All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S01E13.1080p.WEB.h264-GOSSIP-NHI

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,664 Wow, we really pulled this place together. 2 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,362 Do you think Kenny and Liz will like it? 3 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:17,278 I hope so. And I hope Liz Grams the hell out of this wedding 4 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,062 for her 300,000 followers. 5 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,977 Oh, I know I've made fun of her social media, 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,414 but now that it could help us launch our bed-and-breakfast, 7 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,982 we are the ones who are #Blessed. 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,288 Oh, this is lovely! 9 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,551 I hope these nuptials go better than mine. 10 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,118 Elias arrived late, drunk, 11 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,423 and smelling of the maid's perfume. 12 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,208 Hetty, why would you marry that guy? 13 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,905 My father needed to close a land deal, 14 00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,515 and I was deemed his most comely daughter. 15 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,127 Damn Margaret and her mustache. She dodged a bullet. 16 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,433 Hey, you got a minute? 17 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,087 Something I need you to see. 18 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,523 Those are always expensive words to hear. 19 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,221 Oh, Mark, is it bad news? 20 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,874 This could actually be good news. 21 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,007 Well, I'll bring a check for five grand just in case. 22 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,835 No need. I have your card on file now. 23 00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,271 Great. 24 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,186 So, I was doing some rewiring, 25 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,406 and when I turned this sconce, I heard a click from that wall. 26 00:00:58,449 --> 00:00:59,581 Check this out. 27 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,414 And that's when I discovered something behind this paneling. 28 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,850 Is it a secret passageway? 29 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,504 Don't toy with my emotions, Mark. 30 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,028 It's never a secret passageway. 31 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,943 But in this case, it is. 32 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,641 How about that mislead, babe? Mark's having fun. 33 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,339 Oh! Oh! 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,386 Did you know about this, Hetty? I did not! 35 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,301 What is down the passageway? 36 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,955 Oh, it's good. 37 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,003 I don't understand. 38 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,441 So, we just have a bank vault under our house? 39 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:35,660 Well, you said a robber baron lived here, right? 40 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,707 What? Babe, we might be rich. 41 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,926 Unless, of course, this is a Geraldo situation. 42 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,928 What is Geraldo? 43 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,669 He was this news anchor 44 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,018 who did this live TV special 45 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,846 where he opened up Al Capone's vault. 46 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,066 And inside? Bubkes. 47 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,155 Don't get me started on Al Capone. 48 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,940 That man was clingy. Can you open it? 49 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,420 Think so. 50 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,900 Course, it'll take a while. 51 00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,510 Won't be cheap. Mark. 52 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,121 Say the word. Card's on file. 53 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,775 My crooked husband must have built this 54 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,255 to embezzle my riches. 55 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,301 Hetty thinks there might be riches inside. 56 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,607 If this thing is filled with gold coins, 57 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,609 I am definitely gonna Scrooge McDuck in 'em. 58 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,916 Can one of you walk through the door and see what's in there? 59 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,614 I'll do it. A Pinecone Trooper's always up for an adventure. Mm. 60 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,791 Oh! Peter! 61 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,403 I've never seen that happen before. 62 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,969 Pete bounced off the vault door. 63 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:27,190 A surface that's impenetrable to ghosts? 64 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,714 I love it when the mythology gets expanded. 65 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,065 Puny Pete must not be strong enough. 66 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,285 Stand back. 67 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:42,336 Well, this is mysterious. 68 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,339 โ™ช 69 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:49,865 Hetty, do you have any idea 70 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,693 what combination Elias could have used? 71 00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,521 Oh, that's a good idea. 72 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,087 Try 0603. 73 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,785 Try 0603. 74 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,179 It was our anniversary. 0603. 75 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,746 Oh, nope. Okay. 76 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,661 Fine. Uh, try 1101. 77 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,967 1101? 78 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,925 The maid's birthday. 79 00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,537 01. 80 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:11,713 Yes! Oh! 81 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,715 Ah, that is heavy! 82 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,198 Okay. 83 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,678 Damn it! 84 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,245 There's nothing in here. 85 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,204 Aw. No riches. 86 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,770 See, now picture this 87 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,511 but with Geraldo having to vamp for two hours. 88 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,037 Sweet Lord, I'm finally free. 89 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,823 Who are all you people? Hetty! 90 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,739 Elias. How are you not rotting in hell? 91 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,741 Good to see you, too. 92 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,178 The ghost of a robber baron just popped out of our safe. 93 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,875 Hey, where's all your gold, man? 94 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,008 Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you. 95 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,270 Welcome. 96 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,490 Back, I guess. Welcome back. 97 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,708 Oh, my God. 98 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,189 Is that...?! My corpse? 99 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,147 It is. The only thing that kept me company 100 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,976 when I was locked in there for the last 130 years. 101 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,369 Not much of a talker, though. 102 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,373 That must be Kenny and Liz. I'll get it. 103 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,853 Okay. I'll just stay in here 104 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,550 with the corpse and all the ghosts. 105 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,204 I was kidding. Sam, please slow down! 106 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,553 Sam! 107 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,295 So, this is where you've been all this time? 108 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,558 Yes. What did you think 109 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,994 when I just disappeared? 110 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,431 Didn't you search for me? 111 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,302 You didn't tell anyone about the vault. 112 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,304 I assumed that you ran off with one of your many floozies. 113 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,698 No. The vault maker locked me in here. 114 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,048 He left me to suffocate. Oh. 115 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,571 His wife and I had grown close. 116 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,399 Oh, God. And when he finished the vault, 117 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,966 there was a debate over payment 118 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,141 and the paternity of his son, but... Oh. 119 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,752 Wait, all of you are ghosts? 120 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,233 Yeah, bro. We've all died on the property over the years. 121 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,887 Most people go up, 122 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,715 but we just stick around for some reason. Hi. 123 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,717 I am Thorfinn. 124 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,327 I like herring and... 125 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:48,026 Wonderful. Now, how do-eth you, madam? 126 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,550 Really? 127 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,596 Mm-mm. Not happening. 128 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:57,079 Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi! Hi! 129 00:04:57,122 --> 00:05:01,126 Oh, I am so excited to be here. 130 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,391 I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow. 131 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,873 Kenny, did you get that? 132 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,701 Oh! Sorry, the phone wasn't ready. 133 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,355 Uh... Okay, this is gonna be a big weekend 134 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226 for us, so I'm gonna need you to have your phone 135 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,663 in your hand at all times, okay? Yeah. 136 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,273 These two seem like a lot. 137 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,709 Oh, so, who's this little guy? 138 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,058 Oh, this is Rooney, 139 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,017 our rescue that we rescued. 140 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,627 Oh, my God, Rooney. I follow him. 141 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,891 Uh, Rooney's got, like, 30,000 followers. 142 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,197 What's a follower? 143 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,894 Well, in the cult, it referred to anyone 144 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,027 who'd gotten the tattoo and slept with Bruce. 145 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,203 Are you guys gonna post any pictures while you're here? 146 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337 Feel free to tag us. #WoodstoneB&B. 147 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,469 I absolutely will, 148 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,166 just after the wedding. 149 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,691 Actually on a short social media vacay right now. 150 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:44,735 It's part 151 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:45,780 of a brand strategy 152 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,303 to make sure that Liz 153 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,652 seems more present for life's big moments. 154 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,001 Exactly. 155 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,308 Because life is about what happens 156 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,528 when the cameras aren't rolling. 157 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,009 Kenny, did you get that? Oh, sorry. 158 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,925 Damn it. Okay, we'll roll it back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 159 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,798 I still can't believe 160 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,103 I didn't ascend into heaven. 161 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,584 I paid the church. There was a contract! 162 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,587 Did you pay for me, too, or was it just a solo trip? 163 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,936 I was a little pinched at the time. 164 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,547 The mill workers had unionized, 165 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,026 which I put down violently, 166 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,854 but somebody had to pay for that mob. 167 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,421 That is not a great story. 168 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423 So, you're an actual robber baron. 169 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,382 I mean, you're, like, really rich, right? 170 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:26,037 Let me put it to you this way: I ate meat several times a week. 171 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,388 Well, it's not a Lamborghini, but that's very cool. 172 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,912 So, did anyone else from our day stick around as a ghost? 173 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,348 He's gonna ask about the maid. 174 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,220 Like, oh, I don't know, say, the maid? 175 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,831 Just to name someone randomly. 176 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,310 No, she's no longer here, 177 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,703 you syphilitic reprobate. 178 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,706 First off, everybody fun had syphilis. 179 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,665 And I don't appreciate that tone. 180 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,318 Well, then maybe you should go back 181 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,146 down to your vault and talk to your withered corpse. 182 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,452 There it is again. 183 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,236 What happened to my obedient wife? 184 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,326 Well, modern women don't just defer to their husbands, 185 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,416 Elias, and I have learned from the living lady of the house 186 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,156 that when she doesn't like something, she says so. 187 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,116 Like when Jay spent $500 on action doll. 188 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,683 Big mistake. 189 00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,729 That living lady is a dangerous influence on you 190 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,731 with her newfangled notions. 191 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,386 She and Jay have simply opened my eyes. 192 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,822 They have a respectful marriage, 193 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,389 and you were a terrible husband, Elias. 194 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,869 And my least favorite cousin. 195 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,786 I don't have to stand here and listen to another word of this! 196 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:22,180 Look, it's not important, but how hot was this maid? 197 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,015 What kind of servant doesn't move out of the way? 198 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,849 You want to go into that room and have sex right now? 199 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,329 I... What? 200 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,375 I want you like I've never wanted anyone. Uh, 201 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:47,118 sorry, I'm married. But that was a much-needed confidence boost. 202 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,773 What are you talking about? 203 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:52,036 About you hitting on me just now? 204 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,821 You wish. 205 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695 Wow. 206 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,915 And this is where it all happens. 207 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,831 Wow. The wedding planner was raving 208 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,833 about the heritage menu you're doing. 209 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,139 Now, I've never had squab. 210 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,011 What's that like? 211 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,883 I'd say it's like pigeon. It's a lot like pigeon. 212 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,755 Well, I'm really looking forward to seeing 213 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,583 what you come up with. 214 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,281 Oh! Blast it, that hurt. 215 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,196 Uh... 216 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,850 are you okay? 217 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,591 Yeah. 218 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:28,246 I feel real good. 219 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,552 Oh, great. 220 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,423 Well, I-I'll just show you the sauces. 221 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,122 All I can think about is grabbing your butt. 222 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,172 What? What is it? What's going on, Jay? Okay. 223 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,522 I don't know how to tell you this. 224 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,307 Liz hit on me. 225 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,875 What? The bride? Oh, okay. 226 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572 Wait, what does that mean? 227 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,270 You don't believe me? No, it's just, are you sure 228 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,272 this isn't, like, an Olive Garden situation? 229 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,274 Okay, that waitress definitely hit on me. 230 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,363 What is the Olive Garden? It's a restaurant 231 00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,930 known for its endless breadstick baskets. 232 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,629 Alberta and Sass are here. Oh, hey. 233 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,501 Endless? How is that even possible? 234 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242 Jay and I ate there a couple months ago, 235 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,331 and our waitress was refilling our bread basket... 236 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,289 Yeah, and then I said, "No, thank you, or I'll eat 237 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,902 'olive' them." Olive. Olive Garden. 238 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,512 Tonya laughed for six straight minutes. 239 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,948 Yeah, she works for tips, Jay. 240 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,950 Hey, this is a victory for you. 241 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,910 You have me. You're living Tonya's dream. 242 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,781 Okay, so, what exactly did Liz say? 243 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:28,045 She said all she could think about was grabbing my butt. 244 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,830 Mm. That little thing? 245 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,528 Wait, seriously? She did hit on you. 246 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,964 That's insane. Do we 247 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,487 tell Kenny? Because if we tell Kenny, 248 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,664 then this wedding probably gets called off, right? 249 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,013 Liz was gonna post about it. 250 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,449 This was gonna put us on the map. 251 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,016 But we got to tell him, right? 252 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,626 Yes. 253 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,629 Ugh, why do you have to be so damn irresistible? 254 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,023 Sorry. It's a curse. 255 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,503 Hey, guys. 256 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,984 What's wrong, Samantha? 257 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,943 It has been a day. 258 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,119 Tell me about it. 259 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,164 I cannot believe Elias is back. 260 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,298 Till death do us part. It's right in the vows. 261 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,996 So, why'd you have a bad day, Samantha? 262 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,781 Well, the bride hit on Jay, 263 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,783 and now Kenny's probably gonna call the whole thing off. 264 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,262 What? Wait, seriously? 265 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,829 Now she's not gonna post pictures of the mansion, 266 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,570 and we're not even gonna get paid for the wedding. 267 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,920 We're, like, this close to defaulting on our loan. 268 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,095 Samantha, 269 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,314 what are you saying? 270 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,359 Okay, I hadn't told you guys, 271 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,318 but if we don't start making money soon, 272 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,015 we could lose the house. 273 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:28,279 No, you cannot leave us! 274 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,107 Just when I finally learned to look beyond the hideous pants 275 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,675 and see the wonderful person inside the hideous pants. 276 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,851 You think I want to leave? I don't know what to do. 277 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,636 I have it. Solution. 278 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,768 You and small man kill yourselves. 279 00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,249 Become ghosts. And then we are friends forever. 280 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,990 But they might not actually become ghosts. 281 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,732 Right, that's the problem with that plan. 282 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,995 Hello, all. Get your spatterdashes 283 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,171 off my table. I had it upholstered 284 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,868 with the hide of a white rhinoceros 285 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,565 I shot in Kenya. 286 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,480 Oh, my God. Those are extinct now. 287 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,569 Really? We got 'em all? Bully for us. 288 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,875 Man, he is evil. 289 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,616 And I used to pillage for a living. 290 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,227 Oh! That thing ran 291 00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:06,578 through my leg. Skin that beast and turn it into a table. 292 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,450 Must everything be a table? 293 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,495 Well, he's 294 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,628 really interested in that teddy bear. 295 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,891 Ah! Look at the little guy go. 296 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,677 Good boy. Yes, use your hips. 297 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,114 One walk through you and the dog becomes a sex pervert. 298 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,724 Can't say I'm surprised. 299 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,075 Wait, Elias, did you walk through any Livings today? 300 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,990 Like the bride, to be specific? 301 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,037 Yes, in fact, I did accidentally happen through her. Why? 302 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,300 That's it. That's why Liz hit on Jay. 303 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:34,824 Your ghost power is that when people-- 304 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,173 or animals, apparently-- 305 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,001 walk through you, they get horny. 306 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,394 Really? 307 00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,787 Okay, I know he's controversial, 308 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,789 but that's pretty cool. Yeah. 309 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,312 It wasn't Liz's fault at all. 310 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,879 She didn't mean to hit on Jay. 311 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,837 I've got to stop Jay telling Kenny. 312 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,709 Well, 313 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,188 I hope you're happy. 314 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,190 You nearly ruined this wedding. 315 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,844 Those two are hemorrhaging cash. 316 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,367 They need this to be a success. 317 00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,195 You're saying those Livings need this wedding 318 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,806 to go off without a hitch, 319 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,111 otherwise they'll be leaving? 320 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,634 Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. 321 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,375 Hmm. 322 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,768 Why is he literally twirling 323 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,943 his mustache? 324 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,771 It can't be good. 325 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,470 Kenny, hey. 326 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,734 I've been looking all over for you. What's up, buddy? 327 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,692 I don't know how to say this. Um... 328 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,869 Okay, y-you know how I'm always getting hit on by random women? 329 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,002 Is this about the Cheesecake Factory waitress? 330 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,656 There's an entire factory dedicated to cheesecake? 331 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,224 It's as amazing as it sounds. Wow. 332 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,661 No, it's not about her.You know, she probably writes 333 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,098 "thank you" with the little heart-shaped Os 334 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,056 on every receipt. She works for tips. 335 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,059 Uh, Jay, can I just, uh, grab you for a sec? 336 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,105 Actually, Kenny and I were just about to have 337 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,934 a difficult conversation. We were? 338 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,632 Well, no difficult conversations are needed, 339 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,373 because everything is actually okay. 340 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,374 Oh, hey, 341 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,636 it's the Monopoly guy. 342 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,159 What are you talking about, Sam? 343 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,421 I'm talking about the fact that... 344 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,467 Criminy. 345 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,686 Oh, 346 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,471 what are you doing, man? 347 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,515 Just spreading a little love. 348 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,343 Aw, that's sweet. 349 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,824 You two are looking good. 350 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,348 Very good. 351 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,134 Jay? What's going on? 352 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,831 I haven't seen Sam this worked up 353 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,964 since she saw that movie The Holiday on TV. 354 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,097 Sam? Damnation! 355 00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,882 You can't just walk through people. 356 00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,144 It's the greatest pain there is. 357 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,362 Well, actually... 358 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,363 Yes, yes, we know. Okay. 359 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,452 Well, hello, you two. 360 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,716 Did you leave the oven on? Or is it just getting... 361 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,370 hot in here? 362 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,808 Well, enjoy the show. 363 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,331 Hey, Kenny, 364 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,333 didn't you say you didn't have a bachelor party? 365 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,858 Well, how about we have a little party right here? 366 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,729 What? I could be Cameron Diaz, 367 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:41,124 and you two could be a couple of Jude Laws. 368 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,473 Okay, that was not in the movie. 369 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,823 What is that? 370 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,433 Did you just meow at me? 371 00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:48,175 What are you doing? What's going on? 372 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,437 I don't think I'm tall enough to be Jude Law. 373 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,091 Liz. Liz. Liz! 374 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,310 Oh. 375 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,357 What happened? I feel like I just blacked out. 376 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,228 Me, too. I-I have the strangest urge 377 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,577 to watch a Nancy Meyers movie. 378 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,579 Kenny? What's happening? 379 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,972 These two 380 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,932 just propositioned me for a threesome. 381 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324 They what? 382 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,586 We what? 383 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,153 It was Elias. 384 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,894 Oh, God. 385 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,853 Uh, there's got to be some kind of misunderstanding. 386 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,813 No. No. Uh, we did proposition Kenny, actually. 387 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,946 What? Babe. 388 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,730 As a test of your faithfulness. 389 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,906 And guess what. You passed. 390 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:27,257 Yep, you passed. Flying colors. I'm sorry, 391 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,260 you two tried to have sex with my Kenny 392 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,001 the day before my wedding? 393 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,655 No. No, God, no. 394 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,700 Oh, my God, no, I would not have sex with Kenny. 395 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,006 But you guys 396 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,530 should definitely have sex with each other. 397 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,924 Okay, this is too weird. 398 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:45,623 Uh, disgusting. We will not be having our wedding here. 399 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,365 No, no, no, don't leave. What about the squab? 400 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,453 The squab! 401 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,591 You know, a bake sale's a quick way to earn some cash. 402 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,376 O-Our troop once raised $78 in one week. 403 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,770 Thanks, Pete. What's happening? 404 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:05,034 The ghosts are pitching ways for us to make money. That's sweet. 405 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,254 Any viable ideas? I have a plan. 406 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,082 But it only works if you have a Tommy gun. 407 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,648 Not really. 408 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,476 Here's what you do. You go to New York. 409 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,348 You look up this guy I know. He's gonna double your money. 410 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,784 His name, Bernie Madoff. 411 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,133 Miracle worker. 412 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,483 I robbed a bank once, if that helps. 413 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,963 Did I ever tell you guys 414 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,791 about that? 415 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,097 I don't think we're gonna get out of this mess, Sam. 416 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533 We're up to our ears in debt. 417 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,317 This house is our only asset. 418 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,450 I think we're gonna have to sell. 419 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,670 Aw, are the poors gonna have to leave? 420 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,281 That didn't take long. 421 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,457 I'd tell you exactly how long, 422 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,676 but unfortunately this thing doesn't work anymore. 423 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,983 You'd think, for $5,000, 424 00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,593 it would last into the afterlife. 425 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:46,075 You spent $5,000 on a watch?! 426 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,859 Wait a minute. 427 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,775 If Elias has that valuable timepiece on his ghostly person, 428 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,603 that must mean...The real watch 429 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,170 must be on his corpse. 430 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,129 What about a corpse? 431 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:59,219 Babe, I need you to do me a quick favor. 432 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,527 Yeah, I don't think I can do this. 433 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:04,789 It's looking right at me. 434 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,052 Babe, he's not looking at you. 435 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,054 His eyes are little, withered husks. 436 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,360 That is not having the calming effect that you want it to. 437 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,493 Okay. 438 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,973 Okay. 439 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,496 Oh. 440 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,019 I know what pocket he kept it in, 441 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,717 but I confess, I'm enjoying this. 442 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,893 Guys? 443 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,939 We got it. Yes! 444 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,029 All right! I bet that's worth a pretty penny in today's dollars. 445 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,204 Definitely enough to keep the bank 446 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,553 off our backs for a few months. 447 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,555 Take that, bank. Yes, I'm sure the bank 448 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,167 will be very hurt that you're making timely payments. 449 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,647 So, this means you're not selling the house? No, Sass, 450 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,432 we're staying. We have a few more months 451 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,737 to get the business up and running. 452 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,827 Well, I am very happy about that. 453 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,264 Oh, look, Elias, 454 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,657 another opinion. And nothing you can do about it. 455 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,747 You think this is over? That I'm just going to give up? 456 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,358 As long as I'm here, 457 00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:52,750 they will never host a wedding 458 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,622 that I don't turn into an all-out orgy. 459 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,493 So just normal wedding? 460 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,365 And I won't stop there. Whatever they host, 461 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,062 I'll make it horny. 462 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,064 Funeral? Horny. 463 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,674 High tea? Horny. 464 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:07,417 Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest. 465 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,071 Is this starting to sound good to anybody else? 466 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,507 Why are you doing this? 467 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,509 Because I want you Livings out of here. 468 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,555 You have corrupted my Hetty. 469 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,427 No! I haven't been corrupted. 470 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,473 I have changed. A little. 471 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,693 For the better, I think. Let's be honest. 472 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:25,479 Elias, you and I were not good people. 473 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,133 We stole. We exploited. 474 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,396 We profited off of others' misery. 475 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,875 We did have fun. 476 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,573 But while you were trapped in that vault, 477 00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,444 I have been out here. 478 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,707 Learning from these people. 479 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,841 Learning from Alberta to speak my mind 480 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,364 and learning from Sam 481 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,192 that the Irish are people, too, apparently. 482 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,455 She says it, but I don't think she believes it. Yes, 483 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,109 I complain about being here. 484 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,503 And yes, I do want to be sucked off more than anything. 485 00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:52,984 But these people have taught me how to be a better Hetty. 486 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,553 And I say there's hope for you, too, 487 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,120 Elias. 488 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,643 You're here for eternity. 489 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,081 Why not use it to change? 490 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,345 I don't need to be a better person. 491 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,173 There is no good or evil. 492 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,305 That's just a story we tell ourselves. 493 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,741 And I know better. 494 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,701 So, Hetty, get this through your tiny, 495 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,921 inferior female brain. 496 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:20,316 I will never change. 497 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,972 Well, then, you can go to hell. 498 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,284 Whoa! 499 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,502 Oh, my God! 500 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,025 He just went down on us. 501 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,592 I didn't know that could happen. 502 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,072 Yeah, I don't love having to worry about that. 503 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,422 Did I... Did I just...? 504 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:42,904 Is that my power, we think? Banishing people to Hades? 505 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,601 Or it was him just yelling he was never gonna change 506 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,342 and basically thumbing his nose at the universe. 507 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,691 That's another possibility. 508 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,215 Well, we should try it out. 509 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,390 Trevor, go to hell. 510 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,522 Why?! Why?! Why?! 511 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,916 Why?! Why would you pick me?! What is wrong with you?! 512 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,005 Guess not. 513 00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,139 That was so scary. Oh, calm down. 514 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,189 I mean, this is just a big day 515 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,582 in terms of ghost rules. 516 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,061 So, the floor opens up, 517 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,541 and this guy falls through right in front of you? 518 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,282 That's incredible. 519 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,458 Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful about this new horror 520 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:16,807 we all have hanging over our heads. 521 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,200 You got to tell me how it happened. I mean, 522 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,246 was it hot? Was there screaming? 523 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,943 Was country music playing? 524 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,510 Well, there was screaming, 525 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,077 but I'm pretty sure that was just from our ghosts. 526 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:28,210 Thor not scream. Thor not scared 527 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,778 of some silly hole in the ground. 528 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,084 Because Thor working towards being better person. 529 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,217 Very open to change. 530 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,915 It all happened so fast. It was, like, this red light, suddenly, 531 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,134 and then whoosh. 532 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,744 Mm! He went down on us. 533 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,442 Alberta, I'm not sure that's the best term... 534 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,183 What? If that's the term that she wants to use, 535 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,619 then she can do it. 536 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,403 Hello, all. 537 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,405 I'm feeling in a good mood, 538 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:53,104 so you may all remain on this earthly plane tonight. 539 00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,932 So funny. 540 00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,457 Hetty just came in, joking about trying to send Trevor to hell. 541 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,459 Aw, too soon, Hetty. 542 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:03,245 Trevor, I told you, I knew it wasn't going to work. 543 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,247 I don't actually have that power. 544 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,553 Or do I? 545 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,381 Thorfinn, you're in my seat. 546 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,600 Moving! Yes. 547 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,866 Wasn't comfortable there, anyways. 36941

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.