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Napisy stworzone ze s艂uchu
by: 艢wierszczyk69
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Specjalnie dla u偶ytkownik贸w
www.pornoonline.com.pl
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00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:17,950
B艂臋dy napewno jakie艣 s膮,
wi臋c mile widziana korekta :)
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00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:21,300
Mi艂ego seansu :)
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00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:26,760
Wi臋cej napis贸w do film贸w XXX tutaj:
https://av-subs.alwaysdata.net/index.php
https://chomikuj.pl/swierszczyk_69
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00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,320
Kontakt:
swierszczyk6969@gmail.com
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00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:42,550
Wicked Comix Prezentuje:
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00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,100
Wyst臋puj膮:
9
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,920
Kapitan Marvel XXX: An Axel Braun Parody
10
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,850
Veers powa偶nie?{Vers seriously}
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00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:05,920
Jest 4:00 nad ranem!{it's 4:00 in the bloody morning}
12
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:12,570
Nie mog艂am spa膰, wi臋c pomy艣la艂am, 偶e zobacz臋,
czy nie masz ochoty na sesj臋 treningow膮.{well i couldn't sleep so i thought i would see if you were down for a sparring session}
13
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:18,650
Po za tym jestem Vers, ty g艂upku!{also it's Vers you dumbass}
14
00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:26,420
Veers to nazwa Genera艂a Imperialnej Armii,
kt贸r膮 dowodzi艂 podczas bitwy o Hoth w Imperium Kontratakuje.{Vers is the name of the imperial army who led the assault on Hoth and the Empire Strikes Back}
15
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,250
Ta, niewa偶ne.
Jebany trening.{yeah well whatever fucking training}
16
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:37,600
- Co艣 Ty powiedzia艂?
- Nic wa偶nego, widzimy si臋 na si艂owni.{what did you say to me see you to gym}
17
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,470
Zn贸w mam dziwne sny.{i bad having weird dreams again}
18
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:51,770
Musisz zwi臋kszy膰 t艂umienie swoich emocji.{you need to lift suppress your emotions}
19
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,520
Co to, kurwa, ma znaczy膰?{what the fuck that supposed to mean}
20
00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:03,250
Jeste艣 wojowniczk膮,
a emocje s膮 bardzo niebezpieczne Veers.{well she's emotions it's very dangerous}
21
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:14,050
Jestem Vers do cholery!
A je艣li chcieli艣cie kogo艣, kto nie okazuje emocji,
powinni艣cie byli obsadzi膰 Brie Larson!{it's Vers god damn it and if you wanted someone that shows no emotion you should have cast Brie Larson}
22
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:23,820
Cholera, po艣lizgn膮艂em si臋.{shit i slipped}
23
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:28,920
Racja, to ja ci臋 gnoj臋
za brak przyzwoitego ameryka艅skiego akcentu.{right do to me blasting you for not being able to pull off a decent American accent}
24
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:34,850
Dobra, a co powiesz na to z ameryka艅skim akcentem.
Hej bracie, co powiesz na nitkowanie z臋b贸w? Zrobi艂em to niedawno.{all right how about this from American accent hey bro how about some flossing i let this the other day}
25
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:43,900
Tak, pami臋taj,
偶e w ka偶dej chwili mo偶esz straci膰 swoj膮 moc foton贸w.{yeah remember you could lose your photons up power at any time}
26
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:47,020
Poniewa偶 pochodzi z tego implantu,
kt贸ry w艂o偶y艂em ci w szyj臋.{since it comes from that implant that i put in your neck}
27
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:57,370
I tak, wygl膮da to bardzo podobnie
do implantu z inhibitorami mocy z Agent贸w Tarczy.{and yes it does look a lot like the power inhibited implant from Agent's of Shield}
28
00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:03,150
Skrzy偶owany z kontrolerem wstrz膮s贸w z Thor: Ragnarok,
ale nie wnikajmy w to.{crossed with the shock controller from Thor:Ragnarok but let's not get into that}
29
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:04,820
Tak, lepiej nie.{yeah that's not}
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00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:13,400
Wi臋c, opowiedz mi o tych snach, co widzia艂a艣?{so tell me about these dreams what did you see}
31
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,700
Niez艂a pr贸ba.{nice try}
32
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:24,700
Nie wiem,
by艂o to co艣 w rodzaju jakiego艣 porno.{i don't know it's like a kind of porn actually}
33
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,250
To powinno wystarczy膰.{it's to be enough uhh}
34
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:36,170
Czy wiesz jak wygl膮da Najwy偶sza Inteligancja?{do you know the supreme intelligence looks like}
35
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Nikt nie wie, jak wyglada Najwy偶sza Inteligencja.
Jest prawdziwa, wiesz o tym, pod艣wiadomo艣膰, kszta艂tuje j膮, wed艂ug naszej wyobra藕ni.{nobody knows that the supreme intelligence looks like it is truthful you know this a subconscious chooses how it appears to us it}
36
00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:52,120
Mo偶e przypomina膰 kogo艣 kogo podziwiasz...{you could resemble someone to major}
37
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:57,300
- ...albo kogo艣 kogo po偶膮dasz.
- Uhhh...{or desire}
38
00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:04,170
Co wyja艣nia艂oby seksualny charakter twoich wizji,
wi臋c powiedz mi...{which would explain the sexual nature of these visions so tell me}
39
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:08,970
- Widzia艂a艣 mnie w swoich snach?
- Och, ale偶 sk膮d.{you see me in your dreams oh not at all actually}
40
00:05:14,370 --> 00:05:16,500
Mam ci臋!{gotcha}
41
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,250
Kontroluj to.{control it}
42
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,600
Nie, ty to kontroluj!{no you control it}
43
00:24:17,820 --> 00:24:20,320
Cholera, to by艂o kurewsko cudowne.{damn, it was bloody marvelous}
44
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:28,270
Chyba nazw臋 ci臋:
Miss Marvel.{i think i'm gonna call you ms. marvel}
45
00:24:28,770 --> 00:24:34,200
- Uhhh...wola艂abym 偶eby艣 tego nie robi艂.
- Wiesz, co masz racj臋.{uh i'd rather you not you know what you're right}
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00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,820
By艂by to zupe艂ny brak szacunku dla twojej rangi.{how be totally disrespectful to your wrench}
47
00:24:38,820 --> 00:24:44,650
A co powiesz na: Kapitan Marvel?{how about captain marvel}
48
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:49,750
- Hmmm...to nawet ca艂kiem nie藕le brzmi.
- O tak?{hmm that doesn't have a nice ring to it yeah}
49
00:24:52,570 --> 00:24:56,970
- Wi臋c, jeste艣 gotowa na jutrzejsz膮 misj臋?
- A czy nie wygl膮dam na gotow膮?{so you're ready for tomorrow's mission don't i look ready}
50
00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:04,950
Tak, wygl膮dasz na gotow膮.{yep you look ready all right}
51
00:25:04,950 --> 00:25:11,120
Ale b臋dziesz zdana na siebie, nie mo偶emy ryzykowa膰,
偶e Skrullowie ci臋 schwytaj膮 i wydob臋d膮 twoje wspomnienia.{but you'll be on your own, we can't risk the Skrulls capturing you, and mine fracking through your memories}
52
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:20,020
- Jak w "Zakochanym bez pami臋ci".
- Prawda, aczkolwiek Jim Carrey by艂 w tym lepszy. {like the Enternal Sunshine of the spotless mind true although Jim Carrey was actually good in that}
53
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:25,400
I czy tylko mi si臋 wydaje,
czy Skrullowie wygl膮daj膮 jak "Maska"?{and is it just me or do the Skrulls kind of look like the mask}
54
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,350
Palacze.{smoking}
55
00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:45,170
Dobra, niewa偶ne co si臋 stanie, nie daj si臋 z艂apa膰, a jak ci臋 z艂api膮,
to nic im nie m贸w, w twoim umy艣le kryje si臋 wiele brudnych sekret贸w.{all right no matter what happens don't get caught and if you do get caught don't tell them anything there's a lot of dirty little secrets hidden in that mind of yours}
56
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:51,050
- Powinna艣 wiedzie膰, umie艣ci艂em je tam.
- Przyj臋艂am, bez emocji.{i mean i should know i put them there copy that no emotion}
57
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:58,200
- Moja dziewczyna.
- My艣l臋, 偶e chcia艂e艣 powiedzie膰 "tak, Kapitanie".{that's my girl i think what you meant to say was yes captain}
58
00:25:58,970 --> 00:26:03,620
- Tak Kapitanie.
- Dobry ch艂opak, teraz...{yes captain that's a good boy now}
59
00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:07,820
...pozw贸l mi skopa膰 dupska kilku Skrullom,
bez odbioru.{let me go kick some Skrull as over and out}
60
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:13,350
Ja z艂apana?
Te ma艂e Zielone Gobliny nigdy tego nie zrobi膮.{me getting caught these little green goblin's could ever}
61
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,800
To jest niedorzeczne!{this is ridiculous}
62
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:49,850
Ta kobieta nie ma 偶adnych emocji.{this woman has no emotion}
63
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:53,000
Ale ma bardzo du偶e piersi.{but she does have curiously large breasts}
64
00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:30,850
Chc臋 偶eby艣cie dali mi ca艂膮 Skrull sperm臋!
Dajcie mi wszystko!{i want you give all of it give me all of it}
65
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,170
Tak, dajcie mi j膮!{yes give me}
66
00:44:34,170 --> 00:44:38,270
Daj mi j膮 z tych cholernych jaj!
Chc臋 wszystko!{do me enough fucking balls i want all of that}
67
00:44:38,270 --> 00:44:39,570
Daj mi!{give me}
68
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:44,820
Pokaza艂am wam troch臋 pieprzonych emocji,
a teraz dajcie mi to, no ju偶, dajcie!{i showed you some fucking emulsion or give me come on give me}
69
00:44:44,820 --> 00:44:50,250
Chc臋 wszystko.
Chc臋 ka偶d膮 kropl臋, no dalej!{all of that every last drop come on}
70
00:44:51,050 --> 00:44:55,700
Chc臋 wszystko!{all of it}
71
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:12,400
Dobra ch艂opcy,
dzi臋ki za podwiezienie, spierdalam st膮d.{all right guys thank you for the ride i'm gonna fuck out here}
72
00:45:15,950 --> 00:45:19,420
Nie mog臋 si臋 ruszy膰!{i can't move}
73
00:45:26,950 --> 00:45:29,620
KAPSU艁A RATUNKOWA{escape pod}
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00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:33,900
Fajnie.{nice}
75
00:45:37,350 --> 00:45:40,120
Jakie to wygodne.{that's convenient}
76
00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:46,200
B艁膭D{fail}
77
00:45:47,950 --> 00:45:49,970
B艁膭D{fail}
78
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:54,950
Tutaj Vers do dow贸dzctwa Star Force, s艂yszycie mnie?{versus star force commands you copy}
79
00:45:55,470 --> 00:45:58,050
- Veers.
- Dobry Bo偶e!{vers good lord}
80
00:45:58,050 --> 00:46:02,650
- Gdzie jeste艣?
- Nie mam poj臋cia, Skrullowie mnie z艂apali.{where are you i have no idea this skrulls captured me}
81
00:46:02,650 --> 00:46:09,900
Uciek艂am i ukrad艂am jedn膮 z ich kapsu艂 ratunkowych,
ale nie mog臋 znale藕膰 cholernej instrukcji obs艂ugi.{i ran away and stole one of their escape pods i just i can't find the goddamn owner's manual}
82
00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:15,500
- Czy wiesz mo偶e jak to pilotowa膰?
- Nie, wybacz Kapitanie.{do you know how to pilot one of these things nope sorry captain}
83
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:27,370
Jeste艣 pewien, czy bierzesz odwet,
bo wci膮偶 boli ci臋 ty艂ek, 偶e nie zagra艂e艣 w Marvelu?{are you sure or are you retaliating because you're still butt hurt you didn't end up playing Marvel}
84
00:46:27,370 --> 00:46:31,700
To absolutna bzdura, wiesz,
偶e zostan臋 ujawniony w sequelu Marvel'a.{absolute nonsense you know i'll be revealed as Marvel in sequel}
85
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:39,720
- Tak, ale zmusili ci臋 do p贸j艣cia na si艂owni臋,
dyndaj膮c przed tob膮 t膮 marchewk膮, wi臋c to jest to.
- Bardzo si臋 mylisz.{yeah, no but they did get you to hit the gym by dangling that carrot in front of you, so there's that. you're sorely mistaken}
86
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:44,350
A po za tym, wygl膮da na to,
偶e zaraz rozbijesz si臋 na planecie E53.{and also it looks like you're about crash on two planets e53}
87
00:46:44,350 --> 00:46:46,350
Hah, jasne. {right}
88
00:46:55,950 --> 00:46:59,420
Ten ma tylko 20 kalorii.{that one's only 20 calories}
89
00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:03,700
Pos艂uchaj mnie, nie po艂ykaj.{listen me don't swallow}
90
00:47:24,970 --> 00:47:27,620
Ani drgnij, jebana suko!{freeze motherfucker}
91
00:47:31,570 --> 00:47:39,050
Czy mnie rozumiesz?
Czy m贸j uniwersalny t艂umacz dzia艂a?{do you understand me is my universal translator working}
92
00:47:39,050 --> 00:47:47,070
Tak, rozumiem Ci臋, wi臋c je艣li Ty rozumiesz mnie....
Podnie艣 kurwa r臋ce do g贸ry!{yeah i understand you well let's see if you understand me put you motherfucking hands in the air}
93
00:47:48,750 --> 00:47:52,650
Dow贸dzctwo Star Force, czy mnie s艂yszycie?{star force command do you copy}
94
00:47:52,900 --> 00:47:58,170
- Huh, niech zgadn臋...
- Ta, ta, nie wa偶ne.{huh let me guess yeah yeah whatever}
95
00:47:58,170 --> 00:48:01,270
Pos艂uchaj,
utkn膮艂am na jakiej艣 idiotycznej planecie.{look i'm stock dumb planet}
96
00:48:01,270 --> 00:48:10,550
Jest tutaj facet, kt贸ry wygl膮da jak Samuel L. Jackson w "Pulp Fiction ".
Mierzy do mnie z jakiego艣 staro偶ytnego blastera.{and there's a guy named that looks like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction excluding some sort of ancient looking blast around me}
97
00:48:11,170 --> 00:48:20,800
- 艢ci膮gnij mnie st膮d Scotty?
- Wybacz Veers, wygl膮da na to, 偶e zabrali ci臋 z kwadrantu
"Epic Space" do kwadrantu "Buddy Cop".{beam me up Scotty sorry Vis it seems like they took you from the epic space movie quadrant over to the buddy cop movie quadrant}
98
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,570
Dotarcie do Ciebie zajmie nam przynajmniej jeden pe艂ny akt.{it's gonna take us at least one full act to get you there}
99
00:48:23,570 --> 00:48:27,720
Postaraj pozosta膰 si臋 w jednym kawa艂ku,
dop贸ki tego nie naprawimy, okej.{please try stay in one piece until we can fix the genere okay}
100
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,670
W mi臋dzyczasie, dlaczego nie pojedziesz do Louisiany? {in the meantime why don't you go to Louisiana}
101
00:48:30,670 --> 00:48:33,700
- Spr贸buj odszuka膰 Mari臋 Rambo.
- Kogo?{try find a Maria Rambo who}
102
00:48:33,700 --> 00:48:36,600
St贸j ty jebana suko!{asses freeze motherfucker}
103
00:48:40,650 --> 00:48:46,370
Wybacz, co to by艂o, kim jest ta Rambo dziewczyna,
i czy Stallone jest w to zamieszany?{sorry what was that who's this Rambo girl and is Stallone involved}
104
00:48:46,370 --> 00:48:50,920
Jest czarnosk贸r膮 dziewczyn膮, kt贸r膮 widzia艂a艣 w swoich snach,
kiedy艣 by艂y艣cie najlepszymi przyjaci贸艂kami.{she's the black girl you've seen your dreams you guys used to be best friends}
105
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:56,250
- Mo偶e nawet co艣 wi臋cej, je艣li mnie o to zapytasz.
- Gdzie j膮 znajd臋?{maybe something a little bit more then that if you ask me where do i find her}
106
00:48:56,250 --> 00:49:02,270
Skrullowie szukali wsp贸艂rz臋dnych do domu w twoim m贸zgu,
wi臋c my艣l臋, 偶e ju偶 wiesz, gdzie masz si臋 uda膰.{the Scrulls were looking for coordinates to a house in your brain so i guess you already know where to go}
107
00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:08,050
W porz膮dku, zrobi臋 szybkie rozeznanie
i poprosz臋 mojego nowego,...{fine i'll just do a quick cerebral search and get my new}
108
00:49:08,050 --> 00:49:12,620
...niedopasowanego partnera,
kt贸ry mnie tam zawiezie.{mismatched partner to drive me there}
109
00:49:19,070 --> 00:49:23,350
Mam to.
Hej, kolego, jak masz na imi臋?{got it yo buddy what's your name again}
110
00:49:23,350 --> 00:49:28,070
Fury.
Nicholas Joseph Fury.{fury Nicholas Joseph fury}
111
00:49:28,070 --> 00:49:33,650
Dobra Fury'ies.
B臋d臋 ci臋 potrzebowa艂a, 偶eby艣 pom贸g艂 mi znale藕膰 moj膮 najlepsz膮 przyjaci贸艂k臋.{all right furious i'm gonna need you to help me find my best friend}
112
00:49:33,650 --> 00:49:38,570
Pom贸c tobie?!
W艂a艣nie strzeli艂a艣 mi w oko, kosmiczna dziewczyno!{help you you just one galactic on my eyes a space lady}
113
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:44,020
- Nawet nie znam twojego imienia.
- Tak samo jak ja.{i don't even know your name neither do i actually}
114
00:49:44,020 --> 00:49:50,100
Nazywaj膮 mnie Vers, ale podejrzewam,
偶e jest w tym co艣 wi臋cej ni偶 tylko pozory.{they call me Vers but let's suspect there's more to that than meets the eye}
115
00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:55,470
Nie zamierzona gra s艂贸w.
Chyba mo偶esz mnie nazywa膰...{no pun intended i guess you could call me}
116
00:49:55,470 --> 00:49:59,070
- ...Kapitan Marvel.
- Pewnie.{captain marvel sure}
117
00:49:59,070 --> 00:50:06,550
- Jeste艣 Kapitanem?
- Pos艂uchaj, ostatnio miewam naprawd臋 dziwne sny.{you a captain look i've been having these really weird dreams lately}
118
00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:13,050
Mam wra偶enie,
偶e po艂owa istnie艅 we wszech艣wiecie zostanie wkr贸tce wymazana.{i have this feeling half the universe is about to be wiped out}
119
00:50:13,050 --> 00:50:16,070
Tak po prostu.{just like that}
120
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:23,550
Naprawd臋 potrzebuj臋 twojej pomocy, Fury'ies,
nie mamy zbyt wiele czasu.{i really need your help Fury we don't have much time}
121
00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:29,100
Jestem Fury,
i b臋dziesz potrzebowa艂a odpowiednich ubra艅.{it's Fury and you're gonna need some proper clothes}
122
00:50:29,100 --> 00:50:33,320
Tak, a ty b臋dziesz potrzebowa艂 strzy偶enia
oraz opaski na oko.{yeah and you're gonna need a haircut in the eyepatch}
123
00:51:03,450 --> 00:51:08,620
Wi臋c, mo偶e i masz statek kosmiczny,
ale ja za to mam w艂oski samoch贸d sportowy.{so you may have a spaceship but i got me an italian sports car}
124
00:51:13,650 --> 00:51:16,770
艁adny.
(Co to kurwa jest?){nice}
125
00:51:27,100 --> 00:51:31,820
- Wi臋c, dok膮d mamy si臋 uda膰?
- 29.951100 N{so where are we going 29.9511 N}
126
00:51:31,820 --> 00:51:36,670
- 90.071500 W
- A wsp贸艂rz臋dne.{90.0715 W ah coordinates}
127
00:51:36,670 --> 00:51:41,600
C贸偶, oto m贸j GPS.{well here is my gps}
128
00:51:49,770 --> 00:51:52,400
Oraz tw贸j lunch.{and here is your lunch}
129
00:51:53,350 --> 00:51:57,300
Cholera, wiedzia艂em,
偶e gdzie艣 go zostawi艂em.{shit i knew i left this somewhere}
130
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:04,300
To jeden z najlepszych burger贸w.{now this is one tasty burger}
131
00:52:08,170 --> 00:52:12,820
- Wygl膮da na to, 偶e to miejsce nazywa si臋 Nowy Orlean.
- Co takiego, Nowy Orlean?{looks like this place called New Orleans what Nova}
132
00:52:13,250 --> 00:52:17,770
Odbi艂o ci, kurwa?!
To jakie艣 3.000 mil st膮d!{are you out of your motherfucking mind that's three thousand miles away from here}
133
00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:23,800
Nie martw si臋 Fury'ies,
uprzyjemni臋 ci jazd臋.{don't worry Fury i'll make the ride enjoyable for you}
134
00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:00,550
Nie rozbij auta, Fury'ies.{don't crash the car fury}
135
00:53:02,950 --> 00:53:04,750
Fury.{i feel great}
136
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:44,750
Narobi艂e艣 tutaj ma艂y ba艂agan.{you made a mess there}
137
00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:51,320
- Jed藕 dalej.
- Pr贸buj臋.{keep driving i try}
138
00:59:53,820 --> 00:59:56,550
Zn贸w?
O nie.{again oh no}
139
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:22,620
To dopiero by艂o wyczerpuj膮ce.{now that was exhausted}
140
01:00:24,650 --> 01:00:29,520
Uprzed藕 mnie nast臋pnym razem,
jakbym chcia艂a to zrobi膰 ponownie.{call me about it, if you made join anymore}
141
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,170
Pracujesz z po艣wi臋ceniem, mam racj臋?{did you soul work right}
142
01:00:32,170 --> 01:00:35,070
A...jasne.{sure}
143
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:49,620
Oto i ona.
Wygl膮da na to, 偶e to ca艂e dmuchanie w ko艅cu przywr贸ci艂o ci pami臋膰.{there she is seems like all that blowing finally jog her memory}
144
01:01:49,620 --> 01:01:53,270
- Hmmm...
- Wiem o czym my艣lisz.{hmm i know it you're thinking}
145
01:01:53,270 --> 01:01:58,450
Gdzie jest gramofon
i dlaczego nie pu艣ci艂e艣 "Come As You Are" Nirvany?{where's the record player and why didn't you play come as you are by Nirvana}
146
01:01:58,450 --> 01:02:05,600
C贸偶, moja droga, poniewa偶 nikogo nie obchodzi艂o to g贸wno co jest na winylu w 1990 roku, kiedy to rzekomo opu艣ci艂a艣 Ziemi臋.{well my dear that's because nobody gave a shit about vinyl in 1990 which is the year you allegedly left with hay}
147
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:12,220
A je艣li tak, to wyszed艂 w '91,
wi臋c nie ma mowy, 偶eby艣 pami臋ta艂a go w swojej g艂owie.{and come if you are, came out in 91 so there's no fucking way that you've been in your brain}
148
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:18,070
W艂a艣ciwie zastanawiam si臋 tylko,
dlaczego w trzecim akcie zmieni艂am kolor?{actually i'm just wondering why i turned a different color in the the third act}
149
01:02:18,070 --> 01:02:26,650
Ach to, c贸偶, fani oszaleli, kiedy zobaczyli zdj臋cia Brie Larson w zielonym kostiumie.{oh that well the fans went ballistic when since that pictures of Bree Larson we're in the green costume leaves}
150
01:02:26,650 --> 01:02:33,150
Nie jestem pewna, czy chodzi o kolor,
czy o to, 偶e nie mia艂a ty艂ka, ale uwierz mi....{i mean i'm not sure if it was the color or the fact that she had no ass but trust me}
151
01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:38,200
Zrobili艣my wiele eksperyment贸w,
po prostu udawaj, 偶e ca艂y czas masz czerwono-niebieski kostium.{we've done plenty of refute sentences just pretend the red and blue cross them with the plan all along}
152
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:43,770
Ahhh...to nie jest film kinowy,
a ja nie jestem Brie Larson.{ahh this is not the mainstream movie and i'm not Bree Larson}
153
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:51,870
Okej, zielony kostium by艂 zmor膮 zielonego ekranu.
Zadowolona?{okay the green costume was a nightmare without it's green screen happy now}
154
01:02:51,870 --> 01:02:57,100
Tak, ma to troch臋 wi臋cej sensu,
ale kim ty kurwa jeste艣?{yeah that makes more sense but who the fuck are you}
155
01:02:57,100 --> 01:03:03,170
My艣la艂am, 偶e b臋dziesz mi przypomina膰 kogo艣,
kogo podziwiam.{i thought you were supposed to resemble somebody i admire}
156
01:03:03,900 --> 01:03:10,050
- Albo...
- Co? Po偶adam?{or what desire}
157
01:03:10,050 --> 01:03:16,500
Bez obrazy, jeste艣 艂adna i w og贸le,
ale mnie kr臋c膮 kutasy.{look no offense you're pretty and all but i'm really into dick}
158
01:03:16,500 --> 01:03:18,900
Naprawd臋?{really now}
159
01:03:22,170 --> 01:03:23,920
O tym m贸wi艂am.{now we're talking}
160
01:13:32,900 --> 01:13:34,770
Co do kurwy, dziewczyno?!{the fuck girl}
161
01:13:37,100 --> 01:13:40,450
Wybacz, zakr臋ci艂o mi si臋 w g艂owie na moment.{sorry i got lightheaded for a moment}
162
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:48,750
- Wszystko w porz膮dku
- Tak s膮dz臋.{you alright i think so}
163
01:13:53,670 --> 01:13:57,900
- Wi臋c, to jest to miejsce?
- Tak, to jest zdecydowanie to miejsce.{so is this the place yeah this is definitely the place}
164
01:13:57,900 --> 01:14:02,920
- To dobrze, bo przyda艂aby mi si臋 drzemka i bidet.
- Co takiego?{good because i could use me a nap and bidet oh what}
165
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:07,700
Bidet, to po francusku "myjka".{a bidet it's french for a swash}
166
01:14:07,700 --> 01:14:12,720
Hej, wiesz, jak nazywaj膮 膰wier膰funt贸wk臋 z serem we Francji?{hey you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in France}
167
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:33,100
Przepraszam pani膮, ale zastanawia艂em si臋, czy mo偶emy zapyta膰...
Ahhh...ty kurwo!{excuse me ma'ma i was wondering we could ask you ah motherfucker}
168
01:14:33,100 --> 01:14:37,770
Jezu, kurwa, Chryste, ile razy jeszcze b臋dziecie
tu przychodzi膰 i pods艂uchiwa膰 mnie?{jesus fucking christ how many times are you guys gonna come up here and bug the shit out of me}
169
01:14:37,770 --> 01:14:41,870
Nie chc臋 dyskutowa膰 o twoim 艣wi臋tym s艂owie.
Lubi臋 mie膰 transfuzje przez ca艂y czas.{I don't wanna discuss your holy word I like to have transfusions all the time}
170
01:14:41,870 --> 01:14:49,150
I wszyscy mo偶ecie i艣膰 do piek艂a, co jestem pewina, 偶e m贸wi膮 wam to przez
ca艂y dzie艅 i prawdopodobnie dlatego nawet nie my艣licie, 偶e piek艂o istnieje.{and y'all can go to hell which i'm sure you're told all day long and it's probably why you don't even think hell exists whoa}
171
01:14:49,150 --> 01:14:53,370
Uspok贸j si臋,
nie jeste艣my 艢wiadkami Jehowy, przyrzekam.{take it easy why Jehovah's Witness as i promised}
172
01:14:53,370 --> 01:15:01,600
Jestem tylko Amnezyjsk膮 Kapitan Star Force,
kt贸ra ma dziwne, erotyczne sny o tym miejscu.{i'm just an amnesiac Star Forse captain that's a strangely erotic dreams about this place}
173
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:05,420
C贸偶, w porz膮dku, wejd藕cie.{oh okay well come on in}
174
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:23,600
Wow, chyba pami臋tam jak robi艂am to zdj臋cie.{wow i think i actually remember taking this picture}
175
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:27,450
Naprawd臋?
A pami臋tasz te?{oh really do you remember taking these}
176
01:15:37,220 --> 01:15:42,220
Uhhh...jeste艣 pewna,
偶e nie jeste艣 Maria Roombo?{ooh are you sure you're not Maria Roomba}
177
01:15:44,400 --> 01:15:52,820
Tak jak ju偶 m贸wi艂am cycuszku.
Maria to moja mama, kt贸ra nie 偶yje.
Ja jestem Monica, Mo-ni-ca.{like i said before sugar tits Maria is my mama she did i'm Monica monica}
178
01:15:53,870 --> 01:15:59,520
Cholera,
ci膮gl臋 zostaj臋 z tymi wszystkimi pytaniami bez odpowiedzi.{shit i'm gonna be left with all these unanswered questions}
179
01:15:59,520 --> 01:16:07,100
Kim jestem?
Dlaczego m贸j sygna艂 rozpoznawczy Air Force to Avenger,
skoro w komiksach by艂 Cheesburger?{who am i why is my airforce callsign Avenger when in the comics it was cheeseburger}
180
01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:11,720
I czy nie powinnam mie膰 jakiego艣 bosto艅skiego akcentu?{and listen i supposed to have some sort of Boston accent}
181
01:16:18,650 --> 01:16:22,750
My艣l臋, 偶e mam dla ciebie odpowiedzi.
Cho膰my na zewn膮trz.{i think i get answers for you it's coulson}
182
01:16:33,570 --> 01:16:42,020
- Pos艂uchaj, jest kilka rzeczy o kt贸rych ci nie powiedzia艂am.
- Naprawd臋, ty i wszyscy innni.{listen there's some things i haven't told you oh really you and everybody else}
183
01:16:42,020 --> 01:16:49,800
Sekrety, k艂amstwa, obrz臋dy,
wpajano mi do g艂owy.{secrets lies ordinance any climate in my head}
184
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:55,220
Jestem cholernie zm臋czona tymi rzeczami.{i'm fucking tired of this stuff}
185
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:05,750
- Nie, czekaj, pos艂uchaj...
- Nie, to ty pos艂uchaj!
Czy wiesz jak to jest by膰 odrzucon膮 przez sw贸j w艂asny gatunek, poniewa偶 jeste艣 inna!{no wait listen no you listen do you know what it feels like to be rejected by your own kind because you're different}
186
01:17:05,750 --> 01:17:12,920
Czujesz, 偶e nie wystarczasz, poniewa偶 nigdy nie b臋dziesz w stanie dopasowa膰 si臋 do wyidealizowanej przez ciebie wersji!{feeling like you're not enough because you'll never measure up to whatever idealized version of you they fabricated}
187
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:17,970
By膰 ok艂amywan膮 i oszukiwan膮
i nigdy nie wiedzie膰 dlaczego!{being used lied to cheated on and never knowing why}
188
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:29,000
Sp贸jrz na mnie,
nie mam wspomnie艅, 偶adnego celu, 偶adnych emocji.{look at me i have no memory no purpose no emotion}
189
01:17:31,020 --> 01:17:36,050
Przepraszam Monica,
mam nadziej臋, 偶e nigdy nie b臋dziesz musia艂a wiedzie膰, jak to jest.{i'm sorry monica i hope you never have to know what this feels like}
190
01:17:40,620 --> 01:17:44,200
Czy ty...czy ty p艂aczesz?{are you are you crying}
191
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:48,900
Tak, p艂acz臋 do cholery i krzycz臋 r贸wnie偶!!!{yes'm crying god damn it no screaming too}
192
01:17:48,900 --> 01:17:53,400
Jak inaczej mam zdoby膰 nominacj臋
do nagrody dla najlepszej aktorki?{how else am i supposed to get fucking a best actress nomination}
193
01:17:55,870 --> 01:17:57,900
Racja?{right}
194
01:17:59,250 --> 01:18:07,350
W ka偶dym razie, by艂 to rutynowy lot w Nowym Orleanie,
by艂am kapitanem statku.{anyways i was lieutenant in the New Orleans Harbor Patrol and i was captain of their cargo ship}
195
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:13,900
Zdarzy艂 si臋 wypadek,
zosta艂am wystawiona na dzia艂anie energii pozawymiarowej.{there was an accident i was exposed to extra dimensional energy}
196
01:18:13,900 --> 01:18:18,150
W rezultacie tego mog臋 przekszta艂ci膰 swoje cia艂o w energi臋.{as a result i can convert my body into energy}
197
01:18:20,970 --> 01:18:30,000
- Wi臋c, chcesz przez to powiedzie膰, 偶e jeste艣 cholern膮 Superbohaterk膮.
- Bo jestem.{so what are you saying you're some type of superhero damn right i'm}
198
01:18:34,770 --> 01:18:39,020
Nazywaj膮 mnie...Kapitan Marvel{they call me Captain Marvel}
199
01:18:40,970 --> 01:18:46,100
Ahhh...my艣l臋, 偶e b臋dziemy mie膰 ma艂y problem.{ahh i think we're gonna have a problem here}
200
01:18:46,100 --> 01:18:51,870
- To ja jestem Kapitan Marvel.
- Chyba sobie 偶artujesz?!{i'm Captain Marvel you gotta be fucking kidding me}
201
01:18:51,870 --> 01:19:01,450
Tak...nie!
Ale hej, odpierdol si臋 od mojej ksywy, co powiesz na zmian臋 jej na co艣 g艂upiego, co pozwoli nam wsp贸艂istnie膰?{yeah no but hey where is up fucking the out of you how about you change your name to something stupid that allows us to coexist}
202
01:19:01,450 --> 01:19:04,950
Zanim nieuchronnie wypisz臋 ci臋 na straty.{until they inevitably write you off}
203
01:19:04,950 --> 01:19:09,250
My艣la艂am nad czym艣 jak "Photon"{i'm thinking something like photon}
204
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:20,350
Czekaj, mam co艣, "Pulsar"?{wait i have a good one pulsar}
205
01:19:21,650 --> 01:19:24,400
Spectrum?
206
01:19:30,870 --> 01:19:35,470
Ty suko!
Nie zamierzam jej zmienia膰.{yo bitch i'm not changing shit}
207
01:19:35,470 --> 01:19:39,100
Dlaczego sama nie zaczniesz nazywa膰 si臋 czym艣 tandetnym jak...{why don't you start calling yourself something cheesy like}
208
01:19:39,100 --> 01:19:42,450
..."War Bird" albo "Binary"
209
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:51,170
Mam lepszy pomys艂.{i've got a better idea}
210
01:19:51,170 --> 01:19:59,200
Co powiesz na to, 偶eby艣my oboje si臋 pierdolili?
Kt贸ra pierwsza dojdzie, musi zmieni膰 ksywk臋.{how about we both fuck the shit the out of each other and the first one who comes has to change your name}
211
01:20:00,020 --> 01:20:03,120
Jeste艣 pewna, 偶e chcesz na to i艣膰?{hah are you sure you want to go there}
212
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:09,020
M贸j j臋zyk jest powodem, dla kt贸rego nazywaj膮 mnie Kapitan Marvel,
mog臋 zdzia艂a膰 cuda z twoj膮 艂echtaczk膮.{my tongue is why they call me Captain Marvel on the job they can work wonders on your clit sister}
213
01:20:09,020 --> 01:20:13,470
Shazam, zobaczmy co tam masz.{well Shazam let's see what you've got}
214
01:29:25,850 --> 01:29:32,150
Ty kurwo!
Czy przyjechali艣my tutaj tylko po to, aby艣 mog艂a dorwa膰 jak膮艣 dup臋!?{motherfucker do you have to come all the way out here just to get some ass}
215
01:29:33,350 --> 01:29:37,270
Wi臋c, sta艂e艣 tutaj ca艂y czas i nie do艂膮czy艂e艣 do nas?{so you were standing here this whole time and you didn't join it}
216
01:29:38,300 --> 01:29:44,220
Jeste艣 g艂upszy ni偶 wygl膮dasz.{you're dumber than you look}
217
01:29:47,100 --> 01:29:53,550
- Dobra, dobra, Photon mo偶e by膰.
- Zuch dziewczynka.{all right all right boat on it is a a girl}
218
01:29:53,550 --> 01:29:59,650
Ale nikt nie b臋dzie mn膮 dyrygowa膰.
Jestem siln膮 czarn膮 kobiet膮 i zostaj臋 tutaj.{but ain't nobody gonna write me off i'm a strong black independent woman and i'm here to stay}
219
01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:05,600
Co do kurwy?!
220
01:30:07,550 --> 01:30:10,220
O kurwa!{oh motherfucker}
221
01:30:23,370 --> 01:30:28,520
Czekaj...
Pstrykni臋cie...{oh wait the snapper}
222
01:30:28,520 --> 01:30:31,670
Musz臋 znale藕膰 spos贸b, 偶eby to cofn膮膰.{i've got to find a way to undo this}
223
01:30:34,100 --> 01:30:36,750
Kurwa, to dzia艂a na Supermana.{fuck it works for superman}
224
01:30:56,250 --> 01:31:02,950
Wi臋c zaczynamy.
Och, kotek, kici, kici, kici, zobaczcie na to.{so begins oh catty look at that}
225
01:31:02,950 --> 01:31:05,920
Jeste艣 cipk膮, cipk膮, cipk膮.
Jeste艣 bardzo urocz膮 cipk膮.{your pussy pussy}
226
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:13,800
- O tak, jeste艣 naj艣liczniejsz膮 cipk膮 jak膮 widzia艂em, o sp贸j偶 na siebie, 艣liczna cipka.
- To nie jest cipka.{you the only pussy that's not a pussy}
227
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:17,470
No i prosz臋, typowy 偶art o kotku.{no here we go typical kitty pussy joke}
228
01:31:17,470 --> 01:31:21,550
- Zgaduj臋, 偶e skaka艂a艣 z rekinami i robi艂a艣 z nimi te rzeczy.
- To Flerken{i guess we're jumping the shark and doing the wood rocket thing now it's a Fleur Ken}
229
01:31:21,550 --> 01:31:24,650
Co takiego?{what}
230
01:31:24,650 --> 01:31:28,070
- Co to za g贸wno?!
- Pr贸bowa艂am ci臋 ostrzec.{what the shit tried to warn you}
231
01:31:28,070 --> 01:31:32,450
- I kim ty kurwa jeste艣?
- Carol Danvers ale...{and who the fucker you Carol Danvers but}
232
01:31:32,450 --> 01:31:36,150
...s膮dz臋, 偶e mo偶esz mnie nazywa膰 Kapitan Marvel.{i guess you can call me Captain Marvel}
233
01:31:36,150 --> 01:31:41,370
- Potrzebujesz szkolenia.
- O Jezu, Ruda, znowu.{you need training no geez read you again}
234
01:31:42,700 --> 01:31:47,570
Fajny kostium, a ty to...{cool costume and you are}
235
01:31:48,170 --> 01:31:52,600
Nazywam si臋 Jean Grey,
ale mo偶esz mnie nazywa膰 Phoenix.{my name is Jean Grey but you can call me Phoenix}
236
01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:58,200
Jestem telekinetycznym mutantem telepat膮 poziomu Omega oraz cz艂onkini膮 X-Men.{i'm an omega-level mutant telekinetic an telepath and a member of the x-men}
237
01:31:58,200 --> 01:32:04,670
Od jakiego艣 czasu pr贸bujemy zrekrutowa膰 tego g艂upka,
zanim zniszczy Universum Marvela.{we've been trying to recruit this fuck the dumb for a while you know before he kills the Marvel Universe}
238
01:32:04,670 --> 01:32:08,350
Co si臋 sta艂o,
ugryz艂a艣 si臋 w j臋zyk?{what happened cat catch you tongue}
239
01:32:08,350 --> 01:32:13,920
- Ona m贸wi do mnie w my艣lach ty kretynie.
- Tak, tak, nie wa偶ne, pos艂uchaj...{she's speaking to me telepathically you moron yeah yeah whatever look}
240
01:32:13,920 --> 01:32:21,500
Je艣li my艣lisz, 偶e chica艂bym zosta膰 obywatelem walcz膮cym z przest臋pczo艣ci膮, kt贸ry gania艂by z przest臋pcami i wygl膮da艂 jak Kapitan Picard...{if you think i'd rather become a crime-fighting citizen who was the bunch of whiners and a ball of creepy guy who looks like Captain Picard}
241
01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:26,400
...to jeste艣 w ogromnym b艂臋dzie.
{you're seriously mistaken}
242
01:32:27,550 --> 01:32:34,450
Zaczekaj, czy nie mo偶emy, no wiesz...{or we it this you know}
243
01:32:38,420 --> 01:32:42,050
W twoich snach, g艂upku.{in your dreams dumbass}
244
01:32:42,050 --> 01:32:48,100
To znaczy jest irytuj膮cy,
ale to ca艂e kr臋cenie troch臋 mnie wkurza.{i mean he's annoying but all that spinning i'm a little worked up}
245
01:32:48,100 --> 01:32:52,070
- Ta Ruda jest cholernie zajebista.
- S艂usza艂am to.{and the redhead is pretty fucking hot i heard that}
246
01:32:52,070 --> 01:33:00,320
- Och cholera!
- Nie musisz przeprasza膰, je艣li pomo偶esz mi go zrekrutowa膰, to dam ci w dup臋 Phoenix Raptor.{oh shit no need to apologize if you help me recruit him i'll give your ass a Phoenix Raptor}
247
01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:03,970
Co to jest
i co z tym facetem?{what's that and waht about this guy}
248
01:33:03,970 --> 01:33:07,250
Czy on b臋dzie ca艂y czas nadawa艂,
je艣li go we藕miemy?{is he gonna keep yapping the whole time if we do him}
249
01:33:07,250 --> 01:33:10,250
Po prostu zamkniemy mu usta.
Przyda艂by mi si臋 jaki艣 kutas.{just tune him out i can use some dick}
250
01:33:10,250 --> 01:33:12,770
Mi r贸wnie偶.{so can i}
251
01:33:27,750 --> 01:33:30,000
252
01:53:01,950 --> 01:53:03,620
I ci臋cie!{and cut}
253
01:53:03,620 --> 01:53:07,900
Pi臋knie, to by艂o niesamowite.
艢wietnie.{beautiful that's was amazing awesome}
254
01:53:07,900 --> 01:53:12,700
Hej, b臋dziesz gentelmenem i pogadasz z aktorkami?{hey ya where we little supposed gentleman model talk to listen}
255
01:53:12,700 --> 01:53:17,650
Tak mistrzu tak, cenna uwaga.{si maestro si buena note}
256
01:53:17,650 --> 01:53:21,500
Deadpool by艂e艣 wspania艂y.{DP pussy get that's magnificent}
257
01:53:21,500 --> 01:53:32,050
Dziewczyny my艣l臋, 偶e macie wielki potencja艂,
ale potrzebujecie odpowiedniej osoby, odpowiedniego przewodnika,
odpowiedniej r臋ki, kt贸ra poprowadzi was w stron臋 s艂awy.{girls i think you have great potential but you need the right person the right guidance the right hand to steer you toward stardom}
258
01:53:32,050 --> 01:53:36,920
Za niewielk膮 co miesi臋czn膮 op艂at膮
mog臋 by膰 wasz膮 praw膮 r臋k膮, zgadzacie si臋?{now for a small monthly fee i can be that hand alright}
259
01:53:36,920 --> 01:53:41,220
Wiecie pami臋tam jak w latach '60 pracowa艂em z Brando...{you know i remember back in the 60s and i was working with Brando}
260
01:53:41,220 --> 01:53:46,620
- ...i powiedzia艂em Marlon, 偶e mog臋 wznie艣膰 j膮 na szczyt...
- O m贸j kurwa Bo偶e!{and i said Marlon i can take you to the top of oh my fucking god}
261
01:53:46,620 --> 01:53:51,570
Nie mog臋 go znie艣膰.{i can't stand him}
262
01:53:51,570 --> 01:53:55,550
...pracowa艂em z nim oraz z Nelli, Jonathan...{we worked with him on that they never quit}
263
01:53:58,000 --> 01:54:00,120
O cholera!{oh shit}
264
01:54:00,120 --> 01:54:03,320
Nie藕le.{nice}
265
01:54:06,120 --> 01:54:11,700
Dobra ludziska,
my艣l臋, 偶e w ko艅cu jestem w pe艂ni si艂.{all right guys i think i'm finally at full power}
266
01:54:11,700 --> 01:54:17,550
Wiecie co to oznacza?
Czas na niepowstrzyman膮 superbohaterk臋.{you know what that means it's unstoppable ass kicker time}
267
01:54:18,600 --> 01:54:24,670
Wiecie tak jak na ko艅cu Thor'a.
Thor'a Ragnarok.{you know like we did at the end of Thor Thor Ragnarok}
268
01:54:25,770 --> 01:54:32,520
W ka偶dym razie musz臋 zabi膰 "Pstrykacza",
zanim obr贸ci nas wszystkich w py艂.{anyways gotta go kill the snapper before it turns you all into dust}
269
01:54:32,520 --> 01:54:37,420
Do zobaczenie w sequel'u.
Kapitan Marvel wychodzi.{seeing the sequel Captain Marvel out}
270
01:54:38,920 --> 01:54:41,670
Pa.
271
01:54:45,700 --> 01:54:53,150
Mo偶e to dobry pomys艂, 偶eby艣 przyszed艂 i zobaczy艂 nasz膮 szko艂臋,
mam przeczucie, 偶e spodoba ci si臋 Rouge.{might be a good idea for you to come and check out our school i have a feeling you're gonna like Rouge}
272
01:54:55,920 --> 01:55:01,720
C贸偶 Ruda,
my艣l臋, 偶e to mo偶e by膰 pocz膮tek pi臋knej przyja藕ni.{well read i think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship}
273
01:55:04,950 --> 01:55:08,600
KONIEC
274
01:55:08,600 --> 01:55:10,600
39314
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