All language subtitles for 2001 - Late Night Shopping

'Then you realise you're
this little cog in a machine.

'A cog that works 40 to 50 hours
a week for 40 to 50 years,

'and for what?'

Thanks.

I know we've only just met,
but it feels comfortable.

- Does that sound stupid?
- I know what you mean.

You meet someone and you just click.

- I can't believe he's doing it.
- He's doing it all right.

What kind of guy bets he can pick
up the first girl to walk in here?

That kind of guy, right over there.

...cos I feel like
I've know you for ages.

And, ah... I...
No, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

- Can't do what?
- This is gonna sound terrible.

See the three sitting behind me?
Two guys and a girl?

The ones spying on us?

That's them. We all work in the area.

Most nights, before and after shifts,

we sit around, drink coffee,
pass the time.

And tonight,
they saw you come in, Wendy,

and sit down by yourself...

- What time are you due back?
- Half an hour.

- Have you spoken to her yet?
- To who?

- Sean!
- You two! Shh!

I'm trying to learn something here.

What is it?

They bet me I couldn't sit down here
and pick you up within 10 minutes.

They did what?

- Oh, looks like he's blown it.
- Maybe she's actually got taste.

- You expect me to listen...
- No. I'm just sorry I came over.

You didn't deserve this.

For what it's worth,
I meant what I said about you and me.

It's my own stupid fault
for blowing it.

You're a nice-looking girl,
I mean, you are... wow!

Wait...
This is going to sound stupid.

I was sort of pleased
when you sat down.

- Really?
- Yeah. Before I found out why.

- It sounds stupid, doesn't it?
- No.

That doesn't sound stupid at all.

Um... Listen, I have got to go,
but can I take your number?

- I don't normally...
- What's going on?

Looks like we're about to find out.

Well?

Vincent!

God! How annoying can you be?!

I'm dying here. What happened?

- I haven't finished with that.
- I have.

That's very mature, Vincent.

Well, I am trying to be
as one-dimensional as possible.

♪ Sun is shining,
the weather is sweet

♪ Yeah, whoa

♪ Makes you wanna move
your dancing feet

♪ To the rescue, here I am

♪ I want you to know now,
here I stand

♪ As the morning... ♪

This is Lenny speaking.
Which name, please?

Thank you.

Spell it, please. And where is that?

♪ Cos I'm a hero,
like Robert De Niro

♪ I know an Ital Rasta man

♪ I gotta keep I heights,
protection until time

♪ Sun is shining... ♪

Hello, directory. Lenny speaking.
Which name, please?

♪ Demonstrate, you got to demonstrate

♪ Don't fight

♪ Cos the sun is shinning
for you

♪ There's nothing else to do

♪ As the morning gathers a rainbow

♪ I want you to know now

♪ I'm a rainbow with you

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah!

♪ Test the eye, test the eye

♪ Fear no evil

♪ Channel like a lion,
channel like a lion

♪ Sun is shining,
the weather is sweet

♪ Yeah, whoa

♪ Makes you wanna move
your dancing feet

♪ To the rescue, oh! Here I am

♪ I want you to know y'all
here I stand

♪ As the morning gathers a
rainbow, I want you to know now

♪ That I'm a rainbow with you

♪ Some say, yeah, money in my

♪ One on one

♪ Money in my pocket
but I just can't get... ♪

'I read there was
this landlord in Osaka,

'rented out this apartment...

- 'Where?'
- 'Osaka - Japan.'

'Got you.'

'He rents it
to two different tenants.

- 'One works night shift.'
- 'Like us.'

'And the other works days.'

'Neither knows about the other.
They never run into each other.

'It's six months before
they realise they aren't alone.'

- 'And this is a true story?'
- 'Yeah.'

'That's rubbish!
What about weekends?'

'Maybe they're avoiding each other.
That's not the point.'

- 'There's a point?'
- 'Yeah.'

'It's the same
as me and my girlfriend.'

'Oh, a metaphor,

'that's why you're looking
for clues she's still there?'

'Well, yeah.'

'Sean, that is sad, and I mean
that in the cruellest sense.

- 'So when did you last see her?'
- 'About three weeks ago.'

- 'What's she like?'
- 'She's great.

'She's smart, funny, pretty...'

'What colour clothes does she wear?'

- Girls' clothes.
- What colour underwear?

What's that got to do
with anything?

Just trying to establish
the facts, ratings wise.

Figure, face, personality.

Give her marks out of 10.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

Forget it.

What I mean is, if you saw her
sitting by herself in a bar,

would you go chat her up?

She's my girlfriend,
of course I would.

- Lenny?
- Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, sorry, what is it?

Would you say I'm... you know...

You know...

Can we start again? I think
I got lost after the third word.

...useful?

Useful?

You know, attractive.

I don't know. I mean,
what kind of question is that?

I'm just asking.

All right.
I mean, would you rate me?

Jesus, Jody, I don't know.

It will sort itself out.

These things always do.
You know how it works.

No, I don't.

What?

You said I know how it works.
I said I don't.

I think anybody who moves in
with his girlfriend is insane.

Course, if you're married,
it's probably unavoidable.

Otherwise, it's just insane.

All right,
you're alone in your room

and you want to have,
you know, fun for one.

What?! Oh, shit!

You know, a personal touch.
A one-man band.

- I don't believe you're asking this.
- Grow up, Lenny.

Would you ever consider
doing it about a girl...

for example, like me?

- Gee... Jody...
- Just answer the question.

No! I mean, probably not.

- Why not?
- Jody, please!

- Lenny!
- I don't know.

You're a friend, it would be rude
and you're not my type.

Not your type? What's wrong with me?

- That's it...
- Sean, if that's a bar of soap,

there's going to be trouble.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Are you ok?
- Yeah.

It's just this machine
keeps eating my money.

Oh, yeah. You're not
meant to put money in it.

- Oh.
- You have to give it the Fonz.

Thanks.

Oh, that's the other thing.
I wouldn't drink the coffee.

Yeah.

I really didn't mean
to end up working here.

I'd always planned to be
an astronaut or a racing car driver.

- Typical boy.
- Mmm.

I never had hospital porter
down on the list,

but it pays ok and I'm pretty
much left to my own devices.

And, um... a hospital at night...

feels kind of creepy,
don't you think?

Yeah.

So what about you? What are
you doing hanging around here?

Sean, you know
what I feel like doing?

Not having that conversation

where two people bore each other
with their life stories.

Didn't realise I was boring you.

No you weren't, it's just...
Guy works nights in hospital...

I think I can fill in the blanks.

'Wait,
what are we talking about?'

- 'Susie.'
- 'Not your girlfriend.'

'No, a girl called Susie
at the hospital'

- I'm drawing a blank.
- Do you ever listen to anyone?

Sean, that hurts. I listen.

If I don't take in all the details

it's because I'm
a non-judgemental listener.

- A non-judgemental listener?
- An ear you can trust.

So, I ask her what she's doing
hanging around the hospital,

she changes the subject.
Don't you think that's weird?

My last three girlfriends have
said they're into modern jazz.

That's weird, this is just a guy
with too much time on his hands

playing Colombo,
there's a difference.

- I'm getting another coffee.
- Like you need any more coffee.

- Sean...
- I think you're very attractive.

No, Sean, check your watch.

Uh-huh.

Go now, get your train, she'll
be there, you'll sort this out.

She might not be there.

Sean, you know I'm right,
I'm always right.

Ok, thanks.

Can you spell that for me? Thank you.

Hello, directory. Lenny speaking,
which name, please?

What town's that in?

P? P. Ok, thank you.

Directory, Lenny speaking,
which name, please?

Could you spell that for me?

Thank you.

Hello, directory.

Which name, please?

♪ Cos I'm so bored of romance

♪ Of boredom

♪ My fingers prickle
with the memory of feeling

♪ I'll win over you, yes again

♪ He's sitting in the corner
with his eyes half open

♪ He's a back-seat driver in my game

♪ I'll take my camera to
what you would do

♪ But there's nothing... ♪

Hey, Joe, what's the time?

You do not want to know.

- Ah, this is killing me.
- You should buy a watch.

I've got a watch.

- A watch that works.
- This works. It's a lucky charm.

- It's the fabled...
- Yeah, I know.

The fabled watch of Errol Flynn.

Don't mock the power.

While we stand around here
putting fucking tins on shelves,

there are beautiful 19-year-old girls
in short skirts and tight tops,

going to clubs, drinking, dancing,

hormones exploding like atom bombs.

Let's not get too upset here.

There's always that final hour
when the ladies get desperate

and their standards plummet
faster than the speed of light

and that, that
is the same hour I get off work.

♪ Cos I'm so bored of romance... ♪

What I really don't get
is why I have to wear a uniform.

It's not as if I
have to see anyone.

I could do this job in a monkey
outfit, no one would know.

You could do it in a monkey outfit,

but personally,
I just love a man in uniform.

Directory, Lenny speaking,
which name?

Thank you.

Hi, there, it's...

Oh, you recognise the voice?

I just don't understand.

I'm sorry. But you knew this
when we started.

- "I'm a big girl, it's ok."
- I thought it'd be different.

Look, this was supposed
to be fun, ok?

Let's fool around,
it will be fun. And it was fun.

It's like a game, right?

- Right?
- I suppose.

Like any game there are rules, babe,

and one of the rules was we
could only do this three times.

Three strikes and you're out.

- I thought you were joking.
- I don't joke about this.

Vincent!

Don't make me out
to be a bastard over this.

If I sound harsh,
it's cos I'm being honest.

I'd expect you to appreciate that.

Maybe I'd better just go.

Now, don't be like that.
Come on, come back to bed.

We can watch TV or something.

I just got cable, you ever seen
the home shopping channel?

- No.
- You gotta see it.

It's like the last refuge
of civilisation.

You gotta see some of the crap
these people are selling.

Come on, you.

Just because this is the last
time we're going to be together,

doesn't mean we have to part
on bad terms, does it?

No, I suppose not.

'And that is impressive

'considering that
it comes with the chain, too.'

- Want a cigarette?
- I don't smoke.

Oh. That's good.

You know that thing?

When you see some couple in the
street having a drunken argument?

She's yelling at him because
he never does anything for her.

Never makes any
big romantic gestures.

Oh, yeah. I love watching them.

Right, well,
that was the argument we had.

I said some things that I regret.

She said some things
she should definitely regret

- and it snowballed from there.
- That was weeks ago.

It started out,
I was just avoiding her,

that turned into habit and now,
I'm getting this feeling...

Sean, you want a simple solution?

'Hardware store.
Big pot of paint, paintbrush.'

'Go paint on the bedroom wall in
big fuck off letters

'"Do you still live here?"'

You come home, she's standing there

throwing a hissy fit about
the state of the wallpaper,

then I think you've got your answer.

I don't know, we just redecorated.

- Sean...
- Ok, look.

What if I did that and it
turns out that it is over?

That's what I'm really scared of.

That sounds like...
what's that guy thing called?

- The fear?
- Yeah. The fear.

I've worked in jobs
like these for years.

I've devised so many ways
to make the clock go faster.

First, try doing the job
in record time.

- That sounds like fun.
- Then seeing how slow I could go.

Then marking off the quarter-hours,

then dividing them up
into five-minute segments.

- But you can't beat the clock.
- Now I feel much better.

Don't think about it
or you'll see the big picture

and that's not pretty.

Then you realise
you're this little cog

in a machine that works
40 to 50 hours a week,

for 40 to 50 years and for what?

So you can spend your latter years
in an easy chair pissing yourself...

Joe, much as I love you,
that's depressing.

I'll put it another way.

What, for example, are you gonna
do when your looks go?

It's never going to happen.
This face defies surgery.

Besides, I've got this.

Vinny, lovers leave, parties end,
bad jobs go on forever.

Seriously, what you gonna do
with the rest of your life?

Big question.

Let's see, save up some money,
pay off my debts,

leave this mickey-mouse job for dust.

That's probably top of my List.

And then what?

Then I'll get a better job,
move into a nicer flat,

continue dating girls
with severe emotional problems.

And then what?

- Then...
- Uh-huh?

I preferred it when you were rambling
on about being a cog in a machine.

I wasn't listening to half of it,
but at least it didn't concern me.

Oh, come on, Joe, give me a break.

Just think about it.

I do a mind-numbing job
so I don't have to think.

Hence, mind-numbing.

- Susie.
- Sean.

What are you doing? Snooping around?

No! Well, yeah.

Um... Sean, meet David.
David, meet Sean.

David...

Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
Aren't you going to shake his hand?

Sean, I was joking.

'I don't know
how long I can last.'

'What's to know?
You take calls, give out numbers.

'Soon, they'll train monkeys
to do it and you'll need a new job.'

'I mean, say last night,
I'm sitting at my terminal

'looking at the guy across from me.

I've been there nearly two years

'and this guy sits across
from me six nights a week

'and I realise I don't know his name,

'where he's from, anything.

'And I look around the place

'and I know maybe four, five
people's names at a push.

This is meant to be the heart
of the communications industry.

'Two years and I can't even name
half the people I work with.'

- Fuck 'em.
- What?!

Who wants to know the names
of a bunch of wingdings?

These people spend their time
giving numbers to the public.

They're fucking telephone operators.

- Why know their names?
- But I'm a telephone operator.

Look, maybe I'm not the best
person to confide in.

But you're looking at it
all wrong. It's just a job.

You plug in, switch off, get
the fuck out and wait for pay day.

- That wasn't really what...
- You need a decent hobby,

an interest outside of work
to help those shifts fly by.

- Like what you have?
- That's right, like I have.

And then... boom!

Three strikes and they're out,
then I get myself a new hobby.

Like I say, you need to get
yourself a decent hobby.

- I can't do that.
- Why not?

- Can you keep a secret?
- This is me you're talking to.

Things had been on the slide
between us for months, really.

I was just about
to finish it with him.

'I even had the whole strategy
worked out,

'the whole "It's not you,
it's me" routine.'

- 'It's a good routine.'
- 'Yeah, yeah, it is.'

They rushed him to hospital,
but it was too late.

He'd already slipped into a coma.

- Shit, that's terrible.
- You're telling me.

I couldn't do it then,
I'd have been the bitch of the year.

The thing is, I'd only been
going out with him six months.

He's been in a fucking coma
for longer than that.

I've got porno reactions.

- You got what?
- Porno reactions.

- Porno reactions?!
- Jesus, Vincent, keep it down!

- What the hell are they?
- I knew this was a bad idea.

Lenny.

Before I worked in the call centre,

I had a job for two or three years
writing for Men Only.

- Writing for what?
- Men Only, the jazz mag.

I'm well aware what Men Only is.
You wrote for it?!

- Fuck, yeah.
- Fuck me.

You know the kind of thing.

"Dear Men Only, I never thought
I'd write to your magazine

"but something happened to me
last week I just had to share.

"I'm an attractive blonde, aged 19.
Small, but perfectly formed

"with a bust that can only
be described as a handful.

"I work in a local salon and
often flirt with the customers

"but none really caught my eye
until I saw... Peter -

"a regular who'd just returned
from work abroad.

"With his rippling muscles,
suntan and sexy smile,

"I could hardly resist when he...

"Continued page 64,"
etc, etc, etc.

I spent so long writing that shit

that now I've got
porno reactions to everything.

And how do they manifest themselves?

It's not funny.

Every girl I meet, every girl
I half like, my mind goes click.

Starts imagining them
in some X-rated skin flick.

- Every girl?
- Yeah.

Automatically.
It's a fucking curse.

It's not a fucking curse.
It's a gift.

Vincent...

Don't you tell a soul.

So tell me about your girlfriend.

How do you know
I've got a girlfriend?

Sean, it's written
all over your face.

- Trust me.
- Not much to tell, really.

'Wait, you actually
examine the soap?'

Yeah, to see if it's...
you know, getting smaller.

See if she still
actually lives with me.

Sean, that's really sad.

And I mean that in the cruellest
sense of the word.

Thanks.

No, I mean it.

You should just take the night
off work and find out.

Believe me, I know. It's just
with everything in a state of limbo

you get used to it
- and this is fucking sad -

but it's almost comforting,
you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Well, I'd better get going.
I have got a job to do.

- Some job!
- Yeah.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Can I ask you a question?

Let me guess.

What's a girl like you
doing in a nice place like this?

No. A nice girl like
you doing in a place like this?

- It's a long story.
- Give me the short version then.

All right.

I was out with some friends.

I wasn't really enjoying it,
and I couldn't face going home.

So you came here?

- I thought I'd drown my sorrows.
- In hot chocolate?

You wouldn't understand.
It's a girl thing.

I've got to admit,
the whole thing is very weird,

in a weird sort of way.

Wait, let me get this right,
you saw this documentary on TV

about this university
in Philadelphia

where they have a code of
conduct regarding boys and girls

and at each stage of the date,

they have to ask permission
to do things, right?

Yeah.

Give me an example.

Ok... Let's say it's you and me,

walking through the
snowbound streets of Philadelphia

and I look over to you and
I think "Wow, this girl is nice."

Nice?

You don't like nice?

Well, seeing as the streets of
Philadelphia were all snowbound...

I was hoping for something
a wee bit more imaginative.

Ok, um...

This girl is great, and I think
I'd like to hold her hand, so...

I'd have to ask you, "Is it ok to
hold your hand?" You'd say yes or no.

'So, we walk on for a bit,
I'm looking over,

'thinking, I'd like
to kiss this girl.

'So, I'd have to ask you,
"Is it ok to kiss you?"

And you'd say yes or no again.

'How long
does this go on?'

'All the way home - kissing,
caressing, undressing...'

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

How much have I had
to drink by that point?

As long as you can still
write your name, I'd be ok,

cos if we were to go ahead,
go all the way,

you'd have to sign
a contract of consent,

especially drawn up
by the university itself.

A contract? What else do
we need? A lawyer present?

If you like that kind of thing.

That's stupid.

One of the nicest parts
of romance is,

you know,
not knowing what's coming next.

The moment before the kiss...

- What's your full name?
- Huh? Madeline.

Madeline Zozzocolovich.

Is that one Z or two?

Three.

Vincent.

Your name is Vincent.

That's right.

Hey, sleeping beauty.

- Oh, shit, I missed the ending.
- What ending?

Vincent was firing into some girl,
looked odds on to hit the target.

- That's always something to see.
- Yeah, you really missed out.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

No, not really.

What's up?

It's a long story.
Maybe another time.

Do you want to get out of here?
Go for a drive or something?

I'm just going to freshen up.

Sure.

Ever get the feeling
we're missing out on something?

Yeah, all the time.

Don't touch that dial!

♪ I don't know
if I can face it again... ♪

What the fuck?

♪ Can't stop now,
I've travelled so... ♪

It's the fucking car,

the radio gets stuck on some
fucking '80s revival station.

- Switch it off.
- It doesn't switch off.

♪ I wanna know what love is

♪ I want you to show me

♪ I wanna feel what love is... ♪

This is...

I want you to know that I don't
normally do this sort of thing.

I remember when I was 13.

I went with this girl in
my class to the school disco.

Sat and watched her dance
with her friends

until the lights went up.

I'm sick of it, you know?

- The fear.
- Oh, yeah, the fear.

Still, if it's over, it's over.

Fuck, for all I know it could be over

between me and my girlfriend
for weeks now.

- It's very weird, you know?
- What?

You always refer to her
as "her” or "my girlfriend".

- Parents not give her a name?
- Yeah.

- Madeline.
- It's a cool name.

Yeah? You should hear her surname.

Oh, shit. Shit!

You don't get it, do you?
We're not friends.

Don't look at me like that.
I'm just trying to explain.

We're acquaintances, not friends.

- I, for one, am crushed.
- I don't think that's true.

We spend most nights
of the week hanging out here

talking crap, you know?

That's what friends are for.

Here's the litmus test.
Three questions.

Number one, what's my surname?

Ok, two, where do I work?

Um... something to do
with children, right?

And three,
what's my favourite colour?

- Beige?
- No, green.

I remember cos we had that argument.

- Definitely green.
- One out of three, magnificent.

So we don't pay attention to details.

No, we're not really friends.
Don't get me wrong.

I enjoy sitting here,
passing the time, talking.

But it's out of convenience
rather than anything deeper.

- I still think we're friends.
- It's not a personal thing.

How is friendship
not personal, Jody?

Lenny, I need a favour.

- What favour?
- Car favour, right now.

- I just got here.
- I know, but it's important.

- Lenny, very important.
- Let me just say hello to Sean.

- No, we have to go now.
- What?!

Come on.

How long was I away for?

Vincent, what's going on? Vincent?

It's, ah... It's about Sean.

What do you mean?

It's the way he treats me,
you know.

Do I have "second-class citizen”
stamped on my forehead?

He's just like that.
You're a girl, he's Vincent.

It pisses me off no end. He and Lenny
always running around doing shit.

It makes me feel like a wee girl
stamping her feet on the ground

while the boys play
in the tree house.

You wanna play in Vincent
and Lenny's tree house?

No. It would just be nice
to be invited up occasionally.

'Remember when
that girl came into the cafe?'

I was going through some of the
old tried and tested routines.

Thought I'd have to come up with
something new as she was Dutch.

♪ I wanna feel what love is

♪ I know you can show me... ♪

- Is everything ok?
- Yeah.

Everything's fine.

You serious? You slept with
Sean's girlfriend, Madeline?

Yeah, Madeline.

Jesus, Vincent, that's off the scale.

Do you know how many girls I've fucked
this year? That's off the scale.

- That was a shitty thing to do.
- I know.

I didn't even want to do it,
but it was all out of my hands.

- Out of your hands?
- Figuratively speaking.

It was the little guys
downstairs -

millions of them swimming about
looking for an exit.

They should rewrite the biology books

cos when it comes to the brain
versus the little guys,

always bet on the little guys.

Is that what you'll tell Sean?

- I'm not going to tell him.
- You've got to.

- Why should I?
- He's your friend.

Like Jody says,
we're acquaintances, not friends.

That's shit. She says that
to kid on she's better than us.

Do you wanna know something,
about you?

I don't know.

You come to me, right,
cos you fucked Sean's girlfriend.

That sounds as if
you're racked with guilt.

You want me to set your mind at rest
cos you've fucked over a friend.

For a while,
it almost seemed funny -

living together
and never seeing her.

- But now...
- Not funny?

- You know how it is.
- No.

It's little things -
waking up next to her.

- The way her hair looks.
- Her hair?

At the cinema, we hold hands
throughout the movie.

There's always someone behind
with an annoying laugh.

Ask for a refund.

Yeah, well anyway, I've decided
that tonight I'm going to do it.

I'm going to get someone
to punch out my timecard for me,

go home, see Madeline
and tell her how I feel.

About her hair?

I've been really stupid.

I didn't realise
how much I missed her until...

Well, until...

Wait, I can see
where this is heading.

If it's a typical guy thing,

you were either drunk
and a song reminded you of her

or you had your dick in someone else.

Sean.

It was the dick thing.

Really? Shit!

I was only joking. I just thought
it was a smart thing to say.

With everything
in a state of limbo,

you get used to it.

It's almost
- and this is fucking sad -

it's almost comforting,
you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Well, better get back to it.
I have got a job to do.

- Some job!
- Yeah.

Sean... you know the nice thing
about being in limbo?

You can do anything you want.

Vincent,
I can't believe you did that.

- Sean.
- What?

You just called me Vincent.

- You won't turn into him, will you?
- No, I won't turn into Vincent.

I'm going to sort everything out.

Hey, Lenny, you actually wrote
for this magazine?

Yeah, about two years ago.

I used to love these letters,
gave me situations to aspire to.

I'm not easily impressed,
but I gotta say, I'm impressed.

Ooh!

Vincent, how can I put this?

About a month ago,
this new girl starts at work.

The other evening shift...

- Hello.
- Yeah, hello.

She's something else, too,
you know?

When I see her,
I can't eat, I can't sleep...

Sounds like the real thing.

What can I do? I've got
porno reactions, for Christ's sake.

'I can't talk to her when I'm face
to face... well, with her face.

'So I do something stupid.

'I start phoning her on my breaks,

'pretend I'm a high-flying
businessman.'

I'm just back from Hong Kong.

'Chatting away, you know.'

You're calling her
under an assumed name?

That's stalking, surely.

It's not stalking. You've seen
the film Cyrano de Bergerac?

No.

Well, the point is,
over the phone, we click.

Really click - laughing, joking,

she even says she's looking
forward to me calling.

- This is all very touching.
- Wait.

It gets worse.

'The other night, I bit the bullet.

'I asked her out, over the phone.'

- What did she say?
- She said yes.

It was a bit nerve-racking,
but she said yes...

tonight.

Tonight? Let me get this straight.

She's expecting a jet-setting
businessman to show up,

instead she'll get mild-mannered
Lenny, the stalker.

- I know, I know.
- Jesus, Lenny.

How will she react
to your deception?

I don't know, but you deceive
women all the time.

Yeah, the proper way,
behind their backs.

- This way lies insanity and ruin.
- I don't know what I'm gonna do.

It's simple, don't show up.
Don't do anything.

Don't ever call her again,
just walk away, walk away from it.

Why is it locked?

Fuck knows.
It's a security thing.

What, to keep people out,
or people like you in?

Listen, Lenny, remember
what I said, just walk away.

Fuck it.

Susie?

'You look really nice.
I just love a man in uniform.'

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

You poor bastard.

By the way,
your boyfriend's back.

♪ Out last night

♪ I have a bar outside with a... ♪

- Vincent, why are you here?
- How are you doing?

I see you took my advice
to not show up.

Don't worry, she's been and gone.

- What happened?
- I just couldn't do it.

She was there and I sat here

like the useless fucking lump
that I am, then she left.

And I still sat here going over
and over the sorry mess

that passes for my life.

You couldn't do it cos you build
it up to something it isn't.

When you build it up,
you also build up the fear.

It's no big deal, it's just talking.

I don't really need this now.

Yeah, you do.
Otherwise you'll never learn.

Look, I could pick any girl
here, go up, hit on her

and it would mean fuck all
cos I don't build it up.

I don't open the door,
invite the fear in for a coffee.

It means fuck all,
because it is fuck all.

Watch.

Wait, Vincent,
this really isn't necessary.

Hi.

You wanna hear something strange?

I think so.

I saw this thing on TV
about Philadelphia,

the University of Philadelphia.

Apparently, they have this code...

- Well, no...
- Hold on.

Do you know who I am?

What? No. I just saw you
sitting here alone, and...

Oh, I get it.

If it's all the same to you,
I'm waiting for someone.

- Been waiting long?
- 10 minutes more, then I'm gone.

So, this thing in Philadelphia,
you got to hear it.

Look, I don't want to be rude,
but I'm waiting for someone.

Boyfriend.

No, it's a guy I speak to
on the phone at work.

Stupid, huh?

Shit!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm a shithead.

Hmm.

Huh.

Lenny! Oi! Wait up! Hey!

I didn't realise! I'm sorry.

Would it have made
such a difference?

What are you talking about?
Course it would.

Have you spoken to Sean yet?

That's a totally different issue.

Yeah, right.

Joe!

What are you waiting for?
Retirement?

Fucking clock just moved backwards.
I'm serious, Vinny.

You're developing
a very serious attitude problem.

- Vinny.
- In a minute.

I got to move these palettes
or Alec will kill us.

- Vinny!
- Keep watching the clock, Joe.

Joe.

Hey! Hey!

Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Shit!

What are you gawking at?
Call a fucking ambulance!

Who's first aid? Who's first aid?

There's meant to be
a fucking first aid here.

He's not breathing. Look after him.

Where's the ambulance?
Did you call the fucking ambulance?

- Yeah, it's on it's way.
- Fuck!

- Not working again tonight?
- No, not tonight.

- How is he?
- I don't know!

Somebody's meant to be
first fucking aid!

Breathe into his mouth.

- His mouth?
- Just do it!

Thank fuck!

Come on! Shift it!

The keys! Who's got
the fucking keys? The keys!

Who's got the fucking keys?

- What the hell's going on?
- Gimme the keys.

I gave them to
one of the grocery boys.

Oh, fuck, Alec!

Who's got the fucking door keys?

Please! Who's got the keys?

Shouldn't we cover his face?

Uh-uh.

Careful.

We don't want to have
another accident.

Vincent, what are you doing here?

Oh, you know, just hanging out.

- Are you ok?
- No. I'm not.

This old guy I work with, Joe -
he just had a heart attack.

- He didn't make it.
- Oh, shit. I'm sorry.

- Did you know him well?
- Yeah, pretty well.

We don't really know anything
about each other, do we?

What?! Come on.

I don't know the name of some
guy you work with, so what?

I bet you don't know
the names of anyone here.

Lenny doesn't know the names
of anybody he works with.

- Yeah, I suppose.
- Vincent, we're friends.

The rest... it's just details.

Shit!

Ever had one of those days when
the clock doesn't go quick enough?

All the time.
You got somewhere important to go?

Yeah.

I've gotta find my girlfriend
and tell her that I love her.

Probably sounds pretty lame to you.

No, not at all.

Sean, there's something
I've gotta tell you.

You know you've got a great smile?

You're just saying that.

Doesn't mean it isn't true.

What?

I know it's a little off the scale.

You're joking, right?
This has to be a joke.

I'm sorry. I didn't realise
who she was until we'd gone too far.

You knew who she was before you...

- Fuck, that is fucking low.
- I know.

I can't believe this.

I know it was wrong,
I just want to make it up to you.

How? Fly around the world
the wrong way and turn back time

so you can defuck my girlfriend?

It wasn't just my fault.
You were ignoring her.

Fuck you!

It wasn't my fault.
I didn't even want to do it.

It was the little guys downstairs,
they're in the driver's seat!

Sean!

I'm sorry!

But are you going to spend
weeks moping about this

or are you finally
going to do something?

♪ Stuck out here all on my own

♪ Could tell you one thing, baby

♪ This ain't home

♪ This ain't home

♪ He gets home, switches on the light

♪ Here's money and the devil
that's enough tonight

♪ With half dirty hair,
half dirty minds

♪ They all have me

♪ Guess I'm doing fine

♪ Guess I'm doing fine... ♪

Madeline?

♪ Nobody here knows my name... ♪

Mads?

♪ Nobody here knows why I came

♪ Nobody here has got the time

♪ Cos there ain't nobody here

♪ I guess I'm doing fine

♪ I guess I'm doing fine... ♪

Shit.

♪ I miss you, baby

♪ Every night I cry

♪ I miss you, baby

♪ Every night I lie

♪ I miss you, baby... ♪

♪ I miss you, baby,
cos I cos I cos I cos I

♪ Cos I still live with you... ♪

I wondered why
I hadn't seen him.

Well, now you know.

How hard did you hit him?

Pretty hard.

Cool.

I don't care
if I ever see him again.

- Look at you.
- What?

- You're turning into Action Man.
- What about Madeline?

'Somebody phoned. They held on
for a minute, then hung up.

Lenny, you work
in telecommunications.

Do you recognise this dialling code?

- Mm-mm.
- No.

Not many would. It's this horrible
town in the middle of nowhere.

The kind of place people
generally avoid.

A friend of Madeline's
has an aunt there.

- Madeline called?
- I should have guessed.

It's her kind of crisis centre.

- What?
- It's a girl thing.

- A girl thing?
- Yeah!

I'm gonna go out there and find her.

I'm coming, too.

- What?
- I'm coming, too.

You need a car,
you need a driver. I'm that guy.

Well, I wasn't planning
on bringing anyone, but... Ok.

- That's it. I'm coming, too.
- What?

You really think
I'm gonna let you go alone?

- It's an accident waiting to happen.
- Ok, bring the whole gang.

Where is this place?

It's, ah...
lift up your cup, Lenny.

It's there.

Lenny, how can you be car sick?

- It's your car.
- I know.

I'm fine in the city, it's just
when I get out in the countryside.

- Are you ok?
- Kind of.

My eyes are smarting a bit.

- Mine, too.
- Mine three.

Must be the light or something.

Lenny, don't be so square,
switch the radio on.

No, if it goes on,
it doesn't go off.

Not even when you
switch the engine off?

Jody, when you switch the engine
off, it goes off.

When you switch it back on,
it's back on.

- That's stupid.
- I know it's stupid.

Unfortunately,
that's just the way it is.

♪ Kayleigh, is it too late
to say I'm sorry... ♪

What's this music?
It's terrible! Switch it off.

It doesn't switch off.

♪ I just can't go on pretending
that it came to a natural end

♪ Kayleigh... ♪

♪ You don't know what you might
have set upon yourself... ♪

Hey!

- What?
- Up ahead.

Huh?

Oh.

I don't believe it.

Pull over and stay in the car.

- Listen...
- No, stay in the car.

♪ Eyes wide

♪ Like a child in the form of man

♪ A prophecy for a fantasy... ♪

Nice going, porno boy!

What were you thinking of?

Vincent forced me.

Ow! Jody, he's very persuasive.

You are such a girl.

...and I've never felt guilty
about anything in my life, ever.

This time I really fucked up.

You got a nerve showing up.

- I don't want us to fall out.
- It's a bit late.

Anything I can do,
I'll do it. Anything.

- There is something.
- Name it.

- Gimme your watch.
- Eh?

- You heard me.
- Mate!

It belonged to Errol Flynn,
it doesn't work.

- I know about the watch.
- This watch... this watch...

Between you and me, I think
it's where I get my power.

I thought it was
the little guys downstairs.

It's a unique combination.

Vincent, just give me the watch.

This watch really belonged
to Errol Flynn, huh?

I've even got a certificate
of ownership that proves it.

Aw! Not the fucking watch!

- I think we're even now.
- Even?!

I only fucked your girlfriend!
That was Errol Flynn's!

Vincent, you really want me
to hit you again?

You hit like a girl anyway.

Yeah? Well, I imagine you've
been hit by a lot of girls.

♪ All I wanna do is make love to you

♪ Say you will, you want me to

♪ All I wanna do... ♪

- Vincent.
- What?

Jody, that's dangerous.
If I hit the brake, Jody...

♪ I just died in your arms tonight

♪ Must have been something you said

♪ I just died in your arms tonight

♪ Whoa-whoa

♪ I just died in
your arms tonight... ♪

♪ Should have walked away ♪

- This is it.
- What?

- This is it.
- Oh, right.

Oh, thank God for that.

- Are you ok?
- Yeah.

- Are you getting out of the car?
- Yeah.

In the near future?

So, ah... what now?

I think I need
to work out a new plan.

- There was an old plan?
- Yeah, there was a plan.

The plan was come here,
find Madeline, sort things out.

Then what?

Well, if the plan
went according to plan,

we'd go home together.

- And then what?
- And then bowling.

We'd go bowling or something,
do the fun things. Go on dates.

And then what?

Then I guess I'd get a day shift
so I didn't feel

as if I had permanent jet lag
without ever going anywhere.

Oh. Then what?

- What is it with you?
- What?

I'm not disagreeing,
but what else is there?

Yeah, we can get mickey-mouse
day jobs but for what?

For nine to five, work in an office.

Commute with everyone else to work.

In bed by 11, up by seven.
I just don't see the big pay-off.

- Vincent.
- You are in a bad mood.

I'm being realistic.

Can you say your life will be
any better with a day shift?

- Probably, if I still had a job.
- What?

- Say that again.
- I got fired.

- 'When?'
- 'About two weeks ago.'

- 'Why?'
- 'It's a long story.'

'Tell the short version.'

I hated my job and they said
I was bringing everyone down.

But you work on a conveyor belt.

- I know!
- Hang on.

If you've been out of a job,

how come you're still hanging
around with us acquaintances?

Because...

Cos I've nothing better to do.

That's the single most depressing
thing I think I've ever heard.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Look, I appreciate the support,

but you really don't have
to hang around here with me.

- Why don't you go and have fun?
- You can have fun here?

- It was rhetorical.
- Oh, ok.

Come on, Lenny, let's go.

- Hey, invite me.
- What?

- Invite me.
- Sorry?

Invite me, invite me, invite me,
invite me, invite me!

Ok. Jody, would you like
to come with us?

- Where are you going?
- To play crazy golf.

No, thank you.

Jesus! What a depressing place!

I can feel the life
being sucked out of me.

That was weird, wasn't it?

It's about keeping your eye
on the ball. It's a game for idiots.

- No, I meant weird as in Jody.
- Oh, yeah.

But you can hardly blame her.
We do kinda cut her out.

- Almost makes me feel bad.
- Really?

I thought you didn't like Jody.

Jody? I think she's fucking great!

- You do?
- Yeah.

First time I met her,
I tried to hit on her.

No!

Course she knocked me back
straightaway.

As far-fetched as that sounds.

It's just as well, though.
I think she's way too smart for me.

- Well, you don't act like it.
- Course I don't!

Even though we're friends,
she is a girl.

Wait... You said friends.

- Yeah?
- So, everyone is friends?

Of course we're friends.
Look around.

We're standing on a golf course,

surrounded by King Kong
and God knows what else

in the middle of fucking nowhere.

That's what friends are for.

Gail, see those guys there?

- Vincent, get back on the clock.
- What is it?

Whatever you do, don't look around.

Shit! Shit! Aw... shit!

- What is it?
- Bad news, I looked.

- Aw, shit!
- They're coming over.

This is not good. Is this good?

As opposed to bad?
No, it's not good.

I can't do it. I can't face Gail.

- What? That's Madeline.
- Next to Gail, that's Madeline?

Why would I worry about Gail?
You're stalking her.

- Madeline is the problem.
- Shit!

Why are they both here?
Why are they coming over?

What do they want?
What are we going to do?

We have to stay cool.
I've been in tighter spots than this.

Don't confess.
Don't mention Sean at all.

Don't even speak if you can help it.

All right?

Flowers. I should have
bought her flowers.

Flowers die.

Well, chocolates, then.
They're romantic, right?

Chocolates make you fat.

Well... What do I do? Be myself?

- Just don't mention the tramp.
- The tramp?

Susie, the girl you shagged
in the hospital.

Oh, yeah.

That'd be a bad idea, right?

This is...
Talk about a small world.

Very small.

I certainly didn't think
I'd run into you again.

Especially not here.

But in a fucked up way,
I'm glad I have,

cos I wanted to talk about
the other night.

Yeah?

Yeah. Look, I don't want this
to sound cold, but...

that was a mistake, a big mistake.

You were just in the wrong place
at the right time.

I don't blame you for
the problems with my boyfriend

even though
you are partly responsible.

Don't go blaming me.

What we did has nothing to do
with Sean and you.

- Sean?
- Yeah, you can't blame me.

I never said Sean.
I said my boyfriend.

No, I distinctly heard you say Sean.

Lenny, back me up here.

Thanks, really.

How did you know
that my boyfriend's name was Sean?

Luck?

You know... I was thinking...

- While we're on the subject...
- Uh-huh?

I think it was a mistake bringing us.

But you wanted to come.

That was just so
I could join in, but...

What?

You're here to save a relationship

and you bring a serial dater,
a guy with porno reactions

and a know-it-all
who pretends to work

so she needn't stare into
the black abyss of her life.

I guess.

You'd have done better with the
tin man, the scarecrow and the lion.

Well, you're helpful.
And as for Vincent and Lenny...

Only an idiot would let them
out there unsupervised.

Vincent, tell me this.

How long have you known
I'm Sean's girlfriend?

I didn't know about you and Sean
until just before we...

The University of Phila...

I do know you.
He tried to pick me up.

- Gail!
- How do you know my name?

Rewind a second. You knew about
Sean and me before we ended up...

I'm regretting it as I'm
saying it - in bed together?

Technically.
But we're talking minutes.

That sounds so much worse
than it sounds.

The cafe, the Philadelphia stuff,
that was genuine.

If it was genuine on her,
then why did you use it on me?

I said genuine, not original.

You pay to see The Rolling Stones,
you expect to hear the classics.

Ok, then.

I only tried to pick you up
to help Lenny, so no harm there.

Who's Lenny?

And you work in the call centre,
right? Night shift.

I can't believe it,
you call Sean your friend

yet you still did it,
even though you knew...

And I'd like to know
how you know my name.

Is this some kind of sick game?

This isn't something you can
explain on a crazy golf course.

- You're unbelievable!
- How am I the bad guy?

I didn't make anybody do
anything they didn't want to.

The main thing is Sean is here.

- Sean is here?
- Yeah, and the important...

Sean's here.

- I can't deal with this.
- You can.

- Sean's here.
- I think she gets the message.

No! I mean, Sean's here.

Gail, what am I going to do?

Just speak to him. You can do it.

Right, I can do this.

Oh, no, I can't do this!

- What's she doing?
- She's bad at confrontations.

No, shit, Sherlock.

Hi, can I get a coke, please?

I just want to be with Madeline.

- Sean.
- Hey.

- How's it going?
- It's not.

I can't talk, I must find her.

Sean. Sean!

- What?
- It's Madeline...

She's waiting for you at the pier.

- Is she?
- Yeah.

How do you know?

Sean, it's me, Jody. I know.

What?

You wouldn't happen
to be Madeline, would you?

Hey! That puts me in the lead.

Gail, not that I care, but
aren't you worried about Madeline?

It's better not to get involved.
She needs to sort this out herself.

To be frank, I'm getting
a little tired of it all.

Blah, blah, Sean's avoiding me...

Haven't seen him for weeks,
blah, blah...

Slept with Vincent, blah, blah...
It was rubbish...

Vincent was rubbish?!

Well, I don't know
if that were her exact words.

I know that I should
go talk to him, it's just...

I did something so stupid,
it'll ruin everything.

- Madeline...
- I don't want to split up.

That's why I came here -
to avoid him.

You two make the perfect couple.

Jesus, you're both so selfish!

You think this just affects
the two of you?

Why? What do you mean?

What about me?
I have to put up with it every night.

Sean going on and on and on about it.

If you don't get out there
right now and sort this out...

- I can't face him.
- Yes, you can.

This isn't the playground.
You're not five years old.

And he loves you.

He loves me?

It's Sean, Inaction Man, and
he's come all the way out here.

You work it out.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Is this about the wallpaper, then?

Yeah.

This is going to sound stupid, but...

I'm really pleased to see you.

Yeah, and I almost wish you
weren't here cos...

I've got something to tell you.

I did something bad.

Really bad.

I slept with your friend, Vincent.

Oh.

- Oh?
- Oh.

Wow! I expected...

I don't really know what I expected.

But something a little more
X-rated than just "Oh".

- Oh.
- Sean, if you say oh again...

- I knew.
- What?

I knew.

You knew.

Oh, my God.

And still you came out here.
You poor thing.

- Madeline, listen.
- I'm the lowest of the low.

- Madeline.
- Lower even.

- Madeline.
- What?

I did something bad.

- Really bad.
- What?

What did you do?

I don't believe this!

For a minute there,
when I saw you standing next to...

King Kong, I was so pleased
you came out here

and I... and I thought
maybe we had a chance.

- But now...
- We still have a chance.

A chance? People in burning
buildings have a chance.

People in comas have a chance.

Fucking we don't have a chance.
You slept with someone else!

- You slept with someone else.
- It wasn't like that!

It's Vincent, it's always like that.

It wasn't like that.

- I'm just going to freshen up.
- Sure.

♪ I wanna know what love is

♪ I want you to show me

♪ I wanna feel what love is

♪ I know you can show me... ♪

'I didn't do it because I wanted to.
I did it because...

'I didn't know anything any more.'

I didn't know whether
I was pretty or ugly, or...

what was happening with us.

And now everything's ruined.

Everything we've ever done,

from our first date,
moving in together, everything.

We could have come out here,
stood at the pier,

shouted at each other,
skipped the whole middle part.

- I'll show you a trick.
- Ok.

This pound coin,

I'll shove all the way through
my body into that hand, ok?

Ok.

Up along there

along the shoulders,
down this arm

- There you go. Yeah.
- No!

- Do it again.
- Do it again?

- It takes a lot out of me.
- Do it again.

Ok. Normal pound coins
for this stunt.

Let me see. No.

- So how's it going?
- It's weird.

We're sitting there, just
talking away like real people.

- Any interesting side effects?
- No, none at all.

I actually... I actually asked
her out, straight and simple.

- You asked her out? Wow!
- Yeah.

- So what did she say?
- Well, she said no. But I asked her.

I'm proud of you, Lenny.

Um... excuse me,
have you lost something?

Yeah, I have. I seem to have
lost my phone number.

I was wondering could I have yours?

Are you taking the piss?

- Did you see that?
- Saw it and enjoyed it.

If I wasn't so shallow,

I might be having a crisis
of confidence right now.

Vincent.

What?

Just be glad you are
such a shallow person.

Yeah, thanks, Jody.

'You sure you wanna do this?'

Sounds weird,
but I just want some kind of...

I don't know, some kind of memento.

- Memento?
- It's a girl thing, you know.

Yeah, sure, getting your photos
taken with your ex-boyfriend.

Wow... ex-boyfriend.

- Yeah, it does sound weird.
- Oh, damn.

We got three more.

Yeah, right, we can do this.

Madeline, if this is the end of the
line for us, who's going to move out?

- What?
- Of the flat.

- One of us will have to move.
- I'm really fond of the flat.

- So am I.
- Sean!

Damn it! I'm not moving out,
end of story.

I'm not moving out, end of story.

- 'One of us has to.'
- 'Not me.'

'It's not going to be me.'

How do you think it's going?

- Is that a serious question?
- You two, shh!

I'm trying to learn something here.

'Me? You're
the one being unreasonable.'

- 'We could always share.'
- 'What?'

'I could sleep there
days, you nights.'

- Why don't we go back out then?
- Fine, forget it.

Just like the bad old days.

Yeah.

They weren't that bad.

I think it's about to pop.

I know.

It's our last chance.

♪ ..moon that hangs over
these dreams in the mist

♪ Darkness on the edge

♪ Shadows where I stand

♪ I search for the time
on a watch with no hands

♪ I want to see you clearly
come closer than this

♪ But all I remember

♪ Are the dreams in the mist

♪ These dreams go on
when I close my eyes

♪ Every second of the night
I live another life

♪ These dreams that sleep
when it's cold outside

♪ Every moment I'm awake,
the further I'm away

♪ Is it cloak and dagger,
could it be spring or fall? ♪

♪ Make it

♪ The sun is shining,
the weather is sweet, yeah, whoa

♪ Makes you want to move
those dancing feet

♪ To the rescue

♪ Oh, here I am

♪ I want you to know y'all,
here I stand

♪ As the morning gathers a rainbow
I want you to know y'all

♪ That I'm a rainbow with you

♪ Cos I'm a hero like Robert De Niro

♪ I know an Ital Rasta man

♪ I gotta keep I heights,
protection until time

♪ The sun is shining, yeah

♪ War is explosive,
we've got to demonstrate

♪ Demonstrate, you got to demonstrate

♪ Don't fight

♪ Cos the sun is shining...
for you

♪ There's nothing else to do

♪ Sun is shining,
the weather is sweet, yeah, whoa

♪ Makes you want to move
those dancing feet

♪ To the rescue

♪ Oh, here I am

♪ I want you to know y'all
here I stand

♪ As the morning gathers
a rainbow

♪ I want you to know now

♪ That I'm a rainbow with you

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa... yeah

♪ Test the eye, test the eye

♪ Fear no evil

♪ Channel like a lion,
channel like a lion

♪ Some say, yeah

♪ Money in my, one on one

♪ Money in my pocket

♪ But I just can't get your love

♪ Some say, yeah

♪ When the sun is shining,
don't fight

♪ You've got soul
and you're chopping it up aero

♪ For you

♪ There's nothing else to do... ♪

'I know we've only just
met, but can I tell you a story?'

'I suppose.'

'There was this guy I knew,

'worked nights,
only his girlfriend worked days.

'Though they shared a flat,
they never saw each other.'

- 'That's a shame.'
- 'Yeah, anyway...

'This guy used to go home
after each shift,

'check the pillow,
the towels, the soap,

'looking for signs his
girlfriend still lived there.'

- 'And did she?'
- 'Yeah, but things went haywire.'

'That's not the point.
This guy - think about it -

'he's actually checking the soap
to see if it's getting smaller.

- 'Don't you think that's so...'
- 'Romantic.'

- 'Romantic?!'
- 'Don't you think so?

'Like they were leaving little
clues for each other.'

'That's not the word
I was looking for.'

I think that's a lovely story.'

'Sure, the point is...
what I'm trying to get at is...

- 'Would you go to bed with me?'
- 'What?'

'Vincent,
leave that girl alone.'