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Previously onYoung Sheldon...I'm Georgie.
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Mandy.
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How about while this runs,
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I take you to dinner?
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00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,965
How old are you?
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GEORGE JR.:
Do not say 17.
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Twenty-one.
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Well, funny seeing you here.
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I'm just taking
a little dinner break.
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Here we go. Two margaritas.
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I love their margaritas.
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Well, this was fun.
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It was for me.
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Nice meeting you.
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I don't want
to get ahead of myself,
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but the strength
of the temperature deviations
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is looking rather spicy.
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How spicy?Five microkelvin.
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Muy caliente.[chuckles]
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When should we publish?
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Not yet. There's only
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a three-sigma significance.
It needs to be higher.
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That'd require a much
more robust signal.
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And you know
what that means.
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Road trip to the
super telescope?
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Road trip
to the super telescope, baby.
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When are we leaving?
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Oh, right. You.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
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♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
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So far, the data
is extremely promising.
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Five microkelvin!
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HAGEMEYER: Ah.
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Well, you seem excited,
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so... cool.
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[chuckles]
We just need
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budget approval
to travel to the radio telescope
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in the Davis Mountains.
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Fine by me.
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Yes!On to more pressing matters.
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Does Sheldon Cooper
have to come?STURGIS: Shouldn't he?
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He is part of the team.
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But isn't there some rule
against minors traveling?
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No.Can there be?
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No, it's better for the project
if he's out there
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in the field with you.
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But isn't it better
for his education
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if he stays here in class?HAGEMEYER: Oh, I think
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that a trip like this
could be very educational
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in its own way.LINKLETTER: Mm.
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You just don't want him
around here bugging you.
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Winner winner
he's-going-with-you dinner.
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Hey, there.
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You're Georgie's friend, right?
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Yeah. Mandy. Hi.[chuckles]
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You grow up around here?I did,
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yeah. And then I, uh,
moved to San Antonio
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for a while after college.
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After college.Yeah.
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A&M. Then I got an internship
at Good Morning San Antonio.
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Uh-oh.MANDY: Then I worked my way up
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to doing
the morning weather report.Hey, y'all.
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Well,
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speak of the devil.
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What's going on, ladies?MEEMAW: Just
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getting to know Mandy here.
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Yeah, I was telling her
about San Antonio.
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Oh, she's from Texas. She
knows all about that stuff.
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Anyways, I'll let you
get back to work.MEEMAW: Well,
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I'll leave you two kids be.
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And listen to me,
calling you young adults "kids."
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[chuckles] Like you were
still teenagers or something.
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00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,309
I wish.
[chuckles]
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Mom, can I have your AAA card?
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00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,012
Why?I need to order
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00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,363
a TripTik
for my road trip to Fort Davis.
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00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,278
Who said you could
go to Fort Davis?
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00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,627
President Hagemeyer.
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Well, I didn't say you could go.
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It's fine. I'll be with
Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter.
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For how long?
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Three days.
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And they're okay with this?
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Why wouldn't they be?
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No reason.
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00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,162
Hmm.Just the same,
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I'm gonna check in with them.
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In the meantime, can I call AAA?
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00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,342
Can it please wait?No.
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[sighs] Card is in my purse.
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00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,392
You're what guys call
"a keeper."
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Mandy seems nice.
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00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,186
She's all right.
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Things getting serious?
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00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,885
I don't know. Why?Just wondering
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00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,497
when you were gonna tell her
your real age.
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00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,716
Age ain't nothing but a number.Yeah,
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00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,589
well, her number's
way bigger than your number.
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00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,373
You ain't never lied
about your age?
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00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,201
I'm a lady. Different rules.
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00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,073
It's not a big deal.
We're just having fun.Yeah,
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00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,814
well, before you have
too much fun,
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you better tell her.
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That sounds less fun.
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Welcome to being an adult.
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It sucks.
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Dr. Linkletter? Mary Cooper.
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00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,523
Ah, Mrs. Cooper.
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00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,568
I assume
this is about the upcoming trip
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00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:27,179
and perhaps your
very understandable reluctance
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00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:28,703
to let Sheldon come.
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00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:32,054
I have to admit
I do have some concerns.
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00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,577
As you should.
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00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,665
So, you're saying you'd prefer
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00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,450
he not go with us?[Mary sighs]
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But he'd be so disappointed.
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Not more disappointed than me.
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00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:44,109
So, you feel good
about him going?
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00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,156
Only if you feel good about it.
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00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,941
You're his parent. I'm just
an absentminded academic
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00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:51,552
who's never had children.
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00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,944
Come on, now.
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00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,381
You've been such a great help
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00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,557
looking after him at college.
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00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,560
Yes, but college isn't the same
as three days in a van.
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00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,735
Huh.
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00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,433
Sheldon can be
a nervous traveler.
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00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,741
Ah. Sounds like
you don't want him to go.
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00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,352
No, I do want him to go.
I just want to make sure
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00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,268
that you and Dr. Sturgis
are okay with it.
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00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,097
We're okay with it.
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00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,317
If you're okay with it.
136
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,493
If you're okay with it,
I'm okay with it.
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00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:22,322
Then it would seem
we're both okay with it.
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00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,323
Okay.
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00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,412
Okay.MARY: Oh,
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00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,152
he's gonna be so happy.
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00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,241
Uh-huh.
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00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,859
You ready
for your road trip?
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00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,991
Yes. I'm plotting
bathroom breaks.
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00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,645
It's tricky because I'm not sure
145
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,431
how frequently Dr. Linkletter
and Dr. Sturgis need to urinate.
146
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,433
Maybe I should call them.
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00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,609
Ooh, I wouldn't. You ask
old guys about their bladder,
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00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,698
you're in for
a long conversation.
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00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,003
What's with the maps?
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00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,136
I'm going with Dr. Sturgis
and Dr. Linkletter
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00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,530
to a radio telescope
in the Davis Mountains.
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00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,096
[sighs]
Of course you are.
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00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,708
Problem?Nope. He gets to do
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00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,405
whatever he wants, and
I'm not even allowed
155
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,059
to go the beach
with my friends.
156
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,843
It's just a school trip.
157
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,845
It's fine.
158
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,152
SHELDON:
Oh. Says here Fort Stockton
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00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,197
is home to the world's
largest roadrunner statue,
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00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,634
which is the stuff
of nightmares.
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00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,679
But they do have a restroom.
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00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,029
[knock on door]
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00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,814
Can I talk to you?
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00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,642
Am I in trouble?No.
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00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,686
It's about a girl.
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00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,601
Oh. You'rein trouble.
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00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,081
Yeah, sure.
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00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,084
I'm not really in trouble.
I'm just dating this girl,
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00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,651
and she's a little older
than me.
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00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,348
What's the problem?
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00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,090
She doesn't exactly know
how much older than me she is.
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00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,657
How much older is she?
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00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,919
Like ten years.
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00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,704
But she's blond
and she's really hot.
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00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,098
Well, that doesn't matter.
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00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,709
I mean, if you're lying to her,
that's not okay.
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00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,276
Hold on.
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00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,496
You're saying if you were my age
and dating this hot girl,
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00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,846
you'd tell her the truth
and blow your chances?
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00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,283
Well, that's not the question
you asked me.
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00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,850
So, what would you really do?
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00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,721
[exhales]
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00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,244
She married?
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00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,376
No.She got kids?
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00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,030
No.I don't see the problem.
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00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,858
Thank you.My pleasure.
187
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,816
You're like the son
I never wanted.
188
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,995
Hey, I know
I don't work here anymore,
189
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,215
but could I use
this office tonight?
190
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,390
No.
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00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,522
Fine.
192
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,566
Did you used to?
193
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,440
[scoffs softly]
No.
194
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,446
You might want to pace yourself.
195
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,404
Our next rest stop
isn't for another...
196
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,232
62 miles.
197
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,234
If anyone needs to go
before that,
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00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,670
I've got a trucker's
buddy in back.
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00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:34,845
What's that?
200
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,543
A bottle you urinate in.
201
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,631
I'm sorry,
202
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,502
are we the Donner Party?
203
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,417
Societal norms are different
on road trips.
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00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,724
Normally, I don't eat junk food,
205
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,553
but here, it's tradition.
206
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:49,904
I'm not even sure
what a chicharron is.
207
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,993
It's the deep-fried skin
of a pig.
208
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:55,083
That seems like something
they should say on the bag.
209
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,606
How about some music?
210
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,434
No one likes music.
How about a car game?
211
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,567
Ooh, I have a fun one
where I say
212
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,656
a formula, and then you have
to say another formula
213
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,440
starting with the last letter
or number
214
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,573
that I said.
So, for example, if I said,[Linkletter groans]
215
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,836
"X" equals negative "B"
plus or minus...Music it is.
216
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,838
[classical music playing]
217
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,845
I'm sorry I can't help out
on driving duty.
218
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,282
You really never learned?I got
219
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:23,590
my permit, but I've never been
comfortable behind the wheel.
220
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,808
That's a shame.
221
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:27,637
I do enjoy the tranquility
of the open road.
222
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,597
I find it produces
a Zen-like calm.
223
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,163
Mm.
224
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,774
You know what else
is calming?
225
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,210
A fun car game.
226
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,472
How about this.
227
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,213
We'll count
out-of-state license plates.
228
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,041
First one to a hundred wins.
229
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,130
Not as fun as mine,
but very well.
230
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,566
Um... Ooh, Oklahoma.
231
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,872
Silently.
232
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,312
[crunching]
233
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,538
[TV playing indistinctly][door opens, closes]
234
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,498
Hey. Is your mom home?
235
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,630
Church.
236
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,066
Oh. What are you up to?
237
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,850
Nothing.
238
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,071
Put your shoes on.
239
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,638
Why?
240
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,509
Let's you and me
go do something fun.
241
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,512
Something I think is fun
or something you think is fun?
242
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,428
Something we both think is fun.
Come on, get in the truck.
243
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,996
You gonna teach me how to drive?No.
244
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,607
You sure? It would just
make me feel so much better
245
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:28,524
about all the stuff
Sheldon gets to do.You're not driving.
246
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,527
I would seriously love you
so much if I could drive.Stop it.
247
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,444
At what age do guys
stop acting like idiots?
248
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,098
Oh, no. What'd I do now?
249
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,056
Not you. Georgie's
250
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:42,103
dating an older woman
and he's lying about his age.
251
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,541
Oh. That rascal.
252
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,716
You already knew.
253
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,413
You don't know what I know.
254
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,850
I see it in your face.
255
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:52,896
[sighs] Fine. Well, he
asked for my advice.
256
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,073
Well, I hope you told him
that he has to come clean.
257
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,685
I did.
258
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,426
Sounds like there's
a "but" on the way.
259
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,386
[sighs] But then he asked
me what I would've done.
260
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,735
Dale.Well, uh,
261
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,389
you don't know
all the facts.
262
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,695
What are the facts?
263
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,305
[clears throat]He said
264
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,699
that she was blond and hot.
265
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,049
And that makes it okay to lie?
266
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:16,659
At my age, no.
267
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,748
At his age?
268
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,230
No.
269
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,449
STURGIS:Does it go straight
like this for a while?
270
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,842
It's Texas.
271
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,715
Goes straight like this
for the rest of our lives.
272
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,586
You thinking of
giving it a try?
273
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,284
Well, there aren't
any cars around.
274
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:36,723
Uh, seems like a good place
to practice.
275
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,508
Excellent. I could
use a break.
276
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,162
This is exciting.
277
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,816
I'm all atingle.
278
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,166
You are not peeing in a bottle.
279
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,606
[engine turns off]Here we are.
280
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,826
Red Lobster?
281
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,479
You love this place.
282
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,177
Holy moly.
283
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,265
It's good, huh?
284
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,483
Unbelievable.
285
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,485
Yeah, when I was,
like, eight.
286
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,445
Well, come on, we had our first
daddy-daughter date here.
287
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,795
Oh, my God,
don't ever call it that again.
288
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,275
What?
289
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,277
I have friends
who come here on actual dates.
290
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,279
They might see us.
291
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,935
Thought it'd be nice.
292
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,284
[indistinct chatter]
293
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:18,199
Can we please go
anywhere else?
294
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,941
[sighs]Fine.
295
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,293
You know, they have
those cheddar biscuits.Dad.
296
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,164
Fine.[engine starts]
297
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,688
STURGIS: I'm doing it.
298
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,646
This is going quite well.
299
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,126
Feel free to pick up the pace.
300
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,650
A butterfly just passed us.STURGIS: Well,
301
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,174
what's the speed limit?75.
302
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,829
And I'm going...
303
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:40,874
ten.
304
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,354
I'll pick up the pace.
305
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,965
Speaking of slow-moving
transportation,
306
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,271
did you know that the slowest
express train in the world
307
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,360
is the Glacier Express
in Switzerland?
308
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:51,232
I spent a month
in Switzerland at CERN.
309
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,755
[thud]STURGIS: Oh, no!
310
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,757
I hit an armadillo.
311
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,150
So? Just keep driving.
312
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,151
[seat belt clicks]STURGIS: No,
313
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,675
I can't. I have to check on it.
314
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,157
[car door closes]Is he hoping it's
alive or dead?
315
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,680
Alive.
316
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,029
Ugh.
317
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,517
Oh, no, what have I done?
318
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,519
It's still moving.
319
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,563
Like we should be. Let's go.
320
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,827
We need a box and a towel.
321
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,872
We don't need a coffin.
The birds will eat it.
322
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,919
It's to keep it safe
until we find help.
323
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,182
John, these animals
carry all kinds of diseases.
324
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,662
That's what the towel's for.
325
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,229
This is Texas.
Armadillo roadkill
326
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,970
is practically the state animal.
327
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,974
So, where you want to go?
328
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,847
I am up for anything.
329
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,675
I was thinking the bar,
but I go there so much.
330
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,329
What about a movie?
331
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:49,594
Or we could just go back
to your place.
332
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,335
Oh.
333
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,076
That-That'd be amazing.
334
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,078
Well, amazing's
a lot of pressure,
335
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,341
but I'll give it a shot.
[chuckles]
336
00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,691
♪ I don't know who I am...
337
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,693
Listen,
338
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,826
when I said I moved out
of my parents' place,
339
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,741
that was true.
340
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,875
But I'm kind of living
in their garage.
341
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,052
Well, my parents are
in the bedroom next to mine,
342
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,270
so it's your place
or nothing.
343
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,098
My place works.
344
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,839
[faucet running]
345
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,710
[faucet turns off]
346
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:22,105
Don't get bitten. I'm not
wrapping you in a towel, too.
347
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,846
I'm just giving it water.
348
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,457
Okay, there's a firehouse
28 miles away.
349
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,198
I bet they can help.
350
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,722
I was thinking we'd leave it
on their doorstep.
351
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,813
This isn't a joke.
I injured this creature,
352
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,424
so I have to take care of it.
Do you understand?
353
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,296
Yes, sir.
354
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:44,388
GEORGE SR.:
Well, it's not lobster, but...
355
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,565
least your friends won't see us.
356
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,741
Sorry.
357
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,787
It's okay.
358
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,877
You're just getting older.
359
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,879
I guess.
360
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,751
Sure I was a jackass
to my parents, too.
361
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:00,883
Hey!
362
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,279
How's your burger?
363
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,628
So good.
364
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,109
It is pretty good.
365
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,764
Hey, maybe this can be our new
spot for daddy-daughter dates.
366
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,115
Please stop saying that.What?
367
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,333
Daddy-daughter dates?
368
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:17,595
Yes.
369
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,684
Mm. Okay.
370
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:22,644
What would you like me to call
our daddy-daughter dates?
371
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,515
[chuckles]:
You're so annoying.
372
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,431
[chuckles]
373
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,477
["Cry for the Bad Man"
by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing]
374
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,350
[toilet flushes]
375
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,265
LINKLETTER:
This isn't
376
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,094
exactly the firehouse
I was expecting.
377
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,922
Are minors allowed in here?
378
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,228
No one should be
allowed in here.
379
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,273
I'm sure they have
a phone we can use.
380
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,275
Excuse me, barkeep?
381
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,277
Could we get
some help over here?
382
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,844
And don't say "barkeep."
383
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:53,327
♪ Well, he knocked me down,
but I'm on my feet... ♪
384
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,285
Y'all must be lost.
385
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:58,810
Oh, we're not lost. You can't
get lost with a AAA TripTik.
386
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,857
I mean, I don't know
where you're trying to be,
387
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,641
but this ain't it.
388
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,340
Message received.
We'll be on our way.Please.
389
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,996
We have an injured armadillo
that needs medical assistance.
390
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,129
You brought that filthy thing
into my bar?
391
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,044
And now we're taking
it out. Let's go.
392
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:17,177
If we could just use your phone.Look,
393
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,526
you seem like nice folk,
394
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:21,007
but Yankees ain't popular
around here.
395
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,835
I suggest you be on your way.
396
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,228
Sorry to have troubled you.
397
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,839
Let's go.Excuse me.
398
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:29,624
My colleagues
may be from the North,
399
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,409
but for your information,
I'm a Texan, born and bred.
400
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,455
I know that real chili
has no beans,
401
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,196
and when my meemaw says,
"Bless your heart,"
402
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,067
she means
something very different.
403
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,374
Now, my friend here
is in need of help,
404
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,419
and since our state motto
is literally "friendship,"
405
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:45,031
may he please use your phone?
406
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,423
♪ Well, I work...
407
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,078
Well, dang.
408
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,038
♪ Eight when I am able...
409
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,605
And could I trouble you
for a yellow pages?
410
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,520
Oh, boy.
411
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,004
MEEMAW:
Oh, Georgie.
412
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,093
I'm so disappointed in you.
413
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,055
Is everything okay?
414
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,102
Yeah. Very okay.
415
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,540
Tell her
before things go too far.
416
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,107
DALE:
Would you leave the kid alone?
417
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:20,283
He's just having some fun.He's lying,
418
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,242
and she deserves to know.
419
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,417
Just let it go.
420
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,722
No. He's feeling guilty,
421
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,246
and he's gonna
do the right thing.
422
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,725
DALE:
Connie, the second
423
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,119
that girl's shirt comes
off, it's game over.
424
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,078
No. My grandson has
425
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,080
more integrity
than you're giving him credit...
426
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,734
GEORGE JR.:Amazing.
427
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,214
[exhales]
428
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,911
Boy, I am stuffed.
429
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,653
You know, if you're too full
to drive, I could help.
430
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,960
You're not driving my truck.
431
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,788
Come on.
Just here in the parking lot?
432
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:47,919
No.
433
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,660
Please, Daddy?
434
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,316
I know what you're doing.
435
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,406
Creating memories
that'll last a lifetime?
436
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,105
[exhales]
437
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,760
Okay. Foot on the brake.
438
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,415
Which one's that?
439
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,462
Oh, boy.
The one on the left.
440
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,768
Got it.All right. Now
441
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,770
pull the shifter toward you
442
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,164
and then down to "D,"
like this. Here.
443
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,036
[gear shifts]All right?
444
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,081
Now, the most important step.
445
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,998
Do not ever
tell your mother we did this.
446
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,608
I'm not an idiot. Let's go.
447
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,610
[sighs]
All right. Now
448
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,177
take your foot off the brake
449
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,049
and gently put it on the...[tires screech]
450
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,920
MISSY:
[laughs] I'm driving!
451
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,535
I know you're
a human hospital,
452
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:42,235
but the animal hospital
isn't answering their phone.
453
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:46,108
Well, is there a doctor who
has a soft spot for pets?
454
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,720
Maybe a nurse with pictures
of cats on her desk?
455
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,896
You can hang up the phone, John.
456
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,550
Why?
457
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,596
I think you know why.
458
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:59,121
♪ But only would I...
459
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,776
Thank you for your time.
460
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,261
Well, that's a shame.
461
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,914
I'm sorry.
462
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:13,092
It's just an armadillo, right?
463
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,268
It didn't seem that way
to you in the van.
464
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:18,097
I know it's silly, but...
465
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,926
when I saw it lying there
all bald and helpless,
466
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,015
I thought,
467
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,235
"That's gonna be me one day."
468
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:31,284
That is the most damn depressing
thing I have ever heard.
469
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:35,288
The end of life
does tend to be depressing.
470
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:38,160
In New Orleans, they embrace
the tradition of a jazz funeral
471
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,728
where the deceased
are celebrated through music.
472
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:42,643
That's true.
473
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,819
Barkeep, do you happen to have
474
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,908
any Dixieland jazz
on the jukebox
475
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:50,129
to celebrate the life
of an armadillo?
476
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,174
Y'all need to leave now.
477
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,002
MAN: Turn away from sin...ADULT SHELDON:
After a quick burial
478
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,569
[radio changing stations] behind the bar,
479
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,266
we were back on the road.
480
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,921
Dr. Sturgis tried to find
some appropriate music
481
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,531
for a proper send-off.
482
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:05,231
Three Christian talk shows
and a whole lot of static later,
483
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,494
he settled on what he declared
484
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,410
the Dixieland jazz
of West Texas.
485
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,455
["El Son de la Negra
/ Guadalajara" playing]
486
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,153
Mariachi.
487
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,335
Vaya con dios,armadillo.
488
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,685
Vaya con dios.
489
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,470
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
490
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:31,474
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
491
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,520
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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