Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,664
Wow, we really pulled
this place together.
2
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,362
Do you think Kenny
and Liz will like it?
3
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:17,278
I hope so. And I hope Liz Grams
the hell out of this wedding
4
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,062
for her 300,000 followers.
5
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,977
Oh, I know I've made fun
of her social media,
6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,414
but now that it could help us
launch our bed-and-breakfast,
7
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,982
we are the ones
who are #Blessed.
8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,288
Oh, this is lovely!
9
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,551
I hope these nuptials
go better than mine.
10
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,118
Elias arrived late, drunk,
11
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,423
and smelling
of the maid's perfume.
12
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,208
Hetty, why would
you marry that guy?
13
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,905
My father needed to close
a land deal,
14
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,515
and I was deemed
his most comely daughter.
15
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,127
Damn Margaret and her mustache.
She dodged a bullet.
16
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,433
Hey, you got a minute?
17
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,087
Something I need you to see.
18
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,523
Those are always
expensive words to hear.
19
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,221
Oh, Mark, is it bad news?
20
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,874
This could actually be
good news.
21
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,007
Well, I'll bring a check
for five grand just in case.
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,835
No need.
I have your card on file now.
23
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,271
Great.
24
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,186
So, I was doing some rewiring,
25
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,406
and when I turned this sconce,
I heard a click from that wall.
26
00:00:58,449 --> 00:00:59,581
Check this out.
27
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,414
And that's when I discovered
something behind this paneling.
28
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,850
Is it a secret passageway?
29
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,504
Don't toy
with my emotions, Mark.
30
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,028
It's never a secret passageway.
31
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,943
But in this case, it is.
32
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,641
How about that mislead, babe?
Mark's having fun.
33
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,339
Oh! Oh!
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,386
Did you know about this, Hetty?
I did not!
35
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,301
What is down the passageway?
36
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,955
Oh, it's good.
37
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,003
I don't understand.
38
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,441
So, we just have a bank vault
under our house?
39
00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:35,660
Well, you said a robber baron
lived here, right?
40
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,707
What? Babe, we
might be rich.
41
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,926
Unless, of course,
this is a Geraldo situation.
42
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,928
What is Geraldo?
43
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,669
He was this news anchor
44
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,018
who did
this live TV special
45
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,846
where he opened up
Al Capone's vault.
46
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,066
And inside? Bubkes.
47
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,155
Don't get me started
on Al Capone.
48
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,940
That man was clingy.
Can you open it?
49
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,420
Think so.
50
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,900
Course, it'll take a while.
51
00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,510
Won't be cheap.
Mark.
52
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,121
Say the word. Card's on file.
53
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,775
My crooked husband
must have built this
54
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,255
to embezzle my riches.
55
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,301
Hetty thinks there
might be riches inside.
56
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,607
If this thing is filled
with gold coins,
57
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,609
I am definitely gonna
Scrooge McDuck in 'em.
58
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,916
Can one of you walk through the
door and see what's in there?
59
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,614
I'll do it. A Pinecone Trooper's
always up for an adventure.
Mm.
60
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,791
Oh!
Peter!
61
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,403
I've never seen
that happen before.
62
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,969
Pete bounced
off the vault door.
63
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:27,190
A surface that's
impenetrable to ghosts?
64
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,714
I love it when the
mythology gets expanded.
65
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,065
Puny Pete must not
be strong enough.
66
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,285
Stand back.
67
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:42,336
Well, this is mysterious.
68
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,339
♪
69
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:49,865
Hetty, do you have any idea
70
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,693
what combination
Elias could have used?
71
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,521
Oh, that's a good idea.
72
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,087
Try 0603.
73
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,785
Try 0603.
74
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,179
It was our anniversary.
0603.
75
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,746
Oh, nope.
Okay.
76
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,661
Fine. Uh, try 1101.
77
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,967
1101?
78
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,925
The maid's birthday.
79
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,537
01.
80
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:11,713
Yes!
Oh!
81
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,715
Ah, that is heavy!
82
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,198
Okay.
83
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,678
Damn it!
84
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,245
There's nothing in here.
85
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,204
Aw. No riches.
86
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,770
See, now picture this
87
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,511
but with Geraldo having to vamp
for two hours.
88
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,037
Sweet Lord, I'm finally free.
89
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,823
Who are all you people? Hetty!
90
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,739
Elias. How are you
not rotting in hell?
91
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,741
Good to see you, too.
92
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,178
The ghost of a robber baron
just popped out of our safe.
93
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,875
Hey, where's
all your gold, man?
94
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,008
Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you.
95
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,270
Welcome.
96
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,490
Back, I guess. Welcome back.
97
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,708
Oh, my God.
98
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,189
Is that...?!
My corpse?
99
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,147
It is. The only thing
that kept me company
100
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,976
when I was locked in there
for the last 130 years.
101
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,369
Not much of a talker, though.
102
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,373
That must be Kenny
and Liz. I'll get it.
103
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,853
Okay. I'll just stay in here
104
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,550
with the corpse
and all the ghosts.
105
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,204
I was kidding.
Sam, please slow down!
106
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,553
Sam!
107
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,295
So, this is where you've been
all this time?
108
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,558
Yes. What did you think
109
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,994
when I just disappeared?
110
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,431
Didn't you search for me?
111
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,302
You didn't tell anyone
about the vault.
112
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,304
I assumed that you ran off
with one of your many floozies.
113
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,698
No. The vault maker
locked me in here.
114
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,048
He left me to suffocate.
Oh.
115
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,571
His wife and I had grown close.
116
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,399
Oh, God.
And when he
finished the vault,
117
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,966
there was a debate
over payment
118
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,141
and the paternity
of his son, but...
Oh.
119
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,752
Wait, all of you are ghosts?
120
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,233
Yeah, bro. We've all died
on the property over the years.
121
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,887
Most people go up,
122
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,715
but we just stick around
for some reason.
Hi.
123
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,717
I am Thorfinn.
124
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,327
I like herring and...
125
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:48,026
Wonderful. Now,
how do-eth you, madam?
126
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,550
Really?
127
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,596
Mm-mm. Not happening.
128
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:57,079
Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
Hi!
129
00:04:57,122 --> 00:05:01,126
Oh, I am so excited to be here.
130
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,391
I can't believe
we're getting married tomorrow.
131
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,873
Kenny, did you get that?
132
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,701
Oh! Sorry, the
phone wasn't ready.
133
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,355
Uh... Okay,
this is gonna be a big weekend
134
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226
for us, so I'm gonna need
you to have your phone
135
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,663
in your hand at all times, okay?
Yeah.
136
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,273
These two seem like a lot.
137
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,709
Oh, so,
who's this little guy?
138
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,058
Oh, this is Rooney,
139
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,017
our rescue that we rescued.
140
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,627
Oh, my God, Rooney.
I follow him.
141
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,891
Uh, Rooney's got, like,
30,000 followers.
142
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,197
What's a follower?
143
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,894
Well, in the cult,
it referred to anyone
144
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,027
who'd gotten the tattoo
and slept with Bruce.
145
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,203
Are you guys gonna post
any pictures while you're here?
146
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337
Feel free to tag us.
#WoodstoneB&B.
147
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,469
I absolutely will,
148
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,166
just after the wedding.
149
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,691
Actually on a short
social media vacay right now.
150
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:44,735
It's part
151
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:45,780
of a brand strategy
152
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,303
to make sure that Liz
153
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,652
seems more present for
life's big moments.
154
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,001
Exactly.
155
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,308
Because life
is about what happens
156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,528
when the cameras aren't rolling.
157
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,009
Kenny, did you get that?
Oh, sorry.
158
00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,925
Damn it.
Okay, we'll roll it back.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
159
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,798
I still can't believe
160
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,103
I didn't ascend
into heaven.
161
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,584
I paid the church.
There was a contract!
162
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,587
Did you pay for me, too,
or was it just a solo trip?
163
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,936
I was a little pinched
at the time.
164
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,547
The mill workers had unionized,
165
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,026
which I put down violently,
166
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,854
but somebody had to pay
for that mob.
167
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,421
That is not a great story.
168
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423
So, you're an actual
robber baron.
169
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,382
I mean, you're, like,
really rich, right?
170
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:26,037
Let me put it to you this way:
I ate meat several times a week.
171
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,388
Well, it's not a Lamborghini,
but that's very cool.
172
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,912
So, did anyone else from our day
stick around as a ghost?
173
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,348
He's gonna ask
about the maid.
174
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,220
Like, oh, I don't know,
say, the maid?
175
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,831
Just to name someone
randomly.
176
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,310
No, she's no longer here,
177
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,703
you syphilitic reprobate.
178
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,706
First off,
everybody fun had syphilis.
179
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,665
And I don't appreciate
that tone.
180
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,318
Well, then maybe
you should go back
181
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,146
down to your vault and talk
to your withered corpse.
182
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,452
There it is again.
183
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,236
What happened
to my obedient wife?
184
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,326
Well, modern women don't
just defer to their husbands,
185
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,416
Elias, and I have learned from
the living lady of the house
186
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,156
that when she doesn't like
something, she says so.
187
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,116
Like when Jay spent
$500 on action doll.
188
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,683
Big mistake.
189
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,729
That living lady
is a dangerous influence on you
190
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,731
with her newfangled notions.
191
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,386
She and Jay have
simply opened my eyes.
192
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,822
They have a
respectful marriage,
193
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,389
and you were a terrible
husband, Elias.
194
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,869
And my least
favorite cousin.
195
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,786
I don't have to stand here and
listen to another word of this!
196
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:22,180
Look, it's not important,
but how hot was this maid?
197
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,015
What kind of servant
doesn't move out of the way?
198
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,849
You want to go into that room
and have sex right now?
199
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,329
I... What?
200
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,375
I want you like I've
never wanted anyone.
Uh,
201
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:47,118
sorry, I'm married. But that was
a much-needed confidence boost.
202
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,773
What are you talking about?
203
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:52,036
About you hitting on me
just now?
204
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,821
You wish.
205
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695
Wow.
206
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,915
And this is where
it all happens.
207
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,831
Wow. The wedding planner
was raving
208
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,833
about the heritage menu
you're doing.
209
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,139
Now, I've never had squab.
210
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,011
What's that like?
211
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,883
I'd say it's like pigeon.
It's a lot like pigeon.
212
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,755
Well, I'm really looking forward
to seeing
213
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,583
what you come up with.
214
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,281
Oh! Blast it, that hurt.
215
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,196
Uh...
216
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,850
are you okay?
217
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,591
Yeah.
218
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:28,246
I feel real good.
219
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,552
Oh, great.
220
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,423
Well,
I-I'll just show you the sauces.
221
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,122
All I can think about
is grabbing your butt.
222
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,172
What? What is it?
What's going on, Jay?
Okay.
223
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,522
I don't know how
to tell you this.
224
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,307
Liz hit on me.
225
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,875
What?
The bride?
Oh, okay.
226
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572
Wait, what does that mean?
227
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,270
You don't believe me?
No, it's just, are you sure
228
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,272
this isn't, like,
an Olive Garden situation?
229
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,274
Okay, that waitress
definitely hit on me.
230
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,363
What is the Olive Garden?
It's a restaurant
231
00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,930
known for
its endless breadstick baskets.
232
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,629
Alberta and Sass are here.
Oh, hey.
233
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,501
Endless? How is
that even possible?
234
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242
Jay and I ate there
a couple months ago,
235
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,331
and our waitress was refilling
our bread basket...
236
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,289
Yeah, and then I said,
"No, thank you, or I'll eat
237
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,902
'olive' them." Olive.
Olive Garden.
238
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,512
Tonya laughed
for six straight minutes.
239
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,948
Yeah, she works for tips, Jay.
240
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,950
Hey, this is a victory for you.
241
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,910
You have me.
You're living Tonya's dream.
242
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,781
Okay, so,
what exactly did Liz say?
243
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:28,045
She said all she could think
about was grabbing my butt.
244
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,830
Mm. That little thing?
245
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,528
Wait, seriously?
She did hit on you.
246
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,964
That's insane.
Do we
247
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,487
tell Kenny?
Because if we tell Kenny,
248
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,664
then this wedding
probably gets called off, right?
249
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,013
Liz was gonna post about it.
250
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,449
This was gonna put us
on the map.
251
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,016
But we got to tell him, right?
252
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,626
Yes.
253
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,629
Ugh, why do you have to be
so damn irresistible?
254
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,023
Sorry. It's a curse.
255
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,503
Hey, guys.
256
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,984
What's wrong, Samantha?
257
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,943
It has been a day.
258
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,119
Tell me about it.
259
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,164
I cannot believe
Elias is back.
260
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,298
Till death do us part.
It's right in the vows.
261
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,996
So, why'd you have
a bad day, Samantha?
262
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,781
Well, the bride hit on Jay,
263
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,783
and now Kenny's probably gonna
call the whole thing off.
264
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,262
What?
Wait, seriously?
265
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,829
Now she's not gonna post
pictures of the mansion,
266
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,570
and we're not even gonna
get paid for the wedding.
267
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,920
We're, like, this close to
defaulting on our loan.
268
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,095
Samantha,
269
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,314
what are you saying?
270
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,359
Okay, I hadn't
told you guys,
271
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,318
but if we don't start
making money soon,
272
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,015
we could lose the house.
273
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:28,279
No, you cannot leave us!
274
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,107
Just when I finally learned
to look beyond the hideous pants
275
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,675
and see the wonderful person
inside the hideous pants.
276
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,851
You think I want to leave?
I don't know what to do.
277
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,636
I have it. Solution.
278
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,768
You and small man
kill yourselves.
279
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,249
Become ghosts.
And then we are friends forever.
280
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,990
But they might not
actually become ghosts.
281
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,732
Right, that's the
problem with that plan.
282
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,995
Hello, all. Get
your spatterdashes
283
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,171
off my table. I
had it upholstered
284
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,868
with the hide
of a white rhinoceros
285
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,565
I shot in Kenya.
286
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,480
Oh, my God.
Those are extinct now.
287
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,569
Really? We got 'em all?
Bully for us.
288
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,875
Man, he is evil.
289
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,616
And I used to pillage
for a living.
290
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,227
Oh! That thing ran
291
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:06,578
through my leg. Skin that beast
and turn it into a table.
292
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,450
Must everything
be a table?
293
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,495
Well, he's
294
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,628
really interested
in that teddy bear.
295
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,891
Ah! Look at the little guy go.
296
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,677
Good boy. Yes, use your hips.
297
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,114
One walk through you and the dog
becomes a sex pervert.
298
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,724
Can't say I'm surprised.
299
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,075
Wait, Elias, did you walk
through any Livings today?
300
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,990
Like the bride, to be specific?
301
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,037
Yes, in fact, I did accidentally
happen through her. Why?
302
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,300
That's it. That's
why Liz hit on Jay.
303
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:34,824
Your ghost power is
that when people--
304
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,173
or animals, apparently--
305
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,001
walk through you,
they get horny.
306
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,394
Really?
307
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,787
Okay, I know he's
controversial,
308
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,789
but that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
309
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,312
It wasn't Liz's fault at all.
310
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,879
She didn't mean to hit on Jay.
311
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,837
I've got to stop
Jay telling Kenny.
312
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,709
Well,
313
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,188
I hope you're happy.
314
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,190
You nearly ruined
this wedding.
315
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,844
Those two
are hemorrhaging cash.
316
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,367
They need this
to be a success.
317
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,195
You're saying those Livings
need this wedding
318
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,806
to go off without a hitch,
319
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,111
otherwise they'll
be leaving?
320
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,634
Yes, that's exactly
what I'm saying.
321
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,375
Hmm.
322
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,768
Why is he
literally twirling
323
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,943
his mustache?
324
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,771
It can't be good.
325
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,470
Kenny, hey.
326
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,734
I've been looking all over for you.
What's up, buddy?
327
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,692
I don't know how to say this.
Um...
328
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,869
Okay, y-you know how I'm always
getting hit on by random women?
329
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,002
Is this about
the Cheesecake Factory waitress?
330
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,656
There's an entire factory
dedicated to cheesecake?
331
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,224
It's as amazing as it sounds.
Wow.
332
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,661
No, it's not about her.You know,
she probably writes
333
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,098
"thank you"
with the little heart-shaped Os
334
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,056
on every receipt.
She works for tips.
335
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,059
Uh, Jay, can I just,
uh, grab you for a sec?
336
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,105
Actually, Kenny and I
were just about to have
337
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,934
a difficult conversation.
We were?
338
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,632
Well, no difficult conversations
are needed,
339
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,373
because everything
is actually okay.
340
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,374
Oh, hey,
341
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,636
it's the Monopoly guy.
342
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,159
What are you
talking about, Sam?
343
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,421
I'm talking
about the fact that...
344
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,467
Criminy.
345
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,686
Oh,
346
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,471
what are you doing, man?
347
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,515
Just spreading
a little love.
348
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,343
Aw, that's sweet.
349
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,824
You two are looking good.
350
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,348
Very good.
351
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,134
Jay? What's going on?
352
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,831
I haven't seen Sam
this worked up
353
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,964
since she saw
that movie The Holiday on TV.
354
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,097
Sam?
Damnation!
355
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,882
You can't just walk
through people.
356
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,144
It's the greatest
pain there is.
357
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,362
Well, actually...
358
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,363
Yes, yes, we know.
Okay.
359
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,452
Well, hello, you two.
360
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,716
Did you leave the oven on?
Or is it just getting...
361
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,370
hot in here?
362
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,808
Well, enjoy the show.
363
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,331
Hey, Kenny,
364
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,333
didn't you say you didn't have
a bachelor party?
365
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,858
Well, how about we have
a little party right here?
366
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,729
What?
I could be Cameron Diaz,
367
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:41,124
and you two could be
a couple of Jude Laws.
368
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,473
Okay, that was not in the movie.
369
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,823
What is that?
370
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,433
Did you just meow at me?
371
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:48,175
What are you doing?
What's going on?
372
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,437
I don't think I'm tall enough
to be Jude Law.
373
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,091
Liz. Liz. Liz!
374
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,310
Oh.
375
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,357
What happened?
I feel like I just blacked out.
376
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,228
Me, too. I-I have
the strangest urge
377
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,577
to watch a Nancy
Meyers movie.
378
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,579
Kenny? What's happening?
379
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,972
These two
380
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,932
just propositioned
me for a threesome.
381
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324
They what?
382
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,586
We what?
383
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,153
It was Elias.
384
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,894
Oh, God.
385
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,853
Uh, there's got to be
some kind of misunderstanding.
386
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,813
No. No. Uh, we did
proposition Kenny, actually.
387
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,946
What?
Babe.
388
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,730
As a test
of your faithfulness.
389
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,906
And guess what. You passed.
390
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:27,257
Yep, you passed. Flying colors.
I'm sorry,
391
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,260
you two tried to have sex
with my Kenny
392
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,001
the day before my wedding?
393
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,655
No. No, God, no.
394
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,700
Oh, my God, no,
I would not have sex with Kenny.
395
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,006
But you guys
396
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,530
should definitely have sex
with each other.
397
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,924
Okay, this is too weird.
398
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:45,623
Uh, disgusting. We will not be
having our wedding here.
399
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,365
No, no, no, don't leave.
What about the squab?
400
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,453
The squab!
401
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,591
You know, a bake sale's
a quick way to earn some cash.
402
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,376
O-Our troop once raised $78
in one week.
403
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,770
Thanks, Pete.
What's happening?
404
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:05,034
The ghosts are pitching ways
for us to make money.
That's sweet.
405
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,254
Any viable ideas?
I have a plan.
406
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,082
But it only works
if you have a Tommy gun.
407
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,648
Not really.
408
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,476
Here's what you do.
You go to New York.
409
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,348
You look up this guy I know.
He's gonna double your money.
410
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,784
His name, Bernie Madoff.
411
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,133
Miracle worker.
412
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,483
I robbed a bank once,
if that helps.
413
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,963
Did I ever tell you guys
414
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,791
about that?
415
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,097
I don't think we're gonna
get out of this mess, Sam.
416
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533
We're up to our
ears in debt.
417
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,317
This house is
our only asset.
418
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,450
I think we're gonna
have to sell.
419
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,670
Aw, are the poors
gonna have to leave?
420
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,281
That didn't take long.
421
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,457
I'd tell you exactly how long,
422
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,676
but unfortunately
this thing doesn't work anymore.
423
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,983
You'd think, for $5,000,
424
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,593
it would last
into the afterlife.
425
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:46,075
You spent $5,000
on a watch?!
426
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,859
Wait a minute.
427
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,775
If Elias has that valuable
timepiece on his ghostly person,
428
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,603
that must mean...The real watch
429
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,170
must be on his corpse.
430
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,129
What about a corpse?
431
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:59,219
Babe, I need you
to do me a quick favor.
432
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,527
Yeah, I don't think
I can do this.
433
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:04,789
It's looking right at me.
434
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,052
Babe, he's not
looking at you.
435
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,054
His eyes are little,
withered husks.
436
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,360
That is not having the calming
effect that you want it to.
437
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,493
Okay.
438
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,973
Okay.
439
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,496
Oh.
440
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,019
I know what pocket
he kept it in,
441
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,717
but I confess,
I'm enjoying this.
442
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,893
Guys?
443
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,939
We got it.
Yes!
444
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,029
All right! I bet that's worth a
pretty penny in today's dollars.
445
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,204
Definitely enough
to keep the bank
446
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,553
off our backs
for a few months.
447
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,555
Take that, bank.
Yes, I'm sure the bank
448
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,167
will be very hurt that you're
making timely payments.
449
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,647
So, this means you're
not selling the house?
No, Sass,
450
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,432
we're staying.
We have a few more months
451
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,737
to get the business
up and running.
452
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,827
Well, I am
very happy about that.
453
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,264
Oh, look, Elias,
454
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,657
another opinion.
And nothing you can do about it.
455
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,747
You think this is over?
That I'm just going to give up?
456
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,358
As long as I'm here,
457
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:52,750
they will never host a wedding
458
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,622
that I don't turn
into an all-out orgy.
459
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,493
So just normal wedding?
460
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,365
And I won't stop there.
Whatever they host,
461
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,062
I'll make it horny.
462
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,064
Funeral? Horny.
463
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,674
High tea? Horny.
464
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:07,417
Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest.
465
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,071
Is this starting to sound good
to anybody else?
466
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,507
Why are you doing this?
467
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,509
Because I want
you Livings out of here.
468
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,555
You have corrupted my Hetty.
469
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,427
No! I haven't been corrupted.
470
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,473
I have changed. A little.
471
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,693
For the better, I think.
Let's be honest.
472
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:25,479
Elias, you and I
were not good people.
473
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,133
We stole. We exploited.
474
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,396
We profited
off of others' misery.
475
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,875
We did have fun.
476
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,573
But while you were trapped
in that vault,
477
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,444
I have been out here.
478
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,707
Learning from these people.
479
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,841
Learning from Alberta
to speak my mind
480
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,364
and learning from Sam
481
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,192
that the Irish are people, too,
apparently.
482
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,455
She says it, but I don't think
she believes it.
Yes,
483
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,109
I complain about being here.
484
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,503
And yes, I do want to be
sucked off more than anything.
485
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:52,984
But these people have taught me
how to be a better Hetty.
486
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,553
And I say there's hope
for you, too,
487
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,120
Elias.
488
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,643
You're here for eternity.
489
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,081
Why not use it to change?
490
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,345
I don't need to be
a better person.
491
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,173
There is no good or evil.
492
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,305
That's just a story
we tell ourselves.
493
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,741
And I know better.
494
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,701
So, Hetty,
get this through your tiny,
495
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,921
inferior female brain.
496
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:20,316
I will never change.
497
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,972
Well, then, you can go to hell.
498
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,284
Whoa!
499
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,502
Oh, my God!
500
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,025
He just went down on us.
501
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,592
I didn't know
that could happen.
502
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,072
Yeah, I don't love
having to worry about that.
503
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,422
Did I... Did I just...?
504
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:42,904
Is that my power, we think?
Banishing people to Hades?
505
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,601
Or it was him just yelling
he was never gonna change
506
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,342
and basically thumbing his nose
at the universe.
507
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,691
That's another possibility.
508
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,215
Well, we should try it out.
509
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,390
Trevor, go to hell.
510
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,522
Why?! Why?! Why?!
511
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,916
Why?! Why would you pick me?!
What is wrong with you?!
512
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,005
Guess not.
513
00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,139
That was so scary.
Oh, calm down.
514
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,189
I mean, this is
just a big day
515
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,582
in terms of ghost rules.
516
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,061
So, the floor opens up,
517
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,541
and this guy falls through
right in front of you?
518
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,282
That's incredible.
519
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,458
Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful
about this new horror
520
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:16,807
we all have hanging
over our heads.
521
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,200
You got to tell me
how it happened. I mean,
522
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,246
was it hot? Was there screaming?
523
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,943
Was country music playing?
524
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,510
Well, there was screaming,
525
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,077
but I'm pretty sure that
was just from our ghosts.
526
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:28,210
Thor not scream.
Thor not scared
527
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,778
of some silly hole
in the ground.
528
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,084
Because Thor working
towards being better person.
529
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,217
Very open to change.
530
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,915
It all happened so fast. It was,
like, this red light, suddenly,
531
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,134
and then whoosh.
532
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,744
Mm! He went down on us.
533
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,442
Alberta, I'm not sure
that's the best term...
534
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,183
What? If that's
the term that she wants to use,
535
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,619
then she can do it.
536
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,403
Hello, all.
537
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,405
I'm feeling in a good mood,
538
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:53,104
so you may all remain
on this earthly plane tonight.
539
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,932
So funny.
540
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,457
Hetty just came in, joking about
trying to send Trevor to hell.
541
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,459
Aw, too soon, Hetty.
542
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:03,245
Trevor, I told you,
I knew it wasn't going to work.
543
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,247
I don't actually have
that power.
544
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,553
Or do I?
545
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,381
Thorfinn, you're in my seat.
546
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,600
Moving! Yes.
547
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,866
Wasn't comfortable there,
anyways.
36941
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof