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1
00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,899
[ Typewriter clacking ]
Ted: "Dolphins are man's...
2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,307
best friend...
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,980
not dogs.
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,648
Your killing
the corral reefs...
[ Rattling ]
5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:15,219
...with bad chem-- chemicals."
[chem-icals]
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,679
Uh, don't quote me,
but I think you want
7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,047
"U-apostrophe-R-E"
on that, Ted.
8
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,217
It's not the possessive.
9
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,764
It's none of your beeswax,
Cliff.
10
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,729
It's one "R" in coral, too.
You're spelling it "corral."
11
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,058
What, are you
trying to save...
[ Typewriter dings ]
12
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,604
...a dude ranch or something?
[ Laughs ]
13
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,698
It's about
saving the reef.
14
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:29,729
Yeah, okay.
All right.
15
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,273
Hey, Ted, what's up?
Gary!
16
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,499
You got any white-out?
17
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,833
No, I do not.
[ Sighs ]
18
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,167
Satan wants you
in the conference room.
19
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,243
Did you not get
the e-mail?
20
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,570
[ Laughs ]
Are you kidding?
21
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,265
He doesn't
read e-mails, Gary.
22
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,767
He doesn't even have
an e-mail account.
23
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,378
You don't tell me
what to do.
24
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,740
Why don't you grab
your buddy Cliff there,
25
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,207
'cause Satan wants
him there, too, so --
26
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,676
I don't trust him.
27
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,424
He's -- He's not
a regular man.
28
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,420
I don't care.
29
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,252
Satan: I mean, technically,
it is organic.
30
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,787
[ Indistinct conversations ]
The yuppies lap that shit up.
31
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,263
I guess, you know,
you could --
[ Door opens ]
32
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,261
And here he is.
33
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:02,203
[ Cheers and applause ]
34
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,370
[ Laughter ]
35
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,928
Come on in here.
36
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,236
Listen, I know
you -- you hate attention
37
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,599
and you crave
your privacy,
38
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,237
so we're gonna give you
lots of attention
39
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,612
and take away
your privacy.
40
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,410
We have a roast in Ted's honor,
gentlemen.
41
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,782
[ All cheer ]
42
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,449
**
43
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,309
Does anybody
recognize this?
44
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,548
[ Video tape clicks ]
45
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,952
Gary: That's
the Tree Huger Bomber.
46
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,153
He was bombing people
who made trees huger, or --
47
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,917
Ted: It's "hugger."
Tree hugger.
48
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,755
No, no,
that's correct, Gary.
49
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,630
This was
the Tree Huger Bomber,
50
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,959
the semi-literate
eco-terrorist from the '80s.
51
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,934
The one and only Ted!
[ All exclaiming ]
52
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:36,963
No way!
Yes!
53
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,267
All: [ Chanting ]
Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!
54
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,470
-Yeah, you suck!
-[ Laughs ]
55
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,902
I put together
a little highlight reel
56
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,466
of Ted's
important environmental work
57
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,635
for the, uh,
trees and the birds
58
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,814
and the dolphins
and the flowers.
[ Laughter ]
59
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,412
Watch this!
Here we go!
60
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,654
Whoa-ho!
[ Wacky music playing ]
61
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,449
"Yore killing
the turtles."
62
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,652
"Yore"?
Like -- Like in "days of yore"?
63
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,454
We don't have any turtles.
64
00:01:58,486 --> 00:01:59,986
[ Laughter ]
65
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,520
[ Explosion ]
66
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,955
[ Laughter ]
67
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,760
Ted: I know you're not big
into swimming,
68
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,132
but if you was
to get in the water
69
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,500
with one of them dolphins
70
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,658
and swim around
with them a little bit...
71
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,026
[ Beeping ]
...I'll tell you,
72
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,703
you'd love them just like I --
Scruffles, no!
73
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,132
[ Explosion, glass shattering ]
74
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,137
[ Laughter ]
75
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,969
Cliff: He's so stupid.
76
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,514
You're the only one
that truly understands me.
77
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,841
I can talk to you
about my theories, and --
78
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,846
Wait.
79
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:28,518
Angela,
you're a married woman.
80
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,649
[ Grunts ]
81
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,524
[ Laughter, heckling ]
82
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:40,325
**
83
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,701
[ Laughter, heckling continue ]
84
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:43,700
This is getting real.
85
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,731
Dirty!
Yeah.
86
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,125
This is getting dirty!
87
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,566
[ Laughter ]
88
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:53,673
[ Disturbing music playing ]
89
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,208
[ Chuckles ]
Ain't nothing better
90
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,214
than a homemade acorn pie.
91
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,376
[ Laughter ]
92
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,883
Ooh.
Mmm!
93
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,324
[ Choking ]
94
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,051
[ Thump ]
[ Wacky music continues ]
95
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,515
Well, no wonder the FBI
never found you, Ted.
96
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,055
Who'd want to go
in that dump?
97
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,019
[ Laughter ]
98
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,558
All right, listen,
I got, uh -- I got Ted
a little present here.
99
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,704
Man: Oh.
100
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,398
We know how much
you love animals.
101
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,900
I got you a paperweight.
102
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,031
So, we put a little
dolphin head in there for him.
103
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,237
All: Aww!
Isn't that beautiful?
104
00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,739
"Thank you."
Right?
105
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,370
Hey!
Whoa! Whoa!
106
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,535
[ Laughing ]
107
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,773
I got it!
108
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,277
[ Laughter, whooping ]
109
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,740
I would like to read
110
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:35,878
all 2,162 pages
of Ted's manifesto.
111
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:36,916
All: No!
112
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,720
I hope you can read
the fine print!
113
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,292
Whoo!
[ Whirring ]
114
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,691
Man: Make it rain!
115
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,692
Th-That's my only copy!
[ Laughter ]
116
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,795
I have a $2 million bounty
on my head.
117
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,628
How much
are you nerds worth, huh?
118
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,574
Zilch, probably.
119
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,130
Nerds!
120
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,437
[ All groan ]
121
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,139
-You bitch!
-Come on!
122
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,540
-[ Laughing ] Aw.
-Aw.
123
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,942
Well, good party, guys.
Yeah, Gary?
124
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,784
On the invitation,
you said there would be cake,
125
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,050
that the cake would not be made
out of manure or bugs.
126
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,618
There would be chocolate
inside of the cake.
Man: Yeah.
127
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:08,978
It does have
a little chocolate...
Mm-hmm?
128
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,416
...holding the manure
and the bugs together.
129
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,392
Give me
some of that cake.
130
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,491
[ Laughter ]
131
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,662
Man: Yeah, man.
132
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,129
[ Muffled laughter ]
133
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:21,398
Satan: [ Echoing ] Hope you
can read the fine print!
134
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,759
Cliff: He's so stupid!
135
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,566
Elderly Man:
We don't have any turtles.
136
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,628
Gary: Wee-ooh, wee-ooh.
137
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,337
Wee-ooh, wee-ooh.
138
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,469
I'm a police siren.
Really?
139
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,574
Has anyone seen Ted?
140
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,006
No,
not since the roast.
141
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,741
I think we may have been
a little bit hard on him.
142
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,447
There he is.
Ted, my man.
143
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,249
No, I get that a lot.
Different Ted.
144
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,581
Benji?
145
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,987
Yeah.
146
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,418
Troy.
147
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:49,824
Oh, look at this.
Here's one for Gary.
148
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,327
You know me, Ted.
149
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,359
You guys must be
pretty popular.
150
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,934
Should open
those suckers up.
151
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,502
Come on, Ted.
We're sorry about the jokes.
152
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,971
Plus, we know
these are bombs.
153
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:02,169
Mine is a pile of bat turds
with a timer.
154
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,672
[ Timer ticking ]
That's so funny,
'cause so is mine.
155
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,674
You try finding fertilizer
in Hell.
156
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,277
No, that's not --
That's...
157
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,478
[ Sighs ]
I just --
158
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,351
Oh, no,
mine's gonna blow up!
159
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,710
Aah!
160
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,518
Ted.
161
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,550
[ Grunting ]
162
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,187
I'm all alone down here.
163
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,862
You're not alone, Ted.
164
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:27,162
I read your manifesto,
165
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,364
and I think you had a lot
of good ideas in there.
166
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,697
[ Chuckles ]
Not the stuff
167
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,071
about blowing up computers,
of course.
168
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,399
What does it matter?
Satan shredded it, anyway.
169
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,695
I scanned it.
170
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,236
It's right here...
[ Scanning, beep ]
171
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,370
...in my belly.
172
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,636
[ Both laugh ]
173
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,043
And I can spell-check it
for you, too.
174
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,484
You -- You'd do that
for me?
175
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,551
Of course I would.
[ Chuckles ]
176
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,908
What are friends for?
177
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,881
I-Ihave friends.
178
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,246
[ Mellow music playing ]
179
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,093
[ Keyboard clacking ]
180
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,420
That's not how you spell
"bomb making," silly!
181
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,087
[ Both laugh ]
182
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,025
Technology's not so scary
after all, is it?
183
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,561
See?
Bat guano will explode --
184
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,897
if you know
how to mix it.
185
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,072
[ Keyboard clacking ]
186
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,769
It's a label template
with stickers.
187
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,572
Now, doesn't that look
more professional?
188
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,444
Up top! Yes!
Yeah.
189
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,413
I think people are gonna
be really impressed today.
190
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,243
[ Bat screeches,
wings flapping ]
191
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,177
[ Thud ]
192
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,351
[ Panting ]
Thanks, Percy!
193
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,750
[ Explosion ]
194
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,452
Wow. Now, this is how
you address a package.
195
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,915
Ted could really learn
from whoever did this.
196
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,224
Does that package
smell like bat shit?
197
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,916
[ Sniffs ]
198
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,188
[ Gags ]
Oh, yeah.
199
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,696
Don't open it.
200
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,728
No, you know what?
You should open it.
201
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,574
Don't you yell at me.
202
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,599
And where are your arms,
you idiot?
203
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,074
You look dumb.
204
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,912
I may have already won,
and I like those odds.
205
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,308
[ Explosion ]
206
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,539
[ High-pitched ringing ]
[ Muffled ] What was that?
207
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:51,646
Good one.
I can't hear anything.
208
00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,809
[ Mutters indistinctly ]
209
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,418
Moses?
What's that prick want?
210
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,451
[ Rustling ]
211
00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,616
[ Explosion ]
212
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:00,793
Cliff: He opened it!
213
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,491
[ Laughs ]
He got the message.
214
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,563
Oh, my God.
215
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,791
Holy moly!
216
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,425
I may have killed Satan.
217
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,800
[ Chuckles ]
218
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,798
It's getting hot.
We got to lay low.
219
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:13,130
Or lay high.
Topside. Up top.
220
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,466
Know what I mean?
Earth?
221
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:15,972
Well, your body's still
up there, Ted,
222
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,473
frozen in that shack.
223
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,735
If we can get your soul
back up into your body,
224
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,783
there's no limit to the number
of people we can explode.
225
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,850
You're right.
226
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,578
Let's blow
this popsicle stand.
227
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,775
Oh, wait.
We already did.
228
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,817
[ Both laugh ]
229
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,192
Talk-- Talking about Hell.
No, I know.
230
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,690
I-I got what
you were talking about.
231
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,532
[ Banjo music plays ]
232
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,988
Just like I remember it!
233
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,486
One room,
but it's roomy.
234
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,498
Real roomy.
235
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,529
[ Gasps ]
Angela.
236
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,004
You waited.
237
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,602
[ Flies buzzing ]
My tap shoes...
238
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:50,435
[ Chuckles ]
...right there on my dead body.
239
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,540
Hey, try it on.
Let's see how it looks.
240
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,883
[ Cork pops ]
All right.
241
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,705
[ Whooshing, crackling ]
242
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,675
[ Screams ]
243
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,313
[ Farts, grunts ]
244
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,048
Aw, there he is!
245
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,353
Look at this guy!
You're back, baby!
246
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,186
[ Laughs ]
247
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,890
Hey,
you look really good.
248
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,522
I know we don't have
electricity in here,
249
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:15,058
but, Cliff, we'll get you
a phone, get you Wi-Fi.
250
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,155
We can start
bombing people.
251
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,027
Like you taught me --
more professional, you know?
252
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,896
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Turn around, dude.
253
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,704
Let's see
those legs working, huh?
254
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:23,866
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
255
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,514
You and me, man,
we're gonna do it.
256
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,539
[ Disks ejecting ]
257
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,714
[ Screams ]
258
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:28,711
[ Thud ]
[ Grunts ]
259
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,142
Yeah, FBI, please.
260
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,977
Yeah, I have a tip
on the Tree Huger Bomber.
261
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,552
[ Screams, sobs ]
Yeah, is that $2 million reward
still available?
262
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:35,822
[ Cell door closes ]
263
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,019
For my last meal,
264
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,220
I'd like
one freshly-baked acorn --
265
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,423
[ Electricity buzzing ]
[ Grunting ]
266
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,155
**
267
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:48,231
$2 million worth of cocaine
and hookers -- boom, gone!
268
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,001
I had never
tried alcohol before.
269
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,030
Can you believe that?
270
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,034
It's amazing!
[ Laughs ]
271
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,366
But all the solders came loose
on my motherboard,
272
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,672
burned up my hard-drive.
I really did.
273
00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:01,005
That's what happens
when you're bumping
and grinding, you know?
274
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,511
[ Laughs ]
Vegas, baby!
275
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,252
Yeah, sounds like
you had a real wild time.
276
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,778
I did.
I very much did.
277
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,884
[ Keyboard clacking ]
Are you getting this
or what?
278
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,016
Getting what?
279
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,520
The document
I'm sending to you.
280
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,891
Hey, Ted.
281
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,120
Troy, can I have a moment
with your computer?
282
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,955
Hey,
sorry about the shack, man.
283
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,130
My CD-ROM drive's
all wonky.
284
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,759
I'm going to gouge
your eyes out.
285
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:22,755
Aah!
286
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,696
Satan: Hey, Ted.
287
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:25,932
Welcome back, buddy.
288
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,936
Come with me.
I got a new job for you.
289
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,698
I'm coming
for those eyes.
290
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,237
You don't
have the balls.
291
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,872
[ Water splashing,
dolphins squeaking ]
292
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,937
It's a new department
I've started, Ted.
293
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,436
And I want you
to run it for me.
294
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,947
[ Dolphin squeaks ]
295
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,749
Yep.
So, what you have to do
296
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:43,951
is you take a hook and you
slam it into their blowhole.
297
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,794
Take this,
and you cut off their snouts.
298
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,289
Pretty -- Pretty quick.
299
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,790
They're gonna be making lots
of [imitates dolphin]
300
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:49,992
but, trust me,
they're not giggling.
301
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,123
They're
in a lot of pain.
302
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,328
Get 50 of them done
303
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,929
by the end
of the day today,
304
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,231
and then, uh, we'll work
our way up, all right?
305
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,803
Why?
306
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,301
[ Dolphin squealing ]
[ Straining ] Come on, now.
307
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,302
Don't make it harder
on yourself.
308
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,344
I don't want to do it.
I know. I --
309
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,170
[ Gasps ]
310
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,984
[ Dolphin squeaks, purrs ]
311
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,410
I can't cut your nose off.
312
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:17,015
God, you sleek, beautiful,
genius of the sea.
313
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,150
[ Dolphin squeaks ]
314
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,315
[ Water splashes ]
315
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,993
[ Sobs ]
316
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,833
Need a little help?
317
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,788
Guys?
318
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,457
Ted, man, welcome back,
brother.
319
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,295
We missed you.
320
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,659
Well,
what's all this stuff?
321
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,498
We knew you didn't want
to cut off the noses
322
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,372
of those dolphins,
323
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,770
so we're gonna do it
for you.
324
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,343
[ Laughing ] Guys!
325
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,610
And Satan never
said anything
326
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,868
about not sewing
those snouts back on,
327
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:41,978
so what I brought
328
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,039
was a little bit
of sewing thread
329
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,447
and a needle
and some antiseptic.
[ Laughs ]
330
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,849
And what we'll do is
we'll sew the snouts
back on their bodies.
331
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,182
They'll be out in the ocean
dancing and singing
332
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,018
for the rest of
their lives -- naturally.
333
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,123
Satan:
Don't sew the snouts back on!
334
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,515
No, we definitely
won't do that.
335
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,656
I want those dolphins
to bleed out.
336
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,463
Man, his hearing has gotten,
like, way better.
Yeah.
337
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,125
Can I just have
some of the water?
338
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,404
Nope. No water.
339
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,533
Beat it.
340
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,197
[ Water splashing ]
341
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:12,809
Anyway.
You know...
342
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,310
Sorry, dude.
343
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,711
See you guys.
Probably not.
22171
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