Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:23,207 --> 00:00:24,708
Watch it!
2
00:00:34,927 --> 00:00:38,847
Just like the one that got away
3
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:41,225
so close, but yet so far
4
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:42,726
up the creek
5
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,229
I threw my hook into the water
6
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,231
I nearly caught her
7
00:00:48,065 --> 00:00:49,316
how bizarre
8
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,069
now I'm up the creek
9
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,988
though I have lost a little pride
10
00:00:54,071 --> 00:00:55,698
I'm up the creek
11
00:00:55,781 --> 00:00:57,491
I know that time is on my side
12
00:00:57,575 --> 00:00:59,451
I'm up the creek
13
00:00:59,535 --> 00:01:01,328
though you have pulled the plug on me
14
00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:03,205
I'm up the creek
15
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:05,165
there's more than one fish in the sea
16
00:01:05,249 --> 00:01:07,001
I'm not about to let it be
17
00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:09,420
I know that I am up the creek
18
00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:12,298
hey! Hey!
19
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:19,680
The foreign legion's always there
20
00:01:20,055 --> 00:01:22,516
I need a holiday
21
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,395
daydream in the desert
22
00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:28,230
with no pressure
23
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:32,985
that's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
24
00:01:33,068 --> 00:01:34,820
oh, I've lost a little pride
25
00:01:34,903 --> 00:01:36,739
I'm up the creek
26
00:01:36,822 --> 00:01:38,657
I know that time is on my side
27
00:01:38,741 --> 00:01:40,451
I'm up the creek
28
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,161
though you have pulled the plug on me
29
00:01:42,244 --> 00:01:44,204
I'm up the creek
30
00:01:44,288 --> 00:01:46,081
there's more than one fish in the sea
31
00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:47,916
I'm not about to let it be
32
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,336
I know that I am up the creek
33
00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:54,965
I'm up the creek
34
00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,842
without a paddle
35
00:01:56,925 --> 00:01:58,677
I'm up the creek
36
00:01:58,761 --> 00:02:01,055
but that don't matter at all
37
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,225
don't matter at all
38
00:02:07,936 --> 00:02:09,813
I'm up the creek
39
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,649
without a paddle
40
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,275
I'm up the creek
41
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:16,528
but it don't matter at all
42
00:02:17,988 --> 00:02:20,491
don't matter at all
43
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,036
oh!
44
00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:27,081
Hey! Hey!
45
00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:38,926
Lepetomane un iversity
last campus
46
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:58,946
lepetomane
security
47
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,466
excuse me, could you...
48
00:03:22,177 --> 00:03:24,138
What a big nightstick!
49
00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,870
Mom? No! Take me!
50
00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:50,664
It wasn't Mr. moo-moo.
Don't wake Mr. moo-moo!
51
00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:51,874
No!
52
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,640
Okay, okay.
How about lunch?
53
00:04:08,724 --> 00:04:09,808
Gotta get lunch, right?
54
00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,351
Max, it's five in the morning!
55
00:04:11,435 --> 00:04:13,771
What about dinner?
You gotta get hungry sometime today...
56
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:14,897
Hello?
57
00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:18,984
Desperation's not pretty.
58
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,887
Cheese!
59
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,740
Hey!
60
00:05:17,668 --> 00:05:19,670
See Jose run.
61
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,841
Run, Jose, run!
62
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,514
Jose has no green card.
63
00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:44,987
It was open!
64
00:05:45,195 --> 00:05:47,197
Get out of bed, McGraw,
we haven't got all day.
65
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,324
The 200's out then, huh?
66
00:05:49,408 --> 00:05:50,951
I've seen your record, McGraw.
67
00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:52,744
I know what kind of a guy you are,
68
00:05:52,828 --> 00:05:54,371
so don't give me
an excuse to use this.
69
00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:57,249
Your mother's ugly.
You're stupid.
70
00:05:57,332 --> 00:05:58,750
- Your sister makes it with...
- You stinkin'...
71
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,878
Stop it, Leslie.
Get ahold of yourself!
72
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,504
Don't let this jerk get to you.
73
00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:04,882
Come on, I'm sorry.
74
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,884
Let's just forget
i said anything, okay?
75
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,177
Let's be pals.
76
00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:11,763
What do you say, Leslie?
77
00:06:11,847 --> 00:06:13,015
Leslie!
78
00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:14,766
Come on,
let me hit him just once.
79
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,519
Just one little crack on the head,
that's all I'm askin'.
80
00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:20,480
All right. Just a little one.
But make it fast.
81
00:06:20,731 --> 00:06:22,274
Hey, don't you guys
have a sense of humor?
82
00:06:30,908 --> 00:06:32,618
Get rid of the bottle, McGraw.
83
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:35,329
Oh, Leslie.
For you, anything.
84
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:39,791
Come on. Come on.
85
00:06:54,598 --> 00:06:55,933
Hey!
86
00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,393
Dean burch.
87
00:06:59,811 --> 00:07:03,148
You've had quite a colorful
career as a student, Mr. McGraw.
88
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,902
You've managed to be suspended,
expelled, or physically thrown out of
89
00:07:06,985 --> 00:07:09,738
16 colleges and universities
throughout the country.
90
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:14,159
You've changed your major 23 times.
91
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,995
And your presence has been tied directly
92
00:07:17,079 --> 00:07:20,332
to three university presidents
losing their jobs,
93
00:07:20,791 --> 00:07:23,418
two others being
committed to sanitariums,
94
00:07:23,502 --> 00:07:25,921
and at least one known suicide.
95
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,799
Have I left anything out?
96
00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:30,550
Just the good stuff.
97
00:07:34,972 --> 00:07:36,640
Mr. McGraw, as you are aware,
98
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,935
this university, our university
99
00:07:40,018 --> 00:07:44,189
has the reputation as the single worst
educational institution in the country.
100
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,066
That's because it is the worst
101
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:48,318
educational institution
in the country, sir.
102
00:07:48,944 --> 00:07:52,280
Do you realize
that not one single student,
103
00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:54,992
including you, and them,
104
00:07:55,951 --> 00:07:58,745
has ever won any award
for anything?
105
00:07:59,287 --> 00:08:02,040
Not one ribbon, not one trophy.
106
00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:04,668
In fact,
the only certifiable recognition
107
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,254
that any of our alumni
have ever received
108
00:08:07,337 --> 00:08:08,839
is a parole.
109
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:16,263
Mr. McGraw,
every year for the past 15 years
110
00:08:16,346 --> 00:08:18,390
the colleges and
universities of this country
111
00:08:18,473 --> 00:08:21,685
have held an
intercollegiate raft race.
112
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,440
If just once we...
113
00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:28,859
I mean you
114
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,778
could win this race for our school,
115
00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:33,697
it would mean an end
116
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,033
to jokes like "lobotomy u."
117
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,791
It would mean that
for the first time in our history...
118
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:49,588
Let me clarify my position,
so that you can understand.
119
00:08:50,005 --> 00:08:52,507
A raft means a river,
120
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:55,510
and a river means rapids,
121
00:08:55,594 --> 00:08:58,388
and rapids spells death.
122
00:08:58,847 --> 00:09:00,098
You got the wrong guy!
123
00:09:00,557 --> 00:09:02,350
Not so fast, McGraw!
124
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,352
Okay.
125
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:07,898
You've got the wrong guy.
126
00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:10,233
Excuse me, Dean burch.
127
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,278
Um, I think there's another point
that should be made.
128
00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:14,988
I don't need this aggravation,
129
00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:17,115
and this really
doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
130
00:09:17,199 --> 00:09:18,867
I'm damned if I'll let my university
131
00:09:18,950 --> 00:09:21,369
be the laughing stock
of this country any longer!
132
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:24,289
I want a victory with a capital "v"
and I want it now!
133
00:09:24,623 --> 00:09:27,125
No more excuses!
No more holding back!
134
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,920
That's why I picked you.
And them!
135
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:32,130
You have the distinct honor of being
136
00:09:32,214 --> 00:09:34,841
the four worst students
in the entire country.
137
00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:37,594
You are not
at the bottom of the list,
138
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,805
you are the bottom of the list!
139
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,600
That's why you're going to
win this race for me and lepetomane.
140
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,436
You're the only men
who virtually have nothing left to lose!
141
00:09:47,062 --> 00:09:48,688
Except my temper.
142
00:09:49,314 --> 00:09:50,816
Mr. mcg raw,
143
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:53,610
I'm not asking you
to do this for nothing.
144
00:09:54,152 --> 00:09:57,531
In fact, I'm prepared to
make a very generous offer.
145
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,117
Degrees.
146
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:02,536
For all of you.
147
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:05,080
Degrees?
148
00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:07,290
In whatever subject you like.
149
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,167
English lit?
150
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:10,877
If that's what you want.
151
00:10:10,961 --> 00:10:13,380
Providing, of course, that you win.
152
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:14,798
Physics?
153
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,425
Biochemistry.
With a minor in art history.
154
00:10:17,926 --> 00:10:19,136
Home es'?
155
00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:27,561
And what if I say no?
156
00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:31,398
I was hoping
we could avoid this scene,
157
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:34,442
but since you feel
the need to test me...
158
00:10:34,776 --> 00:10:36,945
I suppose you know nothing
about the student loans
159
00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:40,198
you've taken out
in 35 different names.
160
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:44,077
Or last semester's bookmaking
operation in the computer center.
161
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:47,747
You think you can blackmail me
162
00:10:47,831 --> 00:10:51,001
into playing this
little game of yours, don't you?
163
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:53,420
Well, I got news for you, mister.
164
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,756
This ain't just any dumb schmo
you're dealing with here,
165
00:10:57,215 --> 00:11:01,386
this is Bob McGraw.
The Bob McGraw.
166
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,848
And it's gonna take men
a lot bigger than you
167
00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:07,767
to make this guy play ball.
168
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,740
How about poli-sci?
169
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:26,703
I don't believe it!
170
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,955
Bob, listen to this.
She dumped me!
171
00:11:29,039 --> 00:11:30,582
Aw, come on, Max.
172
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:33,168
Bob, she said she never
wants to see me again.
173
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,795
Let me tell you something about women.
174
00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:38,548
They always say
the opposite of what they mean.
175
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:40,383
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
176
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,636
"If you come within
a three block radius of my house,
177
00:11:42,719 --> 00:11:45,013
"i will have my new boyfriend vito
178
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:47,807
"rip off your head
and spit in your neck."
179
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,644
You're right, kid.
You've been dumped.
180
00:11:50,727 --> 00:11:52,729
Forget about her.
Have a drink, huh?
181
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,398
The bar is now open.
Cocktails, anyone?
182
00:11:55,899 --> 00:11:58,235
- Banana daiquiri.
- Martini, straight up.
183
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,029
Okay. Here you go,
extra dry, just the way you like it.
184
00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,447
Thank you.
185
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,991
How about you, big guy?
186
00:12:05,075 --> 00:12:06,284
I'm all set.
187
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,790
Gonzer, do you realize
what you're doing to your body?
188
00:12:12,123 --> 00:12:13,625
That stuff's gonna kill you!
189
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,044
Maybe not today
and maybe not tomorrow,
190
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:18,171
but soon,
and for the rest of your โfie.
191
00:12:18,255 --> 00:12:19,673
Gonz, your body is your temple.
192
00:12:19,756 --> 00:12:22,050
If you don't worship it,
who will?
193
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:24,552
And, gonz, your temple
is starting to resemble the astrodome.
194
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,557
Hey, Max is right.
Get rid of that shit.
195
00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:31,893
Come on, gonzer,
show food who's boss.
196
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,103
Throw it out the window.
197
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,022
Gonzer! Gonzer!
198
00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:39,693
Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer!
199
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,576
- That's the way to go!
- All right, gonz!
200
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,328
What would you like to drink?
201
00:12:50,912 --> 00:12:53,039
- Let me have a Brandy Alexander.
- Brandy Alexander.
202
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,542
There you go.
Especially for you.
203
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:57,794
Gonz, you look thinner already.
204
00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:00,880
Excuse me. Excuse me.
205
00:13:02,924 --> 00:13:07,345
Uh, look, Bob,
i know we're not exactly the best.
206
00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:10,223
As a matter of fact,
we're not even very good.
207
00:13:10,307 --> 00:13:12,183
But, uh, do you think
we have a chance?
208
00:13:12,809 --> 00:13:14,686
Everybody's got a chance, kid.
209
00:13:14,769 --> 00:13:16,604
This is America.
210
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,732
Let's take you, for example.
211
00:13:18,815 --> 00:13:20,984
Skinny, uncoordinated,
212
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,611
got a yellow streak
down your back a mile wide,
213
00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:26,948
you're anemic,
you dress like a creep,
214
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:29,868
you've got the personality
of a Mayo and baloney on white.
215
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:33,997
You're the kind of guy most people
wouldn't give the time of day to.
216
00:13:34,789 --> 00:13:35,999
What does that mean?
217
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,292
I don't know.
218
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:38,543
- That doesn't mean...
- Bob!
219
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:39,711
...you don't have a chance.
220
00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:40,837
Look at me!
221
00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,801
Gee, I never thought of it like that.
222
00:13:47,177 --> 00:13:48,928
Hey, don't mention it, kid.
223
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,895
Oh, geez!
224
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,396
Gonzer!
225
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,150
Oh, man!
226
00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:04,110
Gonzer!
227
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,821
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
228
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:08,948
It wasn't me, man.
229
00:14:09,908 --> 00:14:11,284
Who was it?
230
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,328
- It wasn't!
- Who was it?
231
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:14,913
It was Chuck!
232
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,888
Ivy u! Ivy u!
233
00:14:44,609 --> 00:14:45,902
Roland tozer.
234
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,612
- Rex crandall.
- Rex.
235
00:14:47,946 --> 00:14:49,364
- Roger Van dyke.
- Roger.
236
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:53,284
Men, I have a lot of race preparation
to do before tomorrow morning.
237
00:14:53,368 --> 00:14:57,080
What do you say we just cut the bullshit
and get down to business?
238
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,917
Standard race equipment.
239
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,587
Regulation handle,
stock and blade.
240
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,756
With the exception of
a little added feature.
241
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,760
Which is quite effective
when it comes to
242
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,888
slashing the tubes of rafts
without dropping a stroke.
243
00:15:14,264 --> 00:15:16,349
-Impressive.
- Adequate.
244
00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:18,560
You haven't seen anything yet.
245
00:15:18,935 --> 00:15:21,020
The Ivy u race kit.
246
00:15:21,104 --> 00:15:23,022
Baby!
247
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:26,443
These ought to take care
of any front runners.
248
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,861
Explosives!
249
00:15:28,778 --> 00:15:29,988
Is this it?
250
00:15:30,071 --> 00:15:33,158
Not to worry.
There's plenty more back at my house.
251
00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:35,910
What you cannot destroy or disable,
252
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:38,455
I will have my referees disqualify.
253
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,957
Good. Very good.
254
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:45,378
Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds,
just like you requested.
255
00:15:45,753 --> 00:15:47,338
Well, thanks.
256
00:15:47,422 --> 00:15:49,424
Would you like the trophy now,
257
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,051
or do you want to wait until
you actually cross the finish line?
258
00:15:52,427 --> 00:15:54,220
What,
and disappoint the crowd?
259
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,724
I can't wait to be
standing on my deck
260
00:15:57,807 --> 00:16:00,894
watching you come
around that bend. Thanks.
261
00:16:01,478 --> 00:16:03,229
Aren't you gonna count it?
262
00:16:04,439 --> 00:16:08,067
What, distrust of an alumnus?
Class of '63.
263
00:16:10,445 --> 00:16:12,322
I'll see you in the winner's circle.
264
00:16:12,614 --> 00:16:14,115
Thank you, sir.
265
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:19,120
Hinewille
gas - food - beer - fishing tackle
266
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:40,266
I need a shave. Bath.
Cup of coffee and a good woman.
267
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,937
Something told me
we've come to the wrong place.
268
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,063
Fill it up, gonz.
269
00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:51,486
You got any money?
270
00:16:57,909 --> 00:16:59,452
What the hell's this?
271
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,125
Will you check the oil?
272
00:17:06,209 --> 00:17:08,586
Yes, sir.
Just as soon as I'm done here.
273
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,755
What the heck,
I'll do that for you.
274
00:17:10,838 --> 00:17:13,091
No use you standing there
holding your hose.
275
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,427
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot.
276
00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:19,138
Sure. That's it there.
277
00:17:21,224 --> 00:17:22,433
- Hiya.
- Hi, how are ya?
278
00:17:22,517 --> 00:17:23,643
Not bad. Yourself?
279
00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:25,061
- Okay.
- Good.
280
00:17:26,229 --> 00:17:27,522
Lots of grit.
281
00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:29,941
Yeah, they get
that way, I guess.
282
00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:36,030
Looks good.
283
00:17:36,114 --> 00:17:37,740
Looks great to me.
284
00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:44,247
Wait. Wait.
Maybe you better check the battery.
285
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,873
It's in here somewhere.
I'm not sure where it is.
286
00:17:45,957 --> 00:17:47,125
It's over here.
287
00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:50,003
- Oh, that's a big one.
- Yeah, they gotta be.
288
00:17:50,378 --> 00:17:51,421
Get up!
289
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,381
You give me a hard on!
290
00:17:53,464 --> 00:17:54,507
Get up!
291
00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:56,884
Party!
292
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,637
Ivy u! Ivy u!
293
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:27,040
Listen to this part, you guys.
294
00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:30,209
"His strong hands
ran over her hardened nipples.
295
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,754
"The tender touch
of his glistening body
296
00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:35,882
"sent shock waves
running through her naked breasts."
297
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,635
I believe I've read
this book before, Molly.
298
00:18:39,135 --> 00:18:40,553
You know, I think I read it, too.
299
00:18:40,637 --> 00:18:42,013
I think it's in the next chapter
300
00:18:42,096 --> 00:18:44,891
where they start talking about
his "throbbing spaceship of love."
301
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:47,977
Ls that what rexy-poo calls it?
302
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,438
Never mind, corky.
303
00:18:52,523 --> 00:18:55,777
Look! It's rexy and the Ivy boys.
304
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:57,528
If it isn't the spaceship of love.
305
00:18:57,612 --> 00:18:59,906
And it's throbbing away, I'm sure.
306
00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:02,492
Can you believe it?
We actually caught up with these guys!
307
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,077
At 110 miles per hour,
308
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,662
I'm surprised
we didn't run them over.
309
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:06,788
Really!
310
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,514
Looks like Rex has other things
on his mind besides me.
311
00:19:24,972 --> 00:19:26,099
Oh!
312
00:19:26,808 --> 00:19:28,434
Fill it up, okay?
313
00:19:38,528 --> 00:19:40,863
Okay. Ls there anything else?
314
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,533
Gaskets? New upholstery?
Retreads? Paint job?
315
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,576
No, I think that's about it.
316
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,161
I think everything's okey-dokey.
317
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:48,329
- O key-dokey?
- Yeah.
318
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,379
Wait!
319
00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:05,680
Is that it?
320
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,765
Well, the air cleaner.
321
00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:10,643
We've been having trouble
with the suction.
322
00:20:13,521 --> 00:20:16,274
Rex, I know you're in there!
Now open this door now!
323
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,193
Ladies!
324
00:20:19,277 --> 00:20:20,820
May I be of some assistance here?
325
00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:22,113
Not unless you can open that door.
326
00:20:22,196 --> 00:20:23,573
No problem. Hair pin?
327
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:27,034
- Heather!
- Listen, if you guys aren't busy later...
328
00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:31,789
You can't see a thing.
329
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,584
Come on, Rex has got
business to take care of.
330
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:42,425
Heather! Hi.
331
00:20:43,551 --> 00:20:46,387
Peaches!
What are you doing here?
332
00:20:47,722 --> 00:20:50,141
That's it. That does it.
It's over!
333
00:20:51,225 --> 00:20:52,560
Maybe dinner?
Some dancing?
334
00:20:52,643 --> 00:20:53,895
You're an asshole!
335
00:20:53,978 --> 00:20:55,146
Asshole already?
336
00:20:55,229 --> 00:20:56,397
Heather, wait a minute!
337
00:20:57,231 --> 00:20:59,025
Chuck, next time don't drink
out of the toilet bowl
338
00:20:59,108 --> 00:21:00,193
till I check it first, okay?
339
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:02,737
- Heather...
- Not now.
340
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,239
Heather!
341
00:21:05,406 --> 00:21:06,699
I have nothing to say to you.
342
00:21:06,783 --> 00:21:08,326
I'm sure if you just
took the time to get to know me
343
00:21:08,409 --> 00:21:09,911
-we could work something out.
- Heather.
344
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,580
I don't even want to see you again, ever.
Do you understand that?
345
00:21:12,663 --> 00:21:13,998
You are nothing
but a cheap, lying bastard.
346
00:21:14,081 --> 00:21:16,125
- L've had enough!
- Calm down!
347
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:18,753
Who are you?
Get out of my way.
348
00:21:18,836 --> 00:21:19,962
No, no, no. She's right.
349
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,715
You are a cheap, lying bastard
and we've had enough.
350
00:21:22,799 --> 00:21:24,300
You stinkin'...
351
00:21:27,345 --> 00:21:29,138
I'm so sorry, Heather! I...
352
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:31,557
Take your hands off her!
353
00:21:31,641 --> 00:21:32,892
Take your hands off of me!
354
00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:34,852
Take your hands off of her!
355
00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:38,481
If ever I can be
of further assistance,
356
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,191
feel free to call on me.
357
00:21:40,274 --> 00:21:42,485
Anytime, anywhere.
358
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,031
Thank you.
359
00:21:52,787 --> 00:21:54,121
You son of a bitch.
360
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,002
Sorry.
361
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:02,880
You get in my way again,
and you're gonna be sorry you were born.
362
00:22:03,172 --> 00:22:05,925
He knew then and there that the
friendship they had had since youth
363
00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:08,135
had died a sudden
and tragic death,
364
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:09,929
destroyed by
the love of a woman.
365
00:22:14,976 --> 00:22:17,228
Heather! Cupcake, listen to me!
366
00:22:17,311 --> 00:22:18,771
Forget it, Rex! You're history!
367
00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:21,065
Shit.
368
00:22:23,651 --> 00:22:26,320
213.37 - total sale
155.9 - gallons
369
00:22:26,404 --> 00:22:28,197
$213.37?
370
00:22:30,241 --> 00:22:32,076
Keep the change, pal.
371
00:22:45,172 --> 00:22:47,592
I don't think I need
to remind you gentlemen
372
00:22:47,675 --> 00:22:49,635
about the importance of this race.
373
00:22:50,344 --> 00:22:52,763
I don't think I have to
bore you with the fact
374
00:22:52,847 --> 00:22:54,932
that the Washington military institute
375
00:22:55,016 --> 00:22:58,644
has won this race
for the past three years!
376
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:01,063
I don't think I need
to stress the fact
377
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:04,108
that we will win this race
at any cost,
378
00:23:04,191 --> 00:23:07,278
because a corpsman,
in his heart, in his gut,
379
00:23:07,361 --> 00:23:09,155
knows no such thing as defeat!
380
00:23:10,698 --> 00:23:13,451
Victory is the only thing he'll eat.
381
00:23:13,951 --> 00:23:15,661
And he'll eat it raw!
382
00:23:16,203 --> 00:23:17,955
Will we win?
383
00:23:18,039 --> 00:23:19,165
Yes, sir!
384
00:23:19,624 --> 00:23:21,125
Then move out!
385
00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:23,127
Detail, hut!
386
00:23:29,342 --> 00:23:31,302
All right, roll!
387
00:23:33,137 --> 00:23:34,722
You see that?
388
00:23:35,389 --> 00:23:40,937
Welcome river racers
389
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:48,194
a town like any other town.
390
00:23:48,277 --> 00:23:50,529
A town with nothing to hide.
391
00:23:50,613 --> 00:23:53,115
Until they arrived.
392
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:54,533
Okay!
393
00:23:58,955 --> 00:24:00,498
Come on, Chuck.
394
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:03,292
Here we are.
395
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:05,753
Ladies.
396
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:14,595
Gonzer! Down, boy!
Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy.
397
00:24:19,809 --> 00:24:21,435
Nice finger.
398
00:24:21,519 --> 00:24:22,937
I was just checking out
the competition.
399
00:24:23,270 --> 00:24:24,563
Come on, Chuck!
400
00:24:26,774 --> 00:24:29,402
We're the men from wm!
401
00:24:29,485 --> 00:24:31,320
Shalom aleichem.
402
00:24:32,196 --> 00:24:34,699
Yeah, a few more guys...
403
00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:38,703
Excuse me.
404
00:24:38,786 --> 00:24:40,830
Is that spacelab
up there?
405
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:42,957
- No, I guess not.
- No.
406
00:24:51,966 --> 00:24:54,969
The competition looks
a little weirder than I expected.
407
00:25:01,142 --> 00:25:03,519
What's the matter, Chuck?
You're not thirsty?
408
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:11,110
Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck?
409
00:25:12,737 --> 00:25:14,155
It's reaching out to you.
410
00:25:14,238 --> 00:25:15,781
It's pulling you from the gut.
411
00:25:15,990 --> 00:25:17,199
Isn't that right, boy?
412
00:25:17,575 --> 00:25:20,745
You meet me tomorrow morning,
10:00, at the portage.
413
00:25:20,828 --> 00:25:22,288
Don't be late.
414
00:25:22,371 --> 00:25:25,416
Come here, come here.
Come here, slugger.
415
00:25:28,836 --> 00:25:31,672
Don't stay up all night,
and don't drink too much.
416
00:25:31,756 --> 00:25:35,551
Remember that night on the West Side
with that bitch, binga, binga?
417
00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:36,969
Go on, get outta here.
418
00:25:39,889 --> 00:25:41,348
Horny bastard.
419
00:25:48,981 --> 00:25:50,316
Thank you.
420
00:25:53,527 --> 00:25:54,820
Nice jugs.
421
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,453
Ringside seats.
422
00:26:04,872 --> 00:26:06,999
Lively crowd, huh?
423
00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:09,710
Hey, did you order me
that old fashioned?
424
00:26:09,794 --> 00:26:12,088
Oh, yeah, just the way
you like it, extra bitters.
425
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:15,174
I knew I could count on you.
Here's to mediocrity.
426
00:26:15,257 --> 00:26:17,134
Mediocrity, yeah!
427
00:26:24,058 --> 00:26:25,351
Nice right cross.
428
00:26:27,770 --> 00:26:30,189
Now, there's a girl
who knows how to party.
429
00:26:35,152 --> 00:26:36,612
Gonz,
who ordered this?
430
00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:38,155
I'll take it.
431
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:44,078
There's the woman-hitter
and his colleagues.
432
00:26:44,161 --> 00:26:45,496
Nice hair.
433
00:26:49,708 --> 00:26:51,335
I don't think he likes you.
434
00:26:54,964 --> 00:26:57,591
Would you look at
all that beefcake.
435
00:26:58,134 --> 00:27:00,928
The odds are definitely in our favor.
436
00:27:01,011 --> 00:27:02,680
Take no prisoners.
437
00:27:07,017 --> 00:27:08,602
- Here you go, ladies.
- Thanks.
438
00:27:08,686 --> 00:27:09,979
My pleasure.
439
00:27:10,354 --> 00:27:12,731
So you girls here
for the big race tomorrow?
440
00:27:12,815 --> 00:27:16,026
No, actually,
we're here to get laid.
441
00:27:21,198 --> 00:27:22,533
Look at that one there!
442
00:27:22,616 --> 00:27:24,493
Gonzer, that's a guy.
443
00:27:29,665 --> 00:27:31,083
Hey, can I buy you a drink, irwin?
444
00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:32,668
No, no, I'm fine.
445
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:34,128
Pink dress.
446
00:27:34,587 --> 00:27:36,005
Max, no!
447
00:27:36,088 --> 00:27:37,298
Come on.
448
00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:42,094
Is it slowing?
449
00:27:55,816 --> 00:27:57,318
- Way to go, gonz!
- Good job, buddy!
450
00:27:58,903 --> 00:28:02,531
Gentlemen!
Soldiers, the map! Once again.
451
00:28:03,032 --> 00:28:04,158
Johnson!
452
00:28:04,241 --> 00:28:06,243
We enter left,
we paddle right behind the big rock.
453
00:28:06,327 --> 00:28:08,370
Then left again
past the dead tree, sir!
454
00:28:08,454 --> 00:28:09,580
Brown !
455
00:28:09,663 --> 00:28:11,707
Hard forward
till we reach the turn of the rapids,
456
00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:13,042
then hug the shore, sir.
457
00:28:13,334 --> 00:28:14,668
Lieutenant Whitney!
458
00:28:14,752 --> 00:28:16,420
Baron's rapids,
head for the hole,
459
00:28:16,503 --> 00:28:19,298
do a 360 degree turn
and paddle hard right, sir!
460
00:28:19,632 --> 00:28:21,300
Good. Good.
461
00:28:21,926 --> 00:28:24,136
Now it's time for night-night.
462
00:28:25,512 --> 00:28:30,392
All right, guys, there's work to be done.
It's sabotage time.
463
00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:43,489
- What do you want?
- Stoli with a twist.
464
00:28:46,867 --> 00:28:48,202
Thank you.
465
00:29:07,721 --> 00:29:08,931
Hey, want a little popcorn?
466
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:11,016
Oh! Excuse me.
Gosh, I spilled that.
467
00:29:11,433 --> 00:29:13,185
I'll get it. That's...
468
00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:19,149
Hey, watch it.
469
00:29:19,775 --> 00:29:20,985
Watch what?
470
00:29:21,068 --> 00:29:23,904
Watch what a fool
i can make out of myself.
471
00:29:24,154 --> 00:29:25,906
Is that worth watching?
472
00:29:26,448 --> 00:29:27,783
I'm very good at it,
473
00:29:27,866 --> 00:29:31,370
especially when I'm in the company
of such an attractive woman.
474
00:29:31,453 --> 00:29:33,455
Haven't we met
somewhere before?
475
00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:36,917
L suppose
476
00:29:37,001 --> 00:29:39,586
next you're gonna ask me
if you can buy me a drink.
477
00:29:39,962 --> 00:29:42,172
"Aha" he says to himself,
478
00:29:42,256 --> 00:29:45,884
"here is a woman who knows
a come-on when she hears one.
479
00:29:46,593 --> 00:29:48,679
"He thinks he's got her
where he wants her,
480
00:29:48,762 --> 00:29:50,389
"but he has to make sure."
481
00:29:51,015 --> 00:29:52,725
Can I buy you a drink?
482
00:29:53,267 --> 00:29:55,894
She refuses with a shake
of her beautiful head.
483
00:29:55,978 --> 00:29:57,271
That's perfect!
484
00:29:57,354 --> 00:30:01,317
She's passed the second test,
but she's not an easy mark.
485
00:30:02,192 --> 00:30:04,069
Still, he must try the last line.
486
00:30:04,737 --> 00:30:05,863
What...
487
00:30:05,946 --> 00:30:07,072
What's your major?
488
00:30:08,282 --> 00:30:09,575
Gin and tonic.
489
00:30:09,658 --> 00:30:10,909
Gin and tonic for the lady!
490
00:30:14,288 --> 00:30:16,540
Make it two, will you?
Thank you, my man.
491
00:30:16,623 --> 00:30:18,417
You wanna fool around?
You wanna get married?
492
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:19,668
Want fellatio or what?
493
00:30:19,752 --> 00:30:22,421
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me to back off.
494
00:30:22,504 --> 00:30:24,298
How about a name first?
495
00:30:24,381 --> 00:30:27,134
An old-fashioned girl,
i like that.
496
00:30:27,676 --> 00:30:28,927
Mcg raw.
497
00:30:30,471 --> 00:30:31,889
Bob McGraw.
498
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,184
Rex, where you goin'?
499
00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:36,518
Hey, man!
500
00:30:37,603 --> 00:30:38,979
I'm Heather.
501
00:30:39,813 --> 00:30:41,607
Heather merriweather.
502
00:30:54,370 --> 00:30:56,538
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me.
503
00:30:57,289 --> 00:30:59,500
No, no, no. Not at all.
504
00:31:01,335 --> 00:31:04,421
You know, it's a little crowded in here,
don't you think?
505
00:31:04,671 --> 00:31:05,881
Smoky.
506
00:31:06,423 --> 00:31:07,591
Noisy.
507
00:31:08,175 --> 00:31:09,718
Crowded.
508
00:31:10,260 --> 00:31:12,638
What do you say we go for a walk?
509
00:31:12,721 --> 00:31:14,181
To my room.
510
00:31:14,264 --> 00:31:15,599
What do you say we run?
511
00:31:17,059 --> 00:31:19,186
What do you say
give me 10 minutes?
512
00:31:19,269 --> 00:31:21,146
I'm in room 27.
513
00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:23,273
Do you think
you can remember that?
514
00:31:23,816 --> 00:31:26,527
I'll carve it in the back of my hand.
515
00:31:37,746 --> 00:31:40,457
I guess this means no bedtime story.
516
00:31:40,999 --> 00:31:43,252
If I'm not back in two hours,
517
00:31:43,335 --> 00:31:44,837
borrow a book.
518
00:31:45,129 --> 00:31:46,338
Book?
519
00:32:11,822 --> 00:32:14,324
You beautiful bomb.
520
00:32:32,968 --> 00:32:34,303
It was a night.
521
00:32:34,386 --> 00:32:36,472
A real, wide open night
522
00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:39,516
filled with the stars
of a thousand dreams.
523
00:32:40,017 --> 00:32:43,479
It was the kind of night
that could only be found
524
00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:45,898
in a place called the west.
525
00:32:47,274 --> 00:32:49,735
Or maybe in a cheap spy novel.
526
00:32:50,277 --> 00:32:53,822
The kind with gorgeous,
smooth-skinned women
527
00:32:53,906 --> 00:32:57,576
with accents and .45 caliber lips.
528
00:33:08,504 --> 00:33:10,756
My, how time flies.
You dropped this!
529
00:33:20,307 --> 00:33:21,642
Are you all right?
530
00:33:24,186 --> 00:33:25,604
I'm gonna...
531
00:33:26,146 --> 00:33:27,731
I'm gonna get...
532
00:33:27,814 --> 00:33:29,441
I'm gonna get...
533
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,822
Who's "ooh"?
534
00:33:52,589 --> 00:33:54,258
Who is it?
535
00:33:58,428 --> 00:34:00,264
- Hi.
- Hi.
536
00:34:01,682 --> 00:34:03,809
Why don't you come on in
and shut the door?
537
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,648
Why don't you lock it?
538
00:34:14,903 --> 00:34:17,573
- Why don't you...
- I think I can take it from here.
539
00:34:25,205 --> 00:34:26,665
Well...
540
00:34:26,915 --> 00:34:28,750
Here we are.
541
00:34:29,793 --> 00:34:31,295
All by ourselves.
542
00:34:31,378 --> 00:34:32,462
With the door locked.
543
00:34:33,005 --> 00:34:35,424
And me lying on the bed
in a robe.
544
00:34:37,301 --> 00:34:40,554
I like a woman
who's not afraid to play hard to get.
545
00:34:41,555 --> 00:34:44,057
I like a man
who's not afraid to play hard.
546
00:34:48,312 --> 00:34:50,606
You know something,
Bob McGraw?
547
00:34:52,232 --> 00:34:53,984
You look a little warm.
548
00:34:54,401 --> 00:34:57,821
Why don't you slip into
something more comfortable?
549
00:34:58,405 --> 00:35:01,241
I didn't bring anything
"more comfortable."
550
00:35:02,826 --> 00:35:04,536
Well, how about me?
551
00:35:07,456 --> 00:35:09,291
You talked me into it.
552
00:35:18,467 --> 00:35:19,801
For crying out loud.
553
00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:23,013
This is a race, not a battlefield.
554
00:35:23,430 --> 00:35:26,808
With blatant disregard
for rules and regulations,
555
00:35:27,309 --> 00:35:29,811
frivolous misuse of
equipment and personnel...
556
00:35:29,895 --> 00:35:32,606
Where did you learn
to be a soldier, soldier?
557
00:35:32,689 --> 00:35:33,857
The institute, sir.
558
00:35:34,232 --> 00:35:35,442
Well, I hope, for your sake,
559
00:35:35,525 --> 00:35:37,235
the institute is a lenient one.
560
00:35:39,446 --> 00:35:41,740
Under the circumstances,
i have no choice
561
00:35:41,823 --> 00:35:44,576
but to impound your raft
and disqualify you.
562
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:55,212
Moosehead
563
00:36:00,342 --> 00:36:02,052
- tell me something.
- What?
564
00:36:03,345 --> 00:36:06,348
Was that as good for you
as it was for me?
565
00:36:06,431 --> 00:36:09,059
No. It was...
566
00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:13,438
Heather, it's Rex!
Are you in there?
567
00:36:13,522 --> 00:36:15,732
- Company. How nice.
- Heather!
568
00:36:15,816 --> 00:36:18,568
Rex, go away!
I have nothing to say to you.
569
00:36:18,652 --> 00:36:21,196
You can just stay right here
and just ignore him, okay?
570
00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:22,614
I hate to eat and run, but...
571
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,703
Bob, am I ever
gonna see you again?
572
00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,497
We are going to
see each other again.
573
00:36:30,956 --> 00:36:32,541
You wouldn't lie to me?
574
00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:34,960
Of course I'd lie to you,
I'm a guy.
575
00:36:35,043 --> 00:36:36,920
But I'm not lying now.
576
00:36:38,255 --> 00:36:39,423
You mean it?
577
00:36:39,506 --> 00:36:40,590
Honest.
578
00:36:45,095 --> 00:36:46,888
Hey, guys,
579
00:36:46,972 --> 00:36:49,057
it's a little early for the easter parade,
don't you think?
580
00:36:49,141 --> 00:36:50,934
Look! It's halley's comet!
581
00:36:52,394 --> 00:36:54,646
Bright, real bright. Bye!
582
00:37:15,292 --> 00:37:16,752
Hello, asshole.
583
00:37:17,252 --> 00:37:18,628
Oops.
584
00:37:18,712 --> 00:37:21,465
Things looked bad for McGraw.
He had to think fast.
585
00:37:25,635 --> 00:37:27,095
Get him!
586
00:37:27,429 --> 00:37:29,014
Oh, shit! Hold it!
587
00:37:29,097 --> 00:37:30,599
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
Guys, guys...
588
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:33,226
Now, I know you're wondering
why I called you all here tonight,
589
00:37:33,310 --> 00:37:35,854
because I want to talk
to you about herpes.
590
00:37:46,698 --> 00:37:48,825
That's the end of that chapter.
591
00:37:51,453 --> 00:37:53,246
I don't wanna die tomorrow!
592
00:37:53,330 --> 00:37:56,082
You know I hate water.
It ruins a good drink.
593
00:37:56,166 --> 00:37:58,376
Oh, I'm gonna
projectile vomit on everyone!
594
00:37:58,919 --> 00:38:00,378
Excuse me.
595
00:38:01,338 --> 00:38:02,923
What am I, a turnstile?
596
00:38:04,508 --> 00:38:06,009
Bay mist.
597
00:38:06,092 --> 00:38:10,222
No, it's either
misty crevice or savage truth.
598
00:38:10,305 --> 00:38:12,849
No, no, bay mist,
I'm tellin' you.
599
00:38:15,852 --> 00:38:17,229
Bob!
600
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:20,941
What happened?
Are you okay?
601
00:38:21,650 --> 00:38:23,109
Bob, it's us!
602
00:38:24,277 --> 00:38:27,572
Oh, boy!
Am I glad to see you guys.
603
00:38:27,656 --> 00:38:30,325
This is a terrible place
to spend the night alone.
604
00:38:30,408 --> 00:38:31,868
Who did it?
605
00:38:32,619 --> 00:38:34,412
They got you, too?
606
00:38:34,496 --> 00:38:35,956
Bob, how many were there?
607
00:38:36,039 --> 00:38:37,958
I didn't get all their names,
608
00:38:39,209 --> 00:38:42,462
but they all wore
the same Cologne.
609
00:38:46,633 --> 00:38:49,970
You know, this is gonna be
a piece of fucking cake.
610
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,308
Good afternoon and welcome
to this year's annual collegiate
611
00:38:55,392 --> 00:38:57,227
white water rafting race.
612
00:38:57,310 --> 00:39:00,856
It's a perfect day
for rapid competition.
613
00:39:00,939 --> 00:39:03,733
The temperature is
a comfortable 86 degrees,
614
00:39:03,817 --> 00:39:06,903
the water at
a refreshing 53 degrees.
615
00:39:08,655 --> 00:39:11,324
With the disqualification
of last year's winner,
616
00:39:11,408 --> 00:39:13,577
Washington military institute,
617
00:39:13,660 --> 00:39:15,787
we have 13 entries this year.
618
00:39:15,871 --> 00:39:19,457
Good luck to all
of our participants!
619
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:25,505
It's either lose or win
620
00:39:25,589 --> 00:39:28,592
you'll either break or bend
621
00:39:28,675 --> 00:39:31,344
pushing it one more inch
622
00:39:31,428 --> 00:39:34,764
you better be steady, boy
623
00:39:34,848 --> 00:39:37,893
it's waiting all for you
624
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:41,021
need to give all you've got
625
00:39:41,104 --> 00:39:43,565
it's time to take your shot
626
00:39:43,648 --> 00:39:46,902
you got nothing to lose
627
00:39:59,497 --> 00:40:01,416
I thought we got rid of him.
628
00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:04,336
Well, he's obviously a slow learner.
629
00:40:17,474 --> 00:40:18,850
Bob, what happened?
630
00:40:20,727 --> 00:40:22,270
Does it hurt?
631
00:40:22,854 --> 00:40:24,940
Not so much anymore,
now that you're here.
632
00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:26,316
Was it that creep?
633
00:40:26,399 --> 00:40:29,069
Let's just say I slipped
on a bar of soap in the shower
634
00:40:29,152 --> 00:40:30,528
as a bus ran out of control
635
00:40:30,612 --> 00:40:32,238
and crashed into
the medicine cabinet.
636
00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:35,825
I'm really sorry.
Ls there anything I can do?
637
00:40:35,909 --> 00:40:38,119
Actually,
i made a list, but, uh...
638
00:40:38,787 --> 00:40:41,373
This will have to suffice
until the race is over.
639
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,675
Ten minutes!
Ten minutes to starting time!
640
00:40:52,133 --> 00:40:54,260
Okay, come on, guys!
Where's your spirit?
641
00:40:54,511 --> 00:40:57,555
We oughta give these teams
some support!
642
00:40:59,391 --> 00:41:02,018
Come on, we can't send
'em down the river with nothing.
643
00:41:02,102 --> 00:41:03,436
What do you say?
644
00:41:06,481 --> 00:41:08,149
Yeah! What do you say?
645
00:41:24,165 --> 00:41:26,251
There they are.
646
00:41:27,502 --> 00:41:31,506
All getting ready for
the start of their little race.
647
00:41:32,424 --> 00:41:36,219
Does that civilian mashed potato
think he can disqualify us?
648
00:41:37,345 --> 00:41:39,097
They'll see.
649
00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:41,141
They'll see!
650
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:44,269
The race will continue for two days.
651
00:41:44,811 --> 00:41:47,522
Today you will race
to this point, beaver flats,
652
00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:50,108
where the first five teams
will pick up flags.
653
00:41:50,191 --> 00:41:52,944
And only the first five teams
to pick up flags
654
00:41:53,028 --> 00:41:54,696
will be in the second day.
655
00:41:54,779 --> 00:41:56,865
And those of you who pick up flags
656
00:41:56,948 --> 00:41:58,908
will then portage to chicken falls
657
00:41:58,992 --> 00:42:01,119
where you will spend the night
and turn in your flags.
658
00:42:01,202 --> 00:42:03,788
Then tomorrow morning at 10:00,
659
00:42:03,872 --> 00:42:06,207
you will continue the race downriver.
660
00:42:06,499 --> 00:42:10,295
Now, you all come here to represent
your colleges and your universities.
661
00:42:10,378 --> 00:42:13,173
You have come here
to participate in an annual event
662
00:42:13,256 --> 00:42:17,969
that shows good, healthy
American competition is still alive.
663
00:42:20,513 --> 00:42:21,806
Before we start the race,
664
00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:23,933
I'd like to thank you for participating,
665
00:42:24,017 --> 00:42:26,853
wish you good luck, godspeed,
666
00:42:26,936 --> 00:42:28,563
and may the best team win.
667
00:42:33,735 --> 00:42:35,236
There he is.
668
00:42:35,695 --> 00:42:37,947
There he is.
669
00:42:38,448 --> 00:42:42,285
I'm gonna get that son of a bitch
if it's the last thing I ever do!
670
00:42:45,872 --> 00:42:48,958
All right.
Rafters, man your paddles!
671
00:42:52,295 --> 00:42:53,588
Ready.
672
00:42:57,008 --> 00:42:58,176
Set.
673
00:43:08,645 --> 00:43:10,980
There's the gun, and they're off!
674
00:43:11,064 --> 00:43:14,275
We've got 13 rafts
racing for their school's honor.
675
00:43:14,442 --> 00:43:17,195
The rivalry between
Arkansas Christian state
676
00:43:17,278 --> 00:43:21,407
and St. Martin's Bible college
heats up once again!
677
00:43:27,330 --> 00:43:29,874
And they're hitting the water, folks!
678
00:43:30,875 --> 00:43:33,795
Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam!
679
00:43:36,422 --> 00:43:38,550
The ladies of Iowa a&m...
680
00:43:40,552 --> 00:43:42,720
Uh-oh, what's this?
Oh, that's too bad,
681
00:43:42,804 --> 00:43:45,598
looks like one more
faulty equipment.
682
00:43:46,099 --> 00:43:49,811
We are now down
to nine rafts, just nine!
683
00:43:49,894 --> 00:43:51,437
No, Bob!
684
00:43:53,648 --> 00:43:55,316
Look, guys, please!
I don't wanna die!
685
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,653
I'm so young,
I've got my looks, I've got my health.
686
00:43:58,736 --> 00:44:00,989
- L've got my whole life ahead of me!
- To the water!
687
00:44:01,072 --> 00:44:02,866
I've got too much to live for!
688
00:44:04,117 --> 00:44:05,493
Like what?
689
00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:07,412
Like what? Like what?
690
00:44:07,495 --> 00:44:08,788
Women.
691
00:44:08,872 --> 00:44:11,749
There might be a woman out there
who might want to have sex with me.
692
00:44:17,255 --> 00:44:21,050
And that's Ivy u!
Yes, Ivy u, this year's favorite.
693
00:44:21,801 --> 00:44:24,137
Three, two, one!
694
00:44:29,976 --> 00:44:31,936
Please don't make me do this.
695
00:44:32,020 --> 00:44:34,981
Don't make me go, all right?
I'm gonna die!
696
00:44:35,064 --> 00:44:38,151
I don't wanna die!
I wanna live!
697
00:44:42,989 --> 00:44:45,325
Thanks. I needed that.
698
00:44:46,409 --> 00:44:47,535
Shall we go?
699
00:44:54,834 --> 00:44:55,877
Get him out of there!
700
00:44:57,295 --> 00:44:58,588
Get in here, shamu!
701
00:45:43,716 --> 00:45:45,343
Hey, that's good.
702
00:45:46,302 --> 00:45:47,637
All right.
703
00:45:48,513 --> 00:45:50,181
Give me a hard left.
704
00:45:55,728 --> 00:45:58,356
Their situation seemed utterly hopeless.
705
00:45:58,439 --> 00:46:00,275
And with damn good reason.
706
00:46:14,831 --> 00:46:16,332
Yeah! All right!
707
00:46:24,507 --> 00:46:26,301
Pull! Pull!
708
00:46:29,220 --> 00:46:30,471
Come on!
709
00:47:06,424 --> 00:47:07,884
This is it, guys.
710
00:47:08,885 --> 00:47:11,554
We can do it, guys,
i know we can. I can feel it.
711
00:47:11,637 --> 00:47:13,723
It's just water and rock, that's all!
712
00:47:14,390 --> 00:47:16,267
We'll show this river who's boss!
713
00:47:16,351 --> 00:47:17,977
This river will be ours!
714
00:47:23,066 --> 00:47:24,650
This is not a good sign.
715
00:47:24,734 --> 00:47:26,194
No.
716
00:47:28,446 --> 00:47:31,199
Sorry, guys,
i guess I got a little carried away.
717
00:47:41,084 --> 00:47:42,585
Stop! Stop!
718
00:47:44,128 --> 00:47:46,422
Oh, my god!
719
00:48:19,914 --> 00:48:22,417
- That was great!
- We did it!
720
00:48:24,919 --> 00:48:26,796
I don't believe it!
721
00:48:27,380 --> 00:48:30,425
Son of a bitch, we did it.
And we're still alive!
722
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,010
Un-fucking-believable!
723
00:48:33,094 --> 00:48:35,721
Wasn't bad for
a bunch of losers!
724
00:48:36,097 --> 00:48:39,934
Well, you have just made it through
the world's most dangerous rapid!
725
00:48:40,184 --> 00:48:42,562
And now, it's beer time!
726
00:48:44,313 --> 00:48:47,024
I risked my life,
and you give me light beer?
727
00:48:47,859 --> 00:48:50,695
Lepetomane!
Lepetomane!
728
00:48:50,778 --> 00:48:52,196
Lepetomane!
729
00:48:56,909 --> 00:48:58,369
Das raft!
730
00:48:58,703 --> 00:49:00,788
We toast you!
731
00:49:02,290 --> 00:49:04,500
Hey, where've you
Nazis been, huh?
732
00:49:04,584 --> 00:49:05,960
Didn't you see us
go through those rapids?
733
00:49:06,043 --> 00:49:07,795
You think we're
kidding around here?
734
00:49:11,466 --> 00:49:12,592
Hi, boys!
735
00:49:12,675 --> 00:49:14,927
Shoot him, Rex.
736
00:49:15,553 --> 00:49:17,805
I don't like those guys.
737
00:49:19,348 --> 00:49:21,434
I warned you, you bozo!
738
00:49:27,815 --> 00:49:28,941
What the hell is that?
739
00:49:29,025 --> 00:49:31,277
Oh, they hit us with a little dart.
740
00:49:32,487 --> 00:49:34,280
Good shot, Rex, good shot.
741
00:49:34,780 --> 00:49:37,366
Bob, it's ticking.
742
00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:50,296
Five, four, three, two, one!
743
00:49:55,593 --> 00:49:57,094
Take that, suckers!
744
00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:01,641
Were those the guys
that got you last night?
745
00:50:01,724 --> 00:50:02,934
How could ya tell?
746
00:50:03,017 --> 00:50:04,894
They're all wearing
the same Cologne.
747
00:50:06,812 --> 00:50:07,939
Come on, guys,
748
00:50:08,022 --> 00:50:09,774
let's get the hell
out of dodge!
749
00:50:16,197 --> 00:50:18,991
All right, now get that rock
in the sling...
750
00:50:19,075 --> 00:50:20,576
I'm goin' up!
751
00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:29,001
- Push, man!
-L'm pushing!
752
00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:44,392
How we doin', guys?
753
00:50:44,475 --> 00:50:45,518
Ready, Bob.
754
00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:47,228
- Okay, let's go.
- Darn, it's empty.
755
00:50:48,271 --> 00:50:50,690
Bob, it's empty.
756
00:50:50,773 --> 00:50:53,109
I gotta have a drink.
I don't think I can make it.
757
00:50:53,192 --> 00:50:54,318
You can do it, kid,
i know you can.
758
00:50:54,402 --> 00:50:55,903
No,no,no.
I don't think I can.
759
00:50:56,988 --> 00:50:58,739
You're not trying.
760
00:50:59,824 --> 00:51:01,325
Lemme give it another shot.
761
00:51:02,243 --> 00:51:03,452
I knew you could do it.
762
00:51:05,329 --> 00:51:06,539
Irwin.
763
00:51:18,801 --> 00:51:20,886
All right. Left turn!
764
00:51:22,138 --> 00:51:23,222
Forward easy!
765
00:51:35,109 --> 00:51:36,652
- Push, man!
-L'm pushing!
766
00:51:38,446 --> 00:51:39,572
Now!
767
00:51:40,698 --> 00:51:41,824
- Now?
- Now?
768
00:51:50,499 --> 00:51:52,793
Unidentified flying asshole.
769
00:51:56,964 --> 00:51:58,883
- Party time!
- Two! Two!
770
00:52:39,507 --> 00:52:41,550
Let's move!
771
00:52:41,676 --> 00:52:47,390
Beaver flats
port age
772
00:52:52,103 --> 00:52:53,312
where's Ivy u?
773
00:52:53,396 --> 00:52:55,147
Who cares, as long as
they're not ahead of us!
774
00:52:55,231 --> 00:52:56,649
Let's go!
775
00:52:59,485 --> 00:53:00,778
Grab a flag!
776
00:53:03,030 --> 00:53:04,156
Got a flag!
777
00:53:06,826 --> 00:53:08,035
- Brown.
- Sir!
778
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:09,495
- Johnson.
- Sir!
779
00:53:09,578 --> 00:53:11,330
Good job, men, good job!
780
00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:16,168
Whitney.
781
00:53:17,086 --> 00:53:18,337
Soon...
782
00:53:21,799 --> 00:53:23,092
Soon.
783
00:53:41,610 --> 00:53:42,903
Look at that!
784
00:53:42,987 --> 00:53:45,114
Now, that can stop us.
785
00:53:45,489 --> 00:53:47,074
Duck! Duck!
786
00:54:01,589 --> 00:54:03,966
Say your prayers, gentlemen.
787
00:54:08,345 --> 00:54:10,473
Come on, come on!
They're gonna get past!
788
00:54:10,556 --> 00:54:11,849
Now!
789
00:54:15,186 --> 00:54:16,645
It's goin' the wrong way!
790
00:54:22,526 --> 00:54:24,570
- Go! Go!
- Move it! Move it!
791
00:54:45,591 --> 00:54:48,803
Tonight, we are gonna be
in bimbette's heaven!
792
00:54:50,387 --> 00:54:51,972
Good work!
793
00:54:52,681 --> 00:54:54,225
All right, now, rocky,
794
00:54:54,308 --> 00:54:56,268
get one flag
and lose the other!
795
00:54:56,352 --> 00:54:57,686
Gotcha.
796
00:54:58,562 --> 00:55:00,105
Let's go, man.
797
00:55:00,314 --> 00:55:02,942
- One, two...
- Yeah!
798
00:55:05,986 --> 00:55:07,321
Keep it up, guys-
799
00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:08,948
keep it goin'.
800
00:55:09,323 --> 00:55:11,075
I know it's tough.
801
00:55:11,158 --> 00:55:12,743
And I know that
you know it's tough.
802
00:55:13,369 --> 00:55:14,995
But try not to think about it.
803
00:55:15,454 --> 00:55:17,331
Think about those degrees
we're gonna get
804
00:55:17,414 --> 00:55:19,333
when we win this race!
805
00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:21,377
Maybe that'll help you
forget the pain.
806
00:55:25,297 --> 00:55:27,716
More likely it won't,
but give it a shot.
807
00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:32,304
Your bag of goodies
was a real bargain, doctor.
808
00:55:32,388 --> 00:55:33,472
You bet your bottom dollar.
809
00:55:33,556 --> 00:55:34,682
There's only four boats left.
810
00:55:34,765 --> 00:55:37,768
I think we earned
that little soiree of yours tonight.
811
00:55:37,935 --> 00:55:39,687
St. Martin's, Sara teasdale,
Texas state, and us.
812
00:55:40,062 --> 00:55:41,355
And lepetomane.
813
00:55:41,438 --> 00:55:42,898
- Lepetomane?
- What?
814
00:55:42,982 --> 00:55:45,359
We took care of those remedials
after the first rapids!
815
00:55:45,442 --> 00:55:47,570
Well, whoever "we" is
didn't do a very thorough job,
816
00:55:47,653 --> 00:55:48,863
'cause they're still on the river.
817
00:55:48,946 --> 00:55:50,072
- What?
- I don't believe it.
818
00:55:50,155 --> 00:55:51,991
I thought we nailed those twinkies!
819
00:56:00,416 --> 00:56:03,168
Control tower to Ivy,
you're cleared for takeoff.
820
00:56:05,629 --> 00:56:07,089
I love it.
821
00:56:12,303 --> 00:56:13,929
I don't like the sound of this.
822
00:56:15,180 --> 00:56:18,058
It's too quiet.
823
00:56:19,894 --> 00:56:21,729
What could it be?
824
00:56:23,147 --> 00:56:24,273
Indians!
825
00:56:28,777 --> 00:56:30,321
What the hell is that?
826
00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:32,406
Sounds like big mosquitoes.
827
00:56:41,832 --> 00:56:43,250
It's comin' at us!
828
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:44,877
Get down!
829
00:56:49,298 --> 00:56:51,008
It's comin' back!
830
00:56:52,676 --> 00:56:54,219
Bob, get down!
831
00:56:55,679 --> 00:56:56,889
This is dangerous!
832
00:56:59,266 --> 00:57:00,976
How'd you like that, guys?
833
00:57:08,901 --> 00:57:10,986
This has gone far enough!
834
00:57:11,403 --> 00:57:14,823
He's right!
It's gone far enough!
835
00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,166
Gonz! Get down!
836
00:57:31,590 --> 00:57:33,384
Abandon ship!
837
00:57:34,009 --> 00:57:35,844
- Get out! Get out!
- Not again!
838
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,222
Kamikaze!
839
00:57:45,771 --> 00:57:48,190
Let's see you get out of that one,
you dipshit!
840
00:57:48,273 --> 00:57:49,358
Let's get out of here.
841
00:57:49,441 --> 00:57:50,693
Max!
842
00:57:52,277 --> 00:57:53,612
Hey, Max!
843
00:58:00,285 --> 00:58:01,954
I want the blond!
844
00:58:02,037 --> 00:58:03,664
- You putz!
- Are those real breasts?
845
00:58:08,002 --> 00:58:09,670
I want leverage!
846
00:58:09,795 --> 00:58:14,258
Him, his doggie,
one of his men, anyone!
847
00:58:14,842 --> 00:58:16,844
Reconnoiter 0600 sharp!
848
00:58:19,346 --> 00:58:21,598
Come back with a prisoner,
849
00:58:22,808 --> 00:58:24,601
or don't come back!
850
00:58:24,810 --> 00:58:25,978
Yes, sir!
851
00:58:27,396 --> 00:58:28,856
Hey, it's Chuck!
852
00:58:28,939 --> 00:58:31,233
Wow, he's got the last flag!
853
00:58:35,779 --> 00:58:37,406
What is this?
An attitude?
854
00:58:39,033 --> 00:58:40,534
I'm sorry if we were a little bit late,
855
00:58:40,617 --> 00:58:42,536
we had a few problems.
856
00:58:42,745 --> 00:58:45,164
We weren't out on the town
like someone I could mention.
857
00:58:45,247 --> 00:58:47,875
- Chuck, he was mugged last night!
- Let him be!
858
00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:49,668
If he wants to be
a complete jerk, let him.
859
00:58:49,835 --> 00:58:51,628
I don't think we need to
explain to him that somebody
860
00:58:51,712 --> 00:58:55,174
tried to destroy our raft,
knock us out of the race.
861
00:58:55,257 --> 00:58:57,176
No, if he's gonna get
his nose bent out of shape
862
00:58:57,259 --> 00:58:59,011
over a little lost time,
863
00:58:59,094 --> 00:59:01,513
I'd rather not talk to him, either.
You're a dog.
864
00:59:02,514 --> 00:59:03,599
Grab the raft.
865
00:59:08,187 --> 00:59:10,397
I suppose it doesn't make any difference
that they beat up Bob?
866
00:59:11,690 --> 00:59:14,985
That's right. Pipes, bottles,
chains, hitting, pain...
867
00:59:15,069 --> 00:59:17,196
There were 10 of 'em.
Ten big ones.
868
00:59:17,571 --> 00:59:18,947
Maybe eleven.
869
00:59:19,031 --> 00:59:21,825
Oh, and you should've heard
the names they called him.
870
00:59:24,661 --> 00:59:26,288
Sensitive dog.
871
00:59:27,790 --> 00:59:32,086
Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you.
872
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:34,338
I know you were playing hard to get.
873
00:59:35,255 --> 00:59:37,174
Chuck, what is it?
874
00:59:37,257 --> 00:59:38,383
I smell it, too.
875
00:59:38,467 --> 00:59:40,135
It smells like...
876
00:59:40,260 --> 00:59:41,553
Cologne.
877
00:59:45,182 --> 00:59:48,894
Suddenly he knew what
the night held in store for them.
878
00:59:49,978 --> 00:59:52,106
And he liked the smell of it.
879
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:57,861
Are you okay?
880
00:59:59,446 --> 01:00:01,240
You know something?
881
01:00:01,615 --> 01:00:05,035
I really thought that McGraw
had a chance.
882
01:00:05,744 --> 01:00:06,829
I mean, however slim,
883
01:00:06,912 --> 01:00:08,831
I really thought
that he might make it.
884
01:00:09,665 --> 01:00:11,375
L would have liked
to have seen him again.
885
01:00:11,458 --> 01:00:13,168
"Seen," young lady?
886
01:00:13,252 --> 01:00:14,586
For starters.
887
01:00:14,670 --> 01:00:16,797
You mean to tell me
you're not coming?
888
01:00:17,548 --> 01:00:18,590
No.
889
01:00:18,674 --> 01:00:20,425
Okey-dokey, honey.
See ya later.
890
01:00:21,176 --> 01:00:23,137
- Happy trails.
- Bye-bye, hon.
891
01:00:38,610 --> 01:00:40,445
Revenge is a dish
best eaten cold
892
01:00:40,529 --> 01:00:42,364
and with your hands.
893
01:00:51,415 --> 01:00:53,876
It's a little early
for Christmas, isn't it?
894
01:01:23,030 --> 01:01:24,323
Tomorrow should be a breeze.
895
01:01:24,406 --> 01:01:26,325
By the time you cross that finish line,
896
01:01:26,408 --> 01:01:29,661
I'm betting that yours
is the only raft on the river.
897
01:01:52,059 --> 01:01:54,019
Let's have some more champagne!
898
01:02:06,156 --> 01:02:07,449
Waiter!
899
01:02:23,674 --> 01:02:25,384
Wait a minute, I know that dog!
900
01:02:26,885 --> 01:02:28,553
I know that dog!
901
01:02:29,179 --> 01:02:30,889
Hey, what's going on?
902
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:32,683
Wait a minute!
903
01:02:47,322 --> 01:02:48,699
Well, well, what is this?
904
01:02:48,782 --> 01:02:50,701
A meeting of the assholes of America?
905
01:02:50,867 --> 01:02:52,160
Look who's here.
906
01:02:52,244 --> 01:02:53,495
We missed you guys!
907
01:02:53,578 --> 01:02:55,163
We didn't miss you, you jerk.
908
01:02:55,247 --> 01:02:57,374
Hurry up, put that on!
I haven't got all night!
909
01:02:57,457 --> 01:02:58,709
You asshole!
910
01:02:58,792 --> 01:03:00,419
Oh, excuse me.
911
01:03:19,104 --> 01:03:21,231
You wouldn't hit a lady,
would you?
912
01:03:29,197 --> 01:03:30,240
Mocha.
913
01:03:37,539 --> 01:03:40,083
No,no,no,no!
No. No.
914
01:03:42,127 --> 01:03:43,420
Get out, come on.
915
01:03:45,505 --> 01:03:47,215
Now I got you, you bastard.
916
01:03:49,259 --> 01:03:51,636
It's so much better this way.
917
01:03:54,639 --> 01:03:56,016
So much for the piano.
918
01:03:59,394 --> 01:04:01,063
Bob. The tub.
919
01:04:03,482 --> 01:04:04,608
Bye.
920
01:04:05,067 --> 01:04:06,610
Table for one.
921
01:04:21,333 --> 01:04:22,876
You incompetent twits!
922
01:04:24,836 --> 01:04:26,755
Let's get outta here!
923
01:04:44,815 --> 01:04:46,691
There you are.
924
01:04:47,067 --> 01:04:50,737
Bob! Where have you been?
What's going on around here?
925
01:04:50,821 --> 01:04:53,031
It's such a long story.
926
01:04:54,199 --> 01:04:56,910
Gosh, is there someplace
that we can talk?
927
01:05:00,038 --> 01:05:03,917
Well, is there someplace
that we can pet heavily?
928
01:05:14,511 --> 01:05:15,846
Terrific!
929
01:05:16,304 --> 01:05:17,389
Look at that!
930
01:05:19,516 --> 01:05:21,601
Wait! What...
931
01:05:31,570 --> 01:05:33,155
Now, tell me,
932
01:05:34,322 --> 01:05:38,243
was it as good for you
as it was for me that time?
933
01:05:39,995 --> 01:05:41,455
Not exactly.
934
01:05:42,164 --> 01:05:44,583
Bob! Irwin's gone,
we can't find him anywhere.
935
01:05:44,666 --> 01:05:46,543
I think something happened to him.
936
01:05:47,043 --> 01:05:48,628
Did I interrupt anything?
937
01:05:50,964 --> 01:05:52,257
Not exactly.
938
01:05:52,340 --> 01:05:54,134
Look, I'll meet you at the raft.
939
01:05:54,217 --> 01:05:55,719
Oh, Max, this is Heather.
Heather, this Max.
940
01:05:55,802 --> 01:05:56,887
- Hi.
- Hi.
941
01:05:58,305 --> 01:05:59,598
Pleasure to meet you.
942
01:06:00,474 --> 01:06:01,516
Do you need any help?
943
01:06:02,100 --> 01:06:04,686
No, thanks. I've been
dressing myself for years.
944
01:06:04,769 --> 01:06:06,938
But I appreciate the offer.
945
01:06:11,151 --> 01:06:12,486
When this is over
946
01:06:12,569 --> 01:06:14,738
and somebody's won this damn thing,
947
01:06:14,821 --> 01:06:16,907
I'd like to think I could
jump on you again sometime.
948
01:06:28,335 --> 01:06:30,629
Disqualify me, will they?
949
01:06:30,962 --> 01:06:35,008
Well, now I've got them
right where I want them!
950
01:06:35,759 --> 01:06:38,678
You thought the disguise would fool me?
951
01:06:40,514 --> 01:06:42,974
They can't beat me. No!
952
01:06:43,558 --> 01:06:46,269
Because I'm the cream
of the military crop,
953
01:06:46,353 --> 01:06:48,730
and I have a hostage.
954
01:06:49,523 --> 01:06:52,859
A living, human hostage!
955
01:06:53,735 --> 01:06:55,487
I can't find irwin anywhere.
956
01:06:55,737 --> 01:06:56,988
Poor little guy.
957
01:06:57,072 --> 01:06:58,823
Hey, gonz, don't you worry.
958
01:06:58,907 --> 01:07:01,201
We're gonna find ln/vin
if it takes a hundred years.
959
01:07:01,284 --> 01:07:03,370
Hey, Bob.
He'll be dead by then.
960
01:07:04,204 --> 01:07:05,622
Good point.
961
01:07:06,665 --> 01:07:07,791
Wait a minute.
962
01:07:07,874 --> 01:07:10,043
Wait a minute!
What about Chuck?
963
01:07:13,380 --> 01:07:14,422
Come on, Chuck.
964
01:07:14,506 --> 01:07:16,925
I know you're tired,
but we need your help.
965
01:07:17,008 --> 01:07:19,678
We've got to find irwin
before it's too late!
966
01:07:19,761 --> 01:07:21,680
We'll take the water,
you take the land. Whaddya say?
967
01:07:21,763 --> 01:07:22,847
Come on, Chuck,
you remember irwin.
968
01:07:22,931 --> 01:07:25,058
He's got glasses,
he's skinny, he drinks a lot.
969
01:07:27,435 --> 01:07:29,771
Here, Chuck, here. Try this.
970
01:07:30,730 --> 01:07:32,607
You remember him now,
don't you, Chuck?
971
01:07:34,568 --> 01:07:36,611
All right. All right, Chuck,
972
01:07:36,695 --> 01:07:38,947
there's a new collar
in it for you, huh?
973
01:07:39,030 --> 01:07:41,157
Does that jar your memory?
974
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:43,577
Okay, okay.
975
01:07:44,119 --> 01:07:46,913
No more plain-wrap dog food.
Does that ring any bells for you?
976
01:07:48,832 --> 01:07:52,252
I'll put you up for stud.
But that's it, take it or leave it.
977
01:07:59,843 --> 01:08:01,011
Boy, what's the world coming to
978
01:08:01,094 --> 01:08:03,221
when you have to
bribe your own dog?
979
01:08:03,305 --> 01:08:04,639
The dog's a whore, Bob.
980
01:08:04,723 --> 01:08:06,141
I trained him well.
981
01:08:08,810 --> 01:08:11,438
Nobody does that to Ivy!
982
01:08:11,521 --> 01:08:15,150
Guys, we got a race to win here,
act like adults.
983
01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:17,527
I'm gonna get that weenie!
984
01:08:17,652 --> 01:08:19,529
We're gonna get that weenie!
985
01:08:19,613 --> 01:08:21,239
We're gonna win this race!
986
01:08:21,364 --> 01:08:24,034
Geez, Rex, too much caffeine
making you tense?
987
01:08:24,868 --> 01:08:27,621
After last night,
you wanna go again, huh?
988
01:08:27,704 --> 01:08:29,664
- That's right.
- You must've liked it, huh?
989
01:08:29,748 --> 01:08:30,874
I'm ready and willing.
990
01:08:30,957 --> 01:08:33,335
- L'm always able.
- All right! Nice!
991
01:08:33,418 --> 01:08:35,337
Left turn, men,
we've got company!
992
01:08:35,420 --> 01:08:36,546
What?
993
01:08:40,592 --> 01:08:42,052
Check it out.
994
01:08:42,761 --> 01:08:44,512
- Hey.
- The bleach boys.
995
01:08:44,596 --> 01:08:46,848
Good afternoon, ladies!
996
01:08:47,140 --> 01:08:49,184
All right, guys, listen.
997
01:08:49,309 --> 01:08:50,769
We're gonna beat 'em,
and we're gonna win,
998
01:08:50,852 --> 01:08:52,812
and let's go into a hard forward.
999
01:08:54,230 --> 01:08:56,441
The instrument, maestro,
if you will.
1000
01:08:56,650 --> 01:08:58,610
See ya, ladies!
1001
01:08:59,861 --> 01:09:01,613
They'll like this, won't they?
1002
01:09:01,696 --> 01:09:03,782
- What's that?
- What the hell is that?
1003
01:09:03,865 --> 01:09:05,283
All right,
sweetheart.
1004
01:09:08,828 --> 01:09:10,497
- It's a torpedo.
- Oh, shit!
1005
01:09:18,213 --> 01:09:19,881
Good shot, Rex, good shot!
1006
01:09:20,632 --> 01:09:22,217
You jerks!
1007
01:09:27,263 --> 01:09:28,306
Adios, ladies!
1008
01:09:30,975 --> 01:09:34,229
We got those morons.
So let's go get lepetomane!
1009
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:37,399
Well done, soldiers, well done!
1010
01:09:41,236 --> 01:09:43,196
From here, we take the island.
1011
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:45,031
We beach the craft in the south,
1012
01:09:45,115 --> 01:09:47,158
then move to a high point above.
1013
01:09:47,242 --> 01:09:51,538
Then, we hang the bait, and wait!
1014
01:09:52,247 --> 01:09:53,873
Now move out!
1015
01:09:56,626 --> 01:09:59,045
Stroke! Stroke!
1016
01:09:59,921 --> 01:10:01,172
Stroke!
1017
01:10:01,589 --> 01:10:03,007
Stroke!
1018
01:10:06,386 --> 01:10:07,762
Johnson,
1019
01:10:08,096 --> 01:10:09,723
ready the jet.
1020
01:10:10,306 --> 01:10:11,725
Yes, sir.
1021
01:10:12,934 --> 01:10:16,479
Brown, ready the wireless control system.
1022
01:10:16,771 --> 01:10:17,814
Yes, sir.
1023
01:10:21,818 --> 01:10:23,903
It's those g.L. Joe guys!
1024
01:10:25,655 --> 01:10:26,865
- Where?
- There.
1025
01:10:31,870 --> 01:10:33,413
Get back in your pouch!
1026
01:10:33,955 --> 01:10:36,624
They got lrwin!
In a wet bag!
1027
01:10:38,543 --> 01:10:39,878
Come on!
1028
01:10:40,962 --> 01:10:42,756
It's toboggan time!
1029
01:10:42,922 --> 01:10:46,009
Wait a minute, Bob!
Are you sure that's a good idea?
1030
01:10:46,092 --> 01:10:48,052
Nah, but at this point
it's beside the point.
1031
01:10:48,136 --> 01:10:49,721
Oh, boy.
1032
01:10:50,138 --> 01:10:52,432
Forward easy.
1033
01:10:55,643 --> 01:10:56,978
Bob!No!
1034
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:00,732
- Too fast! Too fast!
- Shit!
1035
01:11:00,815 --> 01:11:04,986
No!
1036
01:11:08,531 --> 01:11:10,825
We're gonna get wet again!
1037
01:11:18,208 --> 01:11:19,793
Nice shot, Bob.
1038
01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:21,503
Come on!
Irwin's gettin' away!
1039
01:11:24,255 --> 01:11:26,800
All right, so I miscalculated.
What are you gonna do, fire me?
1040
01:11:27,008 --> 01:11:28,760
I'll think about it.
1041
01:11:29,886 --> 01:11:31,346
Stroke!
1042
01:11:31,471 --> 01:11:32,722
Stroke!
1043
01:11:33,056 --> 01:11:34,098
Stroke!
1044
01:11:34,516 --> 01:11:35,683
- Stroke!
- Sir!
1045
01:11:37,101 --> 01:11:38,895
The island's just up ahead, sir!
1046
01:11:39,479 --> 01:11:41,481
Good. Good.
1047
01:11:41,564 --> 01:11:43,817
I'm ready with the jet, sir.
1048
01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:46,986
Ready with the wireless
control system, sir.
1049
01:11:49,823 --> 01:11:50,990
Now!
1050
01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:08,216
Victory! We are men!
1051
01:12:44,878 --> 01:12:46,546
All right, meatheads!
1052
01:12:46,629 --> 01:12:48,965
What are you sittin' around for?
This is no picnic!
1053
01:12:49,048 --> 01:12:50,592
Captain, we can't win.
1054
01:12:50,675 --> 01:12:52,510
We were disqualified yesterday.
1055
01:12:52,802 --> 01:12:55,305
Disqualified?
We're not disqualified!
1056
01:12:55,388 --> 01:12:58,308
Not till I say we're disqualified!
1057
01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:01,519
It takes a river to win this war.
1058
01:13:02,937 --> 01:13:05,356
And there can't be a winner,
1059
01:13:05,440 --> 01:13:07,692
if there isn't a river!
1060
01:13:08,109 --> 01:13:09,235
Sir?
1061
01:13:10,194 --> 01:13:13,865
We're gonna blow the mother up!
1062
01:13:26,544 --> 01:13:28,171
All right!
1063
01:13:28,254 --> 01:13:29,547
Women!
1064
01:13:34,135 --> 01:13:35,553
What is she doing out there?
1065
01:13:36,095 --> 01:13:37,680
Getting tanned.
1066
01:13:38,389 --> 01:13:39,891
Forward easy.
1067
01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:46,230
- Are you all right?
-L'm fine.
1068
01:13:47,690 --> 01:13:49,442
Let me guess what happened.
1069
01:13:50,318 --> 01:13:51,611
That good old Ivy u.
1070
01:13:51,694 --> 01:13:54,864
You didn't have to tell me,
i woulda caught it.
1071
01:13:58,952 --> 01:14:01,162
Those guys almost killed us.
1072
01:14:01,496 --> 01:14:04,165
He's beginning to get a little nervy.
1073
01:14:04,248 --> 01:14:07,335
The thought of them winning this race
really makes me sick.
1074
01:14:08,586 --> 01:14:10,338
It isn't over yet.
1075
01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:12,048
Well, what are we waiting for?
1076
01:14:13,591 --> 01:14:15,760
Just a few indecent thoughts.
1077
01:14:19,722 --> 01:14:21,641
Okay, I'm ready now.
1078
01:14:21,724 --> 01:14:24,769
First, we get irwin.
Then we get the trophy!
1079
01:14:24,852 --> 01:14:27,563
Hey, you guys!
I'll see you later, okay?
1080
01:14:27,647 --> 01:14:29,816
Revenge! Revenge!
Get 'em!
1081
01:14:31,943 --> 01:14:33,069
Forward easy!
1082
01:14:36,072 --> 01:14:39,575
Soon the river will go ka-boom!
1083
01:14:42,161 --> 01:14:45,164
A commander couldn't ask
for better soldiers.
1084
01:14:57,468 --> 01:14:58,720
Well,
1085
01:14:59,345 --> 01:15:00,930
while we're waiting for your captain
1086
01:15:01,014 --> 01:15:02,890
to come to your rescue,
1087
01:15:02,974 --> 01:15:05,059
maybe I should
warm up on you a little.
1088
01:15:05,143 --> 01:15:06,811
No? All right.
1089
01:15:08,563 --> 01:15:11,566
How about the old bamboo
under the fingernails?
1090
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:15,069
It's a personal favorite of mine,
1091
01:15:15,153 --> 01:15:17,405
and a nice way to loosen up, too,
1092
01:15:17,488 --> 01:15:19,449
you little schmo!
1093
01:15:24,495 --> 01:15:25,580
No!
1094
01:15:44,766 --> 01:15:48,019
Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you!
Where the hell you been?
1095
01:15:48,186 --> 01:15:50,521
Chuck, we're in
some kind of trouble, okay?
1096
01:15:50,605 --> 01:15:52,190
The guys are heading
right in for a trap,
1097
01:15:52,273 --> 01:15:53,357
we gotta warn 'em, all right?
1098
01:15:53,441 --> 01:15:55,151
So get me outta here.
Come on. Get me out.
1099
01:15:55,777 --> 01:15:57,612
What are you doing?
No, Chuck!
1100
01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:01,282
No, don't do...
Where are you going with those?
1101
01:16:01,365 --> 01:16:02,950
Don't leave me!
1102
01:16:03,284 --> 01:16:05,119
Chuck... what's that?
1103
01:16:05,369 --> 01:16:07,538
What are you doing?
Don't put that on there!
1104
01:16:08,831 --> 01:16:10,374
Chuck! Where you going?
1105
01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:13,586
No! No, Chuck, no!
1106
01:16:13,961 --> 01:16:16,255
Chuck, no! Chuck...
I can't... not like...
1107
01:16:16,339 --> 01:16:18,091
This is not good, Chuck!
1108
01:16:18,174 --> 01:16:20,301
Oh, god, I'm so depressed!
1109
01:16:39,403 --> 01:16:40,696
Irwin...
1110
01:16:42,198 --> 01:16:43,658
Irwin...
1111
01:16:45,368 --> 01:16:46,828
Irwin...
1112
01:16:47,745 --> 01:16:49,080
Irwin.
1113
01:16:49,413 --> 01:16:50,790
Irwin!
1114
01:16:51,415 --> 01:16:52,792
Irwin!
1115
01:16:53,126 --> 01:16:56,462
Irwin! Irwin!
1116
01:16:56,546 --> 01:16:57,755
Irwin!
1117
01:16:58,005 --> 01:17:01,259
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1118
01:17:01,342 --> 01:17:02,927
What the hell?
1119
01:17:03,261 --> 01:17:04,929
Let's wait here.
1120
01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:06,973
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1121
01:17:07,056 --> 01:17:09,433
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1122
01:17:13,271 --> 01:17:14,939
Hey, it's Chuck!
1123
01:17:15,022 --> 01:17:16,524
Hey! Chucker!
1124
01:17:21,988 --> 01:17:23,906
Bob, it looks like
he's been drinkin' again.
1125
01:17:23,990 --> 01:17:25,408
No, not drinking.
1126
01:17:25,491 --> 01:17:28,035
Look! In his mouth!
It's irwin's underwear.
1127
01:17:28,119 --> 01:17:29,662
No wonder he's acting like that.
1128
01:17:32,373 --> 01:17:34,125
That can only mean one thing!
1129
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:36,460
Irwin's naked.
1130
01:17:37,378 --> 01:17:38,421
Right!
1131
01:17:38,504 --> 01:17:40,506
And Chuck knows where he is!
1132
01:17:40,590 --> 01:17:41,924
Let's go!
1133
01:17:43,301 --> 01:17:45,720
Left turn!
Forward easy!
1134
01:17:46,053 --> 01:17:48,681
They're quitting!
They've given up!
1135
01:17:49,849 --> 01:17:51,767
I knew they didn't have what it takes!
1136
01:17:53,519 --> 01:17:56,647
Hey! That's lepetomane u
for ya, you degenerates!
1137
01:17:56,772 --> 01:17:59,483
Good old lobotomy u!
1138
01:18:00,109 --> 01:18:02,153
Let's move out of here.
1139
01:18:02,612 --> 01:18:05,865
Let's just kick back and coast,
because the trophy is ours!
1140
01:18:07,241 --> 01:18:08,284
Scumbags!
1141
01:18:09,702 --> 01:18:11,120
Hey, Chuck!
1142
01:18:12,205 --> 01:18:15,833
It's good to see you, too,
but first things first, huh?
1143
01:18:16,167 --> 01:18:18,753
Now, where is he?
Where's irwin, Chuck?
1144
01:18:20,713 --> 01:18:22,882
Oh, my god!
They killed him!
1145
01:18:23,049 --> 01:18:26,093
No, they haven't killed him,
but he's... he's...
1146
01:18:27,011 --> 01:18:28,679
He's lying on the ground somewhere!
1147
01:18:28,763 --> 01:18:29,889
Right, Chuck?
1148
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:32,558
No, on the nose!
1149
01:18:32,642 --> 01:18:35,144
But where is irwin now, Chuck?
Where is he now?
1150
01:18:42,276 --> 01:18:44,278
He's trying to
get into the wet bag.
1151
01:18:44,445 --> 01:18:47,907
- Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag...
- Bag lady?
1152
01:18:51,535 --> 01:18:53,287
He's got a bone...
1153
01:18:53,537 --> 01:18:54,956
Oh, my god!
1154
01:18:55,081 --> 01:18:56,707
They cut him into steaks!
1155
01:18:59,919 --> 01:19:02,463
They haven't cut him into steaks,
they've, uh, uh...
1156
01:19:02,546 --> 01:19:05,424
They staked him to the ground!
1157
01:19:05,508 --> 01:19:08,261
Where is he, Chuck?
Where is irwin now?
1158
01:19:09,095 --> 01:19:10,596
Chuck, that's my jacket!
1159
01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:12,598
He's trying to tell us something!
1160
01:19:14,308 --> 01:19:16,227
They plucked him!
1161
01:19:21,065 --> 01:19:22,275
I'm trying.
1162
01:19:22,358 --> 01:19:25,319
They haven't plucked him,
it's something to do with...
1163
01:19:25,403 --> 01:19:26,612
Feathers! Feathers!
1164
01:19:26,696 --> 01:19:29,115
No, those aren't feathers!
That's down!
1165
01:19:29,615 --> 01:19:31,659
Down! Down! All right!
1166
01:19:31,867 --> 01:19:34,412
Down something.
They've got irwin down something.
1167
01:19:34,495 --> 01:19:36,664
Come on, Chuck, where?
Give us another clue, quick!
1168
01:19:36,747 --> 01:19:37,790
Chuck, how many syllables?
1169
01:19:39,125 --> 01:19:41,168
- Two!
- Two syllables!
1170
01:19:44,463 --> 01:19:47,341
God! They cut out his liver!
1171
01:19:50,177 --> 01:19:52,972
Down... down...
Down liver... uh...
1172
01:19:53,723 --> 01:19:54,807
I've got it!
1173
01:19:54,890 --> 01:19:56,142
- What?
- What?
1174
01:19:56,225 --> 01:19:58,894
"Down liver," that's Japanese
for "downriver"!
1175
01:20:03,941 --> 01:20:05,192
All right, Chuck!
1176
01:20:07,194 --> 01:20:08,404
Those were great clues.
1177
01:20:08,487 --> 01:20:10,031
I thought they were kinda hard.
1178
01:20:16,954 --> 01:20:20,082
My sweet boom-boom maker.
1179
01:20:30,718 --> 01:20:32,470
Where's your doggie?
1180
01:20:32,553 --> 01:20:33,929
Look, I think there's been some mistake.
1181
01:20:34,013 --> 01:20:36,057
Where's your underwear?
1182
01:20:36,140 --> 01:20:38,100
I don't know.
The dog ran off...
1183
01:20:38,184 --> 01:20:39,727
Don't wanna cooperate, huh?
1184
01:20:41,604 --> 01:20:43,189
That's okay.
1185
01:20:43,898 --> 01:20:46,067
Your time is up anyway.
1186
01:20:47,860 --> 01:20:49,570
Say vow prayers,
1187
01:20:49,695 --> 01:20:53,157
you pinko commie slime!
1188
01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:55,409
Slime?
1189
01:20:56,202 --> 01:20:58,662
No shooting with the gun, please!
1190
01:20:58,746 --> 01:21:00,790
Oh, look,
if we can talk about this...
1191
01:21:06,670 --> 01:21:08,756
Oh, hi, guys.
Glad you could stop by.
1192
01:21:10,883 --> 01:21:12,593
Well, well, well.
1193
01:21:13,302 --> 01:21:15,596
You finally decided
to show your face, eh?
1194
01:21:17,139 --> 01:21:18,974
Well, you walked
right into my little trap,
1195
01:21:19,058 --> 01:21:21,060
and you'll never get out alive.
1196
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:30,820
Be my guest.
1197
01:21:35,324 --> 01:21:36,867
Take my money!
Anything you want! No, anything!
1198
01:21:36,951 --> 01:21:39,412
Go ahead, just ask me,
I'll tell you anything! Anything!
1199
01:21:39,745 --> 01:21:41,414
I'd like to know
what he did with my pants.
1200
01:21:46,710 --> 01:21:48,754
Good for you.
Son of a bitch.
1201
01:21:50,131 --> 01:21:51,340
Irwin!
1202
01:21:51,841 --> 01:21:53,801
Just in time to turn me over.
1203
01:21:55,970 --> 01:21:58,639
What's he doing?
He should be here by now!
1204
01:21:59,849 --> 01:22:01,058
Johnson,
1205
01:22:01,142 --> 01:22:02,601
go get captain braverman.
1206
01:22:02,685 --> 01:22:05,187
You go get him.
I don't miss him.
1207
01:22:05,312 --> 01:22:07,440
Johnson, you see this?
You know what this means?
1208
01:22:07,523 --> 01:22:11,277
Hey, you see this, sparky?
You know what this means, huh?
1209
01:22:14,280 --> 01:22:15,865
What do you got there, Chuck?
1210
01:22:15,948 --> 01:22:17,408
What is that?
1211
01:22:17,491 --> 01:22:19,785
Oh, laughing gas.
1212
01:22:29,044 --> 01:22:30,880
Men? Men!
1213
01:22:33,883 --> 01:22:35,759
The enemy is upon us!
1214
01:22:37,052 --> 01:22:38,429
Charge!
1215
01:22:40,389 --> 01:22:41,557
Gosh, is he dead?
1216
01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:43,642
I sure as hell hope so.
1217
01:23:03,662 --> 01:23:05,039
That one, right there!
1218
01:23:05,122 --> 01:23:06,749
You get him, we'll take the others.
1219
01:23:18,093 --> 01:23:21,347
There's nothing like the peace
and quiet of the wilderness.
1220
01:23:21,430 --> 01:23:22,515
Shall we go?
1221
01:23:22,598 --> 01:23:23,641
- I think we should.
- Absolutely.
1222
01:23:26,310 --> 01:23:27,770
Hey, guys,
where you been?
1223
01:23:28,103 --> 01:23:29,688
Taking care of
a little unfinished business.
1224
01:23:29,772 --> 01:23:31,106
You know, returning a favor.
1225
01:23:31,190 --> 01:23:33,150
Irwin, you look good!
1226
01:23:33,234 --> 01:23:34,860
I feel good. Can't complain.
1227
01:23:35,569 --> 01:23:37,154
Guys, guys...
1228
01:23:37,238 --> 01:23:38,656
Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff.
1229
01:23:38,739 --> 01:23:41,575
What do you say
we win this race for us?
1230
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:47,790
No, no. You dickhead.
1231
01:23:47,873 --> 01:23:51,293
You weren't supposed to get it engraved
until after they cross the finish line.
1232
01:23:51,377 --> 01:23:52,461
Now hide it.
1233
01:23:57,758 --> 01:23:59,385
Five minutes,
ladies and gentlemen.
1234
01:24:00,761 --> 01:24:03,722
Five minutes and counting.
Any bets?
1235
01:24:08,852 --> 01:24:10,229
Keep it steady.
1236
01:24:10,312 --> 01:24:11,689
That's it.
1237
01:24:12,898 --> 01:24:16,068
You know, guys, I can see it all now.
1238
01:24:16,318 --> 01:24:17,695
All of us being
carried around the square
1239
01:24:17,778 --> 01:24:19,738
on the shoulders
of cheering hordes.
1240
01:24:19,822 --> 01:24:23,576
Co-eds beating down our doors,
chaining themselves to our beds.
1241
01:24:24,868 --> 01:24:27,162
We're gonna get laid
for six months off this one.
1242
01:24:27,454 --> 01:24:30,374
Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted
into the stud hall of fame.
1243
01:24:30,958 --> 01:24:32,918
I thought we already were.
I know I am.
1244
01:24:33,043 --> 01:24:34,920
You're such an animal.
1245
01:24:35,004 --> 01:24:37,006
Come on!
Forward, men, let's do it!
1246
01:24:37,548 --> 01:24:39,049
Move! Let's go.
1247
01:24:39,133 --> 01:24:40,843
Hard forward, that's it.
1248
01:24:40,926 --> 01:24:42,011
Keep it steady.
1249
01:25:09,371 --> 01:25:10,623
Powers.
1250
01:25:11,707 --> 01:25:14,543
Powers... the plunger.
1251
01:25:15,628 --> 01:25:19,423
Powers!
That's an order, bean head!
1252
01:25:50,204 --> 01:25:51,789
Stroke! Stroke!
1253
01:25:51,872 --> 01:25:53,707
Come on, forward!
1254
01:25:54,166 --> 01:25:56,377
So long, jerks!
1255
01:26:12,017 --> 01:26:13,060
Go! Go!
1256
01:26:13,143 --> 01:26:14,561
Go! Go!
1257
01:26:21,193 --> 01:26:23,779
Oh, god! You give great vibes.
1258
01:26:48,345 --> 01:26:49,430
Where's the river?
1259
01:26:55,686 --> 01:26:56,854
There's the river!
1260
01:26:58,522 --> 01:26:59,690
My god!
1261
01:26:59,773 --> 01:27:01,942
Back paddle!
Back paddle!
1262
01:27:36,018 --> 01:27:37,269
We did it! Come on!
1263
01:27:37,770 --> 01:27:40,189
Another victory for the mighty crimson!
1264
01:27:54,119 --> 01:27:55,454
Let's get out of here!
1265
01:28:01,084 --> 01:28:03,712
Oh, I think maybe
your toilet's overflowing.
1266
01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:24,209
Cocktails, anyone?
1267
01:29:35,512 --> 01:29:37,848
There's Ivy!
There's Ivy!
1268
01:29:41,310 --> 01:29:42,436
There's the finish line!
1269
01:29:44,354 --> 01:29:47,900
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
1270
01:29:57,576 --> 01:29:58,994
Come on, you guys!
1271
01:29:59,828 --> 01:30:01,288
See ya, Ivy!
1272
01:30:02,331 --> 01:30:03,874
They can't do that!
1273
01:30:03,957 --> 01:30:05,834
- That's cheating!
- They can't do that!
1274
01:30:10,088 --> 01:30:11,298
Yeah!
1275
01:30:23,101 --> 01:30:24,937
Team lepetomane!
1276
01:30:25,312 --> 01:30:26,480
We did it!
1277
01:30:29,942 --> 01:30:31,818
Congratulations.
1278
01:31:00,514 --> 01:31:01,890
Tell me,
1279
01:31:02,474 --> 01:31:04,393
was it as good for you
1280
01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:06,895
as it was for me that time?
1281
01:31:07,646 --> 01:31:09,648
- No.
- No?
1282
01:31:12,693 --> 01:31:14,236
It was better.
1283
01:31:30,585 --> 01:31:31,753
Bob...
1284
01:31:32,796 --> 01:31:34,965
How big could it really be?
1285
01:31:37,843 --> 01:31:39,803
Well, let's find out.
1286
01:31:55,819 --> 01:31:58,113
I'm up the creek
1287
01:31:59,531 --> 01:32:02,117
I'm up the creek
1288
01:32:14,504 --> 01:32:18,175
just like the one that got away
1289
01:32:18,550 --> 01:32:21,053
so close, but yet so far
1290
01:32:21,970 --> 01:32:24,723
I threw my hook into the water
1291
01:32:24,806 --> 01:32:27,476
I nearly caught her
1292
01:32:27,559 --> 01:32:28,935
how bizarre
1293
01:32:29,019 --> 01:32:31,438
now I'm up the creek
1294
01:32:31,521 --> 01:32:33,356
though I have lost a little pride
1295
01:32:33,440 --> 01:32:35,192
I'm up the creek
1296
01:32:35,275 --> 01:32:37,736
I know that time is on my side
1297
01:32:37,819 --> 01:32:39,112
I'm up the creek
1298
01:32:39,196 --> 01:32:41,114
though you have pulled the plug on me
1299
01:32:41,198 --> 01:32:42,657
I'm up the creek
1300
01:32:42,741 --> 01:32:44,576
there's more than one fish in the sea
1301
01:32:44,659 --> 01:32:46,453
I'm not about to let it be
1302
01:32:46,536 --> 01:32:48,580
I know that I am up the creek
1303
01:32:50,207 --> 01:32:51,833
hey! Hey!
1304
01:32:55,962 --> 01:32:58,840
The foreign legion's always there
1305
01:32:59,549 --> 01:33:02,052
I need a holiday
1306
01:33:03,178 --> 01:33:05,847
daydream in the desert
1307
01:33:05,931 --> 01:33:08,350
with no pressure
1308
01:33:08,433 --> 01:33:12,312
that's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
1309
01:33:12,395 --> 01:33:14,314
though I have lost a little drive
1310
01:33:14,397 --> 01:33:16,149
I'm up the creek
1311
01:33:16,233 --> 01:33:17,984
I know that time is on my side
1312
01:33:18,068 --> 01:33:19,820
I'm up the creek
1313
01:33:19,903 --> 01:33:21,613
though you have pulled the plug on me
1314
01:33:21,696 --> 01:33:23,615
I'm up the creek
1315
01:33:23,698 --> 01:33:25,492
there's more than one fish in the sea
1316
01:33:25,575 --> 01:33:27,369
I'm not about to let it be
1317
01:33:27,452 --> 01:33:29,830
I know that I'm up the creek
1318
01:33:32,499 --> 01:33:34,459
I'm up the creek
1319
01:33:34,543 --> 01:33:36,169
without a paddle
1320
01:33:36,253 --> 01:33:38,004
I'm up the creek
1321
01:33:38,088 --> 01:33:41,007
but that don't matter at all
1322
01:33:42,425 --> 01:33:45,929
no matter at all
1323
01:33:47,222 --> 01:33:49,015
I'm up the creek
1324
01:33:49,099 --> 01:33:50,809
without a paddle
1325
01:33:50,892 --> 01:33:52,811
I'm up the creek
1326
01:33:52,894 --> 01:33:55,939
I'm learning to paddle it all
1327
01:33:57,732 --> 01:34:01,778
paddle it all
1328
01:34:04,698 --> 01:34:06,199
hey! Hey!
1329
01:34:10,036 --> 01:34:14,708
I'm up the creek
1330
01:34:17,377 --> 01:34:21,965
I'm up the creek
1331
01:34:24,718 --> 01:34:29,347
I'm up the creek
1332
01:34:29,431 --> 01:34:32,309
here I go!
You want to go?
1333
01:34:32,392 --> 01:34:36,688
I'm up the creek
1334
01:34:36,771 --> 01:34:39,649
help me! Help me! Help me!
1335
01:34:39,733 --> 01:34:44,362
I'm up the creek
1336
01:34:47,073 --> 01:34:51,703
I'm up the creek
1337
01:34:51,786 --> 01:34:55,373
watch it! Wow!
1338
01:34:58,251 --> 01:35:02,130
The foreign legion's always there
1339
01:35:02,214 --> 01:35:04,758
I need a holiday
1340
01:35:05,926 --> 01:35:08,595
daydream in the desert
1341
01:35:08,678 --> 01:35:11,223
with no pressure
1342
01:35:11,306 --> 01:35:15,268
that's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
1343
01:35:15,352 --> 01:35:17,395
though I have lost a little drive
1344
01:35:17,479 --> 01:35:19,147
I'm up the creek
1345
01:35:19,231 --> 01:35:21,483
I know that time is on my side
1346
01:35:21,566 --> 01:35:22,776
I'm up the creek
1347
01:35:22,859 --> 01:35:24,694
though you have pulled the plug on me
1348
01:35:24,778 --> 01:35:26,363
I'm up the creek
1349
01:35:26,446 --> 01:35:28,240
there's more than one fish in the sea
1350
01:35:28,323 --> 01:35:30,075
I'm not about to let it be
1351
01:35:30,158 --> 01:35:32,661
I know that I'm up the creek
1352
01:35:35,288 --> 01:35:37,123
I'm up the creek
1353
01:35:37,207 --> 01:35:38,875
without a paddle
1354
01:35:38,959 --> 01:35:40,877
I'm up the creek...
88438
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.