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1
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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,763
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,849
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,601
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,395
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,272
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,442
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,862
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,657
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,666
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
11
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:46,254
I know there's a lot of things
going on
12
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,464
and we're all a little bit worried.
13
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,967
I've heard some of you express
concern over current events,
14
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:53,720
so I think we should
discuss what's happening.
15
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,346
It is true --
16
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,932
Rick and I did get into a fight
over the weekend.
17
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,643
Now, I don't know what you've
heard and what you haven't,
18
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:05,815
but Rick was wrong, okay?
19
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,485
He's the one that needs
to apologize.
20
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,155
We're not worried about that.
We're all worried about Putin.
21
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,658
Putin? It was just a little
noise when I pulled out.
22
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,286
Nobody was "pootin," okay?
23
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,288
And anyway, you kids shouldn't
be talking about that stuff!
24
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,790
Geez!
25
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,166
Uh, kids,
I need your attention!
26
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,336
We're doing an emergency drill
this morning, m'kay.
27
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,838
A drill?
28
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,381
M'kay, now, we haven't done
these in a long time,
29
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:35,178
but we need to be prepared if
the Russians decide to nuke us.
30
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,847
Now, when you
hear this sound...
31
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,517
The Russians are nuking us.
32
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,852
...then you need to quickly
and calmly get out of your seats
33
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:47,440
and get to the gymnasium, m'kay?
34
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,943
The Russians are nuking us.
35
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,865
The Russians are
fucking nuking us! Go!
36
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,201
Go, go, go!
We're all gonna die!
37
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,870
Come on! Come on!
The missiles are coming!
38
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,247
They've lost their minds!
Run!
39
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,374
Get to the gym!
Get to the gym!
40
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,167
Come on!
41
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,585
Come on, we're getting nuked!
Everyone to the gym!
42
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,921
It's our only chance!
43
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,632
Under the bleachers! Go!
44
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,301
Come on, move!
Everyone's going to die!
45
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,601
M'kay.
That was...22 seconds.
46
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,229
That's not bad, m'kay.
47
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:31,025
Now, if this were real,
we would just all stay here
48
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,653
and wait to hear from
our government and maybe,
49
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,697
maybe listen to
some appropriate music,
50
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,990
like we did back in the '80s.
51
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,451
Take your baby by the hand ♪
52
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,164
♪ Do the next thing
that you feel
53
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,083
I said... ♪
54
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,253
Narrator: Starring...
55
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,928
...and the comedy of...
56
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,806
Dancehall days, love ♪
57
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,272
Hi, Katie!
58
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,732
Hi, Kelly!
59
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,901
Oh, my gosh.
Pixie looks so pretty today.
60
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,194
Thanks!
I braided my pony's tail.
61
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,240
Hi, Josslyn!
Hi, Staci Mae!
62
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,159
Girls: Hi, Butters.
63
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,577
Alright, pony riders.
64
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,870
We've got a big competition
this weekend,
65
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,955
so let's line up
and do our rails.
66
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:28,833
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
67
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,252
Don't wave at us,
Butters!
68
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,505
Judges hate when they wave.
He needs to not do that.
69
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,884
Okay, Staci Mae, nice trot.
Here comes the jump.
70
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,554
Good. Very nice.
Okay, next.
71
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,933
Good, Heather.
72
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,518
That's good control of Sunshine. Good.
73
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,729
Okay, Butters, come on.
You're next.
74
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,148
Come on, Butters.
Come on!
75
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,404
Oh! He clunked it!
76
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,113
It's okay.
It's okay.
77
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,324
Good job, Butters.
Good job.
78
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,742
Fuck!
79
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,660
We should just pull Butters
out of dressage.
80
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,994
He sucks at this.
81
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,038
Oh, we can't pull him out.
He loves it.
82
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:10,750
Don't you understand, Linda?
I'm scared.
83
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,710
The big competition
is this weekend.
84
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,171
Butters will be going up
against the Russians.
85
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,341
Oh, look, here comes
the Russian now.
86
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,803
- Boo!
- Boo!
87
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,138
Boo, Russia!
Booooo!
88
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,182
Hey, what are you booing
a little kid for?
89
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:26,891
Don't you know
who that is?
90
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,894
That's Dan Solokov's kid!
91
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:33,231
Dan Solokov who works at
the Ace Hardware over in Meeker?
92
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:37,527
Even the kid's pony
is a Russian Etruscan!
93
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,362
You piece-a-shit communist!
94
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,073
You won't take our freedoms
away! Boo, Russia!
95
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:45,368
Games without frontiers ♪
96
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,037
♪ War without tears ♪
97
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,540
Jeux sans frontieres ♪
98
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,001
Yeah?
99
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,461
Mr. Mackey, I'd like to
have a word with you.
100
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,797
Oh, yeah, yes, of course,
PC Principal.
101
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,841
I see that you've, uh,
called for another
102
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,051
nuclear emergency drill
this afternoon?
103
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,555
Yes, that's right.
We are going to be prepared.
104
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,849
Well, Mr. Mackey, this is
the seventh drill
105
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,809
that we've done
in two days.
106
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,687
And I see that you also put in
the budget for a bomb shelter
107
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,148
and 20 VHS copies
of "Red Dawn."
108
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,609
VHS is still really the best
format when you think about it.
109
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:22,280
Mr. Mackey, I'm starting to
worry that this is sort of...
110
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,906
nostalgic for you,
111
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,742
like you're kind of
enjoying this.
112
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,244
Enjoying it?
113
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,830
My job is
to have this school ready.
114
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,417
Kids need to know what Russia
is capable of.
115
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,754
Ah-staff meen-ya
if pahk-oye.
116
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,631
You speak Russian?
117
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,758
No, but I watched
"Hunt For Red October"
118
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,343
like 200 times.
119
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,596
Mr. Mackey,
I'm not asking you.
120
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,890
I'm telling you --
stop with all the drills
121
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,267
and stop putting ideas
into our students' heads.
122
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,102
No, you --
you're right, of course.
123
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,813
I'm --
I'm over-reacting.
124
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,148
Okay.
125
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,025
M'kay.
126
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,973
Alright, Butters,
you've just got two more days
127
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,016
before
the dressage competition.
128
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,644
I'll do my best, Dad.
129
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,395
You're gonna have to do better
than that, Butters.
130
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,273
You see that little Russian kid
over there?
131
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,568
That kid doesn't
give a shit about you.
132
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,320
He just wants to win
133
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,406
and take what little patriotism
our country has left.
134
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,117
That kid?
135
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,326
You didn't live through the
Cold War, Butters, but we did.
136
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,870
This tournament is
gonna be turned into
137
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,707
a political spectacle,
and you have
to win.
138
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,460
Otherwise, I'm afraid we'll
have to give your pony away
139
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,796
to communists who slaughter
ponies and donkeys
140
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,339
to make skin cream.
141
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,842
That's mostly the Chinese,
but a commie's a commie.
142
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,385
Better dead than red, Butters.
143
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,511
Oh, Jesus!
Not Melancholy!
144
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,932
Now, that little prick
is trying to intimidate you.
145
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:17,145
I want you to go in there and
show him how an American rides.
146
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,480
Come on, boy!
147
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:31,033
Butters! Butters, what the hell
are you doing?!
148
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,201
Well, I dunno!
149
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,369
You have to
learn control!
150
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,205
Come on, Melancholy, come on!
151
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:38,875
Girls: Ewwww!
152
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,877
Butters,
what the hell is that?!
153
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,045
What is what?
Oh, geez!
154
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,797
Put that thing away,
Melancholy!
155
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,967
Jesus, Linda,
what are we gonna do?
156
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,321
What are you up to,
you piece of shit?
157
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,408
Hello, sir.
158
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,409
I just needed to
talk to somebody.
159
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:16,954
I've been having
some problems at home.
160
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,623
Uh-huh, m'kay, that's nice.
That's good to hear.
161
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:22,418
Why don't you just, uh,
sit there and tell me about it?
162
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:25,171
Well, it's just my parents.
163
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,589
You see, a few months ago,
I saw this little girl
164
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,800
riding a pony and I said,
"Whoa! I wanna do that!"
165
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,094
Uh-huh.
166
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,222
So we found a stable
and a trainer,
167
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,432
and I started to
learn dressage.
168
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:40,102
And I got to lease a pony,
and his name is Melancholy.
169
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,063
Yeah, yeah,
that must be tough.
170
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,940
I'm sorry to hear that,
m'kay.
171
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,234
Well, I love
to ride Melancholy.
172
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,736
But now I'm feeling
all this pressure to win.
173
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,445
My parents said
I have to win
174
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,906
because it's against
the Russians.
175
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:52,782
M'kay, we--
176
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,117
The what?
177
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,577
It's the Russians.
178
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,788
I mean, I guess they're just
really good at dressage,
179
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,749
But now my dad says it's
a matter of national security.
180
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,503
M'kay. Butters.
181
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,505
Don't move your head.
182
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,090
Don't move my head?
I --
183
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,466
Uh, uh!
They're probably watching us,
184
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:14,637
so keep acting like
you're asking me for help.
185
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,390
Well, o-okay, but I kind of am
asking you for help, ya know,
186
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,475
because I'm feeling
really lost and miserable.
187
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,310
That's good.
Now listen carefully.
188
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,147
What did your parents
tell you?
189
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,275
Well, they said if I don't
do well at dressage,
190
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,026
it could mean the end
of all of our freedoms.
191
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,319
Jesus Christ.
192
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,447
M'kay, well, Butters,
you know,
193
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:36,784
sometimes troubles at home
can be bad, m'kay.
194
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,996
I need you
to tell me everything you know
195
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:43,207
about dressage.
196
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:53,634
We need to have a serious talk, Melancholy,
197
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,928
and I need you to listen.
198
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:59,223
There's a time to poop,
and there's a time to work.
199
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,350
And the best thing is to poop
when your work is done.
200
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,978
I-It's like when
I'm in the classroom,
201
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:04,812
sometimes I have to poop,
202
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,106
but I have to wait
until lunch break.
203
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,524
If I really have to go, I can
raise my hand to ask politely.
204
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,819
But if you stop and poop
while we're competin',
205
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,362
the judges are gonna
deduct points.
206
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,031
And then the Russians
will beat us,
207
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,950
and then you're gonna get turned
into Chinese skin cream!
208
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,702
We have to do this, Melancholy.
209
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,329
You and me have to focus
like never before.
210
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,332
Now, let's go show them
what we can do!
211
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,794
Let's go!
212
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,673
That's it!
You got it, boy!
213
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,388
Nope! Nope! Melancholy!
214
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,890
Over the jump, boy!
215
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,183
Come on, Melancholy!
216
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,226
What?
W-Where are you going?
217
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,771
Melancholy, back to the jump!
218
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,066
Whoa, Melancholy! Whoa!
219
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:50,691
W-What are you doing now?!
220
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,737
Now I'm not sure
what's goin' on here.
221
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,531
No! No! No!
Melancholy! Bad pony!
222
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,908
I'm sorry, ma'am!
Melancholy, to the jump!
223
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:17,319
Voice:
What are you doing here?
224
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,696
Don't shoot...
225
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,656
I-I'm just the school counselor...
226
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,201
Mr. Stotch?
227
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,120
Mr. Mackey?
228
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,330
What the hell
are you doing here?!
229
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,458
What the hell are you
doing here?
230
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,709
I'll ask the questions,
I've got the gun!
231
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:34,503
We were just...
having a look around...
232
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,630
We weren't going to mess with
the Russian pony.
233
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,173
I-I promise.
234
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,467
Shut up, Linda.
235
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,469
Mr. and Mrs. Stotch,
you know --
236
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,386
your son has been
having some problems
237
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,346
on the playground
at school.
238
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,556
What kind of problems?
239
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:49,143
Well, you know,
bullies, and, uh,
240
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,520
pressure for marijuana,
you know, with --
241
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,855
Don't fucking move!
242
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,106
Ahhhh!
243
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,317
Now I want some
Goddamn answers.
244
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,278
So you want them to win, huh?
You're a traitor.
245
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,489
I'm not the traitor.
246
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,489
Yeah, right...
247
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,240
Since when do you care
about dressage?
248
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,952
Since I found out the principal
is a Russian spy.
249
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,537
A what?!
250
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,706
There's something very big
going on here,
251
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,125
and I think it involves
your son.
252
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,045
Mr. Mackey...
we were just here to try
253
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,632
and give that pony diarrhea
by feeding it Erewhon.
254
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,342
It's the truth.
255
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,927
We're on your side.
256
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,059
I think I understand
what's going on now...
257
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:35,356
The Communists are gonna use the
pony show as justification...
258
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,442
to fire the missiles.
259
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:46,116
Welcome, everyone, to the 10
and under pony dressage finals.
260
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,160
We want to thank everyone
for coming out today
261
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,870
to support these little riders.
262
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,083
This is it, Melancholy.
263
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,960
We have to do this.
264
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,672
We have to be classy.
We're not gonna poop.
265
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,799
We're not gonna get a boner,
and we're certainly not gonna
266
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,759
have unwarranted sex
with the ladies.
267
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,762
Please, boy...
We have got to get this right.
268
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,143
Hi, Mom.
269
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:17,773
Well, hi, junior!
What a surprise, m'kay!
270
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,818
Mom... I need to use something
in my old room.
271
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,612
Well, sure, come on in!
272
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,283
Everything is still
just as you left it, son.
273
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:34,790
Mom, I think World War 3
is about to start.
274
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,792
I'm gonna do what I can
to protect our country!
275
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:40,170
Oh, uh, m'kay, honey,
I'll make you a snack.
276
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:50,389
Hello, Mr. Mackey.
277
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,326
The Russians are nuking us.
278
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,203
What the hell was that?
279
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,663
Someone from the outside
is logged into
280
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,998
the missile defense system!
281
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,666
Well, kick them out!
Shut off the Wi-Fi!
282
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,252
It's not coming in
on Wi-Fi!
283
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,004
It's some old,
archaic technology!
284
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,343
X = "The Russians
are nuking us."
285
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:31,347
Print X, goto 10.
286
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,348
Run.
287
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,355
What are they
trying to do?!
288
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,940
It's just repeating the same
line over and over.
289
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,525
How did they
get it to do that?!
290
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,987
Sir! The computers are
taking us to DEFCON 3!
291
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,957
Jesus Christ...
It's dressage.
292
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,115
President Putin!
293
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,744
♪ When two tribes go to war ♪
294
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,581
♪ A point is all
that you can score ♪
295
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,333
♪ Score them all,
score them all ♪
296
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,502
♪ When two tribes go to war ♪
297
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,588
♪ A point is all
that you can score ♪
298
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,632
♪ Working for the black gas ♪
299
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,591
♪ Cowboy number one ♪
300
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:53,429
♪ A born-again poor man's son ♪
301
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,223
♪ Poor man's son ♪
302
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,725
♪ On the air America ♪
303
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,769
♪ I modeled shirts
by Van Heusen ♪
304
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,398
♪ Working for the black gas ♪
305
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:09,236
♪ Yeah ♪
- Oooh, no! No!
306
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,450
♪ You know ♪
307
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,326
♪ When two tribes go to war ♪
308
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,913
♪ A point is all
that you can score ♪
309
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,749
♪ Score them all,
score them all ♪
310
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,751
♪ When two tribes go to war ♪
311
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,670
♪ A point is all you can score ♪
312
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,840
♪ Working for the black gas ♪
313
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,928
♪ Switch off your shield ♪
314
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,680
♪ Switch off and feel ♪
- We're running out of time!
315
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,518
Take missiles to DEFCON 2!
316
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,772
Here's your Sunny Delight
and Steak-umms, honey.
317
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,316
Get outta my room,
Mom, God!
318
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,401
Get outta my room.
319
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,529
Sweetheart...
are you m'kay?
320
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,157
'Course I'm not m'kay --
321
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,826
but you wouldn't understand
'cause you're a grown-up.
322
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,828
Honey...
as your mother,
323
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,538
I want you to know
you can talk to me
324
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,208
about whatever you want.
325
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:08,337
Even if it's about being scared
of gettin' old.
326
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:17,346
Things used to be
so much simpler, Mama.
327
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,600
There was a good guy and a --
and a bad guy.
328
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,102
And we all...
sort of came together
329
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,521
and loved our country...
330
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,941
Not like it is now.
331
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,194
Ohhh, junior.
332
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:36,365
I know that gettin' old
isn't so much fun, is it?
333
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:40,661
We all wanna go back to a time
when we were younger.
334
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,831
You're getting to be
around 55.
335
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,667
Your pee-pee doesn't work
so good, does it?
336
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,044
How'd you know about that,
Mom?
337
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,712
Well, I'm your mom, honey.
338
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,089
When a man gets to a point
where his pee-pee
339
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,425
doesn't work the way it used to,
he starts to...
340
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,887
well, sit in his room and play
war games again, you know?
341
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,391
But, honey,
those times weren't better.
342
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,393
We were all scared.
343
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,854
People died.
344
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:10,691
That's not something
to strive to get back to.
345
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,151
You're right, mama...
346
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,403
I've been bad.
347
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,529
Oh, you're not bad --
348
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,780
No, I'm bad --
349
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,407
No, nom sweetheart.
350
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,869
It -- It just felt good
'cause it was familiar.
351
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:25,289
That's just sort of
what us old people do.
352
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,252
Announcer:
It all comes down to this.
353
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:35,257
♪823 Davey Solokov
and his Russian Etruscan.
354
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:39,428
If he completes this last rail,
he will be the winner.
355
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,138
We're all dead, Linda.
356
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,140
Rider...please demonstrate
your trot.
357
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:53,025
It's Okay, Melancholy...
We did our best...
358
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,111
Whoa...
Where you goin', Melancholy?
359
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:57,154
Announcer:
And here is the rail.
360
00:19:57,154 --> 00:20:01,283
Wait a minute -- we have another
pony in the ring!
361
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,662
What's he doing?
362
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,998
What's he doing?!
He's fighting for democracy!
363
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,499
Go, Butters!
364
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,626
All:
Butters! Butters!
365
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,836
Melancholy! Bad!
366
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,630
Ahghg!
367
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,092
10...9...8...
368
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,177
He's got 'em!
369
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,390
3...2..1...
You're out!
370
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:33,774
Ahghghghghg!
371
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:44,576
Mr. Mackey: Let me --
Let me though! Let me through!
372
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,161
Mackey, we did it!
373
00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:48,038
I know!
It's amazing!
374
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:52,668
This is all
a dream come true!
375
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:57,339
You know...the past few days,
I've been re-living the past.
376
00:20:57,339 --> 00:21:02,219
But during this tournament,
I started to change.
377
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:05,639
And I just wanna say
to the Russians --
378
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,432
that if I can change,
379
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,142
then yous can change!
380
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:12,396
I know how it is when
you're gettin' old, you know,
381
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,314
and you start getting aggressive
382
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,525
because your dick doesn't work
the way it used to.
383
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:21,196
Da...
384
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,573
But just because
our dicks don't work
385
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,035
doesn't mean we should go back
to the way things were.
386
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,414
In the immortal words
of Sting --
387
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:33,291
we all share the same biology.
388
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,544
Regardless of ideology.
389
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:44,886
♪ I wonder if Russians get
diarrhea from Erewhon too ♪
28865
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