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT. 55 00:02:26,316 --> 00:02:28,316 MEN'S BOTTOMS ARE LOVELY, AREN'T THEY? 56 00:02:28,318 --> 00:02:31,619 BUT HE REALLY SHOULD'VE MADE MAN SCONE-SIZE, I THINK. 57 00:02:31,621 --> 00:02:33,089 GO. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 58 00:02:33,091 --> 00:02:35,624 IT'S OUR LITTLE CARL. 59 00:02:35,626 --> 00:02:36,892 YEAH. 60 00:02:36,894 --> 00:02:40,162 I'M AFRAID HE'S PASSED AWAY. 61 00:02:40,164 --> 00:02:43,832 OH, DEAR. I'M SO SORRY. 62 00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:45,734 IT WAS RATHER SUDDEN. 63 00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:50,172 WE WONDERED WHETHER YOU'D HAVE TIME TO DO THE FUNERAL TOMORROW. 64 00:02:50,174 --> 00:02:52,174 YES. YES, OF COURSE. 65 00:02:52,176 --> 00:02:55,177 DO YOU MIND ME ASKING, HOW OLD WAS CARL? 66 00:02:55,179 --> 00:02:57,646 HE WAS JUST THREE. 67 00:02:57,648 --> 00:03:00,849 OH, DEAR. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN AND HAVE SOME TEA? 68 00:03:00,851 --> 00:03:03,018 NO. OKAY. 69 00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:04,153 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, VICAR. RIGHT. 70 00:03:04,155 --> 00:03:05,387 SEE YOU TOMORROW. 71 00:03:05,389 --> 00:03:07,257 YES, YES. TAKE CARE. 72 00:03:13,132 --> 00:03:17,167 HOW COULD I HAVE SAID THAT ABOUT MEN'S BOTTOMS? 73 00:03:17,169 --> 00:03:19,236 AND THEY'RE NOT LOVELY. 74 00:03:19,238 --> 00:03:21,371 MOST OF THEM ARE JUST HORRIBLE. 75 00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:24,707 MY BROTHER'S BOTTOM LOOKS LIKE WILLIE WHITELAW... 76 00:03:24,709 --> 00:03:26,576 CHEWING TOFFEE. 77 00:03:28,614 --> 00:03:30,580 OH, GOD. 78 00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:34,884 OH, ALICE, THAT POOR WOMAN. 79 00:03:34,886 --> 00:03:37,754 IMAGINE WANTING TO BURY HIM TOMORROW. 80 00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:40,691 DON'T PEOPLE COPE WITH DEATH IN STRANGE WAYS? 81 00:03:40,693 --> 00:03:42,426 OH, THEY CERTAINLY DO. 82 00:03:42,428 --> 00:03:44,262 WHEN MY FATHER DIED, 83 00:03:44,264 --> 00:03:47,097 MY MUM CRACKED OPEN A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE 84 00:03:47,099 --> 00:03:49,634 AND WENT STRAIGHT TO MAJORCA. 85 00:03:49,636 --> 00:03:52,836 BUT THAT WAS PROBABLY 'CAUSE SHE HATED HIM. 86 00:03:55,175 --> 00:03:59,477 DEAR LORD, YOU HAVE SEEN FIT TO TAKE CARL FROM US. 87 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:01,445 WE COMMEND HIS SOUL TO YOU. 88 00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:05,683 AND WE PRAY THAT YOU WELCOME HIM INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. 89 00:04:05,685 --> 00:04:08,653 IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHY FELIX 90 00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:11,556 FELT IT NECESSARY TO EAT CARL, 91 00:04:11,558 --> 00:04:13,957 ESPECIALLY SINCE FELIX HAD JUST DEVOURED 92 00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:16,195 AN ENTIRE TIN OF WHISKAS. 93 00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:18,997 OKAY. 94 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,100 IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER 95 00:04:22,102 --> 00:04:24,336 AND OF THE SON 96 00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:26,871 AND OF THE HOLY GHOST. 97 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,810 AMEN. 98 00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:36,615 IT'S MAD, ISN'T IT, ALICE? 99 00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:39,251 PEOPLE GENUINELY LOVE THEIR ANIMALS 100 00:04:39,253 --> 00:04:41,753 MORE THAN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. 101 00:04:41,755 --> 00:04:44,756 ANIMALS ARE NICER THAN HUMANS. 102 00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:47,158 YEP. GOOD POINT, WONDERLAND. 103 00:04:49,364 --> 00:04:53,366 I REMEMBER WHEN MY BUDGIE, CARROT, FIRST DIED. 104 00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:56,936 I WAS ABSOLUTELY HEARTBROKEN. 105 00:04:56,938 --> 00:05:01,441 HE WAS THE ONLY ANIMAL I'D NOT BEEN ALLERGIC TO. 106 00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:03,309 WHEN HE FIRST DIED? 107 00:05:03,311 --> 00:05:06,746 THAT'S RIGHT 'CAUSE HE DIED, 108 00:05:06,748 --> 00:05:10,516 AND THEN, TWO DAYS LATER, HE CAME BACK TO LIFE AGAIN. 109 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,652 YES. 110 00:05:12,654 --> 00:05:15,622 BIT LIKE JESUS, BUT WITH FEATHERS. 111 00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:18,358 THEN HE DIED TWICE THE NEXT YEAR. 112 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,360 BOTH TIMES, CAME BACK TO LIFE AGAIN. 113 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,397 YOU SURE HE ABSOLUTELY DID DIE? 114 00:05:23,399 --> 00:05:25,399 OH, YEAH. 115 00:05:25,401 --> 00:05:27,401 FELL OFF HIS PERCH AND EVERYTHING. 116 00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:29,303 WE BURIED HIM. 117 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,340 JUST OUT OF INTEREST, 118 00:05:33,342 --> 00:05:36,543 WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE WHEN HE CAME BACK TO LIFE? 119 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,280 WELL, HE ALWAYS LOOKED A BIT DIFFERENT, 120 00:05:39,282 --> 00:05:41,415 BUT, I MEAN... 121 00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:44,918 WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT? 122 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,354 BECAUSE, AFTER ALL, HE HAD DIED. 123 00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:50,991 YEAH. 124 00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:52,493 YOU DON'T THINK, ALICE, 125 00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:54,495 THAT PERHAPS YOUR AFFECTIONATE, 126 00:05:54,497 --> 00:05:57,432 BUT TECHNICALLY INSANE, MOTHER 127 00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:59,634 JUST BOUGHT YOU A NEW BUDGIE EACH TIME 128 00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:03,070 AND CALLED IT "CARROT" SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE TOO SAD? 129 00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:09,377 POOR CARROT ACTUALLY DID DIE, DID HE? 130 00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:10,878 YEAH. 131 00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:15,983 AND LITTLE CARROT ALSO DIED, DID HE? 132 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:18,720 YEAH. 133 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:21,823 AND CARROT... 134 00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:27,228 LOOK, COME ON, COME ON NOW. COME ON. 135 00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:29,331 COME ON. WE'LL PRAY FOR ALL OF 'EM, 136 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,801 THE WHOLE BUNCH OF CARROTS. 137 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:36,939 HEY, ALICE, LOOK. 138 00:06:36,941 --> 00:06:38,641 LOOK. 139 00:06:40,978 --> 00:06:44,313 RIGHT. I'VE HAD A LETTER FROM FLORENCE GLOVER. 140 00:06:44,315 --> 00:06:46,015 THAT POOR WOMAN. 141 00:06:46,017 --> 00:06:48,650 THAT HUSBAND OF HERS IS A MONSTER. 142 00:06:48,652 --> 00:06:52,187 THE MOST UNPLEASANT MAN WHO EVER LIVED IN THE VILLAGE. 143 00:06:52,189 --> 00:06:53,889 WHAT'S THE NEWS, THEN? 144 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,790 HE'S DEAD. 145 00:06:57,861 --> 00:07:01,263 FINALLY, THE PUMPKIN SHOW IS ON SATURDAY WEEK. 146 00:07:01,265 --> 00:07:05,067 ALL ENTRIES SHOULD BE IN BY FRIDAY NIGHT. 147 00:07:05,069 --> 00:07:07,537 WELL, I THINK I GOT YOU THIS YEAR, JIM. 148 00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:11,141 IT'S A BIG ORANGE BASTARD AND NO MISTAKE. 149 00:07:11,143 --> 00:07:12,808 NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT A CHANCE. 150 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:16,779 THEY DON'T CALL YOU "NO HOPE" NEWITT FOR NOTHING. 151 00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:18,581 ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN, 152 00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,816 IF THERE ISN'T ANY A.O.B., 153 00:07:20,818 --> 00:07:22,252 THE ADDAMS FAMILY IS ON THE TELEVISION TONIGHT, 154 00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:24,287 AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY 155 00:07:24,289 --> 00:07:27,357 TO SPEND SOME TIME IN THE COMPANY OF NORMAL FOLK. 156 00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:29,059 WELL, ACTUALLY, THERE IS ONE THING. 157 00:07:29,061 --> 00:07:30,260 I'LL CATCH IT ON VIDEO. 158 00:07:30,262 --> 00:07:31,761 I THOUGHT YOU'D ALL LIKE TO KNOW 159 00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:34,664 I'M PLANNING A SPECIAL SERVICE FOR THE ANIMALS OF THE VILLAGE. 160 00:07:34,666 --> 00:07:38,301 OH, SHEBA AND FISHCAKE WILL BE PLEASED. 161 00:07:39,439 --> 00:07:41,038 I BEG YOUR PARDON. 162 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,839 I KNOW YOU ALL THINK I'M GAGA. 163 00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:45,509 YOU KNOW, MISS P.M.D., 1994. 164 00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:48,145 BUT THINK ABOUT IT. THIS IS A COUNTRY PARISH. 165 00:07:48,147 --> 00:07:50,714 AND PEOPLE JUST ADORE THEIR ANIMALS. 166 00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:53,250 SO WHY NOT LET ST. BARNABAS BE AN ARK FOR THE MORNING? 167 00:07:53,252 --> 00:07:55,719 AND, JIM, YOU CAN BE NOAH. 168 00:07:55,721 --> 00:07:57,388 NO, NO, NO, NO... 169 00:07:57,390 --> 00:08:00,257 NOAH, YES. 170 00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:02,893 SOUNDS BARKING MAD TO ME. 171 00:08:02,895 --> 00:08:06,530 YES, I THINK THE VICAR CAN DO AS SHE CHOOSES WITH HER OWN CHURCH. 172 00:08:06,532 --> 00:08:08,999 PERHAPS WE CAN RETURN TO THIS AT THE NEXT MEETING. 173 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,303 WE MEET AGAIN IN A FORTNIGHT. 174 00:08:12,305 --> 00:08:17,209 OH, VICAR, I WONDER IF YOU COULD DROP BY AFTER LUNCH TOMORROW. 175 00:08:17,211 --> 00:08:18,276 LITTLE CHAT. 176 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,044 CERTAINLY, YEAH. 177 00:08:20,046 --> 00:08:21,913 I'D INVITE YOU 'ROUND TO JOIN US FOR LUNCH, 178 00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:24,516 BUT HUGO'S COOKING, AND HIS FOOD TASTES LIKE MANURE. 179 00:08:24,518 --> 00:08:26,418 DOESN'T IT, HUGO? 180 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:27,852 SORRY, FATHER? 181 00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:28,886 YOUR FOOD. WHAT DOES IT TASTE LIKE? 182 00:08:28,888 --> 00:08:31,089 OH, ABSOLUTE POO, I'M AFRAID. 183 00:08:31,091 --> 00:08:33,258 SEE YOU AFTER LUNCH. 184 00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:34,326 YEAH. 185 00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:35,427 ( rings doorbell ) 186 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:36,894 ( horse whinnies ) 187 00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,064 GOD, IT'S COLD OUT HERE. 188 00:08:40,066 --> 00:08:41,699 YOU SHOULD OUT YOUR HORSE IN THE STABLE, DAVID. 189 00:08:41,701 --> 00:08:43,635 LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOT A GREAT BIG STALACTITE 190 00:08:43,637 --> 00:08:45,637 HANGING DOWN BETWEEN ITS LEGS. 191 00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:51,944 OH, I MUST SAY, DAVID, 192 00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,846 I REALLY--OH, CHEERS-- 193 00:08:53,848 --> 00:08:56,115 REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT 194 00:08:56,117 --> 00:08:57,617 ON THIS WHOLE ANIMAL THING. 195 00:08:57,619 --> 00:08:59,619 YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST MOVED HERE, 196 00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:01,820 I THOUGHT YOU AND I WERE GONNA FIGHT LIKE RICHARD AND JUDY 197 00:09:01,822 --> 00:09:03,989 FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 198 00:09:03,991 --> 00:09:07,360 BUT NOW, SOMETHING WARM AND CUDDLY 199 00:09:07,362 --> 00:09:09,862 AND A BIT MR. KIPLING'S HAPPENING, ISN'T IT? 200 00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:12,231 WELL, I'M DELIGHTED ABOUT THAT. 201 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:14,700 YEAH. WELL... 202 00:09:14,702 --> 00:09:16,302 PORT? 203 00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:18,504 OH, YES. YOU KNOW ME-- I GOT THE GOUT. 204 00:09:18,506 --> 00:09:21,875 WHO NEEDS TWO LEGS? 205 00:09:21,877 --> 00:09:24,444 ALTHOUGH, ACTUALLY, THERE IS ONE LITTLE THING 206 00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:27,214 I WANTED TO SAY ABOUT THIS ANIMAL SERVICE IDEA. 207 00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,716 OH, EXCELLENT. ALL IDEAS WELCOME. 208 00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:34,087 ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY BOLLOCKING CRAZY? 209 00:09:34,089 --> 00:09:35,589 BEG YOUR PARDON? 210 00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:38,258 ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO LET ANIMALS INTO OUR CHURCH? 211 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:41,728 WELL, YES, I AM. I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA. 212 00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:43,096 PEOPLE LOVE ANIMALS. 213 00:09:43,098 --> 00:09:44,898 PEOPLE ALSO LOVE FOOD MIXERS. 214 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:48,134 BUT THERE ARE FEW OF US PRESSING THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY 215 00:09:48,136 --> 00:09:51,605 FOR A SPECIAL COMMUNION FOR THE MULLINEX MAGIC MASTER. 216 00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:53,207 ARE YOU HINTING, ALBEIT GENTLY, 217 00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:55,409 THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY VERY KEEN ON THE IDEA? 218 00:09:55,411 --> 00:09:57,579 HAVE YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS ONE THROUGH? 219 00:09:57,581 --> 00:10:00,081 IS THERE TO BE ANY LIMIT ON SIZE? 220 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,316 WILL HIPPOPOTAMUSES BE WELCOME? 221 00:10:01,318 --> 00:10:03,784 YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL 222 00:10:03,786 --> 00:10:06,053 THERE ARE NO HIPPOPOTAMUSES IN THE VILLAGE. 223 00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:08,055 Both: APART FROM MRS. STANFORD. 224 00:10:08,057 --> 00:10:13,127 DO NITS GET A BLESSING? ARE FLEAS TO BE EXCLUDED? 225 00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,029 SHOULD WE BRING ALONG OUR FREE-RANGE EGGS 226 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,333 TO HAVE THE UNBORN CHICKENS BLESSED 227 00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:20,768 BEFORE WE GO HOME AND SCRAMBLE THEM? 228 00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:24,706 YOU KNOW, FOR A BIG CHAP, DAVID, YOU'RE BEING VERY CHILDISH. 229 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:25,940 I'M BEING CHILDISH? 230 00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:27,275 I'M NOT THE ONE 231 00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:30,713 WHO'S GOING TO BLESS THE IKUWIKU HAMSTER! 232 00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,615 I MEAN, FOR HEAVEN SAKE, 233 00:10:32,617 --> 00:10:36,685 WHAT IF YOUR CONGREGATION START EATING EACH OTHER?! 234 00:10:36,687 --> 00:10:38,687 ANY ANIMAL CAUGHT SWALLOWING ANOTHER ANIMAL 235 00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:42,391 WILL BE PRETTY STERNLY TICKED OFF. 236 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:45,427 THAT IS BEFORE WE CONSIDER HYGIENE. 237 00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:47,363 ONE OF THE GREAT JOYS I'VE FOUND 238 00:10:47,365 --> 00:10:49,265 ABOUT HAVING HUMAN BEINGS IN CHURCH 239 00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:52,268 IS THAT THEY TEND TO BE HOUSE-TRAINED. 240 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:53,702 YES. WELL, I DON'T DENY 241 00:10:53,704 --> 00:10:57,005 THERE MAY BE ONE OR TWO PUDDLY-TYPE ACCIDENTS, YES. 242 00:10:57,007 --> 00:10:59,841 IF MRS. FOTHERGILL'S PARAKEET ESCAPES, 243 00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:02,177 WE WILL ALL BE WEARING PROTECTIVE HEADGEAR 244 00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:04,381 FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 245 00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:06,449 NO, I'M SORRY. IF YOU'RE GONNA START DOING TOILET GAGS, 246 00:11:06,451 --> 00:11:07,850 I'M AFRAID I JUST CAN'T TALK TO YOU. 247 00:11:07,852 --> 00:11:10,086 SO WHO WILL YOU TALK TO, THE ANIMALS? 248 00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:13,356 EVEN JESUS, WHO HAD SOME PRETTY DAMN WACKY IDEAS, 249 00:11:13,358 --> 00:11:14,658 DIDN'T BLESS ANIMALS. 250 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:17,827 DONKEYS--HE RODE THEM. FISH--HE ATE THEM. 251 00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:20,463 HELLO, VICAR. SPLENDID IDEA ABOUT THE ANIMAL SERVICE. 252 00:11:20,465 --> 00:11:21,998 OUT. 253 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,301 ABSOLUTELY. SAUCEPANS TO SCRUB. PLATES TO POLISH. 254 00:11:24,303 --> 00:11:26,403 WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND-- 255 00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:29,071 ONE QUESTION, VICAR. TEDDY BEARS... 256 00:11:29,073 --> 00:11:32,809 SOMEONE WAS ASKING ME. WILL THEY BE WELCOME? 257 00:11:32,811 --> 00:11:37,314 ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY, HUGO. YES, THEY WILL. 258 00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:38,316 SPLENDID. 259 00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:39,483 YES, I BETTER BE GOING, TOO. 260 00:11:39,485 --> 00:11:40,884 I'VE GOT A DOCTOR FRIEND POPPING 'ROUND. 261 00:11:40,886 --> 00:11:42,052 PERHAPS YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM-- 262 00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:43,921 DOLITTLE. LOVELY CHAP. 263 00:11:43,923 --> 00:11:46,924 DO ME ONE FAVOUR, THOUGH, WILL YOU, VICAR? 264 00:11:46,926 --> 00:11:48,959 TRY NOT TO PUBLICIZE THIS FIASCO 265 00:11:48,961 --> 00:11:51,796 OUTSIDE THE CONFINES OF OUR POOR LITTLE VILLAGE. 266 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:52,797 ALL RIGHT. 267 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:53,798 AND WHEN YOU GO HOME, 268 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,132 DO LOOK UP THE WORD "LAUGHINGSTOCK" 269 00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,400 IN THE DICTIONARY. 270 00:11:56,402 --> 00:11:57,968 WHILE I'M AT IT, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, 271 00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:59,704 BUT I'M ALSO GOING TO LOOK UP 272 00:11:59,706 --> 00:12:01,972 "LIPS GO UNATTRACTIVELY THIN WHEN ANGRY." 273 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:17,556 CAN I SPEAK TO THE BISHOP'S OFFICE, PLEASE? 274 00:12:20,694 --> 00:12:24,329 SO, YOU'RE REALLY HAVING ANIMALS IN THE CHURCH, ARE YOU? 275 00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:26,297 OH, YES. YES, WE ARE. 276 00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:28,233 WILL GERBILS BE TAKING HOLY COMMUNION? 277 00:12:28,235 --> 00:12:31,770 OH, GOSH, IT'S LIKE BEING ON BLOCKBUSTER'S. 278 00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:33,438 THEY MIGHT. I DON'T REALLY KNOW. 279 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,340 YOU'D HAVE TO ASK THE VICAR. 280 00:12:35,342 --> 00:12:37,676 OH, VICAR, THIS GENTLEMAN WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT THE SERVICE. 281 00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:38,810 OH. HAVE WE MET? 282 00:12:38,812 --> 00:12:40,712 NO. I'M JUST AN ADMIRER, LOVE. 283 00:12:40,714 --> 00:12:42,614 I'VE GOT A BULLDOG MESELF. 284 00:12:42,616 --> 00:12:45,617 NAGS ME EVERY SUNDAY TO TAKE HIM TO CHURCH. 285 00:12:45,619 --> 00:12:48,587 PARTICULARLY FOND OF THE MASS IN LATIN. 286 00:12:48,589 --> 00:12:50,123 I THINK YOU'RE TAKING THE MICKEY. 287 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:52,158 OH, NO. EVERYONE AT THE PAPER'S 288 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,693 REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT. 289 00:12:53,695 --> 00:12:55,394 SHEEP SINGING HYMNS. 290 00:12:55,396 --> 00:12:57,697 IT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ISN'T IT? 291 00:12:57,699 --> 00:12:59,766 CAN WE HAVE A PICTURE, VICAR? 292 00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:02,068 WHAT? OH, MY GOD. 293 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,970 ( knock on door ) 294 00:13:06,074 --> 00:13:09,475 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? NO. 295 00:13:09,477 --> 00:13:11,077 WHAT? 296 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,781 WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 297 00:13:14,783 --> 00:13:18,617 AHH! OH, MY GOD. WHO IS THAT? 298 00:13:18,619 --> 00:13:20,286 THAT'S JABBA THE HUTT, ISN'T IT? 299 00:13:20,288 --> 00:13:23,356 ( reading ) 300 00:13:25,728 --> 00:13:27,294 AND, LISTEN. 301 00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:29,029 THEY'VE WRITTEN A SPECIAL LORD'S PRAYER FOR YOU. 302 00:13:29,031 --> 00:13:30,698 "OUR FATHER WHO ART IN DOGGIE HEAVEN, 303 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,532 "HALLOWED BE THY MANE. 304 00:13:32,534 --> 00:13:35,435 "THY KINGDOM COME, THY PEDIGREE CHUM, 305 00:13:35,437 --> 00:13:37,905 ON EARTH AS IT IS IN BATTERSEA DOG'S HOME." 306 00:13:37,907 --> 00:13:39,372 FOR HEAVEN SAKE-- 307 00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:41,374 AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY QUOTED AS SAYING 308 00:13:41,376 --> 00:13:43,777 THAT GERBILS WILL BE GIVEN HOLY COMMUNION. 309 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,413 IF THAT YOUNG JOURNALIST COMES NEAR ME AGAIN, 310 00:13:46,415 --> 00:13:48,381 SOON AFTER, YOU'LL FIND ME WEARING 311 00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,718 AN INTRIGUING PAIR OF TESTICLE-SHAPED EARRINGS. 312 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,652 WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID-- 313 00:13:52,654 --> 00:13:54,221 THE POINT IS 314 00:13:54,223 --> 00:13:57,525 THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING AT ALL. 315 00:13:57,527 --> 00:14:00,695 WELL, I KNOW THAT, BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE HORNS AND TAILS, 316 00:14:00,697 --> 00:14:03,631 SO WE DIDN'T REALIZE THEY WERE FROM THE TABLOIDS. 317 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:07,568 THE TROUBLE IS THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE ANYTHING. 318 00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:10,471 YOU'RE A GOOD WOMAN WITH A GOOD HEART, 319 00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:13,775 BUT YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING A CAKE STORE, NOT A CHURCH. 320 00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:16,144 AND I'M AFRAID, DEAR LADY, THE TIME HAS COME, 321 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,412 FOR THE SAKE OF THIS COMMUNITY, 322 00:14:18,414 --> 00:14:22,150 FOR ME TO BEGIN PROCEEDINGS TO HAVE YOU REPLACED. 323 00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,185 WHAT? 324 00:14:24,187 --> 00:14:26,054 I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT. 325 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,560 ( sighs ) OH, GOD. 326 00:14:33,364 --> 00:14:35,430 HAVE YOU SEEN-- YES, I HAVE. 327 00:14:35,432 --> 00:14:37,499 I HAVEN'T BEEN SO DEPRESSED 328 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,736 SINCE DAVID BOWIE MARRIED A STICK INSECT. 329 00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:43,605 OH, WELL, THAT'S IT. 330 00:14:43,607 --> 00:14:45,241 WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL. 331 00:14:45,243 --> 00:14:47,076 EVERYBODY'S LAUGHING AT US. 332 00:14:47,078 --> 00:14:50,612 NO. SOME PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING AT US. 333 00:14:50,614 --> 00:14:53,015 BUT IF I'D STOP DOING WHAT I WAS DOING 334 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,284 JUST 'CAUSE PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING AT ME, 335 00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:57,286 I'D HAVE STOOD STOCK-STILL IN MY LIFE. 336 00:14:57,288 --> 00:15:00,322 THE PROBLEM IS, BIG CHIEF DAVID "WIGWAM HEAD" 337 00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:02,591 IS GENUINELY ON THE WARPATH. 338 00:15:02,593 --> 00:15:05,295 I COULD SOON BE PADDLELESS UP A RATHER FAMOUS CREEK, 339 00:15:05,297 --> 00:15:07,397 THE NAME OF WHICH RHYMES WITH "BRIT." 340 00:15:07,399 --> 00:15:10,600 DON'T WORRY. I'LL STICK BY YOU. 341 00:15:10,602 --> 00:15:13,369 AND I CAN BE A PRETTY SCARY OPPONENT, 342 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:17,607 AS GAVIN HART DISCOVERED WHEN HE TRIED TO LOOK UP MY PANTS IN THE PLAYGROUND... 343 00:15:19,111 --> 00:15:22,712 AND I STABBED HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A PROTRACTOR. 344 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,582 HERE'S A NICE ONE. 345 00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:27,351 ARE YOU GOING TO THE ANIMAL SERVICE, JIM? 346 00:15:27,353 --> 00:15:30,354 NO, NO, NO. I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET. 347 00:15:30,356 --> 00:15:32,822 I DON'T LIKE MISSING 348 00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:35,692 LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. 349 00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:37,762 HOW ABOUT YOU, LETITIA? 350 00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:40,665 OH, YES. THE QUESTION IS 351 00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:42,667 WHETHER TO BRING ALONG THE SNAILS 352 00:15:42,669 --> 00:15:44,636 I'VE GOT FOR MY NEW RECIPE. 353 00:15:44,638 --> 00:15:45,670 OH? 354 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:47,972 WHAT RECIPE IS THAT? 355 00:15:47,974 --> 00:15:51,208 BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING SURPRISE. 356 00:15:53,012 --> 00:15:55,647 OH, DEAR, I'VE JUST TROD IN SOMETHING BROWN, 357 00:15:55,649 --> 00:15:58,015 AND IT'S CERTAINLY NOT CHOCOLATE CAKE. 358 00:15:58,017 --> 00:16:00,551 ARE YOU COMING TO THE ANIMAL SERVICE, OWEN? 359 00:16:00,553 --> 00:16:03,721 AW, WELL, I DUNNO, YOU SEE. I MIGHT NOT BE FIT FOR IT 360 00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:06,291 AFTER ALL THE DRINKING ON SATURDAY NIGHT 361 00:16:06,293 --> 00:16:10,027 TO CELEBRATE MY GREAT PUMPKIN VICTORY! 362 00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:12,864 HEH HEH. SOME HOPE. FROM WHAT I HEAR, 363 00:16:12,866 --> 00:16:17,336 YOUR PUMPKINS ARE NO, NO, NO BIGGER THAN YOUR BALLS. 364 00:16:17,338 --> 00:16:19,338 THEN I BETTER BE GETTING MYSELF 365 00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:21,807 SOME LARGER UNDERPANTS, HADN'T I? 366 00:16:21,809 --> 00:16:24,075 OOH. 367 00:16:24,077 --> 00:16:27,313 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT SO BAD, I SUPPOSE. 368 00:16:27,315 --> 00:16:32,451 WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME... 369 00:16:32,453 --> 00:16:33,885 HA HA HA HA. 370 00:16:33,887 --> 00:16:36,054 HAVE YOU HEARD THE RUMOUR, BY THE WAY? 371 00:16:36,056 --> 00:16:40,359 MR. HORTON IS TRYING TO GET THE VICAR THE SACK! 372 00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:42,461 WHAT? NO. THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. 373 00:16:42,463 --> 00:16:44,997 COME ON IN, JIM. 374 00:16:44,999 --> 00:16:47,200 SECOND PLACE ISN'T SO BAD. 375 00:16:47,202 --> 00:16:50,136 ( wheel squeaks ) 376 00:16:51,906 --> 00:16:55,542 GERMANY CAME SECOND IN THE WAR. THEY DONE ALL RIGHT. 377 00:16:55,544 --> 00:16:56,943 NO, NO, NO, GOOD. 378 00:16:56,945 --> 00:16:59,078 THEN YOU'LL ENJOY BEING NUMBER TWO. 379 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,880 TA-DA! 380 00:17:00,882 --> 00:17:03,082 OOH! 381 00:17:03,084 --> 00:17:05,117 WELL, BUGGER ME. 382 00:17:06,955 --> 00:17:10,923 IT'S TIME THE VICAR DID SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR BAD LANGUAGE. 383 00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:14,227 OH, IT IS A BIG BUGGER, THOUGH, AIN'T IT? 384 00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:19,199 YOU HEARD THE RUMOUR THAT'S GOING AROUND? 385 00:17:19,201 --> 00:17:22,370 SORRY, ALICE, BUT IF IT'S GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH BUTTER, I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED. 386 00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:23,471 NO, NO. 387 00:17:23,473 --> 00:17:26,974 ( telephone rings ) 388 00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:31,979 HIYA! OH, HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? 389 00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:36,016 OH, I'M FINE, YEAH. I'VE BEEN HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE WITH A VERRUCA, 390 00:17:36,018 --> 00:17:38,753 BUT THE BIG SCAB FELL OFF TODAY, SO IT'S BETTER. 391 00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:40,354 YEAH, SHE'S HERE NOW. 392 00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:43,223 MAY I JUST SAY THAT I THINK YOU LOOKED GORGEOUS 393 00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:46,627 IN THAT FROCK YOU WERE WEARING THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE. 394 00:17:46,629 --> 00:17:51,231 YEAH, RIGHT, OKAY, HERE SHE IS. LOADS OF LOVE. ABYSSINIA. 395 00:17:51,233 --> 00:17:52,232 WHO IS IT? 396 00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:53,935 THE BISHOP. 397 00:17:53,937 --> 00:17:55,871 WHAT? THE BISHOP. 398 00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:58,940 BERTIE. BERTIE, HI. 399 00:17:58,942 --> 00:18:00,409 GERRY HERE, YEAH. 400 00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:03,278 SORRY ABOUT THAT. LOBOTOMY, YEAH. 401 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,815 VERY SLOW PROGRESS, SADLY. SO HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 402 00:18:06,817 --> 00:18:09,651 UH-OH, DAVID HORTON'S BEEN CALLING YOU. 403 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:12,554 HE'S A TOTAL NACHO, ISN'T HE? 404 00:18:12,556 --> 00:18:15,056 AND ONE OF YOUR DEAREST FRIENDS, RIGHT. 405 00:18:15,058 --> 00:18:17,559 YEAH. NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, YEAH. 406 00:18:17,561 --> 00:18:20,529 NO, HE DOES REPRESENT THE FEELINGS OF A LARGE SECTOR OF THE COMMUNITY. 407 00:18:20,531 --> 00:18:22,196 RIGHT, YEAH, POINT TAKEN. 408 00:18:22,198 --> 00:18:24,933 RIGHT. YEAH, WELL, THANKS FOR THE TIP-OFF. 409 00:18:24,935 --> 00:18:27,403 BIG LOVE TO LUIGI, HUH? 410 00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:30,907 OH, IVAN. LOVELY. 411 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:35,277 OH, GREAT. OKAY, THEN. BYE. 412 00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:37,914 DID HE TELL YOU NOT TO DO THE SERVICE? 413 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,215 NOT AS SUCH, NO. 414 00:18:40,217 --> 00:18:42,251 BUT HE DID SAY IF IT BACKFIRED, 415 00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:45,054 I'D HAVE TO TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES. 416 00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:48,190 OH, I'M SURE IT WILL BE FINE. 417 00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:50,693 YOU MEAN LIKE YOU WERE SURE 418 00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,962 YOU WERE GONNA WIN THE KRYPTON FACTOR? 419 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,700 ACTUALLY IS THE WORST IDEA 420 00:18:57,702 --> 00:19:00,803 IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, ISN'T IT? 421 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,975 CERTAINLY SHOULDN'T BE EATING THIS. 422 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,743 LAST TIME I FELT THIS BAD, 423 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:10,547 I ATE 562 KRUNCHIES IN ONE NIGHT, REMEMBER? 424 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,982 AND THAT WAS FINE, 425 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,217 TILL I WASHED 'EM DOWN WITH THAT TIN OF TREACLE. 426 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,853 O.D.'d ON SUGAR. 427 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:19,289 WOKE UP IN A DISGUSTING POSITION ON THE SOFA. 428 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,259 OH, GOD. 429 00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:24,728 SORRY I'M SO GLOOMY. 430 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,430 I'M SORRY I ALWAYS SAY "OH, GOD" WHEN I AM GLOOMY. 431 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:30,100 OH, GOD. 432 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,335 LOOK, IF IT IS A DISASTER TOMORROW, 433 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,605 IF IT'S THE ECCLESIASTICAL EQUIVALENT 434 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,575 OF LATOYA JACKSON'S NEW NOSE, 435 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,211 YOU WILL LEND ME A HAND, WON'T YOU? 436 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,547 I LIKE IT HERE. 437 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,197 OH, NO. 438 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,233 WHAT COULD I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF? 439 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,904 DON'T EVEN LIKE ANIMALS, PARTICULARLY PETS. 440 00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,874 THERE'S ALWAYS THAT ONE LAST POO THAT YOU CAN SMELL, 441 00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:45,778 BUT YOU CAN'T FIND, UNTIL COME WINTER, 442 00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:47,413 YOU PUT YOUR WELLIES ON. 443 00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:49,482 KRRRKKK! 444 00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:12,038 RIGHT. LET'S GO... 445 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,074 FACE THE TOTAL IGNOMINY OF A CHURCH EMPTY 446 00:21:15,076 --> 00:21:18,546 APART FROM YOU, ME, AND ONE VERY RELIGIOUS RAT. 447 00:21:18,548 --> 00:21:20,614 WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING ABOUT? 448 00:21:20,616 --> 00:21:24,151 YOU LOOK LIKE SISSY SPACEK ON ECSTASY. 449 00:21:35,665 --> 00:21:37,464 THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. 450 00:21:37,466 --> 00:21:38,498 MORNING, VICAR. 451 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,002 MORNING. 452 00:21:42,004 --> 00:21:44,572 SO, UH, INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE SERVICE, 453 00:21:44,574 --> 00:21:47,174 WE'LL SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING. 454 00:21:47,176 --> 00:21:49,309 CORRECT. BRILLIANT. 455 00:21:49,311 --> 00:21:50,711 ALTHOUGH I MAY DRIFT ALONG AT THE END 456 00:21:50,713 --> 00:21:52,581 TO TAKE SOME PHOTOS FOR THE BISHOP. 457 00:21:52,583 --> 00:21:55,717 BRAVO. SUPERB PLAN. 458 00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:03,792 OH, LOOK AT THIS ONE. OH, CAN I SEE? 459 00:22:03,794 --> 00:22:06,260 OH, LET ME LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE BABY FACE. 460 00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:07,762 WHAT'S HIS NAME? SATAN. 461 00:22:07,764 --> 00:22:09,898 SATAN. RIGHT. 462 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:13,668 GOOD. WELL, I HOPE HE ENJOYS THE SERMON. 463 00:22:13,670 --> 00:22:15,937 RATHER BRAVE OF HIM TO COME AT ALL, REALLY. 464 00:22:18,675 --> 00:22:19,674 ALTHOUGH-- 465 00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:20,775 YES. 466 00:22:20,777 --> 00:22:23,578 ACTUALLY... 467 00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:25,546 ACTUALLY, I-- 468 00:22:25,548 --> 00:22:28,484 SPIT IT OUT, BOY. 469 00:22:28,486 --> 00:22:31,087 ACTUALLY, I'M NOT SURE 470 00:22:31,089 --> 00:22:35,124 IT IS SUCH A RIPPING PLAN, IN FACT. 471 00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:37,126 I BEG YOUR PARDON. 472 00:22:37,128 --> 00:22:40,262 WELL, IT SEEMS TO ME 473 00:22:40,264 --> 00:22:44,133 THAT SITTING HERE DOING, IF YOU'LL PARDON MY FRENCH, 474 00:22:44,135 --> 00:22:46,368 SANS TOUT, 475 00:22:46,370 --> 00:22:50,439 IS, IN FACT, A PRETTY DAMN POOR IDEA 476 00:22:50,441 --> 00:22:53,509 IN COMPARISON TO TAKING OLD BRUNO TO THE CHURCH 477 00:22:53,511 --> 00:22:55,645 TO THANK GOD FOR THE ANIMALS 478 00:22:55,647 --> 00:22:59,982 UPON WHICH THE ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL LIFE OF OUR VILLAGE IS BASED. 479 00:22:59,984 --> 00:23:04,521 AND THANKS TO WHOM THE LONELY AND OLD PEOPLE AREN'T LONELY... 480 00:23:04,523 --> 00:23:06,690 A-A-AND DON'T FEEL OLD, 481 00:23:06,692 --> 00:23:08,692 EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THEM 482 00:23:08,694 --> 00:23:10,961 OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN BURIED BEFORE THE WAR. 483 00:23:10,963 --> 00:23:14,865 AND I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BOAR WAR HERE. 484 00:23:14,867 --> 00:23:17,968 IN FACT, I SUSPECT IT'S JUST BEING PROUD 485 00:23:17,970 --> 00:23:20,971 AND WAGING A RATHER CHILDISH WAR 486 00:23:20,973 --> 00:23:22,472 AGAINST MRS. GOD, 487 00:23:22,474 --> 00:23:24,407 AND SO IT'S NOT SO MUCH A GOOD PLAN 488 00:23:24,409 --> 00:23:26,376 AS THE WORST PLAN 489 00:23:26,378 --> 00:23:28,311 SINCE HITLER'S DAD SAID TO HITLER'S MUM, 490 00:23:28,313 --> 00:23:29,780 "LET'S GO UPSTAIRS, BRUNHILDA. 491 00:23:29,782 --> 00:23:32,015 I'M FEELING A LITTLE SAUCY TONIGHT." 492 00:23:39,693 --> 00:23:42,459 YOU DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT, THEN. 493 00:23:42,461 --> 00:23:44,562 RIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH. 494 00:23:45,565 --> 00:23:47,298 CLASSIC. 495 00:23:52,505 --> 00:23:54,472 LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND OTHERS, 496 00:23:54,474 --> 00:23:57,041 JUST BEFORE WE GO INTO THE CHURCH, 497 00:23:57,043 --> 00:23:59,076 I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO JOIN ME IN A PRAYER. 498 00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:04,281 DEAR LORD, WHO RODE INTO JERUSALEM 499 00:24:04,283 --> 00:24:07,117 ON THE BACK OF A FAITHFUL DONKEY, 500 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,556 BLESS ALL THESE WONDERFUL CREATURES HERE TODAY. 501 00:24:10,558 --> 00:24:14,292 GIVE THEM SHINY COATS AND FULL UDDERS AND TASTY MILK. 502 00:24:14,294 --> 00:24:16,495 AND MAY ONE OF THEM UNEXPECTEDLY WIN 503 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:18,163 THE GRAND NATIONAL NEXT YEAR, 504 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,698 200 TO 1, 505 00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:21,533 WHEN WE'VE ALL HAD A LITTLE FLUTTER. 506 00:24:21,535 --> 00:24:24,069 AMEN. 507 00:24:31,912 --> 00:24:34,179 COME ON, BRUNO. LET'S GO, BOY, LET'S GO. 508 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,848 COME ON, BRUNO. THAT'S A GOOD BOY. 509 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,916 ( door closes ) 510 00:24:39,787 --> 00:24:41,186 IN FOR A PENNY, IN FOR A POUND. 511 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:44,223 COME ON, PATRICIA, OFF TO CHURCH... 512 00:24:44,225 --> 00:24:47,259 YOU LAZY OLD THING. DON'T ARGUE. 513 00:24:58,439 --> 00:24:59,639 HI. 514 00:24:59,641 --> 00:25:02,274 OOH, OOH, SORRY. SORRY. ( cat yowls ) 515 00:25:04,312 --> 00:25:06,312 NOW LET'S START WITH OUR FIRST HYMN, SHALL WE, 516 00:25:06,314 --> 00:25:08,314 WHICH IS, OF COURSE, THE CLASSIC-- 517 00:25:08,316 --> 00:25:10,349 ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL. 518 00:25:10,351 --> 00:25:14,954 ♪ ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL ♪ 519 00:25:14,956 --> 00:25:19,627 ♪ ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL ♪ 520 00:25:19,629 --> 00:25:22,930 ♪ ALL THINGS WISE AND WONDERFUL ♪ 521 00:25:22,932 --> 00:25:27,868 ♪ THE LORD GOD MADE THEM ALL ♪ 522 00:25:27,870 --> 00:25:31,739 ♪ EACH LITTLE FLOWER THAT OPENS ♪ 523 00:25:31,741 --> 00:25:36,209 ♪ EACH LITTLE BIRD THAT SINGS ♪ 524 00:25:36,211 --> 00:25:40,380 ♪ HE MADE THEIR GLOWING COLOURS ♪ 525 00:25:40,382 --> 00:25:45,352 ♪ HE MADE THEIR TINY WINGS ♪ 526 00:25:50,292 --> 00:25:51,626 PLEASE BE SEATED. 527 00:25:51,628 --> 00:25:53,194 SIT. 528 00:25:53,196 --> 00:25:55,564 SIT. 529 00:25:55,566 --> 00:25:57,832 THANK YOU. 530 00:25:57,834 --> 00:26:01,603 AT THIS POINT, IT'S TRADITIONAL TO PRAY FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY, 531 00:26:01,605 --> 00:26:04,138 BUT TODAY, DEAR LORD, WE PRAY INSTEAD 532 00:26:04,140 --> 00:26:06,841 FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY'S ANIMALS AND PETS, 533 00:26:06,843 --> 00:26:10,178 FOR THE QUEEN'S CORGIS, PRINCESS ANNE'S HORSES, 534 00:26:10,180 --> 00:26:13,715 AND FOR ANYTHING THAT GETS SAT ON BY THE DUCHESS OF YORK. 535 00:26:18,855 --> 00:26:22,123 ( plays organ ) 536 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:27,529 ♪ AND THEY CALL IT PUPPY LOVE ♪ 537 00:26:27,531 --> 00:26:34,003 ♪ OH, I GUESS THEY'LL NEVER KNOW ♪ 538 00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:40,810 ♪ HOW A YOUNG HEART REALLY FEELS ♪ 539 00:26:40,812 --> 00:26:46,582 ♪ AND WHY I LOVE YOU SO ♪ 540 00:26:47,619 --> 00:26:49,919 AND THE BLESSING OF GOD ALMIGHTY, 541 00:26:49,921 --> 00:26:52,989 THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT 542 00:26:52,991 --> 00:26:56,959 BE AMONG YOU AND REMAIN WITH YOU ALWAYS. 543 00:26:56,961 --> 00:26:59,763 WELL, I THINK THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT TIME FOR. 544 00:26:59,765 --> 00:27:01,732 I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING, 545 00:27:01,734 --> 00:27:03,233 ESPECIALLY "EWE." 546 00:27:03,235 --> 00:27:05,368 ( baa ) 547 00:27:05,370 --> 00:27:09,773 I'D LIKE TO THANK MOST OF YOU FOR BEHAVING SO WELL, 548 00:27:09,775 --> 00:27:12,442 FOR NOT BITING EACH OTHER, 549 00:27:12,444 --> 00:27:13,576 AND FOR HOLDING OFF FROM GOING TO THE LOO 550 00:27:13,578 --> 00:27:15,812 FOR A WHOLE HOUR. 551 00:27:15,814 --> 00:27:18,414 AND THANKS TO YOUR ANIMALS FOR THE SAME. 552 00:27:34,801 --> 00:27:37,601 YES, AND THE SAME TO YOU. 553 00:27:37,603 --> 00:27:40,538 BYE. BYE. 554 00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:42,907 IT'S WONDERFUL, ISN'T IT? 555 00:27:44,510 --> 00:27:47,478 DOES MAKE ONE WONDER, YES. 556 00:27:58,391 --> 00:28:03,695 ♪ SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY ♪ 557 00:28:03,697 --> 00:28:06,263 ♪ SHALL FOLLOW ME ♪ 558 00:28:06,265 --> 00:28:09,668 ♪ ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE ♪ 559 00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:15,040 ♪ AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE ♪ 560 00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:18,610 ♪ OF THE LORD ♪ 561 00:28:18,612 --> 00:28:22,380 ♪ FOREVER ♪ 562 00:28:24,284 --> 00:28:28,553 ♪ FOREVER ♪ 563 00:28:28,555 --> 00:28:30,422 ...GOT ANY MORE RELIGIOUS JOKES, 564 00:28:30,424 --> 00:28:32,725 BUT I SUPPOSE I HAVE GOT A COUPLE OF ANIMAL ONES. 565 00:28:32,727 --> 00:28:33,792 OH, HURRAH. 566 00:28:33,794 --> 00:28:37,896 WHY DID THE LOBSTER BLUSH? 567 00:28:37,898 --> 00:28:39,064 WHY? 568 00:28:39,066 --> 00:28:41,901 BECAUSE THE SEA WEED. 569 00:28:41,903 --> 00:28:43,837 BECAUSE THE SEAWEED WHAT? 570 00:28:43,839 --> 00:28:46,906 BECAUSE THE SEA WEED. 571 00:28:46,908 --> 00:28:49,075 DID WHAT? 572 00:28:49,077 --> 00:28:52,378 NO, NO. LISTEN. THE LOBSTER WAS IN THE SEA, RIGHT? 573 00:28:52,380 --> 00:28:55,014 AND THE SEA WEED. 574 00:28:55,016 --> 00:28:56,015 WEED. 575 00:28:56,017 --> 00:28:57,483 OH! 576 00:28:59,221 --> 00:29:01,654 NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY. 577 00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:02,822 WHAT? 578 00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:06,760 THAT'S THE RUDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. 579 00:29:06,762 --> 00:29:11,297 ♪ FOREVER ♪ 39163

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