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1
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,877
Hey, you asleep?
2
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,665
[coughing]
3
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,539
[coughs louder]
4
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,237
What?
Oh.
5
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,891
Good, you're up.
6
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,589
Hey, uh, where should I take
Holly for our date?
7
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,114
You fake bronchitis for this?
8
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:29,855
Man, you're a romantic guy.
9
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,031
Help me out.
10
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,250
Take her to the beach.
11
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,252
Write her poems in the sand.
12
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,472
Let the waves take the poems.
13
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,256
Good night.
14
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,519
Uh, yeah, I don't know.
15
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:42,781
What about skydiving?
16
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,392
That is not a date.
17
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,307
That is what you do when
you want to deliver soldiers
18
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,830
inside enemy territory.
19
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,746
Well, then what, man?
20
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:53,444
I don't want to be like
every other guy she's dated.
21
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,359
[sighs]Okay.
22
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,057
[grunts]
23
00:00:57,187 --> 00:01:00,886
I was saving this one
for myself, but you can have it.
24
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:07,719
Rent a villa on a cliff
that overlooks a tea field.
25
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,634
There's no cliffs in Ohio.
26
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,593
And there's no magic
in your heart.
27
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:15,379
What about camping?
28
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,555
Great, perfect. Good night.
29
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,210
Yes, camping seems good.
30
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,385
Just her and me
31
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,257
and the great outdoors.
32
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,520
[exhales]
33
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,218
No, no, I can't live with this.
34
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,699
Why would you sleep on the
ground when you don't have to?
35
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,396
I think she'd like it.
36
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,832
There is nothing to like.
37
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:35,791
You can get lost.
You can run out of food.
38
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,184
You can be eaten by a bear.
39
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,229
You can get killed
by somebody named Jason.
40
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,796
They make those movies
for a reason, Riley,
41
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,928
to warn young lovers.
42
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,192
Yeah, camping.
43
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,411
Definitely camping.
44
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,021
[groans]
45
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,112
Where you going?The bathroom.
46
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:55,115
Smart people do it indoors.
47
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:57,378
♪
48
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,857
♪ Oh!
49
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,740
[sighs]
50
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:14,351
Fire's going.
Want to unpack?
51
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,614
Whiskey.
Ooh.
52
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,268
Hot dogs.
53
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,401
We're unpacked.
54
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,054
I only see one sleeping bag.
55
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,273
Got a problem with that?
56
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:24,709
No, ma'am.
57
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,450
Let's get these dogs going.
58
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,799
Yeah.
59
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,714
I'll have this ready
for you in a second.
60
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,629
I'm good.
61
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,241
Whoa. Where'd you get that?
62
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,330
Would you believe I took it
off a guy in a fight?
63
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,809
Yeah, I would.
64
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,160
I was in Manila
with some Navy buddies.
65
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,639
We pissed off some pirates.
66
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,728
You're kidding.Of course I'm kidding.
67
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,165
I got it from a buddy at TSA.
68
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:48,255
They have, like,
thousands of knives.
69
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,692
Did you camp much growing up?
70
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,564
We lived in an apartment.
71
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,741
I used to camp out
on the fire escape.
72
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,004
You know, it's nice
to look up and see stars
73
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,181
instead of wet laundry.
74
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,315
[exhales]
75
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,797
You know what I like about you?
76
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,973
Better be a long list.[chuckles]
77
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,715
You haven't once said,
"Where's the bug spray?"
78
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,370
"How can you buy hot dogs
and no buns?"
79
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,502
"You call that a toilet?"
80
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,243
Civilians.
81
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,811
Can't live with them,
sworn to protect their freedom.
82
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,900
[laughs]:Yeah.
83
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,863
[exhales]
84
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,692
You think we have time to have
sex before these hot dogs cook?
85
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,652
God, I hope not.
86
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,702
So, what are we thinking today?
87
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:48,402
Red? Yellow? Green?
[gasps]
88
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,708
Should we just go
full traffic light?
89
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,798
What about completely gray?
90
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,366
Then I could tell people I'm 60,
and everybody would be like,
91
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,803
"Whoa, you look amazing."
92
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,501
Yeah, I'm just gonna
surprise you.
93
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:02,938
What about this?
94
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,244
Don't you think
this would look good?
95
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,289
Nah, short hair makes me
look like an elf.
96
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,073
I meant for me.
97
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:09,553
But, Hazel, you have
such beautiful hair.
98
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,903
I don't want beautiful hair.
I want cool hair.
99
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,731
Well, I think your
hair is very cool.
100
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,255
[groans]
101
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:16,691
Aunt Lizzie, don't you think
102
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,040
I would look good
with this hair?
103
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:21,130
I think maybe
this is between you
104
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,350
and the lady behind me
with the scissors.
105
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,700
That cut would be
a big change, baby.
106
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,571
Why don't you think
about it for a while?
107
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,747
I have been.
In fact, I calculated,
108
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,271
and if I have half as much hair,
109
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,708
you'll save $3,000 a year
in shampoo.
110
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,276
Multiply that by six,
and that's college money.
111
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,929
If that's your math,
I don't see you getting
112
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,583
into any colleges.
113
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,759
Mom.Honey.
114
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,588
I give people haircuts every
day they end up regretting.
115
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,286
Doesn't that say
more about you than me?
116
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,157
Danger. Danger.
117
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,421
Trust me, this is
one of the few things
118
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,249
in the world I am
an expert in.
119
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,599
That's not true. You're also
an expert in making me sad.
120
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:58,036
Wow.
121
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,386
The answer's no.
122
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,083
You're so mean.
123
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,390
[sighs]
124
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,087
Thanks for backing me up.
125
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,871
We all have our roles to play.
126
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:10,745
I'm the cool aunt,
and you're mean.
127
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,921
Thanks.
128
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,273
[exhales]
Good morning.
129
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,883
Ah, morning.
130
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:22,452
How was your romantic date
squatting over a hole?
131
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,149
It was incredible.
132
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,978
Did you know Holly's
an all-state softball pitcher?
133
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:30,286
I don't even know
what softball is.
134
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,810
And get this,
she doesn't like chocolate.
135
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,899
I don't like chocolate.I know, and I always thought
that was weird,
136
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,814
but now I think it's adorable.
137
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,340
Ha. Riley Jaan,
138
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:41,819
I think you are in love.
139
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,604
You think?
140
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,475
Every time you say her name,
141
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:49,827
your eyes light up like there is
a cartoon bird on your shoulder.
142
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:54,484
After Vanessa, I never imagined
a future with anyone,
143
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,835
but man, when Holly says
she wants to buy a food truck,
144
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,968
I see myself driving
that food truck.
145
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,361
Even though
she specifically said
146
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:02,797
only she gets to drive
the food truck.
147
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,015
[laughs]
148
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,408
This is big.
149
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,757
It is, isn't it?
150
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,019
Ah. Rub your hand on my head.
151
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,673
I could use some
of that good luck.
152
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,546
I want to do something
to show her how I feel.
153
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,070
I think you have two choices.Mm-hmm.
154
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,854
Go simple or go big.
155
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,203
Go on.
156
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,031
If you go simple,
157
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:24,035
give her a perfect dark red
apple and say it's your heart.
158
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:28,605
If you go big, give her a giant
ruby and say it's your heart.
159
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,696
I should write this down.Mm-hmm.
160
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,701
[sportscast playing
over cell phone]
161
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,225
Do you have anything
I can break or set on fire?
162
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,880
Hell yeah, I do. Why?
163
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,230
Mom won't let me cut my hair.
164
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,798
It's my hair. It's my head.
165
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,801
Yeah, but you're her daughter,
so it's kind of her head, too.
166
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,803
Well, it stinks.
167
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:56,894
Well, before you know it,
you'll be on your own,
168
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,070
making your own decisions.
169
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:02,552
And you'll wish you had someone
around to tell you what to do.
170
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,728
I doubt it.
[chuckles]
171
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,426
Here's the thing.
172
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:10,821
When you start making decisions,
you start having regrets.
173
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,867
Like what?
174
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,871
Yeah, when I was younger,
175
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,352
I had the chance to be
a roadie for Whitesnake.
176
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:21,441
Really?
177
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:22,529
Yeah.
178
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,487
What's Whitesnake?
179
00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,796
As decent and gifted
a collection of musicians
180
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:30,841
you'll ever meet.
181
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,931
Point is,
182
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:37,021
before you know it, you'll have
nothing but decisions.
183
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,588
I can't wait.
184
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,764
[chuckles]
You think that.
185
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:44,420
Then you get car insurance
without collision.
186
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,944
You pick the cable provider
without baseball.
187
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,600
You go to the grocery store,
but you spend too much time
188
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,647
deciding what you want to cook,
you get hungry,
189
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:56,476
you end up eating a rotisserie
chicken in the parking lot
190
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,565
on the tailgate of your truck,
191
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,305
and the kid
collecting carts is like,
192
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,003
"That poor bastard
couldn't even make it home
193
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,179
to eat his rotisserie chicken."
194
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,532
All right, nice talking to you.
195
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:18,628
♪ Here I go again on my own
196
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:22,763
♪ Going down the only road
I've ever known. ♪
197
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,157
[buzzing]
198
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,724
So, what do you think
I should get?
199
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:31,032
I just don't know.
They are all very romantic.
200
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,729
Oh, look at this barbed wire.
201
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,558
It says you would climb
over barbed wire for her.
202
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,518
Look at this tiger. It says
you would fight a tiger for her.
203
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,477
How late is this place open?
This could take a while.
204
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:43,958
Uh, you want me
to fix your eagle?
205
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,350
What's wrong with it?
206
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,136
Nothing. It's perfect.
207
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,791
Maybe I just get her name.
208
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,444
Her name? Riley,
209
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,359
look at this wall of romance.
210
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,840
Y-You should get a beach
at sunset with a palm tree,
211
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,538
and underneath it, two lovers.
212
00:08:58,668 --> 00:08:59,669
That's you and Holly.
213
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,192
I don't know.
214
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,629
Or maybe get these two dragons.
215
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,718
That's also you and Holly.
216
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,111
Yeah, I'm just gonna
go with "Holly."
217
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,852
Maybe here on my ribs.
218
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:11,376
Or maybe it could
start on your ribs,
219
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:15,206
wrap around your back
and end at your heart?
220
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:17,382
It's only five letters.
221
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,647
What's her last name?
222
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,567
Oh, that's not kale
in there, is it?
223
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,874
Can we not have
the kale conversation?
224
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,397
I like iceberg.
225
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,834
I know.
It knows what it is.
226
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,400
It's not trying to be all fancy.
227
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,359
I know.
228
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,885
Check it out.
229
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,060
Boom!
230
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,671
[whoops]
231
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,847
Oh, on the ribs. Did it hurt?
232
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,588
Yeah.
233
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,894
Oh, my God, why did you do that?
234
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,070
Because it's awesome.
235
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,245
Does she know about this?
236
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,030
No, it's a surprise.
237
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,249
Big surprise.
238
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,600
Oh, dude, this may be the
dumbest thing you've ever done.
239
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,384
No, it's romantic.
240
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:05,082
No, it's stupid.
You're gonna freak her out.
241
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,215
Why are you the enemy
of romance?
242
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,740
I want her to know
I'm crazy about her.
243
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,612
Well, she'll definitely
get the crazy part.
244
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:14,875
You don't know her like I do.
245
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,834
She's cool, laid-back
and independent.
246
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,836
Okay, you know her a little.
247
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:22,534
And this tattoo
makes you look weird,
248
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,624
desperate and really clingy.
249
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,582
It does?
250
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,976
Oh, yeah, now I see it.
[chuckles]
251
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,847
Too bad. I liked her.
252
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,370
Okay, you guys are crazy.
253
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,459
She's not gonna break up
with me over a tattoo.
254
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,157
Spilt milk, buddy. Let it go.
255
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,813
I tried to talk him out of it.
256
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,736
How do we play this off
so I don't seem clingy?
257
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,260
Ah. Dump her.
258
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,654
I'm trying to stay with her.
259
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,046
Okay. Uh...
260
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:57,744
Tell her your grandma's
name is Holly.
261
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,702
Isn't that still kind of weird?
262
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,879
It's very weird
but not as weird.
263
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,447
What if she breaks up with me
and I'm stuck with this tattoo?
264
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:06,927
Date blind women?
265
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,407
And waste a million sit-ups?
No, thank you.
266
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,975
You could cover yourself
with tattoos
267
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:15,065
so it is just one of many
stupid things on your body.
268
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:18,286
Okay, that is the best idea yet,
but I'm seeing her tonight.
269
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,854
If you sleep with her,
keep your clothes on.
270
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,899
Yes! That is the kind
of out-of-the-box thinking
271
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,379
I'm looking for.Mm-hmm.
272
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,298
Let's get those clothes off.
273
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,342
[laughs]
274
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,648
Uh, yeah.
275
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,258
Uh, hang on, hang on one sec.
276
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,956
[hums softly]
277
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,698
What are you doing?
278
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,483
Uh, safety.
You've seen Backdraft,right?
279
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:46,401
It may not have affected me
as, uh, deeply as you.
280
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:02,678
If there's another shirt under
this, I'm gonna be really upset.
281
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,421
Uh, you know what I always
thought would be sexy?
282
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,031
What?
283
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,599
'Cause I probably have one.
284
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,342
Shirt. No pants.
285
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,780
Like...
286
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,782
Donald Duck?
287
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:23,438
Yeah.
288
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,789
I want to Donald Duck you.
289
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,749
Okay.Okay.
290
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,362
[Hazel crying]
291
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,365
Hazel, you okay?
292
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:38,714
HAZEL:
No.
293
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,151
I hope my stories
didn't make you sad.
294
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,719
It's okay. I-I had a good life.
295
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,547
Go away.
296
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,549
Come on, Hazel, what's going on?
297
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:52,989
Oh.
298
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:58,386
Uh, I made one of those regrets
you were talking about.
299
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,127
Lizzie!
300
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,696
What's going-- Oh, wow.
301
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,046
Mom's gonna kill me.
302
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,222
Yeah, she might.
303
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,485
Okay, sounds like you got this.
304
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,575
Oh, come here.
305
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,751
I thought it would be easy
'cause I watch Mom do it,
306
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:16,970
but it's not easy.
307
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,798
It's hard.
308
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,714
Can I tell you a secret?
309
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:26,196
When I was in eighth grade,
310
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,938
I thought I could
bleach my own hair,
311
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:31,027
and I thought I could
use real bleach,
312
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,899
and that is not true.
313
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,248
What happened?
314
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,945
It burned out
a giant chunk of my hair
315
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,773
all the way to the scalp.
316
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,906
I had to wear a hat to school
for three months.
317
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:43,083
They even let me wear it
during the Pledge of Allegiance.
318
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,520
Do you think Mom's gonna be mad?
319
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:48,784
Has your mom ever been
mad at you before?
320
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,177
Yeah.
321
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,353
And did she stay mad?
322
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,528
No.
323
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,791
Because she loves you.
324
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:02,015
That's nature's way of making
sure children become adults.
325
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,106
Will you come with me
to tell her?
326
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,847
Sure.
327
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,066
Do you still have that hat?
328
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,286
It's a beret.
329
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,983
Ugh.I know.
330
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,335
Yeah.
331
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,816
Hey, Dad, come here.
332
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:21,948
I want to show you something.
333
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:23,775
What's up?
Um,
334
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,082
as you may recall,
I got a tattoo.
335
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,475
I do recall.
336
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,303
Uh, and I'm having
second thoughts.
337
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,392
So, uh, looking for a
way to get rid of it
338
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,959
before Holly sees it.
339
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,309
I told him he should burn it
with a little bit of acid
340
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,964
from the battery of my car,
but he's being a baby.
341
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,879
I'm not being a baby.
342
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:43,752
So, here's my
second-best idea.
343
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,668
We turn "Holly"
into "Hazel."
344
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:49,584
Uh, what?
345
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,151
Keep the "H" the way it is.
346
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:53,153
The "O" becomes an "A."
347
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,155
First "L" becomes a "Z."
348
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,114
Second "L" becomes an "E."
349
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,508
Now, this is where it gets
a little sticky.
350
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:05,687
The "Y" becomes an "L"
with a little heart at the top.
351
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,167
Huh.
352
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,517
I mean, it's better, right?
353
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,519
I'd go battery acid.
354
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:12,520
[groans]
355
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,695
Chicks dig scars.
356
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,350
Mm. Listen to your father.
357
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,270
I don't think I can do this.
358
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,836
Yes, you can.
359
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,316
Your only other choice
is to run away from home.
360
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,318
That's on the table?
361
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,626
Not anymore.
362
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:36,239
Hey, Lizzie.
Hi, Elmer Fudd.
363
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:42,332
Hazel, is there something
you want to say to your mom?
364
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,640
You're the best,
and you're pretty.
365
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:47,990
Well, thank you.
366
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,210
I'm gonna go to my room
for six months.
367
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:51,733
Hazel.
368
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,265
I cut my own hair.
I know you told me not to do it.
369
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,224
And I screwed it up,
and it looks dumb,
370
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,226
and you were right,
and I was wrong.
371
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,402
[sighs]
Show me.
372
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,404
I don't want to.
373
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,493
It can't be worse than the hat.
374
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,065
Oh, my God, what did you use,
a steak knife?
375
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,240
Actually, sh...
376
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,372
No one asked you, cool aunt.
377
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,897
Okay.
378
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,248
Damage is done.
379
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,858
And you know what?
380
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,903
This is partly my fault.
381
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,775
It is?
382
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,864
I should've let you do this.
383
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:40,434
I was just scared that short
hair would make you look older,
384
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:44,394
and that's hard on me 'cause
you're growing up so fast.
385
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,266
Can you fix it?
386
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:47,876
Yeah.
387
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,660
Go get your hair wet
and grab my kit,
388
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,445
and we'll see
if we can clean this up.
389
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,403
Thanks, Mom.Mm-hmm.
390
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,973
Nicely done.
391
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,844
Thanks for giving me a heads-up.
392
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,891
I would've thrown a chair
through a window.
393
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,807
She's young.
You'll have other chances.
394
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,593
[knock at door]
395
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,644
I did this.
396
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,125
Wow.I, uh,
397
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,605
may have gotten
a little ahead of myself.
398
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:22,911
You think?
399
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,913
Yeah.
[clears throat]
400
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,828
So...
401
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,569
You're such an idiot.
402
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,006
Like an idiot
you never want to see again
403
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:35,489
or an idiot
you're kind of fond of?
404
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,144
Come here.
405
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,667
[exhales]
406
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,932
Just so you know, I'm gonna
make fun of you forever.
407
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,195
Forever?
408
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:48,067
Little clingy.
[chuckles]
409
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,164
Hey, can you hand me
the crescent wrench?
410
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,862
Holly's middle
name is Charlotte.
411
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,168
Oh, geez.
412
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,213
You're useless
when you're in love.
413
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:08,522
Oh. Hey, here she comes.
414
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,047
Hey, baby.
Hey, guys.
415
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,093
Hey. What's up?
416
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,661
You tell me.
417
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,055
Hold on a moment.
418
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,535
The pressure
in your tires looks low.
419
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,189
Oh, yeah.
420
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,191
I could see that
from a mile away.
Mm-hmm.
421
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,715
Seriously? That's all
you have to say to me?
422
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,543
I'm sorry, baby, of course.
423
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,458
I love your jeans.
424
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,461
Yeah, they look fly.
425
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,115
That's what the kids say, right?
426
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,986
Yeah, I think so.Yeah.
427
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,858
My hair.
I'm talking about my hair.
428
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,991
Oh, well, y-you had a helmet on.
429
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,819
Don't feel bad.
430
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:46,125
You guys are jerks.
431
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,562
Oh, come here. You look great.
432
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,911
So grown-up.
433
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,043
Yeah, like a little
weather lady.
434
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:55,569
Hazel. Are those new shoes?
435
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:58,702
Too late. We already
did the thing.
Oh, okay.
436
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:06,101
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
437
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,194
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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